Postcards from the X-Men

[Kirayoshi]

Dear Pro-Registration Heroes:

Now you know what it's like to be us!

Sucks, don't it?

Laughing behind your collective backs,
The mutants

[Flight]

Dear Black Panther
U R A SKANK
Love, Rogue
xoxo

[Karl H]

Dear X-men

I'm still here. I eventually got out of that god-damned building I was stuck in with Charlotte Jones. Live isn't too great for Puerto-Rican doctors at the moment..

PLEASE BRING ME BACK

Cecillia Reyes

[xgeek52]

dear scott and emma:

get ready, jean's comin' back...

sincerely,

a friend...

[Brian M.]

Dear Emma,

I'm sorry to inform you but we could not produce a diaper big enough to fit your needs. Maybe someone else will be able to help you out. We understand that when Mrs. Summers comes back you will sh*t yourself, but we can not make a diaper big enough.

Sincerely,

Huggies.

[Karl H]

Dear X-men

I apologise for my completely out of character actions in recent month in siding with Tony Stark during the Civil War. You are all legends to me and I apologise for getting ideas above my station and calling myself an Avenger.

Please let me come back.

Bishop

I'd even let Captain America stomp my taint again were he alive.

[Brian M.]

Dear X-men

I apologise for my completely out of character actions in recent month in siding with Tony Stark during the Civil War. You are all legends to me and I apologise for getting ideas above my station and calling myself an Avenger.

Please let me come back.

Bishop

I'd even let Captain America stomp my taint again were he alive.

Dear Bishop,

Kiss it. Kiss my white ass and you can come back. I mean it literally. Kiss it.

Emperor of all X-Men,
Cyclops

[xgeek52]

dear ms. pryde:

in regards to your candidacy for the city council we're all for it..

maybe you'll become president someday...

regarad,

friends of kitty pryde

[Flight]

dear ms. pryde:

in regards to your candidacy for the city council we're all for it..

maybe you'll become president someday...

regarad,

friends of kitty pryde Thats so rubbish! :confused:

[AnkaleRa]

Dear Kurt,

Family dinner on Friday. All your friends are welcome.

Sincerely,
~Dad

Oh man! I love this one! Short and sweet, but totally hilarious!

I'm gonna try one as well:


Dear Lorna,

Last night was amazing! Did Apocalypse also teach you how to do that with your tongue? Sorry for being a douche and trying to stop you from f***ing me good. I think I've been hanging out with Bobby too much.

Waiting for more,
Alex

[Kaos]

Dear Scott,

You know I don't why they call this the White HOT Room. It's really not that hot. I just wanted to tell you that the reason you and Ms. Frost are so happily in love is that I wanted it to happen, it was kinda a choice between you and Slut Queen or a horrible horrible future that makes any our kids are from look like a trip to Disney Land, not World, that Paris version is worse than this future. Sooooo you really don't love her and I'll be back sometime around next summer, say July 2006. Till than, keep my clothes washed and my sheets clean, I'll be back soon.

Love Jean Grey-Summers

P.S. Tell Rachael good choice on the name and Logan that what he's doing w/ my old uniforms is just creepy.

BUAHAHAHAHA...nooo such luck.

[xgeek52]

dear ms pryde:

in regard to your city council race, should you succeed you might want to consider a run for mayor...your success there will lead you to the highest office in the land if you are so incline...

think about it...

regards

friend of kitty pryde...


cc:flight
*check the end series by claremont*

[Sentinel K]

dear ms pryde:

in regard to your city council race, should you succeed you might want to consider a run for mayor...your success there will lead you to the highest office in the land if you are so incline...

think about it...

regards

friend of kitty pryde...


cc:flight
*check the end series by claremont*


Oh I'm sure he got it.

It was just a bit crap.

[xgeek52]

crap or not it fitted the character and the claremont's story line...

that's what i liked...

[Flight]

crap or not it fitted the character and the claremont's story line... But does it fit this thread...?

A: No.

[xgeek52]

dear xmen:

i know you were there to honor me but i just wanna say thanks for all the times you were there for me...

i know a lot of us aren't here now but the the dream that the professor sought has now been fullfilled...

you here and the others not here made that possible and i won't forget it...

humble thanks,

katherine pryde
president of the united states

[Mikl C]

No Rly, Wtffffff? ..

[Brett P]

lol, so looking at the first post, it seems the idea of the thread was to guess who sent the first "postcard"? So who was it?

[streator]

a few that popped into my head (not sure if they've already been done and don't feel like checking):

Dear Bobby,

FLAME ON!!!!!!!!!

- J


Dearest Logan,

Oh my stars and garters, you really are the best at what you do.

- Hank


/obvious and lame, probably

[madrox1977]

Dear Jean,

As you keep popping back and forth from the afterlife, could you pass a message to Synch....your da bomb!!

Lots of love Jubilee xx

[Pro]

Dear Celestials,

I'm not bending over for you.

Toodles,
Apocalypse.

[Flight]

lol, so looking at the first post, it seems the idea of the thread was to guess who sent the first "postcard"? So who was it? It was someone "Sinister"...

ANSWER REVEALED HERE >>>>>Boom Boom! <<<<< EREH DELAEVER REWSNA

[Flight]

More postcards please.

[Ice_Cold_Emma_Frost]

Darling Blindfold,

Breakworld sucks! Can not wait to get home from summer camp. Hope you and the other students are doing something fun!

Hisako

[Brian "Vash" Ashby]

Dear Molly Hayes

You should join the X-men so we could get together and go for movie or something

Love and Kisses

Colossus

[Omega Alpha]

Dear Molly Hayes

You should join the X-men so we could get together and go for movie or something

Love and Kisses

Archangel


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Molly Hayes

You should join the X-men so we could get together and go for movie or something

Love and Kisses

Wolverine

[Slung]

Dear Molly Hayes

You should join the X-men so we could get together and go for movie or something

Love and Kisses

Archangel


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Molly Hayes

You should join the X-men so we could get together and go for movie or something

Love and Kisses

Wolverine

Dear Molly Hayes

You should join the X-men so we could mentally revisit the death of your parents and I could manipulate you into being a master assassin.

Love and Kisses

Emma Frost

PS: you'll get a pony and a bodyguard. Both will die and it will be all your fault.

[Flâneur]

Dear Molly Hayes

You should join the X-men so we could get together and go for movie or something

Love and Kisses,
Professor Xavier

---

Dear Scott

I have syphillis.

Love and Kisses,
The White Queen of the Hellfire Club

[CJ Lentze]

Dear Johnny Storm,

Remember how you always used to mock me, saying: "Ah, ya wuss! You'd never dare fight me! You always talk so big with your ice slides and ice shields, well let's scrap sometime and find out what happens when I melt you and THEN vaporize you!"
Well, I recently found out what happens. LET's scrap.

Iceman.

[Hi-Fi]

hgjybnhsa Lorna,

hasdkasbdon.SMODFSAkhijlipnbiç,lhhjsakjk
dsakjdkaosçkdsjkjdfsaldksaçf,ij,sdfkasdf,sçdfefdhs fds
fjakhs,fnds.anfidsjhaDKNhgjlet's fuckdsufalmds

shabbydgn,

Daap

[Flight]

hgjybnhsa Lorna,

hasdkasbdon.SMODFSAkhijlipnbiç,lhhjsakjk
dsakjdkaosçkdsjkjdfsaldksaçf,ij,sdfkasdf,sçdfefdhs fds
fjakhs,fnds.anfidsjhaDKNhgjlet's fuckdsufalmds

shabbydgn,

Daap What a naughty little minXxX Daap is!!!!!~~

[Novaya Havoc]

HAY SAM!!!

I'm in the AJHDSKRULL!11010 Nebula, rockin it out on my super-galactic world tour! I hear you're with the X-Men, and I have to say that is totally razor.

I miss you bunches and bunches and bunches! I just bought these really cool leather boots and lost a tooth. I'm gonna make it big like Amy Winehouse! If only I could be half as cute!

xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo

Lila Cheney!!11

p.s., don't get too close to Iceman! You'll soon feel my kankles rubbing all over your hot corn-fed bod soon enough!

[Novaya Havoc]

Lila,

Please stop messaging me on Friendster. No one with taste uses it.

-Sam

[Hi-Fi]

Lila,

Please stop messaging me on Friendster. No one with taste uses it.

-Sam
LOL LOL LOL!

[Hi-Fi]

Dear Ali,

Sage just sent me some pictures of your new look! I can't believe you didn't sent me first! You go rock that new hairdo, girlfriend!

Kisses,

Lila

[Novaya Havoc]

Dear Ali,

Sage just sent me some pictures of your new look! I can't believe you didn't sent me first! You go rock that new hairdo, girlfriend!

Kisses,

Lila

Lila,

Don't message me ever again. I'm not into that. I've told you a thousand times. Get the hint already, "girlfriend."

-Ali

p.s. It's not cool to call me your "girlfriend" when you're pushing 50.

[Brian "Vash" Ashby]

Dear Dazzler,

I hear you are into chicks now. Friggin' sweet. You have any videos you can send me? I know the legal age in england is 16 so, i guess that will do

Your former bassist,
Hunch

PS. All that electonica pop stuff sucks. You need a band. And i need a job.

[Flâneur]

Lila,

Please stop messaging me on Friendster. No one with taste uses it.

-Sam

Lila,

Don't message me ever again. I'm not into that. I've told you a thousand times. Get the hint already, "girlfriend."

-Ali

p.s. It's not cool to call me your "girlfriend" when you're pushing 50.
Bahahaha, oh my. Best. Post(s). Evah.

[Zombienorthstar]

Lila,

Don't message me ever again. I'm not into that. I've told you a thousand times. Get the hint already, "girlfriend."

-Ali

p.s. It's not cool to call me your "girlfriend" when you're pushing 50.

Dear Ali,

I'm fairly sure you were in your early twenties during the mid seventies. Way to do maths there! You know what they say about projection!

Lila

[Faded]

Dear Xavier Institute, et al.

Stop sending me lame ass postcards! :mad:

Loves you!
Molly Hayes

[Ice_Cold_Emma_Frost]

Dear elixir,

I am wundering if you know how to cure the herpes

Colossus

[Pro]

Dear Bishop,

You remember that time i made a joke? I want to spice up my posts on this x-men fansite but i'm afraid people will think it's strange if i quote myself.

Sage out.

[Flight]

Dear X-Mansion,

Salut!

Jean-Marie.

[Deus ex Chris]

Dear Doc Samson,

I know I've missed like twenty sessions, but the voices in my head told me to stay in space. I'll text you when I get back.

Lorna

P.S. The voices in my head send their love to the voices in Pietro's and Wanda's heads. Please let them know.

[TinMan]

Dear elixir,

I am wundering if you know how to cure the herpes

Colossus

Dear Colossus,

Sorry I gave you herpes.

Emma Frost

[Deus ex Chris]

Dear Colossus,

Sorry I gave you herpes.

Emma Frost

Dear Emma,

I'm pretty sure I got it from Iceman. The closet is so unsafe...and stuffy.

Peter

[TinMan]

Dear Emma,

I'm pretty sure I got it from Iceman. The closet is so stuffy...and dangerous.

Peter

Dear Peter,

I believe you have confused yourself with me again. Ultimate Peter is gay, 616 Piotr (me) is currently breaking Katya's hips.

Piotr

[Kalen O.]

Dear Peter,

I believe you have confused yourself with me again. Ultimate Peter is gay, 616 Piotr (me) is currently breaking Katya's hips.

Piotr

Dear Piotr,

The term 616 is so passe. Keep up.

T. Brevoort

[caney]

Dear X-Mansion,

Salut!

Jean-Marie.

Dear Jeanne-Marie,

A big S'lut back at ya, honey! I like it when you play rough with me. Next time you visit, leave the brother at home so we can be alone.

The X-Mansion.

P.S. Please forward this to your kinky personality. You know, the one that lets me stick the thing all the way up your... well, you know.

[TinMan]

Dear Piotr,

The term 616 is so passe. Keep up.

T. Brevoort

Dear Mr. Brevoort,

Excuse me, even though I have lived in the U.S. for many years, my english is still not so good... at least under Joss Whedon's pen. I meant to say Marvel Universe as opposed to the Ultimate Universe. Many pardons.

Piotr

P.S. Perhaps you should join weight watchers, da?

[Brian M.]

Dear Kitty,

Just got Astonishing #21...you didn't have that body when I was with you.

Pete Wisdom

[Deus ex Chris]

Dear Peter,

I believe you have confused yourself with me again. Ultimate Peter is gay, 616 Piotr (me) is currently breaking Katya's hips.

Piotr

Dear Peter,

Mark Millar got the homo idea from a seed planted in the regular Marvel U. Maybe you should be more careful about where you plant your seed.

Ultimate Peter

[Brian "Vash" Ashby]

Dear Scott,

By the time you read this, i might be dead (at least for a bit)

i feel youneed to know, you were coceived during a key party, im not your father

Corsair

PS I hooked up with jean while you were married

A lot

aND i have a open invite to the white hot room

PSS

Did Rachel too

[Diablito]

Dear Kitty,

Just got Astonishing #21...you didn't have that body when I was with you.

Pete Wisdom

Dear Pete,

I think I must remind you that I had not hit puberty when I was with you.

Kitty Pryde

[Brian "Vash" Ashby]

Dear Pete,

I think I must remind you that I had not hit puberty when I was with you.

Kitty Pryde

Dear Kitty,

You are turning me on

Talking about prepubescence some more.

Love, Colossus

[Kirayoshi]

Dear Kitty,

You are turning me on

Talking about prepubescence some more.

Love, Colossus
Dear majority of posters at CBR:

What Katya and I had when we first dated was an innocent puppy-love romance. Apart from that incident during the Brood arc where Katya offered me her virginity(which I declined out of common decency), we never went past what you Americans call 'first base'. Our current intimate relationship did not start until after Katya was well into the American legal age.

To put it bluntly; I am NOT a pedophile!

Thank you for your time,
Piotr

[Omega Alpha]

Dear majority of posters at CBR:

What Katya and I had when we first dated was an innocent puppy-love romance. Apart from that incident during the Brood arc where Katya offered me her virginity(which I declined out of common decency), we never went past what you Americans call 'first base'. Our current intimate relationship did not start until after Katya was well into the American legal age.

To put it bluntly; I am NOT a pedophile!

Thank you for your time,
Piotr

Dear posters of CBR

I just want to repeat i am not a pedophile. Just because i engage into a romantic relationship and lust over a 13 year old girl, that doesn't make me one.

Love, Piotr.

[Deus ex Chris]

Dear CBR Posters,

OK, I'll be candid. Kitty was always meant to be my beard. I feigned interest in her because she was a kid and totally safe. I knew we would never sleep together, and that's just how I wanted it. Similarly, I feigned interest in Sanji and Meggan because they were both unavailable. Now, it's really super-awkward because Kitty saved me from Ord, and I feel obligated to be with her. Well, hopefully she's the one who dies in the current Astonishing story, so I can finally come out and put my organic steel to proper use.

Genuinely,
Piotr

[1WEBHEAD]

Dear CBR Posters,

Why don't you like me????:( :( :(

Love,

Wolverine

[Novaya Havoc]

Dear CBR Posters,

Novaya is the best.

I love my mega-thread.

<3

Ali

[Dagger]

Dear Wolverine,

We don't like you because you're steroid crazed
fanboys wet dream, and not a very good one.

Love,
CBR posters.

P.S. KEEPS IT REALZ!!!

[Deus ex Chris]

Dear Wolverine,

Some of us do like you. It's just that many of us (them) are bitter that our (their) favorite characters aren't as popular as you.

Thoughtfully,
The CBR Immoral Minority

[Ice_Cold_Emma_Frost]

Dear Colossus,

Is it true the real reason you didn't sleep with Kitty was b/c she had her original nose and she wasn't yet 16 (when all jewish girls get a nose job)?

Love and kisses

Stormy

[Pro]

Dear Stormy,

You're not really a black woman, you just sunbathe a lot.
Oops, guess i shouldn't have told your husband ..
Have a nice divorce.

Colossus.

[TinMan]

Dear CBR,

I had furry dog sex with Wolverine!

Dazzler

[Brian M.]

Dear TinMan,

Kitty and I were thinking of experimenting in the bedroom...can you give me your mother's phone number...I know she's the freakiest of the freaky and want some tips.

Colossus


P.S. Your not man enough to be a fan of me, go worship someone like Leech.

[Matthew K.]

Dear Brian,

don't make fun of Leech!

he's my best freind.

-Artie

p.s. i just learnt to right

p.s.s. i also think leech might be dead!! :(

[Unkillable Cat]

Dear Logan:

You taste like chicken.

Hank.

[Ice_Cold_Emma_Frost]

*Picture of the white hot room on the front*

Dear Scott:

Remember those 3 wonderful hours we spent in my parents hot tub together? This is SO much better!

Jean

[Brian "Vash" Ashby]

Dear Scott


So this whole "fear of using you power" thing with Emma....

Is that like a metaphor for erectile dysfunction?

Cause i really need some new Cyke-spooge

With concern,
Mr. Sinister.


Ps. MISTER SINISTER KNOWS WHAT YOUR FUTURE HOLDS!

[Matthew K.]

Betsy,

aren't you freakin' estatic i brought you back to life so that CC could use you to your full potential (crappy art included!)

--Jamie

p.s. i like underware

[Deus ex Chris]

Dear Longshot,

1987 called. He wants his hairstyle back.

Dazzler

[Matthew K.]

Dazzler,

Rosie O'Donnel called. She wants her underware back.

-Longshot

[1WEBHEAD]

Dear CBR,

My mom says I'm cool...:cool:

Love,

Vulcan

[Omega Alpha]

Dear Vulcan,

You mother never knew you, which is a great thing to her. And if she did she would say you're an asshole. She loved me, though.

Sincerily, your cooler, more known, popular and loved brother,

Scott.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Vulcan,

Hahahaha, I don't have to whine about being the loser of the family anymore. I'm much better than you, or Scott for that matter. After all, he is the leader of the X-men and you rule an Empire, while i am a space pirate as a replacement to my Han Solo-wannabe dad, which means i'm cooler.

No, wait... :( Why? Why i am such a loser? This is all my mother's fault, why did she loved Scott more than me? Why? WHY? And what you're looking at, your green haired whore? I'm done with you! DIE! *blasts her at full power*

Hey, bro, mind if i join you? Please?

Love,

Alex.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Alex,

You tried to kill me again and called me a whore. So i guess we see each other Saturday night? There's a movie i want to see, and afterwards we can, you know, have fun in the Pietro and Wanda way.

Yours truly forever and ever no matter what do you do to me,

Lorna

[1WEBHEAD]

Dear Vulcan,

You mother never knew you, which is a great thing to her. And if she did she would say you're an asshole. She loved me, though.

Sincerily, your cooler, more known, popular and loved brother,

Scott.


Dear Scott,

I knew you were going to say that...:evilangry

















































But it still hurts...:(

Love,

Vulcan
Damn I love Fanboy productions!

[Brian "Vash" Ashby]

Dear Rogue

Can i get on your floating ship and base jump off? That sounds Extreme to the MAX!

Radically Yours

Adam X

Ps. Man im glad im not a summers now.

[Mikl C]

Dear Alex,

You tried to kill me again and called me a whore. So i guess we see each other Saturday night? There's a movie i want to see, and afterwards we can, you know, have fun in the Pietro and Wanda way.

Yours truly forever and ever no matter what do you do to me,

Lorna


LMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAO
ROLFLLlldldldl

[1WEBHEAD]

Dear Jean,

;) I'm in love wtih the stripper;) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OcBZqPhylE&mode=related&search=)

Yours truly,

Cyclops:cool:

[Brian "Vash" Ashby]

Dear Kid Omega

Da plane! Da Plane


regards

Tattoo

[Flight]

Dear Deathbird

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,
Sage...!@<>.com

[MIMIC616]

Dear Exiles Mimic

Maybe they will include you in a flashback!

Love, Mimic 616

[samil87]

Dear Bobby,

We already discovered that blond hair and a Kentucky accent worked for you, but frankly I found it creepy. I'd give your regards to Ma Guthrie and the kids but I don't know the woman. Finally, STOP CALLING ME YOU FREAK.

With deadly sincerity, Raven.

P.S. if I catch you in my room with a cowboy hat and a banjo once more, I'm calling the O*N*E*

[Flight]

Oh, that was hilar!

[Flight]

Dear Lila Cheney

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

Love,
?

[Brett P]

Dear Scott


So this whole "fear of using you power" thing with Emma....

Is that like a metaphor for erectile dysfunction?

Cause i really need some new Cyke-spooge

With concern,
Mr. Sinister.


Ps. MISTER SINISTER KNOWS WHAT YOUR FUTURE HOLDS!

:D

Dear Dani,

Hey "mom", I know you're too busy teaching randomly super powered, non-mutant kids to care about my girlfriend getting shot through the head infront of me, but I just thought you'd like to know I'm currently in the fiery pits of hell and I'll probably die here.

Thanks for nothing,

Josh.

[Flight]

Do more postcards.

[Flight]

Do more postcards. I said do more postcards!!!!

[Come To Deathstrike]

Dear Beast

MeowMeow
MeooooowMeow
MeowMioaw!
Meooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow
Total Meow!
MeowMixMeow.
Meowz!

Love and KittyLitter
Hepzibah.

:D

[Novaya Havoc]

Dear Roma,

I need your help! Storm found out about that one time where we played peek-a-boo under your flowing, pure white robes, and locked me out the damn house! She moved away to shack up with that damn ho, Yukio! Now all my crops are dying. The children are the starve!

Please send all the tears you can to help moisten the chickpea fields. Your tears will save lives.

With all subsurvience and utmost gratitude,

Black Panther

[Novaya Havoc]

Caliban,

I'll always remember you.
You were that guy from the Neo arc, right?

Cordially,

Cyclops

[Brian M.]

Dear Black Panther,

How do I taste?

Love,
Yukio

[Diablito]

Dear X-Men,
F%CK YOU! I BLAME YOU @#$@ OF A @#(*^@# FOR MY DEATH!!! DIE @#*)(@*#@_($*!
-Caliban

[worstblogever]

Dear Charles,

Do you like me? Circle yes or no.


YES NO


Yours,

Erik.

[Psi-Mage]

Dear Loa,

You are such a Slut!!! I have not even been dead 6 months and you have already have made out with my man!!! When I return from the dead in 2-3 years. I am so going to make you hate ice cream and I am going to be Victor's new Fag Hag!

Love, Laurie

[Brett P]

Dear Wolverine (and the X-Men)

I know you're reeeaally busy with this Messiah Complex thingy but I have a REALLY important question. Where am I?

Astonishingly,
Kitty.

Dear Charles,

Do you like me? Circle yes or no.


YES NO


Yours,

Erik.

This made me chuckle :D

[Brian M.]

Dear Kitty,

I'm giving this letter to one of the New X-Men, I know soon they'll be able to deliever it to you.

Love,
Wolverine

P.S. Caliban's on the way to see you...

[streator]

Dear ________________,

what the devil?!?!?!

CC

[frog]

Dear Beast

MeowMeow
MeooooowMeow
MeowMioaw!
Meooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow
Total Meow!
MeowMixMeow.
Meowz!

Love and KittyLitter
Hepzibah.

:D

Dear Hepzibah,

Aren't you really supposed to speak mephitidae (skunk)?

Cordially,
Beast

[streator]

Dear Hepzibah:

Being related to a skunk does not negate all of your noxious odors.

-James

[streator]

Dear Vulcan,

It's your party and you can cry if you want to.

Happy birthday, Paul from Extreme Home Makeover

xoxo

[chemicalx]

Dear Jean,

Tried your Phoenix Force... Fire and Light indeed...

As usual dear I am unimpressed but its not your fault i suppose... common is as common does...

*kisses*

Em

[Come To Deathstrike]

Dear Hepzibah,

Aren't you really supposed to speak mephitidae (skunk)?

Cordially,
Beast

Dear Hanky

Ah
Skunk I was.
Artist liberties taken.
Cat Now.
No sense.
Meow.

Big balls of Yarn
Hepzy.

[Flâneur]

Dear Doctor,

I am not crazy, truly, I haven't been possessed by a cosmic entity in months. Would you please let me out of your White Room?

Regards,
Jean

---

Dear Jean,

We've been over this hundreds of times, you were never possessed by the Gazelle or whatever it was. I can't in good conscience discharge you until you understand that.

Regards,
Therapist who conveniently has no name

---

Dear Doctor,

The Phoenix is real! Others will vouch for me - my daughter, the woman who had sex with my ex-husband in his head, my clone, a bird man from space with a big sword and a neo-nazi living in a test tube!

Regards,
Jean

---

Dear Jean,

Those are all ... very good examples. You didn't tell me you had a daughter? How old is she? It might be good for me to have a little chat with her about your current ... state.

Regards,
Conveniently nameless therapist

---

Dear Doctor,

Rachel is in her early 20s, I had her by mating with the Phoenix.

Regards,
Jean

---

Dear Jean,

Wouldn't that mean you had Rachel when you were around eight? And I thought you were the Phoenix ... is that a metaphor for masturbation?

Regards,
Badly named therapist

---

Dear Doctor,

It all has to do with time travel ... and no, the big fiery bird impregnated me in another dimension.

Regards,
Jean

[streator]

Dear Madrox:

You said skrulls don't have to pull out.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE,

Siryn

[streator]

Dear Havok:

I can control nano-sentinels, sure.

I can't make something out of nothing, though.

Talk to Nehzno. I'm tired of waiting for things to grow.

~Lorna

[Hakael]

Dear Josh,

I need some help here, it happened again.
For some reason, this girl just can't keep her claws sheathed.
I hit the right spot and I've gotta start paying attention to where her hands and feet are or its lady deathstrike plays with my insides, part two.
She's kept the damage to a minimum, but I'm running out of neosporin and bandages.
If you could help the healing process along, I'd appreciate it.

Julian

PS. This doesn't mean we're friends again. If you tell anyone about this, I'll throw you into the next state.

[Hakael]

Dear Madrox,

Hey Multiple Man, long time no see, which is weird cause you have dupes all over the place from what I hear... like all over my lady friends.
So... you got Red all knocked up.
Normally, I'd be sending you this postcard taped to the end of something pointy... but it turns out that I like saying MILF, so I'm gonna think of somebody else to get in touch with that way. Hey, maybe ol' Proudstar would be up for some stabbing? Or maybe Havok... where is that guy anyway?
I'll be around sometime in the fall... probably written horribly by somebody that isn't Fabian or Joe Kelly... so be on your best behavior with Terry.
Otherwise, I'll sic my pet Bob on you... my supporting cast need the work.

-Deadpool

heh, MILF...

[Rachel Grey]

To all my devoted fans,

I am grateful for all your support, but we're gonna have to face facts. Right now I am so poor that I cant afford the rent at the poorhouse. Either I have to change or I'm gonna have to start selling myself on the street.

Disco is dead. I'm re-inventing myself as a metalhead.

Love,

Dazzler.

[Flight]

This thread is HILARIOUS.

[Omega Alpha]

Dear Jamie,

Next time we meet I'll be so happy that I'm gonna scream and take you to meet Daddy.

Love,
Terry

[streator]

Dear Namor:

do you like fish sticks?

~Bobby

[Slung]

Dear Namor:

do you like fish sticks?

~Bobby

Dear Bobby,

You are a gay fish.

Kisses,

Namor

[streator]

Dear Bobby,

You are a gay fish.

Kisses,

Namor

you didn't play it out correctly.

(not a postcard)

[psycwave]

Dear Black Panther,

How do I taste?

Love,
Yukio

This is FULL OF WIN!!!!

[Slung]

you didn't play it out correctly.

(not a postcard)

It WAS a postcard from Namor to Bobby. Duh.