Batman vs God, Allah, Zeus, Odin, Buddah, and Jesus

[Bloopinator]

Batman has three months prep time, all the technology in the world, and has all of his sidekicks. Lets see what the fanboys say today.....

[darkkeeperjr]

For Bats to tske them all on he needs 2 years prep time. Unless he takes them one at a time then he only needs one. :p

[The Lucky One]

Well, there is that whole nasty omnipotence thing...
:rolleyes:

"I am told that you will name your price."
"That I may name my price, or that I will?"
"Will."
"You know, you'd think part of omnipotence would be knowing when to quit."

-D

[darkkeeperjr]

[QUOTE=The Lucky One]Well, there is that whole nasty omnipotence thing...
:rolleyes:
yeah but if bats has 2 years prep he "may" overcome his foes. :cool:

[stealthwise]

Well, there is that whole nasty omnipotence thing...
:rolleyes:

"I am told that you will name your price."
"That I may name my price, or that I will?"
"Will."
"You know, you'd think part of omnipotence would be knowing when to quit."

-D

Always nice to see a Lucifer quote out of context. :)

[Chad G.]

Well, there is that whole nasty omnipotence thing...
:rolleyes:



For Batman? I see your point. ;)

[CaptMagellan]

Depends. Batman of a couple years ago would be able to take them down.

Batman now would come really close but his plans would end up backfiring due to a stupid oversight every reader can spot ahead of time and cause more worshippers and power to flow to those gods, leading to self-doubts, hatred from the other heroes, and endless mini-series around the "Polytheism Crisis."

[Bloopinator]

lol "Polytheism Crisis". You guys handled this much better than the people on IMDb.

[1HELLBOY]

Even if it's just for fun, this is ridiculous.

[Chad G.]

Even if it's just for fun, this is ridiculous.

I agree. This just strikes me as another disturbing example of Batman bashing that seems to be rampant right now.

[Sean Whitmore]

I agree. This just strikes me as another disturbing example of Batman bashing that seems to be rampant right now.


That's just cause you know Buddah would totally win. :p


SEAN

[Forsaken_One]

Wow, I've never met a passive-aggresive message board poster before. How very unique. What the hell, I'll play.

Let's see. God (assuming you mean the Judeo/Christian god) is omnipotent and omniscient, so Batman wouldn't even have a chance. All knowing and all powerful = not ever going to lose. Same with Allah.

Zeus has been tricked by mortals many times, so Batman'd probably do okay. Especially if we're up against the DCU Zeus, who's a bit of a pansy.

Odin is much the same. Batman wouldn't be able to kill him, only Ragnaros can do that, but again they're gods in the polytheistic sense and thus can be tricked/overcome by mortals in various ways.

Buddah probably wouldn't even have a conflict.

And Jesus was a freaking son of a carpenter who created a cult. Sure he's ripped from all that walking but he'd go down in no time, especially if he was doing it for our sins. :)

[Chad G.]

Wow, I've never met a passive-aggresive message board poster before.

Me?


?

[Bloopinator]

I agree. This just strikes me as another disturbing example of Batman bashing that seems to be rampant right now.

I actually got this idea from this guy saying even if Batman went against all these guys God,Allah, Zues etc some fanboy will say with prep time Batman could beat them. I wanted to see if it was true

[Chad G.]

I actually got this idea from this guy saying even if Batman went against all these guys God,Allah, Zues etc some fanboy will say with prep time Batman could beat them. I wanted to see if it was true

I see what you mean. But all those guys you're talking about sort of illustrate my point. There is a growing anti-Batman sentiment on the boards, and to be frank, it alarms me.

[Forsaken_One]

I see what you mean. But all those guys you're talking about sort of illustrate my point. There is a growing anti-Batman sentiment on the boards, and to be frank, it alarms me.
Because... DC would follow what a bunch of whiny Internet users think?

[Chad G.]

Because... DC would follow what a bunch of whiny Internet users think?

Elaborate please. I don't follow your point.

[colossus34]

I agree. This just strikes me as another disturbing example of Batman bashing that seems to be rampant right now.


Agreed! C'mon guys, whats with the bat bashing? This thread is totally mindless! :mad:

[Forsaken_One]

Elaborate please. I don't follow your point.
I'm wondering why you're alarmed that an increasing number of internet users don't like Batman as much. Unless these users are also editors or writers of the Batman comics it doesn't seem like it'll make much difference, so it's not much to be alarmed about.

[Chad G.]

I'm wondering why you're alarmed that an increasing number of internet users don't like Batman as much. Unless these users are also editors or writers of the Batman comics it doesn't seem like it'll make much difference, so it's not much to be alarmed about.

No offense, but in this case it's conversation. I'm attempting to take the temperature of the overall situation here on the Bat. I am in no way saying that one thing we say matters as far as DC is concerned, but if we can't at least discuss out concerns, then what is the point of posting. I'm sure that the 490 active users right now think that their opinion matters to someone. And I hope it does. THIS particular item matters to me.

[Forsaken_One]

No offense, but in this case it's conversation. I'm attempting to take the temperature of the overall situation here on the Bat. I am in no way saying that one thing we say matters as far as DC is concerned, but if we can't at least discuss out concerns, then what is the point of posting. I'm sure that the 490 active users right now think that their opinion matters to someone. And I hope it does. THIS particular item matters to me.
I'm not questioning your right to start up a conversation or ask people questions, nor am I somehow belittling your opinion. I'm wondering just why the idea that there are quite a few anti-Batman posters on this board "alarms" you. If you're alarmed there's generally some danger involved, that's part of the definition of alarm. But there's no real danger (or hope, depending on your perspective) of Batman changing due to the feelings of some Internet users on web sites. So why, pray tell, does it alarm you?

[Tetrachromatic]

And Jesus was a freaking son of a carpenter who created a cult. Sure he's ripped from all that walking but he'd go down in no time, especially if he was doing it for our sins. :)

http://tinypic.com/e9gsqq.jpg

[Forsaken_One]

http://pressurecooker.phil.cmu.edu/Jesus/buddy.jpg

[Sean Whitmore]

http://tinypic.com/e9gsqq.jpg


I can imagine Batman's captions during this fight.

"Fact: Wound through both feet. Supposition: Opponent's speed is compromised."

"Fact: Heavy wooden boards nailed to each hand. Supposition: Opponent will be thrown off-guard by the extra weight after throwing a punch."

"Known Powers: Levitation; limited transmutation (water into wine). Threat Level: Negligible."

"Observation: Nethers unprotected by any form of padding."

"Tactical Analysis: Work the balls."


SEAN

[JuanD]

(quote)
"Fact: Wound through both feet. Supposition: Opponent's speed is compromised."

"Fact: Heavy wooden boards nailed to each hand. Supposition: Opponent will be thrown off-guard by the extra weight after throwing a punch."

"Known Powers: Levitation; limited transmutation (water into wine). Threat Level: Negligible."

"Observation: Nethers unprotected by any form of padding."

"Tactical Analysis: Work the balls."


SEAN (/quote)




best batman/jesus joke ever!!!!!!!!

.............umm this isnt blasphemous or anything is it? I dont wanna mess up
my righteousness

[mwm1331]

Batman doesn't even need prep time for this one.
All he has to do is ask which one of them is God, sit back, and watch them kill each other.

[xnef1025]

I'm game....

God and Jesus: Confuse them with all the contradiciting Judeo-Christian mythologies. Are you 2 entities? One? Who knows?

Buddah: Give him a Twinkie and he's your buddy.

Allah: Show him a clipping of what messed up crap people are doing in His name. He's got more important things to do than bother with Bats.

Odin and Zeus: Call in the JLA(pretend it's the Morrison days).

:p

[CaptMagellan]

I agree. This just strikes me as another disturbing example of Batman bashing that seems to be rampant right now.

I care more about the Bat bashing that the writers and editors are engaging in currently (yeah yeah... according to Waid it'll come to an end but in the meantime it's unpleasant to read... which I've stopped doing).

That way of writing Batman as Batdick has been what has turned a lot of the fans 'against' Batman.

See my signature.

[Chad G.]

I'm not questioning your right to start up a conversation or ask people questions, nor am I somehow belittling your opinion. I'm wondering just why the idea that there are quite a few anti-Batman posters on this board "alarms" you. If you're alarmed there's generally some danger involved, that's part of the definition of alarm. But there's no real danger (or hope, depending on your perspective) of Batman changing due to the feelings of some Internet users on web sites. So why, pray tell, does it alarm you?

Lol, I always aim to please, so let me pick a more "acceptable" adjective. Disturbed maybe. Or concerned. Tell me? I'm not trying to imply that Bat-bashing is a world concern and reason for us to raise our country's Defcon level to 1. But, as is evidence on another thread, I am not the only one who has noticed this.

[Bloopinator]

I can imagine Batman's captions during this fight.

"Fact: Wound through both feet. Supposition: Opponent's speed is compromised."

"Fact: Heavy wooden boards nailed to each hand. Supposition: Opponent will be thrown off-guard by the extra weight after throwing a punch."

"Known Powers: Levitation; limited transmutation (water into wine). Threat Level: Negligible."

"Observation: Nethers unprotected by any form of padding."

"Tactical Analysis: Work the balls."


SEAN


Nice :cool:

[Bloopinator]

I'm game....

God and Jesus: Confuse them with all the contradiciting Judeo-Christian mythologies. Are you 2 entities? One? Who knows?

Buddah: Give him a Twinkie and he's your buddy.

Allah: Show him a clipping of what messed up crap people are doing in His name. He's got more important things to do than bother with Bats.

Odin and Zeus: Call in the JLA(pretend it's the Morrison days).

:p

lol :) another good one