Levels of Hell

[PatrickG]

Okay. So my summer roommates all backed out due to cash. No big. I live on campus. I get charged the same.

I get a new roommate.

And I am at a loss to understand the guy.

He's this toothpick thin guy with a mass of hair who plays electric guitar ALL DAY LONG. All he ever talks about is eating healthy, alternative rock and dumb comedies. He's like a pop culture zeitgeist.

I find out he's the son of the CEO for a major defense contractor. Which explains the sheltered, spacey thing... maybe. I mean, I know and have met a few millionaires but I've never really met anyone who was born into it.

But he plays electric guitar until 1AM. Granted, I'd be up anyway... But his singing makes me want to beat my head against a wall. It's all this fake passion. He could make Springsteen sound Emo.

And the first day, he was all like, "Do you mind if I have girls over...?"

"No", I say. Because I assumed they'd be friends of his. Or that he had a girlfriend.

But instead it's this stream of girls that he picks up at concerts and around town in his SUV. And I hear the mattress springs squeaking through the walls.

And it boggles my mind how someone can hate alcohol and tobacco and be cool with non-monagamous sex and SUVs. Then it hits me: This is a suburban kid.

One frustrating thing about this college is that this accounts for most of the students. Their parents pay full tuition. They drive SUVs in loud colors with sound systems you can hear three blocks away. They hate alcohol and caffeine, love Jesus, love alternative rock, love lots of sex and love extreme sports. They bike around. They talk about pro sports. They change relationships more often than most people do laundry. They look and dress like kids on a WB teen show.

And it makes me want to rip my hair out. I drive a Neon. I like a bit of alcohol now and then (don't really care for drunkeness... which places me in an awkward middle ground). I WORSHIP caffeine. I'd rather talk philosophy than religion. I can dig a little bit of any music but big band is where my heart is. Relationships are a big deal to me and so I find myself shunning the advances of otherwise attractive girls because I want somebody with the same... trajectory, direction. I don't want a relationship to be about making me and the other person feel better about ourselves. I want partnership and I run like the dickens from party girls who I don't see that prospect in. I know nothing about any sports. I never learned to ride a bike. I talk Shakespeare and global cultural trends. I haven't had a relationship in two years.

And... and... about as close as I come to dressing like people on a WB show is, well...

A couple of times while watching Buffy (episodes I'd never seen before) I realized I was wearing the same outfit as Xander. I think I've seen Joss Whedon wearing the same clothes I do too.

I was born on the cusp but I really must be a cantankerous Gen Xer.

Actually... Browsing through facebook, it becomes really apparent. Only six people at my school like Barenaked Ladies. I'm one of very few guys who likes Matchbox Twenty.

And all these kids are listing "Real Love" as one of their favorite books. How can a self-help book be one of your favorite books? HOW??? How can it be 143 people's favorite book???

Sorry. Had to get this off my chest.

These new kids are like Baby Boomer Redux except they just skipped straight to gurus, conservatism and selling out. Ugh.

[matterconsumer]

Go in and sing songs with the guy.

Every time he starts to play and you don't want to hear it start singing.

If you hear the spring of the mattress bounce around on yours.

Moan loudly.

But try to keep in mind that buildings are usually built cheaply which results in unintentional shared life experiences.

Some folk will have wealth, looks, and lots of sexual opportunity. The sun will rise and set. I wouldn't expend much thought on what others have. Instead seek your own goals.

That will be 25 cents and optionally the head of J Kramer...

[PatrickG]

I started digging on this "Real Love" book.

Here (http://www.iloveulove.com/unconditlove/reallove.htm) is the author's summary.

PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one whose reaction is a resounding "Well, duh!" followed by nausea...

I know one of the English profs used it for a comp class and that it somehow became a phenomenon here beyond that comp class.

But, honestly, freshman comp classes and the topics they discuss are a load of fluff in my opinion. Oooh. High school dress codes. About as meaty as we got in mine was comparing and contrasting Malcolm X and MLK.

I love English to death. Maybe it's snobby of me but I think it takes a pretty shallow person for their 101 comp class to be a major influence on their life...

... But then again, I'm usually hanging out with professors after class and trading cheesey wisecracks about Bush and discussing textual criticism. My favorite profs tend to be a little cynical, a little jaded. They're the guys I wave to at the local pubs not gurus on love and the universe. More advisors than mentors.

Maybe that's one difference in how I view the professors. I don't see them as parental figures. I don't see the classes as mana from heaven designed to get me a better job.

These guys are just my better trained co-workers and my goal is to surpass them by the time I'm their age.

*sigh* Okay. Now I've ranted enough. :)

[The Xenos]

At least your roomate doesn't sing and/or play along to Futurama and Simpsons episodes over and over again at 1am when you're trying to sleep. No, I don't know how works either.

-Xenos

[Rabid Trekkie]

Someone else likes the Bare Naked Ladies? I haven't been able to find their cd's any where around here, I'm going to try getting them off of Amazon soon.

Anyway, I'd say that you are better off in life than your roommate. Nothing worse than rich punks who think they know how to live. Don't worry, one day you'll be old and happily married and eating well and he'll be in a huge mansion barely surviving on a vegan diet and too old for women to want.

[PatrickG]

At least your roomate doesn't sing and/or play along to Futurama and Simpsons episodes over and over again at 1am when you're trying to sleep. No, I don't know how works either.

-Xenos

Uh. Actually...

[PatrickG]

But there's an upside!

I only room with him through August 5th.

Then I'm back to my single room which I have squatting rights on. (Biggest reason I don't move off campus.)

[CaptMagellan]

And all these kids are listing "Real Love" as one of their favorite books. How can a self-help book be one of your favorite books? HOW??? How can it be 143 people's favorite book???


I wondered the same thing about "The Celestine Prophecy" when it was on the best seller lists.

But until August 5th, since Big Band is your musical passion, you should rent an affordable trombone and practice in your room when he's there. Unless he's got a large Marshall stack (or something comparable) when it's Trombone vs. Single amplifier, the Trombone will win. Every time. ;)

[Cam63]

Okay. So my summer roommates all backed out due to cash. No big. I live on campus. I get charged the same.

I get a new roommate.

And I am at a loss to understand the guy.

He's this toothpick thin guy with a mass of hair who plays electric guitar ALL DAY LONG. All he ever talks about is eating healthy, alternative rock and dumb comedies. He's like a pop culture zeitgeist.

I find out he's the son of the CEO for a major defense contractor. Which explains the sheltered, spacey thing... maybe. I mean, I know and have met a few millionaires but I've never really met anyone who was born into it.

But he plays electric guitar until 1AM. Granted, I'd be up anyway... But his singing makes me want to beat my head against a wall. It's all this fake passion. He could make Springsteen sound Emo.

And the first day, he was all like, "Do you mind if I have girls over...?"

"No", I say. Because I assumed they'd be friends of his. Or that he had a girlfriend.

But instead it's this stream of girls that he picks up at concerts and around town in his SUV. And I hear the mattress springs squeaking through the walls.

And it boggles my mind how someone can hate alcohol and tobacco and be cool with non-monagamous sex and SUVs. Then it hits me: This is a suburban kid.

One frustrating thing about this college is that this accounts for most of the students. Their parents pay full tuition. They drive SUVs in loud colors with sound systems you can hear three blocks away. They hate alcohol and caffeine, love Jesus, love alternative rock, love lots of sex and love extreme sports. They bike around. They talk about pro sports. They change relationships more often than most people do laundry. They look and dress like kids on a WB teen show.

And it makes me want to rip my hair out. I drive a Neon. I like a bit of alcohol now and then (don't really care for drunkeness... which places me in an awkward middle ground). I WORSHIP caffeine. I'd rather talk philosophy than religion. I can dig a little bit of any music but big band is where my heart is. Relationships are a big deal to me and so I find myself shunning the advances of otherwise attractive girls because I want somebody with the same... trajectory, direction. I don't want a relationship to be about making me and the other person feel better about ourselves. I want partnership and I run like the dickens from party girls who I don't see that prospect in. I know nothing about any sports. I never learned to ride a bike. I talk Shakespeare and global cultural trends. I haven't had a relationship in two years.

And... and... about as close as I come to dressing like people on a WB show is, well...

A couple of times while watching Buffy (episodes I'd never seen before) I realized I was wearing the same outfit as Xander. I think I've seen Joss Whedon wearing the same clothes I do too.

I was born on the cusp but I really must be a cantankerous Gen Xer.

Actually... Browsing through facebook, it becomes really apparent. Only six people at my school like Barenaked Ladies. I'm one of very few guys who likes Matchbox Twenty.

And all these kids are listing "Real Love" as one of their favorite books. How can a self-help book be one of your favorite books? HOW??? How can it be 143 people's favorite book???

Sorry. Had to get this off my chest.

These new kids are like Baby Boomer Redux except they just skipped straight to gurus, conservatism and selling out. Ugh.

Pull his spine out through the back of his head.

That'll learn the fucker.

[angryrican]

Pull his spine out through the back of his head.

That'll learn the fucker.

You are my new role model.

[Lunar Daydreamer]

Someone else likes the Bare Naked Ladies? I haven't been able to find their cd's any where around here, I'm going to try getting them off of Amazon soon.

try www.dvdboxoffice.com for Bare Naked Ladies music ... it's a great Canadian website which ships worldwide for free :)

[taintedlunch]

So long story short: you're weird.

I kid. I kid because I love.

Seriously though, you're on two year dry spell and you're complaining because he brings girls over? Reminds me of a joke...

****

There's a flood and there's a really religious guy who escapes to his roof. He prays as the waters continue to rise.

A man comes by in a small boat and motions the guy in.

"I have prayed and The Lord will deliver me."

The water rises and he's knee deep. A larger boat comes by. They beg him to get it.

"I am waiting for the Lord to save me."

The water is up to his neck now. A helicopter hovers overhead. They drop a ladder.

"Your attempts to rescue me are not necessary. The Lord will save me."

They leave, and within an hour the man drowns. He awakens in Heaven, where he comes face-to-face with God.

"Lord, I waited and waited for you to save me, but you didn't!"

"Hey, I sent you two boats and a helicopter what more did you want?"

****

I think The Lord's trying to tell you something, son.

[PatrickG]

Probably. :)

This was more of a vent topic... But I'm glad to see a few of you guys took interest. :)

I don't know if *I* would have read this topic.

[taintedlunch]

Just tell him the joke. If he doesn't laugh, smack him. He's evil.

[CaptMagellan]

Just tell him the joke. If he doesn't laugh, smack him. He's evil.

With the trombone. Smack him with *the trombone*

[Red Berens]

I work in a high school, and most of my day is spent talking with 16-18 year old kids. If you lose your own preconceived notions, and actually listen to them, you might be suprised. Yes he's different than you, but that's not bad. If you accept him as he is, you might start to appreciate him for what his is, and not what he isn't. Everyone can teach you something about yourself. I'm really sorry if this sounds preachy - it's not meant to be. If you start talking to him, he might just learn something too. Help him out - maybe he doesn't know why SUV's are bad.