The X-Men...in the year 2000!

[LoneWolf21]

Inspired by the Conan O'Brian skit of the same name...

What do you predict will be some of the changes that will happen t the X-Men and the x-books far in the future....in the year 2000?

[PhoenixBoyX]

Well...um...lemme go check what happened.....
-Nick

[Jkid099]

DON'T READ ANY OF THIS UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE SPOILED FOR WHAT HAPPENS IN THE X-MEN IN THE YEAR 2000!!!

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Claremont comes back and makes things worse.
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[LoneWolf21]

.....


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Am I the only person who's ever watched Late Night with Conan o'Brian?

Sigh......

[Flight]

Is it an American only show?

[LoneWolf21]

Is it an American only show?


Well I know they get Conan in Canada, but for all I know that's as far as it goes.

[Arrjay]

Yeah Flight. It's pretty much American though I did see some episodes of it in Tasmania once but that was a while ago.

[Arrjay]

See, the thing is that the year 2000 already happened. Please explain what you actually mean 'cause I have some old x-books from the year 2000 that I can totally analyze if that's what you're after.

[Sabre]

See, the thing is that the year 2000 already happened. Please explain what you actually mean 'cause I have some old x-books from the year 2000 that I can totally analyze if that's what you're after.

He's just looking for wild joke predictions, such as Cannonball declares Kentucky an independent nation and rules it with an iron fist ;)

I watch Conan sometimes, but I've never seen that skit, just heard of it from other people.

[Ryan K]

In the year 2000, Jubilee will finally turn 18, only to be regressed to the age of 12 in the very next issue.

In the year 2000, Polaris will seek psychiatric help and discover that she is not the daughter of Magneto, but in fact his son.

In the year 2000, Cypher will return from the dead, but commit suicide once realizing he is truly stumped by ebonics.

[Ryan K]

Get it now?

It was a skit that O'Brien used to do with guests even before the year 2000. But when 2000 rolled along, they just kept saying 'In the year 2000' anyway as a joke.

Make jokes.

[LoneWolf21]

It's a reference to the skit on the show, where Conan and some guest make gonzo predictions about what will happen in "far in the future, in the year 2000", yes, it already happened, that's part of the joke. Conan and the guest make bizarre, silly "predictions" of what will happen in the "future".

Example: In the year 2000, Storm will leave the X-Men to star in thenew hit reality show, "Who wants to marry a villianous tyrant?"

EDIT: Thanks Ryan and Sabre, I really ought to have explained it better.

[nubly]

Get it now?

It was a skit that O'Brien used to do with guests even before the year 2000. But when 2000 rolled along, they just kept saying 'In the year 2000' anyway as a joke.

Make jokes.


it makes sense now. we were confused because the year 2000 has passed.

[fishtaco]

The Revoltion era was one of the best times for X-men. While X-Force wasnt as nice, what was going on in the main two titles were outstanding. The roster of Cable, Gambit, Beast, Phoenix, and Storm was outstanding. We also had a large roster of Nightcrawler, Rogue, Colossus, Thunderbird, Wolverine, Psylocke, plus Tessa, Forge, and Moonstar. Truly awesome times. Dream's End was an excellent Crossover. Just plain perfect. Bishop the Last X-man was awesome. The new Brotherhood of Mutants rocked. Plus Crimson Pirates, Tullamore Voge, Goth, Hellfire Club, Neo, and more. Tessa rocked, Pyro rocked. A lot of characters were killed off during this. Pyro, Post, Gordon Phillips, Robert Kelly, Moira MacTaggert, Chronomancer, Shard, Goth, and more. Things were great. X-men: Search For Cyclops was an outstanding issue.

[Ryan K]

The Revoltion era was one of the best times for X-men. While X-Force wasnt as nice, what was going on in the main two titles were outstanding. The roster of Cable, Gambit, Beast, Phoenix, and Storm was outstanding. We also had a large roster of Nightcrawler, Rogue, Colossus, Thunderbird, Wolverine, Psylocke, plus Tessa, Forge, and Moonstar. Truly awesome times. Dream's End was an excellent Crossover. Just plain perfect. Bishop the Last X-man was awesome. The new Brotherhood of Mutants rocked. Plus Crimson Pirates, Tullamore Voge, Goth, Hellfire Club, Neo, and more. Tessa rocked, Pyro rocked. A lot of characters were killed off during this. Pyro, Post, Gordon Phillips, Robert Kelly, Moira MacTaggert, Chronomancer, Shard, Goth, and more. Things were great. X-men: Search For Cyclops was an outstanding issue.

Somebody didn't read the whole thread. :D

[fishtaco]

Somebody didn't read the whole thread. :D
yeah, probably not. Is this like a joke or gimmick, or? :confused:

[Bryan Rios]

It's just some skit that Conan O'Brien does on his show once in a while. And it's always helluva funny. Only I didn't enjoy the one he did with Snoop Dogg. =/

[Cyke]

yeah, probably not. Is this like a joke or gimmick, or? :confused:

I suggest you reread the posts before your dissertation :)

Okay, I'll give this a shot:

In the year 2000, the Blob will be the main villain of a summer-wide crossover called The Blob: The Revenge of Star Jones.

In the year 2000, Lockheed the Dragon will fuze with the Inhuman known as Lockjaw. The creature will be named JaHeed and will feast on the corpse that was once known as JaRule.

In the year 2000, Apocalypse will team up with Galactus. After enjoying so much time together, Galactus will once again wear the 'G' on his belt, to match Apocalypse's 'A.' From that point on, they will refer to themselves as Ace and Gary.


Awww, my material is really weak right now....

[DDM]

Jean Grey is reborn as the White Queen. Scott becomes a eunuch & joins Wolverine on one of his mysterious "adventures." Emma Frost takes over the Hellfire Club as the Lord Imperial. Professor X becomes a government operative. Storm takes a job as the local weather girl & becomes one of the world's top meterologists. Manoli Weatherall becomes a comic book writer with her partner, Neal Conan after they leave NPR. Magma opens a restaurant near Pompeii; she says not to worry about the volcano. Selene opens a beauty shop to sell her immortal make-up line for mortals; her partners are Blackheart, Mephisto, Satannish, & Chython. Naturally, her shop is a success, although there are strange deaths that have yet to be explained. Spiral puts her Body Shoppe on the open market to become a billionaire overnight; she leaves Mojo & takes Martha Sterwart's place. Martha Stewart, in the meantime, is on Mojo World...

[Ant-Man]

The Revoltion era was one of the best times for X-men. While X-Force wasnt as nice, what was going on in the main two titles were outstanding. The roster of Cable, Gambit, Beast, Phoenix, and Storm was outstanding. We also had a large roster of Nightcrawler, Rogue, Colossus, Thunderbird, Wolverine, Psylocke, plus Tessa, Forge, and Moonstar. Truly awesome times. Dream's End was an excellent Crossover. Just plain perfect. Bishop the Last X-man was awesome. The new Brotherhood of Mutants rocked. Plus Crimson Pirates, Tullamore Voge, Goth, Hellfire Club, Neo, and more. Tessa rocked, Pyro rocked. A lot of characters were killed off during this. Pyro, Post, Gordon Phillips, Robert Kelly, Moira MacTaggert, Chronomancer, Shard, Goth, and more. Things were great. X-men: Search For Cyclops was an outstanding issue.

So far, fishtaco's joke is the funniest by far :D .

[leg end]

In the year 2000... no character will be ever written out of character.

In the year 2000... Gambit retruns??? yes, the Gambit with the X-Men has been a clone...or maybe not. They battle before it all turns out to be a plot by the criminal mastermind Mr. Sinister but then we wake up and Jr. is alive...or something.

[Alan2099]

In the year 2000 ...

Every Marvel title will feature Wolverine as either a teammate or a member of the supporting cast. It will get so bad that JLA will use Wolverien for 10 issues before anybody even notices that he doesn't belong in that company.

Rob Liefeld will include a clause in his contracts where he doesn't have to draw feet. Also, every character he does will have pointless pouches all over their costumes, cybernetics, and white hair. This includes the Silver Surfer.

magneto will go from ally to enemy to ally to enemy twelve times...ALL IN THE SAME ISSUE!

Thanos will guest star and tell Jean grey to stop tying up his quality time with Mistress Death.

We will see the deput of several new titles, includeing X-Avengers, X-Champions, The Amazing Spider-X-man, and X-forcefactormen.

After having slept with the original Phoenix, Jean grey, and Madelyn Pyor, Cyclops will go look for other versions of Jean to sleep with.

[Kid Seven]

I predict that in the year 2000 a new thing called the intranet (or something) will lea to fans all over the world uniting to praise and say only the nicest things about all comic books and all comic creators.

[DDM]

Wolverine will grow 7 feet tall, lose all of his hair, & become the new Giant Man. His adamantium skeleton will divorce Logan for growing too much & will be called Bub.

[Ant-Man]

Wolverine will grow 7 feet tall, lose all of his hair, & become the new Giant Man. His adamantium skeleton will divorce Logan for growing too much & will be called Bub.

You got close on this one. Wolverine grew over 6 feet tall in the X-Men movies :D .

[protege]

Somebody didn't read the whole thread. :D
Maybe some of us are just nostalgic for the way things were.

[Gaz]

In the year 2000, Northstar will finally be allowed to have a boyfriend for more than 2 issues. He'll be a bouncer called Jamal, become the new Ant-Man and get a recurring role in Uncanny. Then Austen will get rehired and kill him off in his first issue back because it's "edgy" to kill Ant-Man.

[Beastfan07]

In the year 2000, The Xornito saga will be solved. Xorn was pretending to be Magneto pretending to be Xorn, pretending to be Magneto, who's brother was Xorn also pretending to be Magneto, who was in a movie with... Kevin Bacon.

[Kirayoshi]

In the year 2000...
Moira MacTaggart's ghost will haunt the mansion. When confronted by the X-Men, she'll reply, "Don't mind me, just waitin' for my turn to be resurrected."

In the year 2000...
A major crossover within the X-books, attributed to Chris Claremont, will be proven to have been written by someone else when readers realize that no one's been mind-controlled in the whole story!

In the year 2000...
Peter Rasputin and Kitty Pryde will continue to skirt the issue of whether or not they should get together, despite the fact that they've been married for five years and have two children!

In the year 2000...
Chuck Austin will make people forget his terrible performance in Uncanny X-Men with his even worse performance in a revival of Neil Simon's "Prisoner of Second Avenue".

[Rachel Grey]

In the year 2000...

... the Askani will re-form, but with no Apocalypse to battle they soon decide that their porpouse in life is sex, drugs & bake slaes.

... Gambit will become Kitty's ho.

... it will be discovered that Professor X & Mr. Sinister are actually the same person.

... Jean becomes the Black Queen again and makes Emma her little sex slave.

... Wolverine will discover hip hop.

[mattbib]

Claremont comes back and makes things worse. In the year 2000...

Says you. CC's return to the X-books was great. He tried to bring new ideas to the titles and got nothing but complaints from impatient fanboys when he did so. Yet the same complainers complain when they're stuck with the status quo. Thank God he was given more time to explore his storylines in X-Treme and now in Uncanny.

[The Sword Is Drawn]

In the Year 2000

Captain Britain will be given a regular series again...

Kitty Pryde will be revealed to be a good three years younger than we all thought she was... again.

Jean Grey will not be resurrected.

Wolverine will be criminally Underexposed...

[Kid Seven]

In the year 2000...

Rogue will go blond. Though continuing the controversy by refusing to say whether her hair was 'brown with a white stripe' or 'white that's been dyed brown'. She will say only "Sugah, one thing's for shu. Tha carpet matches the drapes." :eek:

[Gaz]

In the year 2000...

... the Askani will re-form, but with no Apocalypse to battle they soon decide that their porpouse in life is sex, drugs & bake slaes.

... Gambit will become Kitty's ho.

... it will be discovered that Professor X & Mr. Sinister are actually the same person.

... Jean becomes the Black Queen again and makes Emma her little sex slave.

... Wolverine will discover hip hop.
Huh. Most of these are things I would not object to. Heck, 3 and 4 are developments I demand be explored in a new MAX series! :evilsmile

[Kid Seven]

That's why...Wolverine's got...the healing factor...

Gah!!!!! I can't believe I went there. Acchhh!!!

*looks for bar of soap for brain.

[angry monkey]

In the year 2000:

Profesor Xavier will reveal that he is actually apocalypse and has always been. Then he gets killed by wolverine, who is actually a squirrel. :D

[DMike]

Profesor Xavier will reveal that he is actually apocalypse and has always been. Then he gets killed by wolverine, who is actually a squirrel.

Who, as it turns out, is actually Monkey Joe as a part of Squirrel Girl's next quest for world domination.

[jade_nova]

Bendis will starting writing Uncanny X-Men and change the lineup of the team to include Captain America, Wolverine, Spider-Man, and Luke Cage.

Xavier and Magneto get married and turn the mansion into a bed and breakfast.

[Emerald Ghost]

Wolverine finds out he has more than just the one daughter; in fact, he has them in the US, Canada, and Japan. After fighting Apocalpse, Magneto, and the brotherhood all at once, and winning, he is destroyed by the one thing that can touch him: child support.

[Emerald Ghost]

Who, as it turns out, is actually Monkey Joe as a part of Squirrel Girl's next quest for world domination.

Okay I am signing up, I would do anything for Squirrel Girl, even take over the world. :o

Let me go change my sig!!!

[Doom Hammer]

In the year 2000...

The construct B.E.N.015 (Biological Executioner/Nullifier model 315) will begin to write comics. Little by little, he will overtake the industry and form an absolute monoply/inpenetrable fortress. Like the lambs we are, we will become addicted to his sin-laden crack-comics. In order to feel more human, B.E.N.015 will take on the name "Bendis."

In the year 2000...

Baby May Parker will return as the Pink Goblin, a genetically engineered superchild created by Norman Osborn to execute the Stacy/Osborn children. Although his motives remain unclear, it is speculated that Osborn's contradicting plans come from the fact that he is @#$%ing crazy.

The three kids will end up enjoying a nice unplanned playdate, followed by excessive bloodshed.

In the year 2000...

Wolverine's adamantium will gain sentience. After staging an attack on the X-Mansion, Wolverine's skeleton will convince Scott Summers that the safest place for the children is inside Wolverine's stomach. Following the advice, Scott Summers realizes his mistake and an epic battle will occur inside Wolverine's small intestine and esophogus. This will be known as X-Men: Indigestion.

[Gaz]

Who, as it turns out, is actually Monkey Joe as a part of Squirrel Girl's next quest for world domination.
No, no, no. You've got it backwards. SG is a pawn in Monkey Joe's insidious plot to resurrect Sammy and join forces with him in order to take over the world! :evilsmile

[StarsAndGarters]

I predict...

> A danger room in every house.
> Cyclops gets a blood transfusion which unfortuately makes his eye beams incompatible with his tissue, thereby burning off his eyelids.
> Jean and Emma both ditch Cyclops. For each other.
> Beast turns into a blue weasel.
> Jubilee changes her name to Lava Lamp.

[Ant-Man]

I predict...
> Beast turns into a blue weasel.


This has already been done, courtesy of Grant Morrison.

[leg end]

In the year 2000... a mutant will appear whose power is to repeatedly come up with new 'Yo momma' jokes which always win the day and provides a good hearty end laugh rather like the old sitcoms of past.

In the year 2000...no X-fan will be unhappy with the work produced (I know, a long shot)

In the year 2000...a mini-series focussing on the fleas living on Wolverine will be the latest X-title since they're mutant fleas and include wolverine, so the stories are worth showing.

[Fuzzy_Blue_Fetish]

In the year 2000:

Profesor Xavier will reveal that he is actually apocalypse and has always been. Then he gets killed by wolverine, who is actually a squirrel. :D

That would be so, so cool. I would pay good money to see Logan's hair open up like a sunroof, and then see a little squirrel sitting there in a little cockpit with levers and buttons.

*That's* what Weapon X should be about. Squirrels.

-FBF (the squirrel is my friend!)

[o1pickleboy]

All the writers for every comic discover this message board. They stopped thinking on their own and just write what we suggest. Everything goes fine until the civil war of posters. In which the little agruement's turn ugly, and only the lurker's survive. With all the comic writer's out of practice and our absence. All comics are cancelled, save X-men ,Spiderman, Batman, and Superman. When it is discovered that those comics still sell without any writing at all.

[tjarvis]

The Revoltion era was one of the best times for X-men.

We also appear to have a Freudian slip.

In the year 2000, Hank McCoy will leave the X-Men to follow his secret passion. He would late tour the country in Disney's Beauty and the Beast: On Ice.

[Tronrobo]

I'm sad this thread didn't last longer, I love Conan, so I'm gonna throw my own prediction in before it fades off in to oblivion.

In the year 2000:

Wolverines membership on every team and constant appearances in every other marvel book will be explained when it is discovered that he is a series of clones numbered X-1 through X-22 all based off of one man...Peter Parker.

[DDM]

The Phoenix will be remade into the Lemon Egg; the Lemon egg will pulse with sour juice. Anyone who is not burned up by the cosmic lemon juice will become Turkey. The Turkey Effect will consume the Earth for all of the dead turkeys on Thanksgiving & Christmas. The Turkey will run the Hen House. The Turkey Effect will gobble gobble up every star to become an engourged Dark Fried Turkey. Turkey will then die from eating too much food. And it will again become the Lemon Egg.

Beware the fire of the gobble gobble gobble.

[venuscameback]

Is it an American only show?


it's sometimes available through cable channels. I think it used to pop up on ITV2

imagine a nerdy host doing Jonathan Ross' 'chat show' but with Ross having half the show for his own allegedly funny material and you've roughly got it.

I don't think the humour of Conan, Jay Leno et al translates very well this side of the pond


but then I don't rate Jono Woss either, as a humourist or interviewer.


venus

[o1pickleboy]

X-Men In the year 2000.

When they become so popular and so profitible that marvel will change their name to X Comics. To fully incorperate the change Spider Man with be outed as a mutant and join the X-Men.

[1HELLBOY]

HAHA! This thread is awesome. Just like the Cable/Deadpool scene thread and the best of Spidey trash-talk thread over in Spider-Man. Keep it up guys. :D :D

[LoneWolf21]

In The year 2000....


....The Scarlet Witch will restore the mutant population to what it once was when she is bribed with Hostess Fruit Pies.

In the year 2000....

....The Third Summers brother will finally be revealed as yes, you guessed it, Frank Stallone.

[Hippy-san]

In the year 2000, Stacy X will return to Uncanny X, and it will be revealed that she was playing the role of Jean in every apparent appearance of little 'ol Jeannie since the beginning of X.


Also, NYX will come back on a monthly basis with no delays. :o

[Steven F.]

This thread is great...I am glad people are getting it. Hahaha. That was always a funny skit on Conan.....especially after 2000.

[Rachel Grey]

In the year 2000 Cyclops will cheat on Emma Frost....

....with Jubilee!

[Chip Whitley]

In the year 2000...

Iceman will regain his original 'snowman' look. He leaves the X-Men and goes on to star as the new 'Frosty' in a number of lucrative holiday specials.

[Kirayoshi]

In the year 2000...

Bill O'Reilly will join forces with Reverend Stryker in his war against the X-Men, not because they're mutants, but because they're part of the liberal conspiracy to destroy Christmas. While sympathetic to O'Reilly's concerns, Scott Summers will refuse to start calling the team the Christ-Man.


"I'm-a gonna go to Hell when I die, uh-uh-uh-uh---"

[Rachel Grey]

In the year 2000...

Bill O'Reilly will join forces with Reverend Stryker in his war against the X-Men, not because they're mutants, but because they're part of the liberal conspiracy to destroy Christmas. While sympathetic to O'Reilly's concerns, Scott Summers will refuse to start calling the team the Christ-Man.


"I'm-a gonna go to Hell when I die, uh-uh-uh-uh---"

Cable: Pulls out a pair of huge guns. I got your Christ-Man right here!