Do geeks actually get more enjoyment out of life than "average" people do?

[Buried Alien]

Those of us who've been called "geeks" before are often so-called in a disparaging manner. The implication, of course, is that "geeks" have no lives outside of their hobbies (be it comics, movies, TV series, gaming, etc.), and are missing out on the wonderful social lives that "average" people have.

Looking at it objectively, however, can anybody really say that "geeks" don't enjoy their lives more than "average" people do?

Most "geeks" I know are happy: their hobbies stimulate them intellectually and, within the circle of people who share the hobby, socially. On the other hand, many "average" people I know are rather miserable...stuck in hopeless ruts in their social lives.

So really: is being a geek as bad as it's said to be? Doesn't seem like it.


Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Donald M.]

From what I can tell, most people's idea of a social life involves hanging out in packed bars and loud, obnoxious dance clubs and drinking themselves into an unintelligible stupor.

I'll keep my hobbies, thanks.

[Jayna]

From what I can tell, most people's idea of a social life involves hanging out in packed bars and loud, obnoxious dance clubs and drinking themselves into an unintelligible stupor.

I'll keep my hobbies, thanks.


I could not have put it better myself!

[The Joker]

From what I can tell, most people's idea of a social life involves hanging out in packed bars and loud, obnoxious dance clubs and drinking themselves into an unintelligible stupor.

I'll keep my hobbies, thanks.

Great post! And I agree completely.

Actually, my GF and I are self professed Geeks. We enjoy our (sometimes geeky comic book convos) conversations, and can be described as laid back people. We like our hobbies. We dont like drinking. And if we go to a club, we are usually thinking the same thing about an hour later.

"You ready? Lets go." :cool:

[cable guy]

I've been on both sides of the fence.

I prefer life now. Comics, gaming, Star Wars fan, etc.

[Deathstroke]

I'll stay as a geek if it means I can avoid being a drunken sot.

[Shellhead]

From what I can tell, most people's idea of a social life involves hanging out in packed bars and loud, obnoxious dance clubs and drinking themselves into an unintelligible stupor.

I'll keep my hobbies, thanks.

When those people get older, they keep drinking. A lot of different activities seem to involve alcohol. Let's go to the lake means let's get drunk on a boat. Let's go snow-mobiling means let's do some drunk-driving on snowmobiles. Let's go to the barbeque means let's get drunk in somebody's backyard. It's all very tedious.

[Rallura]

As a geek, I find I have more freedom then a normal person, as I can both enjoy my hobbies, and sit in a packed bar drinking myself into a stupor.

[Sir Tim Drake]

I agree with Rally. If the two principal joys in life are geeky hobbies and drinking, then we enjoy life much more than "normal" people, because we can do both!

[Gordon Smith]

From what I can tell, most people's idea of a social life involves hanging out in packed bars and loud, obnoxious dance clubs and drinking themselves into an unintelligible stupor.



And gambling. Don't forget the gambling.

[Ayo]

Most people are so wrapped up in their own interests that they cannot comprehend how anyone can truly be happy if those people do not partake in the same interests.

See: religion, politics, social/class relations, hobbies, etc.

[Cody H]

As a geek, I find I have more freedom then a normal person, as I can both enjoy my hobbies, and sit in a packed bar drinking myself into a stupor.I agree. There's no reson the two cannot co-exist; I greatly enjoy reading comics books, but at the same time I greatly enjoy socializing with friends (which does usually involve some degree of getting sloshed). I believe the myth is that being a geek somehow impedes ones' ability to socialize.

That said, I think geeks are much more likely to enjoy a variety of things in life whereas others with more limited interests are disadvantaged as they enjoy a more narrow range of things in life. Bottom line here is that I think variety is the key and we geeks are in a better position to enjoy a variety of things in life.

[Mike Smash!]

My tastes certainly go beyond the "Geeky" stuff, and I love conversations about politics, religion..etc.

But I've found that a large cross section of so-called "normal" people don't seem to have hobbies at all. They'll openly deride our hobbies, but then when you ask what they like to do for fun, they say, "I dunno...hang out and stuff".

It was only after I graduated from High School that I realized the "cool kids" most just used to hang out in parking lots and smoke.

God, that sounds boring.

[JeffreyWKramer]

I don't drink. I'm not fond of bars. Yet, I am virtually never bored. I always have things I want to do - the problem is finding time to do it, and balancing in all the fun stuff with stuff that needs to be done.

[Jonathan Bogart]

Having thought about this a lot recently, I'm thinking the "geek"/"normal" dichotomy is unwarranted. Or rather, the nominative "geek" needs to be repostulated as: someone who takes a greater-than-average level of interest in something. Sure, anyone who has interests will be happier than those with no interests beyond getting paid and getting laid (though I have to wonder how many of those people there actually are); but the specific interests of sci-fi/fantasy/comics/gaming/etc fans are no more likely to give happiness than the interests of, say, crossword-puzzle fans, or cinéastes, or Restoration drama buffs, or theoretical-mathematics hobbyists, or even those who find meaning in the migratory patterns of celebrities.

I'm an avowed geek, but I tend to geek out over comic strips from the 1920's, or obscure 1960's pop bands, or 1930's screwball comedies (both prose and film) just as much as over, say, Crisis on Infinite Earths.

In this sense, sure, the geek world is much more varied and full of interest than the world of those who have no interests outside of themselves... but again, do those people exist? I haven't really met any. Everyone who seems at first glance like a "normal" has some area of geekhood, whether it's computer systems, or military technology, or a specific band they love, or gourmet cooking.

And, of course, I know plenty of miserable geeks.

[Nightcrawler]

I would bet that 'geeks' have a far greater than the average person, making them less bored.

[iwarrior]

From what I can tell, most people's idea of a social life involves hanging out in packed bars and loud, obnoxious dance clubs and drinking themselves into an unintelligible stupor.



Amen,thank you. Now you know why I don't go out much.

[Dreadstar]

I've been known to drink myself into a stupor, but I don't drink myself into an unintelligible stupor.

I think it's because I'm unintelligible to begin with.

[i_mmmchocolate]

I couldn't imagine living without my hobbies- Since I was 7, I collected stuff.

I don't think I get more enjoyment out of life than an "average" person. Most of my hobbies are indoor activities. Some folks who are into outdoor recreation may think they get more enjoyment out of their activities than I do with my indoor hobbies.

Ultimately, if you feel satisfied with your life, that's what matters.

[Sanagi]

There is no average person. There is no average geek either. Everyone is happy some of the time and miserable some of the time.

And heaven... heaven is a place... where nothing... nothing ever happens...

[dougiemccoy]

I don't drink. I'm not fond of bars. Yet, I am virtually never bored. I always have things I want to do - the problem is finding time to do it, and balancing in all the fun stuff with stuff that needs to be done.


I guess i should say i never go to bars since i had 3 beers last night and dance a few dances. but that was the first time i even tasted a beer in more than two years ( it tasted yukkie) but i had fun so if i had chance to this more than every two years yeah i would.

But i would have to in the I'm never bored and not having enough time, Fact is the only time i bored is when i'm at the lame day job so if i could just figured out how to make a living with work

[Fabian]

You forgot the sex. The cool kids have sex.

Everything else said is accurate. Has anyone mentioned drug use yet?

[Mike Smash!]

You forgot the sex. The cool kids have sex.

Everything else said is accurate. Has anyone mentioned drug use yet?*sigh*

Yeah, there is that... Nothing that a dealer and a cute geeky girl can't compensate for.

[Fabian]

*sigh*

Yeah, there is that... Nothing that a dealer and a cute geeky girl can't compensate for.
As much as I love Koop and the cute girls that come to his booth while I'm there, it's still not sex

But if i can find a way to bring in comics ot the bedroom and not freak someone out, I will share my findings with everyone else and be the diplomat who brings peace between the geeks and the cool kids

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

I have me hobbies, and I have a life away from them.

I also managed to combine my love of films with my work.

I also like to drink and drug and make sex.

Yeah, there is that... Nothing that a dealer and a cute geeky girl can't compensate for.

I don't normally go geeky girls though*.

Spread the love I say.

*not that I wouldn't, I just don't.

[Fabian]

There you go, Funky takes the Southern Hemisphere and I take the northern hemisphere and all will be saved and everyone would have just as much fun thanks to our combined efforts

[Grant]

I think BA has a point. Generally the only time people see me enthusiatic about anything is when I talk about stuff I'm geeked about. It's almost infectious. Like I'll go see Spider-man or Lord of the Rings with some non geek friends and they get geeked out just being around me. I have one friend who doesn't read comics who keeps calling me to see any movie that's based on a comic.

[Adem]

I wouldn't like to think of myself as that much of a geek because I have a active social life for a 16. I personally don't see the fun in going out to a club and getting drunk like some of my underage chums do, but I'm not going to insult or bash anyone who likes that. I'm happy sitting in my computer chair making my Captain America action figure fight to the death my Enzo Matrix action figure. If that makes me a geek, which it probably does, then I'm proud to be a geek. :D

[Fabian]

I have a different theory in that everyone has something they're a geek about, be it music, sports or comics and that if there's a good amount of the population who geek about it too, it's suddenly not geeky anymore

[Grant]

From what I can tell, most people's idea of a social life involves hanging out in packed bars and loud, obnoxious dance clubs and drinking themselves into an unintelligible stupor.

Hey now that can be fun too. In moderation...

[Atomlad]

I've come to find that most of the people I work with (all men), are more into sports than anything else. The ones that are aren't into sports are usually military history buffs, or sci fi/comic 'geeks' for the most part. The problem I think comes in when you start to discuss other subjects, and a great many of the 'sports guys' can't have an intelligent discussion on any other subject.

It just seems that the so-called 'geeks' are more well rounded; your chances of having someone take issue with your stance on the Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act goes up exponentially in that group.

Really the only thing that irks me is that I can't get anyone into gaming at all. I have a huge stack of old Avalon Hill type games collecting dust on a bookshelf, and I would to love try out a role-playing game like Champions, but the mere mention of non-computer gaming seems to send out the 'super-geek' signal to people. All they want to do is drink, or play poker, since that is cool and trendy right now.

[Fabian]

Really the only thing that irks me is that I can't get anyone into gaming at all. I have a huge stack of old Avalon Hill type games collecting dust on a bookshelf, and I would to love try out a role-playing game like Champions, but the mere mention of non-computer gaming seems to send out the 'super-geek' signal to people. All they want to do is drink, or play poker, since that is cool and trendy right now.
the thing with gaming is that most people don't have the time to fully immerse themselves in them.

[iwarrior]

My hobbies make me happy and keep me from losing my mind.

I remember my college advisor praising me for having interests in things. She told me that most of the kids she talked to were just interested in partying,watching tv,going shopping,loafing,etc. You'd be surprised at how many people don't have hobbies. None of the chicks I saw on Yahoo Personals seemed to have any. People aren't passionate about things anymore.

Most of the guys I work with can't understand why I'm so into metal,comics,and pro wrestling. All they do in their spare time is drink,gamble,watch sports,smoke weed,and hit strip joints. But they "have a life"?

Most of them don't know who our VP is. But they can tell you exactly how many yards Jerome Bettis ran last season. And God Forbid ya 'aint following March Madness. They quiz ya on it.

You know where my boss goes right after work? Does he go home,no? He walks or has someone drop him off at a nearby bar. He stays there until 2am and then goes home.

I think you can get too caught up in your hobbies though. If you're forgoing bathing and stuff for D&D(which I used to play,got bored with it),then you have a problem.

I've hung with "geeky" people and people who were "cool". The geeks can be weird,don't get me wrong,and I haven't always liked being around people like that,but at least they're interesting. So-called "cool" people have largely been empty-headed and boring based on my experiences. Try having a conversation with one of them about something other than who you want to lay.

[Captain_Video]

It seems to me that it is all entirely relative, some geeks have a good old time, others dont, I do see a divide though in people who really immerse themselves in their interests and passions and those who do not, the conversation aspect for instance.

I enjoy a happy marriage of both being a shameless geek and going out on the weekend after a crushing nine to five slog and getting drunk on whiskey, it gets to the point where you do not have time for boredom, which is good, means the rot doesnt set in.

But then everyone is a geek, you just have to hit upon the thing that they love, I have yet to meet someone who is a robotic person with no interests.

I will say though, that a major apathy is sweeping the world at the moment, that is making people not care enough to be truely passionate about things, I believe it to be related to "cool" or something like that, but that is a whole other senseless ramble.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

I think debating "geek" as a hobby over sports as a hobby is a little off.

But saying wathcing sport is better than being a geek is as well.

A lot of geeks have said they are happy being geeks here.....

Well, Obviously......

Why would you be one otherwise?????

[Nightcrawler]

I would consider collecting comics as a hobby rather than playing a sport.

[iwarrior]

The nightlife can be dangerous too. My dad was a limo driver for years,and he's told me lots of stories. He was also a big barroom brawler in his 20's. The things he's told me haven't made me eager to go bar-hopping or clubbing. Plus I spent a summer working at a nightclub. It 'aint all its cracked up to be. I've also been told by a lot of people who are into the nightlife that it gets old after a little while.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

It 'aint all its cracked up to be. I've also been told by a lot of people who are into the nightlife that it gets old after a little while.

So do comics as the centre of your life.

[Alex]

I think debating "geek" as a hobby over sports as a hobby is a little off.

But saying wathcing sport is better than being a geek is as well.

A lot of geeks have said they are happy being geeks here.....

Well, Obviously......

Why would you be one otherwise?????
But, i read comics AND watch sports.
And im as into football as i am xmen.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

But, i read comics AND watch sports.
And im as into football as i am xmen.

and it makes you happy.

I was just pointing out the oddness of people making a big statement saying "BEING A GEEK MAKES ME HAPPY"..... as it's more a lifestyle choice than somthing forced onto you, I figured all geeks were happy.

These guys are acting like they expect shock or rounds of applause.

[iwarrior]

So do comics as the centre of your life.


But they aren't in my case. You'd be surprised how behind in my reading I get. And I'm nowhere near as encyclopedic as many of the people here are.

[Alex]

and it makes you happy.

I was just pointing out the oddness of people making a big statement saying "BEING A GEEK MAKES ME HAPPY"..... as it's more a lifestyle choice than somthing forced onto you, I figured all geeks were happy.

These guys are acting like they expect shock or rounds of applause.
Being me makes me happy, reading comics and watching football makes me entertained.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

But they aren't in my case. You'd be surprised how behind in my reading I get. And I'm nowhere near as encyclopedic as many of the people here are.

Bully for you.

Just saying that I got tired of being right into comics as well.

I'll read em, but I also read books, watch films and listen to music.

And, I go out a lot, but I prefer bars to clubs, though clubs are all right every once in a while.

The one or the other thing is just particuarly stupid.

Each to his own, but some people are.... proud? that they like star trek better than drinking.
Can't understand that.

[Alex]

Bully for you.

Just saying that I got tired of being right into comics as well.

I'll read em, but I also read books, watch films and listen to music.

And, I go out a lot, but I prefer bars to clubs, though clubs are all right every once in a while.

The one or the other thing is just particuarly stupid.

Each to his own, but some people are.... proud? that they like star trek better than drinking.
Can't understand that.
I might like star trek while drinking.....haven't tried, have problems watching it.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

I might like star trek while drinking.....haven't tried, have problems watching it.

I got drunk with a girlfriend and watched it once.

We ended up having sex during in it.

I think it was the wine and not the shatner that triggered it.

but I got in trouble for knowing what had happened.

[iwarrior]

Bully for you.

Just saying that I got tired of being right into comics as well.

I'll read em, but I also read books, watch films and listen to music.

And, I go out a lot, but I prefer bars to clubs, though clubs are all right every once in a while.

The one or the other thing is just particuarly stupid.

Each to his own, but some people are.... proud? that they like star trek better than drinking.
Can't understand that.


I listen to a lot of music. In fact,I listen to music more than I read nowadays. I don't watch many movies or tv shows anymore though.

[hugh45]

I've come to find that most of the people I work with (all men), are more into sports than anything else. The ones that are aren't into sports are usually military history buffs, or sci fi/comic 'geeks' for the most part. The problem I think comes in when you start to discuss other subjects, and a great many of the 'sports guys' can't have an intelligent discussion on any other subject.

It just seems that the so-called 'geeks' are more well rounded; your chances of having someone take issue with your stance on the Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act goes up exponentially in that group.

Really the only thing that irks me is that I can't get anyone into gaming at all. I have a huge stack of old Avalon Hill type games collecting dust on a bookshelf, and I would to love try out a role-playing game like Champions, but the mere mention of non-computer gaming seems to send out the 'super-geek' signal to people. All they want to do is drink, or play poker, since that is cool and trendy right now.

I know comic book stores tend to have people playing games at same
place where they sale comic books,have you asked them or maybe
they might direct you to people who like playing the same type of
game that you do?

EDIT: Their's nothing better than being an christian geek! :D

[Grant]

watching football makes me entertained.

watching football on tiny magic box and beer make alex happy

[Grant]

The nightlife can be dangerous too. My dad was a limo driver for years,and he's told me lots of stories. He was also a big barroom brawler in his 20's. The things he's told me haven't made me eager to go bar-hopping or clubbing. Plus I spent a summer working at a nightclub. It 'aint all its cracked up to be. I've also been told by a lot of people who are into the nightlife that it gets old after a little while.

Well everything in moderation. I like to go out with friends and drink. Not everyone who goes to bars gets into brawls and contracts STDs. There's fun conversations, company and karaoke. And Karaoke ain't fun sober.

[cable guy]

I still enjoy meeting friends at a sports bar or pub once in a while to watch a game or hang out.

I just couldn't go out several nights a week anymore, which some of my friends still do.

[Ayo]

Well everything in moderation. I like to go out with friends and drink. Not everyone who goes to bars gets into brawls and contracts STDs. There's fun conversations, company and karaoke. And Karaoke ain't fun sober.

Here, here!

There's more to life than extremes. For most of us, it's not between "straight edge" and "totally wasted." Most of us lie somewhere between the polars.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

I listen to a lot of music. In fact,I listen to music more than I read nowadays. I don't watch many movies or tv shows anymore though.

I'm sure I'd watch tv if they made more decent shows.

Same with "mainstream" American comics.

[Grant]

Here, here!

There's more to life than extremes. For most of us, it's not between "straight edge" and "totally wasted." Most of us lie somewhere between the polars.

You don't even have to drink alcohol to enjoy the night life there's late night coffee shops. Oh and poetry slams. Who doesn't enjoy a good poetry slam?

[Dom]

Man, I love drinking.

[HomerJay]

the mere mention of non-computer gaming seems to send out the 'super-geek' signal to people.

I'm afraid I'm guilty of this to an extent.
I consider myself to be a huge movie geek and a mid-grade comic geek, but I haven't even sampled non-computer gaming. I think a lot of geeks like me see gaming (and in some cases Anime) like a marijuana user sees heroin.

It's like you're all sitting around talking comics (or smoking a bowl) and someone says "Oh yeah, if you like that, check this out..." and pulls out something stronger. A lot of potheads (or comic fans) are happy with their mild drug of choice, but they don't wanna cross that line and be associated with harder stuff (gaming). Maybe the negative stigma that was attached to D&D (and to Trekkies) by "mainstream" society in the 80s has persisted.

...or maybe I'm just talking out of my ass again.

[Indy24LA]

I'm afraid I'm guilty of this to an extent.
I consider myself to be a huge movie geek and a mid-grade comic geek, but I haven't even sampled non-computer gaming. I think a lot of geeks like me see gaming (and in some cases Anime) like a marijuana user sees heroin.

It's like you're all sitting around talking comics (or smoking a bowl) and someone says "Oh yeah, if you like that, check this out..." and pulls out something stronger. A lot of potheads (or comic fans) are happy with their mild drug of choice, but they don't wanna cross that line and be associated with harder stuff (gaming). Maybe the negative stigma that was attached to D&D (and to Trekkies) by "mainstream" society in the 80s has persisted.

...or maybe I'm just talking out of my ass again.
Yeah, I see what you're saying, but sometimes it's fun to watch other people trippin' out (playing) for a little while. They can do some crazy things!

[Tages]

When those people get older, they keep drinking. A lot of different activities seem to involve alcohol. Let's go to the lake means let's get drunk on a boat. Let's go snow-mobiling means let's do some drunk-driving on snowmobiles. Let's go to the barbeque means let's get drunk in somebody's backyard. It's all very tedious.
"We've been coming to the same party for twelve years now, and in no way is that depressing."-Ron Burgundy

[Alex]

watching football on tiny magic box and beer make alex happy
Alex likey beer and box!
AND TWINS!!!!!!!!
No football right now, alex sad.

[howyadoin]

I always love listening to non-drinkers talk about how lonely and boring drinking is.

What's especially funny is how much of that opinion they obviously get from watching television.

[Paradox]

Oh, c'mon, howy. Everyone knows that drinking is just for people sitting in a corner substituting booze for a life! They won't admit that they're lonely and depressed! Now get out there and join the "Grinning Americans" and get out that stamp collection.

Bah...you don't know what "fun" is! ;)

[HomerJay]

I always love listening to non-drinkers talk about how lonely and boring drinking is.

I've posted this before, but...

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink, because when they get up in the morning, that's as good as they're gonna feel for the rest of the day."
- Frank Sinatra

[Asmith]

This post below pretty much sums up why I dislike the whole: "I'm a geek and somehow that makes me better and means I'm having more fun than all those people over there laughing and not liking it much when I join in" type positions some people take.

It's not that I dislike that these people are happy - yay! you go geek! (See, I'm 'pro-happy geek') It's that they can only justify there own happiness by trying to tear down the enjoyment of others. Being a geek = Good. Being a socially adjusted person = Too stupid to know what they're missing out on.

Let's have a closer look at the post, selected at random, below:

My hobbies make me happy and keep me from losing my mind.

Hey that's great! But a hobby is usually considered a distraction of interest that a person likes to pursue in their spare time. If it's stopping you from "losing [your] mind" then that's more of an emotional dependency rather than a hobby. And you may have invested too much of yourself in to it.

I remember my college advisor praising me for having interests in things. She told me that most of the kids she talked to were just interested in partying,watching tv,going shopping,loafing,etc.

These 'things' the other kids were interested in are actually things (at the very least past-times). Not the kind of 'things' you were interested in, obivoulsy, but still 'things'. What your college advisor may have been doing was desperately scratching around for something positive and nice to say to you. And the best they could come up with was that you weren't like all the other kids that liked to get together and share good times.

But the whole point is, as long as you're happy with yourself what's it matter what everybody else is doing to make themselves happy? Why is what everybody else does so important to deciding if your happy or not?


You'd be surprised at how many people don't have hobbies. None of the chicks I saw on Yahoo Personals seemed to have any. People aren't passionate about things anymore.

Yahoo Personals may not be the very best yard stick to use in trying to figure out if everybody else has hobbies or not. Also it's good to remember that people posting on 'Desperate and Dateless' boards are doing so for a very good reason.

Most of the guys I work with can't understand why I'm so into metal,comics,and pro wrestling.

Well, you might find that they've formed their own baseless conclusions as to why you're SO into metal, comics and pro-wrestling. But they may be finding it difficult to work the question: "So, are you a repressed homosexual?" into friendly workplace chat.


All they do in their spare time is drink,gamble,watch sports,smoke weed,and hit strip joints. But they "have a life"?

Do they 'have a life'? My god, yes they do! And pretty good lives for those people that like to, you know, socialise with other people, build bonds of frienship, meet new people, experience the world around them. Stuff like that.

But why the comparison? So you like listening to violent music while reading comics about men in tights while watching actual men in tights grab and grope at each other. While they like meeting new people and going out on the town for their entertainment. One isn't better than the other. And if people like things you don't, it doesn't negate your personal enjoyment. They have no bearing on one another.

If 1980s television taught us anything, it was that 'the world don't move to the beat of just one drum, what might be right for you, may not be right for some - it takes different strokes to move the world, yes it does, different strokes to move the world!

(1980s tv also taught us to never, just never, to lock the A-Team in a barn filled with all the necessary tractor parts, explosives, pvc piping, sheet metal and oxywelding gear that is required to build an Abrahams tank and not to expect them to escape. But that's not so appropriate to the topic at hand).

Most of them don't know who our VP is. But they can tell you exactly how many yards Jerome Bettis ran last season. And God Forbid ya 'aint following March Madness. They quiz ya on it.

That makes no sense given your earlier statement that 'people aren't passionate about anything anymore'. Sounds to me that the people around you are VERY passionate about things. But just not those subjects that interest you.

While I understand this must make you feel like a misfit, don't blame those around you. You're not their responsibility and they don't have to like what you like. In exactly the same way that you get to like whatever floats your boat and you don't have to join in their mad partying and stuff.

You know where my boss goes right after work? Does he go home,no? He walks or has someone drop him off at a nearby bar. He stays there until 2am and then goes home.

Well that's just sad. It's certainly a sign of an unhappy home life or alcohol dependency (if he's in the bar by himself and not friends). But not a good measure for the rest of humanity. Have you thought about maybe reaching out to this unfortunate man? Helping him? Maybe you could interest him in the world of pro-wresting and reading comics as a substitute to sitting friendlessly by himself at a bar?

I think you can get too caught up in your hobbies though. If you're forgoing bathing and stuff for D&D(which I used to play,got bored with it),then you have a problem.

Yes, personal hygiene, or the lack of it, is a good barometer for so many things.

I've hung with "geeky" people and people who were "cool".

This is just my opinion, of course, but I'm thinking those 'cool' people may not have actually been all that 'cool'. Sometimes seriously 'geeky' people (as you described) mistake personal hygiene for 'coolness'. But there's more to being 'cool' than just owning a bar of soap.

The geeks can be weird,don't get me wrong,and I haven't always liked being around people like that,but at least they're interesting.

Interesting because they share your own interests, you mean.

So-called "cool" people have largely been empty-headed and boring based on my experiences. Try having a conversation with one of them about something other than who you want to lay.

Try having a conversation with a 'geek' where you're trying to explain that you: "really don't give a shit if Greebo shot first, and who the hell is this Greebo person you keep yammering about anyway?"

But once again you've fallen into the mental tar pit, of those who don't give a damn about your interests as being "boring" and "empty-headed". While those that share your interests are, not too surprisingly, "interesting".

If you have to judge how happy you are by not only making up competition in the happiness stakes, but also insulting other people for following their own interests, then you're not really happy at all. Instead you're just sour graping.

In which case, get over it! If your so caught up in other peoples lives that you supposedly see as much less interesting than yours, then you really should think about getting yourself a hobby.

[Typo Lad]

Asmith, I take everything I ever said about you back.

[Shellhead]

I always love listening to non-drinkers talk about how lonely and boring drinking is.

What's especially funny is how much of that opinion they obviously get from watching television.

There are different situations when people drink. Sometimes I come home from a tough day at work, and while I'm cooking dinner, I do a shot of rum. Sometimes (not recently, unfortunately) I go out to a club with friends, and do some drinking, some dancing, some talking and some laughing.

Several years ago, I dated an alcoholic for a couple of months. She was an attractive and friendly young woman. She worked full-time, was saving up to go back to college, and lived with her mother. She was a devoted Catholic. And she was an alcoholic.

On our first date, she had one drink, and then we went to see a movie together. On our second date, she had two drinks and then asked me if I could buy her a Long Island Ice Tea (5 drinks worth of alcohol). I thought she was joking and shared a laugh with her about it. On our third date, she had ten drinks in less than two hours and got falling down drunk. She was incapable of walking without me propping her up, and when I tried to bring her home, she insisted that I take her back to my place instead, so her mother wouldn't see her drunk. Shortly after we arrive, she found my liquor, which was stashed in an unlikely location (because my previous girlfriend had a kid), and started drinking again.

On our fourth date, she took me on a tour of her favorite hangouts. The first one had a free buffet covered by the happy hour cover charge. The second place had a happy hour deal, too. The third place was extremely depressing. With the exception of myself and maybe the bartender, every single person in that place wanted nothing more than to stare like a zombie at the TV while drinking steadily. There was no conversation, no music, no decorations, and even the TV volume was low. I wanted to get her out of there while she could still walk, but then the fifth place was another bar. I couldn't get her to leave without another "one more drink, one more drink" argument, so I left without her.

Serious alcoholic drinking is lonely and boring.

She wasn't mad about being ditched, and still wanted to date. Our fifth date included her best female friend, who helped me keep her from drinking. A few days later, she hit her head on the side of a swimming pool while drunkenly swimming, and then we stopped going out. Six months later, she wanted to start dating again, promising that she was finally sober, but I just didn't believe her. It's possible that she cured herself of her drinking problem without going through a treatment program, but from what her friends had been telling me, it was unlikely.

[red corellian]

1980s tv also taught us to never, just never, to lock the A-Team in a barn filled with all the necessary tractor parts, explosives, pvc piping, sheet metal and oxywelding gear that is required to build an Abrahams tank and not to expect them to escape. But that's not so appropriate to the topic at hand).

A-Team sucked. It's all about the McGyver ;)




Try having a conversation with a 'geek' where you're trying to explain that you: "really don't give a shit if Greebo shot first, and who the hell is this Greebo person you keep yammering about anyway?"



that's GREEDO you dolt! :D .. But yes. Much is to be said about "shutting up when asked too"

Personal feelings: Geek = someone who's *into* something... Nerd = diss :P

[howyadoin]

Serious alcoholic drinking is lonely and boring.Oh, I'm sure serious alcoholics do have lonely, boring lives. The trick is not to paint everyone who drinks - or goes to bars - with the same brush.

Especially when the brush in question is the sneering-nerd brush.

[macul]

You know what is boring about drinking? Being the designated driver and since I don't drink guess who get's stuck with that chore every time my friends and I go out? Know what is even more fun? When people you don't even know assume that just because you are sober, you'll be more than happy to drive them home (or wherever). Even more fun is trying to keep your drunk friend from making a tremendous ass out of himself or starting trouble. yay!

I need to take up drinking just so I can avoid that responsibility.

[red corellian]

Naw, you know what was great about drinking? Seeing my grandfather slowly die from a life of heavy alcohol use just plain rocked.

[Donald M.]

Naw, you know what was great about drinking? Seeing my grandfather slowly die from a life of heavy alcohol use just plain rocked.

But I bet it wasn't as cool as my father stealing from my wallet and occasionally waking up in dumpsters.

[red corellian]

Yeah, see? Not to mention my grandfather's burning at least 3 separate families, you know.

[Ayo]

Well this thread has turned into a barrel of laughs.

[red corellian]

;) This happens around meh.

But seriously, I know you can't lump everyone in the same barrel. At the same time, you have to admit what usually happens after the party-goers turn... 30.

[Dreadstar]

My dad was an alcoholic who was dying of liver cancer before he ran head-on into that tri-axle coal bucket while DUI at 80 mph.

Guess what?

For every one of *him*, I know dozens people who drink socially without having to get blotto.

*sigh* Howy's right. Some people prefer to perpetuate the stereotype rather than note it as the generalization and exception it truly is...

[red corellian]

uh huh. I'm sayin, bother to look past a decade. Wait till they're older, then tell me. I've got... say around a good dozen relatives over 40 who were/are heavy drinkers.

It ain't fun around them *if* they're still alive.

[Dreadstar]

uh huh. I'm sayin, bother to look past a decade. Wait till they're older, then tell me. I've got... say around a good dozen relatives over 40 who were/are heavy drinkers.

It ain't fun around them *if* they're still alive.

Say what?

OK, I cut you some slack, you're new.

How old do you think I am? And the people I hang out with?




Hint:

I turn 50 in 2 years.

[Donald M.]

*sigh* Howy's right. Some people prefer to perpetuate the stereotype rather than note it as the generalization and exception it truly is...

And some people have had experiences that have soured them to the whole culture of drinking. It's not like I go to bars and shout at people, I just don't like to drink or hang around with people when they're doing it.

[Dreadstar]

And some people have had experiences that have soured them to the whole culture of drinking. It's not like I go to bars and shout at people, I just don't like to drink or hang around with people when they're doing it.

And I don't have problem one about that. Kudos.

The generalization and condescension usually rankles, though.

[red corellian]

Say what?

OK, I cut you some slack, you're new.

How old do you think I am? And the people I hang out with?

Hint:

I turn 50 in 2 years.

>.> but.. but.. I like fighting as long as no one's out for blood in the end

Ya know what, great for you. At least where I am, you'd be the extreme oddity. Perhaps it is just some weird anomily here... But.

*edit*
Ok, and I agree that different people have different experiences. And, since I am speaking from experience --mine-- I'm not trying to play into the normal stereotypes. I hate/abhor/wish-death upon stereotypes of any kind. Kindly bear in mind that my experience could just happen to be legitimate, same as yours.

[Dreadstar]

Kindly bear in mind that my experience could just happen to be legitimate, same as yours.

Kindly bear in mind that I didn't try to call your experience illegitimate, either.

Merely the generalization inferred by it.

[red corellian]

>.>

yeah, ok xD... I'm grumpy today -.-'

[Dreadstar]

>.>

yeah, ok xD... I'm grumpy today -.-'
Enh, no big deal.

I had a friend (knew him since kindergarden) who was very anti-alcohol, as well. Grew up in a bad situation regarding his father, same as I did. But we think he went a little off the deep-end, psychologically.

By the time our peers got into the social drinking aspect, he was pretty militant about avoiding it. And very very vocal to the point of rudeness in respect to it. He was an amazingly fun fellow, too. And so freakin' funny, he could tear you up.

But man, you invite him to a BBQ and he shows up and sees so much as a single beer, it was "Hasta la vista!" And then you heard no end of the bitching about inviting him to that "sort" of a party. Kind of the way a lot of people would react if they showed at a party where pot made an appearance these days, you know what I mean? I mean, it was such a phobia-psychosis with him that he couldn't even sit still in a restaurant where they served alcohol.

[Typo Lad]

See, I grew up with a dad who drank. Not like crazy, but on Shabbos and holidays drinks were served between the apitiser and the soup and/or main. It wasn't something that appealed to me, but others enjoy it and I was always around responsable drinkers.

Now, my younger brother, well... he wasn't as repsonable. Aside from having an encylopidic knowledge of wines, Kosher and Non, he was known to play Trivial Pursuit-Shots (get an answer right, take a shot). Since most of his friends were dummies, he was generally drunk by the time most of them were on thier second shot. Still, his life. He grew out of it.

The only time I've ever been frustrated by a drinker was Tot's second birthday party, where my sister-in-law's bf kept asking if we had any beer. He knew we didn't drink for one, and for crying out loud... who serves beer at a two year old's party! What really got us is that after we said "No, sorry" my sister-in-law went into our fridge to check. I almost kicked them out.

Instead my wife pulled her sister aside and explained things and told her that if they went out and got beer, she would disown her.

Non-drinkers should leave driners alone, and drinkers should leave non-drinkers alone... so if a drinker infringes on me, I will infringe back.

[red corellian]

Enh, no big deal.

I had a friend (knew him since kindergarden) who was very anti-alcohol, as well. Grew up in a bad situation regarding his father, same as I did. But we think he went a little off the deep-end, psychologically.

By the time our peers got into the social drinking aspect, he was pretty militant about avoiding it. And very very vocal to the point of rudeness in respect to it. He was an amazingly fun fellow, too. And so freakin' funny, he could tear you up.

But man, you invite him to a BBQ and he shows up and sees so much as a single beer, it was "Hasta la vista!" And then you heard no end of the bitching about inviting him to that "sort" of a party. Kind of the way a lot of people would react if they showed at a party where pot made an appearance these days, you know what I mean? I mean, it was such a phobia-psychosis with him that he couldn't even sit still in a restaurant where they served alcohol.

Ouchies >.<

[howyadoin]

My dad was an alcoholic who was dying of liver cancer before he ran head-on into that tri-axle coal bucket while DUI at 80 mph.

Guess what?

For every one of *him*, I know dozens people who drink socially without having to get blotto.

*sigh* Howy's right. Some people prefer to perpetuate the stereotype rather than note it as the generalization and exception it truly is...And yet, anyone who perpetuates the nerd stereotype around here gets called on it.

[Tages]

I always love listening to non-drinkers talk about how lonely and boring drinking is.
As far as I'm concerned, it is. I've tried it. It's not exciting.

[Alex]

As far as I'm concerned, it is. I've tried it. It's not exciting.
Drinking by itself is not.
Drinking in addition to other things is, depending on what they are.Though i wouldn't say exciting.

[Dom]

Drinking by itself is not.
Drinking in addition to other things is, depending on what they are.Though i wouldn't say exciting.

Drinking with friends when they gang up to beat up an asshole, and realizing that you have officially witnessed "the story" you'll be telling for the next 3 weeks in pretty fun too.

[howyadoin]

As far as I'm concerned, it is. I've tried it. It's not exciting.Well, there ya go. You've tried it and it doesn't work for you.

That's a little better - and a whole lot less knee-jerk judgemental - than some of moronic statements on the first pages of this thread.

[phoenixrising]

I love geek stuff. And I love drinking. And I love being drunk. And I love being drunk and doing geeky things. Is that so odd?

Really, nothing says fun like getting drunk with my real world friends and then getting online with the CBR drunk contigent.

[Alex]

Drinking with friends when they gang up to beat up an asshole, and realizing that you have officially witnessed "the story" you'll be telling for the next 3 weeks in pretty fun too.
I miss those stories.
Ill have to make a new one.
Bonus points if we gang up to beat up a geeky asshole.

[Dom]

I miss those stories.
Ill have to make a new one.
Bonus points if we gang up to beat up a geeky asshole.

OH SHIT!

That's what I'll do. I'll get the crew together and get plastered at a preschool (because we're irresponsible drunks) and then beat up everyone at the local bookstores fantasy section.

[Alex]

OH SHIT!

That's what I'll do. I'll get the crew together and get plastered at a preschool (because we're irresponsible drunks) and then beat up everyone at the local bookstores fantasy section.
"Dude, i got a guy buying a Tolkien Fantasy Encylopedia, thats 12 points!"
"I totaly hit the dude buying a D and D manual, 20 points"
"I got a guy buying a book that analyizes Frodo"
"wow....man...thats like a billion points"

[Dom]

"Dude, i got a guy buying a Tolkien Fantasy Encylopedia, thats 12 points!"
"I totaly hit the dude buying a D and D manual, 20 points"
"I got a guy buying a book that analyizes Frodo"
"wow....man...thats like a billion points"

"I busted the bottle on that guy reading about Halo. +3 Defense!"

"...."

"Oh shit"
"Get him!"

[howyadoin]

I love geek stuff. And I love drinking. And I love being drunk. And I love being drunk and doing geeky things. Is that so odd?Apparently it'll earn you nothing but scorn from people who are afraid of socializing.

But you're okay in my book.

[phoenixrising]

I fail to see how going to bars is some sign that I don't have a fulfilling life. I have a job, I'm in good shape, I have a boy and I have geeky pasttimes......but the fact I also liek to go to bars a few nights a week and hang out with my friends is an automatic sign that I'm just a pathetic "cool kid" wasting her life away?

Oh, and I love to hang around in parking lots and smoke. I guess I suck.

[howyadoin]

the fact I also liek to go to bars a few nights a week and hang out with my friends is an automatic sign that I'm just a pathetic "cool kid" wasting her life away?The thing you have to remember is, only around here would "cool" be seen as an insult.

[Dom]

Oh, and I love to hang around in parking lots and smoke. I guess I suck.

Why parking lots?

[phoenixrising]

Why parking lots?

Cause they're convienently located outside of bars. And my place of employment. And my apartment. And many shopping establishments. It's wonderful.

[Taltos]

I like to...
read comicbooks
read novels
watch T.V. (Ultimat Fighter, Raw, Smallville)
wrestle (high school)
fool around with girls
hanging out with friends
drink
go to parties
do CBR
watch Movies
listen to music
play video games

I don't know if im a geek, a nerd, a slacker, a jock, or a gamer. I have been made fun of for every single one of my interests. But I enjoy life and I dont see how a title affects the amount enjoyment I get from life. Like everyone's saying the key is to not limit yourself to one thing.

[Dom]

Cause they're convienently located outside of bars. And my place of employment. And my apartment. And many shopping establishments. It's wonderful.


I mean, why not smoke in those places?

[howyadoin]

I mean, why not smoke in those places?Smoking bans, maybe?

[Dom]

Smoking bans, maybe?


Right. I don't smoke, so I rarely notice when you can't.

But that's gotta suck.

"Here, take this shot of alcohol, it must be your 30th of the night, and try no to vomit your intestines out but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NO SMOKE THAT CIGARETTE!!!!"

[Tages]

Right. I don't smoke, so I rarely notice when you can't.

But that's gotta suck.

"Here, take this shot of alcohol, it must be your 30th of the night, and try no to vomit your intestines out but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NO SMOKE THAT CIGARETTE!!!!"
Now, I for one find tobacco a much more enjoyable vice than alcohol.

[iwarrior]

I've had alcoholics in my family. I don't want to end up like them.

[iwarrior]

This post below pretty much sums up why I dislike the whole: "I'm a geek and somehow that makes me better and means I'm having more fun than all those people over there laughing and not liking it much when I join in" type positions some people take.

It's not that I dislike that these people are happy - yay! you go geek! (See, I'm 'pro-happy geek') It's that they can only justify there own happiness by trying to tear down the enjoyment of others. Being a geek = Good. Being a socially adjusted person = Too stupid to know what they're missing out on.

Let's have a closer look at the post, selected at random, below:



Hey that's great! But a hobby is usually considered a distraction of interest that a person likes to pursue in their spare time. If it's stopping you from "losing [your] mind" then that's more of an emotional dependency rather than a hobby. And you may have invested too much of yourself in to it.



These 'things' the other kids were interested in are actually things (at the very least past-times). Not the kind of 'things' you were interested in, obivoulsy, but still 'things'. What your college advisor may have been doing was desperately scratching around for something positive and nice to say to you. And the best they could come up with was that you weren't like all the other kids that liked to get together and share good times.

But the whole point is, as long as you're happy with yourself what's it matter what everybody else is doing to make themselves happy? Why is what everybody else does so important to deciding if your happy or not?




Yahoo Personals may not be the very best yard stick to use in trying to figure out if everybody else has hobbies or not. Also it's good to remember that people posting on 'Desperate and Dateless' boards are doing so for a very good reason.



Well, you might find that they've formed their own baseless conclusions as to why you're SO into metal, comics and pro-wrestling. But they may be finding it difficult to work the question: "So, are you a repressed homosexual?" into friendly workplace chat.




Do they 'have a life'? My god, yes they do! And pretty good lives for those people that like to, you know, socialise with other people, build bonds of frienship, meet new people, experience the world around them. Stuff like that.

But why the comparison? So you like listening to violent music while reading comics about men in tights while watching actual men in tights grab and grope at each other. While they like meeting new people and going out on the town for their entertainment. One isn't better than the other. And if people like things you don't, it doesn't negate your personal enjoyment. They have no bearing on one another.

If 1980s television taught us anything, it was that 'the world don't move to the beat of just one drum, what might be right for you, may not be right for some - it takes different strokes to move the world, yes it does, different strokes to move the world!

(1980s tv also taught us to never, just never, to lock the A-Team in a barn filled with all the necessary tractor parts, explosives, pvc piping, sheet metal and oxywelding gear that is required to build an Abrahams tank and not to expect them to escape. But that's not so appropriate to the topic at hand).



That makes no sense given your earlier statement that 'people aren't passionate about anything anymore'. Sounds to me that the people around you are VERY passionate about things. But just not those subjects that interest you.

While I understand this must make you feel like a misfit, don't blame those around you. You're not their responsibility and they don't have to like what you like. In exactly the same way that you get to like whatever floats your boat and you don't have to join in their mad partying and stuff.



Well that's just sad. It's certainly a sign of an unhappy home life or alcohol dependency (if he's in the bar by himself and not friends). But not a good measure for the rest of humanity. Have you thought about maybe reaching out to this unfortunate man? Helping him? Maybe you could interest him in the world of pro-wresting and reading comics as a substitute to sitting friendlessly by himself at a bar?



Yes, personal hygiene, or the lack of it, is a good barometer for so many things.



This is just my opinion, of course, but I'm thinking those 'cool' people may not have actually been all that 'cool'. Sometimes seriously 'geeky' people (as you described) mistake personal hygiene for 'coolness'. But there's more to being 'cool' than just owning a bar of soap.



Interesting because they share your own interests, you mean.



Try having a conversation with a 'geek' where you're trying to explain that you: "really don't give a shit if Greebo shot first, and who the hell is this Greebo person you keep yammering about anyway?"

But once again you've fallen into the mental tar pit, of those who don't give a damn about your interests as being "boring" and "empty-headed". While those that share your interests are, not too surprisingly, "interesting".

If you have to judge how happy you are by not only making up competition in the happiness stakes, but also insulting other people for following their own interests, then you're not really happy at all. Instead you're just sour graping.

In which case, get over it! If your so caught up in other peoples lives that you supposedly see as much less interesting than yours, then you really should think about getting yourself a hobby.


Yeah,I'm so sure you chose my post at "random". Buzz off. :rolleyes:

[Smuggletrain]

Now, I for one find tobacco a much more enjoyable vice than alcohol.

Then you may be missing out on one of life's pleasures. Tobacco and alcohol go together like penises and vaginas.

[phoenixrising]

I mean, why not smoke in those places?

Smoking bans....and in the case of bars, its usually after closing time or when my group has been thrown out for unruliness.

[Ayo]

I feel so lame now. I should try to get my group to be more unruly.

[tempestuousepulchre]

When i think of geeks i don't normally envision people who lack a social life, but rather those who augment their social lives with life-enriching hobbies. As fun as it can be to get completely wasted at a party, most things tend to get tedious after a while. The more you inundate your life with, the less likely you are of becoming bored and missing out in life's enjoyments so, yeah, i guess geeks do have more enjoyable lives.