Joe Acro
10-25-2010, 11:35 AM
My family is currently having to deal with an unexpected problem and since we're having trouble thinking of adequate solutions, I thought I'd see what you all have to say on the matter.
Some of you may remember me talking last year about my Papa having passed away. We'll be hitting the anniversary of that in a couple months. Anyway, a few months before he died, we relocated him and Grandma to a nursing home of sorts in Charleston, South Carolina, near my uncle.
Grandma suffers from some form of dementia. I have yet to learn what kind, exactly. She has trouble understanding the world around her, has trouble communicating, and has seemingly forgotten how to do some basic things. I hear she has been making progress and has made some friends there, both great things.
Problem is, she's only paid up through the end of this month. After that, she won't be able to stay there. The primary reason for this, it seems, is that the money she is owed by the Veterans Affairs folks (due to Papa being a WWII vet) has yet to come through (even though it was filed sometime last year).
Since she won't be able to stay there and my uncle's family has no place to put her, he suggested she stay here with us. We, too, lack the space for her, though we can make some. That itself isn't really a problem. We have other concerns.
We have stairs. We don't know if she remembers how to use them. We could keep her upstairs, I suppose, by bringing her food. But that doesn't exactly sound like a good arrangement.
We don't have the training or experience the people at the home have to deal with people in her condition. What happens if something occurs that we can't handle?
Also, everyone that lives here, aside from myself, is employed. And I am actively seeking employment. If I got a job, who would take care of her? We've discussed possibly hiring a visiting nurse for her, so I suppose that's still an option.
But the real problem is that my parents plan to move. We don't know how long away that is, but we're concerned that Grandma might not take it well to relocate here and then a few months down the line have to relocate again.
On top of all of that, she once said she never wanted to become a burden to anyone. As my mom said, "We don't mind doing this for her. She wouldn't be a burden. But I think if she had the same mind now as she did back then, she'd view it that way." I think she's right. She'd feel like she's putting upon us. Which would mean having her be a dependent in a family member's house would be against her wishes, I imagine. How do we take care of her, affordably and safely, while still respecting what she wanted?
Some of you may remember me talking last year about my Papa having passed away. We'll be hitting the anniversary of that in a couple months. Anyway, a few months before he died, we relocated him and Grandma to a nursing home of sorts in Charleston, South Carolina, near my uncle.
Grandma suffers from some form of dementia. I have yet to learn what kind, exactly. She has trouble understanding the world around her, has trouble communicating, and has seemingly forgotten how to do some basic things. I hear she has been making progress and has made some friends there, both great things.
Problem is, she's only paid up through the end of this month. After that, she won't be able to stay there. The primary reason for this, it seems, is that the money she is owed by the Veterans Affairs folks (due to Papa being a WWII vet) has yet to come through (even though it was filed sometime last year).
Since she won't be able to stay there and my uncle's family has no place to put her, he suggested she stay here with us. We, too, lack the space for her, though we can make some. That itself isn't really a problem. We have other concerns.
We have stairs. We don't know if she remembers how to use them. We could keep her upstairs, I suppose, by bringing her food. But that doesn't exactly sound like a good arrangement.
We don't have the training or experience the people at the home have to deal with people in her condition. What happens if something occurs that we can't handle?
Also, everyone that lives here, aside from myself, is employed. And I am actively seeking employment. If I got a job, who would take care of her? We've discussed possibly hiring a visiting nurse for her, so I suppose that's still an option.
But the real problem is that my parents plan to move. We don't know how long away that is, but we're concerned that Grandma might not take it well to relocate here and then a few months down the line have to relocate again.
On top of all of that, she once said she never wanted to become a burden to anyone. As my mom said, "We don't mind doing this for her. She wouldn't be a burden. But I think if she had the same mind now as she did back then, she'd view it that way." I think she's right. She'd feel like she's putting upon us. Which would mean having her be a dependent in a family member's house would be against her wishes, I imagine. How do we take care of her, affordably and safely, while still respecting what she wanted?