Is OK for the Kanako seeing baby sister be born?

[Snow Sabre]

Hello! It is long time we are not talking. I am sorry. This is because I am so busy right now. I am busy because need to take care of the Kanako and be ready for have the baby in the July. Also I am try to work the busness of the photographic studio in the Japan.

I am have the new baby in July. I will have the baby in the home. Kanako she is very much want to see when the little sister is born. I am not know if should or not. She is see the self be born on the video before and she is not scare. But the real and the video is maybe not the same. Also maybe this time the birth is be differant. Also I am have worry about enviromant not be clean. What is better way?

[Michael P]

If you're planning on having Kid #2 in the hospital, I don't think they'll let her in the delivery room, so that takes the problem away right there.

[Winslow]

It depends on your child.

She may not understand the screams or blood, and it could be traumatic for her. Most likely she would mis-interpret what's going on.

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer - but I would do what's most comfortable for YOU as the mother. If you're going to be worried or distracted by your daughter's response, then it doesn't seem like a very good idea.

But bonding time right after birth is a very very precious moment. So I would have her close by so she can come in the room after her sibling is born.

Both of our children were born in birthing centers with midwives. We wouldn't do it any other way.

[Typo Lad]

I wouldn't, myself. But then, that's just me.

[west3man]

wow. I'm blown away by this thread topic, but can't seem to express why, exactly. I guess I'll just say, "I like it."

I like it. :p

You've given us great information with which to tackle this dilemma.

For me, it all boils down to the fact that she's seen it before. So, unless she REALLY wants to be there, I'd suggest allowing her to see it, again... on video.

If she REALLY wants to be there, considering what she's seen already, I'd say give it a shot. However, I'd STRONGLY suggest having someone else there who you (and Kanako) trust and who'll be prepared to take her out of the room if she should have a hard time.

Preparation'll see you all through this, I think.

[west3man]

If you're planning on having Kid #2 in the hospital, I don't think they'll let her in the delivery room, so that takes the problem away right there.
I think she said she's having the baby at home.

[west3man]

It depends on your child.

She may not understand the screams or blood, and it could be traumatic for her. Most likely she would mis-interpret what's going on.

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer - but I would do what's most comfortable for YOU as the mother. If you're going to be worried or distracted by your daughter's response, then it doesn't seem like a very good idea.

But bonding time right after birth is a very very precious moment. So I would have her close by so she can come in the room after her sibling is born.

Both of our children were born in birthing centers with midwives. We wouldn't do it any other way.

If Kanako's seen and heard all of this before *and understood what she saw,* I think the potential for it to be traumatic is significantly less than it would've been for me at her age.

I'd have been laid out.

[DarkBlade]

How old is Kanako? I forgot. :(

[Buried Alien]

How old is Kanako? I forgot. :(

She's five, DB. :)

I'll be there to take Kanako out for ice cream and a movie if things get too intense for her. I think she'll be fine, however.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Valmore]

Tough call.

Really, I'd say, "How comfortable are you with the idea of letting her watch her new sibling being born?" Since, from what I can tell, Kanako seems to have no problem with the idea.

But if you really have any sort of serious discomfort about it, I'd say you should probably say no. Since it really is about you.

[Winslow]

She's five, DB. :)

I'll be there to take Kanako out for ice cream and a movie if things get too intense for her. I think she'll be fine, however.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)
You can't fool us.

We know it's the other way around - that Kanako will take Buried Alien out for ice cream if things get too intense for HIM! ;) :D

[Snow Sabre]

Hello!

I am thank you to every one for the advise. It is very helpful for me.

I think will be OK the Kanako is see her little sister is born. I am not want her have the feel she is not being in part of the family. I am only have one thing still worry is the enviromant be safe for her. Ofcours she is not be touch the thing but I am afraid will have many the germ in the room because of the birth. If this is OK then I will be sure for let her see the little sister be born.

[Atomic Mongoose]

Shiiiiiiiiit, I'm 17 years older than this Kanako kid and chances are she'd handle witnessing child birth a lot better than I would. I'd need to be taken out for ice cream, a bottle of Scotch, a whole pack of cigarettes, and toss in some of Snow Sabre's pain meds! :eek:

Good luck with whatever decision you make, I'm sure you'll make the best one for everybody involved! Congratulations on the new baby, too! :)

[Slam_Bradley]

Snow Sabre...

Nathan was 5 1/2 when Connor was born. We decided that it wasn't appropriate for him to see Mommy in pain, bloody, etc. In retrospect I'm very glad we didn't, because my ex had a bad reaction to the epidural and things were very touchy for a while. I did not need to worry about him at that time.

Nathan was, however, the very first visitor to come to the room after Connor was born. So, he saw the baby first after Pat, the Doctor and nurses, and I. He helped me give Connor his first bath and it was all very important to him.

I just think that there are enough things that can go wrong, and blood, sweat and tears involved that it's probably not the right place for a 5 year old.

[Crinos]

I pretty much agree with the above, but what I'm really here to say is congratulations on the baby SS, I hope she's healthy.

Nothing I like better than babies... especially with BARBECUE SAUCE!!111! (Kidding, just kidding, sorry.) ;)

[Rallura]

Hello!

I am thank you to every one for the advise. It is very helpful for me.

I think will be OK the Kanako is see her little sister is born. I am not want her have the feel she is not being in part of the family. I am only have one thing still worry is the enviromant be safe for her. Ofcours she is not be touch the thing but I am afraid will have many the germ in the room because of the birth. If this is OK then I will be sure for let her see the little sister be born.

I am sure the germs won't be a problem. If you are very worried speak to your doctor.

[Sharpshooter]

Shiiiiiiiiit, I'm 17 years older than this Kanako kid and chances are she'd handle witnessing child birth a lot better than I would. I'd need to be taken out for ice cream, a bottle of Scotch, a whole pack of cigarettes, and toss in some of Snow Sabre's pain meds! :eek:

Good luck with whatever decision you make, I'm sure you'll make the best one for everybody involved! Congratulations on the new baby, too! :)

Thanks! You can have all the meds because Koko didn't use them during Kanako's birth and she isn't planning on using them for Hanako's birth. The girl is tougher than she looks. :)

[Hawk]

I would not want to watch any of my siblings being born. That's what I would call "traumatic"

Even if I knew what was going on (and at 5, I would have), I'd still not want to see that.

I say no. NONONONONONONONO

[Paradox]

Um, not to pry, but there WILL be a midwife or something at this birth, won't there? Just curious.

[Buried Alien]

Um, not to pry, but there WILL be a midwife or something at this birth, won't there? Just curious.

Not to worry, Dox. Sharpshooter's (Koko's husband) mom is a certified midwife with over thirty years of experience delivering babies. She helped deliver Kanako back in '00 and will be on hand again when Hanako arrives in July. :)

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Loren]

My brother's girlfriend is in nursing school, and taking some maternity courses now, and she shared this story last week:

One mother at the hospital decided to let her other child (who I figure was 3 or so) watch the birth of its little sibling. That evening, the little girl was staying with her dad (who apparently hadn't been present for the birth, for whatever reason). Around bedtime, the girl showed her daddy the two beanie babies tucked into her pants, and said that her babies weren't ready to be born yet.

The next day, the little girl came to her daddy and announced that it was time for her babies to be born. The little girl then went through an elaborate 'birthing' of the toys with her dad assisting, finally declaring that she had 'pooped' out the babies.

I'm inclined to think that children don't need to be in the delivery room. At worst they're a distraction to the doctors, and at best they're going to stand idly by and see their mother in a lot of discomfort. And babies aren't exactly as clean and pretty as they are on TV births, which might shock a little kid. I think it's best just to take the child to observe the new sibling in the maternity ward (or wherever) at an early opportunity.

Loren

[Sharpshooter]

The little girl then went through an elaborate 'birthing' of the toys with her dad assisting, finally declaring that she had 'pooped' out the babies.

Loren

Heh heh. It's interesting that you mention that because that's how Kanako described her own birth when she saw it on video. She said that mommy was pooping her out!

Gotta love how kids break it down so simply. :)

Thanks for everybody's advice! We'll keep all of it in mind when we finally decide how we're gonna play it. Chances are, we won't know for sure until the moment actually comes.

[Paul McEnery]

You know, I wasn't sure about this till I'd read everyone's responses.

And I say, let the kid make the choice.

If you've got someone on hand to take care of Kanako and rush her off for ice cream if she's not so okay with the deal, then she can make her own decision as it all goes along.

I don't think there's any need to believe that Kanako will be as squeamish as a teen-40 year old comic book fan.

[JTLauder]

Personally, I would not be inclined to letting a 5-year-old watch a live birth.
But there are reasons for and against it as we've seen posted.

I found this article that might help:
Should my child attend the birth of his/her new sibling? (http://www.childbirthsolutions.com/articles/pregnancy/childattend/index.php)

I only skimmed the article, but basically, you know the temperament of your child. If he (I'm sorry, is Kanako a boy?) is a sensitive child or gets stressed or scared easily (at any age), the recommendation is to not have him present. And of course, he has to be old enough for him to understand what is going on, which you would have explained to him before the actual delivery. The article also has some ideas on preparing him for the experience if you decide to let him watch.

Found lots of other preparation tips on this page:
Siblings At a Homebirth - A Parents' Guide (http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/swSiblings.html)