I'm Your New Dungeon Master

[Valmore]

Yep. I've decided to drop this facade of posting stuff, which seems to just make people mad at each other, and I'm going to type posts like I'm running a role-playing game now.

And so we begin:

You are walking along a dirt road that leads through a dense forest. It's late afternoon, getting near dusk. You should be in town within the next two hours, however.

There's nary a cloud in the sky, and you see some squirrels hopping around, looking for food. Some birds chirp a little in the trees. And despite the hour growing towards nightfall, it's unseasonably warm outside.

Minutes later, you are ambushed by orcish raiders! There's six of them, wearing leather armor and brandishing different sorts of swords and axes. They demand you pay them the toll of 25 gold per person.

Quick! What do you do?!?

[Rallura]

Bitch at the dungeon master for making things too hard, of course, then demand to reroll my character again.

[Valmore]

Bitch at the dungeon master for making things too hard, of course, then demand to reroll my character again.

The dungeon master gets bitched at relentlessly and finally gives into letting you reroll your character. However, you must make your rolls out in the open and you only get to toss away one "bad" stat, since he's using the "Roll 3d6 seven times, drop the lowest result, place to taste" method.

[Dreadstar]

*takes the flaw "scarred face" for a -1 on charisma but +2 in wisdom adjustment...*

[K'Nort]

Well it would help to know what I had in terms of arms/skills vs gold.

[Valmore]

Well it would help to know what I had in terms of arms/skills vs gold.

Consider yourself a level 1 character equipped well enough for your stature and can go out adventuring without too much fear. Also keep in mind that, if this thread has ANY success, you'll have a large group to back you up.

[Dreadstar]

Quick! What do you do?!?

Feed them K'nort.

[Rallura]

I grumble for a while, then agree to the terms, then ask everyone to wait while I go get more cheetos.

[K'Nort]

Oh. Well in that case I attack the nearest orc, of cource. Would there still be an opportunity for initiative there?

[Valmore]

*takes the flaw "scarred face" for a -1 on charisma but +2 in wisdom adjustment...*

Although your -1 charisma applies to the general populace, it does give you a +2 comeliness factor with young female NPCs, since "chicks dig scars." +3 if you come up with an awesome background story as to why you have a scar (but it must be a story that impresses NPC chicks).

[Dreadstar]

Although your -1 charisma applies to the general populace, it does give you a +2 comeliness factor with young female NPCs, since "chicks dig scars." +3 if you come up with an awesome background story as to why you have a scar (but it must be a story that impresses NPC chicks).

SCORE!

..

[JeffreyWKramer]

I cast Magic Missile at the darkness.

After the fight, I see if I can get Samurai's character to fall for the old "Head of Vecna" routine.

[Valmore]

Oh. Well in that case I attack the nearest orc, of cource. Would there still be an opportunity for initiative there?

Feed them K'Nort.

Since your companion has seen fit to shove you at the nearest orc and you were already going to attack, you have initiative. Roll to hit.

[K'Nort]

Although your -1 charisma applies to the general populace, it does give you a +2 comeliness factor with young female NPCs, since "chicks dig scars." +3 if you come up with an awesome background story as to why you have a scar (but it must be a story that impresses NPC chicks).

After his last move, the story is that I gave him the scar.

[Winslow]

I'd do what I did in college when my roomates played D-n-D.

Watch with interest for about 15 minutes, then go back to doing my homework.

[Davideaux]

This thread is SATANIC

[Valmore]

I cast Magic Missile at the darkness.

After the fight, I see if I can get Samurai's character to fall for the old "Head of Vecna" routine.

You cast Magic Missile at the darkness. Since you impressed the DM by knowing about the "Head of Vecna" routine, you hit a hidden orc that was brandishing a crossbow. He clutches at his gut as he falls out of the tree and takes extra damage. He falls unconscious.

[Dreadstar]

This thread is SATANIC

Did you know that "satanic" spelled backwards is "cinatas?"

It is! Really!

OK, now that K'nort's engaged the first orc, I'll offer the next one some Cheetoh's just as soon as Rally gets back.

Unitl then, I'm gonna ooo and Ahhh at Jeffrey's fireworks display.

[Typo Lad]

I suddenly remember that I hate D&D, get up, and make a sammich.

[Rallura]

I come back in munching on cheetos, then start complaining about everyone playing while I was out of the room, then sulk and refuse to share the cheetos.

[Typo Lad]

I role a +5 Initiative and steal the Cheetoes from Rally.

[Dreadstar]

...refuse to share the cheetos.

Well, there goes that gambit.


Any chance of feeding Winslow to the next orc?

[JeffreyWKramer]

You cast Magic Missile at the darkness. Since you impressed the DM by knowing about the "Head of Vecna" routine, you hit a hidden orc that was brandishing a crossbow. He clutches at his gut as he falls out of the tree and takes extra damage. He falls unconscious.

Whoo hoo!!! My elf mage shouts out "Take that, orcs!" and makes rude gestures to the orcs. Then he positions himself so Dread's character is between him and the orcs. Might as well give him a chance to get more scars so he can be even more of a babe magnet!

[Valmore]

OK, now that K'nort's engaged the first orc, I'll offer the next one some Cheetoh's just as soon as Rally gets back.

Unitl then, I'm gonna ooo and Ahhh at Jeffrey's fireworks display.

Unfortunately, your companion is refusing to share the Cheetohs. If you took any thieving abilities, you could try and filch some while she's busy rerolling her character.

Until then, you gaze in wonder at Jeffrey's character's awesome display of butt-kicking.

[Valmore]

Whoo hoo!!! My elf mage shouts out "Take that, orcs!" and makes rude gestures to the orcs. Then he positions himself so Dread's character is between him and the orcs. Might as well give him a chance to get more scars so he can be even more of a babe magnet!

The orcs take great offense at your rude gestures and make way to attack you. However, since you saw fit to shove Dreadstar's character in front of you, who saw fit to shove Winslow in front of him, the orcs are attacking Winslow, giving the two of you an opportunity to do something else.

[K'Nort]

I'll help out Winslow once I've dispatched my current opponent. We're talking short sword and small shield here, so preferably one with a mace or sword.

[Shellhead]

I act like a sloppy drunk and stumble up to the nearest orc. I pratfall and clutch at him as I drop, attempting to pick his pocket in the process. [rolls die.]

[Valmore]

I'll help out Winslow once I've dispatched my current opponent. We're talking short sword and small shield here, so preferably one with a mace or sword.

You engage in combat with an orc with a mace. A few minutes later you have dispatched the goon, taking only a slight bruising here and there. You are now helping out Winslow, and there are only five orcs left that you can see.

[JeffreyWKramer]

The orcs take great offense at your rude gestures and make way to attack you. However, since you saw fit to shove Dreadstar's character in front of you, who saw fit to shove Winslow in front of him, the orcs are attacking Winslow, giving the two of you an opportunity to do something else.

The elf mage steps back away from Winslow and Dread's characters and draws his bow in case any orcs get past the meat shields.

[Winslow]

Any chance of feeding Winslow to the next orc?

No way. My character is a hobbit. And the orcs have been directed to capture me alive and unspoiled.

*hides from Dungeon Master's wrath at meddling . . .*

[Typo Lad]

Okay, okay, I'll play.

What's my character?

I don't wanna be a dwarf.

I'm always the dwarf.

[Dreadstar]

Winslow ought to last a round.

That should give me opportunity to do a quick "hide in shadows."


Dang, look at the time, gotta run...

[Valmore]

I act like a sloppy drunk and stumble up to the nearest orc. I pratfall and clutch at him as I drop, attempting to pick his pocket in the process. [rolls die.]

The stupid orc stands stunned watching you act like a drunk. You take him completely by surprise and drag him to the ground. He hits his head hard on a rock, leaving him prone on the ground and short a few coppers. You now have a free action against him.

[Bouncing Boy]

*plays his lute to boost the party's morale, then offers Morts some Doritoes so he won't steel Rally's Cheetoes.*

[JeffreyWKramer]

Okay, okay, I'll play.

What's my character?

I don't wanna be a dwarf.

I'm always the dwarf.

Just don't be a Kender.

[Winslow]

*grabs some cheetoes form Morts, eats 'em, drinks coke, belches*

[Valmore]

No way. My character is a hobbit. And the orcs have been directed to capture me alive and unspoiled.

*hides from Dungeon Master's wrath at meddling . . .*

The elf mage steps back away from Winslow and Dread's characters and draws his bow in case any orcs get past the meat shields.

Dreadstar has managed to slip off into the shadows, and the Hobbit runs squealing behind you. You may want to knock an arrow pretty quickly.

Morts can play, and doesn't have to be a dwarf. But no kenders, either.

Bouncing Boy plays his lute, and the party feels a surge of courageousness wash over them, all while offering Morts some Doritos.

[JeffreyWKramer]

Dreadstar has managed to slip off into the shadows, and the Hobbit runs squealing behind you. You may want to knock an arrow pretty quickly.

I'll try to take out the lead orc, if possible timing it so one of those running up behind trip over his body. Half-move back first.

Morts can play, and doesn't have to be a dwarf. But no kenders, either.

Be a gnome, Morts.

[Typo Lad]

*plays his lute to boost the party's morale, then offers Morts some Doritoes so he won't steel Rally's Cheetoes.*

Refuses Doritoes. Wasn't eating the Non-Kosher Cheetoes anyway, was just trying to get Rally aggitated.

Sorry, just trying to get in character.

[Typo Lad]

Be a gnome, Morts.

Ugh. I hate Alaska.

Can I be some kind of reptile man? Or a weremonkey?

[Valmore]

I'll try to take out the lead orc, if possible timing it so one of those running up behind trip over his body. Half-move back first.

You take a step back and fire, scoring a direct hit in the lead orc's eye. He falls back onto the orc directly behind him, knocking him to the ground. The other two manage to not trip over the bodies.

Can I be some kind of reptile man? Or a weremonkey?

Most retillian races tend towards the evil end of the spectrum, though I'm willing to allow for a neutral Lizardman or Bullywug.

[Bouncing Boy]

*offers Morts some Sam*s Choice Penut Butter Filled Pretzles*

Rally says she throws Cheetoes at Morts complains that she doesn't like the dice. then she says she's going to get Royal's dice and storms out of the room.

I continue to play my lute.

[Valmore]

*offers Morts some Sam*s Choice Penut Butter Filled Pretzles*

Rally says she throws Cheetoes at Morts complains that she doesn't like the dice. then she says she's going to get Royal's dice and storms out of the room.

I continue to play my lute.

Bouncing Boy continues playing his lute, which has caught the attention of one of the two remaining orcs that are an immediate threat to the party. He might want to consider drawing a weapon soon.

Rally stomps off to find Royal's dice.

[Typo Lad]

I take the Sam's Yummyness, pleased that BB knew it was kosher.

I then try to find a mirror so I can see what creature I am.

[Valmore]

I take the Sam's Yummyness, pleased that BB knew it was kosher.

I then try to find a mirror so I can see what creature I am.

Morts looks in the mirror and needs to determine if he'd rather look like a lizard on two feet or a frog on two feet.

[Shellhead]

The stupid orc stands stunned watching you act like a drunk. You take him completely by surprise and drag him to the ground. He hits his head hard on a rock, leaving him prone on the ground and short a few coppers. You now have a free action against him.

I attempt to take his axe, standing on top of him for better leverage.

[Typo Lad]

Morts looks in the mirror and needs to determine if he'd rather look like a lizard on two feet or a frog on two feet.

Morts wants to be a woman.

[Valmore]

I attempt to take his axe, standing on top of him for better leverage.

You easily take the axe from his slack grip. However, he is starting to come around.

Morts wants to be a woman.

Morts is now a woman. People smile at you for no reason and have a tendency to hold the door open for you.

[Typo Lad]

Okay... I take the orc and beat him about the head with my walking stick, all the while shouting.,

"You brute! You beast! Oh MERCY!"

[Bouncing Boy]

Bouncing Boy continues playing his lute, which has caught the attention of one of the two remaining orcs that are an immediate threat to the party. He might want to consider drawing a weapon soon.



I put down the lute and pull out my short sword (not like that you pervs!) and attacks the closest orc.

[Valmore]

Okay... I take the orc and beat him about the head with my walking stick, all the while shouting.,

"You brute! You beast! Oh MERCY!"

Morts browbeats the evil orc while attempting to hurt it with her walking stick. While it's not going to knock him out anytime soon, he is getting a good headache from it.

[Valmore]

I put down the lute and pull out my short sword (not like that you pervs!) and attacks the closest orc.

Fortunately, Bouncing Boy had the good sense to attack the orc Morts was caning with a walking stick. He stabs the brute in his side, rupturing a view vital innards in the orc, which slumps over dead.

Only one orc remains.

[Shellhead]

You easily take the axe from his slack grip. However, he is starting to come around.


As he gets to his feet, I claim an Attack of Opportunity™, and try to hit him with the axe.

[Winslow]

Morts is now a woman.

Winslow stares at Morts' chest.

*then grumbles about Probability and Statistics homework*

[Valmore]

As he gets to his feet, I claim an Attack of Opportunity™, and try to hit him with the axe.

You manage to time your slice just as the orc's neck meets the swing-arc of the axe, neatly chopping off its head. The body slumps back down as blood spurts like a mini geyser from his neck. The head rolls neatly next to a tree.

[Typo Lad]

he is getting a good headache from it.

That's okay, I wasn't in the mood anyway.

Um, would it help if I stabbed him with the sword inside the walking stick? Right between his third and forth rib?

[K'Nort]

Works for Red Sonja.

How are Winslow and I doing?

And I'll be a dwarf.

[K'Nort]

That's okay, I wasn't in the mood anyway.

Um, would it help if I stabbed him with the sword inside the walking stick? Right between his third and forth rib?

You're ambidextrous, or you take the time to actually switch weapons?

[Typo Lad]

You're ambidextrous, or you take the time to actually switch weapons?

I go both ways, yes.

[Slam_Bradley]

I walk in...praying to the "Golden Spirit of Elmo Moe" to heal K'nort's bruises.



It's healing...not groping.

[Valmore]

How are Winslow and I doing?

Jeffrey took out one of the orcs, the only one left alive is the one under the orc Jeffrey shot. You could easily dispatch of it.

Um, would it help if I stabbed him with the sword inside the walking stick? Right between his third and forth rib?

It would help immensely. You and Bouncing Boy have dispatched of your orc.

All that remains now are a bunch of dead orc bodies.

[Valmore]

I walk in...praying to the "Golden Spirit of Elmo Moe" to heal K'nort's bruises.

Your reverant faith helps in the divine entity healing K'Nort's bruises.

[K'Nort]

Loot the bodies!

[Typo Lad]

Loot the bodies!

Ew! Icky dead things!

Besides, I could break a nail.

I batt my eyelashes at BB, asking him if he would mind looting the body for me.

[JeffreyWKramer]

I'm doing Detect Magic over the accumulated weapons and loot.

[Winslow]

Jeffrey took out one of the orcs, the only one left alive is the one under the orc Jeffrey shot. You could easily dispatch of it.

How's this work? Can I stab him in the eye with my hobbit sword?

(BTW are hobbits even in D-n-D?)

BTW - Valmore - you're pretty good at this.

[K'Nort]

Ew! Icky dead things!

Besides, I could break a nail.

I batt my eyelashes at BB, asking him if he would mind looting the body for me.

You'd better have some kick-ass spells, girlie.

[K'Nort]

How's this work? Can I stab him in the eye with my hobbit sword?

(BTW are hobbits even in D-n-D?)

BTW - Valmore - you're pretty good at this.

As halflings, yes.

And it sounds like he's lying on the ground, so you can definitely poke him in the eye.

[Typo Lad]

You'd better have some kick-ass spells, girlie.

Oh I don't do spells, far far too messy.

I'm a merchant's daughter. A RICH merchant's daughter. I have decided to make my name as a famous adventuress.

Oh wait, would the ability to cloud men's minds count as a "spell"?

It might just be my butt, now that I think about it.

[Michael P]

I walk up to the party, congratulate them on their defeat of the orcs, and ask if I can tag along, chronicling their epic adventures.

[Bouncing Boy]

Ew! Icky dead things!

Besides, I could break a nail.

I batt my eyelashes at BB, asking him if he would mind looting the body for me.


*Bows* At your service M'lady *Gallantly looks the body of the orc that Morts and I killed*

[Typo Lad]

I walk up to the party, congratulate them on their defeat of the orcs, and ask if I can tag along, chronicling their epic adventures.

I take sudden interest in the unmarried bard.

So, does barding pay well?

[Solaris]

I cast Magic Missile at the darkness.

After the fight, I see if I can get Samurai's character to fall for the old "Head of Vecna" routine.

Are there any girls here? If there's any girls here, I DO 'em!

(Got any Mountain Dew?)

:D

***

I Love that "Summoner" easter egg!

[K'Nort]

I walk up to the party, congratulate them on their defeat of the orcs, and ask if I can tag along, chronicling their epic adventures.

We already have a bard. What else can you offer?

[JeffreyWKramer]

We already have a bard. What else can you offer?

He can be a meat shield, which is always a good thing for an archer/mage to have around. I walk over and shake the hand of the new arrival.

[Typo Lad]

He can be a meat shield, which is always a good thing for an archer/mage to have around. I walk over and shake the hand of the new arrival.

I hiss.

Back off, I saw him first.

So... does being a meat shield pay well?

I do so like meat.

[JeffreyWKramer]

Are there any girls here? If there's any girls here, I DO 'em!

(Got any Mountain Dew?)

:D

***

I Love that "Summoner" easter egg!
Join the game! I'm interested in seeing what you play :)

[K'Nort]

Morts -- Are you still a frog-type thing as well?

[Bouncing Boy]

I take sudden interest in the unmarried bard.

So, does barding pay well?


Hey just because I'm married doesn't mean my character is...besides Rally's probalby playing a dwarf anyway.

[JeffreyWKramer]

Morts -- Are you still a frog-type thing as well?

No, I think he's playing a bimbo now.

In DnD, is that a race or a class these days?

[Typo Lad]

Morts -- Are you still a frog-type thing as well?

As cool as that would be, no. It sounded icky.

I decided to be a normal human...although I did toy with being a cat woman or something.

I get enough furry jokes aimed my way as is.

[Typo Lad]

Hey just because I'm married doesn't mean my character is...besides Rally's probalby playing a dwarf anyway.

So what, you don't find dwarf's attractive?

Speciesism is SO not sexy.

[Typo Lad]

No, I think he's playing a bimbo now.

Playing?

I ahve to leave in 17 minutes. Can someone take over my character?

[Michael P]

We already have a bard. What else can you offer?
I tell the somewhat pushy K'Nort that she misunderstood me. I'm actually a Monk of the Order of Living Vicariously, charged with going out into the world, tagging along with adventurers, and sending records of their deeds back to the head monastery so all the senior monks will have something to read.

[Nate C.]

As a halfling distant cousin to Winslow (whose always late to the party), I run up just in time to stab an already dead orc and pass out healing bandages.

[Typo Lad]

I tell the somewhat pushy K'Nort that she misunderstood me. I'm actually a Monk of the Order of Living Vicariously, charged with going out into the world, tagging along with adventurers, and sending records of their deeds back to the head monastery so all the senior monks will have something to read.

Monks?

Monks are celibate, right?

Nice meeting you.

hey, what's that lurking over the hill?

Dungeon master?

[K'Nort]

I tell the somewhat pushy K'Nort that she misunderstood me. I'm actually a Monk of the Order of Living Vicariously, charged with going out into the world, tagging along with adventurers, and sending records of their deeds back to the head monastery so all the senior monks will have something to read.

Monks make very valuable party members. You may join us.

[Bouncing Boy]

I walk up to the party, congratulate them on their defeat of the orcs, and ask if I can tag along, chronicling their epic adventures.

*Chalenges the new bard to a round of Dueling Lutes (Duga dum dum dum da dum da dum)*

EDIT: Oh wait, he's a monk now....nevermind

[Nate C.]

I get enough furry jokes aimed my way ass.

Wha? Mortsey?

[JeffreyWKramer]

Monks make very valuable party members.
Plus they often pass on their share of treasure.
You may join us.
Definitely.

[K'Nort]

Plus they often pass on their share of treasure.

Ixnay in front of Ortsmay.

[Typo Lad]

Ixnay in front of Ortsmay.

Oh, that's okay. I'm a RICH merchant's daughter, right? I don't need any treasure. I just need a grand and glorious quest to cement my reputation as the greatest warrior since Maureen Birnbaum.

Oh, although dibs on any talking swords. A girl gets lonely.

[JeffreyWKramer]

Oh, although dibs on any talking swords. A girl gets lonely.

I'd think a lonely girl might want a talking rod or wand more than a talking sword.

[Nate C.]

Asks permission to join, shows the party his short sword and passes out tasty apple muffins. (smirks when asked if he has any "real" weapons)

[K'Nort]

Oh, although dibs on any talking swords. A girl gets lonely.

Then wouldn't the hilt config be more important than speaking abilities?

Edit: And I owe Jeffrey a Coke.

[Typo Lad]

I'd think a lonely girl might want a talking rod or wand more than a talking sword.

Oh that's why I have the walking stick. The hilt comes off.

Piffle. I have to go home now.

[JeffreyWKramer]

Then wouldn't the hilt config be more important than speaking abilities?

Edit: And I owe Jeffrey a Coke.

I do like the idea of "hilt- ribbed for her pleasure" .

[Michael P]

Plus they often pass on their share of treasure.
Not this kind. I'm expected to send home baubles as well.

And as for celibacy: Yeah, right.

[Bouncing Boy]

So what, you don't find dwarf's attractive?

Speciesism is SO not sexy.

It's not that. D&D Dwarfs tend to be male and while I'm attracted to both sexes my character isn't.

[Bouncing Boy]

It's not that. D&D Dwarfs tend to be male and while I'm attracted to both sexes my character isn't.

Oh My GOD! I killed the thread! I'm a BASTARD!!!!

Oh and I probably should have pointed out my character is a half elf.

[Winslow]

Asks permission to join, shows the party his short sword and passes out tasty apple muffins. (smirks when asked if he has any "real" weapons)

*high fives cous for the attack on the dead orc*

*sits down and eats apple muffins - looking for a chance to steal someone else's muffin.*

[Shellhead]

It's not that. D&D Dwarfs tend to be male and while I'm attracted to both sexes my character isn't.

Gary Gygax said that female dwarves have beards, too, so it's difficult for non-dwarves to tell them apart. Shortly after Gygax wrote this in Dragon magazine, they published a series of adventures (A1-A4, the Slavelord series) that included nine pre-generated characters (from the original tournament version of this series). These characters were shown in all of the artwork in the A-series, and the female dwarf, Elwita, was consistently drawn with a beard.

[darkkeeperjr]

*walks out from between the trees*(a tall black warrior with short sword and shield,dressed in dragon mail armor.)

"are you guys going to eat these orcs? or just let them rot here?

[Bouncing Boy]

Gary Gygax said that female dwarves have beards, too, so it's difficult for non-dwarves to tell them apart. Shortly after Gygax wrote this in Dragon magazine, they published a series of adventures (A1-A4, the Slavelord series) that included nine pre-generated characters (from the original tournament version of this series). These characters were shown in all of the artwork in the A-series, and the female dwarf, Elwita, was consistently drawn with a beard.


And I believe Gygax got it from Tolken because I believe that's mentioned in one of the LOTR books...I suppose Tolken could have gotten that from some earlier folklore about Dwarves though.

But anyways I'm looting the orcs bodies.

[Bouncing Boy]

*walks out from between the trees*(a tall black warrior with short sword and shield,dressed in dragon mail armor.)

"are you guys going to eat these orcs? or just let them rot here?

"Ew, I'm not going to eat them because if they taste half as bad as they smell I'll have indigestion for a week. I figured we were going to bury them."

[darkkeeperjr]

*cuts the ears off the some of the largest one and starts a fire*

"gives you a tummy ache? huh? well guess you must still be on the bottle and eating mashed corn? hee hee"

"Or maybe you're used to city food. bet you used to having your rabbit deboned too? huh?"

[K'Nort]

Tall black as in drow?

[Michael P]

*cuts the ears off the some of the largest one and starts a fire*

"gives you a tummy ache? huh? well guess you must still be on the bottle and eating mashed corn? hee hee"

"Or maybe you're used to city food. bet you used to having your rabbit deboned too? huh?"
*thinks "oh they'll love this part back home"*

To BB: "Bury the orcs? Won't that poison the land? Better off to burn the corpses. Anyone here know fire spells?"

[Slam_Bradley]

The Golden Spirit of Elmo Moe, prefers that the carrion feed nature...or tall black fellers.

[darkkeeperjr]

Tall black as in drow?


I forgot what a drow is. :o

[K'Nort]

I forgot what a drow is. :o

The sort of evil dark elf who would NOT be welcome in this party.

So you're okay. Just checking.

[Michael P]

Hey, dark, are you going for half-orc or *very* uncivilized human?

[Typo Lad]

So are we going to quest, or sit around and talk?

Epics don't write themselves, you know.

[darkkeeperjr]

The sort of evil dark elf who would NOT be welcome in this party.

So you're okay. Just checking.

*shakes head* "no no no no no evil here! I'm a friendly type guy that like to kill and take things from bad people.you don't have to worry about me."

[darkkeeperjr]

Hey, dark, are you going for half-orc or *very* uncivilized human?

Human, civilized will get you killed in the woods and some bars i know.

[K'Nort]

So are we going to quest, or sit around and talk?

Epics don't write themselves, you know.

We are dependent on a DM, however.

[darkkeeperjr]

We are dependent on a DM, however.

oh well hope to play soon.maybe we need to get a certain time to meet.

[Michael P]

By the way, just putting together a scorecard of races and classes for everyone:

Me: Human Monk
K'Nort: Dwarven Fighter/Cleric
Dreadstar:
Kramer: Elven Mage/Archer
Morts: Human Bimbo (female) with +4 delusions of grandeur
Winslow: Halfling
Shellhead: Drunk
Bouncing Boy: Half-Elven Bard
Rallura: Dwarven Fighter, finally
Slam: Cleric
Nathan: Halfling, I'm guessing Rogue
Dark Keeper: Human Fighter
ragnarok: Human Ranger, animated conversationalist
lalalei - Mage, focused on healing
Gaz - Mage, focus on offensive fire magic
tricksterpup: incontinent coyote
Jason Postel: Human Fighter
Doug Puthoff: Unicorn Slayer
Rachel Grey: Hastur-shouting weirdo
west3man: Feckin' n00b
Jagatai_Khan: In the wrong genre

[Bouncing Boy]

So are we going to quest, or sit around and talk?

Epics don't write themselves, you know.

You're new to rpgs aren't you?

[Typo Lad]

I'm a SWORDSWOMAN, thank you kindly.

I'm just a little... flighty.

[Typo Lad]

I'm a complete and utter virgin.

When it comes to RPGs, anyway.

[ragnarok_2012]

My name is Hank. I'm a human ranger with a bow that produces magic arrows, and all I want is to return home. I have nice, feathery blonde hair. :D

[Typo Lad]

You're new to rpgs aren't you?
I'm a complete and utter virgin.

When it comes to RPGs, anyway.

[ragnarok_2012]

It was funnier the first time ;)

So we're level 1, eh? Okay, I guess my magic bow gets yanked. But I still have lots of charisma stats tied into my feathery, blonde hair.

[Dreadstar]

Dreadstar:

Oh c'mon, I took a -1 on charisma for some other points, tossed two characters in front of me as cannon fodder then hid in the shadows.

I'm a paladin, of course.

[Bouncing Boy]

Bouncing Boy: Bard

Half-Elf Bard to be specific.

[Nate C.]

Nathan: Halfling, I'm guessing Rogue


sounds good, unless you have any suggestions.

and consider something for cousin, too.

[JeffreyWKramer]

*still scanning the orc gear/loot*

"Fire magics? I have some minor ones, but I'd rather not use them on dead orcs, when we might well need the power against live ones."

[Slam_Bradley]

We should lift the vile creatures into the trees...so the birds can feast upon their entrails.

[Michael P]

"Into the trees? Unless you've got a rope-and-pulley system in that pack, that'll be a lot of work just to ditch some corpses. Excepting the gourmet over there, let's just haul them off a good ways downwind."

[Joe Rice]

No, I think he's playing a bimbo now.

In DnD, is that a race or a class these days?

Prestige class.

[JeffreyWKramer]

Prestige class.


Ah, cool. What are the prerequisites?

Does the bimbo prestige class confer the Flury of Blowjobs special ability at higher levels?

[Joe Rice]

Ah, cool. What are the prerequisites?

Does the bimbo prestige class confer the Flury of Blowjobs special ability at higher levels?

Five ranks in Bluff, five ranks in Sleight of Handjob, the Persuasive feat.

[Slam_Bradley]

Five ranks in Bluff, five ranks in Sleight of Handjob, the Persuasive feat.


What about one-armed Indians? Teach me, Oh Sensai!

[lalalei2001]

Can I play?

[JeffreyWKramer]

Can I play?
Sure, join in.

[Slam_Bradley]

Can I play?


The more the merrier.

[lalalei2001]

Suddenly, a level 1 White Mage named Elsa walks up.

"Hi!"

[Slam_Bradley]

Suddenly, a level 1 White Mage named Elsa walks up.

"Hi!"


May the Golden Spirit of Elmo Moe shine upon thee.

[lalalei2001]

LOL.

"Thank you!"

*looks for monsters*

[Gaz]

OK, I'm in. Black mage with specialty in fire magic, or, if you like $10 words, a pyromancer.:)

[Dreadstar]

Prestige class.
One of us, one of us, one of us....

[Dreadstar]

So, important question here:

Who got the good swag?

[Slam_Bradley]

So, important question here:

Who got the good swag?


I don't think we ever found out what the swag was.

[JeffreyWKramer]

So, important question here:

Who got the good swag?


I'm still waiting to hear if anything is magical. Betting not, but it is worth checking. Otherwise, maybe some of the orc weapons are worth keeping.

[Bouncing Boy]

My name is Hank. I'm a human ranger with a bow that produces magic arrows, and all I want is to return home. I have nice, feathery blonde hair. :D


Please tell me you didn't bring Uni with you!

[Bouncing Boy]

I'm a complete and utter virgin.

When it comes to RPGs, anyway.

In that case let me take you by the hand and walk you through it...god that sounded so gay.

[JeffreyWKramer]

Please tell me you didn't bring Uni with you!
If so, we have monster bait!!

[JeffreyWKramer]

In that case let me take you by the hand and walk you through it...god that sounded so gay.

I'm guessing you're one of those bards who dresses in pink frilly shirts and sings falsetto?

[Bouncing Boy]

I'd do what I did in college when my roomates played D-n-D.

Watch with interest for about 15 minutes, then go back to doing my homework.


DORK

I meant to say that earlier, but forgot

[Bouncing Boy]

I'm guessing you're one of those bards who dresses in pink frilly shirts and sings falsetto?
But Mort's character is female, therefore it's okay. Besides as stated earlier, I'm bi, but my character's straight.

[ragnarok_2012]

*Hank brings in a small unicorn*

What?!?

[tricksterpup]

I piddle on the ground next to JeffreyWKramer.

[Jason Postel]

Damn already a few mages...

*A man enters wearing tinted blue armor carrying a lance in hand*

I am looking for some traveling partners and a great quest, can I join you brave warriors?

[Valmore]

Are there any girls here? If there's any girls here, I DO 'em!

(Got any Mountain Dew?)

You just made Morts the happiest woman alive... until his wife finds out that he's playing a female character and getting hit on in-game.

[Valmore]

I'm doing Detect Magic over the accumulated weapons and loot.

You note that a couple of the potion vials in one of the orcs backpacks glows with magic. Aside from that, the rest of the weapons and items are ordinary.

[Valmore]

Please tell me you didn't bring Uni with you!

If he did, Jeffrey gets an attack of opportunity to slay that annoying creature. There will be no annoyingly cute unicorns in this game.

[Valmore]

In total, there appears to be about 6 vials of unidentified magic potions, 154 copper, 59 silver, and 23 gold pieces. Various ordinary weapons include the axe Shell picked up, three short swords, two maces and a crossbow with 25 bolts in a pouch. There's also seven very beat-up sets of leather armor that will require repair and LOTS of washing to get the orc-stink out of. Three of the orcs were wearing bucklers. Aside from ordinary gear (i.e. backpacks and waterskins) the orcs do not appear to be wearing anything else.

Dusk is starting to set in, and there's a bit of a chill in the night air starting to settle in. You may want to consider either force-marching for the next town due northwest on the road or finding a clearing in the woods to make camp.

[Winslow]

DORK

I meant to say that earlier, but forgot

Dang. I've been labelled a dork by a fellow RPG player. Does that make me a "furry" in the geek caste system? ;)

[Winslow]

In total, there appears to be about 6 vials of unidentified magic potions, 154 copper, 59 silver, and 23 gold pieces. Various ordinary weapons include the axe Shell picked up, three short swords, two maces and a crossbow with 25 bolts in a pouch. There's also seven very beat-up sets of leather armor that will require repair and LOTS of washing to get the orc-stink out of. Three of the orcs were wearing bucklers. Aside from ordinary gear (i.e. backpacks and waterskins) the orcs do not appear to be wearing anything else.

Dusk is starting to set in, and there's a bit of a chill in the night air starting to settle in. You may want to consider either force-marching for the next town due northwest on the road or finding a clearing in the woods to make camp.

"Can anyone tell from the armor and markings where these orcs came from?

I'm not from these parts, and can't tell if they're a rogue band or a local scouting party.

BTW, I'm tired, and hungry, and I'm NOT in the mood for orc flesh"

[Typo Lad]

Um, so now what?

[Nate C.]

*pokes around, takes two shortswords, hands one to cousin, reccommends walking on. doesn't like the smell or the sound of this place.*

[darkkeeperjr]

* throws orcs ears in the small fire that i made*

"don't have the right spices with me"

* grabs the bolts and bow*

[Winslow]

Um, so now what?

We have to decide whether to go to a city, or make camp.

*receives short sword form Nate*

"Thank you cousin . . "

*assumes "passive-aggressive" posture, glares at Dreadstar . . says sarcastically*

"At least someone is watching out for me."

*Continuing with passive agressive tone, looks at darkkeeperjr*

"Do you think it wise to start a fire when the sun is setting and orcs are about?"

"I'm tired, but ale and a bed sound much better then sleeping in the woods with orcs about . . . "

[Typo Lad]

Well, how close is the nearest town? Can we make it by nightfall?

Because if we make camp now, we can secure our position and stuff, but if we're still travellign when the sun goes down, we'd be fair game.

That's what the "How To Be a Swordswoman" manual says, anyway.

[Nate C.]

whispers in cousin's ear, "There is a marked lack of leadership in this group. I wish one of the big people would take the donkey by the ear, so to speak. We're wasting precious sunlight."

*secretly passes Winslow another muffin.* "This may tide you for another quarter hour."

[ragnarok_2012]

If they're gonna start a fire and make camp, then I will set up a permiter and take first guard. I have a bow & a quiver full of arrows, leather armor and blonde hair in a feather cut.

[darkkeeperjr]

" I say we go to town.either we get attacked on the road or by a fire. also I need to wash away the smell of orcs ears off my fingers and replace it with a scent that i can sniff all day tomorrow. hee hee"
*loads bolt in crossbow*

*pisses on the small fire and put it out*

*waits for others*

[ragnarok_2012]

If it's down to a vote, then I say we make for town. And for simplicity's sake, I say that unless the next person who votes says differently we should leave now.

*continues to stand guard until a decision is made*

[Slam_Bradley]

Picks up mace (always good to have a spare).

"The Golden Spirit of Elmo Moe moves me to sojourn to the nearest tavern."


Besides...there's a lot of orc funk here.

[Winslow]

whispers in cousin's ear, "There is a marked lack of leadership in this group. I wish one of the big people would take the donkey by the ear, so to speak. We're wasting precious sunlight."

*secretly passes Winslow another muffin.* "This may tide you for another quarter hour."

whispers back,

"Thankee for the muffin."

"Aye, and there's not a wee bit of halfling sense in any of 'em. Maybe we'd be safer on our own then plodding along with these noisy big folk. Besides, if we make for the town, there'd be more ale for the both of us"

*winks and nudges with elbow*

[Nate C.]

whispers back,

"Thankee for the muffin."

"Aye, and there's not a wee bit of halfling sense in any of 'em. Maybe we'd be safer on our own then plodding along with these noisy big folk. Besides, if we make for the town, there'd be more ale for the both of us"

*winks and nudges with elbow*

"Ooh, I don't know, brother. The big folk will be great shields if more Orcs show up, and the two of us will have a hard time on the road tonight by ourselves.

Of course, if we go it alone, that's more muffins for ourselves."

(Winslow, play for me when you're on. I won't be back till Monday. Ya'll have a great weekend).

[Michael P]

"We're a pretty large group; if we make for town, we might not have enough gold to put us all up at an inn. The bard might be able to secure lodgings for himself and a few others, the wench could haul drinks for a night, but the rest of us might end up in a barn or something.

"Nonetheless, we'll be safer the closer we are to a settlement. Let's make for as close to the town as we can before dark, and if we have to, set up camp not far outside."

[JeffreyWKramer]

"Agreed."

The elf studies the potions. Are there any notable markings on the containers? Are the containers clear or opaque, and if clear, do they look distinct from each other? Was the general type of magic (transmutation, abjuration, etc.) distinguishable?

[K'Nort]

I'd rather sleep in a barn in town than hang out here. Let's go.

[Michael P]

"Okay, looks like we're all agreed. Let's burn the rest of this daylight. Ranger, you take the lead."

[Bouncing Boy]

Dang. I've been labelled a dork by a fellow RPG player. Does that make me a "furry" in the geek caste system? ;)

Well, I meant it in a loving way

[Bouncing Boy]

*takes out his lute and starts playing some traveling music to help the journey seem shorter and to help everyone walk faster* (singing) Moving right along in search of good times and good news, with good friends you can't loose...

[K'Nort]

"....this could become a habit!"

[Typo Lad]

*Whacks BB with her walking stick*

Play something epic.

[Bouncing Boy]

Ow! Fine.

*plays the tune Greensleaves*

In Sherwood Forest
There dwelt a knight
Who was known
As the righteous Sir Greenbaum

And many dragons
Had felt the might
Of the smite
Of the righteous Sir Greenbaum

I chanced upon him one morn
When he'd recently rescued a maiden fair
"Why, why art thou so forlorn
Sir Greenbaum, is thy heart heavy laden?"

Said he, "Forsooth
'Tis a sorry plight
That engendered my attitude bluish"
Said he, "I don't wanna be a knight
That's no job for a boy who is Jewish"

All day with the mighty sword
And the mighty steed and the mighty lance
All day with that heavy shield
And a pair of aluminum pants

All day with the slaying and slewing
And smiting and smoting like Robin Hood
Oh, wouldst I could kick the habit
And give up smoting for good

And so he said to the other knights,
"You may have my possessions and my goods
For I am moving to Shaker Heights
Where I've got some connections in dry goods"

Farewell to the dragon's paw
And the other swashbuckling games and sports
I'll work for my father in law
When I marry Miss Guinevere Schwartz"

[Dreadstar]

*tags along out of reach of Winslow and K'nort.*

[K'Nort]

*tags along out of reach of Winslow and K'nort.*

Considering you're dealing with a dwarf and a hobbit, neither of which carry ranged weapons, that should be easy to manage.

Although as a fighter-cleric, I may have a nasty spell or two.

[tricksterpup]

Hey Whats wrong with being Furry?
http://www.ohiohistorycentral.org/ohc/nature/animals/mammals/images/coyote.jpg

I wanna bite some Orc Tail.. grrr..

[Typo Lad]

Excuse me as I step out of character...

Did you write that yourself?

[Bouncing Boy]

Excuse me as I step out of character...

Did you write that yourself?

I'm not quite that clever. It's an Alan Sherman song, and I didn't even type it out I cut and pasted.

[Valmore]

The elf studies the potions. Are there any notable markings on the containers? Are the containers clear or opaque, and if clear, do they look distinct from each other? Was the general type of magic (transmutation, abjuration, etc.) distinguishable?

The potions appear to be in clear containers, and you can make out that three are of the same color while the other three have different colors. It's tough to say exacly what type of magic those last three came from, but if you were to wager a guess, the three that have the same color are probably healing potions, as they bear the distinct color of healing potions you've seen elsewhere.

The next town isn't too far off. You can make it with a few hours to spare before midnight if you go without too much incident.

[ragnarok_2012]

I take the lead, then.

"Come on, Uni....er......corn that I brought with me."

[Michael P]

*writing in his journal*

I was surprised at the resourcefulness of the Ranger. Aside from the skill it would take to tame such a creature, bringing along a unicorn showed excellent foresight.

After all, adventuring parties can sometimes go for days without finding game, and a one-centimeter cube of unicorn meat can sustain an adult human for an entire day...

[Typo Lad]

Well, now we all know that the Ranger is a virgin!

[ragnarok_2012]

Mmm, unicorn jerky.....

Er....nothing.

"Wow, people seem pretty rowdy back there. I heard one of them say something about virgins. Hopefully, the next town will have a brothel where she can get serviced."

*continues to scout ahead*

[darkkeeperjr]

*walking with the group.*

*weapons at the ready*

"oh gods,feels like we been standing around all day"

[tricksterpup]

You know, I would love a unicorn bone to gnaw on.. :)

[ragnarok_2012]

*is prepared to shush anybody who asks if we're there yet*

"Why don't the people at the very back work to obscure our tracks? At least make it difficult for the orcs to follow us."

[JeffreyWKramer]

The potions appear to be in clear containers, and you can make out that three are of the same color while the other three have different colors. It's tough to say exacly what type of magic those last three came from, but if you were to wager a guess, the three that have the same color are probably healing potions, as they bear the distinct color of healing potions you've seen elsewhere.

The elf picks up the potions, with the probably-healing ones in one hand, the others in another hand.

Gestures with one hand. "These three are probably healing potions, but we won't know for certain until someone takes one of them." He pockets one of the healing potions, sets the others out for someone else to claim. "I recommend these be passed out among those who don't have healing abilities of their own, in interest of spreading out a valuable resource."

Gestures with other hand. "These ones, I have no idea whatsoever. We may be able to identify them if someone takes a small sample, but that's not a sure thing. Anyone up for the experiment?"

[ragnarok_2012]

"I'll take one of those potential healing potions."

*goes onto cannon fodder duties up front*

[K'Nort]

The elf picks up the potions, with the probably-healing ones in one hand, the others in another hand.

Gestures with one hand. "These three are probably healing potions, but we won't know for certain until someone takes one of them." He pockets one of the healing potions, sets the others out for someone else to claim. "I recommend these be passed out among those who don't have healing abilities of their own, in interest of spreading out a valuable resource."

Gestures with other hand. "These ones, I have no idea whatsoever. We may be able to identify them if someone takes a small sample, but that's not a sure thing. Anyone up for the experiment?"

How about we see if we can find someone to identify cheaply in town first?

And I have healing abilities already so the rest of you are welcome to the potions. Particularly those with inadequate armor.

[darkkeeperjr]

*takes one healing, also takes a small amount of "mystery potion".*

[K'Nort]

*takes one healing, also takes a small amount of "mystery potion".*

* Gets the heck out of the way. *

[ragnarok_2012]

*is up front and presumably out of the way*

*hears the warning anyway and dives for ground*

[darkkeeperjr]

* Gets the heck out of the way. *
Sorry ,meant to say i will put them in my pocket!

[ragnarok_2012]

Whoops, I thought that was the a spoken warning.

At any rate *is up front and probably out of danger*

[tricksterpup]

*sniffs the camp for some good scrapes of left over food. "

[Valmore]

*takes one healing, also takes a small amount of "mystery potion".*

Are you sure you want to do that? I may have to make a roll on the potion miscibility chart. And which mystery potion did you take? Since I forgot to identify the colors earlier, you'll note the healing ones are light blue. The other three are a saffron yellow, a murky brown and a royal purple.

[darkkeeperjr]

Are you sure you want to do that? I may have to make a roll on the potion miscibility chart. And which mystery potion did you take? Since I forgot to identify the colors earlier, you'll note the healing ones are light blue. The other three are a saffron yellow, a murky brown and a royal purple.

*getting a closer look at the bottles i take the one i know as healing drink. carefully putting the other down.*

[ragnarok_2012]

*hopes someone is cover the tracks as he scouts ahead*

[Valmore]

*getting a closer look at the bottles i take the one i know as healing drink. carefully putting the other down.*

You take a swig of the light blue potion and feel pretty good. The pain goes away, and any wounds you had start fading and stop bleeding.

*hopes someone is cover the tracks as he scouts ahead*

You scout up ahead and don't run into anything dangerous. You note that there are some fresh horse tracks on the ground, along with some peanut shells. A sign on the side of the road points west to "Garcondale" - the nearest town.

[K'Nort]

A sign on the side of the road points west to "Garcondale" - the nearest town.

We're in France?

[ragnarok_2012]

*leads the group towards the town*

"Do orcs like peanuts? If so, we might be seeing some action."

[dougputhoff]

I find Uni and kill him.

[ragnarok_2012]

I find Uni and kill him.

I attempt to defend Uni.

[Valmore]

I find Uni and kill him.

doug has successfully sucked up to the DM. His character gains immunity from melee weapons and a permanent +2 to any one stat of his choice for this brilliant action.

Remember to save the meat - unicorns is good eating!

[ragnarok_2012]

"Uni!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

[Rachel Grey]

Leaps out at the party. Hastur Hastur Hastur!!

[Bouncing Boy]

*leads the group towards the town*

"Do orcs like peanuts? If so, we might be seeing some action."

"Actually I would guess it's traveling performers of some kind. Might be a circus, or a Comedia Del Arte troupe, or even a Traveling Hetrodine Show."Leaps out at the party. Hastur Hastur Hastur!!
GAH!!! *falls on his but* DON'T DO THAT!!!!

[darkkeeperjr]

I find Uni and kill him.

"should had collected the blood. heard the blood can do things for you"

*takes small vial out of pocket and collect uni's blood.

*put vial in pocket*

"good job in killing it thou. got it in one blow"

[darkkeeperjr]

GAH!!! *falls on his but* DON'T DO THAT!!!![/QUOTE]


"makes you wonder what your scout looks at when he scouting"

[Valmore]

Leaps out at the party. Hastur Hastur Hastur!!

You startle some of the party members, including the bard. They begin to wonder what your intentions are. Some of them may even possibly be bringing out weapons.

[Winslow]

You startle some of the party members, including the bard. They begin to wonder what your intentions are. Some of them may even possibly be bringing out weapons.

*chucks rock at Rachel's head*

[darkkeeperjr]

You startle some of the party members, including the bard. They begin to wonder what your intentions are. Some of them may even possibly be bringing out weapons.

*aims crossbow at startler but dosen't fire yet.*

[Valmore]

Winslow tosses a rock at the "Hastur"-shouting startler. DKJr. currently has his crossbow aimed at her. The rock is coming at your head, Rachael.

[Michael P]

I go into a combat-ready stance. Also, just a moment ago, I put two pounds of unicorn meat into my pack.

[Dreadstar]

While everyone's got their attention focused on Rachael, I'm going to use one of my daggers to carve of the unicorn horn and slip it into my pack.

[JeffreyWKramer]

The elf stands way back, draws his bow, nocks an arrow, doesn't point at anyone at this point but does keep his eye on the apparent summoner of elder horrors.

[ragnarok_2012]

Unfortunately, this person arrived while I was grief-stricken over the unicorn's demise.

"How will I ever explain this to Bobby?"

[tricksterpup]

*grabs the unicorn horn from Dreadstar's back and bury's it behind a rock.*

[Dreadstar]

*grabs the unicorn horn from Dreadstar's back and bury's it behind a rock.*

You're going to try to steal from a rogue?

That could be a pretty rough DC, go for it.

I got's some pretty sharp knivesesses, and a hankering a for coyote hat...

[K'Nort]

You startle some of the party members, including the bard. They begin to wonder what your intentions are. Some of them may even possibly be bringing out weapons.

Yep.

*draws sword*

[Valmore]

Okay, many people are now standing in battle stance awaiting to see what happens with Rachael and the rock going near her head.

Also, Uni is in pieces, much to the delight of most everyone, except RK, who now has to tell Bobby that his pet unicorn is a tasty meat snack for the adventuring party.

Dreadstar, you notice a tugging at your backpack.

[Rallura]

*wanders through with a bag of chex mix*

I can't find the... you kept playing without me! Bastards!

*dumps chex mix on Valmore's head and stomps out*





*pokes head back in*

This doesn't mean I am not still in the game, cause I so am.

[Dreadstar]

I turn and see a coyote trying to get at the horn. I quickly prevent him.

I reach into the backpack and pull out a little leather ball I use for juggling and show it to the nice coyote, bouncing it up and down in my hand and occasionally faking tossing it too him.

"Here, Trickie! Like the ball Trickie? Nice ball! Wanna play, Trickie? FETCH!"

...and I toss the ball over the conveiniently located cliff on the other side of the road.

[Typo Lad]

*pouts*

I'm borrrred.

[Dreadstar]

*pouts*

I'm borrrred.

I reach into my pack for a second leather ball.


Wanna play "fetch?"

[Typo Lad]

I'm not playing with your balls, I don't know where they've been.

[JeffreyWKramer]

I'm not playing with your balls, I don't know where they've been.

Don't blame him for the bugbear chick. It was late, he'd had a few too many ales...

[Valmore]

*wanders through with a bag of chex mix*

I can't find the... you kept playing without me! Bastards!

*dumps chex mix on Valmore's head and stomps out*

*pokes head back in*

This doesn't mean I am not still in the game, cause I so am.

The Dungeon Master gets Chex Mix dumped all over his head. He hopes that it's the sweet and salty brand, and that the floor is relatively well-kept. He then yells out to the dumper, "Have you rolled up a new character yet or what?!?"

*pouts*

I'm borrrred.

Morts has incurred the wrath of the DM, his character is attacked by a level 5 rabid squirrel. Roll for initiative.

[tricksterpup]

I turn and see a coyote trying to get at the horn. I quickly prevent him.

I reach into the backpack and pull out a little leather ball I use for juggling and show it to the nice coyote, bouncing it up and down in my hand and occasionally faking tossing it too him.

"Here, Trickie! Like the ball Trickie? Nice ball! Wanna play, Trickie? FETCH!"

...and I toss the ball over the conveiniently located cliff on the other side of the road.

*I run after the ball and then jump off the cliff catching the ball in mid air and then falling into the lake below.*

[Typo Lad]

Morts has incurred the wrath of the DM, his character is attacked by a level 5 rabid squirrel. Roll for initiative.

What does a "4" mean?

[JeffreyWKramer]

*I run after the ball and then jump off the cliff catching the ball in mid air and then falling into the lake below.*


The one with the Kraken in it?

[tricksterpup]

Ah Crap..

*I doggie paddle to shore avoiding the Kraken. Once on shore I shake my fur and the water flies off and hits an OWL BEAR. The Owlbear gets pissed and chases me back to camp while I drop the ball at Dreadstar's feet.*

[darkkeeperjr]

* cuts a piece of uni's meat with my free hand . wrap it up and stow it in one of my many pockets.*

[darkkeeperjr]

Leaps out at the party. Hastur Hastur Hastur!!


" could this be one of the forest vision designed to stall us from reaching the town

[Bouncing Boy]

*gets up and draws short sword*

[west3man]

*gets up and draws short sword*
*sits down and takes out eraser*

You've been disarmed, sir. Submit!

[ragnarok_2012]

*decides to find a puppy or kitten and tell Bobby that Venger turned the unicorn into it*

*nocks an arrow and aims it at the mystery man*

[Valmore]

What does a "4" mean?

It means you have first strike against a level five rabid squirrel.

Roll your attack.

[Valmore]

*sits down and takes out eraser*

You've been disarmed, sir. Submit!

west3man gets 50 experience points for the clever wit.

[Rachel Grey]

Gets hit in the head by a rock, falls over and gets back up laughing madly. The Old Ones are apon us!! Apon us I say!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[Bouncing Boy]

*sits down and takes out eraser*

You've been disarmed, sir. Submit!

*bonks west3man with his lute*Gets hit in the head by a rock, falls over and gets back up laughing madly. The Old Ones are apon us!! Apon us I say!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

You're a LOONY!!!!

[west3man]

west3man gets 50 experience points for the clever wit.
Oooh. I can use those, cuz I've got none (unless sitting back and observing with little understanding counts).

Thank you. *bows or courtsies (sp?) or whatever*