Superman is a dick

[DeusFlac]

http://www.allspark.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=58040&st=0

it first started out as a question as to how comics managed to stay in business with such corny ass covers, then it devolves into showing how much of an ass superman is.

this is my favorite.
http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1296/400/1296_4_081.jpg

[Gideon Quinn]

Look at the sadistic smile on his face.

[estee]

Why the hell is Lois Lane in outer space? Wouldn't Houston detect Superman's presence? Wouldn't they hear her screams of 'Superman's snapped my air hose because I won't marry him!'...Sometimes the old comics just piss me off to no end.

[CDTM]

http://www.allspark.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=58040&st=0

it first started out as a question as to how comics managed to stay in business with such corny ass covers, then it devolves into showing how much of an ass superman is.

this is my favorite.
http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1296/400/1296_4_081.jpg

I must hear more about this.

It was a clone, right?

[Sanagi]

The saddest thing is how so many of those covers imply that whatever weird twist they depict is permanent.

[CDTM]

Check out where it's linked from. Some absolutely hillariously bad covers...

Where the hfil did they get all those from? It reeks of Wrestlecrap.com, only for comic books...

[SuperSaiyaMan12]

it is official, PRE-CRISIS SUCKS!

[Wonder Bebs]

it is official, PRE-CRISIS SUCKS!
On the contrary... it doesn't suck, not really. Unless you're completely devoid of a good sense of humour, Pre-crisis DC is damn fine for a big belly laugh.

I wish I could find that cover of Wonder Woman getting turned into a Gorilla... that one's fuckin' classic.

[SuperSaiyaMan12]

On the contrary... it doesn't suck, not really. Unless you're completely devoid of a good sense of humour, Pre-crisis DC is damn fine for a big belly laugh.

I wish I could find that cover of Wonder Woman getting turned into a Gorilla... that one's fuckin' classic.
I have a good sense of humor, but I don't laugh at somethings that are soooo stupid that are not even funny

[CrossoverManiac]

You can't pay any attention to the covers. They always have an evil twin or mind control or some scheme to foil the villain or some tripe shit like that.

[SuperSaiyaMan12]

they are the only things that I laugh at. They are so bad they're funny!

[thewildeman]

That is sooooooooooooooooo freakin funny! I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything!

[CrossoverManiac]

I heard comics during this time sold so well, a title would be cancel if it only sold 70,000 issues (a hit today). And yet, comics now are better than those back then. Were comic book readers that stupid back then.

[SuperSaiyaMan12]

I heard comics during this time sold so well, a title would be cancel if it only sold 70,000 issues (a hit today). And yet, comics now are better than those back then. Were comic book readers that stupid back then.
probably

Character limit

[BrendanK]

I heard comics during this time sold so well, a title would be cancel if it only sold 70,000 issues (a hit today). And yet, comics now are better than those back then. Were comic book readers that stupid back then.
No, comics were cheaper then, and sold primarily through newsstands (Plus there was no such thing as Cable TV or video games)

[CrossoverManiac]

No, comics were cheaper then, and sold primarily through newsstands (Plus there was no such thing as Cable TV or video games)

Or anime or manga. Let's face it. Comic books are D.O.A.

[CrossoverManiac]

Here's the one Lois Lane comic that made sense.

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1296/400/1296_4_063.jpg

[Trystenn]

Here's the one Lois Lane comic that made sense.

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1296/400/1296_4_063.jpg
PFFFFT AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Finally, Superman has proven he is smarter than we think!!!

[thewildeman]

That question has been asked for years, unfortunately, those two ladies aren't the only stupid ones in the DC universe. Isn't amazing how he fools about everyone he meets?

That's kind of like me commiting a crime and getting caught by the cops, but they let me go just as soon as I pull out my roll of mentos! :rolleyes:

[Winterwolf]

The Fresh-Maker can save your ass, thats what TV has taught me.

[Hulk Strongest One]

Why the hell is Lois Lane in outer space? Wouldn't Houston detect Superman's presence? Wouldn't they hear her screams of 'Superman's snapped my air hose because I won't marry him!'...Sometimes the old comics just piss me off to no end.

And wouldn't space perfectly preserve his fingerprints?

[thewildeman]

And who's going to go get those fingerprints? You better have TWO rolls of mentos!

[Chou Blaster]

Yep, Super Man, Bat man, and Green Arrow are ass holes. It is a DC trend.

[Peter]

And wouldn't space perfectly preserve his fingerprints?

C'mon. Ever since Superman first showed up, nobody's bothered to fingerprint the guy, given the highly-obvious fact that he isn't wearing gloves. I really doubt they'd start now.

[thewildeman]

That was essentially my feeling on that.

[Atomic Horror]

I think my favorite is the cover with Batman and Superman forcing Jimmy Olson and Robin to dig their own graves. While Batman trains a machine gun on them. During this, we have the following dialouge:

SUPES: You both must DIE. But I have a code against killing...
BATMAN: So I'LL do it!

[Lucas Archer]

This happens to be my favorite color. It's so goddamn perverted.

[Tron]

Man, he was a real asshole back them, lol.

If he actually embraced the hate like that more often, I might learn to respect him more.

[Atomic Horror]

You have to wonder why Silver Age Lois Lane and Superman were ever attracted to each other at all. Both seemed to devote tons of energy to humiliating or harassing the other.

[thewildeman]

That actually made them a perfect match.

[CDTM]

Here's the one Lois Lane comic that made sense.

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1296/400/1296_4_063.jpg

LMAO!

That is fantastic!

Pre crisis ruled. JLA joke era had nothing on this stuff...

[Peter]

This happens to be my favorite color. It's so goddamn perverted.

*shakes head sadly*

You know, with all due respect, I *am* glad that the silver age is well-and-truly over, let me tell you.

[GUTB]

Superman is a deeply disturbed, psychotic nutcase. Don't believe me? Check out this review of Superman and His Incredible Fortress of Solitude! (http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/317.html) Warning: Not like the standard homo-erotic murderer you are familiar with, this is truly disturbing look into the mind of the Man of Steel.

[hitokiri_]

man, im starting to love this thread. gets better and better.

[BrendanK]

That question has been asked for years, unfortunately, those two ladies aren't the only stupid ones in the DC universe. Isn't amazing how he fools about everyone he meets?

That's kind of like me commiting a crime and getting caught by the cops, but they let me go just as soon as I pull out my roll of mentos! :rolleyes:
Actually there's ANOTHER pre-crisis story where superman starts by taking a real look at his disguise and concludes "It's gotta be the worst excuse for a disguise I've ever seen." However he then does a little studying, and it's revealed that when he first started going for the glasses disguise, his heat vision kept melting the lenses, untill he investigated his ships crash site, and discovered that by an amazing coincidence, the ships windshiled had somehow cracked off two shards that were shaped exactly like glasses lenses.

Further study and he realises that the kryptinian glass in his glasses has the effect of amplifying his 'super hypnosis power' causing everyone who makes eye contact with him through his glasses to see him as he tries to project in his clark Kent identity.

IE, the only reason his disguise works, is because he's hypnotising everyone into making it work.

[raoulduke]

Superman is a deeply disturbed, psychotic nutcase. Don't believe me? Check out this review of Superman and His Incredible Fortress of Solitude! (http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/317.html) Warning: Not like the standard homo-erotic murderer you are familiar with, this is truly disturbing look into the mind of the Man of Steel.

I love the fact that the only people saved from Earth's destruction happen to be all of Superman's friends.

Thanks for being such an elitist prick, Superman.

[GUTB]

This one proves what a deranged, petty monster this guy is...look at the expression on his face! If only you could bottle misery, eh Supes??
http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1296/400/1296_4_048.jpg

Now you know who started the survivor TV craze! That sick bastard...

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1027/400/1027_4_115.jpg

[Brian R]

A character is merely a reflection of those writing him. All these covers prove is how mental the silver-age writers were over at DC. If you look at the current Supes, he is the exact opposite of what has been shown on this thread.

[The MunchKING]

What was with that Jimmy Olsen Vs. Aquaman comic??

[Trystenn]

This one proves what a deranged, petty monster this guy is...look at the expression on his face! If only you could bottle misery, eh Supes??
http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1296/400/1296_4_048.jpg

Now you know who started the survivor TV craze! That sick bastard...

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1027/400/1027_4_115.jpg
Superman is SO cool.

[GUTB]

This sicko is doing what outside of a maximum security psychriatric prison ward?

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1296/400/1296_4_135.jpg

[Trystenn]

This sicko is doing what outside of a maximum security psychriatric prison ward?

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1296/400/1296_4_135.jpg
LOL why in Lois Lanes books Supes is always trying to hurt/kill someone?

[hitokiri_]

now this is just mean

[Trystenn]

now this is just mean
LOL, they keep getting funnier and funnier!!!

Jimmy: Please Sir, id like some more

Superman" MORE?!?
Thats what would happen if he was Oliver twist, ya i know that was lame but whatever.

[Trystenn]

Im jumping on the band wagon.

Superman is a Dick even to his own Son!!!


And to his Love!

[hitokiri_]

love and hate.

[Paradox]

Good lord! I think my brain is leaking out my ears. I just spent an hour and a half with that thread. Sure, I'd seen a lot of these before, but the sheer VOLUME is just astounding. Great stuff!

My favorite line in the thread:

"Did the Silver Age heroes actually fight crime?

Or did they pass the time framing each other for murder and withcraft, tricking people into thinking they're dead, murdering their friends, and generally playing pranks on each other?"

Pretty much, yeah. :p

[Trystenn]

I hate to say this, but God Damn Superman is a Dick!!!
Why do people think he is such a good guy? hell after this thread he reminds me more of Hitler or Stalin.

[Z-man]

now this is just mean

I dunno, it seems to be Jimmy's own fault he's in there, if he was going to ask for Superman's help getting out of it, something else must have gotten him into it.

And if Lois is too cowardly to break up her own marriage to Titanman, why SHOULD Superman bail her out?

[CrossoverManiac]

Because when people think of Supes, they think of post-Crisis Superman who is the exact opposite as someone else here said.

[Trystenn]

Because when people think of Supes, they think of post-Crisis Superman who is the exact opposite as someone else here said.
But, he is such a Jerk though...........Anyone have anymore scans though its damn entertaining to say the least, and while were at it lets get a couple of Spider Man beating up some crippled midgets :D

[Justy]

I hope Jimmy Olsen kicked Aquaman's a$$ for that glass of water.

[Trystenn]

I hope Jimmy Olsen kicked Aquaman's a$$ for that glass of water.
lol how funny would that be seeing Jimmy just whoopin on Aquaman for a drink of water, with Superman just sitting on a throne laughing at their pain.

[Justy]

LOL why in Lois Lanes books Supes is always trying to hurt/kill someone?

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1296/400/1296_4_135.jpg


Wow Supes and Lois were into some deranged S&M in the Silver Age. Who'd of thought that they were into snuff? :eek:

[hitokiri_]

But, he is such a Jerk though...........Anyone have anymore scans though its damn entertaining to say the least, and while were at it lets get a couple of Spider Man beating up some crippled midgets :D


crippled midget with asthma and scoliosis.

[Trystenn]

Wow Supes and Lois were into some deranged S&M in the Silver Age. Who'd of thought that they were into snuff? :eek:
Actually would make sense, Supermans is always strong and impervious, how much of a rush it must be to be helpless...................Ewwwwww

[Justy]

Concerning the issue of fingerprints and Lois' murder in outer space, everything would just burn up in re-entry so I think Supes is safe in that regard. On the ground all he has to do use is Super-Hypnosis power on the poor NASA scrub who may have been listening.

It is the perfect crime. Plus I don't think any terrestrial power would have had jurisdiction in outer space anyways. Supes is a damn genius.

[hitokiri_]

Actually would make sense, Supermans is always strong and impervious, how much of a rush it must be to be helpless...................Ewwwwww


i hate leathers and steels.

[Trystenn]

i hate leathers and steels.
Why what happened?

[DeusFlac]

i love how olsen's book is titled Superman's Pal: Jimmy Olsen, while all they show on the cover is either supes being a dick to jimmy or jimmy trying to kill him.

[Brian R]

You know what they say. When you got friends like that...

[DeusFlac]

no wonder superman was such a dick to lois pre-crisis, i mean look at that slut

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1296/400/1296_4_029.jpg

[hitokiri_]

push the earth, fly almost to heaven. there's nothing supes can't do. this beats the cripwalk.

[DeusFlac]

told you olsen was a dick

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1027/400/1027_4_121.jpg

[hitokiri_]

who feels like giving a butt a little spank

[hitokiri_]

supes is downright mean. dickness at its finest.

[Trystenn]

Its official, Pre Crisis (or whatever that is) is completely riddled with Dickheads.

[Trystenn]

supes is downright mean. dickness at its finest.
lol WTF he is a witch doctor now?!?

[hitokiri_]

lol WTF he is a witch doctor now?!?


yes he is buddy, yes he is.

[Brian R]

supes is downright mean. dickness at its finest.

That has to be the most amusing thing I have ever witnessed. I wish they made that in poster size so I could hang it on my wall.

[DeusFlac]

man even as superboy he was a dick

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/614/400/614_4_190.jpg

[Trystenn]

man even as superboy he was a dick

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/614/400/614_4_190.jpg
Jesus Superman is steadily becoming the spitting image of Stalin.

[DeusFlac]

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1027/400/1027_4_103.jpg
http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1027/400/1027_4_132.jpg
http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1027/400/1027_4_109.jpg

jimmy sure is some "pal" i think he's a bigger dick than superman

[yeoman]

You almost wonder why Supes went ballistic when Prankster and Toyman killed Pete Ross...

Anyway, we all know Aquaman crushed Jimmy's throat with his sea borne strengh and...

Wait, this is Pre-C Arthur. Man, Jimmy musta wuss slapped him soooooo hard.

[DeusFlac]

even batgirl and supergirl were dicks

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/216/400/216_4_169.jpg

[Brian R]

even batgirl and supergirl were dicks

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/216/400/216_4_169.jpg


This is why women just cant be trusted.

[Trystenn]

even batgirl and supergirl were dicks

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/216/400/216_4_169.jpg
Holy crap, even the most innocent, what the hell were the evil universes like?

[StoneGold]

After all this, is there really any doubt Julie was hitting on Collen Doran?

[hitokiri_]

poor poor robin.

[Trystenn]

poor poor robin.
....................
So wrong.

[Adrian Tullberg]

To any artists out there ...

... why not make modern versions of these covers?

[hitokiri_]

To any artists out there ...

... why not make modern versions of these covers?


ill try my own rendition of these arts.

[Justy]

lol WTF he is a witch doctor now?!?

Well I guess that puts an end to that whole Superman and magic nonsense.

[J Harper]

Christ on a crutch...

As I said on another board, though I all ready liked 'em a lot, these covers give me a new found appreciation of Stan Lee and Silver Age Marvel.

Jeremy Harper

[thewildeman]

Someone needs to put together a gallery of all these whacked out comic covers. Funnnnnnnnnnnnnny!

[DeusFlac]

Christ on a crutch...

As I said on another board, though I all ready liked 'em a lot, these covers give me a new found appreciation of Stan Lee and Silver Age Marvel.

Jeremy Harper


you sure about that?

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/3864/400/3864_4_034.jpg

[Michael P]

Y'know, the date "1992" right on the cover kinda defeats your point.

Given all these covers are mostly a symptom of the "hook-'em-with-an-impossible-cover" style so prominent in the Silver Age, one must wonder how the writers got out of these corners the editors wrote them into.

[Ghost]

This must be one of the funniest threads ever! :D

[Crinos]

you sure about that?

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/3864/400/3864_4_034.jpg

ow.

Ow. Ow. my fucking brain ow. Deus you dirty bastard, Ill get you for this. OW.

[OverMaster]

You have to wonder why Silver Age Lois Lane and Superman were ever attracted to each other at all. Both seemed to devote tons of energy to humiliating or harassing the other.

That would have made them a perfect modern age anime couple.

[OverMaster]

When Robin is willing to team up with a loser like Pre-Crisis Riddler to take down his own mentor, then you know they didn't name him 'Dick' for nothing:

http://www.archangels.com/db_detail.php?id=1279

[DeusFlac]

Superman and Batman: World's Finest dicks

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/216/400/216_4_195.jpg

[Ghost]

Now that's evil.

[ChaosBurnFlame]

even batgirl and supergirl were dicks

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/216/400/216_4_169.jpg

Actually that was Mxy and Bat-mite posing as Supergirl and Batgirl.

[Ghost]

But then shouldn't she be thinking: "Bat-mite and I have made those heroes has-beens!"? :confused:

[The MunchKING]

Superman and Batman: World's Finest dicks

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/216/400/216_4_195.jpg
Alright, I HAVE to know what happened in that comic...

[Trystenn]

Alright, I HAVE to know what happened in that comic...
lol thats what ive been thinking, but im afraid it might ruin the covers though

[Crinos]

Actually that was Mxy and Bat-mite posing as Supergirl and Batgirl.

Point is, you cant tell that from the cover.

hell, alot of these stories probably have nothing to do with whats on the cover.

[ChaosBurnFlame]

But then shouldn't she be thinking: "Bat-mite and I have made those heroes has-beens!"? :confused:


They had to fool the readers to buy it somehow. EDIT: Besides that would just raise SO MANY MORE QUESTIONS.

[The MunchKING]

lol thats what ive been thinking, but im afraid it might ruin the covers though
That one at least is just SO out of charecter, I have to actually know what went on in there...

[Trystenn]

That one at least is just SO out of charecter, I have to actually know what went on in there...
But what if its an intelligent and well written story? That would take away from Superman being a dick, which means Humor=Dead

[Crinos]

That one at least is just SO out of charecter, I have to actually know what went on in there...

that one?

Munch, I dare you, no. I DEFY you. to find one of these Lois Lane of Jimmy Olson comic covers where the characters dont act HORRIBLY OOC.

[Trystenn]

that one?

Munch, I dare you, no. I DEFY you. to find one of these Lois Lane of Jimmy Olson comic covers where the characters dont act HORRIBLY OOC.
The one where she killed, in her words "That bitchhoslut Lana" :D

[The MunchKING]

that one?

Munch, I dare you, no. I DEFY you. to find one of these Lois Lane of Jimmy Olson comic covers where the characters dont act HORRIBLY OOC.
Eh, the other ones were funny, and only sorta OOC. That one was just... over the top.

[Your Imaginary Pal]

I heard comics during this time sold so well, a title would be cancel if it only sold 70,000 issues (a hit today). And yet, comics now are better than those back then. Were comic book readers that stupid back then.


nooo, comic books were 15-30 cent back then.
So the readers wer like, this looks kind of stupi, but what the hey, it's only 15 cent. I'll live.

[Crinos]

Eh, the other ones were funny, and only sorta OOC. That one was just... over the top.

Oh and the one where Bats and Supes are making Robin and Jimmy dig their own graves so Batman can SHOOT them Isnt?

[Trystenn]

Eh, the other ones were funny, and only sorta OOC. That one was just... over the top.
Not really, it makes sense, now it all starts with Batman and the deterioration of his relationship with robin, he then catches robin in bed with.............................................. ...........................Jimmy Olsen!!!

[The MunchKING]

Oh and the one where Bats and Supes are making Robin and Jimmy dig their own graves so Batman can SHOOT them Isnt?
Funny? No.

OOC, Yes, and that's the one I wanted to know about.

[The MunchKING]

Not really, it makes sense, now it all starts with Batman and the deterioration of his relationship with robin, he then catches robin in bed with.............................................. ...........................Jimmy Olsen!!! :eek:
You aren't serious... Are you??

[Eliseu Gouveia]

even batgirl and supergirl were dicks

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/216/400/216_4_169.jpg

That´s one sexy Supergirl. :rolleyes:

[ChaosBurnFlame]

That´s one sexy Supergirl. :rolleyes:
That's actually Mxy.

[Justy]

That's actually Mxy.

That's one sexy Mxy posing as Supergirl.

[Peter]

you sure about that?

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/3864/400/3864_4_034.jpg

...

I'm not sure how much more of this thread I can take, that cover alone almost killed me.

Watcher, the things we never knew about you...

:D

[Peter]

That's one sexy Mxy posing as Supergirl.

For the record, I think Bat-mite looks sexier posing as Batgirl.

[The MunchKING]

For the record, I think Bat-mite looks sexier posing as Batgirl.
And I thought earlier you said you were unfit to judge such things. ;)

[Dizzy D]

For the record, I think Bat-mite looks sexier posing as Batgirl.

Know that this quote is saved for the future, so no dodging any Greek Goddesses anymore for you, mister!

Ah, I really miss these type of comics. The one with Superman and Batman cheering on Luthor and the Joker to kill each other, Batman&Superman playing 'pranks' on Robin, Bruce-El from Krypton.. brilliant stuff!

[Z-man]

Actually would make sense, Supermans is always strong and impervious, how much of a rush it must be to be helpless...................Ewwwwww

Somebody here watches "Drawn Together."

[thewildeman]

And Uatu looks so dam happy too! Please, please please, somebody put a gallery together! Show us where to go for laughs galore! This is awesome!

[GUTB]

Did you see the cover with superman as king of the world?

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/97/400/97_4_0000311.jpg

This is so Superman it's hilarious. It's just like the self-obssesed madman to do something like that. Can't you just see him sitting there on his S-throne with the S papal hat turning his nose up at gold, diamonds and women and declaring that every nation should fly S-flags? If that's not art immitating life I don't know what is!

[ChaosBurnFlame]

GUTB, no one's buying.

[thewildeman]

Somebody has that for an avatar, still pretty funny tho.

[Tommy]

This is so gay it is off the charts...
http://www.trenchman.com/cap/cap69.jpg

And then there is this...

http://www.urs4.com/Jimmy/Misc/comics/5.jpg

[hitokiri_]

This is so gay it is off the charts...
http://www.trenchman.com/cap/cap69.jpg

And then there is this...

http://www.urs4.com/Jimmy/Misc/comics/5.jpg



oh the irony.

[Tommy]

oh the irony.

Well you have got to believe that it is pretty dickish to ignore your friends because you have a run in your tights. As for the first one... that is a superhero being a dick in a whole different way. (Where is that giant hand headed? :eek: )

And these two belong on an episode of Melrose Place
http://www.socalcomics.com/ll52vfplus.jpg

http://www.ararchive.com/classic/images/loislane32/ll32a.jpg
What the hell?

[hitokiri_]

not only supes is a dick, he's also a damn racist!!!


http://tinypic.com/ncd9s


being an alien gives him the immunity just becoz he's white.

[Trystenn]

:eek:
You aren't serious... Are you??
What else makes sense? Put two and two together, it all adds up.

[Tommy]

And here is the romance that was never to be...

http://209.73.224.252/ebaypics/nsc/C321-082504-13.jpg

[Trystenn]

And here is the romance that was never to be...

http://209.73.224.252/ebaypics/nsc/C321-082504-13.jpg
Explains why he is trying to kill her in that first cover.

[Tommy]

http://photobank.ngccoin.com/cgcgallery/Jimmy%20Olsen%20%2378-9.8.jpg

Someone break out the champagne it finally happened.

[Trystenn]

lol Why the hell is the title of that book still called "Supermans Pal", even though every cover we have seen has made them out to be mortal enemies at least.

[hitokiri_]

http://photobank.ngccoin.com/cgcgallery/Jimmy%20Olsen%20%2378-9.8.jpg

Someone break out the champagne it finally happened.


superman as a paperdoll?! now ive seen everything.

[Tommy]

And here we have Lois putting the moves on Supes father? Fortunately Supes mother is there to Bitch slap her.

http://photobank.ngccoin.com/cgcgallery/Lois%20Lane%2359%2D9%2E8%2Ejpg%2Ejpg

[Mike Pothier]

My god, those old comic writers had to be on crack.

[Trystenn]

And here we have Lois putting the moves on Supes father? Fortunately Supes mother is there to Bitch slap her.

http://photobank.ngccoin.com/cgcgallery/Lois%20Lane%2359%2D9%2E8%2Ejpg%2Ejpg
Friggin awesome, that is so damn crazy, Lois is such a bitch :mad:

[hitokiri_]

My god, those old comic writers had to be on crack.


ask phoney bone about stan lee and steve ditko hitting on crack before creating something.

[StoneGold]

ask phoney bone about stan lee and steve ditko hitting on crack before creating something.
I don't think crack was around back then. It would explain Ditko's involvement in Speedball, though.

[Melbourne Mew Mew]

Well, this is far from canonical, but I like it a lot, so...

Here's Cyclops being a dick!

http://cartoons.sevspace.com/archives/s379.jpg

[Deskad]

not only supes is a dick, he's also a damn racist!!!


http://tinypic.com/ncd9s


being an alien gives him the immunity just becoz he's white.

Bows to ancestors, draws Kryptonite katana, and charges
...

"SHINEE!!!!"

[The MunchKING]

not only supes is a dick, he's also a damn racist!!!



being an alien gives him the immunity just becoz he's white.
It was alowed... We WERE at war with them...

[BrendanK]

ask phoney bone about stan lee and steve ditko hitting on crack before creating something.
Well, if you look at some of the stuff Steve Ditko drew with Dr. Strange, you'd suspect that the actual drug of choice was LSD.

[Scorpion13]

At least he has an excuse with Dr. Strange. What was his excuse with Nick Fury?

[Peter]

Know that this quote is saved for the future, so no dodging any Greek Goddesses anymore for you, mister!

...

Damn it.

Fine. But if I see a Greek goddess in a Batgirl costume, there's gonna be trouble.


This is so gay it is off the charts...

As said -- where is that hand reaching to?


And then there is this...

Wow. The big strong male superheroes are in the middle of a life-and-death battle -- while the female ignores them because she has a run in her tights.

This tells us an awful lot about the mind-set of the writers and editors, doesn't it though?

You know, I'm staggered that Superman and Lois Lane ever had anything to do with each other -- they spend pretty much every waking second making each others' lives miserable.

To say nothing of Jimmy. As said, for "Superman's pal", he seems to spend a lot of time betraying or trying to kill Superman. With friends like those, eh...

And I love Superman's grasp of logic -- Lois is putting on a Batwoman outfit, so *obviously* that means she's in love with Batman and is going to marry him. Who'd have thunk it?

[Dizzy D]

...

And I love Superman's grasp of logic -- Lois is putting on a Batwoman outfit, so *obviously* that means she's in love with Batman and is going to marry him. Who'd have thunk it?

You know, that makes me question a lot of my carnaval costumes over the last few years and what their true meaning would be. Freud has got nothing on Superman when it comes to hidden meanings.

[Yogi]

And I love Superman's grasp of logic -- Lois is putting on a Batwoman outfit, so *obviously* that means she's in love with Batman and is going to marry him. Who'd have thunk it?It's because of Superman's Super Intellegence!! Mere mortals such as you and I cannot comprehend his amazing deductive prowess that allows him to come to such conclusions.

[Peter]

It's because of Superman's Super Intellegence!! Mere mortals such as you and I cannot comprehend his amazing deductive prowess that allows him to come to such conclusions.

For which I think we should be truly grateful :).

[DarkSoldier]

At least he has an excuse with Dr. Strange. What was his excuse with Nick Fury?"It wasn't me! It was Steranko, I swear!"

[OverMaster]

Batman's dickness explained- he's a dirty alien! Wow, just like Superman. I'm startin' to see a pattern here...

http://www.cufon.org/comics/1950/DetectiveComics251.htm

[OverMaster]

Supergirl: Dirty, no good traitor:

http://www.comicsvf.com/cgus/336.html

Edit: Ahhh, what th' heck, the page won't allow me to link the exact issue, but just click on issue 313 and you'll get what I try to say.

[Phoney Bone]

http://www.milehighcomics.com/cgi-bin/backissue.cgi?action=fullsize&issue=48838240124%2093


I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!

[Phoney Bone]

Not only did Superman Play midgames with WonderWoman, it eventually drove her to a suicide attempt.


And look at the asshole who stood by and made a snuff film out of the attempt!!


http://www.delaurenti.net/images/ww219.jpg

[Dizzy D]

[image removed]


I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!


Edit: the image doesn't seem to be taking. Go here....

http://silverage.greatnow.com/covers/Lois_Lane_93.jpg

Sorry, hotlinking doesn't work either, but copying and pasting it in the adress bar works.

Mmmm... Wonder Woman doesn't seem to be bothered by the guys about to shoot her. She smiles too much.

[Phoney Bone]

Screw it.

I just went ahead nad linked a a Mile High page.

Here it is again, for your (and Superman's) pleasure.

http://www.milehighcomics.com/cgi-bin/backissue.cgi?action=fullsize&issue=48838240124%2093

What a dick!

[GUTB]

Haha. What a deranged, mean-ass creep. I tell you, Supes takes bone-chilling psychosis to the next level. This guy should get 10 different head pills a day to be even allowed to look at other people.

[Tommy]

What we have learned:

Superman:
Wants to kill Lois Lane
Thinks Lois and Lana are dumbasses
Likes to watch naked boys swimming
Likes watching Lois Lane tortured
Enjoys watching “friends” competing to the death
Forces Jimmy Olsen to live in a slum
Destroys a gift he doesn’t like
Will sit back and watch Lois marry someone she doesn’t want
Will send Lois to jail
Will force Lois to live in a tiny little bubble
Willing to let the city go to hell while dancing
Will force Jimmy Olsen to commit bestiality and is a witch doctor
Would kill thousands of children by drowning them
Would force Robin to peddle his lazy ass
Is willing to watch Robin and Jimmy Olsen be shot by Batman
Wants to be king of Earth and have all nations give him gifts
Is racist against the Japanese
Is completely insane

Lois Lane:
Will make out (implied sex) with any one in the JLA
Is willing to work with Lana to ruin Superman’s happiness
Is willing to use a baby superman to steal
Wants to marry Batman
Will travel back in time and try to steal Superman’s father from his mother

Jimmy Olsen:
Would fake dying to find Superman’s identity
Would kill Superman if push came to shove
Would sell Superman
Would torture Superman for Luther
Will sell Superman’s secrete identity

Batman:
Likes to watch naked boys swimming
Would force Robin to peddle his lazy ass
Is willing to kill Robin and Jimmy Olsen
Is an alien

Batgirl (possibly Bat Mite):
Steals Superman’s powers and wreaks the Batmobile
Is more concerned about a run in her tights than her friends getting killed

Supergirl (possibly Myx)
Steals Superman’s powers and wreaks the Batmobile
Is willing to sell Superman’s identity

Robin:
Wants to swim with naked boys
Is willing to work with the Riddler to put Batman in jail

The Watcher:
Is overly found of Marilyn Monroe

Wonder Woman
Is willing to kill Lois Lane
Is suicidal

[Phoney Bone]

Don't forget, Emma, Elongated Man makes snuff movies.


OH, SNAP! I just figured out who the killer is in Identity Crisis! Ralph was making his next flick!

[Peter]

Edit: Ahhh, what th' heck, the page won't allow me to link the exact issue, but just click on issue 313 and you'll get what I try to say.

Forget that, check out issue 395. The sexist undertones there are *staggering*. If something like that got published today...

...well, it'd still be an improvement over Austen's current run, actually.

:(



The Watcher:
Is overly found of Marilyn Monroe

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Ahem.

[Peter]

Superman:
Wants to kill Lois Lane
Thinks Lois and Lana are dumbasses
Likes to watch naked boys swimming
Likes watching Lois Lane tortured
Enjoys watching “friends” competing to the death
Forces Jimmy Olsen to live in a slum
Destroys a gift he doesn’t like
Will sit back and watch Lois marry someone she doesn’t want
Will send Lois to jail
Will force Lois to live in a tiny little bubble
Willing to let the city go to hell while dancing
Will force Jimmy Olsen to commit bestiality and is a witch doctor
Would kill thousands of children by drowning them
Would force Robin to peddle his lazy ass
Is willing to watch Robin and Jimmy Olsen be shot by Batman
Wants to be king of Earth and have all nations give him gifts
Is racist against the Japanese
Is completely insane

Don't forget...

(I'm going through some of those old covers...)

-- a money grubbing glory hound (#180)
-- a chauvinistic gnat (#395, although that probably ties into the others)
-- dead (#225)
-- the king of Atlantis (#244)
-- has a problem with secret identities himself (#237)
-- a wimp (#298)
-- a bully (#354)
-- public enemy number 1 (#374)


Oh, and check out 233 for sheer entertainment :D.

[Phoney Bone]

at least Superman never worked for HITLER!

http://www.milehighcomics.com/cgi-bin/backissue.cgi?action=fullsize&issue=42725251514%2032

http://immortalthor.50megs.com/cgi-bin/i/invaders-33.jpg

[hitokiri_]

http://www.milehighcomics.com/cgi-bin/backissue.cgi?action=fullsize&issue=48838240124%2093


I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!


i knew you're gonna love this thread.

[Phoney Bone]

i knew you're gonna love this thread.
This thread is almost as great as these....

http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?t=28999

http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?t=29256




Thanks, hito!

[hitokiri_]

This thread is almost as great as these....

http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?t=28999

http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?t=29256




Thanks, hito!


wth is a gay sandwich anyway.

[Z-man]

What we have learned:

Lois Lane:
Is willing to use a baby superman to steal


No, she deaged him and blackmailed him to get headlines, not steal.

[Phoney Bone]

wth is a gay sandwich anyway.
It's a metaphor for gay marriage.

[thewildeman]

Ugh, lets not ruin a perfectly funny thread with the gay marriage issue.

[hitokiri_]

Ugh, lets not ruin a perfectly funny thread with the gay marriage issue.


noones trying to ruin this thread. this is a fun thread.

[thewildeman]

noones trying to ruin this thread. this is a fun thread.

I didn't say anyone was trying to ruin it. I just don't want that to even accidentally happen. That political/religious argument doesn't belong here anyway.

[BrendanK]

Not only did Superman Play midgames with WonderWoman, it eventually drove her to a suicide attempt.


And look at the asshole who stood by and made a snuff film out of the attempt!!


http://www.delaurenti.net/images/ww219.jpg

Well, going way back to the Origional WW, there was always a barely disguised bondage submission subtext with her. Still it's to be expected when a comics company goes to a male psychiatrist who practices bigamy and asks him to make a female super hero for girls to look up too.

[Phoney Bone]

I didn't say anyone was trying to ruin it. I just don't want that to even accidentally happen. That political/religious argument doesn't belong here anyway.
I am not trying to drift this into the political realm. Hito sent me a private message to check this out cause he knew I dig this type of screwy humor. All I did was suggest two threads that I thought might appeal to others who are loving this thread.

Hito asked me what the sandwiches were about. I answered. I didn't go into detail on the topic on purpose. I apoologize if it appeared i was doing otherwise.

AND THOR WAS A RATZI!!!

[Atomic Horror]

Even Perry White (http://www.comicsvf.com/cgus/336.html) is a big jerk. (see issue 336)

[thewildeman]

Even Perry White (http://www.comicsvf.com/cgus/336.html) is a big jerk. (see issue 336)

I didn't see anything with Perry White, are you sure about that number?

[Ghost]

No Perry, though 336 does show more dickness from both Supergirl and Superman. Seems like we have ourselves a family-fued. :D

[Brian R]

Super Horse? FRICKIN' SUPER HORSE!?

And people complain about Krypto, wow.

[Rexamus Grumbo]

Here's a couple good ones.

http://img110.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img110&image=act289.jpg


http://img110.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img110&image=adv304.jpg

[Chou Blaster]

Here's a couple good ones.

http://img110.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img110&image=act289.jpg


http://img110.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img110&image=adv304.jpg


Incest AND a ptich to kill!

Listenup Super man: I ti sonly a Time Paradox if you too meet at same time, via tiem travel. Even then, you would destory yourself if you kileld Super Boy that way.

Wiat a minute, go on and kill him.


But if Re dKrpytonite did a fission to Super Man, did he has no right to destory Super Boy, as he is a clone, but hopefuly a much better Super Being.

Edit: On 359, Super Man gets his.

Mna, the Jimmy Oslen vs Super Man was insane! Look on 253. Remind sme of the stupidity of Matrix Reovlutions. Oh and King Super Mna get shis ass kciked by Metlalo, but it is a Clark Kent Metallo... The HELL!?

[Chou Blaster]

Oh yeah and REALLY check out number 357.

Super Man gets PWNED! He deserve sit too, jerk.

Man, Bizarro outsmarts him in another of these issues.

Edit: Poor Flash. 441, and anothe rissue had SUpe rMan trying to be ihmself AND the Flash.. What were they on back then?

[Genma:TheDestroyer]

Oh yeah and REALLY check out number 357.

Super Man gets PWNED! He deserve sit too, jerk.

Man, Bizarro outsmarts him in another of these issues.

Edit: Poor Flash. 441, and anothe rissue had SUpe rMan trying to be ihmself AND the Flash.. What were they on back then?


Good lord, we joke about little punks getting kryptonite, but it actually happened! Crap must have been sold in dollar stores!

Geez, it's no wonder Superfriends was so bad. It was obviousy made by the same retards who wrote this stuff.

[Chou Blaster]

Good lord, we joke about little punks getting kryptonite, but it actually happened! Crap must have been sold in dollar stores!

Geez, it's no wonder Superfriends was so bad. It was obviousy made by the same retards who wrote this stuff.


Spekaing of Super Friends, apparently Super Man was daddy to the Wonder Twins. Look at #410 fo rthe truth!

It is sooooo wrong.

[Genma:TheDestroyer]

Spekaing of Super Friends, apparently Super Man was daddy to the Wonder Twins. Look at #410 fo rthe truth!

It is sooooo wrong.

*Twitch*

*Twitch* *twitch*

*brain fizzle*


YYYYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrggggggg ggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

[Chou Blaster]

:Que Narrator as Chou is showen, trying to treat a Fallen Genma.:

"Chou, Destoryer of Minds!"

Chou; Gema! Hang in ther eman!

Genma: : Drooling, fro the horrible truth Chou presented with.:

Off note; Now I know, how a Lovecraftian monster must feel like.

Edit; And Suepr Man sold out to Humans in 296 to Giant Ants. #396 is a creeeeeepy foreshadowing of the future. SUpe rMna job sto the 13th Floor. (#448) # 434, umm how can Super Man have tooth trouble? As his teeth are super too!?

Man, did Super Man fight crime AT ALL!?

Guess not, as the SPHINX kicks his ass on 240. ANd he was too busy finding out about a Stone Age SUper Man. (#350.)

AHAHAHAHHAH! In 374, SUper Man ADMITS to being a dick. (Well in another way, really. He replaces it with Hyopcrite.)


Also he apparnetly had a mermaid wife, and a son. ALlo he had Aqua Man's job one point. (244 for that.)

Number 94 seems like a Innocent XMas special. But I bet Super Man horded the children, and forced them to kill eahc other. For the gifts.

[Tommy]

Check out #234 Superman vs. a giant flying skyscraper.... What were these people smoking.

http://www.comicsvf.com/cgus/336.html

[Chou Blaster]

Check out #234 Superman vs. a giant flying skyscraper.... What were these people smoking.

http://www.comicsvf.com/cgus/336.html
That was a being who could shfit into whatever, but dmant hat wa s adisturbing iamge.

#447 fo rthe true Orign of SUepr Man, screw the Escape from a Doomed planet, his writer iamnged him up, to save him from a Water fall base dwell, fall. (Gwahahhahah!)

Edit: You know what, the old comics got me thinknig. They are the closest thing in the old days, wat we got now on Adult Swim.

Yeha, Que the Sealab music, and make SUpes Stormie. 9or Aqua Teen Hungry force, SUpes voci eover via Master Shake.)

[Tommy]

More super pets in 266

Some old geezer in 251

Lois's ego trip on 198

Supergirl goes all black magic on 324

Everyone forgets Superman in 270

[Chou Blaster]

Perry is a Dick on 278. As he now has powers, and wishes to thank Suepr Man, by fighting to destory him!

436, it happens again, him tryin gto take SUpes job from him.

Edit:

510: luthor asks for help, but SUper Man LETS Luthor get shot. Man I love SUpes line.

530: Brianac asks for SUpes help, he is doomed of course.

540: Fate(?) and Zatranna put a hurt on SUpe rMan, dig the groovy color scheme!

[StrawNilla]

I know this is way off topic but, since Bizzaro Superman is the opposite of Superman shouldn't he be a she, and shouldn't she be ultra weak and really slow, wait, isn't Bizzaro Superman's moral values the opposite of Superman's? Okay, okay, I get it now. But seriously, wouldn't that be great? An ultra weakling like the one I just described just walks up to Supes and talks down to him, and instead of supes just ignoring her and walking away, he feels de-masculated at the fact that someone so frail and incompitent could just trounce up to him and talk down to him and then gives up the hero biz forever. The Ultimate Boy Scout no more! I can see it now....it's beautiful.

[Chou Blaster]

I know this is way off topic but, since Bizzaro Superman is the opposite of Superman shouldn't he be a she, and shouldn't she be ultra weak and really slow, wait, isn't Bizzaro Superman's moral values the opposite of Superman's? Okay, okay, I get it now. But seriously, wouldn't that be great? An ultra weakling like the one I just described just walks up to Supes and talks down to him, and instead of supes just ignoring her and walking away, he feels de-masculated at the fact that someone so frail and incompitent could just trounce up to him and talk down to him and then gives up the hero biz forever. The Ultimate Boy Scout no more! I can see it now....it's beautiful.


I think a Bizarro is the EXACT copy of a "Normal" except mind set is twisted around in reverse.

[Lurch]

On the contrary... it doesn't suck, not really. Unless you're completely devoid of a good sense of humour, Pre-crisis DC is damn fine for a big belly laugh.

I wish I could find that cover of Wonder Woman getting turned into a Gorilla... that one's fuckin' classic.


Exactly. In those days, I had my collecting habits equally divided between the Marvel stuff that I would buy and read over and over, and the DC stuff that I knew would be a geat read precisely one time. I still pick up the odd reasonably priced back issue for that same purpose.

[StrawNilla]

I think a Bizarro is the EXACT copy of a "Normal" except mind set is twisted around in reverse.
Okay fine, but, just picture it for a moment. Do you see it? Superman sitting in a circle of support group members crying while their leader is patting his hand and telling him "It's okay, you're among friends now." :D

[eJm]

This is probably one of the most twisted, disturbing and most insane thread ever made.

I wonder, is it up for a Corrie?

[eJm]

What we have learned:

Superman:
Wants to kill Lois Lane
Thinks Lois and Lana are dumbasses
Likes to watch naked boys swimming
Likes watching Lois Lane tortured
Enjoys watching “friends” competing to the death
Forces Jimmy Olsen to live in a slum
Destroys a gift he doesn’t like
Will sit back and watch Lois marry someone she doesn’t want
Will send Lois to jail
Will force Lois to live in a tiny little bubble
Willing to let the city go to hell while dancing
Will force Jimmy Olsen to commit bestiality and is a witch doctor
Would kill thousands of children by drowning them
Would force Robin to peddle his lazy ass
Is willing to watch Robin and Jimmy Olsen be shot by Batman
Wants to be king of Earth and have all nations give him gifts
Is racist against the Japanese
Is completely insane

Lois Lane:
Will make out (implied sex) with any one in the JLA
Is willing to work with Lana to ruin Superman’s happiness
Is willing to use a baby superman to steal
Wants to marry Batman
Will travel back in time and try to steal Superman’s father from his mother

Jimmy Olsen:
Would fake dying to find Superman’s identity
Would kill Superman if push came to shove
Would sell Superman
Would torture Superman for Luther
Will sell Superman’s secrete identity

Batman:
Likes to watch naked boys swimming
Would force Robin to peddle his lazy ass
Is willing to kill Robin and Jimmy Olsen
Is an alien

Batgirl (possibly Bat Mite):
Steals Superman’s powers and wreaks the Batmobile
Is more concerned about a run in her tights than her friends getting killed

Supergirl (possibly Myx)
Steals Superman’s powers and wreaks the Batmobile
Is willing to sell Superman’s identity

Robin:
Wants to swim with naked boys
Is willing to work with the Riddler to put Batman in jail

The Watcher:
Is overly found of Marilyn Monroe

Wonder Woman
Is willing to kill Lois Lane
Is suicidal
If all that does not make this thread the finest ever made, I dunno what is!

[Michael P]

Check out this story synopsis from Superman #95:

Superman sets out to teach Jimmy Olsen a well-deserved lesson in the follies of showing off, only to have his well-intentioned efforts backfire when a series of bizarre coincidences combine to convince Jimmy - as well as his employers on the Daily Planet - that he has somehow become endowed with the extraordinary abilities of a "super-reporter," enabling him to unravel unsolved crimes and perform other journalistic miracles by means of his remarkable, inexplicable "sixth sense" for news. Unwilling to publicly humiliate Jimmy, Superman feels obligated, for a time, to make his young pal's wildly improbably news "hunches" appear to come true, as when he surreptitiously entices a Metropolis numbers racketeer into making an attempt on the life of a city councilman after Jimmy has predicted that such an attempt will take place. Ultimately, however, Superman confides to Jimmy that it is he who has been responsible for Jimmy's reportorial super-feats, and, although the two friends never divulge the truth to Jimmy's colleagues on the Daily Planet, it is clear that Jimmy has learned a must-needed lesson in humility.

That's right: Superman talked a mob boss into ordering a hit on a city councilman, just to teach Jimmy a lesson.

The dick.

[Ghost]

Spekaing of Super Friends, apparently Super Man was daddy to the Wonder Twins. Look at #410 fo rthe truth!

It is sooooo wrong.

But... If he's Kryptonian or half-Kryptonian (we don't know who the mother is, probably Lilith or something going by that title) what are they going to do to him, anyway?

Hey, that's a scary thought: a kryptonian/demon hybrid! :eek:

Supergirl goes all black magic on 324

Speak of the devil... :rolleyes:

[Ghost]

That was a being who could shfit into whatever, but dmant hat wa s adisturbing iamge.

He's obviously fighting Tsubasa Kurenai from Ranma½! :D
(I don't even want to know why, though.)

Edit: Here's some more amusing covers:

243: Whaddaya know? Superman has a furry-fetish! :D
170: Clearly, this man is psychotic.
333: The true face of Superman?
352. Superman has turned to stone. People's first reaction is to beat on him with sledgehammers. Hmmm.
358: Superman kills again!
584: Superman murders the Teen Titans!
421: ...That's not who I think it is, is it?
579: Superman vs Asterix! Now I've seen everything! :eek:

[Chou Blaster]

He's obviously fighting Tsubasa Kurenai from Ranma½! :D
(I don't even want to know why, though.)

Edit: Here's some more amusing covers:

243: Whaddaya know? Superman has a furry-fetish! :D
170: Clearly, this man is psychotic.
333: The true face of Superman?
352. Superman has turned to stone. People's first reaction is to beat on him with sledgehammers. Hmmm.
358: Superman kills again!
584: Superman murders the Teen Titans!
421: ...That's not who I think it is, is it?
579: Superman vs Asterix! Now I've seen everything! :eek:


421: I am Pop Eye the Sailor Man!

(Must have eaten SPinach, they change dhis name due to Copy Right, Cheap ass DC.)

380: Once again, get into the levle of Dickness Supes is at.

376: Super Man, PWNED!

467 pretty much sums up this thread.

[gambit293]

These are hilarious! I hope somebody does collect all of these and build a website.

But it is understandable why the comics seem so bizarre today. With such limited media back then, comics had to please such a wide variety of audiences and tastes. So basically take all the "quality" entertainment that you find in:

Fear Factor, Sex in the City, Desperate Housewives, daytime soaps, American Idol, Survivor, WCW, the Apprentice, Elimidate, the Real World, the Swan, and ALL other reality shows....

...and condense it into comic books.

It kind of reminds me of the commentary in "Iron Monkey" by Quentin Tarantino. He noted that back in the day, Chinese audiences expected to get good bang for their buck when going to the theater; they expected to experience the entire spectrum of human emtion in one showing. That's why Chinese action movies seem so schizo when viewed by Americans; they are deadly serious one second and then bizarrely wacky the next.

[Adrian Tullberg]

It kind of reminds me of the commentary in "Iron Monkey" by Quentin Tarantino. He noted that back in the day, Chinese audiences expected to get good bang for their buck when going to the theater; they expected to experience the entire spectrum of human emtion in one showing. That's why Chinese action movies seem so schizo when viewed by Americans; they are deadly serious one second and then bizarrely wacky the next.

Chinese cinema: entertainment for the bipolar.

[Michael P]

584: Superman murders the Teen Titans!
Not to ruin your fun, but that one was a body-swap.

[Peter]

579: Superman vs Asterix! Now I've seen everything! :eek:

You know, if I hadn't seen that with my own two eyes, I would never have believed it.

[Peter]

Dudes...

Just check out 416. He really is a dick, ain't he then?

(and with all these other covers, the caption in yellow at the bottom of cover 419 shouldn't really be a surprise, should it?)

[Ghost]

Not to ruin your fun, but that one was a body-swap.

Oh sure! That's what he wants you to think! :D

[Crinos]

check out 461. DC earth finally realizes superman is a dick.

[Chou Blaster]

241. Super Man is a dumb ass too.

:SUpe rmna suing giant key.:

"I wonder who can manage this key?

:And it is to Fort Super Man, Fortress of SOlitude, in neon lights below said fortress.:

[OverMaster]

CHECK THIS OUT! Massive, hilarious Pre-Crisis dickness!

http://www.dailyraider.com/comics/fuckedupcomics/fuckedupcomics.php

http://www.dailyraider.com/comics/fuckedupcomics2/fuckedupcomics2.php

[Michael P]

Bumping this because the new issue of Comics Buyer's Guide (issue 1602, has Christian Bale as Batman on the cover) has an article by Craig "Mr. Silver Age" Shutt on the bizarre relationship of Superman and Lois in the Silver Age. I'm pretty sure some of the comics in this thread are mentioned.

[Hulk Strongest One]

no wonder superman was such a dick to lois pre-crisis, i mean look at that slut

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1296/400/1296_4_029.jpg

At this point, if Batman were smart (and not truly interested in Robin -- yes, it's a long shot) he'd go make a play for Lana or whoever the blonde is. As suggested in "A Beautiful Mind", because he went to her instead of the "super-hot Lois", the blonde would be very flattered, and respond positively.

Of course, again, that's a long shot on Batman's attitude, looking at how he's reaching around Aquaman's chest.

[UncleBob]

Ahh Batman, you never cease to amaze me with finding ways to get Robin to put his mouth on your chest!

http://www.moviepoopshoot.com/comics101/images/2003/dec10/emblem.jpg

[Michael P]

"And since it's right overhead, the crooks can't glimpse it!"

Unless they, y'know, look up.

[Celisasu]

"And since it's right overhead, the crooks can't glimpse it!"

Unless they, y'know, look up.


It's a good thing your average criminal likes to lock your average heroes in a room by themselves where they can get away huh? Pity real criminals don't have the IQ of braindead chimpanzees.

[Kraah]

I'm not going to bother rereading 14 pages to see if anyone has posted this.

http://img8.photobucket.com/albums/v26/liviapenn/robotspank.jpg

[StrawNilla]

I'm not going to bother rereading 14 pages to see if anyone has posted this.

http://img8.photobucket.com/albums/v26/liviapenn/robotspank.jpg
Now that's just too perverted, even if it is a "simple time."

[Phoney Bone]

That last panel could be interpreted as going way beyond spanking when read by itself!


Or maybe I'm just a dirty old man.

[Kraah]

No, you're not. I was just about to post that myself actually.

[Peter]

Superman himself programmed those robots, didn't he? You know, the illicit spanking games are bad enough, but...

"I couldn't sit down all night, after what that robot did to me!"

Bloody freakin' hell. I would *kill* to see somebody try and get that past today's editors/censors, I really would.

[The MunchKING]

Superman himself programmed those robots, didn't he? You know, the illicit spanking games are bad enough, but...

"I couldn't sit down all night, after what that robot did to me!"

Bloody freakin' hell. I would *kill* to see somebody try and get that past today's editors/censors, I really would.
Are you kidding??

After that OTHER superguy?? That would be TAME stuff...

[GUTB]

F that. Bring back the Silver Age Superman-Supergirl relationship!

Superman: "The girl I'd mary would be super just like you! Of course we can't get married because it's against the law for cousins to marry...except in some countries. I'm just saying."

Supergirl: "A girl like me...let me check out the super-computer...ah-ha, here's woman who's just like me except older!"

Superman: "...!" [immediately flies to alien world to propose, but it doesn't work out as she can't survive under yellow suns] "What me get married? Never!"

Supergirl Freind: "Hey Supergirl I think your cousin wants to marry you!"

Supergirl: "HA HA HA! You silly goose, he wants to marry a girl like me, not me!"

[Tommy]

http://img141.exs.cx/img141/4428/2799wa.jpg

Lois and Lana are up to their old tricks again.

[Kraah]

No wonder he was a dick back then.

[Flawless P]

Man I think i may die this is too much.. it's almost as bad as when supes cloned himself into red and blue supermen. and one married Lana the other Lois and and lived as A. Kal-El and the other as B. Clark Kent.

[Sir Christopher]

There's still more gems at that cover site:

#398, Superman gets hip with the kids.
#400, did someone mention beastiality?
#408, he outright refuses to save a doomed astronaut.
#336, "Superman Goes Wild," order your DVD today!
#296, Super-Ant-Man captures Lois to be his hive queen?!? (I think that one was red kryptonite...)
#325... I have no words.
#244, Superman abandons the surface world to go Aquaman style.
#195, Lois Lane becomes a pirate!
#149, Lois watches Jor-El and Lara's home movies to learn a few tricks in the dating game. (Somebody get Freud on the Ouija board, he'd have a field day with this one!)
#200, "The Test of a Warrior," some test, Mr. I Define Invulnerability.
#337... what?
#225, this is how the 90s Death of Superman should've happened!

[BoosterBronze]

best. thread. ever.

[UncleBob]

http://www.nationallampoon.com/supermanisadick/

[Flawless P]

Wow SUPERMAN IS A SUPREME DICK
He had a machine to look through time and couldnt tell batman that his parents would be murdered in cold blood right in front of him?

[Jack]

Haha, I like the one that has the son of Jimmy and Lucy Lane marrying the daughter of Clark and Lois... Lane.

Maybe the rampant incest explains why SA humanity were such morons.

[Ghost]

best. thread. ever.

What he said.

[JerrBear81]

This happens to be my favorite color. It's so goddamn perverted.

LMAO! Yes it is.

[JerrBear81]

Wow Supes and Lois were into some deranged S&M in the Silver Age. Who'd of thought that they were into snuff? :eek:

LMAO that's a good one!

[JerrBear81]

no wonder superman was such a dick to lois pre-crisis, i mean look at that slut

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1296/400/1296_4_029.jpg

I though Green Arrow was gay?

[SuperSaiyaMan12]

I though Green Arrow was gay?
He is married to Dinah Lance, aka the Black Canary, and that's a she.

[JerrBear81]

He is married to Dinah Lance, aka the Black Canary, and that's a she.

Hmm maybe it's some other Green Arrow I'm thinking of. I'll have to check my source.

[SuperSaiyaMan12]

Hmm maybe it's some other Green Arrow I'm thinking of. I'll have to check my source.
Or maybe you're thinking of Pre-Crisis Batman and Robin

[Jack]

Ollie is neither gay nor married to Dinah.

His son, Connor, may be gay but last I knew it was unconfirmed.

[SuperSaiyaMan12]

Hmm maybe it's some other Green Arrow I'm thinking of. I'll have to check my source.
Here is a pic I found of Black Canary:
http://www.sknightsanctuary.com/pics/af/btbc.jpg

[JerrBear81]

Or maybe you're thinking of Pre-Crisis Batman and Robin

Probably. But my source is a page of Gay and Possibly Gay or Bi Superheroes, and he was one of the possibles so it's probably just speculatory.

Just to stay on-topic, Superman is obviously gay. My gaydar goes off whenever I see him.

[SuperSaiyaMan12]

Probably. But my source is a page of Gay and Possibly Gay or Bi Superheroes, and he was one of the possibles so it's probably just speculatory.

Just to stay on-topic, Superman is obviously gay. My gaydar goes off whenever I see him.
Yet, now he is married to Lois Lane, who is actually a smart woman in the Post-Crisis Era of DC, and he is kind of smart now.

[OverMaster]

Yet, now he is married to Lois Lane, who is actually a smart woman in the Post-Crisis Era of DC, and he is kind of smart now.

Unless, of course, Austen is writing him.

[JerrBear81]

Yet, now he is married to Lois Lane, who is actually a smart woman in the Post-Crisis Era of DC, and he is kind of smart now.

Lois is just his beard and f@g-hag :p

Supes is a closet-case, which explains why he's such a dick lol!

[JerrBear81]

Ok it seems that the webpage that was my source has either removed Green Arrow's Son or I saw it on another page.

The funniest Supes cover for me is this one:

http://www.nationallampoon.com/supermanisadick/images/dick/006.jpg

[SuperSaiyaMan12]

Lois is just his beard and f@g-hag :p

Supes is a closet-case, which explains why he's such a dick lol!
Only Pre-Crisis Superman was a dick. This is what post-crisis Lois Kent looks like:
http://www.muellertourney.com/toon_images/faces/faceloislane.jpg

[JerrBear81]

Only Pre-Crisis Superman was a dick. This is what post-crisis Lois Kent looks like:
http://www.muellertourney.com/toon_images/faces/faceloislane.jpg

Well I'm only joking around anyway :D

[Michael P]

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/614/400/614_4_096.jpg

Pete Ross is a dick, too.

[Crinos]

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/614/400/614_4_096.jpg

Pete Ross is a dick, too.

who the fuck is Pete Ross again?

Incidentially, check it out...

Superman is a dick is sweeping the nation! (http://www.superdickery.com/)

[yeoman]

Only Pre-Crisis Superman was a dick.

Nah, now he heats visions people's kneecaps to stop them. He's still a dick.

[Michael P]

who the fuck is Pete Ross again?
[/URL]
Clark's best friend from Smallville. Ended up marrying Lana Lang.

[Chou Blaster]

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/614/400/614_4_096.jpg

Pete Ross is a dick, too.


So that is where Pre Crisis Super Man came up with the "Take them into Desert, to DIE!" Routine from.

[Peter]

Superman is a dick is sweeping the nation! (http://www.superdickery.com/)

Did we start that? 'Cause that's kind of cool.

*looks at the Pete Ross scan*

So, Pete did it to Clark, then Clark did it to Aquaman and Jimmy. It's such a vicious circle, ain't it?

[Jack]

Clark's best friend from Smallville. Ended up marrying Lana Lang.
Currently US President.

[MegaRaptor Scribe]

This place didn't start it, Peter. The Allspark did.

[Chou Blaster]

I thought Pete Ross is Vice President, and Lex is THE president. (Or President before Lex?)

Oh and ALl Spark starte dthe movement, we just helped speard it.

[OverMaster]

I thought Pete Ross is Vice President, and Lex is THE president. (Or President before Lex?)

After the events of Superman/Batman 6, Luthor is no more President.

[Chou Blaster]

After the events of Superman/Batman 6, Luthor is no more President.


Ohhh. But I thought that was Hamaed due to Jobber Seid Killing SUper Girl.

And have you elarne danyhing from this thread/

Supe rMan/Bat Man issues tend to not make sense.

[OverMaster]

Ohhh. But I thought that was Hamaed due to Jobber Seid Killing SUper Girl.

And have you elarne danyhing from this thread/

Supe rMan/Bat Man issues tend to not make sense.

It is Hamaed here in the board, but silly DC still will take it for canon. :rolleyes: