Im not trying to be a whiner or anything

[YoungG03]

And I know I did wrong but dang its like im going thru hell or a nightmare. I try to do therite thng but islipped sometimes. I only writin to get this off me.

I in a good relationship. been for the last two yrs. but my dumb ass had to go and see what else is out there (cause i ony been wit 3). 9 months lata i supposedly got a kid. The lady dont care too much of me which is understandable..i geuss she thought she was gittin a nice guy.

Now i gotta tell this to my fiance which is hrder than takin a bullet, commit to people i have no bond with and dna testing and crap.

I pray this could go away but i guess this is my punishement....

[Dreadstar]

It could have been worse. It could have been HIV.

Wrap it.

[Acecool]

And I know I did wrong but dang its like im going thru hell or a nightmare. I try to do therite thng but islipped sometimes. I only writin to get this off me.

I in a good relationship. been for the last two yrs. but my dumb ass had to go and see what else is out there (cause i ony been wit 3). 9 months lata i supposedly got a kid. The lady dont care too much of me which is understandable..i geuss she thought she was gittin a nice guy.

Now i gotta tell this to my fiance which is hrder than takin a bullet, commit to people i have no bond with and dna testing and crap.

I pray this could go away but i guess this is my punishement....

No your right, it is your fault.

Three things bug me about this.

1st. It was painful to read your writing. Not that I am a stickler for everything being perfect, but it should be easier to read.

2nd. You did it in the first place. It always bugs me when people do stupid things.

3rd. You got caught in an easily avoidable way. It bugs me just as much when people aren't careful enough to get away with it

[ninja Ross]

And I know I did wrong but dang its like im going thru hell or a nightmare. I try to do therite thng but islipped sometimes. I only writin to get this off me.

I in a good relationship. been for the last two yrs. but my dumb ass had to go and see what else is out there (cause i ony been wit 3). 9 months lata i supposedly got a kid. The lady dont care too much of me which is understandable..i geuss she thought she was gittin a nice guy.

Now i gotta tell this to my fiance which is hrder than takin a bullet, commit to people i have no bond with and dna testing and crap.

I pray this could go away but i guess this is my punishement....

You cheated. Own up. Sorry, but this sort of thing is just that black and white. What's worse is, you cheated because you could. You cheated for shits and giggles and then you bitch and moan about the consequences.

Sorry if that seems harsh. But it was meant to be harsh.

[Chris N]

Yeah, actions have consequences. Good luck working it all out.

[Zero Hunter]

Chances are pretty good it is over between you and your fiance. The fact that you cheated is bad enough, and could maybe be forgiven, but the fact that you got onther girl pregant is probably going to be a deal breaker. Especially since you had already been with her over a year when you cheated.

Get the DNA test and if its yours step up and be a good dad and learn to be a better person in the future.

[Donald M.]

You may not be trying to be a whiner, but you've succeeded at it anyway.

As I recall from the cheating thread a while back not everyone will agree on how bad the thing you did was, but I think everyone will agree that manning up accepting the consequences of your actions is the only valid choice here.

[Shellhead]

Unprotected sex feels great at the time.

Child support payments do not feel great, and last 18 years.

[Omega Alpha]

Well, you possibly destroyed a (by what you described) a healthy and loving relationship for acting impulsevely, and put your and your girlfriend's health at risk for having sex unprotected so, yeah, you screwed up. If the girlfriend is willing to accept you back, you're lucky. If she doesn't, too bad, but you should have seen it coming.

But the most important is, if kid is yours, then be the best father you can be and don't blame him/her for your problems. Not too many people have the chance of see something good come out of their mistakes (other than learning from them), so don't waste it too.

[The Black Guardian]

Get the DNA test first. If it's negative, then consider yourself lucky, don't look back, and learn a valuable lesson.

[YoungG03]

Well, you possibly destroyed a (by what you described) a healthy and loving relationship for acting impulsevely, and put your and your girlfriend's health at risk for having sex unprotected so, yeah, you screwed up. If the girlfriend is willing to accept you back, you're lucky. If she doesn't, too bad, but you should have seen it coming.

But the most important is, if kid is yours, then be the best father you can be and don't blame him/her for your problems. Not too many people have the chance of see something good come out of their mistakes (other than learning from them), so don't waste it too.

I know it is what it is......And I know i put her at risk but i aint have sex with my girl till what aug (said we were going to do the celibate and of course guilt)...I was making sure my blood was good.
This has got to be the DUMBEST thing i did in my life. Rite after i did it i felt horrible. Meanwhile its hard for me to even get in contact with the other girl i only know from studying the semenster prior.
I keep looking back at that night. What possessed me to do that. I never cheated nor was i really in the mood. Then I put money down on ay after pills and stil happen.
Oh I aint expectin her to come back...i mean God got her and she deserves betta. The trust is gone, different responsbiity, fianicail obligations and so on. Its my problem and it be easier for her to move on. I gonna miss her daugther and the rest of the fam though. And the bday came on the worst day-my pre bday (I think the kid bday was on 27 i dont even know.)

Man it was tuf answering question bout DNA and stuff. Its funny how in 10 secs yo life can change.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Ohh man this is gonna be a toughie. You can always claim that vile woman came on to you and seduced you. Begging you for that potential child that she will have soon.

"Honey , I was fighting the urge , but by god ...she was like in a porno !"

Ok on 2nd thought ya better just man up and accept the wrong ya did. Your fiancee should know and thats gonna be the hard sell. Your gonna have to sit down and just hope for the best. You may have a hand print on your face when its done , but ya know you deserve it.

Now I have seen some fathers blame the kids for their mistakes. I hope that doesn't happen here. I hope your man enough to not blame the innocent kid ya brought into the world. Good luck.

[Typo Lad]

Yeah, that's why you don't let little YoungG03 think for you. Sorry to say this, but you were a crappy fiance. Now try to be a better dad to this kid.

[Asmith]

Whatever you do in the future. Whatever choices you make. Just, please, never try and teach your kid to spell...

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Whatever you do in the future. Whatever choices you make. Just, please, never try and teach your kid to spell...

Y you tripppen dawg ? Can't ya see , da dude in pain ?

[Asmith]

Y you tripppen dawg ? Can't ya see , da dude in pain ?

Dud cant kept himsef ziped. Now hes bitcen tht he hav to tek respinsabultee for hes dic.

[Aziz Abbasi]

Oh man, what did you do to yourself?
This is a major reason why genders are supposed to be separated in many locations

[Dreadstar]

Oh man, what did you do to yourself?
This is a major reason why genders are supposed to be separated in many locations

*insert roll-eyes smiley here*

[StoneGold]

Just make sure someone else teaches your kid how to write.

[Cloudman]

Dud cant kept himsef ziped. Now hes bitcen tht he hav to tek respinsabultee for hes dic.

lol OP, u gt pwned.

[Typo Lad]

Oh man, what did you do to yourself?
This is a major reason why genders are supposed to be separated in many locations
Well, we assume they seperated after. Unless he's a dog.

[Justin D.]

I'm pretty sure Young has dyslexia or some other learning disorder. So may want to lay off a bit there.

Other than that, yeah, you did something stupid.

[YoungG03]

Ohh man this is gonna be a toughie. You can always claim that vile woman came on to you and seduced you. Begging you for that potential child that she will have soon.

"Honey , I was fighting the urge , but by god ...she was like in a porno !"

Ok on 2nd thought ya better just man up and accept the wrong ya did. Your fiancee should know and thats gonna be the hard sell. Your gonna have to sit down and just hope for the best. You may have a hand print on your face when its done , but ya know you deserve it.

Now I have seen some fathers blame the kids for their mistakes. I hope that doesn't happen here. I hope your man enough to not blame the innocent kid ya brought into the world. Good luck.

Nah I aint gonna blame him...it was all me.

[Asmith]

I'm pretty sure Young has dyslexia or some other learning disorder. So may want to lay off a bit there.


But if you don't mock them, how will they ever learn...?





Anyway, I'm dyslexic myself... so it's like if I was black I would get to use the N-word... or be allowed to rap without shame or something...

[howyadoin]

Anyway, I'm dyslexic myself... so it's like if I was black I would get to use the N-word... or be allowed to rap without shame or something...Surely you'd still have something to be ashamed of.

[Slam_Bradley]

Surely you'd still have something to be ashamed of.

Like being Australian isn't enough.

[Fenris]

I'm sorry that turned out so badly. But at least you're going to do the right thing by the child.

Does the mother want you involved in raising him? Has she said anything about what she wants from you?

õ
I guess she's adjusting to a lot, too!

[o1pickleboy]

hmmm unprotected sex check. Child with women you barely know check. horrible spelling check.

Sorry I can't relate to your situation

[YoungG03]

I'm sorry that turned out so badly. But at least you're going to do the right thing by the child.

Does the mother want you involved in raising him? Has she said anything about what she wants from you?

õ
I guess she's adjusting to a lot, too!

Nah she just want me to support the chd and all that. I took her to court to make everything official though. Sucks to be on chid support but it beats asking for money at any time. Plus if we ever did go to court it be seen as a gift.

We have our disputes when she says i try to get deals or why not give her money straight but ugggh

[Fenris]

Hey, it's Young!

Nah she just want me to support the chd and all that. I took her to court to make everything official though. Sucks to be on chid support but it beats asking for money at any time. Plus if we ever did go to court it be seen as a gift.

I guess I can see that; in a situation like this one, it's good to know exactly what your responsibilities are.

Her and the baby aside, how are you doing? I know this threw all your life into chaos, to say the least.


We have our disputes when she says i try to get deals or why not give her money straight but ugggh

Indeed.


õ
Some disputes are probably unavoidable!

[PiratesPensSteelers]

If there is one thing Shaggy has taught us it's that "it wasn't me" will always work.

[i_mmmchocolate]

I don't understand why people take having a child so lightly. It's a LIFETIME commitment. Your life will NEVER be the same and you will forever be tied to the mother, whether you're with her or not.

[JeffreyWKramer]

I don't understand why people take having a child so lightly. It's a LIFETIME commitment. Your life will NEVER be the same and you will forever be tied to the mother, whether you're with her or not.

I don't think most people (though there are exceptions) take having a kid lightly.

Some of them just take sex too lightly, and don't stop to think enough about potential consequences - including having a kid - to take appropriate precautions.

[Pro]

Sorry to say this, but you were a crappy fiance. Now try to be a better dad to this kid.

This, minus the sorry part.

[Dom]

Don't fuck without a condom.

It's 2010 for chrissakes, you can't be surprised at the outcome.

[Avenger08]

Alright, i dont know exactly where this entire post will lead so ill see where it goes.

First, you're a douchebag of a human being.
You cheated. Thats not simply stupid. Its wrong. You're worrying more about ruining your relationship than the regret you feel for your fiance.
Second, you just refered to your child as a PUNISHMENT.

I dont really know why you think for one second that you should have anyone sympathize with you on this one. You are an asshole. You cheat on a woman? Wtf is wrong with you. Ya realize that you do not deserve your fiance and if she takes you back then she is a complete idiot.

The only thing you can do now is be a damn fucking good father to that child and stop acting like an immature, irrisponsible asshole.

Learn from your mistakes.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

I was kinda hoping Young would take the mother of his child on Maury Povich and all. To get the free DNA Test.

http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i280/acmommy/maurypovich.jpg

[YoungG03]

Hey, it's Young!



I guess I can see that; in a situation like this one, it's good to know exactly what your responsibilities are.

Her and the baby aside, how are you doing? I know this threw all your life into chaos, to say the least.




Indeed.


õ
Some disputes are probably unavoidable!

What can I say other than the cliched "Life goes on" I was depressed for a good while and dive into a whole rack of graphic novels after rading shelves of father rights, custody laws and whatnot.
Found out that was my only ammunition in a court room against the father regardless of the case.

I gettin to my regular self. How Im gonna raise him with her...only Lord knows.

And I made a mistake. I know that makes me a rarity around here but I mae a huge mistake. Some of you are making point blank assumptions.

1. I dont consider me a dog since I slept with her once. By the way I only had 4 girls in my life. I know I know I got time right.

2. I wasnt scared of my girl leaving (I let her go...she knew I was a good dude though). This came as a shock to my circle but I made a mistake. That decision was up to her. I was more distraught about being this lie to her, her daughter and her family. As one commented, we had plans for our own family. And like it or not....a guy usually gonna stick with his family rather than an illegitimate kid who based on the court system and the mom likings decides how this person would be raised. I pay child support but still expected to see him on on weekends gonna be a huge issue. I know i will have friends/fam helping me but money and time i Please what type of bond iss that.

3. And yes i do see him as punishment. Its not a blesing to me rite now. Its how i feel. Im not gonna lie. I learned my lesson the moment I did it...I did not need that phone call a few weeks later.

Its cool for ya to respond but i was leaning more on some advice instead of critisim of my infidility, and stupidity.

But life goes on.

[jdd1982]

You LET her go? How kind and benevolent of you! Hopefully, your child's mother will do your "punishment" a favor and keep that child as far away from you as possible until you GROW UP and stop being resentful of your own flesh and blood. And hopefully that child support is court mandated.

[Donald M.]

I was kinda hoping Young would take the mother of his child on Maury Povich and all. To get the free DNA Test.

http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i280/acmommy/maurypovich.jpg

http://www.q45.org/uploads/Maury_Povich__You_Are_Not_the_Father.gif

[YoungG03]

You LET her go? How kind and benevolent of you! Hopefully, your child's mother will do your "punishment" a favor and keep that child as far away from you as possible until you GROW UP and stop being resentful of your own flesh and blood. And hopefully that child support is court mandated.

It is...when I found out bout the kid I went to the courts. And let her go as in broke up with her. Wrong words. And what you mean about "grown up" .I there for the doc visits, spending time with him and etc. I did did a dumb thing already in his life why add on by keeping one part of him away.


It easy to say this and do that till you in a situation regardless of what it is so I geuss I can see your passion. Im human. Im not gonna be doing cartwheels cuse Im a baby. Im a provider. He does his laugh and giggles but its not there for me. Maybe one day it will hit me. Maybe Im still putting him with his mom. I dont know. Maybe Im still in one of the phases. I cant expalin ut while Im in it he still needs to eat, waste and have some laughs alon the way.

[Chris N]

Best of luck to you, Young.

Don't let people on the internet make you feel worse.

Sounds like you know you fucked up. Not our place to judge you for your fuckups though. That's up to you and those affected by this. And it's certainly not our place to judge how you're feeling.

So, good luck. Make better decisions in the future and do what you can to do right by these people.

[Donald M.]

You LET her go? How kind and benevolent of you! Hopefully, your child's mother will do your "punishment" a favor and keep that child as far away from you as possible until you GROW UP and stop being resentful of your own flesh and blood. And hopefully that child support is court mandated.

He meant that he accepted the breakup and didn't make it any harder on her than it had to be, at least that's how I read it and his words on the subject seem to back that up.

We're not going to hail YoungG as a hero for knocking up a random hookup, but he acknowledges he made a mistake and has stepped up to take responsibility for it, which is a lot more than many young men in his situation ever do.

You're making a lot of assumptions that suggest to me you read maybe two or three posts and those not very closely before jumping to a conclusion that let you take the moral high ground and yell at him a bit.

Doesn't reflect well on you.

[Mike Pothier]

YoungG03, if that kid is yours, and you step up and help take care of the kid, then you'll be a better father then hundreds of other young men out there. You made a mistake, but take this as an opportunity for growth.

[jdd1982]

We're not going to hail YoungG as a hero for knocking up a random hookup, but he acknowledges he made a mistake and has stepped up to take responsibility for it, which is a lot more than many young men in his situation ever do.

Wait...we're supposed to pat this guy on the back for doing something he's supposed to be doing in the first place? And don't give me any bullshit about stepping up - the COURTS are making him do that. Good for the mother.

You're making a lot of assumptions that suggest to me you read maybe two or three posts and those not very closely before jumping to a conclusion that let you take the moral high ground and yell at him a bit.

Doesn't reflect well on you.

And your assumptions don't reflect well on you, either. The difference is that you seem to think that your benevolent approval means something to me.

[Donald M.]

Wait...we're supposed to pat this guy on the back for doing something he's supposed to be doing in the first place? And don't give me any bullshit about stepping up - the COURTS are making him do that. Good for the mother.



And your assumptions don't reflect well on you, either. The difference is that you seem to think that your benevolent approval means something to me.

I don't approve of the situation or his current attitude regarding the child as a "punishment", but I do approve of him not trying to avoid his responsibilities. Hopefully he'll grow up quite a bit as a result of this experience. He knows he did wrong and he seems to know what his responsibilities are. We can encourage him to do right by his child and the mother or we can yell at him and call him irresponsible, though I don't see what yelling at him achieves. What's done is done.

[jdd1982]

Who said I'm yelling? When I'm yelling, you'll know.

[Donald M.]

Who said I'm yelling? When I'm yelling, you'll know.

No, I don't think I will.

[thehod]

Who said I'm yelling? When I'm yelling, you'll know.

The dreaded use of the Caps Lock key.

And the Internet quivers in terror.

[thespianphryne]

Wait...we're supposed to pat this guy on the back for doing something he's supposed to be doing in the first place? And don't give me any bullshit about stepping up - the COURTS are making him do that. Good for the mother.



And your assumptions don't reflect well on you, either. The difference is that you seem to think that your benevolent approval means something to me.
Upon careful reading you'll notice that Young is the one who voluntary insisted on the court's mandate. So, please try not to get your panties in a pother.

[jdd1982]

The dreaded use of the Caps Lock key.

And the Internet quivers in terror.

Never said anything about the Caps Lock key. That's just hard on the eyes. Bold text, maybe. Rwaaaaaaar.

Upon careful reading you'll notice that Young is the one who voluntary insisted on the court's mandate. So, please try not to get your panties in a pother.

First off, don't worry about the kind of underwear I'm wearing, or if I wear any at all. (Cue for "it was only a figure of speeeeeeech...")

Second, I'm impressed with your Whiner-to-English translation. And yes, I will give Young a pat on the back for doing what he's supposed to do, since that seems to be the consensus here. But his attitude towards his own child is disgusting, and it's not lost on me that few (if any) posters aren't bothered by it. He's not doing this woman (or her child) any favors, and just because many more men in this situation wouldn't take responsibility doesn't mean that the one here who has deserves any kudos. If you don't like your kid that much, cut a check and get ghost.

[Avenger08]

Are you people kidding me? You're DEFENDING this guy?

You are defending a man for: Cheating, describing his own child as a punishment, and then bitching about how sad he is on the internet.

Good lord people...

[jdd1982]

But-but-but he's taking care of his responsibilities! Sure, his resentment and anger is oozing out of every pore and I'm sure his kid picks up on that with every visit, but hey! That's better than what some other men would do in his place! What's done is done, right?

[Avenger08]

But-but-but he's taking care of his responsibilities! Sure, his resentment and anger is oozing out of every pore and I'm sure his kid picks up on that with every visit, but hey! That's better than what some other men would do in his place! What's done is done, right?

Aha i dont feel as though i could put it any better.... but just saying: I love this post

[Donald M.]

I think the kid's probably too young at this point to be picking up on much of anything, which makes it the right time for YoungG to be around the kid and see if he's capable of growing up and getting past his resentment before it gets to the point where it really starts to effect the kid. If he's ever going to develop any genuine affection for the kid, staying away from him won't help that.

That said, one hopes that any new found sense of responsibility will extend to staying out of the kid's life should YoungG find himself unable to grow enough to see his child as anything more than a financial burden and a punishment for being foolish.

At least he's trying. No that's not worthy of praise, but it is worthy of support. What's wrong with encouraging someone to attempt to grow as a person?

If YoungG proves unwilling or unable to change that's unfortunate and obviously doesn't reflect too well on him as a person any more than this entire situation does, but you can't change if you don't try.

I really think YoungG should give it at least a few more months to see if he can make any kind of connection with this kid and get past feeling sorry for himself.

Part of that means asking the mother if she'll let him spend some real time with the kid instead of just showing up for doctor's appointments or whatever.

It's easy to be judgmental. Certainly YoungG has proven himself irresponsible and immature and is exhibiting an attitude that won't be healthy for his son in the long run if it persists. Maybe we can give him a small shred of encouragement in trying to change that though?

[vcassel]

I heard this is the thread to come to to get some heavy-handed condemnation off my chest. Is that right? Because damn if I haven't torn into someone today!

[Donald M.]

I heard this is the thread to come to to get some heavy-handed condemnation off my chest. Is that right? Because damn if I haven't torn into someone today!

This is the place. You'll have to get in line though.

[vcassel]

This is the place. You'll have to get in line though.

Aw, screw it! I'll just watch some porn.

[Donald M.]

Aw, screw it! I'll just watch some porn.

If only YoungG had done that instead of cheating on his fiancee!

Hindsight is 20/20, my friend.

[Chris N]

C'mon, Donald. Be serious. This is the internet. Only two sides to every issue.

If we don't condemn somebody like they were a nazi, then we must be defending every bad thing they've done and in fact be insisting that the bad things were good things. Anything in the middle would just be ridiculous.


And don't forget: it is only in finding people we can judge to be beneath us that we can start to feel good about ourselves and how righteous we are.

[Avenger08]

C'mon, Donald. Be serious. This is the internet. Only two sides to every issue.

If we don't condemn somebody like they were a nazi, then we must be defending every bad thing they've done and in fact be insisting that the bad things were good things. Anything in the middle would just be ridiculous.


And don't forget: it is only in finding people we can judge to be beneath us that we can start to feel good about ourselves and how righteous we are.

And so begins the harping that because we don't feel the need to pat someone on the back for being a bastard means that we are automatically just trying to be self-richeous.
For gods sake, we're saying hes an asshole. He is. Saying that he hasnt earned a title like that is ridiculous. And if he is going to post something for all to see, then he is asking to be judged. Some judge him for what he did. He whines about how sad he is that his gf is leaving him bc he cheated.. he refers to his own blood as a punishment... he deserves no sympathy. The best we can say is that we hope he grows up, takes responsibility, and stops being an immature asshole of a person

[howyadoin]

The best we can say is that we hope he grows up, takes responsibility, and stops being an immature asshole of a personThat's pretty much what the people you're arguing with are saying.

[Avenger08]

That's pretty much what the people you're arguing with are saying.

Who said i was arguing?

[vcassel]

C'mon, Donald. Be serious. This is the internet. Only two sides to every issue.

If we don't condemn somebody like they were a nazi, then we must be defending every bad thing they've done and in fact be insisting that the bad things were good things. Anything in the middle would just be ridiculous.


And don't forget: it is only in finding people we can judge to be beneath us that we can start to feel good about ourselves and how righteous we are.

I've only signed up to this board to do two things: pick fights and talk comics. And oddly enough I don't even read comics. Figure that out :wink:

[Chris N]

Who said i was arguing?

Well, this is how you referred to the posts of others.

Are you people kidding me

Saying that he hasnt earned a title like that is ridiculous.

And then you continued to explain your disagreement. Not sure what arguing means to you.

[Avenger08]

Well, this is how you referred to the posts of others.





And then you continued to explain your disagreement. Not sure what arguing means to you.

Disagreeing with people doesnt mean arguing.

Saying people are being ridiculous doesnt mean that i'm arguing with them.

If, to you, all disagreement means that you are arguing.. then I really dont think you have that great of an understanding of it

[K'Nort]

2. I wasnt scared of my girl leaving (I let her go...she knew I was a good dude though). This came as a shock to my circle but I made a mistake. That decision was up to her. I was more distraught about being this lie to her, her daughter and her family. As one commented, we had plans for our own family. And like it or not....a guy usually gonna stick with his family rather than an illegitimate kid who based on the court system and the mom likings decides how this person would be raised. I pay child support but still expected to see him on on weekends gonna be a huge issue. I know i will have friends/fam helping me but money and time i Please what type of bond iss that.

It sounds like you're saying your child doesn't qualify as family.

[jdd1982]

For gods sake, we're saying hes an asshole. He is.

Key word here is IS, as opposed to was. This thread is two weeks older than rain, and this kid is still crying about how his life is ruined. Dude, don't you have some diapers to change or a 4th job to get to or an alibi to practice in the mirror or SOMETHING?

[K'Nort]

Key word here is IS, as opposed to was. This thread is two weeks older than rain, and this kid is still crying about how his life is ruined. Dude, don't you have some diapers to change or a 4th job to get to or an alibi to practice in the mirror or SOMETHING?

Holy crap, I just noticed it wasn't entirely new.

That's unfortunate.

[howyadoin]

Disagreeing with people doesnt mean arguing.

Saying people are being ridiculous doesnt mean that i'm arguing with them.

If, to you, all disagreement means that you are arguing.. then I really dont think you have that great of an understanding of itPlease. You're so argumentative you even argue over whether you're arguing or not.

[mikekerr3]

Oh man, what did you do to yourself?
This is a major reason why genders are supposed to be separated in many locations

Just a note to you: it's the 21st century not the 7th

[mikekerr3]

Nah I aint gonna blame him...it was all me.

Now , if the DNA says so you are a father, I hope you are also man enough to be a "dad", the first is easy the second takes work, but you statement above is the first necessary step

[Fenris]

What can I say other than the cliched "Life goes on" I was depressed for a good while and dive into a whole rack of graphic novels after rading shelves of father rights, custody laws and whatnot.
Found out that was my only ammunition in a court room against the father regardless of the case.

Hopefully it won't come to that.


I gettin to my regular self. How Im gonna raise him with her...only Lord knows.

And I made a mistake. I know that makes me a rarity around here but I mae a huge mistake. Some of you are making point blank assumptions.

1. I dont consider me a dog since I slept with her once. By the way I only had 4 girls in my life. I know I know I got time right.

2. I wasnt scared of my girl leaving (I let her go...she knew I was a good dude though). This came as a shock to my circle but I made a mistake. That decision was up to her. I was more distraught about being this lie to her, her daughter and her family. As one commented, we had plans for our own family. And like it or not....a guy usually gonna stick with his family rather than an illegitimate kid who based on the court system and the mom likings decides how this person would be raised. I pay child support but still expected to see him on on weekends gonna be a huge issue. I know i will have friends/fam helping me but money and time i Please what type of bond iss that.


It can be a lot, if you work to make it that way. I hope you do get the weekends.

(Heck, if it comes to that, I hope you get to see him all the time. But that's where it starts, I guess: showing the mother that you're as good a dad as she'll allow you to be.)


3. And yes i do see him as punishment. Its not a blesing to me rite now. Its how i feel. Im not gonna lie. I learned my lesson the moment I did it...I did not need that phone call a few weeks later.

Ack.
Okay, I know it's useless to say, "Don't feel that way!" because you do. And right now the situation is very ugly, so I guess that's no surprise.

But in a year, or two years- when you're part of this boy's life and things have settled down a little- you may feel that he's the best thing that ever happened to you.

It's possible. That's how most fathers seem to feel.


õ
And you're a father!

[mikekerr3]

It sounds like you're saying your child doesn't qualify as family.

I don't normally associate grammar and spelling with intelligence:wink:, but not knowing that your own kid is your family is just idiotic.

[TheDrifter]

You're a right wanker.

Wanker. Noun. He who wanks.

[Avenger08]

Please. You're so argumentative you even argue over whether you're arguing or not.

i didnt, and dont have any intention to argue. Nor am i.

Ps to chris, im gonna have to go with that being the most immature response to something ive ever seen

[mikekerr3]

Disagreeing with people doesnt mean arguing.

Saying people are being ridiculous doesnt mean that i'm arguing with them.


Buy a dictionary

[Avenger08]

Buy a dictionary

I own one. And used it. I wasnt arguing

[Donald M.]

I own one. And used it. I wasnt arguing

Yes you are.

[mikekerr3]

I own one. And used it. I wasnt arguing

You were then, and you are now.

[rick]

And I made a mistake. I know that makes me a rarity around here but I mae a huge mistake. Some of you are making point blank assumptions.

1. I dont consider me a dog since I slept with her once. By the way I only had 4 girls in my life. I know I know I got time right.

2. I wasnt scared of my girl leaving (I let her go...she knew I was a good dude though). This came as a shock to my circle but I made a mistake. That decision was up to her. I was more distraught about being this lie to her, her daughter and her family. As one commented, we had plans for our own family. And like it or not....a guy usually gonna stick with his family rather than an illegitimate kid who based on the court system and the mom likings decides how this person would be raised. I pay child support but still expected to see him on on weekends gonna be a huge issue. I know i will have friends/fam helping me but money and time i Please what type of bond iss that.

3. And yes i do see him as punishment. Its not a blesing to me rite now. Its how i feel. Im not gonna lie. I learned my lesson the moment I did it...I did not need that phone call a few weeks later.



Since you have invited comments……


Look you whiney little fuck, I don’t really give two shits that you nailed some girl while engaged. The night before my first wedding, I slept with a bridesmaid who surprised the Hell out of me by turning out to only have one leg, so I know that those days right before getting hitched can make us all a little nuts.

But son, you knocked her up and now you’re going to be a daddy.

It’s a weird circumstance for it to happen in, and yep, you’re looking at years of money and hassle ahead of you.

But too bad, so sad, you made a choice of where to stick your cock and this sort of result has been known to happen.

What actually matters now, isn’t your social circle, your family, you’re soon to be ex, or the girl you rubbed your pee pee in.

What matters is that, like it or not, you are going to be a father. And that means you need to start taking responsibility for your life and the life of your child.

If you think you won’t get visitation, then might I suggest you get a lawyer and make certain that you do. Because let me tell you what kiddo, in this day and age if you do your actual job as a parent, then Joint Custody is the norm.

It isn’t just about cash and visitation.

And if your own Daddy hasn’t told you this yet, than let me do it for him. You were old enough to get that girl out of her blue jeans, so stop bitching like a little girl, grow a little hair on your dick and act like a man.

[Michael P]

Disagreeing with people doesnt mean arguing.

Yes it does.

[Donald M.]

Yes it does.

He's obviously lying about the dictionary.

[Michael P]

He's obviously lying about the dictionary.

No he isn't.

[Donald M.]

No he isn't.

Pretty pathetic.

[Chris N]

While I see how it could be considered immature and passive aggressive, at least part of the intention of starting a thread on arguing was so that we could take this fascinating discussion away from here and somewhere more appropriate.

[thehod]

Is this a five minute arguement, or the full half hour?

[vcassel]

Is this a five minute arguement, or the full half hour?

No it isn't...er, I mean yes it is...I mean...STOP CONFUSING ME!!!!

[thespianphryne]

Screw arguing. I just want to know what's wrong with panties.

[Barcus]

First of all, do not view the child as punishment.

I've been in a relationship for quite some time, and about nine months ago we found out she was pregnant. I was terrified at first and thought my life was over, considering I'm only 20.

Here I am now, a mere two weeks (at most) from having a beautiful baby girl, and I'm so excited. Instead of giving up and accepting that my life was over, I'm continuing to make the most of it. I am still finishing my last three semesters of college in order to get my degree in computer science, I've been happily married for months, and I'm looking at the positive. I may have many more responsibilities, but I also get a little girl with whom I get the pleasure of sharing my life with. It's tough being young and knowing you are going to have a child, I definitely understand that. Just know, from someone who's 9 months into your situation, that your life isn't over and you have every opportunity to be a good father and to make the most of your own life as well.

Just my two cents on the matter.

[Eric D.]

http://dcartnews.blogspot.com/WaldronDogpile.jpg

[Eric D.]

I feel bad for the soon-to-be child. Now there's someone with a bad situation. He didn't have a choice in this matter.

"Hello son, I'm your dad, Johnny Wank. Burden?...hahaha. Don't be silly son, I don't see you as a burden. No... You're my punishment on this earth. Let that be a lesson for the both of us, son."

[YoungG03]

[QUOTE=jdd1982;11068268]Wait...we're supposed to pat this guy on the back for doing something he's supposed to be doing in the first place? And don't give me any bullshit about stepping up - the COURTS are making him do that. Good for the mother.

QUOTE]

Mom is hating that Im going to court. She rather keep it out. Im thinking it be best if they cant get in touch with me or my famiy for any reason. Secondly; as i said before anything i give would look as a gift anyway. The money dont bother me anyway. Plenty of lost souls or angry people are rich. It takes more than money to raise a kid or bring happiness. I see this in my city. Its sad and I aint gonna let it go on with my line.

AND I REPEAT TO THIS DAY SHE STILL DONT KNOW WHY IM DOING THIS TO THE POINT SHE REQUESTED FULL CUSTODY. Now having acknowedge that I dont worry about the money factor; wouldnt this be an easy out for me. Even if my heart is not similar to another father or a situation i would have loved; I still care for the welfare for any kid esp mines. Barcus; was your girl a one night stand? And congrats an new dad. Get a lot of bibs.

And thats stupid ..cut a check and get ghost. Thats heartless. Believe me it would have been easy to do that but it was hard for me to sleep at night knowing I can give my blood something whether it be money, wisdom or whateva God bless me with to give him.

Avenger; you making me to be Red Skull or Dr Doom. I would have thought it was your sis. I apologize if it was; Avenger but Im not sad no more...I was caught in the moment and CBR was an affordable outlet. Well sad about how we gonna raise him but one day at a time. And Avenger Im more sad that I wasted my fiance's time then her moving on in life to SOMETHNG BETTER. She could find a new guy tommorrow WHO HOPEFULY TREAT HER BETTER. I thinking thats me. I just wish I wasnt that asshole to her. BTW; she did not leave and we done the counseling for days. Yes she a fool in love that trust God. NO; I did not beg her to stay before you add words to my mouth. I gave her every reason to go from my shrunk time to another member (not lil man) in our lives I could never do that to a person.

jdd1982...Havent you notice Im a good liar? I should show you some baby pics of me and him. HES still a cute kid. Who wouldnt love him? I realy dispise the situation as well as myself. Oh and the mom. I mean the baby plays, do the developmental thing, eat and criiiiiessssssss when its time to sleep. Im not an angry person so I doubt its oozing out of all my pores but eeeeehhhh who knows. And really how long does it take to post. You think Im doing a report to graduate or something? Just cause I did somethng dumb does not make me dumb. I work smarter not harder. Plus I got people in my life who insist on heping me.

Oh and I do more that doc visit. (Its hard to put 7 months in a forum. Ya got the weeks before birth edition in my first post.) Hes been over for the weekend. We do the zoo, park and I took him to work where he got see dad work hard. He reaches out to me when he sees me. I took a pic with mom and him. She still a mom and he prob like that. I apoplogize to her mom for the situation her daughter and grandson is in. Guys; im doing the best I can rite now.

Porn is what got me in this mess in the first place so that is LOOOOONNNGGG GONE! Knort; family is more than blood. If i wasnt in his life i wouldnt expect him to call me dad. And I wouldnt call him son. Its disrespectful to whomever raised him as well as him. BTW; if I felt like I couldn't be a contribution to his life I would not be stressing about this. Pleaassssse.

And I took the DNA test within two weeks of his birth. Step was to show up with baby stuff. And Fenris, I wanted to get him half the year. I aint want no summer crap and I figger weekly or monthly basis may be draining but I dont want him to miss out on my side. She doesnt either but she has a lot of issues she placing on the boy. (By the way the mediator/judge/courts was sooo shocked at me when I said I wanted joint. They say most dads just want weekends and I was like what crappy time is that?) This court crap has been a battle. I couldnt even file the papers at first because I was not the mom and to this day they still look at me crazy when they see me as the plaintiff.

Rick you are an idiot. And Im gonna get joint. Theres no evidence of my history being abusive or unwilling to be a good father. And I dont care for the cash but Im not visiting my son. I refuse to do that. There is nothing against mycharacter that would even make that acceptable. I told the judge about these statistics and the more time Im legally away from my kid the more he becomes a check. I say go for full custody. Dont stop at visitation. Hes gonna suffer in the end. I would go to sleep at night knowing that I study the system. pleased every party and beg to God for this kid. Money aint never make me happy and I aint gonna act like it will now.

Wow Eric you really think I gonna tell him of this time? I boost his head to be the greatest. Shoot; maybe the idea of a abortion would make his rise to glory a sell at the box office.

[rick]

Rick you are an idiot. And Im gonna get joint. Theres no evidence of my history being abusive or unwilling to be a good father. And I dont care for the cash but Im not visiting my son. I refuse to do that. There is nothing against mycharacter that would even make that acceptable. I told the judge about these statistics and the more time Im legally away from my kid the more he becomes a check. I say go for full custody. Dont stop at visitation. Hes gonna suffer in the end. I would go to sleep at night knowing that I study the system. pleased every party and beg to God for this kid. Money aint never make me happy and I aint gonna act like it will now.


You want joint custody but you refuse to see your kid?

And I'm the idiot?

Son, you aren't just a tremendous pussy, you're a fool too.

[Donald M.]

You want joint custody but you refuse to see your kid?

And I'm the idiot?

Son, you aren't just a tremendous pussy, you're a fool too.

It's understandably a little hard to parse, but I think he's saying he wants more than just the right to occasionally visit his son, that he wants to be in his life more than that, hence joint custody.

I could be wrong, perhaps YoungG will be along to clarify what he's trying to say at some point.

[Kid Omega]

I don't want to read the whole thread, so maybe this has been discussed, but...

why not just wear a condom? The things are like 99.9% effective in preventing babies, and most diseases.

Condoms are the best.

[Donald M.]

I don't want to read the whole thread, so maybe this has been discussed, but...

why not just wear a condom? The things are like 99.9% effective in preventing babies, and most diseases.

Condoms are the best.

Good question.

I mean on top of the baby he did end up making, he could have got some disease and spread that to his fiancee. Irresponsibility all around.

[Avenger08]

I'll respond to Chris first to get this clear and well and over with.

Stop ramming me up the ass every time i disagree with someone on a thread. You're childish, and several others have disagreed on this thread without you (for some reason you believe you have the place to do this) jumping down their throats.
I was not arguing with everyone. A simple disagreement with some things being said is not arguing. Really people.
And also, why do any of you give a fuck? Goodness gracious you are obnoxious self-entitled bunch (only some of you, just the people that feel the need to debate arguing and random shit for no reason)

But im gonna save my response that actually relates to this thread for a separate post because i dont want these points to be muddled. Im now going to discuss the thread instead of debating with you people about arguing.

[Avenger08]

Avenger; you making me to be Red Skull or Dr Doom. I would have thought it was your sis. I apologize if it was; Avenger but Im not sad no more...I was caught in the moment and CBR was an affordable outlet. Well sad about how we gonna raise him but one day at a time. And Avenger Im more sad that I wasted my fiance's time then her moving on in life to SOMETHNG BETTER. She could find a new guy tommorrow WHO HOPEFULY TREAT HER BETTER. I thinking thats me. I just wish I wasnt that asshole to her. BTW; she did not leave and we done the counseling for days. Yes she a fool in love that trust God. NO; I did not beg her to stay before you add words to my mouth. I gave her every reason to go from my shrunk time to another member (not lil man) in our lives I could never do that to a person.




Being aggrivated with a man who cheats on a woman doesnt mean im making you out to be Doctor Doom or the Red Skull. Y'see, at least they are characters that are set in what they are. You- you just try as though you dont deserve what happened to you. You yourself referenced your child as your punishment for your actions.

I cannot find the words to describe how greatly that disgusts me.

And heres my thoughts on that sis comment. My sister, yes i have one, has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for 4 years. Shes 22. He is the type of MAN that wouldnt even act like there was any other woman in the world that could EVER be as important or wonderful as her.
That is how a MAN acts. That is what you do. You do not deserve your gf. Honestly your grammar, and im rarely someone that harps on this as it is not my place to, is so terrible that i cant quite make out what you're saying. It seems as though you're saying your gf is still around and did not leave you?
Well shes an idiot then. Im not adding words to your mouth either, im just saying, you shouldnt let her stay. You should say "y'know what, i fucked you over. I dont deserve you. But because ive done something so horrible and still care, im telling you now to move on and stay away from my cheating bastard ass"

Cause thats the right thing to do.

And you are changing things that you said. You cant take back words that you said. You called your kid a punishment. I dont genuinly hate people that often, but i must say to any human being that ever says something so vile: Fuck you. Hopefully that poor kid doesnt end up messed up in life because of you, but i really doubt that. I pray to god for him.

And really, your child isnt your punishment. In my view hell would be appropriete but really thats not my call and idk enough about u to judge to that extreme. I just want it clear that a living, breathing child is a blessing. Dont ever say that it is a punishment

[Avenger08]

First of all, do not view the child as punishment.

I've been in a relationship for quite some time, and about nine months ago we found out she was pregnant. I was terrified at first and thought my life was over, considering I'm only 20.

Here I am now, a mere two weeks (at most) from having a beautiful baby girl, and I'm so excited. Instead of giving up and accepting that my life was over, I'm continuing to make the most of it. I am still finishing my last three semesters of college in order to get my degree in computer science, I've been happily married for months, and I'm looking at the positive. I may have many more responsibilities, but I also get a little girl with whom I get the pleasure of sharing my life with. It's tough being young and knowing you are going to have a child, I definitely understand that. Just know, from someone who's 9 months into your situation, that your life isn't over and you have every opportunity to be a good father and to make the most of your own life as well.

Just my two cents on the matter.

I would just like to tell you how much respect i have for you. that is all

[Eric D.]

http://www.forumspile.com/STFU-WW2-4Words.jpg

[Avenger08]

http://www.forumspile.com/STFU-WW2-4Words.jpg

Just to be clear, that directed 2 me?

[Donald M.]

Just to be clear, that directed 2 me?

I think it's directed at YoungG and it's good advice.

He needs to shut the fuck up about his situation and just deal with it, whatever way's best for that poor child.

[Avenger08]

I think it's directed at YoungG and it's good advice.

He needs to shut the fuck up about his situation and just deal with it, whatever way's best for that poor child.

Oh thank you for clarifying. (not being sarcastic. I really wasnt sure if i should be offended or not.. i appreciate it)

[vcassel]

I'm pretty sure Young has dyslexia or some other learning disorder. So may want to lay off a bit there.

A good observation from our benevolent moderator.

[Donald M.]

Goodness gracious you are obnoxious self-entitled bunch

I accept this only if you acknowledge that you are not exempt from this description.

[Eric D.]

yeah, no - Avenger. It's for the OP. I'm not sure what he was expecting by way of responses, and I'm not sure I could put it anymore eloquently than Rick stated.

but this fuck'n guy.

Keeps going on about his plight.
He needs to nut up, (figuratively...please.)

[vcassel]

I really wasnt sure if i should be offended or not

I'm sure you'll find a way :wink:

[Donald M.]

The more he goes on the less sympathy I have for him and I had little to begin with, but I still don't see what telling him what a piece of shit he is will accomplish.

[Avenger08]

I accept this only if you acknowledge that you are not exempt from this description.

I am not... completely. But i dont harp on things people that arent talking to me say. The self-entitled part i believe i am SLIGHTLY less obnoxious about than the people flipping out at me in this thread. I admit fully to the obnoxious part. And slightly to the self-entitled.

[Donald M.]

I'm sure you'll find a way :wink:

Maybe then we can turn this into an argument about what it means to be offended? The one about what it means to argue seems to have fizzled out though it was fun while it lasted.

[Avenger08]

yeah, no - Avenger. It's for the OP. I'm not sure what he was expecting by way of responses, and I'm not sure I could put it anymore eloquently than Rick stated.

but this fuck'n guy.

Keeps going on about his plight.
He needs to nut up, (figuratively...please.)

Oh i see i see. I was just concerned cause i had 3 in a row posts, plus the finger looked as though it may have been pointing to mine so i just wanted to clear it up

[vcassel]

The more he goes on the less sympathy I have for him and I had little to begin with, but I still don't see what telling him what a piece of shit he is will accomplish.

There may well be something anonymously cathartic about telling people you've never met how you feel over the internet. But it's a two way street of course.

[Donald M.]

I am not... completely.

Oh, almost. Almost you showed yourself worthy of respect.Sorry, but you might be the most obnoxious and self-entitled person in this thread who isn't called YoungG03/

[Agent Helix]

This thread was ill-advised.

[Donald M.]

This thread was ill-advised.

Fucking understatement of the year.

[Avenger08]

Oh, almost. Almost you showed yourself worthy of respect.Sorry, but you might be the most obnoxious and self-entitled person in this thread who isn't called YoungG03/

Not the person who decides its his place to call others self-entitled? (this is the part where you say touche and we stop discussing irrelevent things)

[Donald M.]

Not the person who decides its his place to call others self-entitled? (this is the part where you say touche and we stop discussing irrelevent things)

No, this is where I say I am obnoxious and self entitled and so fucking what?

And okay, we can stop discussing you now.

[show name]

YoungG03, I hope you succeed in getting joint custody. From your posts I feel like you have a strong sense of conscience which could potentially make you a very good father.

As you've said, the main harm that was done is that you deceived people, and you've now learned something about where that kind of thing leads. Maybe count yourself lucky that you got such a heavy-impact lesson earlier rather than later. If you can use this mistake you made as something that can help you teach yourself and your son to be more upright people then that will be creating good from this tangled situation. Getting joint custody and raising your son right will be setting a positive example for the many other men who made or will make the same error in judgment.

Best of luck. If you feel you can withstand the torrent of angry scathing feedback feel free to post a followup on how things progressed. I for one would be curious to know.

Everyone makes mistakes. Keep on keepin' on.

[Chris N]

It's the only thing we know how to do.

[Omega Alpha]

First of all, do not view the child as punishment.

I've been in a relationship for quite some time, and about nine months ago we found out she was pregnant. I was terrified at first and thought my life was over, considering I'm only 20.

Here I am now, a mere two weeks (at most) from having a beautiful baby girl, and I'm so excited. Instead of giving up and accepting that my life was over, I'm continuing to make the most of it. I am still finishing my last three semesters of college in order to get my degree in computer science, I've been happily married for months, and I'm looking at the positive. I may have many more responsibilities, but I also get a little girl with whom I get the pleasure of sharing my life with. It's tough being young and knowing you are going to have a child, I definitely understand that. Just know, from someone who's 9 months into your situation, that your life isn't over and you have every opportunity to be a good father and to make the most of your own life as well.

Just my two cents on the matter.

Congrats to you and your wife, man!:smile:

And now, THAT's the way to do it (OK, it probably would be better if you two were a little older, but you're doing all right, it seems).

[YoungG03]

It's understandably a little hard to parse, but I think he's saying he wants more than just the right to occasionally visit his son, that he wants to be in his life more than that, hence joint custody.

I could be wrong, perhaps YoungG will be along to clarify what he's trying to say at some point.

U rite. Exactly what I said. I shouldnt have done a lot of things and wearing a condom is the SMALLEST thing of them....btw I did have one on. Do two and two. But Im blessed in that I did not catch anything. My girl was good because I did not make love with her after my cheating way so I was only worryiing about the disease hitting me. And Im am dealing with it. Yea I sigh every so often but I not going "woe is me" every day. Im a bless dude. This could have been worse. I stay with a smile on my face and a S on my chest.

Avenger you are not worth responding to and honestly I was looking for advice not critisim so why bother responding. Really; hell! And yes I still see it as punishment. One day I look back and maybe laugh but till then I still dream of being in Marty McFly's shoes.

Show name Im not worried about most of these people. Im not on their level. I never walked on water or made anything with a snap. If I had been thinking that night I got up from fing that girl I would have got the pill that night. I couldnt belive what I had just did and I was not thinking straight. (Thats another thing a horrible 5 mins....the moment i did it i couldnt wait till it was over) Hey its my mistake but God allow this to happen. This punishment is my father way of teaching me. Dont mess with people hearts or be greedy. Oh and Trust in God. Could have been worse but I expect better from myself. I swear if I did not have this conscience; life would be better (cause I wouldnt care). I told my fiance about the situation but she stayed with me but people are not reading my posts or something. The girl is treating me with more respect except for her worded "hormones" hence the court papers.
Told my fam/friends bout two month later and they scolded me but told me its cool and know it aint in my character. My life didnt end which I was thinking at the beginning of this thread. God really doesnt give you nothing you cant handle.

And I dont feel this thread was ill advised because its a nice outlet to me. I only hope I would have got advice. I guess Im the ony one with a kid outside a relationship. Why would someone constantly badger someone on their mistake instead of helping them through the storm. Thats another lesson I learned. I would never assume a person character before knowing all the facts. The way the system is geared towards the mom I honestly can see why guys are deadbeats. Its cool that I keep hitting them over the head and telling them I aint some dumb nigga ya gonna run over. I aint sweating in my boots.

Are ya thinking im looking for attention by the way? I hope not. Self entitled....What do I think is entitled to me? But I do try to act like my icon. and please dont say "you should have done that beforehand"

Wow all this posting and still no 4 jobs. Thats ridiculous. Like I got three kids out there with three different moms who dont do nothing. Oh and the mom is in school working two jobs. So I dont have it so bad. My friends have calmed me hugely with advice when dealing with their baby mothers.. So I got the experience as well as the knowledge from hitting these stupid books like it was a class with God beside me. Gotta go sleep on the brain

[Donald M.]

I know that at least other poster on CBR is in a situation like yours Young and he actually posted in this thread, but I don't see what advice he could give you. You seem to have covered all your bases and done the research to get the info you needed and you have the support of friends and family who care about you.

Good luck and treat that boy right.

[jdd1982]

jdd1982...Havent you notice Im a good liar.

No, but I am beginning to admire your ability to backpedal. Joint custody? I hope your child's mother sees this thread and prints it out.

The more he goes on the less sympathy I have for him and I had little to begin with, but I still don't see what telling him what a piece of shit he is will accomplish.

Maybe he'll stop posting.

[o1pickleboy]

I know that at least other poster on CBR is in a situation like yours Young and he actually posted in this thread, but I don't see what advice he could give you. You seem to have covered all your bases and done the research to get the info you needed and you have the support of friends and family who care about you.

Good luck and treat that boy right.

Just that he has to realize he is now the 2nd most important person in his life. Growing up is hard to do and you have to make a decision to stop being the person you want to be and become the person you have to be. Every decision now effects 2 people not just yourself. On the flip side not everything has to change. Just make sure the things that would affect your child negatively are reduced in your life as much as possible. Your human you will make mistakes but if you do your best it will work out.

As for the mother, it is hard to work out a good parenting relationship when their was never any serious connection. Their will be serious misunderstandings and disagreements because you really don't know each other and never had feelings for each other that help make the other person understand your intent. She doesn't know you and really probably isn't sure if your a good person or not. It will be hard to prove it to her and it is your job to do so and it is hers to prove it to you.

[K'Nort]

I realize part of this is the disability, but it still sounds to me like you are saying you cannot stand the kid -- and don't intend to ever care for him -- and are only spending time with him because it's the right thing to do and also to spite the mother.

There's a point at which that stops being the right thing to do. It really is not possible to hide your true feelings from a child in the long run. And they don't deserve that either.

Again, with any luck that's not the message you were trying to send. But you can probably understand why people react negatively to such an impression.

[Donald M.]

Maybe he'll stop posting.

You're a piece of shit.

*checks watch*

You gone yet?

[show name]

I swear if I did not have this conscience; life would be better (cause I wouldnt care).


:smile:
Yeah a double-edged sword sometimes.
But the less we ignore our conscience the less it zaps us, so in the end it's worth it because it keeps us on the right track and we end up with a more worthwhile life.

[show name]

Just that he has to realize he is now the 2nd most important person in his life. Growing up is hard to do and you have to make a decision to stop being the person you want to be and become the person you have to be. Every decision now effects 2 people not just yourself. On the flip side not everything has to change. Just make sure the things that would affect your child negatively are reduced in your life as much as possible. Your human you will make mistakes but if you do your best it will work out.

As for the mother, it is hard to work out a good parenting relationship when their was never any serious connection. Their will be serious misunderstandings and disagreements because you really don't know each other and never had feelings for each other that help make the other person understand your intent. She doesn't know you and really probably isn't sure if your a good person or not. It will be hard to prove it to her and it is your job to do so and it is hers to prove it to you.

Nice hard-won wisdom post.

[YoungG03]

Just that he has to realize he is now the 2nd most important person in his life. Growing up is hard to do and you have to make a decision to stop being the person you want to be and become the person you have to be. Every decision now effects 2 people not just yourself. On the flip side not everything has to change. Just make sure the things that would affect your child negatively are reduced in your life as much as possible. Your human you will make mistakes but if you do your best it will work out.

As for the mother, it is hard to work out a good parenting relationship when their was never any serious connection. Their will be serious misunderstandings and disagreements because you really don't know each other and never had feelings for each other that help make the other person understand your intent. She doesn't know you and really probably isn't sure if your a good person or not. It will be hard to prove it to her and it is your job to do so and it is hers to prove it to you.

Im truly bless. She knows Im a good person but she trying to run with it. Her family loves me. Im trying to have all bases covererd with out showing any romantic interests because their are reasonably there from mom. I also understand that having her baby taking away from from her is killing her (She believes Im trying to take my kid away from her. As if I want a crying baby 24/7 but he does need a father?). I understand she'll appreciate a mother day gift from me or stop correcting her on medical or other stuff (I studied up on Parent.com, recently studied Peds as well had fathering classes. I hated those classes cause i aint learn nothing and I listen to other fathers in their nice position.) Regular families dont visit all the appointments and usually get an update from the other half. She try her hand...calling me up saying she gonna claim him. People put too much stake in money. I could have said with my sarcasm...so I guess you can help out more; huh?
Its still hard work. but I aint fighting with panic no more. Thats not me. I wasn't even the same person before I change my methods. I know what she can get from WIC but do I really need to argue about buying food. Hell; I know what she can get from the gov but she got this pride or what people would think about her. (And the father cant get this regardless of what type of custody from car seats to cribs.) And I dont mind a handout. Everyine needs help. If they give it Ill get it like a 8k tax break. I still shop for good quality things while not breaking the bank. Its bothersome to keep these receipts. Its like some of the fun gets zap out with all this extra planning on top of a regular relationship.
I wanted to know about how people have done schools, location if we were far apart and so on. The outside elements are in my head but the prsonal elements of my kid is always the unknown factor. Winning joint is the first battle. Joint is really restriction on both parts....scared to move too far away and all that fears that come for our situation as a new broken couple. BTW; I understand that people break laws every day from jaywalking to running a yellow light without slowing down but I do know as a father putting is name in the system I cant mess up. My friends have help me out with this but no one I know ever had to deal with this. There no book for this or fathering classes for this and I have check. I even consider joining one of those custody battle groups. But I dont think I can hang with them but I support their passion.

K'nort Im sorry if you dont understand my Ebonics but you are terribly off. I dont give that woman enough acknowledgement for me to spite her. I hate myself at first but what good was that? Besides she did did everything right. Abortion is technically wrong. And yup showname..It sure hurts more when you knew better. Jdd; If I will have kids again but it aint gonna be in that setting. Stop projecting stuff on me. Stop assuming. It wil help in the future. I was just saying there would be no need for me to have 4 jobs.

Oh and I like a fight. I would print this myself and see what they say about me having joint. He has never been harmed in my care or malnurished. I aint no butcher. But again thats is a waste of time. I do got stuff on her but I dont want to go Law and Order on her. What happens in the court has to stay in the court. Im cutting her like a surgeon in obtaining the best life for lil man. I could run up in her house screaming and debating with mom. I can say I reccommend she take pschiatric help but that might bring more resentment from her.

But thank guys.I geuss there not muct to be learn. Thanks for the supprt and useful posts. This world would be a better place if everyone wasnt a God. And people make mistakes. That will never stop. Im still gonna make mistakes. I get the wrong size clothes or pick him up to much at times.You live, learn and incoroporate all the knowledge attained for a better future.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Abortion is technically wrong.

?????????

I think you mean morally.

And morally doesn't really count for shit in the face of reality, especially when it's based on an interpretation of what someone believes would have been written in aw book thousands of years ago, if the subject had ever come up.

This world would be a better place if everyone wasnt a God.

This world would be better without a stigma on abortions.

[Puma]

"Ebonics"

So it's not dyslexia that makes your posts near impossible to understand?

[GozertheGozarian]

"Ebonics"

So it's not dyslexia that makes your posts near impossible to understand?
Klingon is easier to understand than that mess.

[Typo Lad]

This thread was ill-advised.

Yeah well, the OP seems to have a history of making bad calls.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Klingon is easier to understand than that mess.
All I know is that for some reason he and this other girl have decided to breed, which leads to
Yeah well, the OP seems to have a history of making bad calls.

Has the fiance left him yet?

[Puma]

All I know is that for some reason he and this other girl have decided to breed, which leads to


Has the fiance left him yet?
She seems to be making a bad call...

[Typo Lad]

Has the fiance left him yet?

He said something about "letting her go".

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

She seems to be making a bad call...

So she knows and is staying?

He said something about "letting her go".

Ah, a true gent, I see.

[Typo Lad]

Yeah, totally.

I mean, I totally support him in his suing for joint custody. What with his calling the kid a punishment, whining about crying kids 24/7 (you want one... why?), talking about how the girl's family loves him while she's accusing him of taking her baby... I mean wow, he's just coming off like a class act.

The way he's presenting himself makes him hard to read, but boy-oh-boy am I unsympathetic.

[Puma]

So she knows and is staying?



Ah, a true gent, I see.
But she decided to stay with him, I think.

[Dreadstar]

I know the first thing I'd do.

I'd get a full-blown paternity test.

The second thing I'd do is get a gross of condoms. Unfortunately, a lot of people just don't have the word "condom" in their vocabulary, for whatever reason.

[Typo Lad]

Oh no, he insists he used one.

[Dreadstar]

Oh no, he insists he used one.

Oh? You'll forgive me if I go into a semi-somatic mode when reading some of that and if I have my doubts.

Further comment would just bring in the moral umbrage society for full-blown derailment.

[Iangould]

C'mon, Donald. Be serious. This is the internet. Only two sides to every issue.

If we don't condemn somebody like they were a nazi, then we must be defending every bad thing they've done and in fact be insisting that the bad things were good things. Anything in the middle would just be ridiculous.


And don't forget: it is only in finding people we can judge to be beneath us that we can start to feel good about ourselves and how righteous we are.

I was going to read through the entire thread before commenting but fuck it: yes, this.

By the way, people, free confession time, about a year back I had unprotected sex.

I was horny and drunk and before I could say "wait a second, what's happening?" it happened.

At this distance in time, it's unlikely there will be any major consequences

But if there are, I hope I'll man up and accept them like the OP.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Yeah, totally.

I mean, I totally support him in his suing for joint custody. What with his calling the kid a punishment, whining about crying kids 24/7 (you want one... why?), talking about how the girl's family loves him while she's accusing him of taking her baby... I mean wow, he's just coming off like a class act.

The way he's presenting himself makes him hard to read, but boy-oh-boy am I unsympathetic.

He's suing for joint custody?

Why'd she tell him if she didn't want him to be involved?

As much as I love this guy to bits, I'm with Dread - get a paternity suit.

But she decided to stay with him, I think.

Well, he did wait like a week before sleeping with her again in case he passed anything on.

Instead of getting a blood test or anything.


But anyway, I really can't make heads or tails of the posts - just that it's a better world because we aren't all gods (which I'm of two minds of) - so where are we at:

He's engaged to a chick whom he says he loves.
Just under nine months ago, he wasn't feeling man enough, so he slept with someone else, never telling the fiance.
This other girl has now contacted him saying she's preggers with his kid?

Right, so at the start of the thread he was feeling like a turd, like he was being punished, and dreading telling the fiance?

So what's he done now?
Told the fiance? And she wants to stay?
Told the pregnant girl he wants joint custody, which she's against, but her family are all for?

Sorry to ask, but this is just a fascinating horror show, but I can't follow the actual posts.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

By the way, people, free confession time, about a year back I had unprotected sex.


How'd your fiance take you screwing someone else?

[Typo Lad]

Oh? You'll forgive me if I go into a semi-somatic mode when reading some of that and if I have my doubts.

You, me, and everyone else.

I, personally, love his admission that he refrained from intercourse with his fiance afterwords, "just in case". Or at least, that's what I think I read. With this guy, he coulda been talking about toaster strudel.

Mmm... toaster strudel.

Further comment would just bring in the moral umbrage society for full-blown derailment.[/QUOTE]

We're umbraging* it up pretty good.



*This is now a word. I declare it so.

[Puma]

He's suing for joint custody?

Why'd she tell him if she didn't want him to be involved?

As much as I love this guy to bits, I'm with Dread - get a paternity suit.



Well, he did wait like a week before sleeping with her again in case he passed anything on.

Instead of getting a blood test or anything.


But anyway, I really can't make heads or tails of the posts - just that it's a better world because we aren't all gods (which I'm of two minds of) - so where are we at:

He's engaged to a chick whom he says he loves.
Just under nine months ago, he wasn't feeling man enough, so he slept with someone else, never telling the fiance.
This other girl has now contacted him saying she's preggers with his kid?

Right, so at the start of the thread he was feeling like a turd, like he was being punished, and dreading telling the fiance?

So what's he done now?
Told the fiance? And she wants to stay?
Told the pregnant girl he wants joint custody, which she's against, but her family are all for?

Sorry to ask, but this is just a fascinating horror show, but I can't follow the actual posts.

apparently.

money.

claims to have done the DNA test.

and is probably not using a condom.

only been with three so he had to see what else he might be missing.

original girlfriend/fiance has stayed with him

baby is born.

court issues.

also claims to have used a condom in the first place and paid for a morning after pill- which I am wondering about; if protection was used and didn't break, why the need for a morning after pill?


we all think we are gods because we aren't supportive enough of this loser.

[Typo Lad]

I think I'm a god because that's what she cries out.

[Dreadstar]

You, me, and everyone else.

I, personally, love his admission that he refrained from intercourse with his fiance afterwords, "just in case". Or at least, that's what I think I read. With this guy, he coulda been talking about toaster strudel.

Mmm... toaster strudel.

Waitwaitwait. That's really hard to believe..







Toaster strudel is kosher?

[Dreadstar]

apparently.

money.

claims to have done the DNA test.

and is probably not using a condom.

only been with three so he had to see what else he might be missing.

original girlfriend/fiance has stayed with him

baby is born.

court issues.

also claims to have used a condom in the first place and paid for a morning after pill- which I am wondering about; if protection was used and didn't break, why the need for a morning after pill?


we all think we are gods because we aren't supportive enough of this loser.

Oh, well done...

[Typo Lad]

Alas, not anymore, but Pillsbury used to be certified. Still is in Israel.

I miss it! Although I confess, I cheat on it with the organic "pop tart" rip offs.

[Dreadstar]

claims to have done the DNA test.

I was hoping he had, and likewise I figured it would be positive. There's a very serious problem in our society surrounding intentional or "trapping" pregnancies, I think.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

apparently.

money.

claims to have done the DNA test.

and is probably not using a condom.

only been with three so he had to see what else he might be missing.

original girlfriend/fiance has stayed with him

baby is born.

court issues.

also claims to have used a condom in the first place and paid for a morning after pill- which I am wondering about; if protection was used and didn't break, why the need for a morning after pill?


we all think we are gods because we aren't supportive enough of this loser.

Ahhhh.... I only saw this pop up the other day, and thought it was a recent thing.

Thought he'd gone through a rollercoaster (from what I could follow) in a few days.

I think I'm a god because that's what she cries out.

ZING!

[Slam_Bradley]

I was hoping he had, and likewise I figured it would be positive. There's a very serious problem in our society surrounding intentional or "trapping" pregnancies, I think.

If the state is coming after him for child support, I'd be pretty shocked if there wasn't a paternity test. That's the second order the attorney for the Department of Health and Welfare hereabouts presents to the judge.

[Puma]

I made the mistake of rereading this and came across this gem:

I know what she can get from WIC but do I really need to argue about buying food. Hell; I know what she can get from the gov but she got this pride or what people would think about her. (And the father cant get this regardless of what type of custody from car seats to cribs.) And I dont mind a handout. Everyine needs help. If they give it Ill get it like a 8k tax break. I still shop for good quality things while not breaking the bank. Its bothersome to keep these receipts. Its like some of the fun gets zap out with all this extra planning on top of a regular relationship.

Boo fucking hoo. Not only do you get this woman pregnant but then you bitch because she actually doesn't want to suck up tax payer funds? Unlike you who is already thinking about the tax break you'll get for impregnanting her? Why should others pay for your mistake?

[Donald M.]

I tried to be a little supportive on the off chance this guy isn't a complete waste, but the more he posts in this thread the more he comes off like an asshole.

[Puma]

I feeling more and more sorry for the baby (not the poster).

[Shellhead]

I feeling more and more sorry for the baby (not the poster).

Heh heh heh.

[jdd1982]

You're a piece of shit.

Your mother.

You gone yet?

Nope. Now whatcha gonna do about it, honeychile?

[Donald M.]

Your mother.



Nope. Now whatcha gonna do about it, honeychile?

Nothing. Just testing your methods. Seems they don't work.

Shocking, that.

[MacQuarrie]

It's amazing to me. We all know where babies come from. There's only one way to make one without medical assistance. If you're old enough to do it, you probably know how. And yet... for some reason we're all shocked and betrayed when the one and only act that results in a baby actually results in one.

New rule: If you knock a girl up by failing to take any precautions, you get a boot to the head.

[Gary_B]

What would this thread be like if the original poster had tried to be a whiner?

The mind reels, it does.

[Holy Spirit]

It's amazing to me. We all know where babies come from. There's only one way to make one without medical assistance. If you're old enough to do it, you probably know how. And yet... for some reason we're all shocked and betrayed when the one and only act that results in a baby actually results in one.
Truth.

I just don't understand why you would be surprised this would happen.

[jdd1982]

Nothing. Just testing your methods. Seems they don't work.

Shocking, that.

This from a poster who pats the ass of a guy who apparently has three children by three different women and blames his shitty-ass spelling on EBONICS.

*edit* Or is he saying he DOESN'T have three kids by three women, so he deserves even more kudos? Arrrrrrgh.

[COLOR="Sienna"]Boo fucking hoo. Not only do you get this woman pregnant but then you bitch because she actually doesn't want to suck up tax payer funds? Unlike you who is already thinking about the tax break you'll get for impregnanting her? Why should others pay for your mistake?

I disagree. If she qualifies for WIC and refuses to get on it, I feel like that's selfish. The wants and needs of a baby, IMO, should trump one's pride. And others should pay for his "mistake" because that's what this country is set up to do. Or would you rather have ALL your money going to fuel some rich white man's war?

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

New rule: If you knock a girl up by failing to take any precautions, you get a boot to the head.

Every day of your life for the next eighteen years!

[Holy Spirit]

This from a poster who pats the ass of a guy who apparently has three children by three different women and blames his shitty-ass spelling on EBONICS.

*edit* Or is he saying he DOESN'T have three kids by three women, so he deserves even more kudos? Arrrrrrgh.
I think it's the latter.

[Puma]

This from a poster who pats the ass of a guy who apparently has three children by three different women and blames his shitty-ass spelling on EBONICS.

*edit* Or is he saying he DOESN'T have three kids by three women, so he deserves even more kudos? Arrrrrrgh.



I disagree. If she qualifies for WIC and refuses to get on it, I feel like that's selfish. The wants and needs of a baby, IMO, should trump one's pride. And others should pay for his "mistake" because that's what this country is set up to do. Or would you rather have ALL your money going to fuel some rich white man's war?
If someone can manage without assistance they should be applauded and no, I don't think this country was, or should be, set up to take care of someone's mistake. Short-term assistance is all well and good, as a lifestyle? no. The OP can stop purchasing his comics, scrimp and save, and buy what his kid needs.

And we all need to remember we are only hearing his side of this.

[JeffreyWKramer]

The OP can stop purchasing his comics, scrimp and save, and buy what his kid needs. Bullseye.

I run into guys like this all the time. They're among the most annoying of my clients, and honestly I do sometimes wish I could just slap them for being so stupid.

[show name]

I also understand that having her baby taking away from from her is killing her (She believes Im trying to take my kid away from her. As if I want a crying baby 24/7 but he does need a father?). I understand she'll appreciate a mother day gift from me or stop correcting her on medical or other stuff (I studied up on Parent.com, recently studied Peds as well had fathering classes. I hated those classes cause i aint learn nothing and I listen to other fathers in their nice position.)


I think you've got the right idea trying to maintain empathy for her position. I agree with pickleboy that if you and she can work together instead of at odds with each other it will make things much better.


Its still hard work. but I aint fighting with panic no more. Thats not me. I wasn't even the same person before I change my methods. I know what she can get from WIC but do I really need to argue about buying food. Hell; I know what she can get from the gov but she got this pride or what people would think about her. (And the father cant get this regardless of what type of custody from car seats to cribs.) And I dont mind a handout. Everyine needs help. If they give it Ill get it like a 8k tax break. I still shop for good quality things while not breaking the bank.

She does sound very proud. But in that case you can appeal to her pride to persuade her to apply for the WIC. She works two jobs while in school. How could anyone accuse her of being a freeloader? She works two jobs and pays taxes. Her paid taxes help fund the government programs like WIC, so she should not hesitate to accept assistance from them. Those programs are meant to be used by those who qualify.

Don't argue, but continue to talk to her about buying higher quality food as you've been able to do so far. With the money she gets from WIC she can afford to take better care of the kid and be a good provider. Another thing for her to take pride in. You've got to reframe things for her so that she doesn't see it as taking a handout, but using all the resources available to be a better provider for her child.

[jdd1982]

Bullseye.

I run into guys like this all the time. They're among the most annoying of my clients, and honestly I do sometimes wish I could just slap them for being so stupid.

OOC, what do you for a living? I spent years as a youth mentor, so I know what you mean. I've heard the most godawful excuses. Then there were a trio of 3rd graders I had this years who were all named after their father...and they weren't triplets. So yeah, my patience w/people like the OP is very, very low.:evilangry:

[JeffreyWKramer]

OOC, what do you for a living? I spent years as a youth mentor, so I know what you mean. I've heard the most godawful excuses. Then there were a trio of 3rd graders I had this years who were all named after their father...and they weren't triplets. So yeah, my patience w/people like the OP is very, very low.:evilangry:

I'm a psychotherapist. I specialize in working with survivors of trauma and individuals with personality disorders, plus I do a lot of couple therapy. In the later two arenas, I run into a lot of guys like the OP.

[longdecember]

Pretty sure the OP is a troll so I'll do some anti-trolling here.

Dude, you did it right. In the western world we live in a (sic) sweet mix of an over-sexualized culture that was a product of mass media technology plus guilt for historically repressing a woman's right to sleep with you even though you had a steady that we think was too busy on other stuff to fulfill your apparent needs and. POW!!!!! we got a kid that is going to give you huge tax deductions and a lot of drama for us to observe. Do not forget that if you can not deduct your child as a dependent you can deduct the child support payments.

Be a man. When the finance dumps you, ask for the ring back and relive her of the burden of becoming a sales person for the diamond. The ole' boys at debeers need a break, so much so that they are putting holograms in rings like the one you bought. Holograms cost time,education and money dude.

[YoungG03]

I dont buy comics. I borrow them from the library. Assuming and more assuming. Im gonna use the gov to my advantage. If they give me money for school...ill take it. If they give me money for a first time homeowner Im gona take it. And Im damn sure gonna take it if they suppyling food, clothing, cribs and carseat for my kid. If it helps all the better. Its not like I wont do the same to the next man. But Im preaching to her to leave her one job and just go hard in school. He dont need no Nikes but stability. Our first prioty is ourselves so that we can provide. And funky its for 21 years but I dont care bout the money. That an easy problem. Im not high maintenence, got family and know how to bargain. And whos saying I aint getting the things he needs? GO by what I post and if you dont understand dont say nuthing. Jeffery I wish I could give you your chance. The baby needs money.

Showname I agree with you completely. But she on WIC and Im still buying food (on top of that Im buying food I dont think he should have like sweet juice)....she playing these little petty games that Ill allow her to win right now. And I learned I had to choose my words when it comes to her....and this board. But I dont argue with her. Her family sees Im doing the best and have a good future plan for my son. Her problem is that she wants a nuclear family yet it wasnt discussed with me. (The mediator told me her fears about losing her child and its a normal reaction....in a case where there was no relaationship) When I heard that I walked to her and said "I not gonna do that...U know I dont think that way. How is that gonna help him? That is a cruel thing to do to ya. Stop being so controlling and we wouldnt be here." Then I went back to my plantiff area or whateva. I only gonna hurt her and my son more in the long run if im not true to my heart. I understand as a mom she would want a nucleus but she thinking like Spock after his planet blew up. And yes there is two side of the story but am I putting her in a negative light? Am I bitching? The only thing Im bitching about is the situation I got myself into and the people I hurt. But thats really past tense because Im taking care of the problem. "Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing" but it how you bounce back.

I didnt know you could deduct child support payments until a month ago but its not a concern. Funky summed up the reason I cheated (I hate how you worded but its true), and STUPIDITY! Im thankful my fiance by my side. BTW; my girl was just frozen. Ater; I paid for the DNA test (I should have let the courts paid....oh and you dont need testing to claim your child) and found out I contemplted how I was gonna tell her. I had my bruh get our lil girl (not my bio) and I told her. I was ready for screaming and violence but she was just frozen. But like my friends and family....they know Im punishing myself more than anyone can. But I still doing the counseling. Shoot life is stil the same honestly. My life didnt fall apart like I thought but I owed that to my friends and God more than anything, BTW; the condom came off (I didnt put it on personally) I did not dare touch my fiance from Jan '09 to March 10. And i aint plan to have sex with my kid's mom. Ya can say what ya want but I know me. Oh hell yea I was suprised. I never thought she would have a baby. Im thinking diseases. A baby was the last thing on my head. I even apologized and told this girl nothing would be out of this hooukp after we did it....Im soo sorry. (Like a week.) She tolllllld me about 2 weeks later the real deal. And when did i say I deserve kudos for not having three kids. Give me the whole quote.

Abortions is wrong. You killing a life that from whateva circumstances should be here. One never knows what will happen and should always think positive. I never put my views on another but if i was asked thats the answer I would give but thx for your comments Mr. Funky.....And I explained and apologized for my word choice. Letting her go means not fighting for her. This is her decision that she making and she making a great call.Its gonna be hard but once I see how my son will be part of our life It woud be better. Again Im not for abortion but a woman have a right to their body. And Puma why would someone get the pill if the condom didnt break? Hmmmmmm

Hey no one wants to stay around their kids 24/7 and if they did more props to them. Some people want downtime. I could give ya some links if you want to support that if you want. Same thing with your lover/spouse/mistress...who wants to do that 24/7? Humans need space ever so often and its nothing wrong in acknowedging it.

I love my quote at the end. So true

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Abortions is wrong. You killing a life that from whateva circumstances should be here.

Assuming it is life... so?

But there's no consensus on whether it is life at that stage, or even human life.
At best it's a potential human life.

It's not human yet, and since when have we particularly cared about any other sort of life, or really cared that much about other humans lives?

It's an issue that's been caught up in a lot of people letting emotions rule their decision, and basing the idea that it's murder based on a religious text that never goes near the issue.

In a world that's over crowded and straining for resources, if people aren't willing to dedicate the energy and years to not only providing for a child, but raising it right, why not terminate the cells that could mutate into one?

This is her decision that she making and she making a great call.

That's where I'd disagree.
Getting pregnant off of a one night stand, and then deciding to keep it without telling the father, and then fighting him when he actually wants to be a part of the child's life?
Not someone mature enough to be raising a baby.

Again Im not for abortion but a woman have a right to their body.


Well, you've got some things right in life.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Also, paying the kids way for twenty one years?

What the hell kind of messed up society have you guys got going over there?

[Agent Helix]

Someone should abort this thread already.

[keilthetarheel]

Also, paying the kids way for twenty one years?

What the hell kind of messed up society have you guys got going over there?

up that to mid 20's to near 30 and you'll be more accurately describing the U.S. now

[GozertheGozarian]

Also, paying the kids way for twenty one years?

What the hell kind of messed up society have you guys got going over there?
Court ordered child support ends at eighteen. What he does after that is his own decision.

[YoungG03]

yea its 21 in dc and abortion is just a touchy issue where I could see both sides. I think I read sometimes back that the found the fetus could feel pain at an earlier age. I seen positives of people keeping their babies where I read about those in fostor homes or raised in an environment no one would wish for....But sometimes one just gotta take a risk and hope for the best.

And that second quote was towards my fiance

[Descartes_Lives]

Also, paying the kids way for twenty one years?

What the hell kind of messed up society have you guys got going over there?

I dated a woman for three years that was very reliant on her family for money. Plus, she was (and is) in college, so the parents handled those costs as well.

Now on to the OP. Let me say this first off, as someone who has been cheated upon multiple times, I hate people who are unfaithful. You did a bad thing. You betrayed your fiancee's trust, her love, and her faith in you.

You damn well better take care of the kid. You damn well better be there for the kid at every turn, because studies show that kids from single-parent households achieve less than students from two-parent households. You better get ready to drop money on the kid at a moment's notice. You're not number one anymore. Your kid is.

For at least the first few years, probably the first five or whatever, your dating life, your work life, your social life, is all going to take a backseat to your child.


Des.

[Holy Spirit]

Assuming it is life... so?
Please tell me your joking?

[Dreadstar]

Also, paying the kids way for twenty one years?

I only had to pay to 18. Well, 18 and a couple months. I agreed to pay until the end of high school.




I'm getting a "chain-being-yanked" vibe from this thread. And I've gotten them from the same instigator before.

[Slam_Bradley]

I only had to pay to 18. Well, 18 and a couple months. I agreed to pay until the end of high school.




I'm getting a "chain-being-yanked" vibe from this thread. And I've gotten them from the same instigator before.


It varies from state to state. Some are 18. Some are "18 or to the completion of high school". A few (Oregon or maybe Washington) are 21.

[Puma]

I only had to pay to 18. Well, 18 and a couple months. I agreed to pay until the end of high school.




I'm getting a "chain-being-yanked" vibe from this thread. And I've gotten them from the same instigator before.
Agreed.


Do you also notice the change in posting style? better grammar & spelling? So much for the dyslexia excuse.

[Dom]

Someone should abort this thread already.

Abortion is wrong.

This thread might go on to cure cancer one day.

[Agent Helix]

Not if I find my coathanger first.

[YoungG03]

Agreed.


Do you also notice the change in posting style? better grammar & spelling? So much for the dyslexia excuse.
I, personally, dot see a different. I type like I talk. I can see how that can be confusing cause I drop from topic to topic at moment's notice. People have said that about me a lot.
Oh and I will; Descarte. I dont think I gonna treat my son differently in terms of rearing because he was not born in a 2 parent household. Im still gonna be tough on him, live my life thruogh him and all that other stuff.
Also Im sorry about your past relationship woes but at least you gained exp without any major consequences (i hope) from it. I hope in three more years that will reside cause that anger aint doing anyone any good. And Ill try my best to ALWAYS put my kid first. (Work sometimes take over and you miss your kid good years.)

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Please tell me your joking?

Why?

We don't treat non-human life particularly well, and there's a shit load of humans we allow to live in conditions we have deemed unacceptable for humans to live in.

So, an unwanted bit of life, with the potential to become human - I'm not sure why some rank it so highly.

That said, I don't believe in life from conception - it takes a while to grow into that.

[Minkie]

That said, I don't believe in life from conception - it takes a while to grow into that.

By any reasonable definition of life, the conceptus is alive.

I think the real question is whether it is a person.

I think a strong case can be made that (especially) early stage abortion is not the killing of a human person.

[the4thpip]

Please tell me your joking?

I want to abort your bad grammar.

[Holy Spirit]

Why?
Cause your killing somebody.
We don't treat non-human life particularly well,
That's true, but in this case we are talking about people.
and there's a shit load of humans we allow to live in conditions we have deemed unacceptable for humans to live in.
Yeah, but that's bad too......
So, an unwanted bit of life, with the potential to become human - I'm not sure why some rank it so highly.
Well I don't know about others, but for me it's because when a baby "counts" as a person is so subjective I would much rather air on the side of caution.
That said, I don't believe in life from conception - it takes a while to grow into that.
Fair enough.
I want to abort your bad grammar.
Oh comes on, it wans't that basd. was it! :tongue:

[Descartes_Lives]

Descarte. I dont think I gonna treat my son differently in terms of rearing because he was not born in a 2 parent household. Im still gonna be tough on him, live my life thruogh him and all that other stuff.
Also Im sorry about your past relationship woes but at least you gained exp without any major consequences (i hope) from it. I hope in three more years that will reside cause that anger aint doing anyone any good. And Ill try my best to ALWAYS put my kid first. (Work sometimes take over and you miss your kid good years.)

-Your kid needs to be his own person. Do not live your life THROUGH him.

-I never said anything about treating your son differently. I did say that studies show that kids from a one-parent home tend to not perform as well in school, tend to be at risk for having behavioral problems, etc. What's important is that your son has you as a MAJOR player in his life. Don't see him once a week. See him as much as possible. If she doesn't want you seeing him, argue your point, Unless she gets some court to back her up, you should be in your child's life.

-Further, it's important that your kid has a strong network of parental figures and role models. You, his mom, grandparents, neighbors, teachers....all these people can help to "raise" your son and make him a good person.

-My past bad relationships are not the point of this thread.

-No, you need to always put your kid first. No matter what. If your kid is sick, you stay home.

[longdecember]

Folks this troll is almost as good as global warming. It was about abortion from the start. With the undercurrent of passionate sex with the mother of his child. Comics nerds are entomology nerds. And I am ready to call this one M_%th3rFrak3r.

[MacQuarrie]

Why?

We don't treat non-human life particularly well, and there's a shit load of humans we allow to live in conditions we have deemed unacceptable for humans to live in.

So, an unwanted bit of life, with the potential to become human - I'm not sure why some rank it so highly.

That said, I don't believe in life from conception - it takes a while to grow into that.

I'm not going to jump into an abortion debate, but you are confusing biological terms with philosophical and legal ones.

Biologically, a fetus is very definitely (a) alive and (b) human. That is, it is absolutely, demonstrably a living organism of the species homo sapiens in the fetal stage of development. No competent biologist would ever argue otherwise.

What a fetus is not is a person. "Person" is a legal term; many non-human, non-organic, non-living things are legally classified as persons. A fetus is not a person because the law does not recognize it as such. That decision is based on a lot of different arguments, very few of them derived from biology.

Abortion law is not based on biology; it's based on philosophy, economics, and a host of other concerns.

My concern at the moment is accuracy; using philosophical terms to describe biology leads to sloppy thinking and erroneous information.

[MacQuarrie]

That's true, but in this case we are talking about people.
If we're talking about a fetus, we're not talking about people. A corporation is a person. A ship at sea is a person. Legally, a fetus is not. Personhood is not an inherent state, it's a legal status, and as such a societal construct, not a fact of science.

Accuracy.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

My concern at the moment is accuracy; using philosophical terms to describe biology leads to sloppy thinking and erroneous information.

Okay, I misused the term.

Should have been 'human life/person'.

I don't think my thinking is sloppy though.

'So?' still remains a pretty valid response in my mind to 'it's alive!'.

[YoungG03]

-Your kid needs to be his own person. Do not live your life THROUGH him.

-I never said anything about treating your son differently. I did say that studies show that kids from a one-parent home tend to not perform as well in school, tend to be at risk for having behavioral problems, etc. What's important is that your son has you as a MAJOR player in his life. Don't see him once a week. See him as much as possible. If she doesn't want you seeing him, argue your point, Unless she gets some court to back her up, you should be in your child's life.

-Further, it's important that your kid has a strong network of parental figures and role models. You, his mom, grandparents, neighbors, teachers....all these people can help to "raise" your son and make him a good person.

-My past bad relationships are not the point of this thread.

-No, you need to always put your kid first. No matter what. If your kid is sick, you stay home.


1. Chill man; I was joking about what people do with their kids however that would be hard to do.
2. "You damn well better be there for the kid at every turn, because studies show that kids from single-parent households achieve less than students from two-parent households." and thats why I said I wouldnt treat him any differently. Well best to my ability.
3. I got that community to raise a kid thing covered. I practice what I preach.
4. You sounded bitter when you stated, "Now on to the OP. Let me say this first off, as someone who has been cheated upon multiple times, I hate people who are unfaithful. You did a bad thing. You betrayed your fiancee's trust, her love, and her faith in you." BTW; whats an OP.
5. I agree in all you points esp about it takes a community to raise a child. Got that but I always have to put myself first. If im not heathly physically, mentally, and so on what good am I for him? Maybe Im wording it wrong and you cant read me.

[Eric D.]

1. Chill man; I was joking about what people do with their kids however that would be hard to do.
2. "You damn well better be there for the kid at every turn, because studies show that kids from single-parent households achieve less than students from two-parent households." and thats why I said I wouldnt treat him any differently. Well best to my ability.
3. I got that community to raise a kid thing covered. I practice what I preach.
4. You sounded bitter when you stated, "Now on to the OP. Let me say this first off, as someone who has been cheated upon multiple times, I hate people who are unfaithful. You did a bad thing. You betrayed your fiancee's trust, her love, and her faith in you." BTW; whats an OP.
5. I agree in all you points esp about it takes a community to raise a child. Got that but I always have to put myself first. If im not heathly physically, mentally, and so on what good am I for him? Maybe Im wording it wrong and you cant read me.
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