Reason # 13 why I love living in Austin

[bert]

yeah yeah. . it's 100 Degrees every day already. . .but we get cool stuff like this:

http://www.originalalamo.com/online_tix/show_details.asp?show_id=2737

:)

already got my tix (for my friend Russell and myself). . . . even if the movies suck (and I'm guessing most of them will). . it's inside, it's air conditioned, and they sell BEER and Food there !

gonna be fun

(I do wish Nick liked horror flicks tho. . it would be more fun to go w/ him).

[bert]

Well. .

I'm tired, but that was a FREAKIN BLAST !!

heh. . 6 films, none of which I'd seen before, and 5 of which were GREAT!

The Alamo did a special for this : a breakfast buffet, and unlimited soda/coffee if you wanted for a $10 buy in.

I dunno if I can recall all of it -- lack of sleep and all. . but:

1st film: Devil Times Five (starring Leif Garrett ! -- as a cross-dressing, insane asylum kid). Obviously from the early 70's, It's about 5 kids from an asylum who escape during a car crash, and find their way to an isolated home where a group of people are spending the weekend -- including Boss Hogg and Karen's Maid (from Will and Grace).

THis one was SOOOO bad it was brilliant (one kids a pyro, so there's an attack w/ fire, but there's also death by bear traps buried under the snow, AND death by Piranah -- poured into the bathtub while one character is taking a bubble bath yep, you read that right :)


2nd film: The Three Extremes -- new film from Lion's Gate/Japan, that puts 3 of the top directors together and lets each of them do a 35 minute short film. The first one, "Dumplings", stars Bai Ling, and is supremely creepy and gross. . . the second one has a decent premise (a man kidnaps a director and his wife and tortures them until the Director admits he's not a decent man by strangling a captive child), but runs out of steam, and he didnt' know how to end it. . . but the third one "the Box". . about a circus act sister team, and one sister being haunted by what she did to the other?. . just gorgeous to look at, and blew me away.


3rd film: couldn't remember the name if you paid me, but it was a very early zombie flick by the guy who directed "Baby Geniouses" :). . about a soldier who's Mother made him promise "not to die" during Vietnam. . so when he gets killed, he comes back anyways, moves into the home, and starts killing people to inject thier blood into his body so he can keep "alive". . .another one that was so bad it was good, this one had the sold out crowd HOWLING w/ laughter -- particularly when he puts on dark sunglasses and thick black gloves to hide the rot (because, he's going on a date to a drive in. . yeah. . he puts this on and goes to see a movie in the dark, and NO ONE QUESTIONS IT. . heh). The reaction from a neighborhood kid, when the zombie guy kills a dog is priceless too. . .very similar to a child dropping his ice cream on the ground. . LOL

4th film: "the Roost".. a new twist on the old Saturday Morning Creatre Features. . . . this one is about four young adults who get in a wreck on a back road on the way to a wedding, and what happens when they stop at a house for help -- too bad the barn is home to a colony of bats. . and not just any bats. I don't want to spoil this in case you get a chance to see it (on video, or maybe it will get a release), but the "twist" about halfway in, had us cheering. . .

5th film: this one was a test of endurance. I think it was called "shreik", but it was released in the US as "Behind the Door II". . starring Dario Argento's ex wife. . . . . boy. . did this one suck.. . . it dragged, and dragged, and dragged. . . slowly going nowhere. When it perked up in the last 10 minutes (a great shot of the young son turning into a dead adult as he runs into his Mother's arms was really well done), it still wasn't enough to save it.

Yep, a rat running up a womans vagina wasn't enough to save this :). . . people clapped at the end, but I think it was because it was finally over. Seriously. . during the break, I couldn't find one person (including Harry Knowles himself) who liked it.

by this time, it was coming on 7am, and we had one film left. Russell was ready to go, and even I was wiped out from that long film that just finished.. . but we decided to at least stay to see what the last film was (they were announcing them as they were getting ready to play. . and they had been teasing this last one all night).

I'm so glad we did. . the last film, was the best film of the night: "Satan's Fetus"

From Korea (I think), with horribly bad subtitling, this film is everything a film should be: Scary, funny, bizarre, lots of gore, and lots of ???what the hell ?? moments. The basic story is a woman buys a jade vase at an auction -- despite the fact the creature on the side of the vase turns and growls at her during the opining credits. When she gets home, and starts "touching" the vase, it becomes immediately obvious that when you hold it upside-down, it looks like a big jade-dildo. . . before you know it, the vase morphs into a big, rubber-godzilla-like creature, and has sex with her. . .

her husband catches them, and breaks the vase. . which then sprays him w/ something that causes him to melt and die. . . then the woman dies. . . her family calls on the local religous leader who goes into a long explanation about re-incarnation, and how they must keep the shrine safe to protect the dead woman and man's souls. . . of course, someone doesnt' follow the rules, and the soul of the demon child starts jumping from body to body -- including the family dog !!

Kung Fu, gore, stop motion creature melts, poltergiest like effects. . . just brilliant!

so how was your weekend?

[kid cthulhu]

Hey, not to mention you guys have got the second best music scene in the country (right behind ours of course!) :D

[Ronald Bryan]

Of course "Box" from Three Extremes was great. It's Miike!