View Full Version : Alex wants to have sex -- but he needs *your* help
Wesley Dodds
04-25-2005, 04:54 PM
From the CBR chatroom:
[03:47 PM] Alex: by the way everyone, cross your fingers that i get some tonight
[03:47 PM] Wesley Dodds: Alex -- no.
[03:48 PM] Nate Grey: Wes beat me to it
[03:48 PM] Alex: Wesley: this is beyond your frightening hate of the right wing, this is about sex!
[03:48 PM] JeffreyWKramer: We don't want you to have sex, Alex, because that might make more rightwingers
[03:48 PM] Jake V: i still say no
[03:48 PM] Alex: you're all bastards
[03:48 PM] Jake V: one mistake and you ruin the population
[03:48 PM] Wesley Dodds: Sorry, Alex.
Alex wants to have sex... but he needs *your* help. None of the people in the chatroom would send happy thoughts his way. Will you be the one to send Alex happy thoughts and break his terrible, terrible celibacy?
Give a damn.
Smoogis
04-25-2005, 04:55 PM
Get some, Alex!
JeffreyWKramer
04-25-2005, 04:55 PM
Don't do it, folks. Don't do it.
He left out the bit about the liberals killing any baby i may produce.
Thanks smoog, i knew you were cooler than wesley already though.
Wesley Dodds
04-25-2005, 04:57 PM
He left out the bit about the liberals killing any baby i may produce.
And you know we will. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!
He left out the bit about the liberals killing any baby i may produce.
And you know we will. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!
Its ok, i hate children.
Even my own...what if they grow up and...join the green party!
It would be like my balls beat up my heart.
Adam Crocker
04-25-2005, 04:59 PM
Send Alex happy thoughts? AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! THAT'S CRAZY!!!
But I will as I am currently listening to the Pixies.
Send Alex happy thoughts? AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! THAT'S CRAZY!!!
But I will as I am currently listening to the Pixies.
Yes! Cronin!
Yes! Pixies!
Im going out now, will update on this thread, i feel my chances are between 89-94% positive
Quarterwolf
04-25-2005, 05:01 PM
Alex having sex will not produce any children...after all he only wants to suck a cool guy.
Go for it Alex!!
Solaris
04-25-2005, 05:04 PM
*mails Alex a body-sized condom*
Go for it. :D
Nitmo
04-25-2005, 05:05 PM
If you don't get laid, you owe me $5 for sending you some happy thoughts
Wesley Dodds
04-25-2005, 05:09 PM
*mails Alex a body-sized condom*
Don't forget the lube.
Solaris
04-25-2005, 05:22 PM
*mails Alex a body-sized condom*
Don't forget the lube.
*mails Alex a bathtub filled with warm lube*
Waitaminute. He's now got a body-sized condom, and a bathtub full of warm lube... what does he need a girl for?
:D
Mike Smash!
04-25-2005, 05:36 PM
Its ok, i hate children.
Even my own...what if they grow up and...join the green party!
It would be like my balls beat up my heart.
That's reason enough for me to cheer you on, Alex!
*pokes holes in Alex's condoms*
Shellhead
04-25-2005, 05:50 PM
Send Alex happy thoughts? AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! THAT'S CRAZY!!!
But I will as I am currently listening to the Pixies.
"Hey"
"hey
been trying to meet you
hey
must be a devil between us
or whores in my head
whores at my door
whores in my bed
but hey
where
have you
been if you go i will surely die
we're chained?
"uh said the man to the lady
uh said the lady to the man she adored
and the whores like a choir
go uh all night
and mary ain't you tired of this
uh
is
the
sound
that the mother makes when the baby breaks
we're chained"
phoenixrising
04-25-2005, 05:52 PM
I'll send sexy vibes your way only if you promise to not procreate. Ever.
kingpin51
04-25-2005, 06:09 PM
Go out there and TAP SOME ASS
ragnarok_2012
04-25-2005, 06:34 PM
Hmmm, I have images of small, chain-smoking children being force-fed Ayn Rand books and told that Rush Limbaugh is the messiah.
Ronald Bryan
04-25-2005, 06:36 PM
Get laid, dude!
Fabian
04-25-2005, 08:42 PM
Alex, may your dreams of riding the hershey highway come true.
Grant
04-25-2005, 08:42 PM
Alex, make some lucky stud happy.
He suck a cool guy.
Solaris
04-25-2005, 10:18 PM
Hmmm, I have images of small, chain-smoking children being force-fed Ayn Rand books and told that Rush Limbaugh is the messiah.
Those aren't children---they're Alex's "mini me" clones.
Royal
04-25-2005, 10:52 PM
I take a break from chat & this is what happens.
Pitiful.
Fabian
04-25-2005, 10:55 PM
Well Alex hasn't been on chat so I'm assuming he's been greeted with open body parts
Tages
04-25-2005, 11:30 PM
If I'm not fornicating, no one else can either.
*hexes Alex*
Paul McEnery
04-26-2005, 03:29 AM
disconnects Alex's {porno}internet connection.
*sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss*
promises to type badly in the interim.
Typo Lad
04-26-2005, 06:11 AM
No, I want Alex to have a child.
Then we shall kidnap it and raise it liberal.
JeffreyWKramer
04-26-2005, 06:18 AM
So, was your quest successful, Alex?
NormanB
04-26-2005, 06:32 AM
I don't even know who you are, but I support you in this valiant endeavor.
Go forth good man, and spread your seed.
Adam Crocker
04-26-2005, 06:46 AM
No, I want Alex to have a child.
Then we shall kidnap it and raise it liberal.
Give the child to me then! He'll really hate that!
Typo Lad
04-26-2005, 06:51 AM
Give the child to me then! He'll really hate that!
We want to raise it liberal, not give it poor taste in music, damnit.
Besides, you'd just eat it.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr
04-26-2005, 06:53 AM
I'm sure you will give the farm animal of your choice the greatest 30 seconds of its life. Go for it!
Paradox
04-26-2005, 10:17 AM
Sex with Alex??? Why on earth would I be so cruel as to wish that on any girl, boy or farm animal???
No! :eek:
JeffreyWKramer
04-26-2005, 10:59 AM
Sex with Alex??? Why on earth would I be so cruel as to wish that on any girl, boy or farm animal???
Don't forget house pets. The poor kitties!!
Mike Smash!
04-26-2005, 11:15 AM
Don't forget house pets. The poor kitties!!I know where you can find a cat...
http://www.toptrucks.us/Photos_ShouldntBeFunny/free%20cat.jpg
Ronald Bryan
04-26-2005, 07:06 PM
So, did we ever find out what happened?
6 points baby! saw her again today, which is why i haven't been around.
happy thoughts appreciated, though they were apprently unnecesary.
Adam Crocker
04-26-2005, 08:08 PM
6 points baby! saw her again today, which is why i haven't been around.
happy thoughts appreciated, though they were apprently unnecesary.
So did you get laid or what?
Adam Crocker
04-26-2005, 08:13 PM
We want to raise it liberal...
But I'm as hippy-dippy liberal as them come!
Besides, you'd just eat it.
Oh come now! Do you seriously think that my taste is so lacking? I my good sir am a connoisseur of dead baby, and can assure you that I wouldn't stoop to imbidding the flesh of Alex spawn.
...not give it poor taste in music, damnit.
...now you're just being a big meanie...
http://www.issue9mm.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_cry.gif
Ronald Bryan
04-26-2005, 08:19 PM
So did you get laid or what?
Too ambiguous, just like a conservative!
Too ambiguous, just like a conservative!
6 points....touchdown?
Christ ron, lame girl crocker didn't get it, i understand, but you?
Adam Crocker
04-26-2005, 08:25 PM
Too ambiguous, just like a conservative!
No, just like...Alex.
Adam Crocker
04-26-2005, 08:26 PM
6 points....touchdown?
So you DID get laid.
OH GOD NO!!! WHAT I HAVE DONE!?!?!?!!!
So you DID get laid.
OH GOD NO!!! WHAT I HAVE DONE!?!?!?!!!
I even got up before her, went out, came back, and made pancakes.
Thats my way of telling a girl i like her, pancakes after sex instead of leaving.
Ronald Bryan
04-26-2005, 08:32 PM
The instant replay has given Alex a rule change and the extra point. TOUCHDOWN!
ragnarok_2012
04-26-2005, 08:32 PM
I even got up before her, went out, came back, and made pancakes.
Thats my way of telling a girl i like her, pancakes after sex instead of leaving.
Pancakes must be street for crack.
(Bonus points to the people that get the reference)
Rallura
04-26-2005, 08:33 PM
I even got up before her, went out, came back, and made pancakes.
You made pancakes for a girl?
You know, you don't need anyone to ruin your image, you ruin it all by yourself, you pansy.
Pancakes must be street for crack.
(Bonus points to the people that get the reference)
Family guy.
Booya
You made pancakes for a girl?
You know, you don't need anyone to ruin your image, you ruin it all by yourself, you pansy.
I was going to make a steak, but shes a vegitarian
ragnarok_2012
04-26-2005, 08:42 PM
Family guy.
Booya
You get bonus points! Now make sure to spend them wisely.
howyadoin
04-26-2005, 09:00 PM
You made pancakes for a girl?
You know, you don't need anyone to ruin your image, you ruin it all by yourself, you pansy.What's wrong with makin' pancakes? Even if the sex was bad, she'll still come back for more.
Nitmo
04-26-2005, 09:11 PM
Woohoo! Go Alex! You slut!
You probably should have worn this (http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=195) to match your avatar
Solaris
04-27-2005, 01:42 AM
Woohoo! Go Alex! You slut!
You probably should have worn this (http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=195) to match your avatar
Aw damn, that's an awesome pic. Alex, you ought to take that as your new avatar.
And congrats, Alex---hope you laid on some syrup with those pancakes! ;)
Fabian
04-27-2005, 01:54 AM
I even got up before her, went out, came back, and made pancakes.
Thats my way of telling a girl i like her, pancakes after sex instead of leaving.
You even cooked? My goodness, you're getting whipped
I was going to make a steak, but shes a vegitarian
Is this a sign of the end of meat loving Alex?
JeffreyWKramer
04-27-2005, 04:40 AM
Is this a sign of the end of meat loving Alex?
Next he'll be joining PETA in exchange for trying PiB.
Wesley Dodds
04-27-2005, 05:09 AM
I was going to make a steak, but shes a vegitarian
Alex is dating a HIPPIE!
Typo Lad
04-27-2005, 05:39 AM
I was going to make a steak, but shes a vegitarian
What kind of woman doesn't like meat?
JeffreyWKramer
04-27-2005, 06:08 AM
What kind of woman doesn't like meat?
Hopefully she still likes the bone.
howyadoin
04-27-2005, 10:28 AM
What kind of woman doesn't like meat?I've met a lot more women who are vegetarians than men. Plenty of women don't like meat.
Personally, I never wanna date one again, but that might just be me.
Typo Lad
04-27-2005, 10:30 AM
I've met a lot more women who are vegetarians than men. Plenty of women don't like meat.
Personally, I never wanna date one again, but that might just be me.
I was making a dirty joke, you...you...Canadian!
howyadoin
04-27-2005, 10:30 AM
I was making a dirty joke, you...you...Canadian!I've met lots of lesbians, too.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr
04-27-2005, 12:50 PM
You made her pancakes???
Jesus. Just how long had it been, anyway?
Quarterwolf
04-27-2005, 12:55 PM
I was going to make a steak, but shes a vegitarian
So she would not eat your meat? You must have been very sad.
Typo Lad
04-27-2005, 12:56 PM
So she would not eat your meat? You must have been very sad.
JOke's been made on, move on point4lupine!
howyadoin
04-27-2005, 01:39 PM
JOke's been made on, move on point4lupine!Wouldn't that be point25?
Solaris
04-27-2005, 01:41 PM
I've met a lot more women who are vegetarians than men. Plenty of women don't like meat.
Personally, I never wanna date one again, but that might just be me.
While I like veggies, I'm definitely a carnivore.
*chomp!*
:D
JeffreyWKramer
04-27-2005, 02:15 PM
*chomp!*
:D
Chomp in that context is bad. Bad Chris! You need a spanking.
...
Then again, I wouldn't want to encourage such behavior...
Solaris
04-27-2005, 02:25 PM
Chomp in that context is bad. Bad Chris! You need a spanking.
...
Then again, I wouldn't want to encourage such behavior...
Tee hee! One of our favorite gaming lines has now become "Behave, or I WON'T spank you!" among characters. Hee. Of course, we use it out of game at times, as well... :D It's a great line.
Christopher O
04-27-2005, 02:39 PM
Hopefully she still likes the bone.
Heh. I was thinking the same thing. Incidentally, is Mary her name?
kmeyers
04-27-2005, 02:49 PM
so.....will there be an encore performance, or was this a one night only event?
howyadoin
04-27-2005, 02:54 PM
Heh. I was thinking the same thing. Incidentally, is Mary her name?Mary Moon?
so.....will there be an encore performance, or was this a one night only event?And what'll he cook for breakfast this time?
Christopher O
04-27-2005, 02:59 PM
Mary Moon?
Well, if she doesn't eat meat but sure likes the bone, who else could it be? I'm just saying...
JeffreyWKramer
04-27-2005, 03:36 PM
Heh. I was thinking the same thing. Incidentally, is Mary her name?
Bing Bing! Glad someone got the reference.
JeffreyWKramer
04-27-2005, 03:36 PM
And what'll he cook for breakfast this time?
The direction he's heading so far? Probably quiche.
howyadoin
04-27-2005, 03:47 PM
The direction he's heading so far? Probably quiche.I seriously don't understand the pancake hate.
JeffreyWKramer
04-27-2005, 03:49 PM
I seriously don't understand the pancake hate.
Not a matter of pancake hate (though they're not my thing, for sure).
The idea of rabidly anti-PETA Alex going with vegan girl is pretty funny, though.
Smoogis
04-27-2005, 03:50 PM
I seriously don't understand the pancake hate.
I prefer french toast.
howyadoin
04-27-2005, 03:52 PM
The idea of rabidly anti-PETA Alex going with vegan girl is pretty funny, though.I dunno. You can be a vegetarian without supporting terrorists the way PETA does.
JeffreyWKramer
04-27-2005, 03:55 PM
I dunno. You can be a vegetarian without supporting terrorists the way PETA does.
Sure, sure. But I'm pretty sure Alex has made a few disparaging remarks about vegans along the way, too.
And what'll he cook for breakfast this time?
They only get the breakfast treatment once.
Im seeing her again sometime this weekend, as the week is my binge of drinking and insanity to celebrate school being out.
Sure, sure. But I'm pretty sure Alex has made a few disparaging remarks about vegans along the way, too.
Oh, only idiot vegans.
She's the type who doesn't eat meat, but she eats eggs and drinks milk, and she doesn't care if others eat meat.
She isn't overtly political, thinking the process is funny rather than taking a side. So, it's not like i went after a big liberal.
Christopher O
04-27-2005, 08:29 PM
Bing Bing! Glad someone got the reference.
I deserve some sort of award. How about some of Alex's post-coital pancakes? Minus the coital part.
Nikita
04-27-2005, 08:38 PM
I even got up before her, went out, came back, and made pancakes.
Thats my way of telling a girl i like her, pancakes after sex instead of leaving.
Pancakes? LOL. That is kind of cute actually. Alex got laid!!!! Yay!!!! Good for you sweetie. ;)
JeffreyWKramer
04-27-2005, 08:42 PM
I deserve some sort of award. How about some of Alex's post-coital pancakes? Minus the coital part.
Sure. Alex, order up!
Paradox
04-28-2005, 09:45 PM
Smoogis has good taste:
I prefer french toast.
I make GREAT French Toast! :D
Well I DO...
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