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View Full Version : Do Kids Get Pushed Too Far ?


SUPERECWFAN1
10-05-2005, 02:46 PM
This is about kids being pushed to hard to be Sports Icons. In the past some parents have really started pushing thier children to be breakout stars eithor in the NBA, Golf , NFL or MLB.

The parents can't take most losses well. If thier child gets cut or they handle a loss the parents have been known to react bad at times. My old HS Football Coach told me a story where a parent one time threatened him to have a winning season while his son played or else. The Coach remained cool and told the father: " If you threaten me again your son will be cut. Got that clear ? Good now sit down and stop emberessing yourself."

Right now lets examine a few sport players and whethor thier parents may have pushed them.


The Todd Marinovich Story: No player had more raw talent and a Gun than Todd Marinovich. The man was freakin built from the day he was 6 years old to be a QB by his father.

But his father was less than human at times and allowed Todd few friends. He also pushed Todd to pass for hours and hours on end. Then Todd was kept on a non-fat diet and it was almost humerous. The Coach of his College team nearly choked when Todd said that he had never ate at McDonalds. A man , 18 yearsold , never eating at a McDonalds ?

Todd was drafted in the 1st rd of the 1991 NFL Draft. Everyone felt he was a STAR on the rise. But what happened ? Todd finally wanted his freedom from his over controlling father and when he did he broke loose into booze , drugs and other problems.

Marinovich told on HBO he never felt he had a childhood due to his father's relentless pushing. That he really had no idea how to communicate with people outside football and it hurt him.


Tiger Woods : Of course not every story ends up as bad as Marinovich's. Tiger Woods story is drasticlly different. Same pushy father who put golf clubs in his hands at a young age. Same dad who wanted his son to win.

The results was that Tiger seems well adjusted as a young man and became a success at what his father groomed him for. Its rarely a son becomes way better than his father but it happened.


Right now the Mannings of the NFL have gotten all the press. Archie Manning himself has claimed he never pushed his sons towards the NFL. That they saw what he did growing up and wanted it on thier own.

Is that an approach that works ? Roger Clemens oldest son was drafted by the Housten Astro's recently. Clemens claims he has slightly prodded his son to be a pitcher due to the fact that his son has a 90 MPH Fastball and started a few HS games where he pitched no hitters.

Clemens son however wants to be a HR hitter and thats where he's playing for.


So in the end....is it alright for parents to influence thier kids and push them towards sport success ? Or is it wrong on certain levels and the parents should let the kids want it ?

FearsomeFlyingGlove
10-05-2005, 04:20 PM
It would certainly explain the behavior I've seen from several parents during school sports events. I've had to break up more than one fight that a parent started because the referee made a call against one of their darlings. I've heard that Little League is much, much worse.

Bloopinator
10-05-2005, 04:28 PM
My parents never pushed me into sports I just learned to like them on my own. But my father did try to push me into music...band sucked.

SUPERECWFAN1
10-05-2005, 05:48 PM
I was watching something on A & E where a group of parents had pushed thier kids into sports. One mother was so bad she had her little girl ice skating at 5am before school each day.

It showed them riding into the city as the little girl realized that practice had been cancelled and she was happy. She wanted to go to a mall and look at clothes. Her mother in a total ignoring her , decided to call around to find another rink to have practice or trials as they call it.

She even wanted to turn around and drive 30 minutes back to go watch some trials and have her kid practice. Its clear the mom ignored her kid and its sad. It made me wonder why some parents would push and shove thier children so hard , when they cleary speak up and say no.

StoneGold
10-05-2005, 05:53 PM
They pushed him one step too far...

http://ericstocklin.com/cuba/images/baby-gun.jpg


NO MORE FIGURE SKATING!!!!

heretic
10-06-2005, 01:32 AM
I was watching something on A & E where a group of parents had pushed thier kids into sports. One mother was so bad she had her little girl ice skating at 5am before school each day.

It showed them riding into the city as the little girl realized that practice had been cancelled and she was happy. She wanted to go to a mall and look at clothes. Her mother in a total ignoring her , decided to call around to find another rink to have practice or trials as they call it.

She even wanted to turn around and drive 30 minutes back to go watch some trials and have her kid practice. Its clear the mom ignored her kid and its sad. It made me wonder why some parents would push and shove thier children so hard , when they cleary speak up and say no.
....

I am certain Dr. Kramer can cite the precise terms for this degree of psychological dysfunction.

I just call it abuse and justification for terminating parental rights.

HTG (hoping the kid _merely_ hates the sight of frozen ponds/rinks for the rest of her life)

clayholio
10-06-2005, 12:33 PM
Some kids get pushed too far, sure. I don't think that competition is a bad thing at all, but I think that kids will excel at something if they're interested and enjoy it. If you really enjoy what you're doing, you'll probably push yourself as hard as you can to truly excel at it.

That said, I think that every parent that screams at their kid during a little league game should be punched somewhere painful. It's not the World Series, it's an extra-curricular activity. If you wouldn't watch your kid do his math homework and scream your fool head off every time he gets a math problem wrong, why is it suddenly okay to do just because there's a sport involved?

Dom
10-06-2005, 12:55 PM
My father used to push me at football. He never really forced me, but he knew I wouldn't stick with it unless I was pushed a little.

That, and he like the cheerleaders.

K'Nort
10-06-2005, 02:56 PM
There are some parents who definitely go overboard. And I figure it's a combination of vicariously gratifying their own egos and wanting to be able to retire rich and early. They are bad people.

But they are a minority. The media gives them a lot of attention, but you don't encounter them too much in real life.

SUPERECWFAN1
10-06-2005, 04:14 PM
....

I am certain Dr. Kramer can cite the precise terms for this degree of psychological dysfunction.

I just call it abuse and justification for terminating parental rights.

HTG (hoping the kid _merely_ hates the sight of frozen ponds/rinks for the rest of her life)


A teen-age girl who is now 19 or 20 was on the same show. She herself started figure skating at I believe 5 or 6. Her mother never realized that she was going to overboard.

One practice became 2. Then 2 a week became 3 and then 4 ! Coaches were changed and the mother started to push more and more. She started to really drive her daughter not realizing that what had started out as a small kids hobby had became a focal point in her childs life.

When the girl was 15 and after countless contests won and all , the girl finally cracked. The coach called her mother and reported that the daughter had quit and walked.

She ended up quitting because her mother was pushing too much. And after years an years of mentally hating skating it finally happened. She said she hasn't looked at a rink and doesn't want to ever again. That she told her mother she would never skate again and her mother slowly accepted it.

The mother felt more shame than anyone for what she had done.

cable guy
10-06-2005, 07:50 PM
As a parent of 3, and with one child in sports already, I can say through first hand experience, that youth sports is out of control.

i really don't know where to start. Crazy win driven coaches, Insane pushing parents(and watch out when these two clash :eek: ). Time involved year round. Starting kids at 3 and 4 years old!?!

That is all my younger brother and sister in-law do is play soccer year round. They play about 15 seasons year round. Seasons within seasons, that lead to tournament that lead to more tournaments. Indoor, Outdoor leagues. Playing 11:00 at night. And listen to this, my brother in law almost did not make the JV soccer team in highschool, because he missed a week of practice because of vacation. My mother in law was devastated, "What if he doesn't make the team" , his soccer career is over". As insane as they are, I actually felt bad. But common, "Career".

I later said to my wife, "the boys are definitely playing football now" :D

Corrina
10-06-2005, 08:24 PM
I think the difference between Tiger Woods and Todd Marinovich might simply be that Todd's father was his only parent, while Tiger had both parents.

This also might hold true for the Williams sisters, whose father drove them but whose mother seems to have provided a strong influence on other matters. A success story there, too.

Interesting, in that I think Earl Woods and the senior Williams both were divorced after their children were grown.