Lazy Writing

[StoneGold]

What the hell does this mean, anyways? It seems like the new catch phrase for "I don't like it, so here's a BS reason for me to confirm my superiority in not liking it."


Hell, seems like any time a story is actually plot-oriented, someone lambasts it for being lazy writing. Seems to me, all writing is lazy writing. If you were actually energetic, you'd be a lumberjack or something.

[Valmore]

What a crappy post. The writer must have been lazy.

[Michael P]

Well, to me, lazy writing is catalyzing some event with a plot device, rather than have it grow out of the natural actions of the characters.

[Taltos]

What a crappy post. The writer must have been lazy.
lmao, very nice post.

[StoneGold]

What a crappy post. The writer must have been lazy.
That's what I was saying. If I was energetic, I'd be a lumberjack.

http://homepage.mac.com/durf/ot-faces/images/lumberjack.jpg

[Michael P]

You're just makin' up for lost time, aren't ya?

[StoneGold]

You're just makin' up for lost time, aren't ya?
Yeah. Although come to think of it, last time there was a giant wooden penis posted, Cronin scrubbed it, despite the fact it was giant and wooden. Although this one at least doesn't look like it has the herpes.

[BlairH]

Stone...are giant woody penis pics really neccessary?

[atoningunifex]

Stone...are giant woody penis pics really neccessary?

Why yes, yes they are.

[BlairH]

Why yes, yes they are.
I choose to disbelieve that particular statement
Aye chuuze too diss-bee-leave that par-tick-yoo-lar state-ment

ROCK! I need scissors! SIXTY-ONE!

[StoneGold]

Why yes, yes they are.
Well, that's not quite true. They're like hot fudge on ice cream. You don't really need it, but it makes it that much better.


Would you believe that's the first thing that came up under lumberjack? Although I was hoping to get a picture of a lumberjack in lingerie, so really, either way.

[howyadoin]

Well, that's not quite true. They're like hot fudge on ice cream. You don't really need it, but it makes it that much better.Wooden penises make your life better? My condolences to Mrs. StoneGold, should there ever be one.

[StoneGold]

Wooden penises make your life better? My condolences to Mrs. StoneGold, should there ever be one.
There's a "banged your mom" line in there somewhere, but honestly, I'm too lazy to find it right now.

[estee]

Stone...are giant woody penis pics really neccessary?

This the strangest thing I have ever read even when taken in context...Out of context, I don't even want to think about it. :D

[StoneGold]

You know, I just took another look at the pic... I didn't notice the giant white smudge at the bottom. What with a lumberjack sitting on top of a phallus carved out of a log, really, it's understandable, but... man, I really don't want to know what the giant smudge is.

[Jeff Brady]

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day.

MOUNTIES:
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:
I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping
And has buttered scones for tea.

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Mama.

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!

[K'Nort]

You know, I just took another look at the pic... I didn't notice the giant white smudge at the bottom. What with a lumberjack sitting on top of a phallus carved out of a log, really, it's understandable, but... man, I really don't want to know what the giant smudge is.

Only you would hijack your own thread.

[StoneGold]

Only you would hijack your own thread.
The odd part is, it's because Valmore started to, and if this thread is going to go down in flames, it's going to be because of me.




That said, if someone else would like to defend their use of the term "lazy writing," I'd love to hear it.

[Grant]

The odd part is, it's because Valmore started to, and if this thread is going to go down in flames, it's going to be because of me.




That said, if someone else would like to defend their use of the term "lazy writing," I'd love to hear it.

Because the other kind is too hard. Plus good writers don't make money. Alan Moore lives in some shack in Northern England while Chuck Austen has a toilet seat made out of solid gold.

[K'Nort]

Well I've never used it.

A deus ex machina is usually lazy. That's the only good example I can think of. Well and blatant continuity errors. Like within the same issue. That's also lazy editing.

[Jeff Brady]

has a toilet seat made out of solid goal.

Heh. The toilet must be full of holes.

[howyadoin]

Well I've never used it.

A deus ex machina is usually lazy. That's the only good example I can think of. Well and blatant continuity errors. Like within the same issue. That's also lazy editing.Some writers tend to have every character talk like them. Or at least, talk the same. I'd say that's pretty lazy.

[MacQuarrie]

That said, if someone else would like to defend their use of the term "lazy writing," I'd love to hear it.
Lazy writing:

Inventing information about actual locations, machines, processes, or historic events rather than looking them up;

Resorting to plot-induced stupidity on the part of the heroes and/or villains in order to resolve a stalemate;

Arbitrarily giving the hero and/or villian a previously-unmentioned ability in order to make the ending come out the way the writer wishes;

Arbitrarily having any character do anything "just because", rather than giving them some logical motivation;

Relying on coincidence in order to advance or resolve the plot;

Having characters behave in a manner wildly different from their established personalities in order to advance or resolve the plot;

And so on. In a nutshell, if you can tell that the writer is phoning it in, it's lazy writing.

[howyadoin]

Inventing information about actual locations, machines, processes, or historic events rather than looking them up;Whenever anyone mentions that, I automatically think of the Hama/Silvestri Wolverine issue where they show Vancouver to be some backwoods frontier town.

http://www.daemery.com/images/Vancouver/02-06%20Vancouver%20DSC01864web.JPG


Arbitrarily having any character do anything "just because", rather than giving them some logical motivation;

Relying on coincidence in order to advance or resolve the plot;

Having characters behave in a manner wildly different from their established personalities in order to advance or resolve the plot;

And so on. In a nutshell, if you can tell that the writer is phoning it in, it's lazy writing.Sitcom writing, in other words.

[Grant]

Whenever anyone mentions that, I automatically think of the Hama/Silvestri Wolverine issue where they show Vancouver to be some backwoods frontier town.

http://www.daemery.com/images/Vancouver/02-06%20Vancouver%20DSC01864web.JPG


Well yeah. You people still use canoes as a mode of transport.

[howyadoin]

Well yeah. You people still use canoes as a mode of transport.I think that guy is paddling around with an inflatable doll.

[Grant]

I think that guy is paddling around with an inflatable doll.

To quote Dave Foley "Is this progress!?!"

[Tages]

Lazy Writing: see the "Fantastic Four" movie.


Reed Richards: "Doom is such a jerk."

Victor von Doom: "I'm such a jerk."

Sue Storm: "I'm dating a jerk for reasons that are never made clear or, for that matter, plausible."

Ben Grimm: "What's implausible is you, darling, playing a scientist."

Sue: "Oh! I broke a nail!"

Johnny Storm: "Look at how wacky and crazy I am! Woohoo!"

Richards: "It's ten minutes into the movie. That's enough background. Now, we're on the space station and...look! We're about to be hit with cosmic radiation! Strike a pose, everyone!"

*They are back on Earth with no explanation*

Reed, Sue and Ben: "We have powers and are miserable. Mope, mope, mope."

Johnny: "I, somehow, can get a helicopter to get to the top of the nearby ski area. Oh, look." *accident*

Doom: "I'm still such a jerk."

Richards: "I'm not buying you as a megalomaniac."

Doom: "Nonsense. Oh! I broke a nail!"

Johnny: "Is this guy going to kill us or pick out our wallpaper? Hey, where's Ben?"

Ben: "I am the mopiest. Oh well, this clumsily contrived and derivative ACTION SEQUENCE will make me feel better."

*Cars crash and EVIL, BLOODSUCKING REPORTERS show up, since action movies are never allowed to show reporters in a positive light*

Reporter: "Hey, superheroes! What do you plan on doing now?"

Reed, Sue and Ben: "Leave us alone, we have moping to catch up on. When we're done with that we might find a cure."

Johnny: "Screw that! Chicks and thrills! Woohoo!"

Ben: "Are you such a two-dimensional caricature of a person that you have to conform to these lame archetypes? You're like a 60-year-old screenwriter's idea of a whacky twentysomething daredevil."

Johnny: "Uh...woohoo?"

Reed: "Quiet, it's time for another awkward moment between Sue and I."

Sue: "Yes. Enough of these awkward moments and I might accept a marriage proposal from you."

Reed: "Really?"

Sue: "Hah, just kidding! Real relationships don't work like that. It'd be like some lazy writer's copout to avoid giving us any real character development that might take attention away from the special effects."

Reed: "Uh...OK?"

Doom: "Right now, the audience finds me about as threatening as a podiatrist in an IKEA parking lot wearing an angora sweater. So, as I cannot be bothered to do anything actually cool or devious, I will randomly murder an unimportant character."

Unimportant character: "I am dead!" *dies*

Doom: "That was fun. Now to do it again. Since I am an obvious rip-off of Norman Osborne from the first 'Spider-Man' movie, I will now murder another unimportant character, strangely similar to a scene also from that movie."

Unimportant Character 2: "Ow, my everything!"

Doom: "Now to drive a wedge between Ben Grimm and Reed Richards."

*Later, in a restaurant*

Doom: "It must be terrible for you. At least the others can go out in public."

Ben: "We're in a 24-hour restaurant sitting next to a window that can be viewed from the sidewalk. We're in public right now."

Doom: "Right. But let's pretend we're not."

Ben: "Damn you, Reed!"

*Ben and Reed fight, Ben stomps off in a huff*

Doom: "Wanna' be normal again?"

Ben: "I can't see why a guy who's been treating me for the past few months like the least pleasant of pimples on his backside wouldn't be trustworthy, and you should have no familiarity with the equipment at all unless you've been spying on us, but OK."

*Doom changes Ben back*

Doom: "Sucker!" *punches Ben, goes off to kill the other three*

*Ben dusts himself off*

Ben: "What have I done?"

*Ben changes himself back*

Ben: "Wait a minute, I'm not a scientist, how the hell did I operate that complicated bit of machinery designed by one of the world's foremost scientific geniuses?"

Screenwriter, holding up a giant Lotto-size check: "Uh...magic little elves?"

Ben: "Good enough for me. It's clobberin' time!"

*The Four beat Doom in an underwhelming and completely lame action sequence, compared to the operatic battles between good and evil in "Spider-Man 2" and "Batman Begins"*

Ben: "Since we are running out of screen time, now I love everyone again, my angst and bitter disappointment having magically vanished."

Reed: "Marry me, Sue."

Sue: "OK. It'll be a fun way to spend half an hour."

Johnny: "I'm the only character who didn't grow or change in any way at all! Woohoo!"

THE END

[howyadoin]

That was beautiful.

[Tages]

That was beautiful.
Thank you. Much of that is taken from what I and my friends were actually yelling at the screen while the movie was playing (we were at a drive-thru). From now on, if anyone wants an example of lazy writing, I'm going to tell them to watch "Fantastic Four." The entire thing is one lazy turd squatted onto the cineplex screen over the course of two grueling hours*.

Some other things I consider lazy writing:

-Pop culture references intended as jokes in and of themselves. Like on "Family Guy" when He-Man shows up for the sake of showing up, without actually doing anything funny. These take almost no imagination.

-Killing characters off as an easy way out. "Oh, he's gone through this great personal crisis and...heart attack!"

-Inconsistency in writing. So, one Imperiex drone is enough to solo Hyppolyta in "Our Worlds at War" and kill her upon exploding, but Superman can just drill kick through one without a scratch? And Flash can run (and breathe) in space now? No. Just...no.

-Explaining things that don't need explanation just to exploit them for story material. This is tricky, but sometimes plots just shouldn't be tried. Like on "The Simpsons" when the Simpson Gene is used to explain why Homer and Bart, and apparently all other male Simpsons, are unsuccessful. Uh, OK, so how do you explain Homer's half-brother being a self-made millionaire? Bart and Homer didn't need a reason to be themselves.

-Character quirks subsituted for character development. So, Character X smokes? OK...cool. Move on. Character Y likes his coffee black? That's great, but it doesn't tell us anything about him.

-Saying that someone is smart when they don't actually do or say anything smart.

Those are a few of the things that get under my skin I would classify as lazy writing.


*And before anyone says "You just didn't like it because it wasn't faithful to the comic." I don't care if comic book movies are faithful to the source material; if I want the comic, I can read it. I liked "Daredevil" and "The Hulk." The movie just has to be good on its own.

And if the "Fantastic Four" comic had never existed, the movie would still be a piece of shit.

[Paul McEnery]

The odd part is, it's because Valmore started to, and if this thread is going to go down in flames, it's going to be because of me.




That said, if someone else would like to defend their use of the term "lazy writing," I'd love to hear it.
I would love to...

Hey, I just said wood!

[Wesley Dodds]

Well, when I think of lazy writing, I think of Orwell:

A scrupulous writer, in every sentence that he writes, will ask himself at least four questions, thus:

1. What am I trying to say?
2. What words will express it?
3. What image or idiom will make it clearer?
4. Is this image fresh enough to have an effect?

And he will probably ask himself two more:

1. Could I put it more shortly?
2. Have I said anything that is avoidably ugly?

But you are not obliged to go to all this trouble. You can shirk it by simply throwing your mind open and letting the ready-made phrases come crowding in. The will construct your sentences for you -- even think your thoughts for you, to a certain extent -- and at need they will perform the important service of partially concealing your meaning even from yourself.

[Shellhead]

...Chuck Austen has a toilet seat made out of solid gold.

Every writer needs a muse.

[king mob]

Alan Moore lives in some shack in Northern England


He has a castle in Northamptonshire (which is in the midlands, also known as the land time forgot) with the real grave of Princess Diana in his back garden.

[west3man]

That was beautiful.
It damned-sure was.

[west3man]

Whenever two characters fall madly in-love, for no apparent reason, I consider that to be lazy writing. I wanna know WHY Dude X is so much more desirable to you than Dude Y. I think that's less necessary if you don't read or watch as many stories and shows as I do. But after a while, every fictional relationship looks the same. To make one appear to be substantive and to make me give the slightest damn about the FUTURE of this relationship or the people IN IT... I need more.