Scandalous lies about YABSers! [Archive] - Comic Book Resources Forums

Crowley

02-28-2005, 04:34 PM

Gail Simone was briefly a superheroine known only as G-Bolt.
ALso she writes a series of fiction best sellers under the pen name Anne Coulter.

MacQuarrie once dropped an Oreo cookie on the kitchen floor and then picked it up and ATE IT!

Kyuubi; when not at the computer rides around on a huffy bike wearing a Thor helmet and hitting his neighbor's mailboxes with a hammer.

SuperECWFan hates wrestling because he thinks it's fake.

Pixies Chick is actually 7 and a half feet tall.

Spackling Compound is actually a 80yo woman living the retired life in Boca Raton.

Melissa is actually an ACS Advanced Computer Simulation... trying to learn the meaning of :wub:

tell me more lies!

JeffreyWKramer

02-28-2005, 04:39 PM

Spackling Compound is Hindu.

Crowley

02-28-2005, 04:42 PM

Jeffrey W. Kramer- man on the grassy knoll!

sk716

02-28-2005, 04:43 PM

Gail Simone was briefly a superheroine known only as G-Bolt.

Actually, that one is true!

Cam63 is actually a super-intelligent monkey operating from an underground base in Nevada. He pretends to be Australian to distract us from his plans for world domination. He intends to have us all performing high wire acts in circuses.

stealthwise

02-28-2005, 04:45 PM

MacQuarrie once dropped an Oreo cookie on the kitchen floor and then picked it up and ATE IT!

Actually, that was me, it was a Goodie Ringtm, and it wasn't the kitchen floor, it was the bottom of a volcano.

MacQuarrie

02-28-2005, 04:47 PM

MacQuarrie once dropped an Oreo cookie on the kitchen floor and then picked it up and ATE IT!
More than once.

At our house, the "5 Second Rule" has been replaced by the Duncan Rule: If you can pick it up before the dog (Duncan) gets it, you can eat it.

Crowley

02-28-2005, 04:55 PM

you sick freak!

;)

The Xenos

02-28-2005, 07:26 PM

Emperor Crowley - Once tried to kill William Butler Yeats with black magic before leaving for the US to start a crazy cabbalistic cult. (Say that 5 times fast.)

Wait.. that might be the wrong Crowley...

-Xenos

Kyuubi

02-28-2005, 07:29 PM

EmperorCrowley spends all his time in front of his computer completely naked.

God, I hope that's a lie.

Spackling Compound

02-28-2005, 07:30 PM

Spackling Compound is Hindu.

Actually, I'm a Hin-don't.

And here's my scandalous lie: John Byrne created you all! ALL OF YOU! You are all the brainchild of the twisted, rotten-toothed bearded man with a pen laced with blood, venom.. and..ummm....ham.

Spackling Compound

02-28-2005, 07:34 PM

EmperorCrowley spends all his time in front of his computer completely naked....displaying his Herculean body.

Now it's a lie ;)

Shades0077

02-28-2005, 08:01 PM

Biggest lie ever?

Hutch University sucks.

Also, CFT is neither cream filled, nor a taco!

Phoney Bone

02-28-2005, 08:17 PM

Where exactly were you the night Skylab fell, sk716?

Ever notice how YoGo and Bob Saggat are never in the same place at the same time?

Just saying......

YoGo

02-28-2005, 09:19 PM

Where exactly were you the night Skylab fell, sk716?

Ever notice how YoGo and Bob Saggat are never in the same place at the same time?

Just saying......

Oh great, now I have to get Zatanna to mind wipe you....*sigh*....again.

Crowley

02-28-2005, 10:11 PM

EmperorCrowley spends all his time in front of his computer completely naked.

God, I hope that's a lie.
:eek:

Kyuubi secretly films.

the4thpip

02-28-2005, 10:40 PM

Phoney Bone is actually made of real ivory. Illegally imported, too. :mad:

Kyuubi

02-28-2005, 11:02 PM

:eek:

Kyuubi secretly films.

Well, the secret's out. :(

I guess now I can tell you that you're the biggest star of the underground Hong Kong pirated movie biz.

Phoney Bone

02-28-2005, 11:15 PM

the4thpip bites his toenails...and is really the5thseason.

Cam63

02-28-2005, 11:22 PM

Actually, that one is true!

Cam63 is actually a super-intelligent monkey operating from an underground base in Nevada. He pretends to be Australian to distract us from his plans for world domination. He intends to have us all performing high wire acts in circuses.

I have never been to that place which you call " Nevada ", but will freely admit to watching freaky freakin' freak things do stuff much better than the rest of us sorry buggers !

I choose to ignore you until I am well satisfied with beer consumption and watching sport !

Begone, irritating sk716 !

Crowley

02-28-2005, 11:25 PM

Cam63 shot Bambi's mother.

YoGo

02-28-2005, 11:39 PM

Hey I did that! I shot that biatch right throu...oops, uhm...no, wait...uh, yeah...cam did it. That's right...cam shot her. Heh....not me.

Cam63

02-28-2005, 11:39 PM

Cam63 shot Bambi's mother.

Self defence. She had an M-203 and was ready to frag my arse.

Kyuubi

03-01-2005, 12:20 AM

Self defence. She had an M-203 and was ready to frag my arse.

Bull, I was there that day and there was no way she could have fired that thing. How could she, SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIGGIN FINGERS!

and was it really necessary to empty 7 clips into her corpse? she was dead after the first shot.

YoGo

03-01-2005, 12:32 AM

Yes, but then she awoke in Avalon and asked by Captain Britain and Meggan to choose, between the Sword and Amulet. She picked the amulet cos she didnt have fingers, as you so cleverly pointed out, to hold the sword. Then she was resurrected immediately on the same spot.

Cam unloaded on her there and then. Captain Britain and Meggan moved on to the Avengers after that.

Kyuubi

03-01-2005, 12:38 AM

That makes absolute perfect sense, thank you for clearing that up.

However, that will not stop me from revealing to everyone your horrible, horrible secret.

YoGo's ...CANADIAN!

YoGo

03-01-2005, 01:16 AM

No, no, no ,no ,no. My dear Kyubster.

Haha, aren't you a littel darling.

That's the Yogo from an alternate reality. It ended up in that reality that Canada was taken over by an army of moose (mooses? meese?) and all the human canadian were exiled.

They then travelled by rowboat across the ocean (some by interconnecting flights) and landed in Singapore. There they staged a coup over the government and declared it New Canada! And so the Yogo there was born Canadian. Unlike myself.

Crowley

03-01-2005, 01:26 AM

aha so Kyuubi is actually an American from another dimension known as Canada!

Canadian Yogo

03-01-2005, 01:31 AM

It's true bub.

And I'm the best there is at what I do.

And what I do is be Canadian in an alternate reality

Cam63

03-01-2005, 01:32 AM

I was in the can when fired upon by Bambi's mum's M-203 and all I had was a .25 Saturday Night Special in me ankle holster !

I had to return fire ! I had to !!!

Damn you, Bambi's mum for forcing me to make a choice I wish I never had to make !

( sobs uncontrollably )

YoGo

03-01-2005, 01:34 AM

Hey look everybody! It's Canadian Yogo!

I wonder how he got across the dimensional threshold.

Crowley

03-01-2005, 01:35 AM

well hell I'm just going to say it... since its been brought up.

Bambi's Mother... the first WiR.

OzBat!

03-01-2005, 04:26 AM

I'll bet alternate-dimensional Singaporeon Canadian Yogo yoghurt is even more difficult to pass through customs than normal yogo yoghurt. Probably a thriving black market for it though... I'll bet Bambi's Mum was hopped to the eyeballs on illicit A.D.S.C.Y.Y. when she went ballistic!

Cam63 has a wonky eye though, from all those years glued to the peepshows. The '63' in his name is how many shots he actually took, versus the 7 that finally hit.

Kyubi is a fence for stolen Korean motor vehicle parts and accessories.

EmperorCrowley's crown is bald.

The4thPip doesn't squeeze his own orange juice.

Gail Simone pushes old ladies in wheelchairs out into peakhour traffic, hoping to find the 'real' Oracle hiding undercover.

Dwight is a sane voice in an insane world.

OzBat! is a looney.

David Bedlam

03-01-2005, 04:39 AM

I have never kissed Brian Bendis behind the Marvel stall at Megacon will over come with emotion at reading the latest issue of Powers and anyone who says so is a dirty slanderer!

Kyuubi

03-01-2005, 03:57 PM

sk716

03-01-2005, 07:11 PM

Where exactly were you the night Skylab fell, sk716?

Ever notice how YoGo and Bob Saggat are never in the same place at the same time?

Just saying......

ummm... I.... ummm... Well... OH! I had a date!

Where were you when Identity Crisis was written, huh?!?

Cam63

03-01-2005, 07:43 PM

I'll bet alternate-dimensional Singaporeon Canadian Yogo yoghurt is even more difficult to pass through customs than normal yogo yoghurt. Probably a thriving black market for it though... I'll bet Bambi's Mum was hopped to the eyeballs on illicit A.D.S.C.Y.Y. when she went ballistic!

Cam63 has a wonky eye though, from all those years glued to the peepshows. The '63' in his name is how many shots he actually took, versus the 7 that finally hit.

Hey, my .25 Beretta only holds 6 rounds, genius !

Gail Simone pushes old ladies in wheelchairs out into peakhour traffic, hoping to find the 'real' Oracle hiding undercover.

Thanks for that line, Oz ! That was my first real good laugh for the day :)

Another one about Gail is she was insanely pissed at being knocked back in her audition for the role of Velma in the Scoobydoo movies.

It didn't help that she refused to change her blue tinted glasses for the Velma frames and the itch she got from the sweater made her fidget and scratch uncontrollably.

sk716

03-01-2005, 08:31 PM

TCJohnson wears his underwear on the outside.

Crowley collects Care Bears.

TCJohnson

03-01-2005, 09:05 PM

Ha! Well, the jokes on you! I don't wear underwear! Or pants! HA!

abbas.khan

03-01-2005, 09:53 PM

i've read a comicbook in the past three years :P

Phoney Bone

03-01-2005, 10:58 PM

Where were you when Identity Crisis was written, huh?!?

You got NUTTIN on me, sister!

I'll have you know I was at another comic book company making a giant origami spaceship! And have you ever seen what superglue can do to a quiver when you...

...

uh-oh

SUPERECWFAN1

03-02-2005, 07:22 AM

Screwtape

03-02-2005, 08:14 AM

Someone do me!

Roquefort Raider

03-02-2005, 08:27 AM

Screwtape is endowed with ominous beauty.

Whatever that means!!!

Screwtape

03-02-2005, 08:30 AM

Good, good.

All sk716's base are belong to us.

the4thpip enters the country illegally just to vote for Rick Santorum.

Pixies Chick

03-02-2005, 09:54 AM

Roquetfort is lactose intolerant.

Screwtape hates C.S. Lewis, and would call himself Phoney Bone, but it was taken.

EmperorCrowley writes Reader's Digest porn for premature ejaculators.

Spackling Compound has seventeen kids, and they're all under three years old. Everyone is a Henry.

The4thPip starts soccer riots.

TCJohnson once slipped into the Capitol and painted nipples on a semi-nude statue of justice.

SuperECWFan1 can't watch Teen Titans because he cries when something happens to Starfire.

Screwtape

03-02-2005, 10:00 AM

Will you marry me?

the4thpip

03-02-2005, 10:06 AM

The4thPip starts soccer riots.

It's amazing what runnig across the field naked can do. :o

MicBK

03-02-2005, 10:25 AM

just wanted to say this is a hilarious thread. methinks you all should be writing comics.

Spackling Compound

03-02-2005, 11:55 AM

PIXIES CHICK IS REALLY THIS GUY....

http://members.cox.net/futurama/SDCC2002/Crossover03.jpg

Pixies Chick

03-02-2005, 12:47 PM

Will you marry me?

Screwtape is looking for a wife in every country to facilitate his hobby as a drug mule.

Gail Simone left her heart in San Francisco, and a kidney in Thailand, following a night of heavy drinking.

Jeffrey Kramer's bookshelf is full of Madlibs.

Ian Boothby moves his lips when he types.

Black Canary_416 killed a man to watch him die.

Spackling Compound's sense of smell rivals that of a dog, which disturbs him greatly since he lives in a rendering plant.

Phony Bone burps copiously when she goes to the movies.

Screwtape

03-02-2005, 12:47 PM

deleted10characters

Screwtape

03-02-2005, 12:49 PM

Screwtape is looking for a wife in every country to facilitate his hobby as a drug mule.

Gail Simone left her heart in San Francisco, and a kidney in Thailand, following a night of heavy drinking.

Jeffrey Kramer's bookshelf is full of Madlibs.

Ian Boothby moves his lips when he types.

Black Canary_416 killed a man to watch him die.

Spackling Compound's sense of smell rivals that of a dog, which disturbs him greatly since he lives in a rendering plant.

Phony Bone burps copiously when she goes to the movies.I resent my vocation being referred to as a "hobby."

Pixies Chick secretly fantasizes about Donald Rumsfeld. :)

Spackling Compound

03-02-2005, 12:54 PM

Ian Boothby moves his lips when he types.
So that's where the Vagina monologues come from...

Spackling Compound's sense of smell rivals that of a dog, which disturbs him greatly since he lives in a rendering plant.
Rendering plant is so crass. It's a homosexual re-education facility.

Phony Bone burps copiously when she goes to the movies.
I really think Phoney's a guy....but then maybe that's part of the scandalous lie!

TCJohnson

03-02-2005, 12:57 PM

4thPip and Screwtape is really one single mother of 3 with multiple personalities.

SuperECWFan1 also has multiple personalities but each one is exactly the same.

Sk716 wears underwear under her pants....other people's underwear, that is.

The main reason Pixie Chick is such a liveral is because Rush Limbaugh spurned her advances.

JefferyKramer's prefered method of executing his victims involves duct tape and angry badgers.

CreamFilledTaco is the greatest evil Delaware has ever known.

Gail Simone was once married to bigfoot. He is currently searching for him to get her child support money.

Ian Boothby once had somebody else's appendix removed.

YoGo actually lives in Newark, NJ and made up all the stuff about Singapore in the upcoming Birds of Prey

Screwtape

03-02-2005, 12:58 PM

TCJohnson has a tonsil collection.

MicBK

03-02-2005, 01:01 PM

Screwtape got his name by starting a pornography pyramid scheme in the 80s.

Screwtape

03-02-2005, 01:04 PM

FINALLY!

Jeez, you know those references you don't think anybody will catch?

Screwtape

03-02-2005, 01:13 PM

MacQuarrie once dropped an Oreo cookie on the kitchen floor and then picked it up and ATE IT!Imagine it. :shudder: Eating an Oreo.

MicBK

03-02-2005, 01:16 PM

Turok: Dinosaur Hunter # 43 was the first appearance of Gail Simone.

TCJohnson

03-02-2005, 01:21 PM

Turock: Dinosaur Hunter #44 was her last appearance. The case is still open.

JeffreyWKramer

03-02-2005, 01:23 PM

JefferyKramer's prefered method of executing his victims involves duct tape and angry badgers.

That idea has some promise, actually.

Pixies Chick

03-02-2005, 02:13 PM

Gail Simone rubs out rival writers, cackling, "Better dead than read!"

Pia Guerra has a homemade tattoo of Daisy Duke kissing a beagle on her butt. It's really bad, so you have to get close to see it.

When Tainted Lunch goes to town, he likes to shop.

The4thPip was a roadie for a jug band. Never got his big break.

MicBK chronicled the history of pornography pyramids from the 1980s to Abu Ghraib.

MicBK

03-02-2005, 02:25 PM

MicBK chronicled the history of pornography pyramids from the 1980s to Abu Ghraib.

you've read my thesis?

Pixies Chick has an eleventh toe that is really her unborn twin.

SUPERECWFAN1

03-02-2005, 02:26 PM

SuperECWFan1 also has multiple personalities but each one is exactly the same.

Yes and they will soon emerge as I create my own Internet/Comics site. I shall call It ThunderBolt Comics.

TBC . Its there my one personality will be called S-Bolt. Then I'll have one called RIchard.B . Then another called RIchard___ And a moderator named Lisa.

I'll also have a ashcan of a comic that looks like a 5th grader on crack produced It and Interview myself. Heres some of what will be Involved.

RIchard____: ( Tabliod Reporter ): So when the Thunder Rolls 0# has just been released. By god you look like the next coming of Jack Kirby , Stan Lee and Grant Morrison.

RIchard.B ___: Yes....worship me comics fans. I am your new Jesus. Also I have BoomShell 1# coming out In 6 months to tie In with the movie!

JeffreyWKramer

03-02-2005, 02:29 PM

Ian Boothby is actually quite religious. He's very devoted to Cthulhu.

Anthony! is a huge Sinead O'Connor fan.

Gail was responsible for Jericho's Afro/lambchops look and Superman's mullet.

MicBK

03-02-2005, 02:29 PM

SuperECWFan1 is president of the Paul E. Dangerously fan club.

MicBK

03-02-2005, 02:32 PM

JeffreyWKramer plays Klezmer Funk at bar mitzvahs.

TCJohnson

03-02-2005, 03:28 PM

Crisis on Infinite Earths was closely based on something that happened to EmperorCrowley.

Cam63 was once the third member of HiHi Puffy Ami-Yumi. He was asked to leave when it was revealed he could not speak Japanese and had no idea how he got in the group.

Gail Simone was a Bugaloo. (http://www.bugaloos.com/barris-buggypromo.html)

Pixie Chick want a lip piercing, but the piercing got it terribly wrong...terrible wrong.

TCJohnson does indeed have a tonsil collection, and is planning to add screwtape's next ;)

shrike

03-02-2005, 04:26 PM

Corrina is really a sentient computer.

Cam is really a crocodile wrestler who met up with a reporter and is learning the 'city ways' of New York.

Iam Boothby always says to bank tellers in a drive up window he has a kid in the back seat so he can get a free sucker.

Bored at 3am is not really bored at 3am.

Stealthwise learned the art of ninjitsu from George Clinton after being bitten by a radioactive spider.

Corrina

03-02-2005, 04:40 PM

Corrina is really a sentient computer.

Want to play Thermonuclear War?

Resistance is futile.

And I will be back.

MicBK

03-02-2005, 04:48 PM

TC Johnson is Gary Coleman's stunt double.
Shrike is the Columbus, OH bridge and backgammon champion.
Corrina has a stained glass eye.

Crowley

03-02-2005, 05:09 PM

Crisis on Infinite Earths was closely based on something that happened to EmperorCrowley

it's true, the retcon made me register Republican.

TC Johnson is really a catfish wired to a computer.

OzBat!

03-02-2005, 05:52 PM

Cream Filled Taco is lactose intolerant.

Lord MacDingleDork! is simply intolerant.

JeffreyWKramer is simple.

Spackling Compound is a Sim.

TCJohnson: hate 'im!

Pixies Chick... mmmmmmmmm...!

sk716

03-02-2005, 05:55 PM

Sk716 wears underwear under her pants....other people's underwear, that is.

AH HA!!!

I don't wear underwear either!

But I do wear pants.

TCJohnson has a nude photo of Heather Andes on his bedside table.

Screwtape reads Liberty Meadows because it's cheaper than porn.

Spackling Compound is responsible for the castle in the background of The Little Mermaid VHS cover art.

Jeffery collects Pokemon cards.

Gail Simone has a collection of Secret Files to rival those of Batman.

Spackling Compound

03-02-2005, 06:01 PM

Spackling Compound is responsible for the castle in the background of The Little Mermaid VHS cover art.

Responsible only if you mean envious.:D

Phoney Bone

03-02-2005, 07:40 PM

I really think Phoney's a guy....but then maybe that's part of the scandalous lie!

Hop on over to the Natchez Trace and find out for yourself, sweets! ;)

Pixies Chick has a birthmark on her left thigh that looks like Teddy Roosevelt.

J.W. Kramer farts during his clients' sessions.

Kyuubi

03-02-2005, 09:53 PM

OzBat is really just a brain in a jar, the only way he types is through the monkey he mentally controls.

Also, McQuarrie is actually the bastard son of Abe Vigoda.

Cam63

03-02-2005, 11:18 PM

Cam is really a crocodile wrestler who met up with a reporter and is learning the 'city ways' of New York.

Ha ! Two things wrong there.

Only morons wrestle crocodiles ( I'm not quite one ) and I'm learning the ' city ways ' of Alberquerque !

MicBK

03-03-2005, 05:11 AM

Spackling Compound was the voice of 'Kit' on Knight Rider.

Phoney Bone was a Neverland Ranch victim.

Kyuubi invented the "Hurts Donut" by rubbing the fur off a cat's tail.

Cam63 spent 3 months in a kangaroo's pouch.

Phoney Bone

03-03-2005, 05:56 AM

Phoney Bone was a Neverland Ranch victim.

Now look here! Just because I assume the fetal position whenever I hear "Smooth Criminal" means nothing. NOTHING I SAYS!

Spackling Compound

03-03-2005, 06:19 AM

Back in the late '80's, Phoney Bone spent much of his time wandering the back roads of Northeast Mississippi picking up bottles and scraps of paper. The bottles he traded in for cash to buy Slim Jims and Yoohoos. The scraps of paper, he began to tape together in a notebook until they formed a selection of sentences which would become paragraphs, and later chapters.

On a particularly bottle-less winter, he was at a crossroads on a lonely back road. Invoking the devil that Mississippian Robert Johnson had called on, Phoney lie prostrate on the road at the intersection chanting in the closest words he knew to magic, a combination of doo-wop and Zatanna quotes. Soon as the sun was waning, a Cadillac pulled up and stopped. Phoney stood up and recognized the license plate:TCB. As many Southerners know, TCB was Elvis' motto (Taking Care of Business), so as the window rolled down, Phoney was greeted by none other than Jesse Garon Presley, the dead fetal twin of Elvis. The fetus asked to see the notebook of cobbled scraps of paper. Jess Garon spent the course of the afternoon rearranging the scraps until the narrative and form changed. The fetus returned the notebook to Phoney. Phoney began to read, smiled and hugged the fetus. The fetus pulled from his embrace, and with a yelp, sped off into the dying Mississippi sun.

Phoney took the notes to a publisher. The publisher liked what he saw and began to promise Phoney fortune and fame. The story that had formed was a compelling mystery involving ethics, morals, corruption and the law. As the publisher was writing a check, the phone rang in his office. Phoney was being sued for hugging a fetus on a backroad.

He hired a lawyer and the only thing he had of value was the notebook. Phoney said, "If I give you this notebook, promise I won't owe you anything else? We'll be firm?" The lawyer took the notebook, read the first pages, smiled and said, "We'll be firm and I'll get you out of trouble. But for the next 10 years, I need a notebook from you each year. Or you'll serve hard time in Parchman." Phoney agreed wondering how to keep the notebooks going without the support of Jess Garon.

The lawyer went and took the notebook to another publisher. He called the notebook, "The Firm". He made millions. He even made a movie.

Phoney doesn't reveal his sources these days, but on lonely Mississippi nights, you can see a solitary figure picking up scraps from ATM machines, old Bible tracts and CD cases patching together the next best seller.

MicBK

03-03-2005, 06:44 AM

Phoney doesn't reveal his sources these days, but on lonely Mississippi nights, you can see a solitary figure picking up scraps from ATM machines, old Bible tracts and CD cases patching together the next best seller.

Now that's a very, very well thought out scandalous lie.

Static-Pulse

03-03-2005, 08:58 AM

Gail Simone has a collection of Secret Files to rival those of Batman.Is that the one she created, or the list that was fought for and won from Stan Lee four miles above the Antarctic Circle two years ago?

Spackling Compound

03-03-2005, 09:13 AM

When the talented and noted hot-tempered ,fiery jazz drummer, Buddy Rich died, his widow received a phone call on the evening of his funeral. "Hello, ma'm. Is Buddy Rich there?" said the voice on the other end. The widow replied, "No, I am sorry but Buddy Rich is dead." The caller responded, "Thank you" and hung up.
The next night, the widow receives a phone call, the caller asks if Buddy Rich was present. The widow, recognizing the voice, apologetically replies, "Sir, I'm sorry. Buddy Rich is dead." The caller thanks the widow and hangs up.
The next evening, the widow receives yet another call and the caller asks if Buddy Rich was there. The widow, upset this time and recognizing the voice as the one from the previous nights, screams, "NO! NO! Buddy Rich is dead! Buddy Rich is dead!!" The caller replies calmly, "I know, m'am. I just like hearing it over and over."
Speculations on the veracity of the tale and the identity of the caller have been around for years now. One thing is certain, though: Jazz sucks and Jeffrey Kramer has used a telephone.
Put the pieces together as you will.

MicBK

03-03-2005, 09:21 AM

that one was hilarious....

Spackling Compound led a band by the name of 'Dr. Bojangles Sissy Boy Funtime Brigade' which innovated glam rock in the 1930s.

Spackling Compound

03-03-2005, 09:42 AM

The Virgin Mary supposedly has appeared in the war torn region of Medugorje in Yugoslavia for the past 25 years. Pilgrims and sceptics both meet on an unremarkable hill waiting for either a sign from God or to walk away with a handful of air. Both sides have been satisfied and that continues the allure to this remote area.
The Virgin Mary has spoken, supposedly, to several mystics through her appearances in Medugorje. Some of her sayings are directed to the conversion to Christianity. Others are calling forth for world peace. Others are prophecies predicting insurrections and wars. Many of these writings have been chronicled in books and distributed in hundreds of languages. Her very words and the reading of them have been known to bring about change in people's lives. Miraculous changes, some would say.
Ian Boothby was at a Books-A-Million, and three shelves away from where he stood, was a copy of one such book. Boothby was thumbing through a copy of Futurama and wondering why his book was on the same shelf as Jeff Foxworthy's 32nd edition of "You Might Be a Redneck...".

Screwtape

03-03-2005, 09:59 AM

http://pictureposter.allbrand.nu/pictures/Demonicuss/boner1.jpg

This panel is an incredible aphrodisiac for JeffreyWKramer.

stealthwise

03-03-2005, 11:20 AM

Stealthwise learned the art of ninjitsu from George Clinton after being bitten by a radioactive spider.

Actually, it was a radioactive dung beetle.

BRING ON DA FUNK! HIIIIIYYYYAAAA!

http://www.eminemitalia.it/images/hiphoptimeline/george_clinton.jpg

Spackling Compound

03-03-2005, 11:28 AM

that one was hilarious....

Spackling Compound led a band by the name of 'Dr. Bojangles Sissy Boy Funtime Brigade' which innovated glam rock in the 1930s.
"snort" you said "Brigade" like "Brig-gaaaaay-ed!" "snicker"

Spackling Compound

03-03-2005, 11:40 AM

A knock comes on your door. The man hands you a briefcase filled with cocaine and an abortion kit. You put your cigarette out in your hand and take an uncharted flight to Tijuana. There you meet with a girl who carries a gun and smells like roses. You hand her the briefcase. She fixes you a drink. You drink deep. And then you catch her eyes. She says, "Are you here for the abortion?" You say that you are only here for the abortion. She takes out a mahogany box and opens it. It is lined with fur and inside is the entire run of Identity Crisis.
She says, "Senor, you are late. The abortion. It is done. The DCU is no more."
You take another drink. Your tongue burns with the sting.
"Who paid for this?", you ask.

She points to Emperor Crowley who until now has been in the shadows. He greets you with a meaty handshake, "And now, let's talk about the movie rights."

Cream Filled Taco

03-03-2005, 12:13 PM

Shades0077 is really a 52 year old woman, and writes and draws Hutch University to troll for young college men.

And she has floppy boobies.

Cream Filled Taco

03-03-2005, 12:18 PM

The TC in TCJohnson stands for Tiny Curdled.

And he loves to teleport.

Spackling Compound

03-03-2005, 12:45 PM

Gail Simone is the latest incarnation of an airborne virus created back in the early 50's by United States scientists. The virus, which is harmless and odorless, was produced to carry certain messages to the human brain and introduce these messages en masse to cultures. Psychologists have called the product of this virus "memes". Memes are made known when certain expressions or sounds (most of the results are auditory and oratory) seem to explode in a certain culture. For instance the use of the word "amazing" to describe a person which has suddenly become omnipresent. Other indicators are the expressions such as "like that's gonna happen" and "fo' shizzle" or the use of the accordion in early 90's adult oriented rock.
The virus has been working at taking on human form. Over the decades, the virus has pressed further in development by first taking on autonomy, then a rudimentary frame that was known as the puppet "Goliath" in the stop animation features of the 60's and now living flesh and dead hair today in the form that is known as Gail Simone.
In this form, the virus can continue the spread of memes by first writing a line of comic books, also by constantly talking to clients in the beauty salon and by hosting this board. The meme virus is shown when there are some erratic and unexplained threads that begin with doing things with bananas or the use of nonsense words. The meme is searching for a host.
Most times, the hosts are those who pick up on the thread and begin to invent a reality around the virus' suggestion. J-Bolt for instance, is a meme induced reality that sucks posters in.
Gail Simone is a virus, although harmless. The only remote harm that can occur is either a preoccupation with J-Bolt, a need to be responded to on private messages to Gail or, most usually, you will lose your genatalia.
This is just a caution. Now, MORE J-BOLT NEWS!

Phoney Bone

03-03-2005, 01:40 PM

"Do it."

"No...we won't do it anymore!"

"I said, 'do it'."

"No, you heartless bastard...we refuse!!"

"Do you want me to get the dogs again?"

"........."

"Well..."

"Damn you. Damn you to hell...

S-s-s-Saturday ni-IIIGHT, S-s-s-Saturday ni-IIIGHT..."

You guessed it. YoGo has The Bay City Rollers chained up in the basement.

Phoney Bone

03-03-2005, 01:53 PM

Kyuubi is, in fact, the host of The Planet's Funniest Animals...MATT GALLANT!!!

Super ECW Fan fantasizes about naked roller derby women.

Gail gots cooties!!

SUPERECWFAN1

03-03-2005, 02:26 PM

Kyuubi is, in fact, the host of The Planet's Funniest Animals...MATT GALLANT!!!

Super ECW Fan fantasizes about naked roller derby women.

Gail gots cooties!!

If thier hot and keep the Roller skates on. Hey who else didn't think about It after Boogie Nights ?

Phoney Bone

03-03-2005, 02:38 PM

If thier hot and keep the Roller skates on. Hey who else didn't think about It after Boogie Nights ?

Yeah....BUT...when you fantasize they all have Ernest Borgnine's face.

SUPERECWFAN1

03-03-2005, 02:48 PM

Yeah....BUT...when you fantasize they all have Ernest Borgnine's face.

Only In my nightmares after I eat a late pizza. :eek:

Cam63

03-03-2005, 03:17 PM

Spackling Compound attends church wearing a gimp suit.

Spackling Compound

03-03-2005, 03:26 PM

Spackling Compound attends church wearing a gimp suit.

:) I'm so happy with this particular scandal I want to have it tatooed on my buttocks.

Ahemm...to whit:

Cam63 is actually defunct. After WetLickLip69, one of the favorite vid-girls on the famous EUROFATTIES.COM site, shot herself online before an audience estimated to be in the near thousands, the company Sergei, Sergei and Baby D decided to retire her camera. Now between cam62 (Etta) and cam 64 (DildoDame), there is a blank spot where the only thing to see is one's own misery.

Cam63

03-03-2005, 03:32 PM

Touche !

---

Kyuubi

03-03-2005, 03:39 PM

Kyuubi is, in fact, the host of The Planet's Funniest Animals...MATT GALLANT!!!

:eek: I've never been so insulted in my whole life.

Phoney Bone is a clone made up of the DNA of Hitler and an African Zulu Warrior.

Crowley

03-03-2005, 05:14 PM

Phoney Bone

03-03-2005, 09:26 PM

:eek: I've never been so insulted in my whole life.

Phoney Bone is a clone made up of the DNA of Hitler and an African Zulu Warrior.

Stick around. It's only March.

"Heil Zulu Zulu Zulululululululululu!!!"

the4thpip

03-04-2005, 12:12 AM

Cream Filled Taco is actually filled with a cheap artificial cream-replacement that has caused hairloss to rats in lab studies.

Screwtape

03-04-2005, 08:13 AM

Spackling Compound is actually an alias for Stephen Jay Gould (it's an inside joke). Anthony! is really Anton LaVey, and I... well, I'll never tell.

Spackling Compound

03-04-2005, 08:40 AM

Spackling Compound is actually an alias for Stephen Jay Gould (it's an inside joke).

Ahhh...I've been keeping that on the down-low ever since the publisher's refused to print my next best work, "The Panda's Thumb is Up His Ass". Thanks, Screwtape or should I say.....Madeline Murray O'Hair??? Muahhahahaha

Screwtape

03-04-2005, 08:45 AM

Bastard! I'm never telling you anything again!

The Beast Of Yucca Flats

03-04-2005, 08:58 AM

I'm the one who killed Jimmy Hoffa. And Jiminy Cricket.

Screwtape

03-04-2005, 09:00 AM

You know, I just noticed your sig. Brother, you are welcome here.

The Beast Of Yucca Flats

03-04-2005, 11:27 AM

Thanks. In fact, I actually had that exact same sig of yours over at the DC Comics forums... back when you could still have sigs, that is. :(

Note: at the time this post was written, Screwtape's sig was "Believe me, Mike; I calculated the odds of this suceeding vs. the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid, and... I went ahead anyway." Mine at the time this was written was "Mike, could you hand me my calculations? Thank you. Wow, 'Breach hull, all die.' Even had it underlined." Both were from MST3K: The Movie. And from the same scene, no less. Just so ya all know.

sk716

03-04-2005, 06:42 PM

kyuubi once hit on J-Bolt thinking he was a chick! :eek:

Kyuubi

03-04-2005, 07:23 PM

kyuubi once hit on J-Bolt thinking he was a chick! :eek:

Yeah, I wish I had known that before I got to second base.

so hairy...

so, so, hairy.

Spackling Compound

03-05-2005, 09:15 AM

The YABSers are truly a group of overweight, highly-intelligent but underemployed, egoists who have long ago given up fashion for comfortable velcro fastened shoes and sweatpants. They drive cars that have at least one bumper sticker that they got from the Ren-Fair and the passenger side seat has a collection of old coffee cups, debris from leaky kitty litter bags and 8th year senior thesis outlines on Chaucer and the Medieval Mind. They have animals named after Tolkien characters, are all homosexual and when they get together, they laugh a bit too loudly at "Monty Python" jokes and references to "The Princess Bride" and collectively emit an odor that is a combination of Aqua Velva and cheese.

That is a lie, right?

Gaz

03-05-2005, 09:30 AM

The YABSers are truly a group of overweight, highly-intelligent but underemployed, egoists who have long ago given up fashion for comfortable velcro fastened shoes and sweatpants. They drive cars that have at least one bumper sticker on their car that they got from the Ren-Fair and the passenger side seat has a collection of old coffee cups and 8th year senior thesis outlines on Chaucer and the Medieval Mind. They have animals named after Tolkien characters, are all homosexual and when they get together, they laugh a bit too loudly at "Monty Python" jokes and references to "The Princess Bride" and collectively emit an odor that is a combination of Aqua Velva and cheese.

That is a lie, right?
Some of it is... :o

OzBat!

03-15-2005, 02:12 AM

OzBat is really just a brain in a jar, the only way he types is through the monkey he mentally controls.Okay, funny is funny, but it's been a few days now and my MONKEY IS MISSING!!

And I've got this itch that I can't scratch! Without my Monkey! Do you know how frustrating that is??

BTW: Spackling tried out for the part of the Rats on "Princess Bride" but they were afraid of typecasting the role forever more.

Kyuubi dresses all his transformers in his sisters' Barbie costumes, and even had custom-made J-Bolt sunglasses made for each of them. His mom took away all their weapons though: by this stage they were dangerous enough.