Spider-Man the Porno!

[Mister Mets]

Adult Film company Vivid Entertainment has announced that they'll be producing a series of "parodies" of established superheroes, including Green Hornet, Wonder Woman and Spider-Man. (http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=26167) Apparently, the publicity for Batman XXX has been positive.

I'm a bit weirded out by that they're also producing an Addams Family porn.

[Regulus B.]

Looks like all of Wertham's nightmares are coming true - and they're even going to include Robin (who just turned 18!) in on the action.

But if they're making one for Spider-Man, I have some misgivings. I mean, is their production really sophisticated enough to do a good job with the Venom suit?

[John Zaleski]

If i have to go through sins past one more time...

[Regulus B.]

If i have to go through sins past one more time...

What if they somehow got Tommy Lee Jones on board?

[Mister Mets]

Just thought I'd quote an earlier comment out of context here.


Norman is always going to be Spider-Man's top villain regardless of who he crosses swords with in the nearby future. There's too much history between Norman and Peter to be ignored. Norman has delivered too many major blows to Spider-Man to ever be replaced by anyone as Spider-Man's key nemesis.

[Karl Cook]

I thought they'd have gone with the obvious one: X-Men: Second Coming.

[Karl Cook]

What if they somehow got Tommy Lee Jones on board?

Throw in Yvonne Strahovski as Gwen and I'd definitely buy it.:biggrin:

[Regulus B.]

Throw in Yvonne Strahovski as Gwen and I'd definitely buy it.:biggrin:

Fine by me. All I ask is NO Topher Grace. The shouldn't let him within 50 miles of the production. Venom needs to be well-cast. I mean, his character was practically made for something like this.

[Karl Cook]

Fine by me. All I ask is NO Topher Grace. The shouldn't let him within 50 miles of the production. Venom needs to be well-cast. I mean, his character was practically made for something like this.

I think we can all agree on that.

[TomServo]

I thought they'd have gone with the obvious one: X-Men: Second Coming.

...or Giant Sized Man-Thing... :tongue:

[hotleggs]

ohhhhh i cant wait for marvel porn , if they make a movie out of it i would like johnny depp too play batman with the leather costume yum yum mmm. but i did hear batman is going too be gay with robin now that is not good but i would watch it hehe ;) and angelina jolie could be catwoman

[hotleggs]

what do you all think

[Karl Cook]

...or Giant Sized Man-Thing... :tongue:

Touche'!:biggrin:

[SpideyZERO]

Holy XXX, Batman!!!

[Regulus B.]

Touche'!:biggrin:

I don't think there's an 'e' on the end of that word.

[CyberHubbs]

Just so long as they don't get Evan Stone to play Peter Parker. That guy is in everything! He's like the Samuel L. Jackson of pornography.

Just saw the trailer for Batman XXX. Man, production values for pornos have really skyrocketed. Like, it doesn't look THAT bad.

[Regulus B.]

Just so long as they don't get Evan Stone to play Peter Parker. That guy is in everything! He's like the Samuel L. Jackson of pornography.

Just saw the trailer for Batman XXX. Man, production values for pornos have really skyrocketed. Like, it doesn't look THAT bad.

They have to keep up with the internet. I mean, nowadays all you need is a webcam and a lack of shame.

[CyberHubbs]

They have to keep up with the internet. I mean, nowadays all you need is a webcam and a lack of shame.

Don't I know it!

www.cyberhubbsonstickcam.com

[Regulus B.]

Don't I know it!

www.cyberhubbsonstickcam.com

Damn it, internet! :mad: Why must you fail me now?

[eSoldier]

If i have to go through sins past one more time...


OS-Porn! :eek:

[matthewaos]

I wonder if the love triangle will get more interesting.

[Lintu]

okay thought i saw everthing but i soon will have:evilsmile::evilsmile::evilsmile:

[EuphemismForSex]

This is porn I might be willing to actually buy.

[Crimson Knightman]

Just thought I'd quote something out of context here.

Heh. I may have to retract that statement, I don't want to give Vivid any ideas.

[Vakanai]

Okay, Batman XXX is based of the Adam West show, and Wonder Woman XXX of the Lynda Carter show.
What is this going to be based off of? The obscure live action show? The movies?

[Mister Mets]

Okay, Batman XXX is based of the Adam West show, and Wonder Woman XXX of the Lynda Carter show.
What is this going to be based off of? The obscure live action show? The movies?The movies would be the most logical choice.

[worstblogever]

Spider-Man, Spider-Man... Does whoever a Spider Can...

Giggity.


The villains are going to be worth it. Doc C*** is a gimme.


Although, the funniest thing I ever heard was the Batman porn that had the villain as, no lie, "The Pornguin". Why anyone would want to see him in a sex scene is beyond me, but hilarious parody name.

[Heroine Power]

The movies would be the most logical choice.

They should base it on the Spider-Man from the Electric Company and use the soundtrack from the 70's Spidey TV show because that sounded like music from a porno. Just listen to the scenes where he's climbing buildings, all that's missing is Barry White.

[Mister Mets]

They should base it on the Spider-Man from the Electric Company and use the soundtrack from the 70's Spidey TV show because that sounded like music from a porno. Just listen to the scenes where he's climbing buildings, all that's missing is Barry White.

I doubt enough people are familiar with the 70's Spidey TV show.

Meanwhile, it would be really creepy to base stuff in a porn on anything that has to do with the Electric Company.

[John Zaleski]

Just so long as they don't get Evan Stone to play Peter Parker. That guy is in everything! He's like the Samuel L. Jackson of pornography.

Just saw the trailer for Batman XXX. Man, production values for pornos have really skyrocketed. Like, it doesn't look THAT bad.

Hahahahaha. First thign I thought when i read this was "I wonder if Evan Stone will be Peter Parker"

[OverMaster]

They need a Japanese screenwriter *and* Doctor Octopus. It' a natural mix.

[arp2008]

Wow......since when did porn stop being taboo?

[CyberHubbs]

Hahahahaha. First thign I thought when i read this was "I wonder if Evan Stone will be Peter Parker"

He's the Riddler in Batman XXX.

[OverMaster]

Wow......since when did porn stop being taboo?

It still is. It's just society is bipolar enough about its hipocrisy now to have some lapses through which things like this pass by.

[Chris S.]

It still is. It's just society is bipolar enough about its hipocrisy now to have some lapses through which things like this pass by.

I don't know about that anymore. I think porn is slowly becoming less and less taboo. I don't imagine it will ever be recognized like the Oscars or anything, but I think people are a little more open to it.

[CyberHubbs]

I don't know about that anymore. I think porn is slowly becoming less and less taboo. I don't imagine it will ever be recognized like the Oscars or anything, but I think people are a little more open to it.

Well, they do have their own award shows which are slowly becoming bigger. :wink:

[Gabe De Los Muertos]

Wasn't there already a Spider-man porno? I think it was called the Amazing Spider-babe.

[Chris S.]

which are slowly becoming bigger. :wink:

Thats what she said!

[NuclearNerd]

oh the webs, oh dear egg of chronos the webs. :P

And if it's going to star Doc Ock, Aunt May needs to be a main, starring character.

The whole thing can end with a disgusted Peter Parker making a deal with lady-Mephisto to make the whole movie never happened, because Lady Mephisto wants the love that Ock and May share more than anyone's souls. Obviously, this deal would be signed with various reproductive organs mingling with each other.

[Blue Blazes]

Wow......since when did porn stop being taboo?

id say, since the internet...

the batman XXX does look pretty good, so im sure spider-man would be watchable ina weird kind of way...i bet he has "a natural web-shooter" like the movies too...:eek::tongue:

[Chris S.]

id say, since the internet...

the batman XXX does look pretty good, so im sure spider-man would be watchable ina weird kind of way...i bet he has "a natural web-shooter" like the movies too...:eek::tongue:

That was just wrong...

[Blue Blazes]

That was just wrong...

haha, i know...im sorry...

[Mister Mets]

Wasn't there already a Spider-man porno? I think it was called the Amazing Spider-babe.I doubt there's been only one.

Presumably, production values will make this one a bit different.


haha, i know...im sorry...
If they're making this a parody of the Raimi films, I'm pretty sure they're going to do that joke.

[Aziz Abbasi]

Barf, prepare your bar bags, or don't watch & you won't suffer

[striderhirryu2]

Wow......since when did porn stop being taboo?

In the words of Seth Rogen, "Porn has gone mainstream. It's like Coca Cola, except with dicks in it."

[worstblogever]

We're on page 3 and no one has predicted at least a cameo by the Shocker?

[Karl Cook]

We're on page 3 and no one has predicted at least a cameo by the Shocker?

I can't believe I missed that one...

[Tonyd117]

Scene: Daily Bugle offices of J. Jonah Jameson

JJ: Parker!! Get in here!!

Peter: Yes JJ?

JJ: I have a special assignment for you. This is my niece, Jenna. I want you to show her a good time while she's visiting the city. Jenna Jameson this is Peter Parker our staff photographer. Now get out of here! I have a newspaper to run!!

Peter: umm Hi...

Jennna: Hi. You're cute! Did Uncle JJ say you take pictures???

Cue the music..Bow chicka bowow...:eek:

[Regulus B.]

Maybe they'll work in that scene with Electro and that shape-shifter!

[worstblogever]

Maybe they'll work in that scene with Electro and that shape-shifter!

Yekaterina did have some possibilities.

[CyberHubbs]

Scene: Daily Bugle offices of J. Jonah Jameson

JJ: Parker!! Get in here!!

Peter: Yes JJ?

JJ: I have a special assignment for you. This is my niece, Jenna. I want you to show her a good time while she's visiting the city. Jenna Jameson this is Peter Parker our staff photographer. Now get out of here! I have a newspaper to run!!

Peter: umm Hi...

Jennna: Hi. You're cute! Did Uncle JJ say you take pictures???

Cue the music..Bow chicka bowow...:eek:

Too much dialogue for a porno. Hold on...


Scene: Daily Bugle offices of J. Jonah Jameson

JJ: Parker!! Get in here!!

Peter: Yes JJ?

JJ: This is my niece, Jenna.

Peter: umm Hi...

Jennna: Hi.

Cue the music..Bow chicka bowow...:eek:

There we go.

[John Zaleski]

Hey spot. see if you can fit all these in your holes.....


too much?

[arp2008]

So I take it you're all going to be watching some Spidey porn in near future, huh? Or will the more chaste among you simply skip over the sex scenes?

[Ryan W]

If MJ says "you just hit the jackpot" after achieving O, then I as a fan will be pleased.

If and only if.

[Regulus B.]

Yekaterina did have some possibilities.

She leaves for a moment to freshen up and shift, Spidey knocks her out then goes to capture Electro, assuming they're in cahoots, Electro sees him and thinks she's already changed...

[OverMaster]

I wonder if we're going to be introduced to the Sinister Sixty Nine.

[Big Red Spider]

I've seen one softcore SpiderMan parody already.

SpiderBabe Starring Misty Mundae

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0350146/

[matthewaos]

I wonder if we're going to be introduced to the Sinister Sixty Nine.

HAHAHAHA!!!!!



Too much dialogue for a porno. Hold on...



There we go.

Whith JJJ on the scene??!?!?!:eek:

[Aziz Abbasi]

I wonder if we're going to be introduced to the Sinister Sixty Nine.69? I do believe we'll be introduced to the "Sinister Sex":tongue:

[Jay R.]

Rofl. I would like to see him and Black Cat or some Miss Marvel action.

[Aziz Abbasi]

Rofl. I would like to see him and Black Cat or some Miss Marvel action.Years ago I searched for Spider-Man Black, trying to find images of Spider-Man from the Ninja Clan dressed in black, I found a sketch of Spider-Man humping "Black Cat" on a wall

[Jay R.]

Rofl. This used on search engined ad like.

[Beacon]

...or Giant Sized Man-Thing... :tongue:


Marvel Two-In-One!

[Drusilla lives!]

My question is who's going to portray Stan Lee?... he usually has a cameo in all these Spidey flicks. :eek: :tongue: :biggrin:

[Hawk I 21]

..When is this cumming (lulz) out?

[Tracer Bullet]

Ah I can see it now. JJ and Robbie double-teaming Betty in the Bugle, Venom eating out MJ, Spidey banging the Black Cunt on a rooftop. The sexual hilarity of it all!:evilgrin:

[Jay R.]

Peter and MJ could be interesting plot device then.

[John Zaleski]

Peter doesn't learn how to make his web shooters until he hits puberty

[IronMagnus]

With this movie being announced, now is a great time for Ms Marvel to be more closely associated with Spidey. :biggrin:

[Nightstar1441]

LOL -oh this is gonna be funny - like Batman - I'm assuming they are going to spoof it off of the TV show in order to qualify as a parody to avoid any legal issues

[Raptor]

Will web only come out of his wrists?

My favorite villain - ess would be Dr. Octopus

sy.

Though checking out what they have planned.

Two thingscome to mind.

I'm disturbed that I may watch some of it...I'm also curious if they'll do sequels if they do well enough.

Now for the rude part. My apologies in advance to anyone this actually applies to. Truly.

I'm sort of appalled they may be taking advantage of virgin fanboys with these things. I mean, nice they think fo them, but now they have less reason to go out make real contects and find real women :eek:

[Professor Moriarty]

now a spider-man porno would make sense.

http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd93/sopadetiburon/mary-jane-the-black-cat-marvel-comi.jpg

[KMACthaKilla]

at first when i saw this i was like "what?" but slowly i relized no matter how wierd, i would still like this more than spiderman 3.

[matthewaos]

now a spider-man porno would make sense.

http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd93/sopadetiburon/mary-jane-the-black-cat-marvel-comi.jpg

Awesome!!!!!

[Jay R.]

Two for one picture or would Spider-man be involved like.

[Aziz Abbasi]

..When is this cumming (lulz) out?It's weird that that word is a surname

I would still like this more than spiderman 3I love that movie, one of the best

[Regulus B.]

It's weird that that word is a surname

A surname of the purported musical Green Goblin when last I heard (and somebody who probably finds his last name more funny than embarrassing considering that slightly NSFW commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmdJEjJxYOY&feature=related) he did).

Maybe they'll get him to play the Goblin in this. He'd probably be up for it.

[ArmenianG]

Adult Film company Vivid Entertainment has announced that they'll be producing a series of "parodies" of established superheroes, including Green Hornet, Wonder Woman and Spider-Man. (http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=26167) Apparently, the publicity for Batman XXX has been positive.

I'm a bit weirded out by that they're also producing an Addams Family porn.

Well aren't you up-to-date with this koind of stuff.:biggrin:

[Beacon]

I do worry that they may be making things a little TOO easy for Greg Land with all this superhero porn.

[RDMacQ]

Do they even have a license for that ? i mean its not like they called it nutman,bat-man or bartman, but batman, can't they be sued ?

I think how it's explained is that it falls under the work of parody, which allows them to get away with releasing it.

[carloshll726]

Pornography is a very sad thing. Those people are gonna get aids.

[namor]

Imagine what the Rhino would look like..

[CyberHubbs]

Pornography is a very sad thing. Those people are gonna get aids.

Good pornography is actually very careful in screening their actors and actresses on a regular basis. I think you need a clean bill of health from a doctor before you're allowed to do each film.

[Regulus B.]

And how do you know all that :D

In this day and age I would be surprised if they didn't. Not doing so might mean opening themselves up to a lawsuit. And why would they want their actors or actresses to get sick? Who would work with them?

[Jay R.]

Great on the Land comment like.

[bloodaxe]

and i thought porn couldn't get any wierder.

[Vakanai]

Whith JJJ on the scene??!?!?!:eek

On the scene? Hell, the man will be the first with his pants off. He'll call in Betty Brant and make it a foursome.

That's right, I said it, the image is stuck in your head now.:evilsmile:


My question is who's going to portray Stan Lee?... he usually has a cameo in all these Spidey flicks. :eek: :tongue: :biggrin:

Stan Lee will demand to portray himself. But he'll also ask for his cameo include Black Cat and Gwen Stacey...

[Jay R.]

They need to bang Spider-Woman in the porn.

[AJBopp]

Is it wrong that I have more faith in Vivid Entertainment to do Spider-man right than Marvel?

[Regulus B.]

On the scene? Hell, the man will be the first with his pants off. He'll call in Betty Brant and make it a foursome.

That's right, I said it, the image is stuck in your head now.:evilsmile:

And his character comes already equipped with a cigar! And we all know how useful those are.

[CyberHubbs]

And how do you know all that :D

On a serious note, I watched a documentary about the hiring process once. This was a few years ago, but I imagine as the studios got bigger that they didn't slack on stuff like that.

[Kolymar]

MMM... I'd love to see their MJ, Gwen, Liz, Betty, Glory and the rest of Spidey's female cast. Well, not aunt May... or perhaps yes... who knows? I'm confused. :redface::tongue: