The Post Office: Threat or Menace?

[Michael P]

So I went up the hill just now to the Post Office to mail some manuscripts, including the short story I'm submitting to Strange New Worlds this year. I've done this several times before by now, and every time it's gone pretty smoothly: I bring my self-addressed envelopes with me, fill out the Priority Mail address sticker, stick the manuscript in a Flat Rate envelope, hand it to the clerk with the self-addressed envelope, and explain that I need return postage put on the SASE so the editor people can get the manuscript back to me. They do so happily.

Today, though, I must have done something to piss God off, because I got the mother of all stick-rectal dickwads running the only available window. I do my thing at the counter for all three manuscripts, then get in line for the window. Here's how the conversation went:

"I need return postage on those envelopes to go inside the bigger envelopes so they can send it back to me."

"What do you want sent back to you?"

"The manuscripts."

"I need to know the weight."

"It's Priority Mail."

"You want it sent back to you Priority Mail?"

"Yes."

"If you want it sent back to you Priority Mail, you have to use a Priority Mail envelope."

"No I don't. I do this every month, and I always put one of these envelopes in for it to be mailed back to me. I just need to buy the postage."

"How much do you want?"

"Enough for them to send each one back to me."

He counts up three PM stamps. I get a little nervous, because one of them is going to and coming back from Utah, and according to the USPS website, it might cost more for them to send it back to me from Utah using a regular envelope.

"Will one stamp be enough for them to send it back to me from Utah?"

"Priority Mail is a flat rate. $X for the three stamps."

"What about the envelopes?"

"You got the envelopes."

"I usually pay for them, though."

*looks at the PM envelopes* "These don't have postage. You need to pay for the postage."

"I know."

*rings up three more PM stamps* "$Y, then."

I pay, he passes the PM envelopes, the stamps, and my SASEs all back to me under the window. "Next."

Right. I put the stamps on the envelopes, seal the deal and all, and step back into line. When I get back to the front, I hold up the one going to Utah.

"Are you sure one stamp will be enough for them to send this back to me from Utah?"

"Priority Mail is a flat rate."

"Yes, with the flat rate envelope, but also with the manila envelope I brought from home?"

"Priority Mail is a flat rate."

Great. It's obvious Roboputz isn't going to be any help.

"Can I talk to the manager?"

"That would be me."

Oh, this day just keeps getting better, don't it? So I tell him, as nicely as I can, that he's been about as helpful as testicular cancer, pass the envelopes over, and tell him to have a nice day.

I figure it's about 50/50 that the envelopes will ever leave the Bronx. I sent emails to the two magazines (couldn't find info for the SNW editor, probably for good reason), asking them to let me know if the envelope ever actually makes it, which they probably won't, so I'll end up resending everything regardless.

The sooner electronic submission becomes the industry standard, the better.

[StoneGold]

You're just looking to get shot in the face, aren't you?

[Typo Lad]

Go to 23rd and Lex and use Austin's store. SO much easier.

[Jiro]

Yeah. Private mail service blows away the U.S. Postal System (sorry about that bad pun). Better service and usually no lines.

[Typo Lad]

Yeah. Private mail service blows away the U.S. Postal System (sorry about that bad pun). Better service and usually no lines.

It helps that Austin rocks.

He's a poster... well, maybe former poster at this point. Great guy, always glad to see you. The place is more like a club than a mailbox shop. He knows all his customer's names, what they're up to, etc.

[west3man]

I was just about to say that if it's important and you don't trust the person you're about to hand things over to, don't.

If at all possible, go somewhere else. I've little experience with the private places, but there seem to be some good recommendations above.

You're their customer. If they don't serve you right, don't support that particular office... AND make your feelings known by whatever methods they have in place. Maybe it won't make a difference, but maybe it will.

Good luck.

[Jiro]

The U.S. Postal Office is a government institution, and as is typical of government institutions, most of its employees are paid a flat rate and don't feel any particular incentive to do their jobs better. There are exceptions, of course: people who do their jobs well just because it's a matter of their personal principles to do so (yes, they exist even in government work). But chances are, you'll encounter the guy who's just there for his guaranteed paycheck.

[PatrickG]

I know some private places that have a 400% markup. (The local UPS store.)

That said, I go to the post office where I know the clerks.

Theoretically, they should all be the same but bureaucracy can't triumph over good individuals and doesn't make up for inept ones (even though it tries to do both).

[Grant]

I was just about to say that if it's important and you don't trust the person you're about to hand things over to, don't.

Ditto. You can always go to another post office. Plus sending manuscripts is expensive not just the postage but making copies and what not. You want to be sure it reaches the destination.

[Typo Lad]

The U.S. Postal Office is a government institution, and as is typical of government institutions, most of its employees are paid a flat rate and don't feel any particular incentive to do their jobs better. There are exceptions, of course: people who do their jobs well just because it's a matter of their personal principles to do so (yes, they exist even in government work). But chances are, you'll encounter the guy who's just there for his guaranteed paycheck.

Wasn't the USPS privatized at some point?

[Jiro]

Wasn't the USPS privatized at some point?

Didn't know that. A couple of employees at my local post office, however, certainly act like they're on a government salary.

Which isn't really fair to a few of the other guys who work there, who are classy professionals all the way.

I can live without the long lines, however.

[Loren]

Wasn't the USPS privatized at some point?

I recalled that the USPS operates as something of a quasi-governmental organization, but rather than trust my memory, I found an answer (http://usgovinfo.about.com/blpostalservice.htm):

Until adoption of the Postal Reorganization Act of 1970, the U.S. Postal Service functioned as a regular, tax-supported, agency of the federal government.

According to the laws under which it now operates, the U.S. Postal Service is a semi-independent federal agency, mandated to be revenue-neutral. That is, it is supposed to break even, not make a profit.

In 1982, U.S. postage stamps became "postal products," rather than a form of taxation. Since then, The bulk of the cost of operating the postal system has been paid for by customers through the sale of "postal products" and services rather than taxes.

It then goes into greater detail about some ways the Post Office is unlike regular gov't agencies. One thing it doesn't mention, but I'm pretty sure is true, is the gov't's requirements regarding where Post Offices must be located. This is what results in a lot of money-losing branches being kept open.

[ghostrider666]

This is true. The USPS is a semi-private agency, much like NASA. Only more so. It generates all of its $$ for its operating costs, nothing comes from tax $. There hasnt been a postal employee hired since the early 80s thats a cival servant. Its still 1/2 assed though.