View Full Version : Story time
07-31-2011, 07:39 PM
I wrote a book and here's the link: www.lulu.com/spotlight/zerodreamidea
There's also a Facebook page: Story Time by William David Cymbalist.
This book is a collection of very brief stories and perfect for those that have little desire for continuity or a 75 year history. Many of these tales are select memories distorted by fiction, untrue moments described as reality, and blatant lies presented as stories.
The ideas, advice, and possible rants included within Story Time are in no way indicative of my personal belief system and I retain the right to not be responsible for anyone else's actions other than my own. Read at your own risk.
Here's a preview that I created just for you...
The world is burning and all I smell is glue. The dogs are feasting while parents turn their infants into makeshift Molotov cocktails. At long last, the delayed Apocalypse is upon us and all I want to do is watch it on television. A friend calls me to say he's been shooting people in the head as a preemptive measure for what certainly must be next.
It isn't long before the power goes out and the riots get worse. A trip to pick up a six pack becomes a one man murder war. The reporters are armed and they'll shoot you dead if you don't answer them right. They don't seem to care about the sudden societal shift and the absolute uselessness of continuing their careers.
Surprisingly, I wake up like a flimsy plot device and a crystalized stone in my hand that once was a heart. How much time has passed? Too much. It appears that reality was reintegrated together like a drawn out comic book crossover. The improvements are few and cannibalism has become the norm. The Christians are serving Catholics tonight. Tomorrow, we dine on the Protestants.
08-08-2011, 08:01 PM
In an effort to gain some attention for my preview, I've gathered all my favorite fictional sock puppets to hype my product. Here goes...
zero_nil: This book is fantastic. A perfect blend of stream of consciousness spliced with cut and paste that will make you wonder why so few other writers use this style.
non-entity: Story Time is awesome. If I existed then I would've told everyone about this book.
zero=zero: It's as if I wrote the book myself. Amazing.
No one: The 100% Man or else made me laugh out loud. Thanks.
Negate: Everyone should buy this book.
So there you have it. The sock puppets united.
08-15-2011, 07:48 PM
If you glanced at the preview link for Story Time (www.lulu.com/spotlight/zerodreamidea) and read the first few pages... thank you and please feel free to give feedback.
The download is an astoundingly low 9.99 for 383 pages. If you enjoy authors within the range of William S. Burroughs, Philip K. Dick, J. D. Salinger, Henry Rollins, and Michael Gira... then give Story Time a try.
Every tale is about a page long or less (with a few exceptions) and you can skip around throughout.
09-12-2011, 08:52 PM
The day is lopsided like carpentry work gone awry. The potatoes taste bland and the gravy is flavorless. I get a glimpse into other lives and recognize that suffering is universal. The differences are merely details. I don't allow myself to be provoked. It's easier to be calm when I'm passing through instead of obligated to the same location. I've been trying to improve my reactions, control my temper, and stay out of trouble. I don't know how long I'll succeed at being professional.
The environment I work at isn't conducive to remaining calm. Anger, bitterness, sadness, neediness, loneliness, and pain are constants. It's difficult to say if hope exists at all. So many people choose misery. I distinguish between good and bad by using my own faulty judgment, morality, intuition, and belief system.
The criminal minded reveal themselves by actions, threats, and fear. Insecurity develops into guilt. Denial is used to protect one's self image. Every event is random. Intelligence is the reason we apply order to memory. We create a story line to the daily minutia of life. Perspectives conflict and dissolve into arguments because of ego. The dream of better days is a delusion of thought.
The distractions of entertainment don't alleviate the burdens we carry. I analyze my ideas to the point of redundancy. Even I'm bored by my attempts at philosophy. The hum of an artificial air conditioning machine is the sound of comfort and an answer to the wants of thousands. The recirculated air tastes of bitter coffee and untold secrets. Ants glide haphazzardly on the tile and I wait for this moment to end.
(9/6/05 and minor touch ups 9/12/11)
11-06-2011, 05:34 PM
Lonely visions, brilliantly striking occurred inside my tortured mind. I looked about the enclosure of my room and sought solace in the living room only to realize just how trapped I really was. It was something else. I paced about the floor, all the while having my brilliant observations tinged by annoyance. I felt like a caged panda. I sat and stared at my empty TV set. For a moment, I was blank. Ghostly apparitions fluttered through my quiet thoughts, voices of doom and I remained non-responsive. Never in a dream had I felt this depressed. My emotions drained like the kitchen sink. On the phone, a strange voice talks to me. All I know is that it isn't her voice. I haven't heard her voice in years and if I heard it now it would only make me feel worse. Niceness kills the soul or so I once believed. Destruction is brilliant or so I tried to convince myself. I want to put my fist in my face. I want to smash my head through glass. On the phone, I heard deadly logic but it paled in comparison to the truths she had taught me long ago. I almost longed to hold her and curl up in a fetal ball and die in her body's warmth. I remember her eyes clearly especially after she broke my heart. I never did let go of that moment but I'm watching it go now and it feels like something else, never a dream just empty voices instead.
12-26-2011, 12:02 PM
My friend read the book and had this to say:
"I read the whole thing and managed not to slit my wrists."
There are now some short stories available. Two of them are all new. These two are The Girl Who Loved A Vampire and 600 Words From Story Time. The other short stories are essentially edited versions extracted directly from the book.
Everything I write is suggested for mature readers even if foul language has not been used.
The Girl Who Loved A Vampire twists this romantic genre into what the reality would be which is the typical women in refrigerators trope.
600 Words From Story Time uses what was to form something new. This is a new story created from bits and pieces of previous stories.
Skip an issue of whatever comic you're not enjoying at the moment and check one of my stories out instead.
Or if you absolutely must get a comic then support the end runs of The Boys, Godland and Scalped. Other interesting comics: Wasteland, The Walking Dead, Fables, and Hellblazer.
05-17-2013, 06:25 PM
So I keep reading these articles about the nerd stereotype. Most of them are focused on The Big Bang Theory and how it’s against nerds. A few are about that King of the Nerds show.
The basic consensus is that these shows are harmful to nerd culture. Now, I’m not an expert on any kind of culture and this annoys me to enough of a degree that I’m writing this.
Nerd culture is something a group of people have created. Much like Punk, Goth, Hipster, Hippie, Metal Head, and so on. You pick a standard attire and dress up in it. Then you follow whatever rules have been made for that particular group.
After High School, the need for these groups diminishes to some degree. Perhaps if you go away to college, it extends the shelf life somewhat. None of that matters to what I want to say.
Stop identifying yourself as a nerd. Why would you choose to be at the bottom of the food chain. Sure, in High School, other peer groups may put you there but you don’t have to self identify with how they classify you.
The word nerd is now being redefined by a segment of individuals who wish to co-opt its original derogatory meaning. Why not come up with a new word instead? No one should proudly define themselves as a nerd. It’s akin to saying: “Hey everybody, I’m a loser.”
Don’t play the part. Don’t wear the uniform. Stop living in the past. The 50’s are long gone (this is the decade that I think promoted the nerd concept but I suppose it could stretch back further for all I know) and your time is now. Create something new.
05-21-2013, 06:27 PM
Further Excerpt From The Male Narrator Of The Couple intercut with new material.
I reinvented myself as a fictional character and became something else. I disguised myself in various voices but no one listened. So I went MTV land with late night blues. Questions are the things we use to examine existence and determine meaning. You’re not reading this because it’s too long and your time is deducting too rapidly. See it vanish like a receding hairline. Feel each second taken away with every word I construe. You’re being consumed by a paragraph. Quick, run away and be devoured by employment instead. Reality shifts and the clues are revealed in the grimaces of your face. Only the dead are worth praise.
06-08-2013, 07:40 PM
THE 100% MAN OR ELSE
I knew this guy once, he called himself ‘the 100% Man or Else. He had a unique habit. Whenever he entered into a food establishment with the detailed sign: ‘100% satisfaction or it’s free,’ or signs of the like, he would go in and order the best and usually most expensive meal he could. He’d devour it down (his inside tracks- digestive system worked differently. He didn’t need to keep food down, once inside, he was immediately nourished- 100%) and then go to the top (manager, host, hostess, whomever) and say he was not satisfied. Of course their dignity never held up under this kind of pressure. “The food is gone, patron.” His patterned response: “Yes, but I am not satisfied 100%. Exchange pro quid forum excelsior etcetera.” Insincere mocking: “But you have consumed…” And then knowing he wouldn’t get anywhere, he’d pull his or else trick. Loud retching noises would emit until finally he vomited on the antagonizing head of establishment. “Told you I wasn’t satisfied,” he would be ejected kindly but the meal was free. It always worked… like corn of can. Sometimes, when he was bored, he would pull this trick in finer establishments such as McDonalds and Roy Rogers. It was always good for a laugh. And on occasion he’d hire out his services to disgruntled employees. (12/22/93 & minor touch ups 7/30/09)
www.lulu.com/spotlight/zerodreamidea if you’ve got a desire to spend some money on an up and coming yet still unknown author.
06-16-2013, 06:38 PM
Neil Gaiman has written this sentence:It wasn’t just the murder, he decided. Everything else seemed to have conspired to ruin his day as well. Even the cat.
And then asked people to continue the story. (http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2013/jun/14/neil-gaiman-write-a-story?fb=native&commentpage=6) Here's my bit.
They just killed off his favorite character in such a blase way and the cat had to jump past right at that precise moment. This wouldn’t be a problem if he had a DVR or internet connection but money’s tighter than his wife and he had other priorities. Still, though. That damned cat. A stray taken in under pity more than kindness and a daily reminder that no good deed gets rewarded.
Sitting on the couch and wondering why his favorite show always had to take away the characters he loved most. He felt so powerless and emotionally drained. He imagined scenarios of how to spare the latest casualty while somehow simultaneously guest starring on that dramatic episode which he also would write, direct, and be acclaimed for devising such an extraordinary return. The accolades would be numerous.
Then as a smile crept across his face the way the cat did in the room, his wife spoke up and crushed the fantasy without even trying. “You’ve got work tomorrow honey. Let’s get ready for bed.” He regarded this with his usual indifference. “Yes dear.” What else could he say? He headed to the bathroom and returned to his meek fantasy which was becoming ever more unrealistic. Fame and fortune would never be his. He realized this every night and always while brushing his teeth. The mundane tasks of personal hygiene really does put everything into perspective. He retreated to the bedroom and waited for his wife. He could hear her in the bathroom and wished for the life of him that he could make her a movie star by his side. Anything to escape the tedium except actually trying.
08-21-2013, 06:19 PM
My other Guardian comment: http://discussion.theguardian.com/comment-permalink/21512535 or simply read on. It's verbatim.
Story Time by William David Cymbalist. This is also the title for my Facebook page.
www.lulu.com/spotlight/zerodreamidea for a preview.
Walking dead oranges are seen for a wanting dollar moment as I construe a stream of forgotten words.
Stories for those that desire a quick read and an offbeat attitude. A dark journey of shattered dreams and various regrets. A surprise happy ending that is merely a climax of brief resolution. For those 18 and above. Suggested for immature readers!
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.1 Copyright © 2013 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.