I Pleasured My Wife In a New Way Last Night.

[Typo Lad]

Yesterday I had my six-month review at my new job. I’m now off probation. It was a good review, and left me feeling pretty good about myself.

I also discovered that we have enough mileage accumulated for Suzannah and Daphna to visit her folks for Chanukah. This made her feel good, and made me feel even better.

So last night, I decided to do something special. Something different. Something I’d never done for her before.

She loved it, too.

So, to all the husbands/boyfriends out there, show your lady how much she means to you tonight…

And grill a big fat steak dinner.

[Dom]

I was all ready to learn some new tricks.

DAMN YOU, MORTS!


DAMN YOU!!!

[Typo Lad]

I was all ready to learn some new tricks.

The trick is to put the A1 on while it's still on the grill.

I didn't have a chance to whip up any sides though. Shoulda got steak fries.

[Arrjay]

Sorry, don't do steak. Maybe a pizza? I....mmmm pizza.

[Dom]

The trick is to put the A1 on while it's still on the grill.

I didn't have a chance to whip up any sides though. Shoulda got steak fries.

I like a nice baked potato. There's a steakhouse down here that has baked potatoes the size of feet.

[nubly]

whatever you do, dont buy her a toy thats bigger than you. it'll make you obsolete

[Typo Lad]

Sorry, don't do steak. Maybe a pizza? I....mmmm pizza.

Hey, if you swing that way I guess it's cool. Not my thing though.

[west3man]

Sorry, don't do steak. Maybe a pizza? I....mmmm pizza.
Lena's gonna GET YOU for that! lol

[Arrjay]

Lena's gonna GET YOU for that! lol

Yeah. It was kinda cheap. I deserve it.

[i_mmmchocolate]

Lena's gonna GET YOU for that! lol

heh heh, so long as it didn't end with 'chocolate'.

Besides, imitation is the highest form of flattery!


Steak, Typo? You beast!

[The Defenestrator]

Ladies do like a man who can cook. Good job, Typo Lad!

Wifey beats me when I burn her grilled cheese. :(

[Typo Lad]

Steak, Typo? You beast!

Ahhhhh yeaaaah.

Shoulder steak, too.

Next time, I'm learning how to make a mess o'ribs.

[Arrjay]

Ladies do like a man who can cook. Good job, Typo Lad!

Wifey beats me when I burn her grilled cheese. :(

I can cook. It's not something I do often though. Vego stuff is easy to cook.

[Typo Lad]

Ladies do like a man who can cook. Good job, Typo Lad!

Ladies don't like men who forget to clean the grill though. I may be in negative points now.

STUPID GEORGE FORMAN! WHY DO THE PLATES NOT COME OFF FOR EASY WASHING?!

Wifey beats me when I burn her grilled cheese. :(

If there's a Costco near you, you have to stop by and grab this awesome multi-grain bread they sell. it makes Grilled Cheese taste like heaven.

[Typo Lad]

I can cook. It's not something I do often though. Vego stuff is easy to cook.

"Oh look. Salad. Again."

"Ah-ah-ah! You didn't notice the side dish!"

"...is that salad?"

"Yes, but it's Ceaser!"

[i_mmmchocolate]

If there's a Costco near you, you have to stop by and grab this awesome multi-grain bread they sell. it makes Grilled Cheese taste like heaven.

Believe him, folks. It's the best mult-grain bread ever for grilled cheese. In fact, I may drive to Spring Valley today just to buy it. Yum!

[Dan Apodaca]

Ladies don't like men who forget to clean the grill though. I may be in negative points now.

STUPID GEORGE FORMAN! WHY DO THE PLATES NOT COME OFF FOR EASY WASHING?!

I hear the new ones are dishwasher-safe.

[Typo Lad]

Believe him, folks. It's the best mult-grain bread ever for grilled cheese. In fact, I may drive to Spring Valley today just to buy it. Yum!

Ours got moldy.

CURSE YOU, OVERLY HUMID KITCHEN!

I even had bought filling for my Mordechai Sandwiches.

[Typo Lad]

I hear the new ones are dishwasher-safe.

But I already own one... and I don't have a dishwasher for it to be safe in!

[Royal]

The trick is to put the A1 on while it's still on the grill.

*gasp* Blasphamy. A1 is a condemint!!

I didn't have a chance to whip up any sides though. Shoulda got steak fries.

What you do is get 3-4 good sized potatos, cut them all in half & slice them into wedges. Sprinkle some salt on them & a favorite herb or spice. You throw it in the oven for 10-15 minutes or until they look golden. Take them out & serve.

You got country fries.

[Typo Lad]

*gasp* Blasphamy. A1 is a condemint!!

It makes a right-nice marinade too.

What you do is get 3-4 good sized potatos, cut them all in half & slice them into wedges. Sprinkle some salt on them & a favorite herb or spice. You throw it in the oven for 10-15 minutes or until they look golden. Take them out & serve.

You got country fries.

Thank you, Martha! I'll do that with the ribs.

[Beatnikman]

It makes a right-nice marinade too.
If you're using good enough cuts of meat, you don't need to marinade, just season.

But next time, give this a go (instead of A-1).

In a medium skillet, combine one bottle of pomegranate juice, maybe a quarter cup of port, a pinch of salt, maybe a quarter teaspoon of sugar (or maybe half a teaspoon of honey), and a couple of cloves of finely minced (or better yet, micro-grated) garlic. If you wanted to use a little olive oil, that would be okay. Let simmer for 45 minutes to an hour until it reduces to a nice syrupy consistency. Then you can drizzle some of the pomegranate reduction sauce over the meat after you plate it. Tasty stuff.


Thank you, Martha! I'll do that with the ribs.
Do you have a plan for cooking the ribs, or are you looking for suggestions?

[Typo Lad]

If you're using good enough cuts of meat, you don't need to marinade, just season.

It WAS more of a season that a marinade, now that I think of it. A light basting on each side.

In a medium skillet, combine one bottle of pomegranate juice, maybe a quarter cup of port....

Alas, Kosher Port is something like $99 a bottle. VERY hard to find, especially any that's half decent.

Do you have a plan for cooking the ribs, or are you looking for suggestions?

Suggestions are always welcome!

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Ours got moldy.

CURSE YOU, OVERLY HUMID KITCHEN!

I even had bought filling for my Mordechai Sandwiches.

You name your sandwiches after yourself?

[Paradox]

FunkyGreenJerusalem seems to think Morts has crossed a line:

You name your sandwiches after yourself?

Of course!

My toll-house variation has the name Stevie Cookies around my house (no, I didn't name them that), so why not a sammich?

What's IN the filling of a Mordechai Sammich?

[Devon C.]

Yesterday I had my six-month review at my new job. I’m now off probation. It was a good review, and left me feeling pretty good about myself.

I also discovered that we have enough mileage accumulated for Suzannah and Daphna to visit her folks for Chanukah. This made her feel good, and made me feel even better.

So last night, I decided to do something special. Something different. Something I’d never done for her before.

She loved it, too.

So, to all the husbands/boyfriends out there, show your lady how much she means to you tonight…

And grill a big fat steak dinner.
Thanks Morts. I thought that this would be a sex-based thread.....how silly of me.

[Paradox]

Devon Campbell should read between the lines:

Thanks Morts. I thought that this would be a sex-based thread.....how silly of me.

Maybe it is, just in disguise. He never does mention what they had for...dessert. :evilsmile

[Devon C.]

Maybe it is, just in disguise. He never does mention what they had for...dessert. :evilsmile
Great. Now how am I supposed to sleep with this on my brain?

[Paradox]

Devon Campbell is disturbed:

Great. Now how am I supposed to sleep with this on my brain?

Well, if you've seen pictures of Suzannah, then not on your stomach. :D

Morts being in the picture does pose some difficulty, but you can just mentally edit him out. Crap! There's that "covetting" thing again. ;)

[Devon C.]

Well, if you've seen pictures of Suzannah, then not on your stomach. :D

Morts being in the picture does pose some difficulty, but you can just mentally edit him out. Crap! There's that "covetting" thing again. ;)
Well. It's official. I have just been mentally knocked out. *Cue the 10-Count, and ringing of the bell*

[leigh_ann1982]

Great. Now how am I supposed to sleep with this on my brain?

Lather. Rinse. Repeat if necessary.

(I was hoping it was sex thread, but part of me new better. Curse you, Typo Lad and your suggestive title!)

[Royal]

Suggestions are always welcome!

Pressure cook those bad boys with your favorite dry rub.

don't mess with me son. I learned from the best!

http://www.fleatique.com/catalogimg/items/20884-a.jpg

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Lather. Rinse. Repeat if necessary.

(I was hoping it was sex thread, but part of me new better. Curse you, Typo Lad and your suggestive title!)

What?
There isn't enough other ones on the board at the moment for you?

[leigh_ann1982]

What?
There isn't enough other ones on the board at the moment for you?

Dude, it's been 6 months. 6 months! The best reproductive years of life wasted! WASTED!

*cries bitterly*

[Deathstroke]

Kinda makes it weird if she's saying oh god oh god and it's about the dinner....

[Justin Davis]

Ahhhhh yeaaaah.

Shoulder steak, too.

Next time, I'm learning how to make a mess o'ribs.

You do that, and you can pleasure me in a new way.

. . . That didn't sound right.


I'm taking Kristina out tonight to a fancy restaurant that is suppose to have really good food and great ethnic choices we can't get elsewhere in his crappy little town she lives in right now to get her MBA.

[StoneGold]

That's inventive. I mean, when I pleasured your wife I just used sex.


Hey-o!!!

[JeffreyWKramer]

Kinda makes it weird if she's saying oh god oh god and it's about the dinner....

Especially if it was zuchhini or cucumbers or sausage.

[Devon C.]

That's inventive. I mean, when I pleasured your wife I just used sex.


Hey-o!!!
Zing!


10 count.

[Smell]

I'm going to pleasure Sally tonight too - and she's been begging for it - my Vegetarian Chili!

Green lentils, onion, garlic, cumin, chili powder, chilies, lots of tomatoes, stock, peppers, mushroom, corgette and a pinch of salt and pepper to taste all served on a bed (huh, he said bed) of rice, basmati, not that soggy long grain.

After a mouthful of what I'm going to serve up, she won't be kissing anyone else for weeks!

Dom

smells hot

[Deathstroke]

Especially if it was zuchhini or cucumbers or sausage.


You are a funny man!

[Gaz]

Dude, it's been 6 months. 6 months! The best reproductive years of life wasted! WASTED!

*cries bitterly*
OK, that is just WRONG.
Dr Kramer, what would you prescribe a woman in this situation? ;)

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Dude, it's been 6 months. 6 months! The best reproductive years of life wasted! WASTED!

*cries bitterly*

One could say that about mine too, but at least I enjoyed them.

6 months though... wow.... It's kinda hard to know what to say to that one...
Ouch maybe?... Ring an ex?... Lower your standards...
I dunno, but try not to smash too many things in the mean time.

[JeffreyWKramer]

OK, that is just WRONG.
Dr Kramer, what would you prescribe a woman in this situation? ;)

Well, I'd certainly be glad to consult with her and see if I can't help her with that problem. Between me and my loyal assistant, juli, I'm sure we could help her out.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Well, I'd certainly be glad to consult with her and see if I can't help her with that problem. Between me and my loyal assistant, juli, I'm sure we could help her out.

You just give and you give and you still just keep giving.

You are a saint Jeffrey Kramer, a selfless saint.

[leigh_ann1982]

You just give and you give and you still just keep giving.

You are a saint Jeffrey Kramer, a selfless saint.

He is a good samaritan. It's not a problem of obtaining sex though, it's a problem of obtaining sex from someone I love. I've done the casual sex thing; I found it overrated. Actually, overrated is an understatement. It was unengaging and completely uninteresting. Not because it wasn't physically pleasing, just because it was sex with absolutely no attatchment. If all I wanted was a physical release, I could do that by myself (and quicker, easier, and better too). I've tried lowering my standards for relationship material; that always seems to bite me back in the end. The last three prior relationships are more indicative of the need for higher standards. You got anything in your bag o' tricks for a lovesick heart, Doc?

[Beatnikman]

Alas, Kosher Port is something like $99 a bottle. VERY hard to find, especially any that's half decent.
That's a drag, but if you have any other options of red wines on the sweet side, those'd probably work just fine. My wife said it was okay to say that the pomegranate reduction sauce pleasures her just fine.


Suggestions are always welcome!
There are a bunch of ways to go with ribs, but since you cooked your steaks inside, I'm going to assume you don't have either a large smoker or an outdoor grill. Is that right?

For indoor ribs, it's tough to go wrong with Alton Brown's recipe (right here (http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_11125,00.html)), but since you'll be substituting beef ribs, I'd probably up the oven temperature to 275 or even 300 (just because they're bigger).

If you're in a little more of a hurry, you can boil them for 15-20 minutes, pull them out, season them then (more on that in a second), then put then sauce them (with his, or any not-terribly-thick barbecue sauce), cover them in foil, and put them in the oven.

For a dry rub for ribs, I'll usually mix salt, pepper, paprika, garlic powder, onion powder, a little chipotle chili powder, some brown sugar, and then I've got this creole seasoning (http://www.tonychachere.com/store/i/products/b/seasoning-original.jpg) that I use for just about everything.

Everybody's got a different strategy for ribs, and frankly, a lot of them are really good. But I've been pretty happy with this one.

[StoneGold]

He is a good samaritan. It's not a problem of obtaining sex though, it's a problem of obtaining sex from someone I love. I've done the casual sex thing; I found it overrated. Actually, overrated is an understatement. It was unengaging and completely uninteresting. Not because it wasn't physically pleasing, just because it was sex with absolutely no attatchment. If all I wanted was a physical release, I could do that by myself (and quicker, easier, and better too). I've tried lowering my standards for relationship material; that always seems to bite me back in the end. The last three prior relationships are more indicative of the need for higher standards. You got anything in your bag o' tricks for a lovesick heart, Doc?
Sounds to me like you need a good dose of Vitamin F

http://www.jograham.com/animgall/media/theater/actors/comedy/farley/cfarley4a.gif http://www.jograham.com/animgall/media/theater/actors/comedy/farley/cfarley6a.gif


Come to Farley!