Johnny Messner (Anacondas) claims Orlando Bloom Has Female Parts

[Magneto_X]

www.rottentomatoes.com/vine/showthread.php?t=361497

Thought you guys would love to read this thread & interview.

[PatrickG]

Oy. Issues. He delves into that Dave Sim/J-Bolt territory in places with some really ODD topic drifts in the middle of an answer.

However, I will say that I DO think he's right. It's something I've observed.

Ultra-thin, fair-complected men with long eyelashes seem to be in style.

There was a time when a big rugged guy with a few calluses and scars had sex appeal. When a chunky guy could be considered sexy.

But I don't see John Goodman or anybody of his ilk getting the lead roles or appearing on posters or whatnot.

A lot has been made of the fact that "the ideal woman" has gone down in size (past the point of what's healthy). Marilyn Munroe would never be cast as a lead today. She'd be a "plus size" model.

But the same is true of men. The big male actors today are these lanky, spider-like guys. Many are a bit below average height. Many can't grow facial hair. Shiny hair. Big, long eyelashes.

I don't think Cary Grant or Clark Gable would make it today. People would say they're too old, too bulky, too wrinkled, too fat, too hairy.

Heck, a LOT of industry people have cited Tom Selleck as the modern Clark Gable. Now, where is he again?

Men in media are expected to be young, funny, unintimidating and a little bit pretty.

I think Matt Lauer nearly lost his job as a news anchor when he refused to hide the fact that he was going bald and that he made a very deliberate choice not to hide his baldness with surgery or wigs.

I still think the Anacondas guy is a bit nuts. ($10 says he's shooting to be the next Bruce Campbell with interviews like this...) But I don't disagree with his overall assertion that men are expected to be prettier today than they were twenty years ago.

Case in point: How many guys here shave their body? A good portion of my friends do and think there's something wrong with anybody who has chest hair. In 1980, chest hair was seen as something sexy.

[Crowley]

my dad and I were recently talking about that as we're both of the "hairy beast men" variety and he pointed out that all it takes is for a rocker to pull off his shirt and hairy chests will be back IN.

I think some women have always liked men with soft features...Young Sinatra, Elvis, James Dean, Paul McCartney and Davey Jones come to mind.

I think now women are looking for men who have both masculine and feminine features... Brad Pitt and Christian Bale comes to mind. Clean shaven they're pretty boys but throw on a dirty wife beater and some facial hair and they can look "rugged"

but we'll likely never have a Bogart or John Wayne anymore. Hell... if George Reeves were in his prime today he'd never be able to be cast as Superman.

[PatrickG]

Case in point, the George Reeves biopic had an actor who was a dead ringer. He NAILED his audition.

And the studio pressured the director down a path that's led to Ben Affleck in the role.

[The Xenos]

Wait.. so if he has a vagina and I find him hot.. that doesn't make me gay, right?

-Xenos

[PatrickG]

I think that's what Johnny Messner is hoping...

Pfeh.

Anybody else at the SDCC panel last year where, in order to stall for Sarah Michelle Gellar, they played Anacondas footage and bloopers. The poor studio guy more or less got booed off stage... And let me explain that this audience was actually pretty receptive to the stalling tactics both before and after the Anacondas trailer.

We geeks remember the brave souls, our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and second cousins in arms who went down fighting as they watched the first Anaconda flick. We remember and witness the wounded, the people who have obviously lost brain cells watching the first film and we were determined not to see a second Anaconda flick. Unfortunately, this bomb was reassigned from direct-to-video to theatrical release.

Although the prinicipal conflict is now over, there are still many small brushfires to be put out, many wrongs to repair. The Sci-Fi Channel, for instance, has forgotten what "sci-fi" is. Apparently, it's sword and sorcery, psychics, people on the run from wild animals and, yes, Boa versus Python.

When will they learn? When will anyone learn that Jaws is the only decent movie about mutated animals posing a threat to humans and even Jaws puts a sizable number of people to sleep (most of whom are afraid to admit this sad fact)?

Someday, I hope. Someday soon.