How would Evangelion be like . . . [Archive] - Comic Book Resources Forums

abbas.khan

03-14-2005, 12:09 AM

. . . if Shinji was a bad@$$?

evangelion would be a goddamn porno featuring 14 year olds!

Sanagi

03-14-2005, 12:17 AM

Shinji would join up with Kaji's spy ring, investigate his father's doings at Nerv, and if he dug deep enough without getting caught, he'd either blackmail Gendo or narc on him to Seele.

abbas.khan

03-14-2005, 12:18 AM

No It Would Be A Goddamn Porno!

Rod G

03-14-2005, 08:18 AM

Sorry,abbas.khan,but I must agree with Sanagi.

I mean,a tougher,less whiny Shinji would do things differently.

abbas.khan

03-14-2005, 10:37 AM

Sorry,abbas.khan,but I must agree with Sanagi.

I mean,a tougher,less whiny Shinji would do things differently.

a whiny, wimpier shinji was surrounded by boobies and did nothing.

a tougher, less whiny shinji would do everything to get those boobies.

hence porno.

besides most of gainax stuff tends to border on near soft core anyway.

Rod G

03-14-2005, 12:17 PM

Shinji would join up with Kaji's spy ring, investigate his father's doings at Nerv, and if he dug deep enough without getting caught, he'd either blackmail Gendo or narc on him to Seele.

That sounds reasonable.

MKTerra

03-14-2005, 03:29 PM

I'm gonna go with porno-guy here :p

Must... derail... thread...! :D

Jack

03-14-2005, 03:56 PM

I'm gonna go with porno-guy here :p

Must... derail... thread...! :D
Giant robot porn.

Eliseu Gouveia

03-14-2005, 05:11 PM

Jack

03-14-2005, 05:17 PM

I think the correct expression would be Hentai.

And yes, it would be one unstoppable 24/7 sexcapade with Shinji and Kagi banging everything in range that had a "X" chromosson in their bodies.

.................er, EVA units don´t have chromossoms, do they?.................
Uhh, everyone has an X chromosome - men and women. Women just have two.

And Evas probably do have chromosomes. They are clones of Adam after all.

Eliseu Gouveia

03-14-2005, 05:48 PM

Uhh, everyone has an X chromosome - men and women. Women just have two.

And Evas probably do have chromosomes. They are clones of Adam after all.

Yeah, I knew that men are XY-chromossons and women are X-X.

Now, kids, do you see now what lack of sleep can do to your brain? :)

Rod G

03-14-2005, 10:04 PM

Sanagi seems to be the only one who understood the point of this thread.

MKTerra

03-14-2005, 11:18 PM

In truth, I think contemplating a hypothetically badass Shinji is like contemplating a hypothetically badass Peter Parker. It seems to defeat their purpose somehow.

abbas.khan

03-15-2005, 01:03 AM

Sanagi seems to be the only one who understood the point of this thread.

when you were 14, what was on your mind?

Daemon

03-15-2005, 05:57 AM

Sanagi seems to be the only one who understood the point of this thread.

Considering that Shinji already beat off to an unconscious Asuka....I'll haveta go with the Shinji that's going to be jumping the bones of as many females as he possibly can.

Not to mention Asuka only puts him through the ringer since he is such a wimp, that if he did grow a spine Asuka would probably not be degrading the poor boy at every corner.

Rod G

03-15-2005, 07:32 AM

Originally posted by Daemon :
Not to mention Asuka only puts him through the ringer since he is such a wimp,that if he did grow a spine,Asuka would probably not be degrading the poor boy at every corner.

That makes sense.

pirulaso

03-15-2005, 09:12 AM

when you were 14, what was on your mind?
dbz. then swords. repeat cycle.

abbas.khan

03-15-2005, 12:12 PM

Porno wins again!

Eliseu Gouveia

03-15-2005, 12:21 PM

dbz. then swords. repeat cycle.

Man, you are SO pure............. :p

My mind at 14 was more like....
SexsexsexsexdamnmymathteacherisSOhotsexsexsexsexse x :D

Lightbend

03-15-2005, 07:47 PM

Oddly enough, when you look at it, two of the Evas are males-Shinji's is female.

So even in giant robot porno, Shinji'll be the girl.

Infinity Chameleon

03-15-2005, 08:16 PM

when you were 14, what was on your mind?

The slow, excruciatingly painful deaths of my enemies.

That and video games. And food.

Rod G

03-15-2005, 08:20 PM

Tsk.

I suggest getting your minds out of the gutter,people.This is NOT about sexual performance,but rather about general attitude.

Rod G

03-15-2005, 08:21 PM

The slow, excruciatingly painful deaths of my enemies.

That and video games. And food.

Okayyyyy . . . .

Eliseu Gouveia

03-15-2005, 08:45 PM

Oddly enough, when you look at it, two of the Evas are males-Shinji's is female.

So even in giant robot porno, Shinji'll be the girl.

What do you mean?

They´re ALL intrinsically girls.

EVA 00 is Ritsukoi´s mom, Shinji´s unit is his mom and Asuka´s unit is her mom.

abbas.khan

03-15-2005, 09:46 PM

Tsk.

I suggest getting your minds out of the gutter,people.This is NOT about sexual performance,but rather about general attitude.

if thats the case, then shinji would actually be trying to hit on asuka and rei.

we just wouldnt see the porno bits :P

Eliseu Gouveia

03-16-2005, 04:04 AM

if thats the case, then shinji would actually be trying to hit on asuka and rei.

we just wouldnt see the porno bits :P

To add the Asuka and Rei bits, let´s not forget that he would not have rejected Misato´s advances after the Kaji "mishap".
And Ritsuko?
There´s one lonely girl that needs something her cats can´t give her. ;)

Lightbend

03-16-2005, 09:01 PM

What do you mean?

They´re ALL intrinsically girls.

EVA 00 is Ritsukoi´s mom, Shinji´s unit is his mom and Asuka´s unit is her mom.

I mean biologically. 00 and 02-onward are cloned from Adam, meaning they are biologically male.

01 is cloned from Lilith, therefor biologically female.

Hence, Shinji is the woman in any Eva on Eva porn.

abbas.khan

03-16-2005, 09:55 PM

I mean biologically. 00 and 02-onward are cloned from Adam, meaning they are biologically male.

01 is cloned from Lilith, therefor biologically female.

Hence, Shinji is the woman in any Eva on Eva porn.

but what if shinji is really gay?

Rod G

03-16-2005, 10:44 PM

That's a whole other topic altogether.

Lightbend

03-17-2005, 10:58 AM

That's a whole other topic altogether.

Kaworu was an angel! He doesn't count!

And besides, it takes supreme confidence in your own heterosexuality to have sex with another man.

Eliseu Gouveia

03-17-2005, 02:06 PM

Not that there´s anything wrong with that. :cool:

abbas.khan

03-17-2005, 06:11 PM

wasnt shinji's dad already having sex with ritsuko?

if shinji was a real bad ass, he'd steal her from his dad.

Rod G

03-17-2005, 08:26 PM

I think most posters here are deviating from the point of this topic.

My definition of a bad@$$ is,simply put,a tough guy.

It has nothing to do with sexual performance.

lonewolf23k

03-17-2005, 08:42 PM

If Shinji was a Badass, we'd finally get a hero I could respect on that show. He'd kick Angel ass like it was going out of style, would make Ayeka his bitch, and tell his dad where to shove it on a regular basis.

abbas.khan

03-18-2005, 04:21 AM

Rod G

03-18-2005, 07:27 AM

Rod G

03-18-2005, 08:18 AM

I almost forgot . . .

Her name is Asuka.

(Ayeka is from Tenchi Muyo.)

MKTerra

03-18-2005, 01:45 PM

Good answer,lonewolf23k!See, you already know what you want to hear. It all seems so boring.

abbas.khan

03-18-2005, 06:49 PM

see...
evangelion would still be a porno.

Rachel Grey

03-18-2005, 11:34 PM

but what if shinji is really gay?

I get this odd mental image of Asuka beating Kaworu into a bloody pulp 'cause she's tired of getting rejected by Shinji.

abbas.khan

03-19-2005, 12:17 AM

and on to our next question...

what if asuka wasnt a bad ass?

Rod G

03-19-2005, 01:55 PM

You mean if Asuka was rather wimpy?

Good question.

Eliseu Gouveia

03-19-2005, 02:20 PM

Scenario 1: Wimpy Asuka and Whiny Shinji
Mankind loses. Badly. They don´t even get past the waterborne angel Israfel.

Scenario 2: Wimpy Asuka and Badass Shinji
Shinji loses 13 whole seconds turning Asuka into his love slave.

saintjon

03-30-2005, 02:23 PM

LOL!

Does shinji being a badass mean he's like an areshole too? Or does it just mean he's mentally tougher? Anyways, the way some of those people treated him I think he'd have half a mind to let the Angels do what they wanted, or even help them a bit from time to time.

Eliseu Gouveia

03-30-2005, 04:37 PM

Nah, way I see it, Badass Shinji would still realise that letting the Angels get to Adam/Lilith/whatever NERV spoonfed us would mean Kaput! for everyone.

So, he´d still fight them, only instead of dragging his whinning sorry ass from whatever corner he´s usually mopping on, they´d have to drag him from under the sheets (and the human lock formed by Misato and Asuka).