Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Expecting [Archive]

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west3man

10-05-2005, 04:07 PM

News to me. Maybe it's news to you.

http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/movies/article.adp?id=20051005161709990003

"Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Expecting

NEW YORK (Oct. 5) - Movie star Tom Cruise and his fiancee, actress Katie Holmes, are expecting a baby six months into a whirlwind romance that has turned the once intensely private Cruise into a giddy and very public lover.

News of the pregnancy was first reported by People magazine Wednesday. A statement from Cruise's publicist, his sister Lee Anne DeVette, added: "Tom and Katie are very excited, and the entire family is very excited." Holmes, she said, "has never felt better."
"

Michael P

10-05-2005, 04:08 PM

This relationship gets creepier and creepier...

JeffreyWKramer

10-05-2005, 04:09 PM

It's Tom Cruise. The only way it could get creepier is if they named Michael Jackson as the kid's godparent.

RickThunderclees

10-05-2005, 04:10 PM

OMG OMG OMG OMG...I will be reading EVERY tabloid, every US weekly, and every People magazine that has pictures of preggers katie and father Tom!!!! I am SO excited, hopefully i can score premiere tickets for the big B-day! WooHoo!

StoneGold

10-05-2005, 04:14 PM

Wait, I thought she was a virgin? Couldn't hold on till marriage at this point?

Deathstroke

10-05-2005, 04:16 PM

Not that I think it will affect her life in the slightest, but this takes her off my CILF list forevermore.

Michael P

10-05-2005, 04:17 PM

I'd be willing to take her on the rebound, but yeah, the notion that she's accepted Tom's man-seed definitely hurts her case.

JeffreyWKramer

10-05-2005, 04:18 PM

I'd be willing to take her on the rebound, but yeah, the notion that she's accepted Tom's man-seed definitely hurts her case.

I dunno, I'd still gladly bang Nicole. But then, she was sane enough to get away from the guy.

Michael P

10-05-2005, 04:20 PM

I dunno, I'd still gladly bang Nicole.
Ditto. Redhead, foreign accent, older woman... it's like a fetish trifecta.

Shellhead

10-05-2005, 04:21 PM

I dunno, I'd still gladly bang Nicole. But then, she was sane enough to get away from the guy.

After, what, twelve years of marriage? That doesn't leave her lots of sanity left. I laughed when I read that recent Onion headline about her going berserk and attacking four members of her entourage.

When I read the headline to this thread, I wasn't completely sure *what* Tom and Katie were "expecting." Usually, that word would suggest a baby, but in their case, who knows what weirdness they expect?

Michael P

10-05-2005, 04:22 PM

I bet Jessica Alba's heaving a great sigh of relief at having dodged this bullet.

west3man

10-05-2005, 04:27 PM

I dunno, I'd still gladly bang Nicole.The Bewitched-eyebrow model or the pre-work-done model?

Shellhead

10-05-2005, 04:29 PM

I bet Jessica Alba's heaving a great sigh of relief at having dodged this bullet.

I thought it was Scarlet Johansson that ducked this bullet, since Tom was trying to put the scientology moves on her before he met Katie.

Michael P

10-05-2005, 04:29 PM

I thought it was Scarlet Johansson that ducked this bullet, since Tom was trying to put the scientology moves on her before he met Katie.
I heard both.

bfrank

10-05-2005, 04:29 PM

Nicole's a bit of a freak, I bet...You know Lenny had her doin' some way out shit...not to mention 'tip....

Deathstroke

10-05-2005, 04:33 PM

I bet Jessica Alba's heaving a great sigh of relief at having dodged this bullet.

Pun intended?

Deathstroke

10-05-2005, 04:33 PM

I heard both.

Yep it was both that dodged the Cruise bullet in both manners of the phrase.

riotgear

10-05-2005, 04:35 PM

It's Tom Cruise. The only way it could get creepier is if they named Michael Jackson as the kid's godparent.

I notice you didn't refer to Jackson as god"father". :D

And yes it can get creepier. Watch, they'll name L. Ron Hubbard as the godfather. :eek:

And, yes, I know he's dead. That's kind of my point. :rolleyes:

I've never had someone go from attractive to repulsive so fast (Katie). It actually made my stomach turn.

Michael P

10-05-2005, 04:37 PM

Pun intended?
Nah, just a thought I enjoy.

JeffreyWKramer

10-05-2005, 05:04 PM

The Bewitched-eyebrow model or the pre-work-done model?
Old school

Michael P

10-05-2005, 05:05 PM

I wouldn't be looking at her face, so it's all good.

Special K

10-05-2005, 05:22 PM

wow, I have to agree though, wasn't she supposed to remain a virgin til marriage? Not that it will make the world end if she doesn't, but how can we trust her after this display?! I think Tom's wooed her into breaking her celibacy, he's the one to blame! Now she has to put up with 8+ months of pregnancy for his sick games... alien freak...

I'm just kidding. I don't give a rat's ass, but I am amused :p

Arrjay

10-05-2005, 05:27 PM

I thought it was a pre-requisite as a Dawson's Creek actress/actor that you never ever had actual sex. Cause, y'know, life's all about the emotional turmoils that happen before sex. Once you do the nasty all that emo shit is gone. Katie Holmes should have lost her virginity to Michael Pullmann. He'd defintiely work as a Dawson's Creek stand-in. ;)

Riddley Walker

10-05-2005, 05:44 PM

Riddley's First Axiom:

The longer and louder any celebrity or celebrity couple publicly declares their love, the sooner they will split up, permanently. Exception to the rule: Lennon and Ono.

Corollary number one: The longer and louder any political figure declares his or her undying patriotism, the likelier they are to have their hand in your pocket. Exceptions include many of our founding parents.

Corollary number two: The more fervently a public figure declares his or her deep commitment to religion or conventional morality, the more likely that he or she has serious uglies in the closet. Bill Bennett, my nominee for the jerk of the 21st century comes to mind, among many others. Exception: Billy Graham.

SUPERECWFAN1

10-05-2005, 05:52 PM

AYa know...I'm happy for Tom. Its been said that he's wanted a kid for a lotta years and that he never could have one with Nicole Kidman. So I know he acts goofy at times with his whole romance and all. But in the end...I'm pretty happy for Tom.

Tages

10-05-2005, 06:13 PM

Isn't this a classic love story? Nice devoutly Catholic girl meets closet homosexual Scientologist whackjob lunatic, girl gets pregnant, so on and so forth, and it all ends happily ever after with a divorce, a celebrity overdose and a made-for-TV movie starring Lou Diamond Phillips.

Another heartwarming story.

Atomic Mongoose

10-05-2005, 06:27 PM

Brad Curran

10-05-2005, 06:37 PM

StoneGold

10-05-2005, 06:48 PM

I can just picture the baby now...

http://www.herryca.com/clipartspic/baby-gun.jpg

PatrickG

10-05-2005, 06:53 PM

StoneGold

10-05-2005, 06:55 PM

What? No pic, SG? Slipping in your old age?

Congratulations should go out to Tom Cruise on at last having sex with a woman!

I'm sure Nicole, if she is upset, is just jealous that she didn't nail Tom first.
The pic isn't showing for you? It's up on mine. Here, try the link.

http://www.herryca.com/clipartspic/baby-gun.jpg
http://www.herryca.com/clipartspic/baby-gun.jpg

Asmith

10-05-2005, 11:41 PM

Well since it's pretty much common knowledge that Tom shoots blanks (the dead give-away was Nicole saying: "he does not shoot blanks, we're only adopting kids becauas we've got so much love to give!") the real question over the pregency is who is really the father of the once devoute celibate Katie Holmes' child???

I'm picturing a kind of Scientology inner-circle impregnation ceremony with lots of chanting, Katie lying atop an alter, and a bunch of old guys in robes having a turn. The end result being the second coming of L. Ron Hubbard, because if Tom shoots blanks and Katie's celibate then this is a Virgin Birth!

Royal

10-05-2005, 11:57 PM

I'm picturing a kind of Scientology inner-circle impregnation ceremony with lots of chanting, Katie lying atop an alter, and a bunch of old guys in robes having a turn. The end result being the second coming of L. Ron Hubbard, because if Tom shoots blanks and Katie's celibate then this is a Virgin Birth!

Whoa! Total Rosemary's Baby image going on.

ick. ick.

Dan Apodaca

10-06-2005, 12:17 AM

Exception: Billy Graham.

I guess being a greedy bastard doesn't count as a secret in the closet.

TitoJones

10-06-2005, 12:21 AM

PatrickG

10-06-2005, 01:18 AM

Am I the only one who thinks Tom Cruise JUST lost his virginity?

Dan Apodaca

10-06-2005, 01:21 AM

Am I the only one who thinks Tom Cruise JUST lost his virginity?

I'm thinking she let him do something that Nicole Kidman wouldn't.

Anal? Bondage? Viagra?

The dog?

Hiromi

10-06-2005, 02:01 AM

I wonder if they're Scientologists belief that medication is evil will extend to childbirth...

Cause I bet Katie's gonna have one helluva fun time delivering au natural

Sentry

10-06-2005, 04:49 AM

this is gross, the worst news i have heard all year. SAVE TOM!

atoningunifex

10-06-2005, 04:54 AM

I would imagine that becoming pregnant was well spelled out in the contract Miss Holmes signed before agreeing to become the Princess Consort to Queen Tom the Mad.

As such, I congratulate Miss Holmes on her professional dedication and caution her to tell Queen Tom the Mad that the postpartum depression meds are actually vitamins.

Typo Lad

10-06-2005, 06:44 AM

As such, I congratulate Miss Holmes on her professional dedication and caution her to tell Queen Tom the Mad that the postpartum depression meds are actually vitamins.

It would be so interesting if she had Post Partum...not that I'd wish that on anyone...

Arrjay

10-06-2005, 06:47 AM

It would be so interesting if she had Post Partum...not that I'd wish that on anyone...

Hell, I wouldn't wish that on anyone either but I'd pay cash to see it happen in this relationship. Just to make Tom Cruise look even more like a dickhead.

Mike Smith

10-06-2005, 07:01 AM

Now he is going to rape Oprahs couch.

StoneGold

10-06-2005, 07:02 AM

Now he is going to rape Oprahs couch.
I doubt it. Now he's got it out all out of his system. For once, Tom Cruise is probably a calm, relaxed individual.

atoningunifex

10-06-2005, 07:05 AM

I'm actually expecting them to announce that the baby was conceived backstage at the Oprah show.

JeffreyWKramer

10-06-2005, 07:16 AM

I'm thinking she let him do something that Nicole Kidman wouldn't.

Anal? Bondage? Viagra?

Given what I observed of Tom and Nicole's communication, and some rumors from the celeb and BDSM communities, I'm pretty sure Tom and Nicole were pretty familiar with bondage, but with Tom being the one tied up. Anal? Well, some strap-on action for Tom, maybe.

She was clearly the Dominant one in that relationship, and I suspect a lot of what resulted in the break-up was her being unwilling to accept that the Scientology folk had more control over him than she did.

Arrjay

10-06-2005, 07:53 AM

I'm actually expecting them to announce that the baby was conceived backstage at the Oprah show.

Y'know, we don't have cable at our place so my wife and I totally missed the Oprah episode in question. Even if we had cable we probably would've missed it anyway being that neither of us watch talk shows very often. I was wondering if there is a way to get this episode anywhere? I really want to see Tom Cruise acting totally nuts. Anyone know where I can see it?

west3man

10-06-2005, 08:00 AM

Y'know, we don't have cable at our place so my wife and I totally missed the Oprah episode in question. Even if we had cable we probably would've missed it anyway being that neither of us watch talk shows very often. I was wondering if there is a way to get this episode anywhere? I really want to see Tom Cruise acting totally nuts. Anyone know where I can see it?
There were clips around the 'net, for a while. At least one was linked to in a CBR thread, but the link seems to be dead: http://static.ytmnd.com:8000/78000/78874/image.gif

It wasn't a video of the show, but it showed Tom's behavior (maybe with special effects added), but it would've been better than nothing - in case you find nothing else. (I shared the "dead" link in case someone more tech-savvy knows how to get it to work.)

Riddley Walker

10-06-2005, 02:59 PM

I guess being a greedy bastard doesn't count as a secret in the closet.

...what, exactly?

ACK!

10-06-2005, 03:34 PM

Another scientologist is in the gestation chamber...be afraid. Be very afraid.

orcafresh

10-06-2005, 03:36 PM

All I can say is, "That poor woman's vagina." :(

K'Nort

10-06-2005, 04:00 PM

...what, exactly?

The idea of Tom Cruise being gay has been around more than long enough for people to throw it out there without challenge.

Riddley Walker

10-06-2005, 04:47 PM

The idea of Tom Cruise being gay has been around more than long enough for people to throw it out there without challenge.

This wasn't in reference to that. See quoted material.

i_mmmchocolate

10-06-2005, 04:55 PM

This relationship gets creepier and creepier...

That's the word that popped into my mind when I read this thread and heard this on the news.

Creepy.

I thought he was asexual or something. This--without a doubt-- is the most shocking celeb news I've heard lately.

Rabid Trekkie

10-06-2005, 07:19 PM

Good for them. This way now when they break up they can fight over the kid like a good Hollyweird couple.

I'm thinking that the kid will have a middle name of Hubbard or Ronnie and that the actual father is John Travolta.

FunkyGreenJerusalem

10-07-2005, 02:20 AM

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Katie probably wasn't a virgin to begin with. It was probably some BS her "people" came up with to get her back in People, or any of those other celeb magazines.

I could've sworn years ago in my teens I read an interview with her just after the 2nd Dawsons Creek sereis started where she strongly hinted, without saying, that she had an affair with the dude who played Pacey.
I was always assumed she lost it then.

and that the actual father is John Travolta.

Then I hope she thinks her career is worth it.

Could you imagine haveing to have a chin that big coming out of you?

GabrielleWP

10-07-2005, 04:35 AM

I seriously hope that Katie Holmes develops severe depression after the birth. Lets see how far vitamins and excercise help that Xenu ET skittle eatin FOD (friend of Dorthy).

Grant

10-07-2005, 05:07 AM

I heard both.

Add Kate Bosworth to the list.

And me. It was really an awkward meeting. But the flowers were nice.

Guapo Méndez

10-07-2005, 08:39 AM

I seriously hope that Katie Holmes develops severe depression after the birth. Lets see how far vitamins and excercise help that Xenu ET skittle eatin FOD (friend of Dorthy).

I seriously hope she carries a healthy child to full term and the baby is born without any complications.

And that afterwards both of them are in fine health.

Mike Smith

10-07-2005, 09:24 AM

Here is a link for the Oprah interview...

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2672779

GabrielleWP

10-07-2005, 01:15 PM

I'm sorry but Karma can bite you in the ass every time. It would serve Tom right to have to go thru that when he put down Brooke Shields and other women for needing medical help after the birth of their babies. She shouldn't have taken Paxil to keep from wanting to kill herself and her baby, she should've tried vitamins and excercise. And psychology is a nazi science and people should not seek help for mental problems. He claims that Carl Jung was a Nazi and that the drug methadone was originally called “Adolfine” in tribute to Hitler. Wrong, and wrong. Thats like saying Nixon was a midget with a lisp from Alaska who wore ladies dresses and took a horse and carriage to the white house every day.

In my opinion, its just sad that someone who thinks L Ron Hubbard is God, a man I might add who says he was awarded medals which do not actually exist, boasts academic qualifications that Hubbard did not earn, and places Hubbard in command of vessels that were not in the service of the US Navy. The Navy has noted that "several inconsistencies exist between Mr. Hubbard's [purported] DD214 and the available facts."
His wife filed for divorce in late 1950, citing the fact that Hubbard was, unknown to her, still married to his first wife at the time he married Sara. Her divorce papers also accused Hubbard of kidnapping their baby daughter Alexis, and of conducting "systematic torture, beatings, strangulations and scientific torture experiments."

As a zealous member of scientology Cruise also believes :
the story of Xenu, the galactic tyrant who first kidnapped certain individuals who were deemed as 'excess population' and loaded these individuals into space planes for transport to the site of extermination, the planet of Teegeeack (Earth). These space planes were supposedly exact copies of Douglas DC-8s. He then stacked hundreds of billions of these frozen victims around Earth's volcanoes 75 million years ago before blowing them up with hydrogen bombs and brainwashing them with a "three-D, super colossal motion picture" for 36 days. The traumatised thetans subsequently clustered around human bodies, in effect acting as invisible spiritual parasites known as "Body Thetans" that can only be removed using advanced Scientology techniques. Xenu is allegedly imprisoned in a mountain and kept in by a force-field powered by an eternal battery.

I say again:
**coughcrazycough**

Since he's never got thru life with a wife or partner 24/7 whose pregnant until he starts running his lip, I see it as Karma.

GWP

Michael P

10-07-2005, 01:25 PM

Karma for her to suffer because he's a dick?

StoneGold

10-07-2005, 01:28 PM

I hope she gives birth to this.

http://www.medialunchbox.com/pics/fatbaby.jpg

Just because how awesome would the papparazi crush be to get the first pic of Tom and Katie's mutant gigantobaby?

Grant

10-07-2005, 01:29 PM

Well at least the Church of Scientology isn't forcing her to have an abortion.

Davideaux

10-07-2005, 01:31 PM

As long as Cruisie keeps making movies, I'm pleased.

StoneGold

10-07-2005, 01:34 PM

As long as Cruisie keeps making movies, I'm pleased.
Maybe he can make a movie with Katie. They can do a Smurfs movie or something. THat would be a bad joke about height, and the lack thereof.

Davideaux

10-07-2005, 01:36 PM

Maybe he can make a movie with Katie. They can do a Smurfs movie or something. THat would be a bad joke about height, and the lack thereof.

Katie's too ugly to be Azrael.

Rabid Trekkie

10-07-2005, 01:40 PM

As long as Cruisie keeps making movies, I'm pleased.

I'm thinking his next movie will probably be a remake of Battlefield Earth.

ACK!

10-07-2005, 03:21 PM

Well at least the Church of Scientology isn't forcing her to have an abortion.

Of course they're not. They'll get their clutches on him/her when the age is right and Daddy Cruise will be filling their heads with propaganda in their early years.

Magneto_X

10-07-2005, 03:33 PM

Of course they're not. They'll get their clutches on him/her when the age is right and Daddy Cruise will be filling their heads with propaganda in their early years.

This kid is going to be incredibly screwed up.

Possibly even more than Michael Jackson's!