Reasons Never to Drink Miller #2

[Fabian]

There's some corporate parties I like attending, and there's other that I don't. The Miller Brewing Company has some offices near the restaurant I work at and I've been the "lucky" one to attend them recently. If there was ever a company I nevert want to wait on again, it's Miller

This happened the other day when I had a table of four who all had the Miller logo on their shirts. I was at another table and they immediately gave me the snapping finger signs to go attend them. So I went over and they immediately starting telling me how I should had been there sooner, that they work for Miller and that they have money and whatnot. I pretty much don't care and got there drink orders, gave 'em the ol' fake waiter smile and acted like all was good

Then 4 more people came and they got angry that they coulnd't fit in the same booth. I said to please wait as I got some other tables together to seat them but instead of waiting, they just grabbed random tables together (from a mishmash of waiter stations) and made a disarray of the floorplan. Fine, but I made the new people wait as I attended to the other customers.

By the time I get there, they order they drinks and food and I put it in. Within 10 min, 4 more people show up and they just mishmash more tables. I also take their orders in and go about my regularly scheduled shift. Now everyone got their food and these 12 people all of a sudden wanted separate checks and got angry at me for saying it would take awhile since they never told me before. I ended up making only 5 separate checks and the manager came over that I can't do any more because I was busy and if they would had told me sooner, it would had been no problem.

2 of the corporate credit cards got declined and said it must have been my fault. The other people left me roughly 11% of the total bill while the ones who got declined barely had enough to pay with cash

And then 4 more Miller people come in and they get angry at me for not carrying MGD in the restaurant as if I had any control over it. Then one of the women in the group orders a Margarita and complains that it tastes like Kool-Aid. We make her another one with a little over twice the alcohol and now she says it tastes like powdered sugar. I say she must be tasting things because it has more alcohol and surely the sugar taste would show up more in the first one and she says she knows her margaritas and tequila. So we make her another one, with fresh squeezed limes and now she says it tastes like lemonade. Meanwhile, the 2 other guys who ordered the same drink as her didn't say theirs was bad. Bartender finally gets pissed at this woman and makes her a really shitty margarita, using our cheapest tequila and left-over sweet-sour. I serve it to her and she says it tastes delicious and like the margaritas she's used to. Although she got like 3 drinks free, I still ended up overcharging her like $15-18 with her 3 drinks she thought were top shelf but in reality was booze backwash.

Restaurant is about to close in 5 minutes and they put in an order for 4 more guys who want to eat there. The other guys get there 30 min after closing and of course complained that the food was dry since it was in the heat lamps for so long. Kitchen got pissed for making them make new plates but these guys kept saying, "Mess with us and Miller won't ever do business with you again."

Long story short, I left roughly 1.5 hours after closing and they left me like 13% of the rest of their tab. They were impossible to deal with and just kept making ridiculous demands and acting like I owed them something. They returned around 7 drinks and 4 plates in total.

Now I'm spiteful so I wrote down all the names I got from their credit cards (which were all Miller Corporate ones) and am about to email the corporate offices with all their names and ask if that is how they want their employees to represent them

[Jeff Brady]

Kick their asses, man. That really sucks.

[SteelTownr]

I love that last part about writing the names down.

Please, let us know what comes of it!

Mark B.

[Fabian]

Kick their asses, man. That really sucks.
That's one for tattle telling

I love that last part about writing the names down.

Please, let us know what comes of it!

Mark B.
Tally comes to 2

But yeah, I was angry, the other waiters were angry too since their stations got all mixed and pretty much everyone was left angry. They walked in there like they owned the place.

I'll let you know if I get a reply

[SteelTownr]

I don't think it counts as tattling since your manager had to get involved.

Fortunately, he sounds like a cool guy and was on your side, but if he happened to be a dick bag, you might have gotten in trouble with him and had an even shittier night.

Go get 'em!

Mark B.

[Fabian]

I don't think it counts as tattling since your manager had to get involved.

Fortunately, he sounds like a cool guy and was on your side, but if he happened to be a dick bag, you might have gotten in trouble with him and had an even shittier night.

Go get 'em!

Mark B.
The manager of the night is a kitty cat, he's one of those who would do anything for a guest and that's why they got some free drinks and plates. He will have to say how they acted though. Also, I always call a manager over when I get angry at someone because I had gotten in trouble before when I snap back at people. And if you've seen enough of my posts here, you know it isn't pretty

Sides, they were a corporate table, wearing the corporate shirts with logo and paying with a corporate card.

[west3man]

Their attitudes were ridiculous. They should be ashamed, but probably aren't.

Question: With large parties that come in piecemeal, is the default ticket plan to put them all on the same bill? Is that something that varies by region?

[Fabian]

Question: With large parties that come in piecemeal, is the default ticket plan to put them all on the same bill? Is that something that varies by region?
We have various policies at work for large parties

*If you made a reservation, we tell you it will be one bill with gratuity included (15%-18% depending on who the manager is) and ask if it's ok. If not, you must tell is in advance who has what and ask to please make it as easy as possible for us. I don't want person A sharing with person X while splitting the costs of two appetizers person O ordered while person B and C want me to give me exact change for the bill of person G so they can put person U's credit card on it. Well you get the idea, sounds ridiculous but it happens

*If you're just a walk-in, we generally don't put in the gratuity (our particular chain frowns on it much to the chagrin of the waitstaff) but we do ask to tell us in advance of the separate bills. If you don't say anything, we put it on 1 and when it comes time to split it, there's a good chance it will take awhile

[west3man]

We have various policies at work for large parties

*If you made a reservation, we tell you it will be one bill with gratuity included (15%-18% depending on who the manager is) and ask if it's ok. If not, you must tell is in advance who has what and ask to please make it as easy as possible for us. I don't want person A sharing with person X while splitting the costs of two appetizers person O ordered while person B and C want me to give me exact change for the bill of person G so they can put person U's credit card on it. Well you get the idea, sounds ridiculous but it happens

*If you're just a walk-in, we generally don't put in the gratuity (our particular chain frowns on it much to the chagrin of the waitstaff) but we do ask to tell us in advance of the separate bills. If you don't say anything, we put it on 1 and when it comes time to split it, there's a good chance it will take awhile
You ask? Is there a sign?

I remember being displeased when a take-out order from Waffle House was higher than I expected. Then I found out she'd included the tip. I didn't think that was cool. I said so. She pointed to the yellow sign directly below or on the cash register. Kinda embarrassing, but fair enough, I guess.


Let me bug you one (thousand) more time, please. What do you think is an appropriate tipping style/formula/whatever for take-out orders? I'm not trying to divert the thread. I just remembered Steeltownr's response and didn't remember if I'd ever heard/seen yours.

[borateen]

Now I'm spiteful so I wrote down all the names I got from their credit cards (which were all Miller Corporate ones) and am about to email the corporate offices with all their names and ask if that is how they want their employees to represent them

Awesome. Let 'em have it.

[borateen]

Let me bug you one (thousand) more time, please. What do you think is an appropriate tipping style/formula/whatever for take-out orders? I'm not trying to divert the thread. I just remembered Steeltownr's response and didn't remember if I'd ever heard/seen yours.

I'd like to know, too. Personally, I don't tip on take-out. I see no point.

[Fabian]

You ask? Is there a sign?

I remember being displeased when a take-out order from Waffle House was higher than I expected. Then I found out she'd included the tip. I didn't think that was cool. I said so. She pointed to the yellow sign directly below or on the cash register. Kinda embarrassing, but fair enough, I guess.


Let me bug you one (thousand) more time, please. What do you think is an appropriate tipping style/formula/whatever for take-out orders? I'm not trying to divert the thread. I just remembered Steeltownr's response and didn't remember if I'd ever heard/seen yours.
We ask, but there's no sign. Of course we write down that we ask but a person can just as easily say they never got asked and we have to do everything they say (to an extent).


Take-out depends. For the most part, if it's the host who packaged it up for you, they don't expect a tip but a few bucks wouldn't hurt. Nothing like 15% since they don't have to wait on you or tip out but like a buck or two wouldn't hurt. They do package the food and make sure that it's ready when you arrive.

If it's a waiter, go with the 15%. You're taking them away from his tables for him to make sure you order is correct, package it up, and make syre you got all you condiments. They're pretty much doing the host's job for you. Also, some places like mine have the waiters report a certain percentage of our sales where we get taxed on and thus our paychecks get lower. So if I get 3 to-go orders that total $100 and I don't get tipped anything, I still have to report that I made $15. Also, we have to tip out to the people who helped us out (bartender, expo, bus boy, food runner) according to our total sales so we would lose some of our other tips because of it. I personally wouldn't have a problem with someone giving me a few bucks for a to-go order if I didnt have to report my tips.

Also, if you're asking for a to-go while you're at my table, I pick up the check while you wait for the food and if I see I didn't get tipped on the to-go, you're just getting a very messy looking plate from bad packaging

[west3man]

Btw, I don't think I said, but I've gotta give a big thumbs-up to the idea of letting "the company" know what the employees are doing in its name.

[Fabian]

Also, it depends on the restaurant. Like with us, the host would have to make the tortillas for your order and package whatever condiments you ask for. There's also some items that take longer like our soups where we put the soup in one container and we go to the back put every other ingredient that we use as toppings in separate containers. At some places, all they have to do is just put a lid on it and they're done. I know my place doesnt ask the hosts to report their tips so if they don't get a tip, it's no biggie but a buck or two would get you a hook-up with some extra free stuff for next time. Of course, some places *could* ask for their hosts to report a certain percentage of their to-go sales so they expect a tip

It honestly depends between restaurants

[west3man]

I didn't wanna respond to the other stuff and cause more drift than I already have, but this...Also, some places like mine have the waiters report a certain percentage of our sales where we get taxed on and thus our paychecks get lower. So if I get 3 to-go orders that total $100 and I don't get tipped anything, I still have to report that I made $15. Also, we have to tip out to the people who helped us out (bartender, expo, bus boy, food runner) according to our total sales so we would lose some of our other tips because of it....sucks oh-so-much.

That is one frigged up process they've got there - and I just bet it's not exclusive to your location.

[Jeff Brady]

I agree with West; appealing to a higher authority is a damn cool thing to do.

I generally tip 20-25%. Sometimes more if I notice the waiter is REALLY stressed, or is dealing with a horrible customer elsewhere in the restaurant. If the service is poor/mediocre, I tip between 10-15%. If the service is crap, I ask for the manager.

Also, if I'm seated next to the horribly rude customer, I'll speak up and ask him not to be an asshat.

[K'Nort]

Absolutely report them. Usually the company wants to know. They want the waiters buying Miller on their own free time, after all. Not to mention pushing it on the customers. I'd absolutely want to know I had such total morons for employees.

[Fabian]

I didn't wanna respond to the other stuff and cause more drift than I already have, but this......sucks oh-so-much.

That is one frigged up process they've got there - and I just bet it's not exclusive to your location.
It's not. There's some states like where Alex works where he gets paid like $3 an hour and while my base pay is the minimum of $6.75, it fluctuates with how my sales where for that pay period and how much I needed to report. This apparently is a CA thing. IRS comes down on us hard too if we don't report what we make. Of course some restaurants simply don't care if the employees don't report anything. For me, this restaurant has been the most anal about it. So blame the IRS

To give you an idea of how much I can get taken away in taxes, I remember one check I worked 70+ hours but just barely got paid $200.

[Dreadstar]

*If you made a reservation, we tell you it will be one bill with gratuity included (15%-18% depending on who the manager is) and ask if it's ok.


Local policy isn't even an ask if it's OK thing. Parties of 7 or 8 or more AUTOMATICALLY get the 15% - 18%. Depending on the manager or waiter, though, you can still get the check broken down.

Heck, 18% doesn't even cut it for me in some circumstances. I added to the 18% that was automatically tacked on to the last group bill I paid.

...but then again the server was a cutie and was ALL OVER us the entire meal. Good service demands good recompense.

[Fabian]

Absolutely report them. Usually the company wants to know. They want the waiters buying Miller on their own free time, after all. Not to mention pushing it on the customers. I'd absolutely want to know I had such total morons for employees.
Not to mention that we only carry Miller Lite and not MGD so they would want to appeal to us to carry their beer.

This is the 2nd time I had to deal with Miller though. The first time was when I had to serve on a group of 35 of their models plus like 10 people from the corporate office. They ended up taking my entire station but in typical model fashion, they "shared" appetizers and got waters so the bill ended up being a measly $150. Plus they also made a bunch of ridiculous requests. It was like they used my tables to have what could had been a corporate meeting at the office. Sure they were pretty to look at, but I was pissed. That was my entire night ruined

[Fabian]

Local policy isn't even an ask if it's OK thing. Parties of 7 or 8 or more AUTOMATICALLY get the 15% - 18%. Depending on the manager or waiter, though, you can still get the check broken down.

Heck, 18% doesn't even cut it for me in some circumstances. I added to the 18% that was automatically tacked on to the last group bill I paid.

...but then again the server was a cutie and was ALL OVER us the entire meal. Good service demands good recompense.
The restaurant I work for bends over backwards and asks for more when it comes to large parties. They don't even want us asking for the 15% but most managers let us and don't report it. Some managers let us do 18% especially when I say "Do you want me to give them standard no frills service, or a pleasant downright amazing service?"

I did get in trouble about a month back when a lady of a party of 40 came in and refused to pay the 18% we put on it. What made me angry is that the lady called about it A WEEK after she ate there saying she wants part of the tip back because she thinks she left too much. I told the management to stop being ridiculous if they think my tips are on loan. They gave her two free meal tickets because I downright refused to give any money back.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

You are the man. You know, there's every chance in the world that whoever gets your email will blow it off and nothing will happen, but then again, many companies are scrutinizing their employees use of expense accounts more and more these days. Your email just may set off some warning bells that lead to an audit of their respective expense accounts. And, let me tell you, that's some good fun there.

[Fabian]

You are the man. You know, there's every chance in the world that whoever gets your email will blow it off and nothing will happen, but then again, many companies are scrutinizing their employees use of expense accounts more and more these days. Your email just may set off some warning bells that lead to an audit of their respective expense accounts. And, let me tell you, that's some good fun there.
Well there's a phone number too. You know that "questions or comments?" line? I'm calling them too

[Converge]

Question: With large parties that come in piecemeal, is the default ticket plan to put them all on the same bill? Is that something that varies by region?

At my restaurant, I put everything into the computer by seat position regardless of the size of the party or whether or not they want seperate checks. Seperating a ticket takes like 10 seconds.

[Converge]

The restaurant I work for bends over backwards and asks for more when it comes to large parties. They don't even want us asking for the 15% but most managers let us and don't report it. Some managers let us do 18% especially when I say "Do you want me to give them standard no frills service, or a pleasant downright amazing service?"

I did get in trouble about a month back when a lady of a party of 40 came in and refused to pay the 18% we put on it. What made me angry is that the lady called about it A WEEK after she ate there saying she wants part of the tip back because she thinks she left too much. I told the management to stop being ridiculous if they think my tips are on loan. They gave her two free meal tickets because I downright refused to give any money back.

That is retarded.

At my restaurant, a party of 8 or more automatically gets 18% gratuity. It's considered part of the bill. They can't refuse to pay it.

[Fabian]

That is retarded.

At my restaurant, a party of 8 or more automatically gets 18% gratuity. It's considered part of the bill. They can't refuse to pay it.
I agree it's retarded, but hey, company policy and all

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

That is retarded.

At my restaurant, a party of 8 or more automatically gets 18% gratuity. It's considered part of the bill. They can't refuse to pay it.

Large groups should absolutely be charged an automatic gratuity. No matter how nice they are, big groups are a tremendous pain in the ass to the waitstaff and it takes a lot of work to keep them happy. Otherwise, waitstaff loses out. In the time it takes to take care of one table of 8, you can usually turn 4 tables of two at least once.

[Fabian]

At my restaurant, I put everything into the computer by seat position regardless of the size of the party or whether or not they want seperate checks. Seperating a ticket takes like 10 seconds.
Works good if they don't get appetizers for the table or drinks for that person over there and a drink there. Or like I said before, if person A wants to pay with the bill of person R

Plus its' not just the separating that's a problem. It's running all the credit cards, using up your pens, or worse when it's cash and they all give you $20s and you constantly have to keep running to the cash register to get correct change for every single one and hope the loose change doesnt get mixed up

[VCreed32]

I worked 70+ hours but just barely got paid $200.
The devil you say!?

[hulahulk]

Way to go Fabian! Especially with the names of the employees.


At my restaurant/lounge, we can automatically charge 20% on groups of 6 or more.

Some corporate functions bring in some real assholes. The last two nights, we had a group of 25 people in for dinner and drinks (cash bar). I was serving, so they were fortunate enough not to suffer my wrath as a bartender for the following situations:

A customer orders 2 glasses of Merlot from one of the other servers. The server brings over wine and the fat slob gives him a $20. Server says, "sir, it's $11 per glass." The slob, disgusted at having to pay that much, gives him $2 more. "Uh, sir, I'm really sorry, but the total bill comes to $23.54 with tax." The slob throws the remaining $$ at the server, and says, "What are we drinking? Rothchild?" No tip.
Similiar situation at the bar with the bartender. Customer orders a beer. $5 plus tax ($5.35). Pays it willingly, but leaves no tip. Same customer a while later orders 2 more for him and a friend. "How much do I owe you?" he says to the bartender. "$10.70, please, sir," says the bartender. He hands her $8. "Sir, it's 10.70." "You said it was $7.70!" "Umm, I'm sorry sir. I said $10.70. You just paid $5.35 for one. That means it's $10.70 for 2." He throws the remaining money plus some random change on the bar and walks off. Bartender gets $.37 tip.
Another guy from the group "figured out a way" around our high drink prices. He brings in his own 6 pack of beer into the lounge. I told our manager about this. Manager asks the guy to please remove the beer from the lounge, as it is against the law to bring one's own alcohol into a proprietor that has a liquor license. The guy complains but complies.
Now, I realize our bar prices are high (our cheapest glass of wine is $9, and a bottle of 1996 Dom goes for $195), but we have many people happy to pay these prices. These schmucks had no right to be pricks to the other server and the bartender. We work for tips, and to be nice in the face of ignorant assholes takes a lot of intestinal fortitude.

By the way, in the two nights that this group was at the bar, the bartender each night only made $10-$15 in tips TOTAL.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

Obviously, that bartender's tits were too small.

[Fabian]

Oh Cash and Carry can be a real hassle too especially with corporate people. They just don't want to pay for anything. Usually the food and one non-alcoholic drink is free and they get that but really want some drinks but think they're too pricey. However if it's all on the boss's card, they drink up

I'm sure we all have our horror stories

Worst scenario I had. A party of 15 with $350 bill with no tip. I put in the gratuity, they didn't pay.

[hulahulk]

Obviously, that bartender's tits were too small.


Actually, they are quite ample (C+). And they feel reeeeaaalllly good.

[JeffreyWKramer]

Now I'm spiteful so I wrote down all the names I got from their credit cards (which were all Miller Corporate ones) and am about to email the corporate offices with all their names and ask if that is how they want their employees to represent them

Good for you.

Of course, there's no good reason to drink Miller anyhow, because it tastes like cat piss, but that's not an excuse for these folk to be assholes.

[Fabian]

Of course, there's no good reason to drink Miller anyhow, because it tastes like cat piss, but that's not an excuse for these folk to be assholes.
Hence naming it "reason #2"

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

Actually, they are quite ample (C+). And they feel reeeeaaalllly good.

On a side note, shouldn't breast sizes start lower in the alphabet and work their way up to an "A?" I mean, a C+ makes it sounds like those breasts are just a little bit better than adequate, when in fact, we know different.

[Fabian]

On a side note, shouldn't breast sizes start lower in the alphabet and work their way up to an "A?" I mean, a C+ makes it sounds like those breasts are just a little bit better than adequate, when in fact, we know different.
No because those who have A cups don't feel as bad. It's about keeping their confidence up and perky

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

No because those who have A cups don't feel as bad. It's about keeping their confidence up and perky

A cups have no choice but to be perky. Gravity doesn't have much to work with.

[Fabian]

A cups have no choice but to be perky. Gravity doesn't have much to work with.
Well it's so women who have A cups don't feel as bad for having small boobs and they don't join the nunnery while those who have been blessed with D cups don't become so conceited that you'd never have a chance with them

[hulahulk]

On a side note, shouldn't breast sizes start lower in the alphabet and work their way up to an "A?" I mean, a C+ makes it sounds like those breasts are just a little bit better than adequate, when in fact, we know different.


I'd like to have them stay after school to improve their grades.

Anyhoo, the bartender was so upset (having a generally bad day and tired for having worked a double), she put her head on my shoulder and started crying. Apparently she had been dealing with these asswipes all day, and it started to get to her. Working all day and not making any cash.

[JeffreyWKramer]

A cups have no choice but to be perky. Gravity doesn't have much to work with.

That makes them wonderful in their own special way.

They don't offer a whole lot to work with for breast bondage, though.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

I'd like to have them stay after school to improve their grades.

Anyhoo, the bartender was so upset (having a generally bad day and tired for having worked a double), she put her head on my shoulder and started crying. Apparently she had been dealing with these asswipes all day, and it started to get to her. Working all day and not making any cash.

And you just happened to be there for her, out of the goodness of your heart. Got it.

[Fabian]

I'd like to have them stay after school to improve their grades.

Anyhoo, the bartender was so upset (having a generally bad day and tired for having worked a double), she put her head on my shoulder and started crying. Apparently she had been dealing with these asswipes all day, and it started to get to her. Working all day and not making any cash.
Is she new? Cause most people just get extremely angry and don't cry unless they're new. In either case, you won sensitivity points

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

They don't offer a whole lot to work with for breast bondage, though.

I'll take your word for it.

[JeffreyWKramer]

I'll take your word for it.

I could demonstrate with pics, but not here. :)

[Fabian]

I could demonstrate with pics, but not here. :)
I had a disturbing thought of you showing him your chest with DC logo nipple clamps

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

I could demonstrate with pics, but not here. :)

I thank you, and I'm sure many others do, for your discretion. You prevert.

[JeffreyWKramer]

I had a disturbing thought of you showing him your chest


LOL! No, definitely not. I much prefer to do the binding, not be the recipient. Also, while I don't have Liefeldian man-boobs, my hairy, pale pecs aren't likely to impress anyone.

[JeffreyWKramer]

I thank you, and I'm sure many others do, for your discretion. You prevert.

Well, at least one CBR person besides myself has seen the pics in question, and can confirm that A-cups or not, the girl in question is quite cute.

[JeffreyWKramer]

...with DC logo nipple clamps

Okay, editing to add that earns you 50 pervy points, Fabian.

Well done!

[hulahulk]

Is she new? Cause most people just get extremely angry and don't cry unless they're new. In either case, you won sensitivity points


She's been here for a few months and has years of restaurant experience. But like I said, I think she was having a bad day. We talked alot afterwards and she was very grateful for me being there. We're going out for a Halloween party Saturday night (she's the St Pauli Girl on the beer label and I will be Clark Kent). Can't freakin' wait. And another hottie bartender is going with us as a French maid. I'm beginning to think I should be posting this in the "threesome" thread...

[Fabian]

I don't have Liefeldian man-boobs
If you did, you'd have a great sidegig at the local sideshow and people would pay to see those, and your pouches

[hulahulk]

And you just happened to be there for her, out of the goodness of your heart. Got it.

My heart, along with other body parts.

[Fabian]

She's been here for a few months and has years of restaurant experience. But like I said, I think she was having a bad day. We talked alot afterwards and she was very grateful for me being there. We're going out for a Halloween party Saturday night (she's the St Pauli Girl on the beer label and I will be Clark Kent). Can't freakin' wait. And another hottie bartender is going with us as a French maid. I'm beginning to think I should be posting this in the "threesome" thread...
. . .

I hate you. If you have sex, you can no longer complain about your restaurant on these boards

[JeffreyWKramer]

And another hottie bartender is going with us as a French maid. I'm beginning to think I should be posting this in the "threesome" thread...

Pictures from the party are demanded.

[hulahulk]

Pictures from the party are demanded.

Your wish is my command. I just happened to have bought a new digital camera too. Gotsta get me some action shots!!!!!

[hulahulk]

. . .

I hate you. If you have sex, you can no longer complain about your restaurant on these boards


Awwww can I at least complain about asswipe customers?

[K'Nort]

Actually, they are quite ample (C+). And they feel reeeeaaalllly good.

Anyhoo, the bartender was so upset (having a generally bad day and tired for having worked a double), she put her head on my shoulder and started crying. Apparently she had been dealing with these asswipes all day, and it started to get to her. Working all day and not making any cash.

So you responded by copping a feel?

[Dreadstar]

So you responded by copping a feel?



...


I like how your mind works.

[Slam_Bradley]

So you responded by copping a feel?


That's always been my default response.

[HomerJay]

Well it's so women who have A cups don't feel as bad for having small boobs and they don't join the nunnery while those who have been blessed with D cups don't become so conceited that you'd never have a chance with them
I'm shocked and saddened that this thread got derailed by a discussion of tits and I:
a) Wasn't the one who derailed it
or
b) Wasn't around to take part.

[JeffreyWKramer]

So you responded by copping a feel?

It's a way to make her feel wanted, I guess.

Ironic, your avatar + this discussion, K'Nort.

[JeffreyWKramer]

Wasn't around to take part.


Boob talk is always a good reason to do thread CPR.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

I'm shocked and saddened that this thread got derailed by a discussion of tits and I:
a) Wasn't the one who derailed it
or
b) Wasn't around to take part.

I, for one, was surprised your "boobie sense" didn't kick in a little quicker.

[HomerJay]

I, for one, was surprised your "boobie sense" didn't kick in a little quicker.
Maybe I had a momentary lapse of powers a la "Spider-Man 2".

I must say that K'Nort's avatar has me mesmerized each time I see it.

[hulahulk]

So you responded by copping a feel?


Well, she's the type of girl who is always rubbing up against me *or* there's something on her shirt and she'll let me wipe it off *or* she'll need reinforcement that she has lost weight and looks good.
Plus, her shirt is always coming untucked and very often she is undoing her pants right in front of me -- baring silky black thong -- to fix her wardrobe. Not to mention she is always talking about sex. If this is harrassment, then bring it on, baby!
Oh, did I mention the other bartender and her have hooked up in a heated lesbian one nighter? They are just friends now, but they have revved my engines with all of their girltalk. The St Pauli girl said that the other bartender is the only one who has ever given her an orgasm, male or female. They obviously trust me to a certain extent. Perhaps I need to exert my dominant Alpha male tendencies and get busy. Like I said earlier, perhaps this should be in the threesome thread.

[hulahulk]

...


I like how your mind works.

Actually, it was just a long and warm hug.

[howyadoin]

That makes them wonderful in their own special way.

They don't offer a whole lot to work with for breast bondage, though.I love the Itty Bitty Titty Club.

[Jeff Brady]

I love the Itty Bitty Titty Club.

Committee. Itty Bitty Titty Committee. Gosh, get it right!

[PatrickG]

Miller isn't a beer company anyway.

If it's not a stout, it's not a beer.

[howyadoin]

Committee. Itty Bitty Titty Committee. Gosh, get it right!I dunno, man. Committee sounds there'd be a lot of red tape and paperwork, and not enough focus on the important things.

[Corsair]

Well, she's the type of girl who is always rubbing up against me *or* there's something on her shirt and she'll let me wipe it off *or* she'll need reinforcement that she has lost weight and looks good.
Plus, her shirt is always coming untucked and very often she is undoing her pants right in front of me -- baring silky black thong -- to fix her wardrobe. Not to mention she is always talking about sex. If this is harrassment, then bring it on, baby!
Oh, did I mention the other bartender and her have hooked up in a heated lesbian one nighter? They are just friends now, but they have revved my engines with all of their girltalk. The St Pauli girl said that the other bartender is the only one who has ever given her an orgasm, male or female. They obviously trust me to a certain extent. Perhaps I need to exert my dominant Alpha male tendencies and get busy. Like I said earlier, perhaps this should be in the threesome thread.That, or they figure you're gay.

[thik_3rd]

"i drink olde english, can not stand miller"

[ghostrider666]

Now I'm spiteful so I wrote down all the names I got from their credit cards (which were all Miller Corporate ones) and am about to email the corporate offices with all their names and ask if that is how they want their employees to represent them

Well done. That's the correct way to handle A-holes like them.

[hulahulk]

That, or they figure you're gay.

They know that I'm not.

[hulahulk]

Committee. Itty Bitty Titty Committee. Gosh, get it right!



Hehe. Either way, let's get the IBTC meeting started. Call to order. Secretary Fabian will read the minutes of the last meeting....Treasurer Howyadoin will then go over IBTC's fundraising efforts for the last month....and Vice President Jeff Brady will then cover new agenda items, including boycotting Miller beer and seeking a sponsorship from St. Pauli Girl.

[K'Nort]

Hehe. Either way, let's get the IBTC meeting started. ....and Vice President Jeff Brady will then cover new agenda items, including seeking a sponsorship from St. Pauli Girl.

Are you sure they'd be appropriate?

http://www.willisms.com/archives/stpauli.gif

[hulahulk]

The girls got into an argument, apparently yesterday about how St Pauli Girl is, uhhh, using her's and French Maid's guy friends. They are not talking to each other. Thus no party. Thus no Hulahulk hedonism.


I'm soooooo pissed. Neither of them were "up" for festivities. I'm like, "Sooo, are we going out tonight after work or not?" Nope. They went their separate ways, without once considering that my needs are what's important here {bitter, sober sarcasm}, dammit. Sorry guys.:(

[howyadoin]

The girls got into an argument, apparently yesterday about how St Pauli Girl is, uhhh, using her's and French Maid's guy friends. They are not talking to each other. Thus no party. Thus no Hulahulk hedonism.


I'm soooooo pissed. Neither of them were "up" for festivities. I'm like, "Sooo, are we going out tonight after work or not?" Nope. They went their separate ways, without once considering that my needs are what's important here {bitter, sober sarcasm}, dammit. Sorry guys.:(Only solution is a sound spanking.

[hulahulk]

Only solution is a sound spanking.



Ohhhh, they're gonna get some, one way or another. Actually, I'm on French Maid's side, because St Pauli Girl has been acting a wee bit crazy and has been pissing people off. But I digress.