Have You Ever Been...

[Gail Simone]

...a victim of racism or sexism?

Gail

[Puffy Treat]

Yes to racism.

[TCJohnson]

Racism....well, a bit ostracized because I grew up in a mostly jewish community. Not out-right racism, but there were some parents who did not approve of their children being friends with me.

I was once a victim of homophobia. I had gone bowling with some friends in college. Because we were four guys walking alone at night, some guys walking across the street from us began calling us fags and told us they would kill us if they saw any of us holding hands. We kept walking and they threw some beer bottles at us and ran away. Hit one of my friends in the head...he was ok but required some stitches and had a nasty scar after that.

[YoGo]

Oh yeah.

I walk down the street and all women do is see my as an object of desire. Not the sensitive soul inside. Even job interviews, it's like im a piece of meat sitting in a chair. Can I help it if i have a butt that can crack walnuts??

But seriously, I went to boarding school in Perth, Australia and i had some tough times dealing with people there who had very strong and idiotic pre-conceived notions about asians. Add to that the fact that it's high school plus we're all living in the same building, well things could get unpleasant.

But two things helped me. First was a teacher in primary school who told me before I left to NOT just hang around with the asian kids. Go and try to connect with the australian kids too, i'll have a better and more fulfilling experience. Because it was typical and the natural thing to do and gravitate towards the people you know and form little cliques, which after a certain point limits your horizons.

Second was a decision I made to actually befriend and try to win over some of the most racist and idiotic people in the boarding house. Why? Cos I realised I'd have to live with these people day in, day out for the next 5 years. And it worked, I gained their respect eventually for being myself, but at the same time not being too stubborn and arrogant or insulted to build bridges. Honestly it was horrible quite often, and being a young overweight asian kid away from home I would end up being punched or made fun of, crying alot or having to swallow my anger to avoid a pointless confrontation.

I also had three younger brothers coming up behind me, no way was I going to let them deal with the crap I had to go through.

I wont say it was all my doing, but by the end of my five years, the attitude of students to asians was amazingly better and the level of bullying and racist attitudes were the minority where before it was a typical mindset. And I even got voted by the rest of the boarders to be the first Asian House Vice-Captain, that was pretty cool and made me feel like I did at least contribute something to the school. Which is like a Class Vice Prez in America i guess.

And now I have friends in Australia who years after leaving school, we've still remained in close contact. And yeah, it was worth the trouble overcoming those barriers.

p.s I'm not saying it is typical of Aussies to be racist, it was an experience I had in school and the MAJORITY of Aussies I meet are down right good people.

[Phoney Bone]

In high school I dated a black girl and lost someone who I thought was my friend because he was a bigoted jackass.

[TCJohnson]

That reminds me...my girlfriend is afraid to introduce me to her father because she is afraid he will become violent when he learns I am white. Which is really odd since his wife is white.

[Melissa]

Does the opposite count?

I can't recall ever being a victim of sexism, but I've definitely gotten advantages that other people (who arent tiny young blonde chicks) haven't.

[Jade_GL]

At my job I am a victim of sexism once a week.

People assume that a small, mousy girl can't know anything about hardware and painting products. One of my coworkers has had people return stuff twice saying things about me that were outright lies. One said I chose their stain color for them (yeah, right, that's one thing we would never do for a customer) and one said I told him to paint something without nay prep (untrue, I always go throught the clean, dry and dull speil). My coworker knows they were lying and just trying to blame it on the girl in the department, but he couldn't call them on it.

The worst is when a guy, or girl, asks when the guys are going to be in. I can answer their questions just as well as the next male, but because I am a girl, and young, they think I must not know anything.

Sigh, working in a hardware store is tough sometimes. :)

[Jeff Brady]

I'm a 26 year old straight white male.

So...no, not really. I may have been called a "crackah-ass-crackah" once in a while, but I think that's funny.

[Crowley]

...a victim of racism or sexism?

Gail
yup and yup... I'll go into those stories later on

[muimi]

Yes, several times. I'm lucky enough to live in Norcal where there's a lot of Asians so no one turns a head. But tI've trekked out of the Bay Area, even up to Tahoe, I've encountered racism. Once, while traveling with Korean family friends, up in Tahoe, we were pointedly ignored at a restaurant. The waiter made it a point to serve the Caucasian couples that came in after us. I was maybe 10 at the time. Other times I've encountered racism were subtle. Other Asians not thinking I was good enough or "belonged" because I was Filipino and not Chinese, Japanese or whatever they were. Pfft to interethnic racism.

An interesting aside: when I met my hubs-to-be's little cousin, she actually came up to me and patted me on the arm and asked, "What are you?" Not that she was being mean or racist -- she was only 7 -- but because she was geninuely curious. She's Vietnamese, raised in Indiana. My hubs-to-be explained that she had never seen a Filipino before, someone as brown skinned as I. It still threw me for a loop though.

Sexism? Oh god, yes. From my own family, even. My dad is from the old school belief that girls are to do one thing and boys are to do another. Period. A girl wanting to play with video games and computers? No. That's a boys activity. A girl wanting to defy her father? No, that's a boys thing. All my life I was told "if you were a boy, I'd let you do the things you want to do. But you aren't so you have to do as I say." My dad told me because I was a girl, I could never work with computers because that was what boys did.

Going to a technical school didn't help, either. Time and time again, I was faced with men being pissy that a girl dared score better than they did on tests. Pffft.

[Samurai]

Yes to racism... I was told (in not so many words) I didn't get a job because I'm white. It was a Japanese company's branch office in California, and 95% of the people there were Asian. I was asked literally 3 times (in slightly different ways) during the interview how I expected to "fit in" at the company... I told them I'd lived and worked in Japan for 2 years very successfully and knew Japanese business culture first hand. Wasn't good enough for them.

[YoGo]

I've actually found that the Japanese businessmen here in Singapore tend to keep things pretty close to the vest in general.

Here in Singapore we have Japanese research and broking houses which have caucasian men setup as basically figurehead MDs or CEOs for their overseas branches. But everyone knows the people who make the decisions are the Japanese managers working under them and to deal with them, you have to deal with the Japanese, not the figureheads.

[phoenixrising]

I deal with sexis every single day in my career field. No matter how many female journalists are coming out of college, the business is still a big boy's club. I have been blatantly sexually harassed, passed over for recognitions and generally overlooked for years because of my gender.

[the4thpip]

My boyfriend was.
The owner of a travel agency in the South (Alabama, IIRC) told him that (a) he would not send his customers to the location my boyfriend was selling because there were too many niggers there, and (b) he did not like having niggers in his shop.
This was about 6 years ago. Wasn't the only time.

[blackcanary_416]

No I haven't but I have seen people become victims of it. For instance I don't know if anybody has heard but where I live there was an Afican American boy who was killed during a party by a bunch of white guys and the jury found the one guy not guilty and dismissed charges of the other guys that were involved. There was a little memorial people had of pictures and candles of him and then it said a month ago or something like that some one destroyed the memorial. Thats sad. I feel sorry for the family and him he was a graduate and had his whole life ahead of him.

[sjone1]

I live in the Detroit area...and I was called "cracker" a couple months ago. I was entering an office building and in my haste I bumped into a black guy who was exiting...I said "excuse me" and went on inside...I didn't hear it, but my wife heard the guy say, "excuse ME, cracker". My best friend, who has just about the darkest skin I've ever seen, thinks that's a funny story.

[roguespirit]

Ha. I got 3010 stories man

wouldn't even know where to start.

O yea there was the year I was stopped by the police about 40 times

[WhiteRose]

Racism...not so much. Then again I'm caucasian in a predominently caucasian community.
Sexism on the other hand, oh my yes. Much like Jade's story, only it was highschool and I was the only female in an Industry Skills (woodwork, metalwork, precision drawing) class of 30. I can't even count the number of times one of the more idiotic of the class would come up to me with a smirk on his face and say 'Would the little lady like some help with the big scary machines?'
Moral of this story: don't patronise me when I have a hammer on hand.

Funnily enough, I topped that class.

You can't escape it anywhere. As long as there are people there'll be closed-minded bigots to undermine minorities.

[Cam63]

My sympathy to those who've been subjected to the stupidity that racsism and sexism is. I'm glad Yogo found most of us white Aussies can be a decent bunch, despite the work of hate filled wankers.

As for me, because I'm usually the only male in a female dominated job ( nursing ), I occasionally get sexism at work.

[roguespirit]

My sympathy to those who've been subjected to the stupidity that racsism and sexism is. I'm glad Yogo found most of us white Aussies can be a decent bunch, despite the work of hate filled wankers.

As for me, because I'm usually the only male in a female dominated job ( nursing ), I occasionally get sexism at work.

well stop wearing a skirt to work

[Cam63]

I prefer culottes !

[comic_lover]

...a victim of racism or sexism?

GailYes,racism.I was turned down for a job when I was better qualified for it than the gentleman that eventually got it.Why did he get it ? Because he was an African American,and the business had to hire an African American due to a quota.That's just wrong.That's why I'll never believe in " Affirmative Action ". It's nothing but a policy based on racism.I don't care who you are or what you look like..an applicant should be hired on his/her ability instead of what he/she looks like.How insulting. :mad: Who cares what you look like ? People are people,and should be judged on their skill,not their race when going for a job.

[Typo Lad]

Yup.

Lesse... been spit on, had people throw pennies at me... had a guy slow his car down behind me and go "A-JEW" like he was sneezing...

Oh, and there was a job that I had in the bag until the home office decided that the position wasn't available. Mind you, this was after the head of the satalite office said the job was basically mine and he just neded to check about the whole "shabbos thing".

[Aggie]

Yes,racism.I was turned down for a job when I was better qualified for it than the gentleman that eventually got it.Why did he get it ? Because he was an African American,and the business had to hire an African American due to a quota.That's just wrong.That's why I'll never believe in " Affirmative Action ". It's nothing but a policy based on racism.I don't care who you are or what you look like..an applicant should be hired on his/her ability instead of what he/she looks like.How insulting. :mad: Who cares what you look like ? People are people,and should be judged on their skill,not their race when going for a job.


not to down play what happened to you dude, because it was totally wrong...but at the same time to say that affirmative action is a policy based on racism is not entirely accurate considering that white women represent a large chunk of those who benefit from the policy...personally i think it's a piss poor resolution for rectifying unfair hiring practices...but so far it's the only thing that exist right now to keep the playing field a little more leveled...and ask yourself this...for every white guy that is turned down for a less quailified minority applicant...how many minority applicants get turned down after they walk into an interview??...and many companies, corporations, etc., resent the policy and do what they can to undermine the merit of it...so telling a white guy he's not getting a job because of a quota...well i guess you can draw your own conclusion...and you're right people should be judge on the merit of their ability, but they aren't and that's the cold hard truth...a truth we have to live w/ every single day...as far as the question...being both black and a female...i'd say yes, i've experienced both, but i've never been victimized by either...though i haven't experienced overt racism unless i count the time some white guy called me a "spic"...but the joke was one him, but he got the tongue lashing he deserved anyway...but being a certain age...i experienced the more subtle things like being followed in shops, or just being ignored by sales people, or the look of suprise on the faces of people when i walk into a job interview...stuff like that...and sexism i guess that comes w/ the territory...you expected be a certain way, look a certain way and want certain things and do specific things and not do others...so yeah...

[TheLyle]

One bitterfunny anecdote from my boyfriend... many years back he was in the Boston area with his ex visiting the ex's family. One of the ex's siblings was trying to get him to move back to the area by trying to talk him into persuing a job opportunity he knew. He tried to cap the appeal by including my bf into the opportunity, "There's a Chinese restaurant that opened nearby, he could probably find a job there."

Adding to the insult, my bf is more educated than his ex, so there really wasn't anything behind that comment other than stupidity.

He laughs about it now, though.

My white co-worker, who is married to an Asian, also tells funny stories about going out to dinner with her in-laws and being given a fork when the rest of the table gets chop sticks.

[aeastwic]

In high school I dated a black girl and lost someone who I thought was my friend because he was a bigoted jackass.

When I was in high school my best friend was a black girl and a lot of people thought we were dating, but we were just good friends.

I was greatly impressed when my Grandmother found out that we were not dating that she wished we were, because she thought so highly of her. My Grandmother was brought up where she was taught that black people (and other races) were inferior and should not be associated with. She rejected that crapola and I have always been proud of that (She was great in other ways too!).

Probably for most of her life, she was exposed to people who were racist and she saw through all that. The funny thing is, that she always referred to black people as "coloured" and that would probably get her in trouble. If she was still alive, though, she would be scolding me for not being with her because she truly was special.