Pervilicious How-To and Safety Hints

[JeffreyWKramer]

In the " 'Special' Injuries" thread, Howy noted his bad initial experience with wax play. This suggested that it might be good, in the interest of public service, to start a thread detailing how to do various sorts of pervilicious fun things in a safe manner.

First off, though, kudos to HomerJay for starting the previous thread, and to Howy for sharing his scalding experience.

Wax play refers to the practice of dripping wax onto a person's exposed skin for purposes of intense sensation. Such sensations can enhance erotic sensitivity, and some people find the sensations erotic in and of themselves. Some people find wax play particularly intense if they experience it while blindfolded, or if the sensation of hot wax is alternated with ice or cold water.

Safe wax play depends on three things: The type of wax used, the preparation and technique.

As Howy found out, the type of wax used can be of crucial importance. Any melted wax is going to be hot, but some of it is way darn hot, and not safe for this sort of activity. Things to avoid: beeswax candles, candles advertised as burning a long, long time, any candles with oils or perfumes added, heavily dyed candles, and particularly any with glitter or metallic flakes added to the wax. All of these burn at unusually high temperatures, and are likely to result in injury, not pervilicious fun. Best bets: plain parafin candles. These are usually white. Emergency or utility candles like you get at a hardware store are good, as are Shabbat candles (these candles, made for Jewish worship services, use pure parafin). Plain, white votive candles are also generally a good bet.

(note - for those who find white wax boring - and, admittedly, one can do a lot of cool things with colored wax - you might try making play-safe candles using canning parafin and melting a typical crayon of the desired color with the parafin. One crayon to two or three bricks of parafin seems to work well).

Prep: This refers to two things... gear/space prep and person prep. Gear/space prep means have handy things you are going to need, including a lighter or matches (I recommend a grill lighter), the wax you're using, places to set things and play space. Make sure to have stable places to set lit candles, and to not have extraneous flammables nearby. It's generally a good idea to put down a tarp or shower curtain, perhaps with a sheet or blanket you don't care about over that. Wax splatters, and it can be a bitch to get out of carpet or some fabrics. For that reason, it's probably better that any parties involved who are wearing clothing wear stuft the won't mind possibly getting ruined.

Prep also includes having first aid stuff nearby, including burn cream, cold, damp cloths and ice, in case of accident. Safe play tries to avoid accidents, but also assumes that they could still happen, and emphasizes readiness.

Person prep. Whomever is going to be receiving the wax should have clean skin. A bit of baby oil or similar substance can be good, to help remove the wax later. This is especially wise if the wax is going to be used in areas with hair - unless you want that hair-pulling sensation (most don't). Alternately, you may want to pre-shave areas that are going to receive wax. In general, I don't recommend doing waxing anywhere near the face, but even so, it is probably also wise to put a shower cap or some other sort of cover over the recipient's hair.

Technique. First thing - whomever is going to be putting wax on someone else should try it on him- or herself first. When applying wax on oneself or someone else, the key is to hold the wax a bit a ways from the skin - usually two feet or more is good. That way the wax cools a bit before it hits the skin. Start out testing at about that distance, moving it farther if the wax is too hot when it hits. Wait a few seconds between drips, because sometimes one doesn't feel the heat immediately. It is best to test the wax on a relatively sensitive area, like the inside of the forearm.

After testing the wax on oneself, try a couple test drops on the recipient. Different people have different sensitivities, so you may have to adjust things. When in doubt, go for less heat rather than more. You can always increase heat, but you can't take back a burn already inflicted. Should you cause a burn, stop play and immediately wipe off the burnt area with a cold, wet cloth, removing the wax, then use another cold, wet cloth to cool the area.

Most people do wax play by dripping wax from a burning candle. However, some people who really get into this melt wax (usually canning parafin) in a pot, then drizzle molten wax via a ladle. This can be a very intense sensation, but is really for more experienced play; I recommend starting out with candles.

Hot wax can be applied to breasts, butts, tummies, backs, limbs and genitalia safely. Do not do it anywhere near the eyes. Do not do it on any areas where you have injured skin (open or scabbed-over cuts). For the best result, and for safety purposes, best bet is to start with less sensitive places, moving gradually toward more sensitive ones. Do one drip at a time, to make sure you aren't burning and to get the greatest impact from each drip. Dripping layers of wax can add an interesting sensation, as the area cools, then warms up again, and as layering holds in some heat.

Removal - Wax can be peeled or scraped away. If scraping, the best bet is to use a butter knife or other non-sharp edge. The recipient will find his or her skin is notably more sensitive for awhile (anywhere from a few to maybe 20 minutes).

Anyhow, those are the basics. I'd be glad to say more about the topic, if anyone cares. To those who try it out - happy perviliciousness!

[Nate C.]

Jeffrey said "tummies" :p

[JeffreyWKramer]

Jeffrey said "tummies" :p


Tummies are often quite sensitive, and belly buttons can be very perviliciously fun.

[Typo Lad]

I will never, ever look at Shabbos candles the same way again.

You have tainted my childhood, sir.

[JeffreyWKramer]

I will never, ever look at Shabbos candles the same way again.

You have tainted my childhood, sir.


All in a day's work, good citizen!

[hulahulk]

Jeffrey,

Is this thread limited to candle safety, or can we offer pervilicious safety hints for such things as power tools, trapeze contraptions, and rooms-filled-with-antique-furniture-and-fine-china as well? Cuz the public has the right ta know.:)

[JeffreyWKramer]

Jeffrey,

Is this thread limited to candle safety, or can we offer pervilicious safety hints for such things as power tools, trapeze contraptions, and rooms-filled-with-antique-furniture-and-fine-china as well? Cuz the public has the right ta know.:)


Any and all of the above are certainly eligible, so long as the focus is a) on pervilicious uses of the above (definitely have to be careful with power tools!) and b) the discussion is kept within acceptable CBR content/language.

So, of you have some hints about those topics, pass 'em along for discussion. I just started the thread, it's for everyone.

[Solaris]

If you're working with a gal, always wait till she's ready (as in "worked up") before penetration. Otherwise, you get one pissed off woman, and possibly a doctor bill.

Hmmm. On the pervy side, if you're into collars and leashes of any kind, ALWAYS MAKE SURE THE LEASH IS FASTENED TO THE FRONT OF THE COLLAR. Pulling at one attached to the back can result in injury to the voice box, potential choking, and other hazards.

And, always exercise great care with leashes... not a good thing if you trip and fall, and yank your partner down with you by the neck.

Re: various gags, masks that cover nose and mouth and/or have a "breathing tube", and other limited breathing devices/actions: Read up on this sort of thing *thoroughly*. Have some preset non-verbal signals that the person can communicate a need to be released from whatever and/or to breathe. Keep an eye on the person to make sure they aren't asphyxiating (smothering) and/or unconsious. I'm not into this one AT ALL---I hate the feeling of not being able to breathe---but some folks like it. Be aware that it can be a very dangerous activity, and learn what you need to know and how to monitor it, before attempting.

Wrappings: Some folks are into getting wrapped in saran wrap, latex sheets, etc. Be aware that a person can get overheated during this, and pass out from heat exhaustion. Also, I *think* if you stay wrapped for too long, you can pass out and potentially die from having your pores covered for too long. Same thing may well apply to some body paints. (I'm remembering the girl that died in the making of "Goldfinger"---they left the gold paint on her too long, and her skin couldn't breathe, and she died.) I'm not 100% certain on the dangers involved with some of this, so your best bet is to research and read up on it. IIRC, some of the manufacturers of the latex body paint (and yes this is a special kind of paint---don't use the hardware store variety!) have some cautions on their sites about how to use, and not use, their product. Most latex body paints are designed to lift up from the skin after a few hours, so the skin can breathe, IIRC.

Number one rule for any bondage and/or roleplaying activity: Communicate AHEAD OF TIME about it. Set some agreed upon signals, both verbal and nonverbal, for the person to tell you to ease up or to stop immediately. Often people use colors, like "yellow, orange, red" so as not to get confused by "yes/no" responses. Second rule is do some research ahead of time on the planned activity. If possible, with a lot of the stuff it's a good idea to get some instruction from someone who's got experience. Not saying you can't just try it on your own, but if you *do*, learn as much as you can about it FIRST. Don't just assume that something is simple. And make sure that you and your partner are agreed ahead of time where limits are. If you're interested in this kind of thing, start slow and small. Don't dive into full body tie-ups/specialty rope knotting/excessive restraint poses, etc. Learn as you go, take it slowly, and keep reading/checking for more info on how to, safety, and hazards.

One other thing is that if you or your partner have any kind of history of being abused in any fashion, make sure that you've done some reading up on how that may play into the "play." This is important. Jeffrey actually wrote a very good article on that very subject, which at one point he emailed links for to some of us. There's a difference between creating an enjoyable experience, and triggering a flashback or negative reaction. Again, do your homework, and talk it over with your partner; agree upon signals, and finally, PAY ATTENTION! when you're doing stuff, to nonverbal cues and expressions, as well as verbal ones.

I'm sure Jeffrey can expound more on all the stuff I mentioned, but figured I'd throw those things out there for discussion. :)

Last point is the most important, aside from "KNOW what you're doing," and that is "ALWAYS WORK WITH CONSENT." If there's something you or your partner doesn't want to do, or the feelings change about it during the act, don't do it/stop immediately. Continuing in an attempt to persuade them to change their mind ("Oh c'mon, honey---try it just a little bit longer") can seriously undermine a partner's trust in you. Think about it: if you try to make them continue something they don't want to do, what are you saying about their feelings and right to choose their activities? That you don't care what they want, so long as you get what YOU want. Not good. And people can be especially vulnerable, emotionally and psychologically, during a sex act that they aren't enjoying, are feeling negative pain from, and/or are afraid of---forcing it to continue after they've given a "stop" signal, or after you've seen signs that they're having a bad reaction to it, is a rotten thing to do... and you'll pay for it later in the loss of trust your partner feels toward you.

[HomerJay]

We've all seen pills for erectile disfunction and even "natural male enhancement", but have you seen that pills are now being marketed (on the internet, not by mainstream) that supposedly increase "ejaculatory volume"? I would assume that it really does nothing to help sperm count, so I guess it's really to just make a bigger mess and make the dude feel like a pornstar.

A female friend told me that she actually rather liked it when a guy ejaculated on her and a male college friend of mind told me his girlfriend liked the same thing, so I guess it's not all that uncommon. My male friend mentioned that he would often masturbate without climaxing (giving himself a mild case of blue-balls), so when he did orgasm with his GF, it was a huge one. I have to admit that I actually tried this technique myself once before and sure enough, I never came as hard, as far, or as much.

Of course it's never a good idea make like a pornstar ON your partner unless you know they're absolutely cool with it.

[JeffreyWKramer]

I have to admit that I actually tried this technique myself once before and sure enough, I never came as hard, as far, or as much.


You discovered a basic Tantric principle on your own. Congrats!

[Typo Lad]

Okay, I'll play...

Having intercourse in a pool or large tub seems cool in films, but it's not as simple as "grab and go". A pool's treated water breaks down natural lubricants, and some women are unable to remain lubricated in any water.

If this may be part of your fun, be sure to find a non-water soluable brand of lubricant. I'm sure Jeffrey can recomend a brand?

[howyadoin]

Anyhow, those are the basics. I'd be glad to say more about the topic, if anyone cares. To those who try it out - happy perviliciousness!Wow, that would've really improved the experience. Thanks for the tips.

[Smell]

Wax. Check
Collars. Check
Play not replay. Check

Wow.

Equipment. You have to have the best. Don't even think of buying cheap rubbish.

Can I also add, if your going to use food, clean up quickly, cream goes off so much quicker on sheets!

Dom

a fetish for smells

[Typo Lad]

And use cheap sheets if things are going to get messy!

[JeffreyWKramer]

If this may be part of your fun, be sure to find a non-water soluable brand of lubricant. I'm sure Jeffrey can recomend a brand?
Actually, none of the personal lubricants I would recommend are non-water based; all of them break down/wash off easily in water. As such, I have two other recommendations.

1) Rather than the giver putting on lube, put a more-than-ample amount of lube inside whomever (and wherever) is going to be receiving; that way, what washes off during the out action is replaced on the in action.

2) Try different brands of pre-lubed condoms. Some of those are lubed in such a manner that the lube doesn't wash off easily.

[JeffreyWKramer]

Wow, that would've really improved the experience. Thanks for the tips.


Quite welcome! I'm glad to help.

Now find some willing lass and try out wax again... the right way!

[howyadoin]

Quite welcome! I'm glad to help.

Now find some willing lass and try out wax again... the right way!I dunno, I'm a lot hairier than I was in those days.

[HomerJay]

Having intercourse in a pool or large tub seems cool in films, but it's not as simple as "grab and go". A pool's treated water breaks down natural lubricants, and some women are unable to remain lubricated in any water.


I've run into this as well.
If you're intent on getting your groove on in a water environment (one of my favs), try the shower. You're not completely immersed so things stay nice and "comfortable". A hot tub or jacuzzi works well too as long as the important areas stay above the surface.

[JeffreyWKramer]

Equipment. You have to have the best. Don't even think of buying cheap rubbish.

Generally true, though I think "have to have the best" is going a bit too far. There is some very good mid-range stuff, and for many sex/kink toys (especially anything leather or metal) anything top-of-the-line can go for many hundreds of dollars - or even thousands, for some sorts of items. The key is, don't go for cheap and shoddy. Sturdy and well-made is particularly important for bondage gear. Go for buckles vs. velcro, make sure catches don't slip, make sure the cuffs are lines (metal cuffs are generally not recommended, particularly for newbies, but if you go that way, make sure to purchase actual police cuffs, not cheap knock-offs; buy them at gun shops or online from police outfitters.) On the other hand, a cheap ping-pong paddle or belt works just fine for those wanting to experiment with spanking (a type of play with which technique is generally much more important than what you use).

If anyone is in the market for such stuff, *is 18 or older* and would like recommendations, I'd be glad to suggest some vendors/products, or give my opinion of products if you send me a link or whatever. Feel free to PM me. Anything for the cause of perviliciousness.

Can I also add, if your going to use food, clean up quickly, cream goes off so much quicker on sheets!

If you're gonna do food play, definitely make sure you do so on a surface you don't mind getting messy. Use old sheets, tarps, etc.

Also, be very, very careful about getting any sort of milk product or anything with sugar inside the vagina. This can result in horrendous yeast infections. Frosting or chocolate syrup go *on*, not *in*. Fruit can be safe so long as the skin of the fruit is unbroken/not sliced, in which case you carry the same risks. Thus, fresh strawberries or grapes are okay, so long as you don't leave them in there, whereas peach or melon slices and pieces of pineapple are a *poor* idea. Meat products going inside is also a big no-no. Slim Jims are not good for insertion!! Insertion of breads and other grain products is a very, very poor idea, as is insertion of anything salty (throw off the natural Ph).

Oh, and be *very* careful with melted foods or heated syrups. I generally don't recommend them, as it is easy to underestimate how hot they are, and in the case of sticky substances, their tendency to cling can produce really nasty burns.

[JeffreyWKramer]

I dunno, I'm a lot hairier than I was in those days.


The baby oil thing works great to keep the wax from sticking on the hair, as would many sorts of massage oil, and it's not like oil rubs are ever a bad thing.

[Smell]

Generally true, though I think "have to have the best" is going a bit too far. ....

I got excited!

Dom

smells fruity

[Bouncing Boy]

(I'm remembering the girl that died in the making of "Goldfinger"---they left the gold paint on her too long, and her skin couldn't breathe, and she died.)

Ahem (http://www.snopes.com/movies/films/goldfing.htm)


The actress did not die. She is alive and well today.

[howyadoin]

The baby oil thing works great to keep the wax from sticking on the hair, as would many sorts of massage oil, and it's not like oil rubs are ever a bad thing.Food for thought.

[Solaris]

Ahem (http://www.snopes.com/movies/films/goldfing.htm)


The actress did not die. She is alive and well today.


Dang it---it looks like I got caught with another urban legend in my pants! Grrrrr. I actually thought about checking it on Snopes first, but had to run time-limited errands...

Thanks for the catch, BB.

[Solaris]

I've run into this as well.
If you're intent on getting your groove on in a water environment (one of my favs), try the shower. You're not completely immersed so things stay nice and "comfortable". A hot tub or jacuzzi works well too as long as the important areas stay above the surface.


Flexible shower heads (the kind on a hose) can be SOOOO much fun! :D Especially the ones with the various "massager" settings...

[howyadoin]

Dang it---it looks like I got caught with another urban legend in my pants!You should really check your pockets more often.

[Solaris]

Generally true, though I think "have to have the best" is going a bit too far. There is some very good mid-range stuff, and for many sex/kink toys (especially anything leather or metal) anything top-of-the-line can go for many hundreds of dollars - or even thousands, for some sorts of items. The key is, don't go for cheap and shoddy. Sturdy and well-made is particularly important for bondage gear. Go for buckles vs. velcro, make sure catches don't slip, make sure the cuffs are lines (metal cuffs are generally not recommended, particularly for newbies, but if you go that way, make sure to purchase actual police cuffs, not cheap knock-offs; buy them at gun shops or online from police outfitters.) On the other hand, a cheap ping-pong paddle or belt works just fine for those wanting to experiment with spanking (a type of play with which technique is generally much more important than what you use).

If anyone is in the market for such stuff, *is 18 or older* and would like recommendations, I'd be glad to suggest some vendors/products, or give my opinion of products if you send me a link or whatever. Feel free to PM me. Anything for the cause of perviliciousness.



If you're gonna do food play, definitely make sure you do so on a surface you don't mind getting messy. Use old sheets, tarps, etc.

Also, be very, very careful about getting any sort of milk product or anything with sugar inside the vagina. This can result in horrendous yeast infections. Frosting or chocolate syrup go *on*, not *in*. Fruit can be safe so long as the skin of the fruit is unbroken/not sliced, in which case you carry the same risks. Thus, fresh strawberries or grapes are okay, so long as you don't leave them in there, whereas peach or melon slices and pieces of pineapple are a *poor* idea. Meat products going inside is also a big no-no. Slim Jims are not good for insertion!! Insertion of breads and other grain products is a very, very poor idea, as is insertion of anything salty (throw off the natural Ph).

Oh, and be *very* careful with melted foods or heated syrups. I generally don't recommend them, as it is easy to underestimate how hot they are, and in the case of sticky substances, their tendency to cling can produce really nasty burns.


I suggest, for food play, put a rubberized sheet *under* the regular sheet, so you don't get food absorbed into the mattress surface. Some baby stores (ie. Baby's R Us) carry rubberized crib blankets, that have a layer of rubber sandwiched between layers of cloth---and they're machine washable. They aren't full sized, of course, but if you're looking for something to cover a *bit* of area, they work well. (If you have a baby, they also make great portable changing pads, for when you're on the go.) There are some that are full sized for a crib, which is what you'd probably want---I think Gerber makes 'em.

And Jeffrey, your forgot the long-stemmed marachino cherries! :D

Another note about food: if you're going to spread it all over the place, make sure it's something that you like eating a quantity of. I know they go nuts with whipped cream in the movies---so, have you ever sat down and tried to eat an entire bowl of cool whip in one go? Ick. Ditto for me w/chocolate syrup---a large quantity is too much of that flavor. Caramel syrup, however... :D Anyway, before you go hogwild with a food on putting a lot of it *on*, make sure it's something you don't mind consuming a lot of all at once. Otherwise, it means a trip to the shower in between things... or some very sticky play. (Which some folks like, I guess...) Heh.

One word of advice on the metal police cuffs: Make sure you have spare(s) keys, and have them with you. (And test all spares to make sure they work, ahead of time!) Probably every police force in the country by now has had at least one call to come saw someone out of cuffs (often in a very compromising situation/dishabille) because the keys got lost. My advice would be tape a spare pair within easy reach, underneath the bed's sideboard, to the back of the headboard, or under a nightstand, wherever you normally use them (and make sure you CAN reach 'em!).

[Solaris]

You should really check your pockets more often.


Sigh... I know. It's really sad. They just keep crawling in there when I'm not looking.

:D

[JeffreyWKramer]

I suggest, for food play, put a rubberized sheet *under* the regular sheet, so you don't get food absorbed into the mattress surface. Some baby stores (ie. Baby's R Us) carry rubberized crib blankets, that have a layer of rubber sandwiched between layers of cloth---and they're machine washable. They aren't full sized, of course, but if you're looking for something to cover a *bit* of area, they work well. (If you have a baby, they also make great portable changing pads, for when you're on the go.) There are some that are full sized for a crib, which is what you'd probably want---I think Gerber makes 'em.

Rubberized sheets, tarp, etc. Any/all a good idea. Protect the mattress (or couch, or carpet, or whatever)/

And Jeffrey, your forgot the long-stemmed marachino cherries! :D Just make sure to wash them first, as that syrupy stuff they come in is not good. Even then, they are saturated to a degree that might create a bit of risk, so don't leave them in long.

One word of advice on the metal police cuffs: Make sure you have spare(s) keys, and have them with you. (And test all spares to make sure they work, ahead of time!) Probably every police force in the country by now has had at least one call to come saw someone out of cuffs (often in a very compromising situation/dishabille) because the keys got lost. My advice would be tape a spare pair within easy reach, underneath the bed's sideboard, to the back of the headboard, or under a nightstand, wherever you normally use them (and make sure you CAN reach 'em!).

Definitely. This is true with anything that locks. All of the locks I use in play use the same key, and I keep a copy on my personal key ring, one in the bedroom and two with our play gear.

That said, I can't emphasize enough that police-style cuffs are really not ideal for kinky play. They put a lot of stress at the a small point of contact, and they tend to tighten up if you struggle. This creates a substantial risk of cutting off circulation. Plus, the metal itself can cut the skin if one gets vigorous. I much, much more strongly recommend lined leather cuffs of at least 2" width (greater width = more distribution of force/impact = safer).

[Solaris]

Rubberized sheets, tarp, etc. Any/all a good idea. Protect the mattress (or couch, or carpet, or whatever)/

Just make sure to wash them first, as that syrupy stuff they come in is not good. Even then, they are saturated to a degree that might create a bit of risk, so don't leave them in long.



Definitely. This is true with anything that locks. All of the locks I use in play use the same key, and I keep a copy on my personal key ring, one in the bedroom and two with our play gear.

That said, I can't emphasize enough that police-style cuffs are really not ideal for kinky play. They put a lot of stress at the a small point of contact, and they tend to tighten up if you struggle. This creates a substantial risk of cutting off circulation. Plus, the metal itself can cut the skin if one gets vigorous. I much, much more strongly recommend lined leather cuffs of at least 2" width (greater width = more distribution of force/impact = safer).

I've never been into the cuffs thing (not yet, anyway!) but in thinking about it, I'd MUCH prefer some soft-lined, wide cuffs out of something like fur and leather, as opposed to the police ones! Yeouch.

[JeffreyWKramer]

I've never been into the cuffs thing (not yet, anyway!) but in thinking about it, I'd MUCH prefer some soft-lined, wide cuffs out of something like fur and leather, as opposed to the police ones! Yeouch.

If you decide you're in the market, I'll be glad to recommend some vendors or look over and give my opinion on stuff you're considering.

[mgs]

thanks for those tips JWK! :D

I always knew there was something to the kind of wax to use, but i had never quite really known.....and now i know! ;)

[JeffreyWKramer]

thanks for those tips JWK! :D

I always knew there was something to the kind of wax to use, but i had never quite really known.....and now i know! ;)


Now you know... and knowing's half the battle!

[Nitmo]

I've never been into the cuffs thing (not yet, anyway!) but in thinking about it, I'd MUCH prefer some soft-lined, wide cuffs out of something like fur and leather, as opposed to the police ones! Yeouch.

Fur-lined is good, if you're going to go with silk ropes, be careful of too much movement. Get something that wraps nice and snug, no sliding or chafing are givens, Fur-lined metal isn't always good either, a velcro-wrap around really works, plus you can eventually get out of it if you really need to. (As is the case with mischievous partners and over-hydrating in anticipation of sweatiness)

An easy way to test the waters on this is wear a dress, have PJ slide it up around your wrists so you can't really pull it off before you get to it. If you don't like it, it's real easy to pull it all the way off and pick up where you left off.

[howyadoin]

if you're going to go with silk ropes, be careful of too much movement.Yeah, silk burn ain't much fun.

[Lex]

*takes notes*

What a great idea. These is good safty-tips. If Alice and I ever try some of those things, I'll definately refer to these tips. (Right now, we're not at the pervilicious stage yet.)

If you're working with a gal, always wait till she's ready (as in "worked up") before penetration. Otherwise, you get one pissed off woman, and possibly a doctor bill.

I had always heard that foreplay was a must before sex to get a female partner ready (with TV, movies, etc. I was thankfully bombarded with that info). But, I never realized that there were risks if she isn't "worked up." That post and your story from the Special Injuries thread has definately enlightened me. Now I'll make sure to check with Alice before anything happens. I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt her.

[Fabian]

If you're on the roof of a building with a great view, be absolutely sure that the night watchman is nowhere near where you are or else you have to explain. Unless you're in Vegas, then they don't really care

[Spike-X]

I've run into this as well.
If you're intent on getting your groove on in a water environment (one of my favs), try the shower. You're not completely immersed so things stay nice and "comfortable". A hot tub or jacuzzi works well too as long as the important areas stay above the surface.

Speaking of hot tubs...make sure you turn the heater off if you think you're going to be 'active' in there for a while. I damn near passed out a couple of times...

Also - semen, hot tubs and body hair do not go well together. Things can get very sticky.

[JeffreyWKramer]

Fur-lined is good, if you're going to go with silk ropes, be careful of too much movement. Get something that wraps nice and snug, no sliding or chafing are givens.

Something else to be careful of with silk - make sure you know how to tie and untie knots, and use knots which can be untied fairly uneasily. If one moves around much, knots tied in silk can become extremely tight, and very difficult to untie. Really, it's a good idea with any sort of bondage to have surgical scissors or something of the like around, in case you tie something you can't get untied, or simply to be able to remove the bindings in an instant, in case of emergency.

[JeffreyWKramer]

*takes notes*

What a great idea. These is good safty-tips. If Alice and I ever try some of those things, I'll definately refer to these tips. (Right now, we're not at the pervilicious stage yet.)

You might also want to do a search for my old "Ask the Swinger" thread, as there was some good, basic how-to and safety information about some pervilicious activities and topics in that thread.


I had always heard that foreplay was a must before sex to get a female partner ready (with TV, movies, etc. I was thankfully bombarded with that info). But, I never realized that there were risks if she isn't "worked up." That post and your story from the Special Injuries thread has definately enlightened me. Now I'll make sure to check with Alice before anything happens. I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt her.

Good plan. Also, doesn't hurt to simply check if a lady is ready. If a couple fingers don't go in and out without problems, chances are she isn't ready yet for anything larger than that.

[JeffreyWKramer]

Also - semen, hot tubs and body hair do not go well together. Things can get very sticky.

This is very true.

This, and Howy's concern re: hair and wax, is one reason why a lot of pervilicious folk favor shaving for both genders. (Avoiding flossing - or need to floss - during sex is another). Not my thing, but I can certainly understand the appeal to some.

[Michael P]

That said, I can't emphasize enough that police-style cuffs are really not ideal for kinky play. They put a lot of stress at the a small point of contact, and they tend to tighten up if you struggle. This creates a substantial risk of cutting off circulation. Plus, the metal itself can cut the skin if one gets vigorous. I much, much more strongly recommend lined leather cuffs of at least 2" width (greater width = more distribution of force/impact = safer).
And under no circumstances should you go with the cheap handcuffs you get out of arcade crane games.

Sadly, sex had nothing to do with the manner in which I learned this lesson.

[Typo Lad]

Dang it---it looks like I got caught with another urban legend in my pants!

Okay, I think refering to your lady-parts as a legend is a bit egotistical, even if it is you.

[Typo Lad]

Here's an important tip:

Don't buy ANYTHING "used" that you intent to use for perv-play.

[JeffreyWKramer]

And under no circumstances should you go with the cheap handcuffs you get out of arcade crane games.

Sadly, sex had nothing to do with the manner in which I learned this lesson.


Yup, like I said earlier, if you are gonna play with metal cuffs, spend the money and get a quality pair of actual police cuffs, which can be obtained via police supply outlets or, sometimes, better gun shops. Cheap metal cuffs are prone to slippage, breaking and all sorts of other problems. Given the relative vulnerability of the wrists, trusting them to cheap metal goodies is a very poor idea.

Remember, kids: Good perviliciousness is safe perviliciousness.

[HomerJay]

I had always heard that foreplay was a must before sex to get a female partner ready (with TV, movies, etc. I was thankfully bombarded with that info). But, I never realized that there were risks if she isn't "worked up."

And fellas, TRUST ME, study up on the female anatomy and know what you are doing before you go "down there". Just slobbering around ain't gonna get it done. It's also a VERY good idea to go down on her first and make sure she gets off before you two move on to the main event. You take care of that, and more often than not she'll show her appreciation and really bring it.

[Corrina]

What HomerJay said.

It's very often *after* an orgasm that women are much more open to...well, lots of things. Tends to put us (well, me) in a very good mood. :)

As a friend of mine said in answer to a comment that simultaneous orgasm is better:

--What? Are we rationing them? We only get just one?

Lubricants help, if there's trouble with dryness down there.

Oh, and if you're not sure you providing oral stimulation correctly, ask. While there are some women who aren't comfortable with vocalize during sex, they usually can say ' higher,' 'lower,' or 'perfect, don't stop.'

Of course, women should feel free to speak up and provide directions without prompting if it's not working. I have to admit it's WAY easier to deal with a penis than my anatomy.

[Solaris]

Okay, I think refering to your lady-parts as a legend is a bit egotistical, even if it is you.


:p I said that's where the URBAN legends hide, with me! Not that my PARTS are legend! (If they were, Tom Cruise would've been there years ago... which I'm not too sure about. And having Tim Curry in a demon costume there... no thank you.)

*waits to see if Morts gets the movie trivia*

[Typo Lad]

*waits to see if Morts gets the movie trivia*

Nope. I'm unsmart at that stuff.

[howyadoin]

Nope. I'm unsmart at that stuff.Hint: the key word is "legend".

[Solaris]

Nope. I'm unsmart at that stuff.

I think it was one of Cruise's first movies... a fantasy pic, with Tim Curry in demon costume as the bad guy. The title was "Legend."

[JeffreyWKramer]

I think it was one of Cruise's first movies... a fantasy pic, with Tim Curry in demon costume as the bad guy. The title was "Legend."


Well, not really close to his "first" film - he had several films by then, mostly (other than RISKY BUSINESS) pretty sucky.

juli is very fond of LEGEND. She and I aren't on the same page there, but it's not a completely horrid film.

[Solaris]

Well, not really close to his "first" film - he had several films by then, mostly (other than RISKY BUSINESS) pretty sucky.

juli is very fond of LEGEND. She and I aren't on the same page there, but it's not a completely horrid film.

To me (boy, are we into derailment here! heh) it's not the greatest fantasy pic ever, by a long shot... but fairly enjoyable. I'd rate it at around the level (and some of the feel) of Labyrinth (but without the totally cool "crystal ball juggling"). Now "Princess Bride" on the other hand, is a COMPLETELY enjoyable and fun fantasy film... and Inego Montoya is both hot and awesome. Heh.