Avatar Contest for the Week of September 14th

[Mike Smash!]

The theme for this week's contest is....

EVERYONE LOVES A BASTARD!

That's right... This week, it's time for avatars of bastards, jerks, pricks, annoying prats, obnoxious arseholes and generally unpleasant and rude characters.

Not villains or evil characters, unless, of course, that villain is a caustic, sarcastic, insulting bastard of a villain.

[Mike Smash!]

To kick this contest off, I will go with my favorite bastard...

...Second Technician Arnold Judas Rimmer of the Mining Ship, RED DWARF!

http://www.reddwarf.nildram.co.uk/txt/Rimmer.jpg

"Look, Lister, no point feeling sorry about Holly. It's a kindness. Like a blind old incontinent sheepdog, he's had his day. Take him out to the barn with a double-barreled shot-gun and blow the mother away. And I'm only saying that because I'm so fond of him."

(can I get a shrink for him?)

[leigh_ann1982]

I think I'm going to go with Howard Stern. I really find him and his show repulsive.

EDIT: I had to whittle my avatar down to get it to 19.5 KB (damned size limits!), but this is originally what I was working with:

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a49/leigh_ann1982/stern3.gif

[Archyduke]

I myself am a bastard in the dictionary-sense. I'm also really lazy, so, um... ta-daa!

[JeffreyWKramer]

My choice is the classic TV jerk, Eddie Haskell.

[Dizzy D]

My pick for the week: Edmund Blackadder.

Edmund: Well, Bob, welcome on board. Sorry Baldrick, any reason why you are still here?
Baldrick: Euh .. I've got nowhere to go, my lord.
Edmund: O surely you will be allowed to starve to death in one of the royal parks.
Baldrick: I've been in your service since I was two and a half, my lord.
Edmund: Well that is the why I am so utterly sick of the sight of you.
Baldrick: Couldn't I just stay here and do the same job but for no wages?
Edmund: Well, you know where you will have to live.
Baldrick: In the gutter.
Baldrick: Yes.
Edmund: And you'll have to work a bit harder too.
Baldrick: Of course, my lord.
Edmund: All right. Go and get Bob's stuff in and chuck your filthy muck out into the street.
Baldrick: God bless you, sweet master.

[Donald M.]

Yes, Cartman is occasionally evil, but mostly he's just a stupid, annoying, condescending racist bastard.

Here we see him at his most bastard-like, pretending to be disabled in order to compete in the Special Olympics. (He ended up coming in dead last.)

[Valmore]

You know what the real tragedy is? I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Fuck You, pal. You sound like an asshole! "I'm not even supposed to be here today." Whose choice was it to be here today? Nobody twisted your arm. You're here today of your own violation, my friend. But you'd like to believe that the weight of the world rests on your shoulders-that the store would crumble if Dante wasn't here. Well, I got news for you, jerk: This store would survive without you. Without me either. All you do is overcompensate for having what's basically a monkey's job: You push fucking buttons. Any moron can waltz in here and do our jobs, but you're obsessed with making it seem so much more fucking important, so much more epic than it really is. You work in a convenience store, Dante. And badly, I might add. And I work in a shitty video store. Badly, as well.

What a great movie...

[Smell]

I can do this...

meet Alan B'Astard, my local Member of Parliment.

Dom

smells like a young one

[leigh_ann1982]

What a great movie...

My favorite Kevin Smith movie. So many good lines, but my favorite scene:

Dante Hicks (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0641168/): My girlfriend's sucked 37 d***s!
Customer with Diapers (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0067865/): In a row?

Always crack me up. :D

[Dizzy D]

I can do this...

meet Alan B'Astard, my local Member of Parliment.

Dom

smells like a young one

He was my first pick, but I didn't think many people would remember him. The Nazi-party episode is one of my favourite comedy episodes ever.

[Typo Lad]

I give you Arch-foe of Underdog, Simon Bar Sinister!

Not jsut because he was a bad guy, but beacause in the ancient art of Heraldry, a coat of arms with a bar that ran from the upper right to the lower left was a "bar sinister" and meant that the person who owned that coat was a literal bastard.

[borateen]

While Dr. Kelso is an evil ass, Dr. Cox is a jerk with a heart, who will teach you a little bit about yourself on each episode of Scrubs.

http://www.nbc.com/photos/Primetime/Scrubs/2SCRahN05.jpg

[Huh?]

I have to think about this one more.

Mike Smash, please put a post in the last week's av contest thread that contains your av and the "title" you gave it (ie any quote you used under your username). Thanks. I need it for the Hall of Fame site.

[Smell]

He was my first pick, but I didn't think many people would remember him. The Nazi-party episode is one of my favourite comedy episodes ever.

I wasn't the biggest fan of this series when it started, I think I'm a little anti-ITV, but having watched the re-runs I love this character more and more.

Dom

smells of bottom

[Michael P]

Nothing says "bastard" like inflicting Coleman Francis upon another human being in the name of science.

[Huh?]

I'm going with Shooter McGavin from Happy Gilmore. What a bastard he was.

[GremlinClr]

I'm going with one of the first Sci-fi bastards on TV:

Dr. Zachary Smith

[JeffreyWKramer]

I'm going with one of the first Sci-fi bastards on TV:

Dr. Zachary Smith


Oooh, good choice!

[Greg Hatcher]

I'm in with my new favorite TV bastard: House, M.D.

http://www.hughlaurie.co.uk/communities/004/005/056/678/images/4508649459.jpg

I'll fix the avatar when I get to the printshop.

[Spackling Compound]

I'm going with Dick Cheney. Seen here on the set of Belinda Carlysles video from the mid-80's.

http://www.conspiracyplanet.com/images/cheney-grab.jpg

And how big a Dick?
http://www.thespoof.com/picstore/politics/744-cheney%20little%20dick.jpg

[Gaz]

Since my two favorite doctors are taken, I shall pick a teenage bastard, from the heady heights of TV SoCal, Mr Logan Echols!

[Dreadstar]

One of the best bastards to grace the silver screen:

Chet.

The bane of Wyatt and Gary's existence.

Chet: Lady, I wanna get to the bottom of this. ASAFP.
Lisa: Oh, so do I.
Chet: But first I'd like to... butter your muffin.
Lisa: Why do you have to be such a wanker?
Chet: Because I get off on it!

[Spackling Compound]

One of the best bastards to grace the silver screen:

Chet.

The bane of Wyatt and Gary's existence.

Chet: Lady, I wanna get to the bottom of this. ASAFP.
Lisa: Oh, so do I.
Chet: But first I'd like to... butter your muffin.
Lisa: Why do you have to be such a wanker?
Chet: Because I get off on it!

I thought Lee Teregesen played Chet? Was that on the tv show?
Hrmmm..anyway, Chet is one mighty fine bastard!

http://www.taoofryan.com/images/weird_science.jpg

[Jared_Humpherys]

Warren Ellis' fictional bastard of journalism: Spider Jerusalem!

[Lex]

Nevermind, I thought of a better one.

[Grant]

I'm sitting this one out. I can't part with Groucho just yet. Though he's sort of a bastard.

[Royal]

I'm going with one of the first Sci-fi bastards on TV:

Dr. Zachary Smith

Oh c'mon. Dr. Smith wasn't a bastard. He was a backstabbing wimp.

Bastards have balls. They're proud of being that celesstial monkey wrench that fucks up your day.

[SPAfreak]

While Dr. Kelso is an evil ass, Dr. Cox is a jerk with a heart, who will teach you a little bit about yourself on each episode of Scrubs.

That was going to be my choice you bastard. Now I have to find a good picture of everyone's favorite robotic bastard, Bender.

Well, here he is. I have to be able to find a better av though.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

My pick for the week: Edmund Blackadder.

Edmund: Well, Bob, welcome on board. Sorry Baldrick, any reason why you are still here?
Baldrick: Euh .. I've got nowhere to go, my lord.
Edmund: O surely you will be allowed to starve to death in one of the royal parks.
Baldrick: I've been in your service since I was two and a half, my lord.
Edmund: Well that is the why I am so utterly sick of the sight of you.
Baldrick: Couldn't I just stay here and do the same job but for no wages?
Edmund: Well, you know where you will have to live.
Baldrick: In the gutter.
Baldrick: Yes.
Edmund: And you'll have to work a bit harder too.
Baldrick: Of course, my lord.
Edmund: All right. Go and get Bob's stuff in and chuck your filthy muck out into the street.
Baldrick: God bless you, sweet master.


You bastard! That was my first thought!

Say, you don't happen to have a picture of yourself handy, do you?

[K'Nort]

Bad day for me to be late.

But here's the Texan who was screwing folks over for oil decades ago.

And who shot him, eh? That's right.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

My favorite Kevin Smith movie. So many good lines, but my favorite scene:

Dante Hicks (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0641168/): My girlfriend's sucked 37 d***s!
Customer with Diapers (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0067865/): In a row?

Always crack me up. :D

My favorite is just after she tells him that and she leaves the store and he shouts, "Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!"

[Dreadstar]

Bad day for me to be late.

!

Is there a *good* day for that?

[Spackling Compound]

!

Is there a *good* day for that?

Don't you mean...

"."

?

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

My inner 12 year old still laughs at this part of the movie, every time:


Fat Bastard: First things first: WHERE'S YOUR SHITTER? I've got a turtle-head poking out.
Dr. Evil: Charming
Fat Bastard: I'm not kiddin'. I've got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey. Aww, it's SQUIDGY. Christ, I'm gettin' all emotional from it, ya know?

He is, in fact, DEAD SEXY:

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/104/2808/320/Fat_Bastard.jpg

[Spackling Compound]

Dibs on Fat Bastard.

I was thinking of using him!
I found this out when I was hunting for a good pic...

http://www.wineloverspage.com/graphics/fatb0105.jpg
Fat Bastard wine.
How cool is that?

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

I was thinking of using him!
I found this out when I was hunting for a good pic...

http://www.wineloverspage.com/graphics/fatb0105.jpg
Fat Bastard wine.
How cool is that?

You don't want to know where they grow the grapes.

[Spackling Compound]

You don't want to know where they grow the grapes.

I don't want to know who stomps them either...

[StoneGold]

I'm going to take this challenge literally. My bastard is probably the best known bastard of all time, Jesus Christ.

http://jesusoftheweek.com/art/j2k5-15.jpg


What? It's not like his parents were married.

EDIT: By the way, if I could get a shrink, I'd appreciate it. Or I'll just wait till I get home.

[GremlinClr]

Oh c'mon. Dr. Smith wasn't a bastard. He was a backstabbing wimp.

Bastards have balls. They're proud of being that celesstial monkey wrench that fucks up your day.

Not necessarily.


Smith returned to the United States with a degree from Oxford (now known to be forged). His intelligence contacts saw to it that he was admitted to Harvard.

Smith later used his position as a military psychologist to learn classified information from his patients, using hypnosis and other means. "His cover was obviously a good one, for while Smith never made many friends with his caustic personality, he did develop an excellent reputation as a doctor, and no one ever suspected his true purpose within the military."

During his military career, Smith's tastes became very expensive, and he pressured his intelligence contacts to get him a position that would gain him greater income. They installed him as an operative within the USSC, along with several other operatives already there, collectively known by the code name Aeolus Umbra. [Note: "Aeolus" is the Latin name for the god of the winds; "umbra" is the Latin word for a ghost or spirit.]

The destruction of the Jupiter 1 in 1993, which was officially attributed to a fuel system malfunction, was probably due to sabotage by these agents. Although Smith was not involved in that disaster, he undoubtedly had help from other agents within the Space Corps with his attempt to destroy the second colonization ship.

After the launch of the Jupiter 2 on October 16, 1997, Smith's behavior became increasingly bizarre and childish (according logs that John Robinson left on interstellar fuel barge F-12, which were later retrieved by Alpha Control). Within a year, Smith was a mere shell of his former self.

The final paragraph of the Alpha Control profile of Smith reads as follows:

"Now that the investigation into Col. Smith's background has been concluded…the decision is up to the President as to whether Smith should be tried in absentia for murder, attempted murder, espionage, etc. Considering the negative publicity such a trial would receive, the current mental condition of the man, and the simple fact that Smith will probably never return to Earth to have whatever sentence he received carried out, we can only recommend that the man not be brought to trial unless he returns to his home planet."

That says bastard to me...

[borateen]

I was thinking of using him!
I found this out when I was hunting for a good pic...

http://www.wineloverspage.com/graphics/fatb0105.jpg
Fat Bastard wine.
How cool is that?

I've had it. It's actually very tasty.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

I've had it. It's actually very tasty.

Once you've had fat, you never go back.








I had to say it. Sorry.

[Slam_Bradley]

A man of many names, before he became William the Conqueror, he was known as William the Bastard.

http://www.uk.filo.pl/uk_history_william1_the_conqueror.jpg

[Dizzy D]

You bastard! That was my first thought!

Say, you don't happen to have a picture of yourself handy, do you?

I see you already found your bastard.

[Dennis K]

But here's the Texan who was screwing folks over


If you would have stopped right there, you could have W as your avatar.

[Guapo Méndez]

My avatar is coming soon, but Borateen has locked my vote.


I pick Sawyer, from Lost.

[Guapo Méndez]

I'm going to take this challenge literally. My bastard is probably the best known bastard of all time, Jesus Christ.


What? It's not like his parents were married.

EDIT: By the way, if I could get a shrink, I'd appreciate it. Or I'll just wait till I get home.


Judges: Can I object?

[Bouncing Boy]

I give you Templeton the Rat from Charlotte's Web. He was a lazy, sarcastic, gluttonous good for nothing. Truely a rat bastard.

[JeffreyWKramer]

Judges: Can I object?

No, but you can vote for someone else.

[Night]

The single letter of the alphabet that cause Red Alerts anytime it's mentioned.

I give you the imfamous Q

[K'Nort]

No, but you can vote for someone else.

I think it's a valid point to raise. And it doesn't exactly fit the 'love to hate' theme either.

[Dreadstar]

I think it's a valid point to raise. And it doesn't exactly fit the 'love to hate' theme either.

Agreed. It seems pretty "in your face" rather than fitting.

[Typo Lad]

I think it's a valid point to raise. And it doesn't exactly fit the 'love to hate' theme either.

Yes it does. You should hear some people hate on the guy.

What did a poor carpenter ever do to them?

[StoneGold]

Actually, the theme is "Everyone Loves a Bastard." And JC's a bastard that gets more love than most. But I'd rather not start any arguments, I've got enough controversy elsewhere on the board, I'll find something else.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

I see you already found your bastard.

I'm willing to switch, you bastard.

[Spackling Compound]

I give you Templeton the Rat from Charlotte's Web. He was a lazy, sarcastic, gluttonous good for nothing. Truely a rat bastard.
And wasn't he voiced by Paul Lynde? Double bastard!!!

[K'Nort]

And wasn't he voiced by Paul Lynde? Double bastard!!!

I loved him on Hollywood Squares when I was a kid. Of course, a lot went over my head.


Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body - what is it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected!

[Justy]

Oh c'mon. Dr. Smith wasn't a bastard. He was a backstabbing wimp.

Bastards have balls. They're proud of being that celesstial monkey wrench that fucks up your day.

In the first few episodes he was a bastard. He was more evil than he became in the later episodes. His character was re-written to be more comic relief than evil. Its too bad bad really.

[Lex]

I changed my mind.

[Nitmo]

My choice is the classic TV jerk, Eddie Haskell.
THIEF!!!!

That was my avatar dammit!

[K'Nort]

THIEF!!!!

That was my avatar dammit!

Yeah, but you've got a pretty good entry yourself this week.

[Justy]

I'm getting my avatar ready now but I claim Dogbert!

[ragnarok_2012]

I call Jayne from Firefly/Serenity!

[Grant]

Changed my mind as I so often do and I think I'll pick my personal favorite bastard... the animated Lex Luthor.

http://worldsfinestonline.com/WF/jlu/bios/luthor/03.jpg

[ragnarok_2012]

The Ballad of Jayne

Jayne.....
The man they call Jayne...

He robbed from the rich
And he gave to the poor
Stood up to the man
And he gave him what for
Our love for him now
Ain't hard to explain
The Hero of Canton
The man they call Jayne...

Our Jayne saw the mudders' backs breakin'
He saw the mudders' laments
And he saw the magistrate takin'
Every dollar and leavin' five cents
So he said "You can't do that to my people"
He said "Can't crush them under your heel"
Jayne strapped on his hat
And in 5 seconds flat
Stole everything Boss Higgins had to steal...

He robbed from the rich
And he gave to the poor
Stood up to the man
And he gave him what for
Our love for him now
Ain't hard to explain
The Hero of Canton
The man they call Jayne...

Now here is what separates heroes
From common folk like you and I
The man they call Jayne
He turned 'round his plane
And let that money hit the skies
He dropped it onto our houses
He dropped it into our yards
The man they called Jayne
He stole away our pain
And headed out for the stars...

He robbed from the rich
And he gave to the poor
Stood up to the man
And he gave him what for
Our love for him now
Ain't hard to explain
The Hero of Canton
The man they call Jayne...

[Nitmo]

As for my pick: I choose the bastard who brought us the XFL

Vince McMahon

[borateen]

I call Jayne from Firefly/Serenity!

Ooooh, good choice. You've got my vote locked.

[ragnarok_2012]

Ooooh, good choice. You've got my vote locked.

Awesome!

I've gotta say that Black Adder had my vote until I saw K'Nort's JR Ewing.

[phoenixrising]

The biggest bastard I can think of: Rush Limbaugh. But I can't avatar-ize it until I get to work. It seems my photoshop has decided to stop working...

http://media-cyber.law.harvard.edu/blogs/static/dowbrigade/rush.jpg

[HomerJay]

Changed my mind as I so often do and I think I'll pick my personal favorite bastard... the animated Lex Luthor.

I'll just stick with my current avatar, the latest live-action Luthor, Kevin Spacey (sporting a thoughtful yet bastardly look on his face).

[K'Nort]

The biggest bastard I can think of: Rush Limbaugh. But I can't avatar-ize it until I get to work. It seems my photoshop has decided to stop working...

Here you go.

I'd forgotten about his self-designed ties. I worked with a guy who was such a dittohead that he bought and wore those things.

[Justy]

OK my avatar is up and I give you the canine evil bastard...

DOGBERT

http://home.earthlink.net/~markhavener/images/dt_dogbert-bah.gif

(Dogbert said that it was OK to re-distribute this comic.)

There is not one shred of decency in him.

[phoenixrising]

Here you go.

I'd forgotten about his self-designed ties. I worked with a guy who was such a dittohead that he bought and wore those things.

Thanks Nort!

[phoenixrising]

OK my avatar is up and I give you the canine evil bastard...

DOGBERT

http://home.earthlink.net/~markhavener/images/dt_dogbert-bah.gif

(Dogbert said that it was OK to re-distribute this comic.)

There is not one shred of decency in him.

As mean as Dogbert can be, he's not nearly as cruel as Catbert. He's like the Lex Luthor of felines.

[Justy]

As mean as Dogbert can be, he's not nearly as cruel as Catbert. He's like the Lex Luthor of felines.

To that I say...

Bah!
:)

(I was debating which one, but I wanted to jump in before somebody else claimed either.)

[Lex]

Okay, I thought of a better character that fit into the bastard theme.

Star of WNYX NewsRadio, Bill McNeal! Played by the late, great Phil Hartman on NBC's NewsRadio. It's one of my favorite shows of all time.

Great Bill McNeal quotes:

"Don't try to confuse me with the facts."

"Have you ever heard the expression, 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and then toss it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you asked for in the first place'?"

"Screw your problem! I'm talking about me!"

"You're from Wisconsin... artificial light is fascinating to you."

"Are you challenging my constitutional right to make nude phone calls?"

"There comes a time in every friendship when you have to say, I never liked you - get lost."

"Then again another wise man said, if you can get more money, screw your friends."

"You just threw up in the punch bowl we all share and now you expect us to believe it's Alphabet Soup"?

"Another time I was cut from the highschool football team... and my mother said, "Central's lost a fullback but the McNeal's have gained a daughter"... and in front of the other players too... priceless!... good times... good times..."

"Gazziza Dilznoofus it's Bill McNeal saying get with the crezappy taste of Rocketfuel Malt Liquor... Rocketfuel's got that upstate prison flavor that keeps you ugly all night long. So when you wanna get sick remember, nothing makes yo' feet stank like Rocketfuel Malt Liquor... DAMN! It's crezappy!!!"

[Michael P]

My favorite is just after she tells him that and she leaves the store and he shouts, "Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!"
Hey, you get back here!

[Grant]

I'll just stick with my current avatar, the latest live-action Luthor, Kevin Spacey (sporting a thoughtful yet bastardly look on his face).

He's yet to prove himself.

But he looks damn good.

[MacQuarrie]

I picked Miles Drentell, the world-class sunuvabitch played by David Clennon on "Thirtysomething" and later on "Once and Again."

I used to watch "Thirtysomething" just to see exactly how much of a bastard he was going to be each episode.

[Grant]

I picked Miles Drentell, the world-class sunuvabitch played by David Clennon on "Thirtysomething" and later on "Once and Again."

I used to watch "Thirtysomething" just to see exactly how much of a bastard he was going to be each episode.

Oh I remember him when my mom watched it. I always wanted to know what horrible thing Miles did that week. He was awesome.

Great pick.

[SteelTownr]

I'm gonna go with Dr. Zaius.

He was gonna chop off Charlton Heston's Weiner.

Mark B.

[SteelTownr]

Oh, And As an explanation to K'Nort. I had about a dozen people off of the top of my head who have done the Steelers wrong and are bastards (phil luckett comes to mind), but I couldn't stand looking at them for a whole week.

Mark B.

[Sanagi]

The Eggplant Wizard. In the video game Kid Icarus, he walks back and forth flinging eggplants. If one of them touches you, you get a big eggplant covering your head and torso, preventing you from using your weapons. Curing this condition requires a long trek, and if you get hit by the wizard again on the way back, bam, eggplanted again. I can think of no video game character more likely to elicit the cry, "You bastard!" Although he was only a minor enemy in the game, he was so infamous that he was made into a character in Captain N: The Game Master.

[Mike Smash!]

I'm gonna go with Dr. Zaius.

He was gonna chop off Charlton Heston's Weiner.

Mark B."You cut out his brain, you bloody baboon!!!"

[Matt]

I'll go for the 7th Doctor, as played by Sylvester McCoy.
While he was one of the good guys, he thought absolutely nothing of reducing his companions to emotional wrecks and generally manipulating everyone around him to reach his goals.
And, at times, he could be a complete and utter bastard.

Taken from the wikipedia entry for 'The Curse of Fenric':
Fenric orders the Ancient One to kill Ace and the Doctor. Ace, however, still has faith in the Doctor's infallibility, and that faith creates a psychic barrier that keeps the Ancient One back. Fenric takes up a vial of the toxin, saying that he will kill the Doctor anyway, but if he would like Ace to live, to kneel before him. The Doctor callously tells Fenric to kill Ace, revealing that he knew all along that Ace had Fenric's evil inside her. Why else would he have taken in a social misfit and an emotional cripple who could not even pass chemistry, yet somehow created a time storm in her bedroom? The Doctor saw Fenric's hand in it from the start, and was just using Ace to get to him. With these revelations, Ace's faith in the Doctor is shattered, and she falls to the floor weeping.

In short, the Doctor purposefully shatters all the hero worship Ace had about him, insults her to her straight to her face, just so he could go through with his plan to defeat Fenric.

And that was him on a good day.

Nah, most people won't have previously seen the reference and it won't win but ... eh, I'll stick with my Dr Who theme anyhow.

[howyadoin]

The theme for this week's contest is....

EVERYONE LOVES A BASTARD!

That's right... This week, it's time for avatars of bastards, jerks, pricks, annoying prats, obnoxious arseholes and generally unpleasant and rude characters. Shit, I don't even need to change my avatar.

[Mike Smash!]

Great entries this week...

A couple more great bastard moments from Arnold Rimmer:

Rimmer: Look, sooner or later, we're gonna have to face the fact that we're not all gonna get out of this in one piece. Or if we are, it's gonna be one big flat piece.
Lister: And?
Rimmer: It's time we decided who's gonna take the one-man escape pod.
The Cat: How?
Rimmer: Well, if you'll just bear with me, I think I've devised a fair and equitable system of choosing who should survive. It's based on age, rank, seniority, usefulness... to cut a long story short it's me. I was as stunned as you are, which is why I demanded a recount. But blow me! It didn't come out of me again! Keys?


-------


Rimmer: What are you waiting for? Gloop him.
Lister: I can't. He's not armed.
Rimmer: Lister, this is not a scout meeting. We are not trying to win Best Behaved Troop Flag. Gloop him.
Lister: What? In the back?
Rimmer: Of course in the back. It's only a pity he's awake.
Lister: You mean you can happily kill him if he was asleep?
Rimmer: I can happily kill him if he was on the job.

[Paradox]

Wow, I can't believe after three pages (long form) that this one is still left!

Comics' original bastard's bastard...John Constantine.

First one that came to my mind...too on the nose?

[Boldido]

I call dibs on Frank Burns. I do up my av later.

http://privat.ostprignitz.de/trogisch/mash/frank02.jpg

[Paradox]

You tell 'em, ferret-face! ;)

[J Dog]

My Vote: Michael Pullmann for his "Dr. Clayton Forrester" avatar
Close Second: Typo Lad's Underdog villain

[Arrjay]

I left my avatar the same because I assume that people generally associate it with man the things that I write here. It's valid too. I'm a bit of a jerk bastard at times so do I count? Probably not but at least I got my bit in.

[Paradox]

J Dog is an excitable boy:

My Vote: Michael Pullmann for his "Dr. Clayton Forrester" avatar
Close Second: Typo Lad's Underdog villain

Tuesday, rookie. We don't start voting until next Tuesday. ;)

There's TONS of entries left to be entered.

[Spackling Compound]

My Vote: Michael Pullmann for his "Dr. Clayton Forrester" avatar
Close Second: Typo Lad's Underdog villain
Don't cast your vote yet!
Tuesday is the voting day.
You may still see some good ones pop up!

[SteelTownr]

Don't cast your vote yet!
Tuesday is the voting day.
You may still see some good ones pop up!

Yeah, for sure and whoever counts the votes might not go back this far in the thread, so yours might be missed.

Mark B.

[Paradox]

Tucker Denim thinks we think he's amphibious?:

I left my avatar the same because I assume that people generally associate it with man the things that I write here. It's valid too. I'm a bit of a jerk bastard at times so do I count? Probably not but at least I got my bit in.

Actually, I keep confusing you with Tucker Max, but that's because my roomie has printed out a bunch of his stories for bathroom reading.

If y'all don't already know, you probably don't want to. But, there's always Google, if you're interested.

[J Dog]

Tuesday, rookie. We don't start voting until next Tuesday. ;)

There's TONS of entries left to be entered.
Sorry, sorry.

Look, I'll never join these (unless there is a Mimi Tachikawa-themed contest), but I LOVE that Clayton avy.

You see, I'm a MSTie.

Okay, I'll see the others... and until I see a cool one (like Seto Kaiba), my vote will go to Michael on Tuesday.

[J Dog]

Don't cast your vote yet!
Tuesday is the voting day.
You may still see some good ones pop up!
You are right. I love your "Dick Cheney with the world" avatar.

[Paradox]

J Dog apologizes:

Sorry, sorry.

Look, I'll never join these (unless there is a Mimi Tachikawa-themed contest), but I LOVE that Clayton avy.

You see, I'm a MSTie.

Okay, I'll see the others... and until I see a cool one (like Seto Kaiba), my vote will go to Michael on Tuesday.

Aw, we're just "givin' ya the bizness". Frankly, we always like new folks joining in and I, for one, appreciate your enthusiasm. Just be sure, as was mentioned, to officially post your vote next Tuesday or it'll probably get missed.

[J Dog]

Aw, we're just "givin' ya the bizness". Frankly, we always like new folks joining in and I, for one, appreciate your enthusiasm. Just be sure, as was mentioned, to officially post your vote next Tuesday or it'll probably get missed.
Okay. Well, I can't wait to vote. Already I'vs seen good ones.

[Paradox]

J Dog isn't alone:

Okay. Well, I can't wait to vote. Already I'vs seen good ones.

Heh, if you look through some of the old threads, you'll see a lot of "Oh, MAN! Come Tuesday, you got my vote!". :)

[Donald M.]

Heh, if you look through some of the old threads, you'll see a lot of "Oh, MAN! Come Tuesday, you got my vote!". :)

In fact, you've already got my vote. I loved Dangerous Habits, and John flipping off the Demons Three that was the best bit of all.

[Rabid Trekkie]

I'm sure my avatar has played a bastard at some point.

[Paradox]

Rabid Trekkie loves the Walken:

I'm sure my avatar has played a bastard at some point.

Plenty of times, but the angel Gabriel from "The Prophecy" jumps immediately to mind.

[Beatnikman]

He's one of comics' all-time classic bastards.

He's been a thorn in Spider-Man's side as long as anyone.

He is the one and only J. Jonah Jameson.

http://pc59te.dte.uma.es/cdb/series/marvel/bitmaps/jonahjameson.jpg

[Greg Hatcher]

Aw, we're just "givin' ya the bizness". Frankly, we always like new folks joining in and I, for one, appreciate your enthusiasm. Just be sure, as was mentioned, to officially post your vote next Tuesday or it'll probably get missed.


Julie is already lobbying for me to vote for Jayne from Firefly. Sometimes I think she forgets she's registered here too.

[J Dog]

He's one of comics' all-time classic bastards.

He's been a thorn in Spider-Man's side as long as anyone.

He is the one and only J. Jonah Jameson.

http://pc59te.dte.uma.es/cdb/series/marvel/bitmaps/jonahjameson.jpg
UBER KING OF ALL BASTARDDOM!

[Celisasu]

JJ Jameson is a worthy bastard but I think I've found the guy to top him.



Meet Gendo Ikari. Look at what he does to his own son and tell me that this guy doesn't define what it means to be a bastard.

[Citrus-Man]

I'm kind of surprised no one's gotten to him yet, but I present to you the world's richest bastard:

GATES.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v441/GoSpacemanSpiff/billgates.jpg

[K'Nort]

JJ Jameson is a worthy bastard but I think I've found the guy to top him.

Meet Gendo Ikari. Look at what he does to his own son and tell me that this guy doesn't define what it means to be a bastard.

If you're going for votes, note that most of us aren't particularly familiar with anime/manga so you'll need to explain.

[Typo Lad]

What makes Bill Gates a bastard? The fact that he's succesful? The fact that he gives millions to charity every year? The fact that he pays his employees a good wage?

Oh I forgot, he owns a company that makes computer software some people don't like, so he must be a bastard.

Now if you'd said Steve Balmer, i'd agree...

[Citrus-Man]

It's a joke, man. Not an opinion piece for the New Yorker. ;)

Crazy me, I saw "love to hate," and when I Googled his picture, I found about a dozen of him mocked up as the Devil or Hitler. So I'm going to go out on a limb and say people love to hate him, deserved or no.

[Huh?]

What makes Bill Gates a bastard? The fact that he's succesful? The fact that he gives millions to charity every year? The fact that he pays his employees a good wage?

Oh I forgot, he owns a company that makes computer software some people don't like, so he must be a bastard.

Now if you'd said Steve Balmer, i'd agree...Watch "Pirates of Silicon Valley." See what he did to Steve Jobs.

I don't think he is an awful person (actually the opposite), but in business dealings he can be a cut throat bastard - which is good (in business).

[Grant]

Tuesday, rookie. We don't start voting until next Tuesday. ;)

There's TONS of entries left to be entered.

I think we need to start putting rules at the beginning of every thread for the newbies like they do for COTM.

Reduce the snark factor.

This might be my last avatar contest until I can find a new graphics program. (My computer crashed this morning).

[Justy]

Watch "Pirates of Silicon Valley." See what he did to Steve Jobs.

I don't think he is an awful person (actually the opposite), but in business dealings he can be a cut throat bastard - which is good (in business).

I saw that movie. I really enjoyed it.

That's not being a bastard, that's just being a good businessman. One in the same, perhaps. Steve Jobs was more of a bastard (or would prick be more accurate) in that movie. His own board essentially fired him.

Although love to hate is a good catch-phrase for Bill. Yet, I think more people hate Microsoft Windows than Mr. Gates himself.

Personally I wouldn't call him a bastard. He does some good with his money.

[ragnarok_2012]

An example of Steve Jobs being a bastard:

According to Leo Laporte on TWIT (the podcast that the Tech TV Screensaver's guys have), Steve Jobs was known to randomly dress down employees for no other reason than that he was having a bad day. Then, invariably he would fire them and move on. He had a female assistant who would follow him around and tell those employees that they really weren't fired.

[Gaz]

If you're going for votes, note that most of us aren't particularly familiar with anime/manga so you'll need to explain.
Oh, he's a bastard alright, he has absolutely no contact with his own son until circumstances require him to use said child to pilot a mech, even then he treats the kid like a component of the mech as opposed to an actual person risking his life. (That's a basic gist of him, specific incidents aren't coming to mind as I've only just started watching NGE)

[Gaz]

Julie is already lobbying for me to vote for Jayne from Firefly. Sometimes I think she forgets she's registered here too.
Maybe she's afraid you'll cut her off if she doesn't pick you? :p
And you've got mine, based on the cornea line from last season alone, and his casting of Carmen Electra as himself in his fantasy.

[Royal]

My favorite bastard is Richard III

http://www.showbusinessweekly.com/images/301/theatre_richard_in.jpg

[Sanagi]

Meet Gendo Ikari. Look at what he does to his own son and tell me that this guy doesn't define what it means to be a bastard.If you're going for votes, note that most of us aren't particularly familiar with anime/manga so you'll need to explain.
In the super-melodramatic giant robot anime Evangelion, Gendo and his son Shinji have an incredibly dysfunctional relationship. When Gendo sacrifices one of Shinji's friends for the sake of a mission, Shinji rebels against him. Gendo knocks out Shinji by remote control of his life support system, then has him thrown in the brig.

[Celisasu]

If you're going for votes, note that most of us aren't particularly familiar with anime/manga so you'll need to explain.Well mostly I'm just bringing out a real bastard but I should share some of his feats I suppose.


1. Abandoning his son until he had use for him. Turns out that his son is among a minority that can bond with a sort of organic mecha called Evangelions. Once he found that out Shinji became useful again and thus worth contacting(although he still treats Shinji like shit).

2. As noted above when he ordered Shinji's best friend to be killed, Shinji rebelled and he had Shinji knocked unconscious and then brigged.

3. Let us not forget the fact that Gendo has sacrificed billions in his quest to be with his dead wife.

4. And of course there are all the Rei clones he makes out of his wife's DNA.


And these things are just for starters.

[howyadoin]

What makes Bill Gates a bastard? The fact that he's succesful? The fact that he gives millions to charity every year? The fact that he pays his employees a good wage?

Oh I forgot, he owns a company that makes computer software some people don't like, so he must be a bastard.You're right. He's a sweet, considerate, caring individual. What could we have been thinking?

[Matt]

I'm guessing that the way he mercilessly treats his business competitors, tries to take credit for products he and MS never had a hand in creating, etc etc.

For those interested, Microsoft did not create DOS or Windows 3.1 (or huge parts of Windows 95 for that matter). They merely bought the rights to software packages someone else create and sold them under their own name.

[howyadoin]

I'm guessing that the way he mercilessly treats his business competitors, tries to take credit for products he and MS never had a hand in creating, etc etc.

For those interested, Microsoft did not create DOS or Windows 3.1 (or huge parts of Windows 95 for that matter). They merely bought the rights to software packages someone else create and sold them under their own name.They didn't create Halo, either - that was originally developed for the Mac, till Gates bought Bungee out.

[Celisasu]

Nintendo is pretty ruthless too. I remember reading about some of the stuff they did such as price fixing and whatnot. Microsoft isn't alone in being a company full of assholes. Not that it's dirty tactics should be ignored either. I'm sure that Sony also has its moments although I can't think of them off the top of my head.

[howyadoin]

Microsoft isn't alone in being a company full of assholes. Not that it's dirty tactics should be ignored either.What I find funny is that they were blatantly guilty of anti-trust, but because the government was too moronic to see it that way, people act like Bill is Mr. Rogers.

I guess they must see Ticketmaster as some sort of kind-hearted, philanthropic organization, too.

[Celisasu]

What I find funny is that they were blatantly guilty of anti-trust, but because the government was too moronic to see it that way, people act like Bill is Mr. Rogers.

I guess they must see Ticketmaster as some sort of kind-hearted, philanthropic organization, too.


This is Fidel Castro and Saddam Hussein's real problem. You see, they got bad PR reps. If they hired the people that Microsoft and Nintendo did, they'd be heroes to the masses and you'd have pictures of Saddam hugging kitties on the net instead of mass graves.

[dougputhoff]

Ironically, this bastard was loved--by fans of the Indiana University basketball team. And many people in Indiana still love him

Bob Knight

Chair-thrower, Puerto-Rican policeman-basher, and three time NCAA championship coach.

A shrink please:

http://www.3rvs.com/features/hilly99/bobnight.jpg

[Nitmo]

What I find funny is that they were blatantly guilty of anti-trust, but because the government was too moronic to see it that way, people act like Bill is Mr. Rogers.

I guess they must see Ticketmaster as some sort of kind-hearted, philanthropic organization, too.


I find it humorously ironic that this country has only one monopoly commission

[Celisasu]

Ironically, this bastard was loved--by fans of the Indiana University basketball team. And many people in Indiana still love him

Bob Knight

Chair-thrower, Puerto-Rican policeman-basher, and three time NCAA championship coach.

A shrink please:

http://www.3rvs.com/features/hilly99/bobnight.jpg


Here you go.

http://theoceanking.homestead.com/files/BastardBob80AV1.jpg

http://theoceanking.homestead.com/files/BastardBob80AV1.jpg

[SteelTownr]

Ironically, this bastard was loved--by fans of the Indiana University basketball team. And many people in Indiana still love him

Bob Knight

Chair-thrower, Puerto-Rican policeman-basher, and three time NCAA championship coach.

A shrink please:

http://www.3rvs.com/features/hilly99/bobnight.jpg

Here ya go, Doug.

Mark B.

[boolean]

One Bob Knight shrink, coming up.

edit:Well, now you've got a few to choose from. :p

[Celisasu]

Indeed he does. If only government was half as efficient as us huh? ;)

[howyadoin]

I find it humorously ironic that this country has only one monopoly commissionOkay, that was fuckin' funny.

[Justin Davis]

Holy crap, there are a lot of bastards out there. Some really great ones so far. Between the doctors, Crowly from MST3K, Rimmer, Lex Luthor, and a few others, I don't know which one to pick.

I'm in with someone who epitomizes the word bastard. Literally. That Yellow Bastard.

"Like bad food. Like rotten meat. Like a corpse left in a garbage dumpster in the middler of the summer, he stinks."

Surprised no one chose him before me.

http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/covers/dh/SCTYBYellowBastard.jpg

[MacQuarrie]

What makes Bill Gates a bastard? The fact that he's succesful? The fact that he gives millions to charity every year? The fact that he pays his employees a good wage?

Oh I forgot, he owns a company that makes computer software some people don't like, so he must be a bastard.

Now if you'd said Steve Balmer, i'd agree...
It could be the "engulf and devour" approach to corporate growth, or maybe the "slash and burn and sow their fields with salt" approach to competitors....

[howyadoin]

Surprised no one chose him before me.I figured StoneGold woulda been all over it.

[Mike Smash!]

I find it humorously ironic that this country has only one monopoly commissionI have to go with Howya. Friggin' brilliant line!

[Justin Davis]

I figured StoneGold woulda been all over it.

True. He was the life model afterall.







Saying that comes off as really mean. However, Stone has the perfect Halloween costume ready to go.

[Paradox]

Justy is mistaken:

That's not being a bastard, that's just being a good businessman.

No, that's not being a "good" businessman, that's only being a "profitable" businessman. Not necessarily the same thing, unless you don't count ethical behavior as part of business.

I'm not sure if I'd call him a "bastard" because of it, though. More like an "asshole".

Guess it depends on your definition of terms...

[dougputhoff]

Thanks, guys.

[Grant]

Surprised no one chose him before me.

I was debating it. I opted against him because of the whole pedophilia thing.

[J Dog]

Thanks, guys.
So, far my candidates are:

Michael Pullmann
Mike Smash!
dougputhoff
Donald M.

When will Tuesday come?

[Spackling Compound]

When will Tuesday come?

Tuesday is considered either the second or the third day of the week, between Monday and Wednesday. The English and Scandinavian names are derived from the Nordic god Tyr (in Old English, Tiw, Tew or Tiu. In Swedish, Tisdag, Danish: Tirsdag, Finnish: Tiistai).

Quakers traditionally refer to Tuesday as "Third Day" eschewing the "pagan" origin of the English name "Tuesday

Tuesday will be here after Monday, and on Wednesday, Tuesday's gone like the wind.

[Justin Davis]

I was debating it. I opted against him because of the whole pedophilia thing.

I didn't even think of that. Considering my occupation.... probably not my best choice either. Aaaawwwwwwkward.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

This is Fidel Castro and Saddam Hussein's real problem. You see, they got bad PR reps. If they hired the people that Microsoft and Nintendo did, they'd be heroes to the masses and you'd have pictures of Saddam hugging kitties on the net instead of mass graves.

Or shaking hands with this guy:

http://ubbt.moby.com/userfiles/2364683-rumsfeld-saddam.jpg

[SPAfreak]

So was Jim Profit just an evil, scheming sociopath or would he have been eligible for bastard?

[J Dog]

Can anyone make an avatar out of this photo for me?:

http://www.truckerphoto.com/Dukakis%20on%20tank.jpg

It's the guy who ruined his chances with the tank.

[Dreadstar]

Can anyone make an avatar out of this photo for me?:

It's the guy who ruined his chances with the tank.


For the contest?

Dukakis wasn't exactly the brightest bulb in the political Christmas tree, but I've never of heard any who consdiered him a bastard.

[Justy]

No, that's not being a "good" businessman, that's only being a "profitable" businessman. Not necessarily the same thing, unless you don't count ethical behavior as part of business.

I'm not sure if I'd call him a "bastard" because of it, though. More like an "asshole".

Guess it depends on your definition of terms...

Yes it is a being an effective businessman. The computer world was going to consolidate and Bill Gates did it. So, he reaped the profits from it. I see no fault in that. Yes he bought the rights to titles and ideas and made them his own. Those people were given their money even if in the application made much more money for Microsoft in the outcome. Yes, he overstepped his bounds and was forced to retreat. Power does that to people.

I am an ethical person. I'd like to see Bernie Ebbers (WorldCom) and Andrew Fastow (Enron) hung for what they did to their pensioners and investors.

I am not going to begrudge Bill Gates just because he was successful.

[Dan Apodaca]

Can anyone make an avatar out of this photo for me?:

http://www.truckerphoto.com/Dukakis%20on%20tank.jpg

It's the guy who ruined his chances with the tank.


What I don't get is why the tank ruined him, but the flight suit did nothing to effect Bush.

[Dreadstar]

What I don't get is why the tank ruined him, but the flight suit did nothing to effect Bush.

Because W was packin'!

[Nitmo]

What I don't get is why the tank ruined him, but the flight suit did nothing to effect Bush.

Dukakis ran as a Democrat, and you know that you shifty liberals just abhorr anything military-related

[Grant]

I didn't even think of that. Considering my occupation.... probably not my best choice either. Aaaawwwwwwkward.

Well at least your caption doesn't say "I like 'em young."

[StoneGold]

I figured out who I'm gonna be. And it's kind of a twofer, because both the character and the actor are bastards.

The guy who kept Sulu from getting his own show, and the ultimate legal bastard, William Shatner as Denny Crane!

http://a.abc.com/primetime/bostonlegal/images/bios/bio_Shatner.jpg

Denny Crane!

At least one I get home.

[dougputhoff]

And wasn't he voiced by Paul Lynde? Double bastard!!!

OH HOW DISGUSTING!!!

[Nitmo]

I'm going to have to change mine to a bastard in BOTH the figurative and literal sense

EMINEM

as seen in a mock Robin suit in his video "Without Me"

[J Dog]

Well, I know. But, still, can anyone make me an avatar of Michael Dukais.

[Donald M.]

Here ya go:

[J Dog]

Here ya go:
Thank you very much. I'll try to get it in as soon as possible.

[StoneGold]

OK, here we go, on the night of his winning an Emmy, Denny Crane!!!

[J Dog]

I managed to find this page & get it back to the front.

Why?

Tommorrow is Voting Day!

[ragnarok_2012]

Remember folks: a vote for Jayne is a vote against the Alliance, Fox and Rupert Murdoch :D

[Gaz]

Remember folks: a vote for Jayne is a vote against the Alliance, Fox and Rupert Murdoch :D
And a vote FOR the people of Canton.
Wheras a vote for Logan is a vote for bumfights, semi-naked Alyson Hannigan being a bitch, and Johnothan Taylor Thomas getting knocked the F out!

[Dizzy D]

Well, it's Tuesday here already, so I'll start voting. In second place comes Mike with his wonderful Rimmer-avatar (my first avatar at CBR was Rimmer, so you can see why I considered voting for him), but in the end I think that Smell's Alan Beresford B'stard captures the spirit of the competition the best:

Alan: Alright, Mother, you can stay. You can live with us till the day you die, or next Sunday, whichever's soonest!
Alan's Mother: Did you hear that! Vailed threats, Sir Piers! I'm frightened to go home with him now, in case he murders me!
Piers: Oh, surely not!
Alan's Mother: He tried before, when he was seven
Alan: I told the Police at the time, I left that roller skate at the top of the stairs by accident!
Alan's Mother: What about the bath of acid at the bottom of the stairs?

[ragnarok_2012]

And a vote FOR the people of Canton.


Exactly!

And everybody wants the movie Serenity to do well, right? :D

[StoneGold]

Remember folks: a vote for Jayne is a vote against the Alliance, Fox and Rupert Murdoch :D
What, we're campaigning now? Isn't that grounds for automatic disqualification or something?

[Gaz]

What, we're campaigning now? Isn't that grounds for automatic disqualification or something?
He's a bastard, so sue him!

[StoneGold]

He's a bastard, so sue him!
I'm Denny Crane, I can. And Denny Crane always wins.



Denny Crane!

[JeffreyWKramer]

Lots of great entries this time around, but I have to go with Jared Humphries and Spider Jerusalem.

[Quarterwolf]

And a vote FOR the people of Canton.
Wheras a vote for Logan is a vote for bumfights, semi-naked Alyson Hannigan being a bitch, and Johnothan Taylor Thomas getting knocked the F out!

Hey Gaz what movie or Show is your avatar from? And is that the name of the actor?

Just kinda wondering.

[Gaz]

Hey Gaz what movie or Show is your avatar from? And is that the name of the actor?

Just kinda wondering.
It's Jason Dohring, here portraying Logan Echols in Veronica Mars, a fine show on UPN (Tuesday nights at 8 or 9, IIRC) :D
Yes, I'm a corporate whore, so?

[Matt]

I'm voting for StoneGold.

Denny Crane.

[Slam_Bradley]

Lots of great entries this time around, but I have to go with Jared Humphries and Spider Jerusalem.

It's still Monday in Iowa.


Trying to go all Euro on us, Doc.

[JeffreyWKramer]

It's still Monday in Iowa.


Trying to go all Euro on us, Doc.


I'm before my time.

[Quarterwolf]

It's Jason Dohring, here portraying Logan Echols in Veronica Mars, a fine show on UPN (Tuesday nights at 8 or 9, IIRC) :D
Yes, I'm a corporate whore, so?

Ahh..I am getting that show on DVD. Kinda like people wait for the trade I wait for the DVD.

Plus I have way to many shows on tap to tape already. I don't need to add another.

[Nitmo]

I won't be online tomorrow, so my vote goes to howyadoin

[dougputhoff]

I gotta go with Greg Hatcher and House. He possesses the medical skills of Hawkeye Pierce and the sardonic with of Charles Emerson Winchester.

[SteelTownr]

Sanagi's Eggplant, that guy used to really piss me off.

H.M. to Dougputhoff for not using my shrinkage.

Mark B.

[Valmore]

I cannot vote for anyone other than dougputhoff. Bobby Knight is THE ultimate bastard.

[Devon C.]

Nitmo's Eminem is my choice. If he is not a jerk, I don't know who is.

[SteelTownr]

Nitmo's Eminem is my choice. If he is not a jerk, I don't know who is.

Nitmo's is just misunderstood.

Mark B.

[Grant]

I'm voting for MacQuarrie's Miles Drentell that guy was pulling Lex Luthor type evil on thirtysomething. I always kept watching it on Lifetime thinking he might unleash a weather machine or a giant robot.

[twilight]

I vote for Mike Smash!

[ragnarok_2012]

I vote for K'Nort. JR Ewing is a GREAT bastard.

[howyadoin]

I vote for K'Nort. JR Ewing is a GREAT bastard.Seconded. I would've voted for Jayne, but he's not really that much of a badass. Or a bastard.

[Fabian]

I vote for Slam Bradley

[MacQuarrie]

Tough call.... in the words of Casey Stengel, "theres a lotta bastards out there."

I like Dogbert, House, Simon Bar Sinister, Eddie Haskell, and a few others, but I think ultimately I have to vote for Bender. Now I have to go look up who had him....

SPAfreak

[StoneGold]

I vote for Howy. Biggest bastard of em all.

[Mike Smash!]

This was a really tough vote for me, with some many good choices.. I almost voted for Rags' Jayne and Beatnik's J. Jonah Jameson, but I've gotta go with

Dizzy D and Edmund Blackadder.

[howyadoin]

I vote for Howy. Biggest bastard of em all.Don't know if it'll help swing anybody's vote, but I am legitimately illegitimate.

[Sanagi]

So many choices!

But I'm throwing my eggplant of voting at Mike Smash!

[Celisasu]

So many bastards. I don't want to vote for any of them because that'd be almost complimenting them. I'll give it to K'Nort though a lot of people give a nice run this week.

[Bouncing Boy]

I'm voting for Greg's House avatar. Hugh Laurie makes a wonderful bastard.

[Smell]

My vote goes to Nitmo, that Eminem pic is a great one.


And I'd like to thank Dizzy D for my first ever vote!


Dom

smells a bastard

[Stony]

Exactly!

And everybody wants the movie Serenity to do well, right? :D
Not me! I got good money on that flick bombing like Bush's approval ratings!

[J Dog]

After a long thing, I have decided to vote for:

Michael Pullmann for his Dr. Clayton Susan Deborah Forrester avatar

[leigh_ann1982]

I probably would've voted for Justy if he had gone with Catbert over Dogbert, because all HR personnel are inherently evil, human-hating bastards . . . so I'm going to have to go with SPAfreak's Bender instead.

[Donald M.]

SPAfreak.

Loves me some Bender.

[Spackling Compound]

Dreadstar has my vote. Chet is the bastard of bastards. In the office I used to work in, any guy that tried to sell us products with a hard sell or any guy with a crewcut was nicknamed "Chet".

"Who was that at the door?"
"Some Chet. I got rid of him."

[GremlinClr]

My vote goes to ragnarok_2012 and the man they call Jayne!

[borateen]

As stated before, my vote goes to ragnarok.

[west3man]

Sanagi gets my vote for choosing that absolute BASTARD... the Eggplant Wizard. That bastard made my 13-year-old video game life a living HELL. ;)

I know of no other game in which you're on your way through a maze to beat the boss, but purple bastards who simply TOUCH YOU can turn you into a walking friggin' eggplant, with no arms and no ability to defend yourself... until you find your way back through the maze to one of the hospitals, to be healed... then start, again.

Kid Icarus is one AWESOME game.



GremlinClr's Dr. Smith, SPAfreak's Bender, and Steeltownr's PotA reference were pretty damned bastard-like, though.

[Greg Hatcher]

Ragnarok for the hero of Canton.

[SPAfreak]

Dr. Cox is my favorite TV bastard. Borateen gets my vote.

[Guapo Méndez]

Borateen. I watch Scrubs only to see what Dr. Cox is going to say.

[Paradox]

Definitely Dizzy D and Blackadder for me! Funniest bastard I ever saw!

[Gaz]

I ruh-huh-heally want Borateen and Dr Cox to win, Anabelle, so get it done!
(You should have done a double team and got someone else to pick Jordan Sullivan or Dr Kelso, Bob Kelso...)

[Slam_Bradley]

This was a very close call between Dread and K'Nort. But in the end, Chet and "Yer stewed, Buttwads" won out.

Vote to Dreadstar.

[HomerJay]

I really liked Dread's, but I'm voting for Sanagi's Eggplant Wizard. Very original & it cracked me up.

[J Dog]

However, although I voted for Michael Pullmann, I would give congrats to:

Sanjai for his Eggplant Wizard. I'm creating a game on My Adventure Game (see my sig) called "The Cave: Survival at Most", and I'd like to have Sanjai give me a few pics of the Eggplant Wizard as a playable enemy (you'll battle it around the Desert Palace, and if the eggplants get you, you'll have to heal from a sanctum).

The guy who has Dr. Cox. And, I loved your sig.

The guy (SteelTownr) for his Planet of the Apes avatar of the orangatan slave trader.

And... lastly... to the man with Bender. He will win it.

[Lex]

Voting for Sanagi.

[Citrus-Man]

I'm going to have to do the biased thing and vote for my pal Beatnikman this time. Not only is JJJ one of my favorite bastards, but it's a great avatar, and the "I trust my barber" title wraps it up for me.

Good job, bro. It makes me wish I'd thought of a bastard from comics, like Guy Gardner.

[Gaz]

I'm going to have to do the biased thing and vote for my pal Beatnikman this time. Not only is JJJ one of my favorite bastards, but it's a great avatar, and the "I trust my barber" title wraps it up for me.

Good job, bro. It makes me wish I'd thought of a bastard from comics, like Guy Gardner.
Or Superman! DAMNIT, why didn't I think of that sooner?

[K'Nort]

I'm voting for Night's Q. He was a jerk and a half.

[west3man]

Or Superman! DAMNIT, why didn't I think of that sooner?
Ha! That would've been a good one.

I was pretty surprised I didn't see a Lionel Luthor entry. He and that mother from "Rome" are among the bigger bastards that spring to mind, at the moment. If they turned people into eggplants, they'd be shoe-in's. ;)

[borateen]

Dr. Cox is my favorite TV bastard. Borateen gets my vote.

Thanks, Nancy.

[borateen]

Borateen. I watch Scrubs only to see what Dr. Cox is going to say.

You too, Wilma.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

I vote for Dizzy D's Blackadder avatar. An old favorite:


Baldrick: But sir, I've been in your family since 1572!

Blackadder: So has syphilis, now get out!

[west3man]

I vote for Dizzy D's Blackadder avatar. An old favorite:


Baldrick: But sir, I've been in your family since 1572!

Blackadder: So has syphilis, now get out!
That is frickin' hiLARious.

[Huh?]

I cast my vote for Dreadstar's Chet. Bill Paxton played a great bastard back then.

Also, don't forget, if you win to post your avatar and the caption you used in the hall of fame thread on the community board so I can update the blog.

[Beatnikman]

I'd like to offer Dreadstar a nice greasy pork sandwhich, served on a dirty ashtray. But since that's still a bit of a challenge to send as an email attachment, he'll have to settle for my vote.

Chet's an all-time classic.

[Night]

Normally I don't vote for an avatar that changed midstream... but Nitmo's Eminem gets my vote.

[Citrus-Man]

Or Superman! DAMNIT, why didn't I think of that sooner?

Good point. Oh, the Superdickery to be used...

[Dreadstar]

Borateen.

That guy just epitomizes "bastard".

[K'Nort]

Borateen.

That guy just epitomizes "bastard".

So does Dr Cox, for that matter.

[Slam_Bradley]

Borateen.

That guy just epitomizes "bastard".


You're voting for the avatar, not the poster.




We kid because we care.

[phoenixrising]

Borateen...because Dr. Cox is exactly that.

[Justy]

I am throwing in with Dizzy D and Blackadder.

Many great avatars this week.

[Sanagi]

Sanjai for his Eggplant Wizard. I'm creating a game on My Adventure Game (see my sig) called "The Cave: Survival at Most", and I'd like to have Sanjai give me a few pics of the Eggplant Wizard as a playable enemy (you'll battle it around the Desert Palace, and if the eggplants get you, you'll have to heal from a sanctum).
You can find all the sprites for Kid Icarus at The Shyguy Kingdom (http://tsgk.captainn.net/?d=game&s=NES&g=Kid%20Icarus) if that's what you're looking for. I don't know how much editing it'd take to get them into that game thing, though. Certainly some cut & paste.

[Dizzy D]

I guess voting is closed?

The score so far:
With 44 posters giving votes to 20 different avatars the winner is....


Borateen with his Dr. Cox's avatar. 5 posters voted for him. Thanks to a strong sprint at the end he beat Sanagi's Eggplant Wizard, the favourite so far.

In a shared second place with 4 votes are:
Dreadstar (Chet), Sanagi (Eggplant Wizard) and myself (Blackadder)

3 votes were given to:
Ragnarok's Jayne, SPAFreak's Bender, K'Nort's J.R. and Nitmo's Eminem.

2 votes were given to:
Howyadoin (as himself), Greg Hatcher (House) and Mike Smash! (Rimmer)

And the following posters each got 1 vote:
Smell (Alan B'stard), Jared Humphries (Spider Jerusalem), StoneGold (Denny Crane), Dougputoff (Bobby Knight), MacQuarrie (Miles Drentell), Slam Bradley (William the Bastard), Michael Pullman (Dr. Clayton Forrester), Beatnikman (JJJ) and Night (Q)

On a personal note I would like to thank Paradox, Justy, Dr. Hfuhruhurr and Mike Smash! for their votes.

Apologies should I have misspelled your name or the name of your avatar.

[Paradox]

Dizzy D was robbed:

On a personal note I would like to thank Paradox, Justy, Dr. Hfuhruhurr and Mike Smash! for their votes.

Apologies should I have misspelled your name or the name of your avatar.

No problem, and I always cut and paste the names when I do the count. Dr. Huffenpuff hates it when you misspell his name. :p

[Dizzy D]

No problem, and I always cut and paste the names when I do the count. Dr. Huffenpuff hates it when you misspell his name. :p

For the good doctor, I immediately went to copy&paste. I'm not even trying to spell that.

[Paradox]

**kicks Borateen's bed**

C'mon, get up! We need a new topic! We haven't got all MINUTE!!!

**gets daggers looked at from Mrs. Borateen**

Ulp!

[Typo Lad]

**kicks Borateen's bed**

C'mon, get up! We need a new topic! We haven't got all MINUTE!!!

**gets daggers looked at from Mrs. Borateen**

Ulp!

That's not daggers... she wants to know what you were doing in their bedroom.

And what that whirring noise is.

[leigh_ann1982]

**kicks Borateen's bed**

C'mon, get up! We need a new topic! We haven't got all MINUTE!!!

**gets daggers looked at from Mrs. Borateen**

Ulp!

Until then Typo Lad will entertain us with a Vaudeville-style act!

*nudges* You're on in five!

[Typo Lad]

Okay, okay... quit shoving.

So the other day I was walking with my wife when we bumped into a girl I used to know. We talked for a bit and then parted ways. The girl seemed a bit overly familiar so my wife asked if we had dated.

"Oh no, she's just old Pilot Light."

"Why do you call her that?"

"She's an old flame that stayed lit."

[Slam_Bradley]

"She's an old flame that stayed lit."

No really....he killed 'em in the Catskills folks.



With a machete, he did.

[leigh_ann1982]

Okay, okay... quit shoving.

So the other day I was walking with my wife when we bumped into a girl I used to know. We talked for a bit and then parted ways. The girl seemed a bit overly familiar so my wife asked if we had dated.

"Oh no, she's just old Pilot Light."

"Why do you call her that?"

"She's an old flame that stayed lit."

The bit was cute, but I don't understand why you insisted on performing it in ladies' undergarments?

[Paradox]

leigh_ann1982 is just begging for trouble:

The bit was cute, but I don't understand why you insisted on performing it in ladies' undergarments?

Don't ask...just be grateful it's not that damned monkey outfit again.

Or worse...the cow! :eek:

[Typo Lad]

The bit was cute, but I don't understand why you insisted on performing it in ladies' undergarments?

Well, you see, they make me feel secure.

Plus, they lift AND seperate.

You can't get that from a pair of boxers.

[Typo Lad]

No really....he killed 'em in the Catskills folks.

With a machete, he did.

I didn't know there were any witnesses!

Here Slam, have a cookie.

What kind?

Well, it sort of tastes like almond, but just a bit.

[borateen]

Seriously? I won? And here I thought everyone was voting for the Blackadder avatar. Huh. Go figure.

Look for a new contest up as soon as I think of one. So keep your pants on 'dox...ESPECIALLY if you're in my bedroom. No one wants to see that so early in the morning.

[Typo Lad]

No one wants to see that so early in the morning.

Suzannah? Why are you using borateen's account?

[borateen]

Suzannah? Why are you using borateen's account?

There are just too many damn people in my bedroom right now.

[Dizzy D]

Seriously? I won? And here I thought everyone was voting for the Blackadder avatar. Huh. Go figure.

Look for a new contest up as soon as I think of one. So keep your pants on 'dox...ESPECIALLY if you're in my bedroom. No one wants to see that so early in the morning.

Not really, I got a couple of votes early on, but Sanagi's Eggplant Wizard was in the lead for a long time. Your Dr. Cox and Dreadstar's Chet got a lot of votes near the end and I did get Justy's vote as well there to sneak into a shared 2nd place.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

No problem, and I always cut and paste the names when I do the count. Dr. Huffenpuff hates it when you misspell his name. :p

Almost. Just put the brakes on a little earlier...

[J Dog]

You can find all the sprites for Kid Icarus at The Shyguy Kingdom (http://tsgk.captainn.net/?d=game&s=NES&g=Kid%20Icarus) if that's what you're looking for. I don't know how much editing it'd take to get them into that game thing, though. Certainly some cut & paste.
Actually, it's text based gaming. I would post the pictures from my file onto a few pages.