thomas_catbiscuit
10-06-2005, 03:35 AM
Just thought i'd brighten peoples day up with a few jokes:
What is the difference between medium and rare ?
Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
What's a mixed feeling ?
When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
What's the height of conceit ?
Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
What's the definition of macho ?
Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
Why do Irish men wear two condoms ?
To be sure, to be sure.
What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball ?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
What do tupperware and a walrus have in common ?
They both like a tight seal.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common ?
Their balls are just for decoration.
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers ?
Well hung.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife ?
2 stone.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband ?
45 minutes.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ?
Breasts don't have eyes.
If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love
Swallow.
Why do most women pay more attention to their apperance than improving their mind ?
Because most men are stupid and few are blind.
Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning ?
They don't have balls to scratch.
What is the difference between medium and rare ?
Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
What's a mixed feeling ?
When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
What's the height of conceit ?
Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
What's the definition of macho ?
Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
Why do Irish men wear two condoms ?
To be sure, to be sure.
What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball ?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
What do tupperware and a walrus have in common ?
They both like a tight seal.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common ?
Their balls are just for decoration.
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers ?
Well hung.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife ?
2 stone.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband ?
45 minutes.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ?
Breasts don't have eyes.
If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love
Swallow.
Why do most women pay more attention to their apperance than improving their mind ?
Because most men are stupid and few are blind.
Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning ?
They don't have balls to scratch.