Classic Comic Classified Ads

[InfoBroker]

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WANTED Comic Book Spinner Racks.
Must be well oiled. It's the only way I can read my comic
collection. Contact: The Human Top c/o Janet V. Dyne,
Avengers Mansion, NYC
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FOR SALE Large assortment of slightly damaged sunglasses.
CHEAP! Call School for Gifted Children. Ask for Scott
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SEAMSTRESS NEEDED to repair purple pants. Must work
fast and willing to travel. Can be reached at unspecified locations
in southwest desserts of USA.
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FOUND Small Red Cube. I can't for the life of me figure out
what it does. Owner can contact me by dropping note down any
deep hole. One of my minions will find and deliver to me. Mole Man
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WANTED Simonizing cream. Must work well on silver. Will
provide surfing lessons in trade. Met at beach early tomorrow. SS
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WANTED! PLASTIC SURGEON Must be good with noses.
Mark Evanier and Steve Sherman need not apply. M. Miracle
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JOB OPPORTUNITYfor an Information Broker. Old one sent
to funny farm. Knowledge of comic books required. Love for the
silver-age preferred. References required. :cool:
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[InfoBroker]

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FOR SALE Cindered remains of Strange Tales #114. Makes
great fertilizer due to high potash content. Contact Moderator
of this forum.
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FOUND Soggy stack of Aquaman comics. Owner must
identify issues numbers to claim. No Namor I will not share the
reward with you. Dial Atlantis-539, ask for Attuma
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TINY PEOPLE CONVENTION this weekend at Ivytown Convention
Center. No one over 5cm will be admitted. Unless you use two
gas cylinders this means you Mr. Pym. Jan is welcome anytime,
any size.
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WANTED More Classic Comic CLASSIFIED ADS! Any
subject matter, as long as it pertains to theme and content of
this forum. This thread doesn't want to fade prematurely to the
seldom scanned sections of this forum. Please help me stay on
page one for at least 24 hours.
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[Sir Tim Drake]

WANTED Nothing. Doom has all he requires.

WANTED Six-letter words beginning with K and ending in A. $1000 reward if you can remember the one I'm thinking of. Contact M. Moran, Charing Cross, London.

FOR SALE Bricks, perfect for throwing at certain felines. Contact K. Kelly, Coconino Cty., Arizona.

[InfoBroker]

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TO THE ATTENTION OF K. KELLY Find a better mouse trap. I
won't be lured in that easily. Iggie
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TO THE ATTENTION OF THE DOOM GUY WHO HAS EVERYTHING
Please reveal formula for Anti-life equation. DS
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[Sir Tim Drake]

WANTED Present whereabouts of the following people (list omitted). Reward offered. Contact H. Hellpop, Ylum.

WANTED Cheese dip and/or the locations of frays. Contact Groo, but only in person, as Groo cannot read. You may find Groo by following the trail of destruction.

GAIN SUPERHUMAN POWERS in exchange for suffering certain death within one year or less. Contact Dr. K. Tuolema, Morituri Institute.

NOW HIRING clerks, accountants and traveling companions. Starting salary of $0.30/hour. No breaks, vacation time or health benefits. Send SASE to S. McDuck, The Money Bin, Duckburg, Calisota.

WANTED Private detective to figure out why weird and dangerous things keep happening to our four children. Contact J. and M. Power, New York City.

[Lone Ranger]

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WANTED Erasers.
All shapes and sizes required. Must be able to erase pencils lines
to increase inking efficiency. Contact: V. Colletta c/o Marvel Comics
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FOR SALE Costumes.
Various styles for different moods. Many have 'W' monogram.
Wife has changed her mind (again!). Contact: H. Pym
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Found Slightly used Spider-Man Costume.
Discarded in Midtown Manhattan garbage can July, 1967.
If it belongs to you, please contact I. Forbush c/o Marvel Comics.
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For Sale Novelty Arrows.
Two quivers worth of novelty arrows, including Boxing Glove Arrow,
Fishing net Arrow and Molasses Arrow. $50 obo. Contact: O. Queen.
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[yonoid]

FOR SALE
Ultra rare comic book! Turok #1 (1993)! You won't be able to find this baby anywhere else! - Jim Shooter
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ALWAYS HIRING
Looking for artists to draw our work! - Writers in the Art Forum

[Mike Kuypers]

GIANT CAVE SALE! Butler tired of dusting my trophies. Souvenirs include Giant Penny! Giant Joker Playing Card! Giant T Rex Robot (needs a mainspring or something)! Bat Poles (good for firehouse or stripper club)! Car with giant fin and room in rear for crime lab (not included)! Scalloped Capes (sizes long, longer, and sleeps-a-family-of-four)! Best offer takes all! Call 555-BATS, ask for Alfred.
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FOR SALE: Amnesium. Call... Never mind.
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[Sir Tim Drake]

FOR SALE Diamonds, gold, and jewels. Me pay you to take them. Do not contact Bizarro #1, Bizarro World.

[Mike Kuypers]

RETRO CHIC! Have large collection of pillbox hats, white gloves and Cuban heels for sale. Contact LL c/o PO Box 1959

[Sir Tim Drake]

FOR SALE 20 parcels of real estate containing nothing but abandoned warehouses. Perfect for supervillain hideouts, or as a backdrop for fights in which lots of property is destroyed but no one gets killed.

WANTED A catchy band name. "Missiles of October" not good enough. Contact H. Glass and T. Downe, Huerta, CA.

[Sir Tim Drake]

WANTED A single ring, the least of rings. Contact S., c/o the Barad-dur.
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HERALD WANTED Must be brave, intelligent, enthusiastic, and not squeamish about destroying entire populated planets. Send resume and cover letter to G.

[InfoBroker]

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TO THE ATTENTION of Mr. O. Queen About those
novelty arrows. Best I can do is $39.45 and an autographed
photograph of Crackerjack. Will only offer $30 if you don't take
the photo. Contact Quarrel, c/o Honor Guard HQ, Astro City USA
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TO THE ATTENTION OF H. PYM Hey big guy! How many times
have I told you to stay out of my side of the closet?!!
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FIRESALE Various pieces of furniture, fancy scientific gear
and other brick-a-brack. Only a few pieces are shinged, most have
minor ash burns and faded colors. Definitely came from a
NON-smoke-free headquarters. Sales starts Saturday at main
entrance to Baxter Building.
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WANTED Slinky Toys and party favors. Zac is holding out
on me again. Roscoe Tanner
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[InfoBroker]

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LOST Four Turtles in Hell's Kitchen area of New York. I
think they might have fallen down sewer vent during heavy
rainstorm. REWARD OFFERED
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WANTED Heavy duty starch for ironing capes. People keep
tugging on mine, leaving nasty wrinkles. The Man of Steel
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[InfoBroker]

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WANTED Talcum powder in bulk quantities. Contact Carter
Slade at the school house in the village.
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WANTED Maps of surrounding area. Will pay in coin of the
village (different village). #6
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LOST Definition of NM. Last seen somewhere near Brave
and Bold Comics #1 and a coffee stained (IS NOT!) Wonder-woman.
Money no object.
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