SUPERECWFAN1
07-15-2010, 08:31 PM
Comic-Con is upon us. That big event where DC , Marvel , Image and whatever other company will be there hawking , whoring themselves out for your dollars. So as someone who has never been to Comic-Con in beautiful San Diego , I thought I should do this.
Because many of you will need my basic SURVIVAL PACKAGE. Which you can buy for $29.95. It comes with a video tape of me instructing you to survive that huge convention with hundred of thousands of people. So here is whats included.
1-) . Cologne and Air freshner :
Your likely gonna be around a couple hundred thousand , hard sweating fanboys. And odds are many will decide for the best spot in line they should camp out in line for days ahead. So that means not many showers. And smelling like they crawled off the street corner.
So in my package you get to spray the offending smelling fanboy with cologne or air freshner. If he complains just yell..."I'm removing the cursed spirits , may the power of the spirit command you !!"
This way he's gonna think one or 2 things. Either your fuckin nuts. And you maybe packing more than spirit cologne. Or your a religious nut who believes he's at Comic-Con to save people. Either way...you save your nose here.
2.-) Toilet Paper :
Now this will be valuable. With too few toilets and people running for the bathrooms , you yourself will likely during a walk thru look at booths of comics...will suddenly tense up. You will need a bathroom break asap. Damn its full as some old guy is farting !
You can't use your copy of ASM #101 for that. You need to use it. Suddenly ya pull out your emergency SURVIVAL PACK of TP. So you can go find a private area away somewhere...drop trough baby. You have the TP.
It beats shitting your pants . So this will come in handy.
3.-) Roll of condoms :
At some point you will find a poor fanboy who maybe with a hot chick. He will be wanting money and perhaps willing to sell his girl for a shot at quick cash. These condoms come in handy for this emergency . Because how many can brag they not only got comics , autographs , art etc etc....but now can say "I got laid at Comic-Con....thanks to the SuperE Survival Pack."
Or you may meet a horny fan who will want some attention. Same deal...the SuperE Survival Pack comes in handy here as ya can pull out that trojan and go have some fun.
In all the SuperE survival pack will ensure you survive Comic-Con , healthy , wealthy , ya gettin some and not crappin your pants. What more fo ya want ? Now RUN......RUN and buy this !
Because many of you will need my basic SURVIVAL PACKAGE. Which you can buy for $29.95. It comes with a video tape of me instructing you to survive that huge convention with hundred of thousands of people. So here is whats included.
1-) . Cologne and Air freshner :
Your likely gonna be around a couple hundred thousand , hard sweating fanboys. And odds are many will decide for the best spot in line they should camp out in line for days ahead. So that means not many showers. And smelling like they crawled off the street corner.
So in my package you get to spray the offending smelling fanboy with cologne or air freshner. If he complains just yell..."I'm removing the cursed spirits , may the power of the spirit command you !!"
This way he's gonna think one or 2 things. Either your fuckin nuts. And you maybe packing more than spirit cologne. Or your a religious nut who believes he's at Comic-Con to save people. Either way...you save your nose here.
2.-) Toilet Paper :
Now this will be valuable. With too few toilets and people running for the bathrooms , you yourself will likely during a walk thru look at booths of comics...will suddenly tense up. You will need a bathroom break asap. Damn its full as some old guy is farting !
You can't use your copy of ASM #101 for that. You need to use it. Suddenly ya pull out your emergency SURVIVAL PACK of TP. So you can go find a private area away somewhere...drop trough baby. You have the TP.
It beats shitting your pants . So this will come in handy.
3.-) Roll of condoms :
At some point you will find a poor fanboy who maybe with a hot chick. He will be wanting money and perhaps willing to sell his girl for a shot at quick cash. These condoms come in handy for this emergency . Because how many can brag they not only got comics , autographs , art etc etc....but now can say "I got laid at Comic-Con....thanks to the SuperE Survival Pack."
Or you may meet a horny fan who will want some attention. Same deal...the SuperE Survival Pack comes in handy here as ya can pull out that trojan and go have some fun.
In all the SuperE survival pack will ensure you survive Comic-Con , healthy , wealthy , ya gettin some and not crappin your pants. What more fo ya want ? Now RUN......RUN and buy this !