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Ouzo Man
06-02-2005, 04:37 PM
Anyone have any "stupidest-things-done-in-front-of-an-audience" story pertinent to the music board? I can include belly flopping my Line6 Spider in the middle of the first set at a gig on June 1.

The guys I play with say they never saw someone who doesn't drink wipe out like this on stage before. Normally - so they say - one or more forty-dogs have to come into play. But in the middle of a number, I managed to cause my guitar amplifier to fall three feet and land face-first on the ground (don't cry, it somehow came out unscathed).

Combine a guitar amplifier with a flimsy folding chair (to elevate it so that the cone of sound could hit somewhere near my ear) and a short cord (eight or twelve feet don't amount to so much in the real world). One step too many away from this precarious setup causes the cord to pull taut - and, if the jacks are snug, exert just enough pull, and the amp overbalances, and the ballet begins.

On its way down, it managed to bounce off my guitar, producing a set of effects. One, it messed up the amp settings. Two, it messed up my guitar settings (just by turning my tone pots on the way down). And three, it did something creative but not pleasant with my tuning. For the rest of the set I was fussing with hardware trying to get things marginally back to right, the same way you might try to go back to bed after a car crashes through your bedroom wall. Assuming I sounded decent at all prior to this debacle, I was a study in tin-ear tone-deaf affronts to the audience through the end of the set.

The best part, though, is I think one of my friends in the audience had a camera to catch this Buster Keaton stunt man act. I'd be annoyed at the pictures when I start seeing them except I come from a culture of turning stupid-stunts-in-public into a pretext for bragging (though I still won't rate compared to alcohol-fueled mayhem).

Punchy
06-02-2005, 04:47 PM
Funny story.

I wore women's make-up and sang "P.Y.T." at a Halloween gig once in college. And I did it by choice even.

Sanagi
06-02-2005, 04:49 PM
Never anything worse than losing a stick and having to fumble for it. Or playing a horribly wrong note and trying to pretend it was on purpose.

Shellhead
06-03-2005, 09:42 AM
To promote their first album, Living Colour opened for the Rolling Stones during their Steel Wheels tour, even though most of the Stones fans were close-minded ignorant dinosaurs. During their big hit, Cult of Personality, Corey Glover was doing that extreme headbanging and spinning around thing, just like in the video. He spun perilously close to the front of the stage and, in the flashing lights of their stage show, seemingly vanished, despite the big screen monitors postioned so that everybody could see him pretty clearly. We were like, "whoa, that was so cool, how did he do that."

Shortly, Corey clambered back up on stage from the orchestra pit area, and got back to the microphone. From the big screen monitors, everybody could see this big bruise on his forehead. He fell off the stage!

Core
06-04-2005, 12:23 AM
March 17, 2000--I was playing a dive in Oklahoma on a two tier stage. There was one average sized stair step between the two sides of the stage. During a cover of a Black Crowes song, I hopped down that one measly stinking step only to have my knee buckle underneath me.

Tore my ACL. Did some considerable bone damage in the joint area.

Finished the fucking song though.

Ouzo Man
06-04-2005, 02:31 PM
You're a trooper, Core. Even though the closest things a musician gets to a purple heart is someone pinning a beer can to a sweat-soaked "Ernie Ball Salutes the Mullet" tee shirt.

That's another angle I hadn't really thought of, injuries. I did get an interesting one during a practice when I was really young and we were screwing around. Some tard I was playing with started playing his guitar with his mouth and it seemed, in context, appropriate to accompany him by playing a bass guitar with my forehead.

Thing is, though, foreheads can be pretty thin, skin-wise, and Rotosound Roundwound strings can be mighty harsh on paper-thin skin. I thought, for a moment, that I was sweating in a well-air-conditioned room, but it was just blood pouring down my forehead from a cut the low E had gouged over my brows. I bet you can imagine the sound I made playing that way: "DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB...."

March 17, 2000--I was playing a dive in Oklahoma on a two tier stage. There was one average sized stair step between the two sides of the stage. During a cover of a Black Crowes song, I hopped down that one measly stinking step only to have my knee buckle underneath me.

Tore my ACL. Did some considerable bone damage in the joint area.

Finished the fucking song though.