Weird News Roundup.

[Typo Lad]

1010wins has a lot of stories that are making me go "hmm?"

Die You Bastard! Oops... Wrong Car, Sorry Ma'am. Ma'am? (http://1010wins.com/topstories/local_story_137170431.html)

So this guy shoots a woman who's driving her son't car. I wonder if the defense is going to say "Hey, it was an accident! he meant to kill someone else."

Megan's law Township Makes "No Pedophile" law (http://1010wins.com/topstories/local_story_138065838.html)

Of course, this only works for the convicted ones, and not the ones who haven't been caught. I'm waiting for the ACLU to start screaming about this.

Hanoi Jane Flick Banned from KY Theaters. (http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/B/BANNED_FILM?SITE=1010WINS&SECTION=ENTERTAINMENT&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT)

Good for them! I support their right to free speech.

Oh, the irony...

Bud Employee Fired for Drinking Coors. (http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/W/WRONG_BEER?SITE=1010WINS&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT)

Not on company time though, so I don't think that's valid.

Fun thing; One of my brother's is employed at an engeneering firm located at an Anheiser-Busch plant. Fun place tow rok - they used to have beer in the commisary.

Garage Doors May Only Be Opened At Set Times - HUH? (http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/I/ILLEGAL_GARAGE_DOORS?SITE=1010WINS&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT)

I know what a house in Germantown goes for. Brother, if I'm paying that much for a house, you can take your ordinances and stick 'em.

Fractured Penis Thrown Out of Court (http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/S/SEX_INJURY_LAWSUIT?SITE=1010WINS&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT)

C'mon, tell me that isn't the best headline EVER.

Seriously though, how obsessed with your wang do you have to be to take this to trial THREE times, lose, and then keep appealing?

Porn Class at College (http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/P/PORNOGRAPHY_COURSE?SITE=1010WINS&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT)

I'm sorry, but anyone who hasn't learned about this by the time they're in college is going to be at a real disadvantage in this class. I herby offer to tutor.

Some idiot objects to a John316 plate (http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/C/CHRISTIAN_VANITY_PLATE?SITE=1010WINS&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT)

DMV says 'Get a life, loser".

Film at 11.

Anyone else catch any good headlines today?

[DarkBlade]

Actually that seems to be a thing for big brand companies... an employee at Coca-Cola was fired for having Taco Bell wrappers in his car. (Taco Bell uses Pepsi Co drinks.) I think it MIGHT be one of those fine print things they sign when they get hired.

[Slam_Bradley]

Actually that seems to be a thing for big brand companies... an employee at Coca-Cola was fired for having Taco Bell wrappers in his car. (Taco Bell uses Pepsi Co drinks.) I think it MIGHT be one of those fine print things they sign when they get hired.


Most places you don't sign anything when you get hired. You are hired "at will" and unless you're fired for something that is contrary to the public good (age, sex, race) you can be released for any reason.

[Brian Cronin]

Good man.

You're part of the establishment now.

-Brian

[Sanagi]

Megan's law Township Makes "No Pedophile" law (http://1010wins.com/topstories/local_story_138065838.html)
It's probably foolish of me to even appear to take this side on this issue, but it really annoys me when people use the word "pedophile" to mean "child molestor" because that's not what it means, any more than "heterosexual" means "molestor of the opposite sex."

[Ben Morgan]

http://news.aol.com/story/_a/snake-eats-family-dog-as-kids-watch/20080227092709990001


BRISBANE, Australia (Feb. 27) - A 16-foot python stalked a family dog for days before swallowing the pet whole in front of horrified children in the Australian tropics, animal experts said Wednesday.

A 16-foot python swallows a pet terrier-Chihuahua mix near Kuranda, Australia, Monday. A boy and girl, ages 5 and 7, watched in horror after coming upon the python when the family dog was already half-eaten.
The boy and girl, ages 5 and 7, watched as the scrub python devoured their silky terrier-Chihuahua crossbreed Monday at their home near Kuranda in Queensland state.

Stuart Douglas, owner of the Australian Venom Zoo in Kuranda, said scrub pythons typically eat wild animals such as wallabies, a smaller relative of the kangaroo, but sometimes turn to pets in urban areas.

"It actively stalked the dog for a number of days," Douglas said.

"The family that owned the dog had actually seen it in the dog's bed, which was a sign it was out to get it," he added.

"They should have called me then, but (the snake) got away and three or four days later, I was called and went around and removed it" after the dog had been killed, Douglas said.

By the time Douglas arrived, all that could be seen of the dog was its hind legs and tail.

The zoo manager, Todd Rose, said pythons squeeze their prey to death before swallowing it whole. The 5-year-old dog would have been suffocated within minutes.

"The lady who was there threw some plastic chairs at the snake, but you've got to remember that this is about 110 pounds of aggressive muscle," Rose said.

Removing the half-swallowed dog could have harmed or even killed the python, Rose said, because dogs have sharp teeth and claws that could do the snake internal damage if it were wrenched out.

The snake was still digesting the dog at the zoo Wednesday. It will soon be relocated to the bush, Douglas said.

This is just sick. I wonder what T-Pup thinks of this

[mattx110]

Did you really post all that for a "relocated to the bush" joke?

[DWEarhart]

Animals rule.

[BYC]

Once again survival of the fittest!

[Chris N]

Don't we have a thread for these stories now?

[Pól Rua]

Christ, Silky Terrier/Chihuahua?
That's like, the yappiest thing EVER!

Seriously, though... you live Here...
http://www.beyondthesunset.us/Pictures/Cr6/CairnsKuranda%20train%205.jpg
...and you think, "Oh I know, a fucking yapping rat! That'll be just the thing this place REALLY needs!"

[Spike-X]

...their silky terrier-Chihuahua crossbreed...

Oh, so it wasn't a real dog then?

[Sean Walsh]

A 16-foot python stalked a family dog for days before swallowing the pet whole in front of horrified children in the Australian tropics, animal experts said Wednesday.

Now y'see...........if you start an article like this, Brisbane AUS, I just HAVE to laugh out loud and then feel awful later....

[jessecuster3]

Newborn Indian girl falls through toilet onto rail track (http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hG5aZ-hM9zcKoZr9UVHmKUhhXltQD8V3EQN00)

[Shellhead]

http://news.aol.com/story/_a/snake-eats-family-dog-as-kids-watch/20080227092709990001


This is just sick. I wonder what T-Pup thinks of this

Getting a family pet is a great way to teach children about death. Most pets have a shorter natural lifespan than humans, so they are likely to die before the kids grow up. And it's not unusual for them to die of less natural causes, like getting hit by a car while crossing the street.

[Loren]

Fractured Penis Thrown Out of Court (http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/S/SEX_INJURY_LAWSUIT?SITE=1010WINS&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT)

C'mon, tell me that isn't the best headline EVER.

Best headline of 2005, at least. Best headline of 2008 so far goes to:

Police: Crack Found in Man's Buttocks (http://www.myfoxdc.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail?contentId=5657259&version=3&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1)

[Athena Bast]

Actually that seems to be a thing for big brand companies... an employee at Coca-Cola was fired for having Taco Bell wrappers in his car. (Taco Bell uses Pepsi Co drinks.) I think it MIGHT be one of those fine print things they sign when they get hired.

My mother works for one grocery chain but sometimes she needs to go to another grocery chain to pick up some food and other items her chain doesn't carry. She needs to take someone else with her because (according to her store) she is allowed to walk around and pick things off the shelves and put them in the cart, and even walking the cart to the check out she is not allowed to pay for them so she needs to give the money over to a family member or friend to buy them or risk losing her job.

[Ben Morgan]

Getting a family pet is a great way to teach children about death. Most pets have a shorter natural lifespan than humans, so they are likely to die before the kids grow up. And it's not unusual for them to die of less natural causes, like getting hit by a car while crossing the street.
Unless they have some kind of super pet, then they live forever

[Grazzt]

Morons with guns in action. (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080301/ap_on_fe_st/odd_inflicted_sick_leave;_ylt=AvD_3IZ1uFNanZyUCzIl rNUuQE4F)

[howyadoin]

This is why we need the death penalty.

[Ben Morgan]

This is why we need the death penalty.

And this (http://news.aol.com/story/_a/moms-allegedly-brawl-at-chuck-e-cheese/n20080303172409990012)

.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

And this (http://news.aol.com/story/_a/moms-allegedly-brawl-at-chuck-e-cheese/n20080303172409990012)

.

Nah, that's why we need the right to sterilize dumb people.

They are the one's who breed like rabbits.

[Ben Morgan]

http://news.aol.com/story/_a/pair-tie-knot-at-home-improvement-store/n20080304164809990022

[Puma]

Police find woman's body on ice in Newport Beach hotel room

By GILLIAN FLACCUS, Associated Press Writer

Friday, March 7, 2008

(03-07) 17:55 PST Newport Beach, Calif. (AP) --

The body of a woman packed in dry ice was found in a hotel room when police served a search warrant in a cocaine investigation, authorities said Friday.

Detectives found the fully clothed and "well preserved" body late Thursday after arresting a guest at the Fairmont Newport Beach for investigation of selling and possessing cocaine on the hotel grounds, police Sgt. Evan Sailor said.

When they searched Stephen David Royds' room, they found the body inside a large Rubbermaid container filled with dry ice, he said.

"It's definitely weird," Sailor said.

An autopsy of the body was "inconclusive" because there was no sign of trauma and her death did not appear to be a homicide, said Dan Akin, an Orange County supervising deputy coroner.

Investigators were trying to identify the woman, who appeared to be in her 20s or 30s, as they awaited results from a blood toxicology test. It wasn't clear how long she had been dead, Sailor said.

Police were also investigating whether Royds was involved in the death. He was held on $30,000 bail.

Royds, 46, told police he was a resident of Newport Beach, but there was no telephone listing for him.

A receptionist at the hotel, a posh complex surrounded by palms, referred inquiries to company spokeswoman Michelle Heston.

"We are working alongside and assisting the Newport Beach police in this investigation but right now it's in their hands ... this is a police matter," Heston said in a telephone interview.

___

Associated Press Writer Daisy Nguyen in Los Angeles contributed to this report.

[jessecuster3]

More than 100 family members and friends attended Ari Squire's memorial banquet last week and signed his online condolence book, mourning a man they said was kind, selfless and gentle.

But the charred remains of the man found under Squire's truck, ostensibly killed when a jack slipped, weren't Squire's.

He was alive and well, and his wife, police say, knew it. The congenial man, "the most kind, spirited and giving person ever," as one friend wrote, allegedly was involved in a bizarre tale of desperation, deception and murder—all in an effort to collect a $5 million life insurance policy and start over with a new identity.

Authorities said Thursday that the Lake Barrington resident killed a 20-year-old Arlington Heights man, used the body to stage his own death then committed suicide Sunday in a suburban St. Louis motel room as police came close to unraveling the twisted plot.

"We have one murderer who was too much of a coward to face the music," said Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran at a news conference. "He put a bullet through his head."


Rest is here. (http://redeye.chicagotribune.com/chi-car-jack-slipped-murder-web,0,7267780.story)

[Aaron Kashtan]

Puma's story gives a new meaning to "women in refrigerators."

[Ben Morgan]

http://news.aol.com/story/_a/airport-security-spoils-canadian-mans/n20080307103209990036?cid=936


PRINCE GEORGE, British Columbia (AP) - A Canadian man thought he had come up with the perfect romantic setting to propose to his high school sweetheart until airport security got involved.

Aaron Tkachuk, 24, had intended to propose to girlfriend Jennifer Rubadeau during a Caribbean cruise this week, but instead had to pop the question at a security screening station at the Prince George, British Columbia, airport.

An airport screener checking Tkachuk's carry-on luggage spotted a small box in the toe of a sock - insisted on having a closer look and pulled out a white gold, diamond and ruby ring.

Tkachuk decided to propose on the spot, and his dazed 24-year-old girlfriend said yes, as fellow travelers and security staff looked on and applauded.

[parrish]

I would imagine this will turn out to be a joke, but the video is kind of creepy.

Creepy Gnome in South America (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article902014.ece)

[EZMOHR]

I would imagine this will turn out to be a joke, but the video is kind of creepy.

Creepy Gnome in South America (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article902014.ece)

DUDE......It's like that movie Signs....with a Gnome.

[parrish]

DUDE......It's like that movie Signs....with a Gnome.

Yeah, and the video in that was based on the Patterson bigfoot video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1G2Vnk_4I)...

...that turned out to be fake.

[Grazzt]

Yeah, and the video in that was based on the Patterson bigfoot video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1G2Vnk_4I)...

...that turned out to be fake.

While I agree that the gnome video is probably a fake, where's the similarity to the Patterson Bigfoot video?

[mattx110]

http://news.aol.com/story/_a/airport-security-spoils-canadian-mans/n20080307103209990036?cid=936
That's actually sweet and a much better way to propose. I needs me a woman. Any takers?

[parrish]

While I agree that the gnome video is probably a fake, where's the similarity to the Patterson Bigfoot video?

I was talking about the scene in "Signs" where the alien was caught on camera. He kind of turns and looks right at it, like the bigfoot video.

[StoneGold]

So it turns out Mary Ann was smoking weed.


http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080312/ap_on_en_tv/people_dawn_wells;_ylt=Avh9J0hekNYe0.Dh2drW7rOs0NU E

[Mike Pothier]

I would imagine this will turn out to be a joke, but the video is kind of creepy.

Creepy Gnome in South America (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article902014.ece)

He's out to steal your underpants!

[Ben Morgan]

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jpMo5pdCnadyrY2ypTwfBfsPFxQwD8VC22HO0

[aggiepm]

Just saw this today.....

Woman stuck on boyfriend's toilet after 2 years (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2008/03/12/2008-03-12_sheriff_woman_stuck_on_boyfriends_toilet.html)

Seriously? Why didn't he call authorities earlier would you wait 2 years of your girlfriend refusing to leave the toilet?

[Jared H.]

Just saw this today.....

Woman stuck on boyfriend's toilet after 2 years (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2008/03/12/2008-03-12_sheriff_woman_stuck_on_boyfriends_toilet.html)

Seriously? Why didn't he call authorities earlier would you wait 2 years of your girlfriend refusing to leave the toilet?

No way.

No %^&$ing way.

[Ben Morgan]

Just saw this today.....

Woman stuck on boyfriend's toilet after 2 years (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2008/03/12/2008-03-12_sheriff_woman_stuck_on_boyfriends_toilet.html)

Seriously? Why didn't he call authorities earlier would you wait 2 years of your girlfriend refusing to leave the toilet?I just posted that in the post above yours...

[Typo Lad]

Yeah, but he gave info instead of just a blind link.

[aggiepm]

Yeah, but he gave info instead of just a blind link.

ya what he said :p

[Michael P]

Macedonia has a very fucked up justice system: (http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/03/14/2189099.htm)


Bear convicted of stealing honey

Posted 7 hours 28 minutes ago

A Macedonian court convicted a bear of theft and damage for stealing honey from a beekeeper who fought off the attacks with thumping "turbo-folk" music.

"I tried to distract the bear with lights and music because I heard bears are afraid of that," Zoran Kiseloski told top-selling daily Dnevnik after the year-long case of the bear vs the beekeeper ended in the beekeeper's favour.

"So I bought a generator, lit up the area and put on songs of (Serbian 'turbo-folk' star) Ceca."

The bear stayed away for a few weeks, but came back when the generator ran out of power and the music fell silent, Mr Kiseloski said, adding, "it attacked the beehives again."

A court in the city of Bitola found the bear guilty, and since it had no owner and belonged to a protected species, ordered the state to pay the 140,000 denars ($3,550) damage it caused to the hives.

There was no information on the whereabouts of the bear.

[Typo Lad]

This just in: A search is on for the bear, who has been evading capture for many days. Authorities state he is, in fact, smarter than the average bear.

[Paradox]

The very idea of Serbian turbo-folk scares the hell out of ME! :eek:

[Michael P]

Woman stabs boyfriend to death over Springsteen (http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/03/13/australia.springsteen/index.html):


An Australian woman pleaded guilty Thursday to fatally stabbing her boyfriend because he objected to her listening to Bruce Springsteen's music.

The national news agency, Australian Associated Press, reported that the Supreme Court in the city of Brisbane sentenced Karen Lee Cooper to eight years in prison.

I think I've found Spike-X's next ex-wife.

[Spike-X]

Heh.

Saw that posted on a fan site last week. Sounds like justifiable homicide to me!

[Mike Pothier]

I would imagine this will turn out to be a joke, but the video is kind of creepy.

Creepy Gnome in South America (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article902014.ece)

Kevin and Bean have gotten the gnome's side of the story.

[Gary_B]

This Fat Bandit (http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/351047) story reads like satire.


Although victims initially suspected that a man who robbed three banks within 90 minutes yesterday was wearing a fat suit as a disguise, police today say the man really is a fat guy.

"We don't believe it's a fat suit," Det. Russ Rairey told thestar.com today.

"We just think he is fat."

[jessecuster3]

How about this genius?


Robbers don't usually leave phone numbers behind, but on Monday, at a Northwest Side muffler shop, a man asked employees to give him a call when their boss came back to open a safe, an employee said Tuesday.

When the 18-year-old returned a few hours later, plainclothes Chicago police officers shot and wounded him the leg, police said. Ruben Zarate of the 5100 of West Schubert Avenue was charged Tuesday with attempted armed robbery and aggravated assault of a police officer, the Cook County state's attorney's office said.

The incident started about 8 a.m., when the masked man, armed with a revolver, came in to Velasquez Mufflers For Less at 2600 N. Laramie Ave. and began demanding money, said Jose Sida, 37, a mechanic.

Employees told him they had little money and couldn't open the safe, so the man left two phone numbers for them to call when the owner returned with the combination, Sida said.

"He said, 'You guys better call me because otherwise I'm going to come back to shoot you,'" Sida said.

Instead, an employee called Chicago police.

Officers dressed in plainclothes came to the shop and told employees to call the man, Sida said. The man returned about noon, wearing the same mask and black clothing and officers told the employees to get to the back of the shop, Sida said.

A police source said the teen pulled a gun from his hooded sweat shirt and at least one officer opened fire. Zarate's injury was not thought to be life-threatening, the source said.

Mark Payne, a spokesman for the Independent Police Review Authority, said the man was treated at Advocate Illinois Masonic Medical Center for a gunshot wound. He said his agency was investigating the police-involved shooting but said that the inquiry would take six months to complete and that he could not release any details.

Sida said the teen's idea to leave his phone numbers was "stupid," but said employees were just following police instructions to call him back.

Employees now are worried the man's friends may return to get back at the shop employees for calling police.

"We followed police instructions, otherwise he would have come back for sure [to rob us]," Sida said.

[Grazzt]

I got a good one from the "life imitates video games" department:

Garry Kasparov disrupted by flying penis. (http://www.smh.com.au/news/web/russian-pranksters-use-virtual-shock-tactic/2008/05/20/1211182789899.html)

Don't worry, it's worksafe. They pixellate the penis. I've seen an uncensored movie version, but I think that violates forum rules to link to.

Best part: Garry said that the tactic was "below the belt". Nice that he didn't lose his sense of humour.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

What a goddamn tragedy...


Baby's accidental phone call lands dad in jail ([URL="http://www.smh.com.au/news/specials/unusual-tales/babys-accidental-phone-call-lands-dad-in-jail/2009/01/22/1232471435946.html)

A baby playing with a telephone inadvertently called police to his house in westernmost Canada and to his "very surprised" father's marijuana-growing operation inside, police say.

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police responded to an emergency 911 call in which the caller hung up without saying a word, Constable Janelle Canning told AFP on Wednesday.

The officers entered the White Rock residence, after knocks at the door went unanswered, she said.

"The father was very surprised to see us and insisted he hadn't called police," she said.

"The officers then observed his 11-month-old child playing with a cordless phone, pressing buttons randomly."

The mystery caller was identified, she said. "It appears the baby called us."

During a routine search of the house, the officers also uncovered 500 marijuana plants in two locked rooms on the main floor.

The 29-year-old father was arrested and faces charges of production of a controlled substance and mischief. He is to appear in court in April.

The baby boy was removed from the home by the Ministry of Children and Family, and was later released into his mother's custody.

Not even a year old, and already making Dad take a hard look at his life...

[DeadLast Johnny]

Happened awhile ago, but I just stumbled on it from another site. Yikes, and uh.. gross?



Obese Woman Dies Stuck To Couch August 2004
A dramatic rescue ended tragically in Florida Wednesday when a woman died after being stuck to her couch. Rescuers responded to a call at the Martin County home of a woman who was having trouble breathing. The difficulty arose when emergency workers failed, after six hours, to dislodge 480-pound Gayle Laverne Grinds, from the couch in her home. Workers said the home was filthy, and Grinds, 40, was too large to get up from the couch, even to use the bathroom. Authorities estimate that she had been on the couch anywhere from two to six years. Her skin had reportedly grafted to the fabric in the couch. Rescuers removed a sliding glass door in order to lift the couch, with the woman on it, and load it onto a trailer behind a pickup truck. She died at Martin Memorial Hospital South, Orlando, still attached to the couch. A preliminary autopsy on the the four-foot, ten-inch woman lists the cause of death as "morbid obesity."


EDIT: Link I had, is now dead. Sorry.

[Michael P]

What a goddamn tragedy...


Not even a year old, and already making Dad take a hard look at his life...

This should be a Trojan ad.