Favorite SNL skit

[GabrielleWP]

So what was your favorite (sorry if the topics been done before)

Mine: Colon Blow Cereal, Nerf Crotch Bat for commericals

But I loved 'Old French Whore' the game show.


(I think my whore is dead)

GWP

[Grant]

The Consumer Report skits with Dan Ackroyd.

[chicainery]

I liked the rat poison one.

[SteelTownr]

The one with Alec Baldwin as a scoundrel type of guy in the diner sitting on the stool like "He's doing it a favor".

All he's saying is "You shouldn't give away your pie for free, it makes you look cheap".

Mark B.

[Grant]

I like Alec Baldwin's crazy marine in the Chinese POW camp.

Sgt. Jack Wilcox: [ moves forward ] Anyone wanna know what I think?

General: Oh, yeah.. I don't think you had a chance to meet him on board. This is Sgt. Jack Wilcox, on loan from the Marines.

Sgt. Jack Wilcox: Yes. Sure, we could sit around and wait.. or we could take them!

Soldier #3: What was that?

Sgt. Jack Wilcox: We could knock them out!

Soldier #3: [ confused ] The Chinese?

Sgt. Jack Wilcox: You've got a problem with that, Soldier?

Soldier #3: Well, there's a billion of them..

Sgt. Jack Wilcox: Those are my kind of odds..

[Donald Stone]

Since someone had to say it,

More Cowbell (http://gorillamask.net/morecowbell.shtml)

[Grant]

Since someone had to say it,

More Cowbell (http://gorillamask.net/morecowbell.shtml)

"Babies.. before we're done here.. y'all be wearing gold-plated diapers."

[Michael P]

Steve Martin's "If I had one wish for Christmas."

[Expletive Deleted]

But I loved 'Old French Whore' the game show.That whole episode was pretty good. James Bond's VD test, "Who's More Grizzled" . . . man, that was funny.

But, yeah, More Cowbell is the gold standard.

[Kirayoshi]

Hmm...I liked the old 'Continental' bit with Christopher Walken.

Best commercials: Quarry(the cereal that's mined), or the product that was a combination floor wax/desert topping.

[Ryan K]

I can't remember laughing as hard during a SNL skit as I did in the one where Christopher Walken interviews a centaur for a job.

[hulahulk]

Chris Farley as a Chippendale's dancer was a riot. As Matt Foley, too. Damn, I miss that actor.

[Lone Ranger]

"You're not mad at him. You're just pointing.... 'Hey you, I know you, I know you...'"


Classic

[Captain Trips]

Eddie Murphy as Professor Shabazz K. Morton doing the Black History Minute on George Washington Carver. He screwed up twice. The first time he yelled (in character) "So I messed up. Shut up!" The second time after the audience laughed again he said, "Just keep on smiling." This was already a funny skit, but his improvs when he messed up were priceless.

Hell, pretty much everything Murphy did on SNL was gold.

[Davideaux]

I love the Col. Angus skit and the Doodoo pie skit with Britney Spears and Tracey Morgan.

[Karl J. Barnes]

From the old SNL, Belushi as Captain Kirk or Dan Akroyd's Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute bit.

[HomerJay]

- The superhero party where Belushi (as the Hulk) stinks up the bathroom.
- The Canteen Boy sketch where Alec Baldwin tries to seduce Canteen Boy.
- Celebrity Jeopardy
- Who's More Grizzled
- Old French Whore
- The Mango sketch with Garth Brooks
- Amazin' Laser
- Happy Fun Ball
- Tales of Ribaldry
- Old Glory Robot Insurance
- Nerf Crotch Bat
- Schmitt's Gay
- Farley vs. Swayze Chippendales audition
- Swayze on Hans & Franz
- Matt Foley
- Bible Trivia game show (w/ Norm MacDonald & Tarantino)
- Lost Star Wars screen tests (w/ Kevin Spacey doing PERFECT impressions of Walter Mathau, Jack Lemmon & Christopher Walken)
- Walken's episode of It's Pat
- The Continental
- The Sinatra Group
- The McLaughlin Group
- Bill Murray's lounge singer
- and of course:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v655/HomerJay64/psi_avatar.gif

There's tons more but I'll stop now...

[GozertheGozarian]

Celebrity Jeopardy
Anything with Christopher Walken
The Rock's Superman and Nicotrel sketches
Fred Garvin, male prostitute

[RickThunderclees]

Anything with Will Farrell, Christopher Walken, and Tracy Morgan.
The Neil Diamond "Behind the Music"

Not a fan of the recent cast unfortunately.

[ElectraAlan]

"RickRickRickRickRick! She's here, Rick! She's here! She's here, Rick! She's here!"

[SteelTownr]

That whole episode was pretty good. James Bond's VD test, "Who's More Grizzled" . . . man, that was funny.

But, yeah, More Cowbell is the gold standard.

"Whose More Grizzled?" is another favorite.

"If you've got a strong back, we can use ya."

Mark B.

[SteelTownr]

"You're not mad at him. You're just pointing.... 'Hey you, I know you, I know you...'"


Classic

"He's not a strong swimmer."

Mark B.

[SteelTownr]

I loved the one where Eddie Murphy was the lead singer of the Reggae band playing at a party with all white people.

The started singing and the chorus was "Kill the White People"

Mark B.

[Captain Trips]

Another classic Murphy was when there was a spoof of a PBS type documentary on literature programs in prison called "Prose and Cons." Eddie stood behind a steel door and you could see his face through a window as he recited the lines to his poem "Kill My Landlord." Sadly, I can't remember the lines, but the last one goes "C...I...L...L... my landlord."

I need to get the best of Eddie Murphy on SNL. That is classic stuff.

[HomerJay]

Sadly, I can't remember the lines, but the last one goes "C...I...L...L... my landlord."

Allow me:

"IMAGES" by Tyrone Greene

Dark & lonely on a summer night
KILL my landlord, KILL my landlord
Watchdog barkin, do he bite?
KILL my landlord, KILL my landlord
Slip in da window
Break his neck
Then his house I start to wreck
Got no reason
What the heck!
KILL my landlord, KILL my landlord
C-I-L-L...MY LANDLORD.

[SteelTownr]

Eddie Murphy was great on SNL. I think he was funnier there than in any of the movies since.

How about the "White Like Me" skit?

"What a silly Negro"

Mark B.

[EZMOHR]

Celebrity Jeopardy
Crystal Gravy
Old Glory Robot Insurance
Clarence Thomas hearings w/Chris Rock as Long Dong Silver
The lost Star Wars Audition Tapes (Kevin Spacy as Walter Matthau was classic.)

Norm McDonald on Weekend Update, when the joke sucked and he just sat there.

Brian Fellows Safari Planet (I'm Brian Fellows!)
When Florence Henderson said the most uncomfortable place to have sex was in the "butt" on The Ladies Man

Phil Hartman as Bill Clinton during the '92 election.
The Lost Ending to "It's a Wonderful Life"

[Captain Trips]

Allow me:

"IMAGES" by Tyrone Greene

Dark & lonely on a summer night
KILL my landlord, KILL my landlord
Watchdog barkin, do he bite?
KILL my landlord, KILL my landlord
Slip in da window
Break his neck
Then his house I start to wreck
Got no reason
What the heck!
KILL my landlord, KILL my landlord
C-I-L-L...MY LANDLORD.

LOL! Thanks!

There was also the skit where Eddie played Desmond Tutu and he was on a talk show (hosted by Christopher Guest). Doug Flutie had just won the Heisman Trophy mostly due to the miracle play against Miami, and so the skit had Flutie showing the Heisman and detailing the breakdown of the play as video was shown of it. Tutu is admiring the trophy when he drops it and breaks the arm off it. He tries to have it welded back on and melts the whole thing.

[adamthered]

"Oops, I Crapped My Pants." For some reason the phrase, "gallon of your feces" is just a gutbuster.

[Jade_GL]

I like Tracy Morgan's Astronaut Jones skits, if only for the hilarious theme song.

I love anything with Steve Martin. I especially loved The Tonight Song (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/91/91itonight.phtml), if only for the parts sung by Tim Meadows the stagehands. :)

Hmmm. Of course anything with Christopher Walken is automatic gold, but I think that The Rock as Nicotrel was very funny (*You don't talk to Nicotrel like that!*), along with his monologue when all of the wrestlers were trying to take him out, but Vince was telling them that that would be a bad idea. Very funny.

Oh, and Will Forte as Tim Calhoun... Oh my god, that makes me laugh every time. Will Forte is so funny.

[GabrielleWP]

On the Bensonhurst Dating Game
Stacey: Okay, number three, if I were a flavor of ice cream, what flavor would I be ancd what would you do with me?
Kevin Stubbs: (chris rock) You would be red raspberry and I'd lick you all over.
Andy Perotta: (joe pesci) Excuse me, what did you just say?
Kevin Stubbs: I said what they said!
Andy Perotta: I heard what you said, I'm saying next time you better be a little smarter.
Kevin Stubbs: But I said what they said!
Andy Perotta: Use your head.

And how could I forget :
Welcome. I'm Julia Child. Today, we're going to make a holiday feast, and we're going to start with a half-boned chicken, a fine, fat roasting chicken. Now, first, remove the giblets - and you really should save the giblets. They make a fine stock for soup. Or you can save the liver and fry it up with some onions for a little snack; or if you have a number of livers, you can make a lovely liver pate, or a delicious liverwurst which you can spread on a cracker - a Ritz cracker, a Saltine... or rye bread, or pumpernickel bread... or if you're celebrating the Jewish holidays, you can make a chopped liver and shape it into the bust of a friend... if someone's getting married or bar-mitzvahed... am I saying that right? Bar-mitzvahed? Or, if you have a little cat or a dog, they love liver. Save the liver! Don't throw it away! I hope I've made my point. Don't throw the liver away. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Anyway, it's time to bone the chicken. Now, for this, you need a very sharp knife. You can't do nothing without a sharp knife!
[She holds chicken and cuts along it with a sharp knife]
Julia Child: Now, you place the chicken on its stomach, and cut along the backbone to the pug nose like so...
[She suddenly drops the knife ]
Julia Child: Crap! Oh! Oh, now I've done it - I've cut the dickens out of my finger. Well, I'm glad, in a way, this has happened...
[Blood squirts out of her hand onto the chicken]
Julia Child: We have never really discussed what to do. First, we must stop the bleeding.
[She holds her apron over her hand]
Julia Child: The best way is to put pressure on the apron, like so...
[Blood keeps sqirting all over the kitchen]
Julia Child: Now, you want to raise your hand above your head so the blood doesn't pump all the way up.
[Blood continues to squirt, going everywhere]
Julia Child: Well, the apron doesn't seem to be working, so I recommend natural coagulants, such as chicken liver...
[picks up the chicken liver]
Julia Child: Remember not to throw away the liver!
[Blood gushes over the chicken liver]
Julia Child: Oh, God, it's throbbing! Well, a tourniquet can be made, using a chicken bone...
[She wraps a towel and a chicken bone around her hand]
Julia Child: Find a pressure point between the heart and the wound - in this case, the wrist - and cut off the blood. This is a last resort, however, because you could lose your hand if you tighten it too much!
[the blood keeps on squirting. She starts to get a little woozy]
Julia Child: If you're too woozy to tie the tourniquet, you might call Emergency Help - there's not much time left...
[She hobbles towards the phone on back wall and picks it up]
Julia Child: Now, every kitchen phone should have the Emergency number written on it somewhere...
[She looks at her phone ]
Julia Child: This one doesn't! 9-1-1!
[She tries to dial the number, but can't]
Julia Child: Oh, this phone is a prop, it doesn't work!
[She drops the phone, becoming increasingly woozy]
Julia Child: That's a shame, because I'm remembering a time when I was a little girl and I... had a dog named Admiral... and I used to give him liver... and my mother gave me a doll...
[She starts tipping from side to side and stares blankly at the audience]
Julia Child: Why are you all spinning? Uh... I think I'm going to go to sleep now... bon appetit...
[She falls headfirst onto the counter on top of the chicken, but manages to jump up one last time]
Julia Child: Save the liver!
[She falls back onto the counter and twitches before dying]


GWP

Let's just go with FOREIGN FLICKS for 800.
Sean Connery: [buzzes in] Ursula Andress, Catherine Deneuve, and Charo twice.
Alex Trebek: That's foreign FLICKS, Mr. Connery.

[StoneGold]

Will Ferrell in an American Flag crop top t-shirt and American flag thong underwear. That eventually break mid-way through the sketch.




Oh, and "Get a life!!!!" Because with the avatar and all, gotta root for the Shat.

[Nitmo]

The cheerleaders (Cheri Oteri and Ferrell)

Schwetti balls

Landshark!

[Magneto_X]

Harry Potter. Lyndsay Lohan. ;)

Whenever they did Celebrity Jeopardy with someone being Sean Connery.

"Suck it, _______.* Suck it long and hard!"


*host's name

[Grant]

I like the one where Dan Ackroyd plays Jimmy Carter and answering phone calls and talks someone down from a bad acid trip.

I'd kill to see the Albert Brooks short films again on DVD. I like the open heart surgery one.

Otherwise I'm more of an SCTV man...

[GabrielleWP]

I do like SCTV as well. Anything with the beloved John Candy in it gets my vote. I have to say I miss that actor more than anyone thats passed. Maybe Gilda Radner but there was no one as good, as sweet and as funny all in one like Candy.


GWP

[Ontir]

the Coneheads!

[Captain Trips]

I'm surprised no one has mentioned Sprockets. Mike Myers is always hilarious, and Sprockets was some of the funniest stuff he did.

[dougputhoff]

Oh, and "Get a life!!!!" Because with the avatar and all, gotta root for the Shat.

Gotta agree with you, Stone. Shatner's yell was the show's funniest moment.

[Vaders shoeshine boy]

"Okay,when I say a word,you say the first thing that comes to mind..."

(It was one with Richard Pryor...)

[Kirayoshi]

Kirk(played by Shatner), Spock and McCoy start a Star Trek theme restaurant.
Kirk: Bones, this man needs medical attention!
McCoy: Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a--oh, right, I'm a doctor.

The Killer Bees!

The Blues Brothers!

Wayne's World with special guests, Garth's cousin(Tom Hanks) and Aerosmith.

Samurai Psychiatrist!

The "Misery" parody where Rosanne Barr played a psycho fan of Dana Carvey who goes nuts when Dana announces he's killing off the Church Lady.

Fun with Real Audio, where Jesus couldn't get a word in edgewise while various televangelists kept shooting their mouths off. Loved the end where Jesus bopped down the street to the Charlie Brown theme.

Bass-O-Matic! Great Bass!

[Kirayoshi]

Very first SNL bit:

"I would like--"
"I vould like--"
"To feed your fingertips--"
"To feed jour fingertips--"
"To the wolverines."
"To de volverines."

[Atomic Horror]

Most (if not all) of the "Celebrity Jeopardy" and "Hardball" sketches. Will Forte's Zell Miller is hysterical.

"George Bush will defend this country! With guns! and bombs! AND SPACESHIPS!!!"

[pennywisdom]

Damn you. Damn you for even asking me to choose a single favorite SNL sketch. I considered attempting to answer this question, but I don't even know where to begin. If I started now, I might be able to narrow it down to twenty if I called off work tomorrow.

[SteelTownr]

Phil Hartman was one of the best too.


I loved his "Anal Retentive Chef" and one skit where he played Jesus coming to Earth to tell Sally Field to stop praying so much.

Mark B.

[jessecuster]

More Cowbell is definitely up there

The Debbie Downer when Linsay Lohan was on, cracked me up.

There was a sketch where it is a children's show, and they each have a letter on their chest and their leader is doing everything in his power to make sure they don't spell the F-Bomb.

If I rememeber correctly there was a sketch with Matthew Broderick, where a bunch fo guys were standing behind a fence comparing their member size.


Schmitt's Gay beer

[Huh?]

Most of the best moments have already been mentioned, but here are a few that I don't think were mentioned yet:

Commercials -

1. Wookin' Pa Nub

2. Big RED!

3. I can't remember the name, but it is a rip off of the old Lexus "marble" ads. This one is for a car that is a piece of s--t. The premise is that this car will never be broken into because it looks so crappy on the outside, but the inside is really nice. The best part is when the marble falls into a hole in the hood - priceless.

4. Mom jeans

Skits:

1. John Belushi is at a night club and he goes to the bathroom. he sees a guy stuff some toilet paper down his pants to make his dick look bigger. Belushi sees this and gets an idea: he cleans out the supply closet of all the spare rolls of TP and emerges from the bathroom with his pants stuffed to about 4 feet in front of him.

2. Ambiguously Gay Duo

3. Chris Farley as Norman Schwartzkoff on Weekend Update with Kevin Neelan: "I WANT HOLYFIELD!!!!"

[Amokitty]

Absolute favorite?

Any sketch with Todd and Lisa. I love Bill Murray, but I love Gilda with all my heart. :)

Followed by :

Dan and Jane doing Weekend Update

The commercial with Janine Garofalo and the Bathroom Monkey

Mike Myers doing Linda Richman

Discuss.

[HomerJay]

The commercial with Janine Garofalo and the Bathroom Monkey


MONKEY HATE CLEAN.

[cosmoboy]

Bathroom monkey is fantastic. I love the part where she throws the monkey in the trash and you can hear the audience's disgusted groan.
One of my favorites that hasn't been mentioned was Jim Carrey as the lifeguard at a hot tub.
The Rocks Nicotrel ad
Celebrity Jepoardy
Col. Angus was so funny yet dirty. I laughed, felt guilty then laughed some more.
And anything with Tina Fey she is so geeky hot................

[Artemis1]

Not in order.

More Cowbell
Funky Nights
Making Copies
Goatman
That German Show With Mike Myers

[Artemis1]

Oh, and the Mr. Bills.

[Huh?]

MONKEY HATE CLEAN.Here you go: Bathroom Monkey (http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2004/m_bathroom_monkey-p1.php)

[Huh?]

Old Glory Robot InsuranceHere You Go: Old Glory Robot Insurance (http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=IyUiSSysptU)

[HomerJay]

Here You Go: Old Glory Robot Insurance (http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=IyUiSSysptU)
Here you go: Bathroom Monkey (http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2004/m_bathroom_monkey-p1.php)

Oh man you rock! What did I do to deserve such kindness?

[Huh?]

I was bored at work, and figured with a little bit of searching I could find some of these. Too bad I ran out of time at work, I was on a roll. I will find some more tomorrow, so check in then.

[Huh?]

Schmitt's Gay beerHere You Go: Shmitt's Gay (http://seanism.com/dlarea/?action=watch&id=36)

[Huh?]

If you don't already know about this site (http://snltranscripts.jt.org), you may want to explore a bit. It has pretty much every skit transcripted - awesome site.

-I will continue to look for video too.

[HomerJay]

Here You Go: Shmitt's Gay (http://seanism.com/dlarea/?action=watch&id=36)

I find it amusing that whenever they replay that (for best-of shows and whatnot) the Van Halen tune is replaced with a generic library track.
Either their rights to use it expired or Van Halen asked them to remove it. I personally think of this sketch everytime I hear that song now, so It might be the later.

[xmanson]

One with Juliana Marguiles, where her boyfriend had no saliva so his father chewed his food and spit in his mouth.

[elheffe]

The Cluckin' Chicken fake ad was one of my favorites. "First, they cut my head off.."

[Basara]

"Okay,when I say a word,you say the first thing that comes to mind..."

(It was one with Richard Pryor...)

The name of the skit is "Word Association". It's the one where Chevy Chase is interviewing Richard Pryor for a janitorial job. It's an absolute riot and my favorite skit too. This skit could not be done today. Too many PC twits would have an absolute cow.

"DEAD HONKY!!"

[Bouncing Boy]

I can't believe no one mentioned the Superman's Funeral sketch with Sinbad (who was the guest host that week) as Black Lightning.

[Atomic Horror]

I can't believe no one mentioned the Superman's Funeral sketch with Sinbad (who was the guest host that week) as Black Lightning.


Speaking of Superman, what about the sketch with the Rock as a very badly disguised Clark Kent?

("Witnesses say the bullets did not bounce of the man's chest..um, er, not that they would with ordinary people like us...")

[Mister Mets]

The Jeopardy skits with Darryl Hammond as Sean Connery

[Grant]

I can't believe no one mentioned the Superman's Funeral sketch with Sinbad (who was the guest host that week) as Black Lightning.

It wasn't that funny to be honest. Though I liked the Black Lightning bits.

[Vaders shoeshine boy]

The name of the skit is "Word Association". It's the one where Chevy Chase is interviewing Richard Pryor for a janitorial job. It's an absolute riot and my favorite skit too. This skit could not be done today. Too many PC twits would have an absolute cow.

"DEAD HONKY!!"

My second favorite sketch also had Richard Pryor in it...

"The BED is on my FOOT!"

"The BED is on my FOOT!"

"The BED is on my FOOT!"


---------------

"Yo mama sews socks that SMELL!"

"What'choo say,little girl?"

"I SAID, Yo mama sews socks that SMELL"

"What? Nobody say that about my mama!"

*Priest chokes possesed girl!*

"Wait,father,please!-Let me help!"

*Now BOTH priest and assistant choke possesed girl!"


Pryors' stand-up routine also was laugh-out loud over the top! :D