MERGE: A Letter From Blue Beetle

[Gauss]

Right here. (http://buzzscope.com/features.php?id=936) For satire, I thought this was actually pretty touching. :)

[Hulkamaniac]

that was good, totally would love to see that happen, but it wont :(

[neil kleid]

http://www.buzzscope.com/features.php?id=936

"Dear Joe...I think I'm getting the axe. "

"All I'm asking for is a chance to do something different. I've had it with everything being so serious at 1700 Broadway. It's IDENTITY CRISIS this and IDENTITY CRISIS that. IDENTITY CRISIS ALL STARS and IDENTITY CRISIS ADVENTURES- enough! Just because OZ milked rape for six seasons doesn't mean we've got to stop telling stories about giant robotic Nazis. "

Join me at Buzzscope for the debut of my new column, TAKE THAT, RATZIS! in which I offer an, ah... unique... take on the ins, outs, backs and forths of the comic book industry. This week, I intercept an old email to Marvel's editor-in-chief from someone who's been making headlines these days...

The enemy never sleeps. Neither does the comics industry. Let's get some licks in.

TAKE THAT, RATZIS!, a monthly humor column by Neil Kleid at Buzzscope.com

[neil kleid]

whoops! didnt see this before i posted my link.

thanks for reading... poor, poor Ted Kord.

[lonewolf23k]

BRAVO! BRAVO!!

Delightful!

I especially loved the line: 'Don't you miss the days when all you needed to do to stop Lex Luthor from obliterating the planet was to toss him a Hostess Fruit Pie? Who took the "fun" out of "funny books"?'

[neil kleid]

Man, i could use a fruit pie RIGHT NOW.

[Mainline]

Nicely written, thanks for sharing.

[amphetamine]

Don't you miss the days when all you needed to do to stop Lex Luthor from obliterating the planet was to toss him a Hostess Fruit Pie?

I think that's my newest away message, yo.

Thanks for linking that. I could use a new humor column.

[neil kleid]

My pleasure - keep your eyes open for more!

[neil kleid]

Hey, my pleasure!

[Master Darque]

That WAS great !
What makes it sad to me is ...within the last 2 minutes , I lost the bidding war on a 1967 Blue Beetle #1 with BB's origin and Ditko's question . Dammit .

[neil kleid]

i HAVE that.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

I rock.

[Master Darque]

As long as you aren't the &%(&^$^&&)$^##$#$#)*(& that beat me outta it .... :mad:
Btw pal .... where do you live , exactly ? ;)

[Typo Lad]

Psst...Neil... Quesada didn't draw The Comet, Tom Lyle did.

[neil kleid]

As long as you aren't the &%(&^$^&&)$^##$#$#)*(& that beat me outta it .... :mad:
Btw pal .... where do you live , exactly ? ;)

New York!

Come find me!

[neil kleid]

Psst...Neil... Quesada didn't draw The Comet, Tom Lyle did.


Well, then somebody tell Tom Lyle that Blue Beetle needs a job!

(no, no... good call. man, i could swear Quesada did the Comet. Or maybe it was a big company event that featured the Comet...?)

[Master Darque]

I know Quesada did the Ray .....

[Typo Lad]

Well, then somebody tell Tom Lyle that Blue Beetle needs a job!

Hell, someone needs to get Tom Lyle a job, while they're at it.

(no, no... good call. man, i could swear Quesada did the Comet. Or maybe it was a big company event that featured the Comet...?)

Maybe. There was a short lived Crusaders series, that could be it. Oh, and Crucible.

Yup, Crucible was drawn by Quesada.

As an aside, hey... how about Kitty Pryde's Pesach Seder? Or Justice's.

Justice's must be interesting. You figure he doesn't go to him mom's, what with having killed his dad and all.

[neil kleid]

[Maybe. There was a short lived Crusaders series, that could be it. Oh, and Crucible.Yup, Crucible was drawn by Quesada.]

THAT'S IT.

[As an aside, hey... how about Kitty Pryde's Pesach Seder? Or Justice's.

Justice's must be interesting. You figure he doesn't go to him mom's, what with having killed his dad and all.]


I've already got ideas for the next two columns.... and besides. No one cares about Pesach. Even me, and I'm Jewish.

But Justice's seders sound better than mine. At least he doesnt get pressured into getting married every two seconds.

[Typo Lad]

I've already got ideas for the next two columns.... and besides. No one cares about Pesach. Even me, and I'm Jewish.

Sniff.

I care, darnit.

I'm telling ALL your former NCSY advisors that you said that, by the way.

But Justice's seders sound better than mine. At least he doesnt get pressured into getting married every two seconds.

Ahhh. I'm so glad to be free from that.

[Argonaut]

Thanks, I needed that.

[Forsaken_One]

*sniff* I liked popcultureshock. Stupid name changes...

[Thondred]

Give me a break! I think it was Joe Q, more than anyone else that took the fun out of comics. Think about it, the first thing he did at Marvel was the Marvel Knights line. Dark, gritty, and ultimately crappy versions of the regular MU. Then after taking over as EIC (no, I am not a fan of his) the story arcs started getting longer, with less and less action. Heroes started through the deconstruction phase. Gone went many of the costumes. Soon, you would be lucky to actually see Daredevil or the Hulk in their own comics!

I think that if poor Ted Kord really did defect over to Marvel, he would likely be turned into some kind of doped out, methaemphetamyn junkie that dabbles in child porn. And the only trace of the Blue Beetle costume we see would likely be from a drug-induced flashback, or a postcard sent from Boostergold that just happens to be in a rehab clinic!

[outlander78]

That was a fun read - thanks for posting it.

[jetter_cheeze]

Gotta love good satire.

[chanzero]

Hell, someone needs to get Tom Lyle a job, while they're at it.

tom lyle is doing the art on a great little book called Chickasaw Adventures:
http://www.buzzscope.com/view.php?id=926&p=chickasaw1_1.jpg

we covered the book in buzzscope's Color Commentary feature:
http://www.buzzscope.com/features.php?id=926

The solicitation for this book says something like, "Readers of all ages will be turning the pages following the adventures of Johnny, a modern young Chickasaw boy, as he travels through time learning about the history of his ancestors." And incredibly enough, I was genuinely drawn into this book. Mind you, this is coming from a guy who says Indian instead of Native American, and who you'll probably never catch watching the History Channel let alone reading any educational/historical books (illustrated or otherwise). Still, I read this book from cover to cover and I'm interested in reading the next issue too. Congratulations to everybody involved with this book for putting together a product that beats a lot of regular comics in multiple area's -- from the art (by Tom Lyle) and coloring all the way down to the paper stock.

[tricksterpup]

That was just beautiful. *sniff*

[Puffy Treat]

The !mpact Comics mini-series Crucible was not drawn by Quesada. He only did the covers.

[Paul Newell]

Joe Quesada only did the first two covers and the layouts for the first four issues of Crucible. Rags Morales and Chuck Wojtkiewicz did the Crusaders series.

[Paradox]

Fruit pies are fun, but THIS was my favorite line!

How about the classic Byrne Supermans before John went all Howard Hughes and started saving his pee and copies of LAB RATS in hermetically sealed mylar sleeves? :D

[Obscure Heroism]

Very smart. Very nicely written.
I would say comic genius, but...I won't.
Very funny though. I could always use a good laugh.

[neil kleid]

Very smart. Very nicely written.
I would say comic genius, but...I won't.
Very funny though. I could always use a good laugh.
Oh, come on... you can say it.

YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

Thanks, everyone, for the kind words.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Yep I laughed , I cried and I grabbed me a hostess food pie. Nicely well written.



I download the Job Interview that Ted Kord had with Marvel and Joe Quesada.


Ted Kord : Hey , thanks for seeing me today. Look I suppose ya know why I'm here .

Joe Quesada : Yes . I know you were pretty much killed and fired by DC In DC Countdown. So you want a job ?

Ted Kord : Hell yes ! I'm still a good charactor. I've been around since 1968. Hell , Guy Gardner Isn't even as old as me and at DC , he's looked at as some kinda god.

Joe Quesada : I thought he was supposed to be John Wayne .

Ted Kord: That didn't last long. He was killed and fired awhile til someone decided that John Wayne died In 1979 and odds are no kids from the 80's had ever heard of him. So Guy was changed back.

Joe Quesada : So what kinda job you want at " mighty " Marvel ?

Ted Kord: I could see myself as an Avenger. Written by Bendis. All the kids will love me ! I'd be cool and hip In this day & age.

Joe Quesada : ( Hmmm rubs chin ) How about Dan Slott ? A part In She-Hulk ?

Ted Kord : Dan , who ? Isn't She-Hulk cancelled anyhow ?

Joe Quesada : Fiona Avery Is also another fine writer. I could see you In Arana .

Ted Kord : Who Is that ? And why would I want to be In the lowest selling Marvel book each month. Did ya see my numbers on DC Countdown ? I sell big baby !

Joe Quesada : Theres always Chuck Austen .

Ted Kord : Whoa , whoa whoa ! Hold the phone. Isn't he the guy who writes all his charactors having sex ? I have a heart condition to think about here. I can handle fighting Doomsday but me nailing Paige Guthrie ? My pacer may explode at some point.