Toys that terrify

[Lunar Daydreamer]

The thread for toys that scare you, toys that just plain offend.

I don't like clowns. I dont like porcelain dolls. Porcelain doll clowns scare the bajesus out of me.

On the offensive side, can anyone tell me why Bratz are so popular. Hmmm a toy line where they all look like skanky hookers?! Every time I see them i'm just so so bemused.

[Cam63]

My neice is scared of the wind up Wolverine toy my sister owns.

[Cam63]

I don't like Harlequin dolls or the Bratz things either.

[WhiteRose]

Remember a while ago someone figured out that if a real woman had Barbie's measurements, she'd be forced on all fours and have severe muscle cramps?

What would happen if someone had the Bratz doll measurements? The shear cost of make-up would kill them!

[Lunar Daydreamer]

I think their first problem is buying a nose :P

[Cam63]

I think they'd have trouble holding their heads upright.

[WhiteRose]

Seriously though, the new Black Canary IdC figure offends me. And the JLU one scares me. It's the eyes. The eyes DESTROY ME.

[Night Swordsman]

I actually agree about the dolls. Evil doll stories ALWAYS get me.

And Bratz...shudder...i WORK with toys FOR A LIVING. Bratz make me scream.
Them and the damn CARE BEARS! ARRRRRRRRRGH!

[Lunar Daydreamer]

Whats wrong with care bears?!

Lifts t-shirt to show sunshine tattoo...

STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!

:p

[David Bedlam]

There's a line of models from Todd McFarlane's company called Twisted Fairy Tales.

Here's Red Riding Hood:

http://www.figuresdirect.com.au/Images/mfmonsters/monsters4redhood.jpg

So far they're the only things I've seen in a comic store that has made me want to run screaming out the door.

[Selina Quinzel]

Clowns, yes, oy. Harlequin dolls are just as bad, their spooky white faces glowing in the moonlight with their vacant, glassy eyes just staring at you...
I remember setting up an army of my barbies, my little ponies, my Jem, Rainbow Brite and She-Ra doll as a frontline between my bed and creepy stuff I got as presents in my closet.

[Lunar Daydreamer]

Clowns, yes, oy. Harlequin dolls are just as bad, their spooky white faces glowing in the moonlight with their vacant, glassy eyes just staring at you...
I remember setting up an army of my barbies, my little ponies, my Jem, Rainbow Brite and She-Ra doll as a frontline between my bed and creepy stuff I got as presents in my closet.

Either youre influenced by or dont remember Small Soldiers ... damn those Barbie's were creepy...woo and top film I haven't seen in forever!

[Venoman]

arnt the bratz just aload of teenage mexican street whores with a severe case of hydrocephalus?

[Michael P]

arnt the bratz just aload of teenage mexican street whores with a severe case of hydrocephalus?
No, they have teenage white street whores and teenage black street whores as well.

[Noah Johnson]

Okay, this one isn't scary, but it's kind of disturbing.
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00005NEBW.01.PT01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
This "toy" was amazing. It's a plastic Nimbus 2000, and you straddle it, turn it on, and it starts vibrating. That's ALL it does.

It was discontinued, for obvious reasons:
http://www.davesdaily.com/pictures/398-harrypottersbroomstick.htm

The minute I saw it, I wished I had enough money to buy about 30 of them and keep them in storage for 20 years. 'Cause in 20 years, there's going to be a lot of grown women going "God, when I was 11, I had the coolest toy... man, I've got some fond memories of that thing. I wonder if anyone has one on eBay?"

[Crinos]

Okay, this one isn't scary, but it's kind of disturbing.
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00005NEBW.01.PT01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
This "toy" was amazing. It's a plastic Nimbus 2000, and you straddle it, turn it on, and it starts vibrating. That's ALL it does.

It was discontinued, for obvious reasons:
http://www.davesdaily.com/pictures/398-harrypottersbroomstick.htm

The minute I saw it, I wished I had enough money to buy about 30 of them and keep them in storage for 20 years. 'Cause in 20 years, there's going to be a lot of grown women going "God, when I was 11, I had the coolest toy... man, I've got some fond memories of that thing. I wonder if anyone has one on eBay?"

This was brought up on another board, and they thought it would be hilarious if they toy said stuff like "Vrooom!" or "The chamber of secrets has been opened!" when used.

I am wont to agree with them.

[Venoman]

thats fucking hilarious.... why ban it though? we might aswell ban electic toobrushes and tumble dryers if were gonna ban vibrating toys

[Converge]

thats fucking hilarious.... why ban it though? we might aswell ban electic toobrushes and tumble dryers if were gonna ban vibrating toys

It didn't get banned.

The toymaker cancelled production of their own volition.

[Selina Quinzel]

Either youre influenced by or dont remember Small Soldiers ... damn those Barbie's were creepy...woo and top film I haven't seen in forever!

Those WERE creepy, but technically they weren't actually Barbies (c) ;)
Well I'm afraid of them NOW (except the super cute ones of Harley Quinn and Batgirl and so on) but as a little girl I loved them and wanted to look just like barbie when I grew up, which shockingly didn't happen.

I love Joe Dante movies, Small Soldiers was Phil Hartman's last film too, wasn't it? Sad...

[Converge]

http://www.t-shirtking.com/graphics/102-01158.jpg

[Bright-Raven]

I remember being pretty disgusted with Todd McFarlane's SPAWN stuff being labeled "ages 4 and up". Yeah, right. Toys for a little kid based on a comic book about a government assassin who is killed, arrives in hell, and makes a deal with the devil to come back to earth. With the comics with the figures, no less! Yeah, that's just PERFECT for a four year old, Toddy Mac! :rolleyes: Let's make sure they get the one with the ice cream truck killer demon!

This isn't to say the toys were bad, per se, just innappropriately marketed. The reality that McFarlane thought that his content was remotely appropriate for a 4 year old is what is creepy.

[Bright-Raven]

*edited out*

[Paploo the Ewok]

http://www.t-shirtking.com/graphics/102-01158.jpg


I wanted one of those a lot when i was 5. You put in the cassette tape in his back, and his mouth would move in sync to it, reading stories from the books. It encouraged reading, and had a neat cartoon, but in retrospect, kind of creepy.

Bratz Babies are a new realm of wrong- Hooker Babies.

Also, Irwin's Canadian Exclusive Sailor Moon dolls [1995-2001]. I always found them endearing, and kind of cool as they included villans, but the face sculpts were hideous- No NOSES!

http://www.bobagirl.com/anime/sailormoon/sm-ir-mini-tomoe.jpg
And really poofy hair.

I own Sailor Uranus
http://www.bobagirl.com/anime/sailormoon/sm-ir-mini-uranus.jpg

The 12inch verisons are a tad more frightening, but just as amusing

Their 2000 line released in the US and Canada had much better, new headsculpts, but alas, very few villans.

[Phoney Bone]

http://www.t-shirtking.com/graphics/102-01158.jpg

I disagree. Teddy Rukpin was way cool! I remeber my nephew leaving his at my parents when I was in high school. I popped a Richard Pryor cassette in him.

Comedy gold!

[Red Berens]

I just checked out the McFarlan site with the Twisted Fairy Tales. Good grief. It's bad enough that we have women in refrigerators, but now women in pumpkins? Although that old fairy tale does finally makes sense after seeing the toy. But still, this one has got to be the worst.

[JonathanMS]

I hate and fear clowns and everything about them; THEY ARE AN ABOMINATION!!!! :mad:

Um, excuse me :o .

Anyways, I too find the Bratz dolls offensive. Its not exactly the kind of message little girls need to be getting.
And in a related topic, I feel pretty much the same way about those Homies figures that are being sold now days. Yeah, thats it, lets give the kids encouragement to become gang members.

[Converge]

I just checked out the McFarlan site with the Twisted Fairy Tales. Good grief. It's bad enough that we have women in refrigerators, but now women in pumpkins? Although that old fairy tale does finally makes sense after seeing the toy. But still, this one has got to be the worst.

oh, come on.

[Crowley]

The thread for toys that scare you, toys that just plain offend.

I don't like clowns. I dont like porcelain dolls. Porcelain doll clowns scare the bajesus out of me.

On the offensive side, can anyone tell me why Bratz are so popular. Hmmm a toy line where they all look like skanky hookers?! Every time I see them i'm just so so bemused.
i think you're thinking of the Living Dead Dolls:
http://www.livingdeaddolls.com/archive/photos/Fashion+Victims+Series+1/ldd-fv1-003-1.jpg
http://www.livingdeaddolls.com/archive/preview.asp?main_id=ldd&sub_id=ldd%2Dfv1&name=Sheena&series=Fashion+Victims+Series+1&deathdate=Whatever%2C+piss+off%21&chipboard=%3Ci%3EPoems+were+not+composed+for+this+ series+of+dolls%2E%3C%2Fi%3E&dyk=The+Living+Dead+Dolls+Fashion+Victims+stand+13 %22+tall+and+are+composed+of+mixed+media%3A+a+rubb ery+body+over+a+wire+armature%2E+Sheena+comes+with +an+alternate+outfit%3B+pop+off+her+hands+and+feet +to+make+switching+clothes+easier%2E%3Cbr%3E%3Cbr% 3EThe+LDD+Fashion+Victims+Series+1+Set+is+still+av ailable+for+purchase+in+the++%3Ca+href%3Dhttp%3A%2 F%2Fwww%2Emezcodirect%2Ecom%2Fecommerce%2Fldd%2Eht ml%3E%3Cb%3EMezco+Direct+Store%3C%2Fb%3E%3C%2Fa%3E %2E&msrp=%2440%2E00&ages=For+ages+15+and+up&description=%3Ci%3ESheena+comes+with+a+%22Deadmate +of+the+Month%22+centerfold+poster%2E+No+death+cer tificate+was+issued+for+this+doll%2E%3C%2Fi%3E&product_id=ldd%2Dfv1%2D003&status=Sold+Out&units=&title=Sheena&ai=1

Bratz on the other hand are fairly benign:
http://www.bratzpack.com/

[Lester C.]

i think you're thinking of the Living Dead Dolls:
http://www.livingdeaddolls.com/archive/photos/Fashion+Victims+Series+1/ldd-fv1-003-1.jpg
http://www.livingdeaddolls.com/archive/preview.asp?main_id=ldd&sub_id=ldd%2Dfv1&name=Sheena&series=Fashion+Victims+Series+1&deathdate=Whatever%2C+piss+off%21&chipboard=%3Ci%3EPoems+were+not+composed+for+this+ series+of+dolls%2E%3C%2Fi%3E&dyk=The+Living+Dead+Dolls+Fashion+Victims+stand+13 %22+tall+and+are+composed+of+mixed+media%3A+a+rubb ery+body+over+a+wire+armature%2E+Sheena+comes+with +an+alternate+outfit%3B+pop+off+her+hands+and+feet +to+make+switching+clothes+easier%2E%3Cbr%3E%3Cbr% 3EThe+LDD+Fashion+Victims+Series+1+Set+is+still+av ailable+for+purchase+in+the++%3Ca+href%3Dhttp%3A%2 F%2Fwww%2Emezcodirect%2Ecom%2Fecommerce%2Fldd%2Eht ml%3E%3Cb%3EMezco+Direct+Store%3C%2Fb%3E%3C%2Fa%3E %2E&msrp=%2440%2E00&ages=For+ages+15+and+up&description=%3Ci%3ESheena+comes+with+a+%22Deadmate +of+the+Month%22+centerfold+poster%2E+No+death+cer tificate+was+issued+for+this+doll%2E%3C%2Fi%3E&product_id=ldd%2Dfv1%2D003&status=Sold+Out&units=&title=Sheena&ai=1

Bratz on the other hand are fairly benign:
http://www.bratzpack.com/

A picture of Black Canary undercover during the early days of her career?

[The Xenos]

http://www.t-shirtking.com/graphics/102-01158.jpg

Of course the real fun of that is you put some incredibly wrong tape into him and he starts saying things a teddy bear never should. I keep meaning to try that.

-Xenos

[Cam63]

i think you're thinking of the Living Dead Dolls:
http://www.livingdeaddolls.com/archive/photos/Fashion+Victims+Series+1/ldd-fv1-003-1.jpg
http://www.livingdeaddolls.com/archive/preview.asp?main_id=ldd&sub_id=ldd%2Dfv1&name=Sheena&series=Fashion+Victims+Series+1&deathdate=Whatever%2C+piss+off%21&chipboard=%3Ci%3EPoems+were+not+composed+for+this+ series+of+dolls%2E%3C%2Fi%3E&dyk=The+Living+Dead+Dolls+Fashion+Victims+stand+13 %22+tall+and+are+composed+of+mixed+media%3A+a+rubb ery+body+over+a+wire+armature%2E+Sheena+comes+with +an+alternate+outfit%3B+pop+off+her+hands+and+feet +to+make+switching+clothes+easier%2E%3Cbr%3E%3Cbr% 3EThe+LDD+Fashion+Victims+Series+1+Set+is+still+av ailable+for+purchase+in+the++%3Ca+href%3Dhttp%3A%2 F%2Fwww%2Emezcodirect%2Ecom%2Fecommerce%2Fldd%2Eht ml%3E%3Cb%3EMezco+Direct+Store%3C%2Fb%3E%3C%2Fa%3E %2E&msrp=%2440%2E00&ages=For+ages+15+and+up&description=%3Ci%3ESheena+comes+with+a+%22Deadmate +of+the+Month%22+centerfold+poster%2E+No+death+cer tificate+was+issued+for+this+doll%2E%3C%2Fi%3E&product_id=ldd%2Dfv1%2D003&status=Sold+Out&units=&title=Sheena&ai=1

Bratz on the other hand are fairly benign:
http://www.bratzpack.com/

I think they could be marketed for 4 year olds and up.

In Hell-l-l-l-l !!!

[Crowley]

I think they could be marketed for 4 year olds and up.

In Hell-l-l-l-l !!!

my 14yo cousin loves them... she's gothy.

[Cam63]

They're better than Bratz and Barbie, I'll give 'em that.

[Cam63]

...and a rack you can rest a drink on.

[Lunar Daydreamer]

Those WERE creepy, but technically they weren't actually Barbies (c) ;)
Well I'm afraid of them NOW (except the super cute ones of Harley Quinn and Batgirl and so on) but as a little girl I loved them and wanted to look just like barbie when I grew up, which shockingly didn't happen.

I love Joe Dante movies, Small Soldiers was Phil Hartman's last film too, wasn't it? Sad...

I thought that was KiKi's Delivery Service?!

Either way, genuinely funny bloake and a great loss.

There was a comedy show he did that barely aired over here, something Radio ... loved what I saw of it?

[Noah Johnson]

There was a comedy show he did that barely aired over here, something Radio ... loved what I saw of it?
Newsradio, remarkably good show.

Also the source of an utterly astonishing Internet fact: there is no known Newsradio slash fiction, last I heard.

[Cam63]

Seriously though, the new Black Canary IdC figure offends me. And the JLU one scares me. It's the eyes. The eyes DESTROY ME.

http://www.actionfigureinsider.com/news/images/DCD/sol/IDCRISIScanary.jpg

She looks fine to me. :eek:

[The Xenos]

For a transexual hooker she looks fine.

-Xenos

[Selina Quinzel]

That Black Canary thing is blah, so dissapointing they'd make it so crummy. After that and seeing Frank Miller's recent drawing of her... I really think she needs to file a complaint with the Comic Code Authority over abuse of her image or something.

Newsradio! I have the season 1 & 2 DVD for that. It airs a lot here (popular in re-runs) but was still underrated.

[Cam63]

I hear the IDC Black Canary makes over $ 200 an hour, having customers lick her boots and drink out of a dog bowl.

[Lester C.]

http://www.actionfigureinsider.com/news/images/DCD/sol/IDCRISIScanary.jpg

If you work on the face a bit the toy doesn’t look half bad. Black Canary looks like a warrior instead of a prostitute which is a step in the right direction.

[Lunar Daydreamer]

Thats what happens if you have a fight with Stretch Armstrong ;)

[Azrael52]

There's a line of models from Todd McFarlane's company called Twisted Fairy Tales.

Here's Red Riding Hood:

http://www.figuresdirect.com.au/Images/mfmonsters/monsters4redhood.jpg

So far they're the only things I've seen in a comic store that has made me want to run screaming out the door.

What, never seen Motorbike Puppies?

[Azrael52]

Newsradio! I have the season 1 & 2 DVD for that. It airs a lot here (popular in re-runs) but was still underrated.

Quin, if you were looking for something to get me for Christmas, that's it. :)

Seriously, I love that show! It went downhill win Hartman died and John Lovits came in. Man, Andy Dick and Mr. Jameson. Freakin' classic! I could (and have) watch those over and over and over again.

[Azrael52]

When I was young, I had these HUGE blowup dinosaurs. I had a T-Rex, a Stegasaur, and a Brontasaur (Sorry for the spelling). They were so freakin' great! I loved those guys. I had my parents suspend them in the corners of my room. I mean awesome; I loved it.......

...............but then.............................
................The Lights Go Out!!! (cue the sinister music)........


Talking about scaring the crap outta ya! I had them taken down like 2 seconds later. I still have nightmares.

[Lunar Daydreamer]

When I was young, I had these HUGE blowup dinosaurs. I had a T-Rex, a Stegasaur, and a Brontasaur (Sorry for the spelling). They were so freakin' great! I loved those guys. I had my parents suspend them in the corners of my room. I mean awesome; I loved it.......

...............but then.............................
................The Lights Go Out!!! (cue the sinister music)........


Talking about scaring the crap outta ya! I had them taken down like 2 seconds later. I still have nightmares.

Lol... I saw every second of that in my head!

Oh man!

*Hugs*