Dark X-Men: The Beginning #2 of 3 Spoilers/Review

[XaviersMisprint]

**SPOILERS OMG DON'T LOOK!!!!**





Okay, so if you guys did not know, Norman Osborn is now X-MAN NUMERO UNO. New recruits: Cloak and Dagger, Weapon Omega, Daken.

Cloak And Dagger: They are setting a field of flowers on fire for whatever reason. Perhaps they are DRUG FLOWERZ? WUT. Some professional-looking man asks Norman to deal with the situation. He does. He extends a hand to them, and tricks them into wanting to join. "I give you power, munneyz, protectionz, sex and rock n roll. Plus we need to fill ethnic and female quota, OH PLUS we decided we can market you now. Join our cause or I will press this button and implode you, Cloak. Sorry. LOL JK I SET THIS FIELD ON FIRE FOR YOU, ACCEPT MY FRIEND REQUEST PLEASE. So, they do. But you already knew that. Nothing new here. Score: 2.1/5

Weapon Omega: He is working at a construction site for a Children's Hospital. But watch out! MGH is on the loose. That's right! Mutant Growth Hormone! Even though, err.. wasn't it revealed in Endangered Species that MGH is ineffective due to "No More Mutants"? LOL O WELL we want to eff with Michael Pointer anyway for teh lulz. All of his construction crew gets infected with MGH due to Osborn's evil scheme with Scary Alt-Ape Beast, and since Pointer's powers screw over any mutant, these new TEMP. MUTANTS are all 'omg u give me fever'. Osborn manipulates Pointer. Osborn FTW. Enter: Weapon Omega. Score: 1.6/5

Daken: Daken and Osborn discuss how they are better than everyone, including savage animals. Which I found to be the most surprising. Daken tells Osborn "I R NOT CRAZY I R BE SUFFISTICATED." And Osborn LOLs at him. They go and see a performance of Oedipus at a theatre and Osborn brags about his power while he tries to manipulate Daken into replacing his deadbeat father (maybe you've heard of him, probably not) as the Wolverine of his Dark X-Men. Daken is all "UH WUT NUH UH NO YOU DIDN'T." But Osborn manipulates Daken a little itty bitty even though Daken is aware of it. Sounds familiar. Is it because all of the Dark X-Men Beginning stories have been practically the same? Hmm. Oh well! Daken's story was the best of the issue, but still... Score: 2.6/5

The art in the first was not exceptional considering some of Kirk's work we have seen in the past, but it got the job done. The second story had a very generic style to it. It told the story, but didn't entertain me that much at all. The third story was a bit better with art. It was by Paco Diaz, who also drew part of the Manifest Destiny Nightcrawler story and also the Emma Frost Manifest Destiny story (along with others I can't recall.) It was a slight variation on his style to remain consistent with the style of Dark Wolverine, but it looked nice.

Overall Score for the book: 2/5.

I am a huge X-Fan and am usually biased when rating things, but this book did hardly anything for me other than rehash all of the other stories so far in the former issue. I am tired of Osborn, and if he is to be in the X-Books, at least get creative with his usage.

Thoughts?

[yanapryde]

I loved your reviews.
They made me LOL and my coworkers think I'm nuts now.

[Filthy Mutie]

Perhaps you should've written the issue. No, this is not sarcasm.

And they're burning poppies, because that is where heroin is derived from.

[XaviersMisprint]

Perhaps you should've written the issue. No, this is not sarcasm.

And they're burning poppies, because that is where heroin is derived from.

Good to know, I figured they were flowers used to produce some sort of drug, but I was unaware of which one. I am not big on flowers or drugs, so I have something new to learn every time I am unsatisfied with my weekly Wednesdays!

[AcesX1X]

hmmm.......

[Prodigy55]

WOW. So Cloak and Dagger were trying to get the whole city intoxicated?

[4sake]

Cloak And Dagger: (I was very disappointed in this, It was the only reason why I got this issue.) 3/10

Weapon Omega (Better than I expected ) 5/10

Akihiro (Also much better than I expected) 4/5-10

[Filthy Mutie]

Good to know, I figured they were flowers used to produce some sort of drug, but I was unaware of which one. I am not big on flowers or drugs, so I have something new to learn every time I am unsatisfied with my weekly Wednesdays!

Well, opium specifically, but then that can become heroin. Supposedly, if you eat enough poppy seeds (on muffins, bagels, etc.), you can fail a drug test for opiates. This may or may not have be a rumor started by an episode of Seinfeld.

[Novaya Havoc]

lol Dagger fails so much.

[XaviersMisprint]

I was very disappointed by this issue, but I don't want my money back I guess. It is just so true that you can't judge a book by its cover, because the Jae Lee cover was gorgeous.

[XaviersMisprint]

Well, opium specifically, but then that can become heroin. Supposedly, if you eat enough poppy seeds (on muffins, bagels, etc.), you can fail a drug test for opiates. This may or may not have be a rumor started by an episode of Seinfeld.

I have actually heard that before as well but did not know that rumor started with Seinfeld. Hmm. Cloak and Dagger came off as absolute morons this issue. :(

[Supercoolshay]

WOW. So Cloak and Dagger were trying to get the whole city intoxicated?

Heroin doesn't work that way.

[creaky]

Well, opium specifically, but then that can become heroin. Supposedly, if you eat enough poppy seeds (on muffins, bagels, etc.), you can fail a drug test for opiates. This may or may not have be a rumor started by an episode of Seinfeld.

It was tested by Mythbusters and I think the results were positive, but I'm not sure. *looks it up*

Edit: Yes (http://www.snopes.com/medical/drugs/poppyseed.asp).

[DeniseXfrost]

Did Josef pm you this review?

[Monty_Cristo]

Well, opium specifically, but then that can become heroin. Supposedly, if you eat enough poppy seeds (on muffins, bagels, etc.), you can fail a drug test for opiates. This may or may not have be a rumor started by an episode of Seinfeld.

well Jerry got Poppy fired by leaking that the restaraunteur doesn't wash his hands after using the restroom.

[Filthy Mutie]

well Jerry got Poppy fired by leaking that the restaraunteur doesn't wash his hands after using the restroom.

Which is a great service.

[Filthy Mutie]

Heroin doesn't work that way.

The fire was started when Dagger tried to mainline everyone with Light Needles. One thing lead to another...

[Filthy Mutie]

It was tested by Mythbusters and I think the results were positive, but I'm not sure. *looks it up*

Edit: Yes (http://www.snopes.com/medical/drugs/poppyseed.asp).

Heh, well, there you have it.

[XaviersMisprint]

Did Josef pm you this review?

.... No? Nope.

[MuhollandDriver]

Hah.

The Cloak and Dagger one was particularly stenchy.

Dagger has neat powers. Why on earth was she wiping the field with a big ole flame throwing bug repellant?

i love those characters....expected much more. Also, the jury is still out on whether they are mutants or mutates....according to recent files at least.

[XaviersMisprint]

Hah.

The Cloak and Dagger one was particularly stenchy.

Dagger has neat powers. Why on earth was she wiping the field with a big ole flame throwing bug repellant?

i love those characters....expected much more. Also, the jury is still out on whether they are mutants or mutates....according to recent files at least.

What I don't understand is that their longest running series they ever had was titled "The Mutants Misadventures of Cloak And Dagger".

[MuhollandDriver]

What I don't understand is that their longest running series they ever had was titled "The Mutants Misadventures of Cloak And Dagger".

i know. i spose we should be thankful that their label as mutant/mutate is the most convoluted thing about their history.

Poor Betsy/Psylocke is a britishwomanwhobecameamutantwhogotcyberneticeyesan dpurplehairwhobecameabadassbuttflosswearingninjaon lylatertofindoutwasbodyswappedwithanasianwomanandw holaterbecame"crimsondawn"withshadowypowerslaterlosinghertelepathyandearning hertelekinesis(ifyouearntelekinesislaterinlifeitco meswithakatana!)whojoinedClaremont'srealityhopping crewaftersupposedlydyingandnowreturnstotheX-Menwithbothofherbodiesisabaddyinherbritishbodyyetr emainsintheasianoneafterDazzlertwo-facesitevenmoreaccordingtoeditorsBetsynowhasteleki nesis,telepathy,andprecognitivepowerstoboot!

That didn't space out how i wanted.

Nonetheless....it could be worse for Cloak and Dagger.

[Imraith Nimphais]

Mully...you forgot..herdyingbyVargas'swordonly to beresurrectedbyhernuttybigbrotherjamieusingabuncho fentangledstringsandwotnotsgivingherimmunityagains ttelepathicattacksandsucklike.

[4sake]

What I don't understand is that their longest running series they ever had was titled "The Mutants Misadventures of Cloak And Dagger".

I'd go with this....... Out universe (the real world) they are mutants & that what we (the fans) should consider them at least IMO (because The Mutants Misadventures)

In universe (Most people don't know that they are mutants & assume they aren't because they don't hang out with the X-men & etc. That why in the handbooks/files/computers that don't listed them as mutants because the government & etc don't know that they are other than heroes/anti heroes.)

[Filthy Mutie]

My head just exploded.

[MuhollandDriver]

Mully...you forgot..herdyingbyVargas'swordonly to beresurrectedbyhernuttybigbrotherjamieusingabuncho fentangledstringsandwotnotsgivingherimmunityagains ttelepathicattacksandsucklike.

Thanks so much. How on earth could ihaveforgottensuchimportanthistorylikethat!

[XaviersMisprint]

Suddenly I find myself even more stupider than I was before I read the last few posts. Ut oh!

[RunningWithJuanPablo]

So I wasn't a big fan of this. I don't know why I keep buying it either. Some of the art was LOLzOMFG. I mean, wtf, when did Osborn become a badass from Dick Tracy?

[Flâneur]

Suddenly I find myself even more stupider than I was before I read the last few posts. Ut oh!

I don't understand how that is possible.

[MuhollandDriver]

Let's turn the frown in this thread upside down!

New readers' introduction to Dagger: her committing some suspicious human cleansing with a gigantic flame throwing bugspray gun.

What better way to introduce new readers to her powers, why she's named Dagger, everything!

What other ways can characters be introduced to new readers?

Storm on a riding lawnmower?

http://i272.photobucket.com/albums/jj189/Outasite_10/RanchKing.jpg

[Filthy Mutie]

Let's turn the frown in this thread upside down!

New readers' introduction to Dagger: her committing some suspicious human cleansing with a gigantic flame throwing bugspray gun.

What better way to introduce new readers to her powers, why she's named Dagger, everything!

What other ways can characters be introduced to new readers?

Storm on a riding lawnmower?

Archangel hang-gliding, I feel, would make him way more accessible.

[Flâneur]

Storm on a riding lawnmower?
I'd buy it!

[MuhollandDriver]

Archangel hang-gliding, I feel, would make him way more accessible.

Absolutely.

i want to see Magneto bungee jumping right into the pages of Nation X.

http://i562.photobucket.com/albums/ss65/DT_EOO/bunjee.jpg

And KY should have marked Magik's comeback in New X-Men with a paintball gun.

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e389/simply_misunderstood/weekend005.jpg

[Filthy Mutie]

Fortunately for you, Warlock returns to the pages of New Mutants working at a sushi bar.

http://www.litsl.com/kiwiwinter/pics/sushi_demo_3.jpg

[MuhollandDriver]

Oh wow full of win! His alien nature, technoorganic body, powers....a sushi bar is the perfect situation to ease new readers in.

[Filthy Mutie]

Oh wow full of win! His alien nature, technoorganic body, powers....a sushi bar is the perfect situation to ease new readers in.

In this case, one panel is worth a thousand Fraptions.

[worstblogever]

It was three short, dull stories where Norman Osborn ending up getting more focus, than the characters that have been put on the X-Men.

Only Daken outshone him. Everyone else came off as a prop for him to use. Sad.

[Filthy Mutie]

It was three short, dull stories where Norman Osborn ending up getting more focus, than the characters that have been put on the X-Men.

Only Daken outshone him. Everyone else came off as a prop for him to use. Sad.

I think what the writers were trying to get across was Norman is very manipulative and not a good person. I think they succeeded here where all other writers before them have not.

[Imraith Nimphais]

Oh!Oh!Oh!...I cannot wait for the third issue!...I don't know wot to expect...It's just been one surprise after another...who's going to join up next? How will they be manipulated? Who will be the manipulator?...eeeeeek! *faints from the excitement*

[Seres]

Oh!Oh!Oh!...I cannot wait for the third issue!...I don't know wot to expect...It's just been one surprise after another...who's going to join up next? How will they be manipulated? Who will be the manipulator?...eeeeeek! *faints from the excitement*

Nobody manipulates Mystique. Ever.

[XaviersMisprint]

Nobody manipulates Mystique. Ever.

But wouldn't he be able to control her as long as he takes away Mystique's signature Mechanical Bull?

http://www.mechanicalbullrental.com/131.jpg

[MuhollandDriver]

Wow....Mystique on a mechanical bull would really be a good introduction for new readers.

These should have been in place of the fraptions. You aren't a dirty mutie for nothing.

Karma's "Likes girls." fraption should be replaced with her as a safety patrol.

http://i373.photobucket.com/albums/oo175/grace5_bucket/satefypatrol.jpg

[XaviersMisprint]

Wow....Mystique on a mechanical bull would really be a good introduction for new readers.

These should have been in place of the fraptions. You aren't a dirty mutie for nothing.

Karma's "Likes girls." fraption should be replaced with her as a safety patrol.

http://i373.photobucket.com/albums/oo175/grace5_bucket/satefypatrol.jpg

That makes so much sense! Karma's main reason for existing is clearly to help little children across the street on their way to school, so it would make more sense for her 8-page Manifest Destiny story to be about saving the world, one Elementary School child at a time.

[Filthy Mutie]

You mean like how "Canadian." fraptions should've just been a panel of them all playinig with Legos?

http://www.armyofmom.com/7-1-06%20little%20bit%20legos.jpg

[Filthy Mutie]

But wouldn't he be able to control her as long as he takes away Mystique's signature Mechanical Bull?

This makes me laugh pretty hard.

[MuhollandDriver]

Hell yes.

Northstar approves!

http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z252/bucielo/CreativityImages/creativelegoart.jpg

[XaviersMisprint]

Hell yes.

Northstar approves!

http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z252/bucielo/CreativityImages/creativelegoart.jpg

Ew, Mully, contain yourself.

[XaviersMisprint]

By the way, did anybody else notice the strange resemblance?

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/16_johnc_lgl.jpg


http://www.comicbookresources.com/assets/images/preview/3107/prv3107_pg6.jpg

[Monty_Cristo]

In this case, one panel is worth a thousand Fraptions.

i think the fraptions should be replaced by Shortpack. he knows these characters. he can be brief.