J-Bolt News

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

You know, there are legit comic pro's who love to have a bunch of people dedicated to their every move like J-bolt has.

He's got no excuse not to realse anything.
I'd buy a copy.
You'd buy a copy.

Sure we'd be getting it to laugh, but at least it'd sell.

[Wingnut]

Oops....nevermind....nothing to see here....

[Pamela Jarvinen]

how about a conversation over the latest Wendy's incident (http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=612142)?
As much as I hate to say it, I will have to stop my weekly trip to our local Wendy's to pick up a nice steamy bowl for myself and my co-workers. While I don't have a queasy stomach, this one is definitely less than appetizing (http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i7732).

[Dreadstar]

SO, am I the only one who noticed that J-Bolt's "in-discussions" movie Bombshell has been removed from IMDB?

What's the matter with you folk? Not get enough sleep over Easter?

[Cream Filled Taco]

SO, am I the only one who noticed that J-Bolt's "in-discussions" movie Bombshell has been removed from IMDB?

What's the matter with you folk? Not get enough sleep over Easter?

It's about time!

[kcarroll]

This is breaking news. I checked the IMDB boards this morning, and they were up and running. I checked them after reading this, and they are gone. I wonder what happened.

The man himself has been missing for several weeks now.

[founder81]

This is breaking news. I checked the IMDB boards this morning, and they were up and running. I checked them after reading this, and they are gone. I wonder what happened.

The man himself has been missing for several weeks now.

I guess his own hype finally caught up with him.




or an angry loan shark

You know if he did dealings with a loan shark that would explain the "mask"

[OzBat!]

Right, I'm going into J-boltenasean withdrawals... does he have any ongoing message boards anywhere that haven't been closed down yet??

[Guapo Méndez]

Looks like he finally ran out of bullcrap.

[Typo Lad]

Looks like he finally ran out of bullcrap.

A moment of silence, if you will.

[YoGo]

Oh he'll be back. Don't underestimate him.

Just read the first post by Gail in this thread and see how wrong we all were in thinking it was the end so very, very prematurely.

[Matt Algren]

This is breaking news. I checked the IMDB boards this morning, and they were up and running. I checked them after reading this, and they are gone. I wonder what happened.
It's not just the board, the whole movie is gone. Never fear though, because J-Bolt's page (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0093335/board/threads/) is still there. It's empty, but I'm sure it'll see some action soon.

[the4thpip]

Maybe we can discuss the depth of his uncredited cameo in Rat Race?

[founder81]

Maybe we can discuss the depth of his uncredited cameo in Rat Race?

Hasn't everything to be said on his starring cameo roll already been said.

maybe we can type nearly unintelligable posts and make fun of them?

[kcarroll]

I do have a question about his role in "Rat Race". I was hoping that he could provide an explanation of the difference between an "uncredited cameo" and an extra. He wanders around in the background as a "lost tourist" which is funny because he is an icon in Las Vegas, but since that's all he does and he's never in focus, I have a hard time figuring out what makes his appearance an "uncreditied cameo" and the hundreds of other people used in the crowd shots only extras.

By the way, I think it is a bit sad that I remember his explanation of why it was funny so well. I won't say I'm obsessed, but I follow the J-boltian exploits a little too closely.

[PatrickG]

I found out who CURRENTLY teaches the art class at J-Bolt's old school.

Not Jim Fisher, sad to say.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

I do have a question about his role in "Rat Race". I was hoping that he could provide an explanation of the difference between an "uncredited cameo" and an extra. He wanders around in the background as a "lost tourist" which is funny because he is an icon in Las Vegas, but since that's all he does and he's never in focus, I have a hard time figuring out what makes his appearance an "uncreditied cameo" and the hundreds of other people used in the crowd shots only extras.

By the way, I think it is a bit sad that I remember his explanation of why it was funny so well. I won't say I'm obsessed, but I follow the J-boltian exploits a little too closely.

did anyone but him refer to it as an uncredited cameo?

Otherwise it's just J-bolt going in for that extra bit of hype.

(I find it hilarious that on his bomshell page it references his want to keep it true (or whatever - god forbid "they" wander to far from the original source that doesn't exsist) he's also the "exectuive-Producer".....

Excecutive producer's a are dime a dozen.
Owen Wilson was executive producer on as Good as it Gets - and even he said he had no idea what an EP was supposed to do, so he just went to the set every day to watch Jack Nicholson act.

Jan De Bont was supposed to (contractually) get an EP credit on Minority Report - and that was just because he'd owned rights to the script once, and presumably done some development work, however Speilberg refused on the grounds that De Bont contributed nothing to his version, and never visited the set once.

Anyway, just saying that being the EP on a film doesn't mean much.
(heck Speilberg was one on AI and it was made after he was dead - although it was originally his project).

[YoGo]

Anyway, just saying that being the EP on a film doesn't mean much.
(heck Speilberg was one on AI and it was made after he was dead - although it was originally his project).

Say WHO is dead now?

Are you referring to the director of such films as "Jurassic Park", "Schindler's List" and "Minority Report"? Or do you mean the director of a similar moniker who posted on the now deceased "Bombshell" boards at IMDB?

If it's the latter I am shocked and grieved to hear of this news! :eek:

[YoGo]

Maybe we can discuss the depth of his uncredited cameo in Rat Race?

You'd have a bigger struggle trying to wade across a deep glass of water. :p

[sk716]

Anyway, just saying that being the EP on a film doesn't mean much.
(heck Speilberg was one on AI and it was made after he was dead - although it was originally his project).

I believe you mean Stanley Kubrick.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

I believe you mean Stanley Kubrick.

That's for sure.

(my friends who I studied film with wouldn't talk to me if they knew I'd mixed those two up. Thank god for the anonymity of the net.)

(Speilberg was dead long before he got around to making AI. Kubrick only a few years before hand).

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Damn I checked IMDB since I've been gone the last few days. I wanted to see If any J-Bolt crazyness had happened lately. Was I shocked to see the entire movie Is gone!


I guess the end finally came and the bullshit has hit the fan finally. J-Bolt doesn't have the IMDB listing or his own rantings on how godly he Is as a creator.


Man I miss him.

[Wingnut]

I don't know how long this has been on his site, hidden behind links with bad domains, but I found some things that I don't recall uncovering there before.

I know he had updated his yearly claim that THIS would be the year of the BOMBshell, but one link actually has a date as November 22, 2005. Hmm, the anniversary of the Kennedy Assassination.... Was "Jen Layton" on the grassy knoll?!?! Perhaps there's more behind this "movie" than we thought.

There is also a listing of other things in production. (I wonder when the hype for all of this will begin oozing from his pores like the stench of cheap booze.) Not only is there supposedly a 1 time TV special for the "Premier" of BOMBshell, but there's supposed to be an Animated TV show. (Will it be composed of some poorly put together pencil sketches?!?!) There EVENTUALLY, (not in this eon, not in this reality), supposed to be a, "When Lightning Stirkes" animated movie, and 2 live action TV shows entitled "Gargantua" and "Laser".

Has anyone else noticed that if you log on to imdb, and check your own profile with it's past messages, many of the entries are "still there", (hitting the link just brings up an error), but has them attributed to different moives?! It seems every time you go back and try it, it attributes them to different moivies. Not only is the movie gone, and it has been removed from each star's listing, but even his comments reguarding that one actress' agent rejecting offers without speaking to her. I can't remember her name, kelly jo somethingorother, but I did find it last night, and all of his posts are gone from her listing. So, I'm guessing the removal is more against him in general, than one lil' bolter over on jobolted.com suggested as it being Bolty himself shutting it down so "bashers" can't poison other possible fans.

Bolty, oh Bolty, why hast thou foresaken us????

Wingnut

[Crowley]

has anyone checked out the recent developments at the fan site?

I'm still giggling.

[Gail Simone]

has anyone checked out the recent developments at the fan site?

I'm still giggling.


Wait...what recent developments?

Gail

[YoGo]

They're just rambling on about the tragedy of Bombshell being removed from imdb.

[Cam63]

Yeah and it's the doings of the evil bashers that caused it.

Lovely hilarity !

[palaeomerus]

(Speilberg was dead long before he got around to making AI. Kubrick only a few years before hand).

E's not dead! E's jus restin' !

[Crowley]

Yeah and it's the doings of the evil bashers that caused it.

Lovely hilarity !
the fact that Captain Planet was the breaking point kills me.

[the4thpip]

E's not dead! E's jus restin' !
'elloooooooo Polly! :D

[Jared_Humpherys]

'elloooooooo Polly! :D

That's it! J-Bolt's just pining for the fjord!

[SUPERECWFAN1]

I wish J-Bolt would make his grand return soon. A new listing at Imdb. And blaming MacQuarrie , Gail and everyone at CBR for crushin Bombshell as usual.

[Roquefort Raider]

Well, Bombshell is getting a little exposure, what with her Identity Crisis (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0373513348/qid=1112713550/sr=2-3/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_3/002-4723862-7190409) tie-in and all...

[kcarroll]

Well, Bombshell is getting a little exposure, what with her Identity Crisis (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0373513348/qid=1112713550/sr=2-3/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_3/002-4723862-7190409) tie-in and all...

Very impresive. I think that is an outstanding reference. One that mihgt even bring the Bolt himself out of hiding. If he were still active, i would love to see him explain the use of Bombshell in Identity Crisis as if we were all small children.

[Jared_Humpherys]

i would love to see him explain the use of Bombshell in Identity Crisis as if we were all small children.

Tell us a story about rape and bashers, unca J-Bolt! :rolleyes:

[YoGo]

This thread is just no fun anymore. I hope j-bolt recovers soon from his meltdown and comes back to thrill us again soon!

Let us all send our prayers and thoughts to J-bolt at this time of need.

[Dreadstar]

This thread is just no fun anymore. I hope j-bolt recovers soon from his meltdown and comes back to thrill us again soon!

I'm sorry, I know I'm a downer and all, and I'm not taking it the fun vein it's intended but...

I don't.

There comes a time after pulling off the wings of the fly, swatting it into a pulp and flicking its remains from the table that you should go wash your hands and forget all about it.

I think it's time we remanded J-Bolt to a fond memory, like KCSuberman, or Binary11, or Conan, or well, you get the idea. Something worth reminising about like the snow fall on April 1st, but not worth reliving, like the food poisoning from Arthur Treacher's.

[Guapo Méndez]

This thread is just no fun anymore. I hope j-bolt recovers soon from his meltdown and comes back to thrill us again soon!

Let us all send our prayers and thoughts to J-bolt at this time of need.

Like I said, he ran out of bullcrap.


So he's in a mid-western farmhouse, being fully refilled of the freshest bullcrap available. Bear in mind that packing 5+ years of bullcrap into an organism takes time.

Maybe by december we'll hear more about him.

[Justin D.]

Something worth reminising about like the snow fall on April 1st, but not worth reliving, like the food poisoning from Arthur Treacher's.

Very well put even if I had to look up Arthur Treacher's.

[Dreadstar]

Very well put even if I had to look up Arthur Treacher's.

Heh.

Late 70's.

Food poisoning so bad that I was actually hallucinating.

I've been trying to reachieve that level of being fucked-up (without the vomiting and 104 fever) ever since. *sigh*

[Sean McKeever]

Holy cow! I can't believe I only just found this thread!

As Gail (hi, stinky!) may know, I've been a J-Bolt "enthusiast" since the Warren Ellis Forum days, and was doing a little Google check-up when I came across this. I read maybe the first 12 pages or so, but man, this is a lot to wade through!

I see J-Bolt's website and forum are down. Can anyone tell me if he has any sort of web presence any longer, and if so, where? Also, did he ever show up on this forum? I tried to find him in this 103-page monster, but couldn't.

Thanks!

-Sean
http://seanmckeever.com

[Wingnut]

I see J-Bolt's website and forum are down. Can anyone tell me if he has any sort of web presence any longer, and if so, where? Also, did he ever show up on this forum? I tried to find him in this 103-page monster, but couldn't.

Thanks!

-Sean
http://seanmckeever.com

Sean,

He had to change hosts. I think he blames "the bashers", but I think he either didn't pay his bill, or otherwise pissed them off. His current site is http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com . Many of the links are either unlinked, or linked to the old host. Some you can just change the domain in the address to get to what you want. As far as I've seen, his forum is still completely down for violating their terms of service.

Wingnut

[Gail Simone]

Holy cow! I can't believe I only just found this thread!

As Gail (hi, stinky!) may know, I've been a J-Bolt "enthusiast" since the Warren Ellis Forum days, and was doing a little Google check-up when I came across this. I read maybe the first 12 pages or so, but man, this is a lot to wade through!

I see J-Bolt's website and forum are down. Can anyone tell me if he has any sort of web presence any longer, and if so, where? Also, did he ever show up on this forum? I tried to find him in this 103-page monster, but couldn't.

Thanks!

-Sean
http://seanmckeever.com

You missed him calling me a lebian!

Is Gravity good goodness?


And peeyew, what's that smell?

Gail

[Sean McKeever]

His current site is http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com
"WE'RE BACK WITH A VENGEANCE...AGAIN!!"

OMFG that's brilliant!!

Thanks, Wingnut! I can breathe easy once again.

[Sean McKeever]

You missed him calling me a lebian!
At least he didn't call you a hair dresser...

Is Gravity good goodness?
It has Michael Norton art! How could it be anything other?!?


And peeyew, what's that smell?
Chloroform. Now sit still...

[founder81]

good goodness?


with caramel and chocolate sprinkles on top

[YoGo]

Sean,

Don't forget to check www.jbolted.com for J-bolt's first ever fansite! (....that has actually been proven to exist)

[Wingnut]

"WE'RE BACK WITH A VENGEANCE...AGAIN!!"

OMFG that's brilliant!!

Thanks, Wingnut! I can breathe easy once again.


"WE'RE BACK WITH VENGEANCE....AGAIN!!..FOR THE 372 TIME...AND THIS TIME WE REALLY REALLY REALLY MEAN IT!!!!!!!

[Wingnut]

Too bad there wasn't one website with the archived loads of crap spewed from J-Bolt. Although it would be a bit of copying off of an idea, I'm reminded of one of my favorite sites, "WrestleCrap: The Very Worst of Professional Wrestling". We could have a BoltCrap: "The very best of J-Bolt's worst crap." It's Boltdilli-icious!

Wingnut

[Cam63]

You missed him calling me a lebian!

Is Gravity good goodness?


And peeyew, what's that smell?

Gail

Wasn't that the name of an ancient Roman road, the Lebian Way ?

[Cam63]

Sean,

Don't forget to check www.jbolted.com for J-bolt's first ever fansite! (....that has actually been proven to exist)

Meh. That website is inhabited by wankers and fools who wished they were wankers !

;)

[the4thpip]

Meh. That website is inhabited by wankers and fools who wished they were wankers !

;)
Hey!
I want you to know that I am a very prolific wanker! :evilangry

[founder81]

Too bad there wasn't one website with the archived loads of crap spewed from J-Bolt. Although it would be a bit of copying off of an idea, I'm reminded of one of my favorite sites, "WrestleCrap: The Very Worst of Professional Wrestling". We could have a BoltCrap: "The very best of J-Bolt's worst crap." It's Boltdilli-icious!

Wingnut

I thougth monkey spit was doing this.

[MacQuarrie]

I thougth monkey spit was doing this.
No, sadly we haven't kept up. Though I do have saved archives o fthe now-deleted lunacy that was the IMDb's "Bombshell" forum, along with amy other choice tidbits. If I can steal some time from my hectic schedule, I may put together a follow-up page. But don't hold your breath.

[Cam63]

Hey!
I want you to know that I am a very prolific wanker! :evilangry

Congratulations on being a prolific wanker, Pip !

I'd shake your hand, but...well...you know...

Maybe after you washed it several times with industrial soap :D

[founder81]

No, sadly we haven't kept up. Though I do have saved archives o fthe now-deleted lunacy that was the IMDb's "Bombshell" forum, along with amy other choice tidbits. If I can steal some time from my hectic schedule, I may put together a follow-up page. But don't hold your breath.

**shocked and confused**

but....but...but...if you don't....who .... will???

**/shocked and confused **

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Too bad there wasn't one website with the archived loads of crap spewed from J-Bolt. Although it would be a bit of copying off of an idea, I'm reminded of one of my favorite sites, "WrestleCrap: The Very Worst of Professional Wrestling". We could have a BoltCrap: "The very best of J-Bolt's worst crap." It's Boltdilli-icious!

Wingnut

As a die hard wrestling fan I must say Wrestlecrap Is a perfect deal. I love that site and the book Reynolds wrote about the Death of WCW with Brian Alveraz Is totally a great read.

I'd love to see a J-Bolt type Wrestlecrap site where Gail and MacQuarrie could go over his greatest hits like RD Reynolds does Wrestling thats pretty crappy. :)

[kcarroll]

I thought that one of the owners of Monkey Spit entered into an agreement with J-Bolt not to spread "the lies and the bashing" so that he may make his movie in peace. If MacQuarrie puts up a follow up page, won't that break the spirit of that agreement? Mac, if you and J-Bolt can't end your feud, what hope does the world have?

Here's a wild thought. Is it possible that J-Bolt took the advice offered on numerous occasions, and decided to shut up and get some work done?

[sk716]

I thought that one of the owners of Monkey Spit entered into an agreement with J-Bolt not to spread "the lies and the bashing" so that he may make his movie in peace. If MacQuarrie puts up a follow up page, won't that break the spirit of that agreement? Mac, if you and J-Bolt can't end your feud, what hope does the world have?

Here's a wild thought. Is it possible that J-Bolt took the advice offered on numerous occasions, and decided to shut up and get some work done?

J-Bolt himself broke that agreement during the IMDb debacle. Well, that and the agreement was never finalized anyway.

[Guapo Méndez]

Here's a wild thought. Is it possible that J-Bolt took the advice offered on numerous occasions, and decided to shut up and get some work done?

Wild thought indeed. You assume there is something to work on.

Try as you might, you can't build a house out of vapor.

[Nate C.]

You know, there are legit comic pro's who love to have a bunch of people dedicated to their every move like J-bolt has.

He's got no excuse not to realse anything.
I'd buy a copy.
You'd buy a copy.

Sure we'd be getting it to laugh, but at least it'd sell.

True. True. True.

But then, he would be unable to control his creation the way he does now with his micro-managing, paranoiac zeal. It would actually be out there and open for interpretation and ridicule/praise.

I don't think his fragile ego could handle that.

[MacQuarrie]

I thought that one of the owners of Monkey Spit entered into an agreement with J-Bolt not to spread "the lies and the bashing" so that he may make his movie in peace. If MacQuarrie puts up a follow up page, won't that break the spirit of that agreement? Mac, if you and J-Bolt can't end your feud, what hope does the world have?

Here's a wild thought. Is it possible that J-Bolt took the advice offered on numerous occasions, and decided to shut up and get some work done?
We entered into an agreement to discuss such an agreement, but it was all dependent upon his making good on the posters.

He didn't, so I don't have to.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

I thought that one of the owners of Monkey Spit entered into an agreement with J-Bolt not to spread "the lies and the bashing" so that he may make his movie in peace. If MacQuarrie puts up a follow up page, won't that break the spirit of that agreement? Mac, if you and J-Bolt can't end your feud, what hope does the world have?

Here's a wild thought. Is it possible that J-Bolt took the advice offered on numerous occasions, and decided to shut up and get some work done?


Considering J-Bolt has spent 5 years working on 1 comic thus far I doubt he's " shutting up and getting work done ." Odds are he's ran short a few bucks on his Internet connection and this Is the reason for his dissapearance !

[Gail Simone]

J-bolt French kissed my dog.

Gail

[Typo Lad]

J-bolt French kissed my dog.

Who hasn't?

[Guapo Méndez]

J-bolt French kissed my dog.

Gail

Did he? Or he just said he was going to, and put all the event on the members area of his site?

And that Pat Morita was hired to play the dog's owner?

[SUPERECWFAN1]

J-bolt French kissed my dog.

Gail


If thats his " work " then thats the most he's done In 5 years. Next he'll be kissing stray cats !

[Shade]

J-bolt French kissed my dog.

Gail

But in all fairness your dog has always been a bit of a slut.

[kcarroll]

We entered into an agreement to discuss such an agreement, but it was all dependent upon his making good on the posters.

He didn't, so I don't have to.

Clearly I don't post enough for people to know when I am kidding, and for some reason, I won't use the smiley faces.

I was pretty sure that the agreement was up in smoke when he started threatening the class action suit. (which remains one of the J-bolt highlights.)

I don't think he's working on anything either, but wouldn't it be something if he was? If he suddenly resurfaced in June with a completed issue of Bombshell, wouldn't that be amazing? I don't think the comic would be very good, based on his writing, but I would be surprised.

[MacQuarrie]

Clearly I don't post enough for people to know when I am kidding, and for some reason, I won't use the smiley faces.

I was pretty sure that the agreement was up in smoke when he started threatening the class action suit. (which remains one of the J-bolt highlights.)

I don't think he's working on anything either, but wouldn't it be something if he was? If he suddenly resurfaced in June with a completed issue of Bombshell, wouldn't that be amazing? I don't think the comic would be very good, based on his writing, but I would be surprised.
I have the same problem.

You must know that I very much enjoyed the idea of agreeing to make an agreement, then having him carry on as if it were a done deal.

[sk716]

You know, I think I may go to work on a "History of J-Bolt Madness" site if Mac doesn't.
Once Super Comic Guys is done, I'm on it. Hopefully J-Bolt will have resurfaced by then so there will be new information added daily. And if he hasn't at least it will break up the monotony of J-Bolt free days.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

You know, I think I may go to work on a "History of J-Bolt Madness" site if Mac doesn't.
Once Super Comic Guys is done, I'm on it. Hopefully J-Bolt will have resurfaced by then so there will be new information added daily. And if he hasn't at least it will break up the monotony of J-Bolt free days.


Once he pays the bill for the Internet connection....he shall return! Make It like Wrestlecrap and have MacQuarrie and Gail post some fun J-Bolt stories and I guarentee....the site will be one of the most popular EVER ! :D

[founder81]

You know, I think I may go to work on a "History of J-Bolt Madness" site if Mac doesn't.
Once Super Comic Guys is done, I'm on it. Hopefully J-Bolt will have resurfaced by then so there will be new information added daily. And if he hasn't at least it will break up the monotony of J-Bolt free days.

*pacing*

waiting to boomark said page

[sk716]

*pacing*

waiting to boomark said page

Then you had better start thinking up snappy names that look good under a sub-domain. I'm paying for too many sites already.

[MacQuarrie]

Then you had better start thinking up snappy names that look good under a sub-domain. I'm paying for too many sites already.
If you build it, we'll host it as a subdomain of Monkey Spit. My problem is time.

[sk716]

If you build it, we'll host it as a subdomain of Monkey Spit. My problem is time.

Thanks, but I've got access to a couple of subdomains already. I think it would be especially funny under the Super Comic Guys Banner anyway. I'm sure Monkey Boy and Azrael won't object. And there's a heck of a lot of space and bandwidth for it there.

Just deciding the best way to set it up, I was thinking primarily html with a blog. Going all out php seems like a waste since most of the information would be static.

When I've worked out a couple of design details I'll hit you up for your personal J-Bolt Archives.

[sk716]

How twisted is this?

J-Bolt at Cinema.com (http://www.cinema.com/search/person_detail.phtml?ID=12672)

I find him the the most obscure places.

The J-Bolt encyclopedia is under construction. Although, sometime before midnight I need to pause and e-file my state taxes.

Anybody want to help? Send me a PM and I'll set you up with a project.

Damn, I wish the Wayback Machine worked on his Bravenet Forum, but alas, that madness is lost forever.

And no, I'm not giving up the link until all of the pages are at least accessible if not finished.

Unless you beg...








alot.

[Papergirl]

How about bribery? Will that work?

I only ask because I have a full bag of Star Wars M&Ms (the milk chocolate Jedi mix ones) here, and they're awfully lonely...

~Bev

[sk716]

How about bribery? Will that work?

I only ask because I have a full bag of Star Wars M&Ms (the milk chocolate Jedi mix ones) here, and they're awfully lonely...

~Bev


HA! I already have a Dark Chocolate Sith M&M's

[SUPERECWFAN1]

HA! I already have a Dark Chocolate Sith M&M's


Temptation will lead you to the Darkside .

[Gail Simone]

A small bit of J-bolt news for those of us who are J-Bolt starved.

J-bolt claims that the cops go crazy for him due to his massive celebrity. SNORK!

I asked the guy in Las Vegas who is considered THE authority on comics, owns a comics store there, if he'd ever heard of J-Bolt or Jim Fisher, and the only time the guy had ever heard of him was on one of the J-Bolt threads on the net somewhere.

So, the most knowledgeable comics store owner in J-BOLT'S OWN TOWN has never heard of him.

I love this stuff. It's teeny, but never fails to amuse.

Best,

Gail

[Jared_Humpherys]

HA! I already have a Dark Chocolate Sith M&M's


<---------- *points to avatar* :D

[Papergirl]

HA! I already have a Dark Chocolate Sith M&M's
For some reason, the dark chocolate M&Ms don't appeal to me. I prefer the milk chocolate ones.

That said, I do still have my stash Hershey's Dark Kisses (damn, I love those things). And I think I'm going to go raid them now. :D

~Bev

[Azrael52]

A small bit of J-bolt news for those of us who are J-Bolt starved.

I love this stuff. It's teeny, but never fails to amuse.

Gail
Teeny stuff is sometimes the best. . . er. . .

[Wingnut]

A small bit of J-bolt news for those of us who are J-Bolt starved.

J-bolt claims that the cops go crazy for him due to his massive celebrity. SNORK!

I asked the guy in Las Vegas who is considered THE authority on comics, owns a comics store there, if he'd ever heard of J-Bolt or Jim Fisher, and the only time the guy had ever heard of him was on one of the J-Bolt threads on the net somewhere.

So, the most knowledgeable comics store owner in J-BOLT'S OWN TOWN has never heard of him.

I love this stuff. It's teeny, but never fails to amuse.

Best,

Gail

About a month ago, a friend of mine who owns a comic/gaming store on the West coast of Florida went to Vegas for a toy or some such thing convention. I had sent him numerous J-Bolt links, and some pix. I asked him to see if he could find out anything about Bolty. I talked to him while he was in Vegas, and he said that he didn't want to ask too much, since if it got back to J-Dork, it would just pump up his already psychotically big ego. However, he did say that he didn't find ANY of his crap in all of the stores in Vegas, and the little he did ask proved fruitless. Just another example that Bolty is just a legend in his own sick, and demented mind.

Oh, and as far as my previous post about a repository of "J-Bolt Goodness", I realize Mac has his page, but I figured more could be done. I only saved a couple of Bolty's posts, but if someone does such a thing, I'd be willing to help in any humble way I could.

KEEP THE J-BOLT GOODNESS ALIVE!!!! No matter how strange or depressing our own lives get, we can rest well at night knowing we aren't as messed up as J-Bolt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With much respect and admiration, I remain..........

Wingnut

[Wingnut]

O.K., sorry to interupt again, but I nearly pissed myself when I read this. I know this has nothing at all to do with J-Bolt, (I somewhat hope), but it was still freaking funny.

I think we all know about the Wendy's "finger in the chili" thing. The police are now looking more at the claimant than the restaurant. A day or two ago, many news outlets reported that there was a Vegas "area" woman who had lost the end of her finger from a leopard bite.. She took the finger to the hospital, and they couldn't re-attach it. There were//are inferrences that the finger in the Wendy's chili may be hers. (Beyond Wendy's control.)

Where does this fingerless Leopard Lady come from?!?!??!?! PAHRUMP, NV. The same home freakin' town as J freakin' nut-job BOLT.!!!!! I had heard that people on /near the left coast were rather messed up, but these take the cake. I wonder if the fingerless chick was supposed to be the new "BOMBshell"???!!!!???!!!!!????!!!

O.K., here's the link http://www.snopes.com/horrors/food/chili.asp

Later, all.............

Wingnut :cool:

[Wingnut]

P.S.

No insult intended for those of you "normal" people on the "West Coast" of our great nation.

Those who get it shouldn't be too offended. I apologize to those that have a brain that may be offended....for those that don't have a brain, I really couldn't give a crap. :p

Wingnut

[sk716]

O.K., sorry to interupt again, but I nearly pissed myself when I read this. I know this has nothing at all to do with J-Bolt, (I somewhat hope), but it was still freaking funny.

I think we all know about the Wendy's "finger in the chili" thing. The police are now looking more at the claimant than the restaurant. A day or two ago, many news outlets reported that there was a Vegas "area" woman who had lost the end of her finger from a leopard bite.. She took the finger to the hospital, and they couldn't re-attach it. There were//are inferrences that the finger in the Wendy's chili may be hers. (Beyond Wendy's control.)

Where does this fingerless Leopard Lady come from?!?!??!?! PAHRUMP, NV. The same home freakin' town as J freakin' nut-job BOLT.!!!!! I had heard that people on /near the left coast were rather messed up, but these take the cake. I wonder if the fingerless chick was supposed to be the new "BOMBshell"???!!!!???!!!!!????!!!

O.K., here's the link http://www.snopes.com/horrors/food/chili.asp

Later, all.............

Wingnut :cool:

Is her name Heather?


I wonder how she managed to get her finger bitten off by a leopard. How dumb do you have to be?

[SUPERECWFAN1]

A small bit of J-bolt news for those of us who are J-Bolt starved.

J-bolt claims that the cops go crazy for him due to his massive celebrity. SNORK!

I asked the guy in Las Vegas who is considered THE authority on comics, owns a comics store there, if he'd ever heard of J-Bolt or Jim Fisher, and the only time the guy had ever heard of him was on one of the J-Bolt threads on the net somewhere.

So, the most knowledgeable comics store owner in J-BOLT'S OWN TOWN has never heard of him.

I love this stuff. It's teeny, but never fails to amuse.

Best,

Gail


Of course he doesn't know who J-Bolt Is ! He wears " The MASK !! " . Imagine If the J-Bolt fanatics saw him In public. They would chase him like the Beatles all over his hometown ! :eek:

[sk716]

I'm formatting the IMDb threads into HTML and I noticed something that didn't catch my attention before:


J-Bolt:

I've already shown one of the pieces of REAL journalism that was written by me, which proved the Jason Pearson situation and my truthfulness about it. I plan on putting more up, while the site's being renovated.

Does anybody know what he's talking about or where I can get a copy? I know he can't be talking about his J.B. Fisher interview.

[PatrickG]

Did J-Bolt have manicured nails? He disappeared about the time the Chili story surfaced, right?

Maybe it started as a scheme: Own your very own collectible piece of the J-Bolt Legend.

And then it went horribly wrong.

[Cam63]

A small bit of J-bolt news for those of us who are J-Bolt starved.

J-bolt claims that the cops go crazy for him due to his massive celebrity. SNORK!

I asked the guy in Las Vegas who is considered THE authority on comics, owns a comics store there, if he'd ever heard of J-Bolt or Jim Fisher, and the only time the guy had ever heard of him was on one of the J-Bolt threads on the net somewhere.

So, the most knowledgeable comics store owner in J-BOLT'S OWN TOWN has never heard of him.

I love this stuff. It's teeny, but never fails to amuse.

Best,

Gail

They both admire and fear the great man.

[the4thpip]

He's back posting on the j-bolted forums!
http://www.jbolted.com/phpBB2/index.php

So, has BombShell been scrapped?

Not even close.
The bash forums temporarily succeeded in turning IMDb against the listing by continually making their absurd complaints and posts. As a result, IMDb and I agreed to pulling the listing until we're in filming, so that the bashers could not cause any further complications to the project, nor could they post anymore of their libelous remarks that made the site's visitors very uncomfortable.
I cannot give you details about where the project is now, or what is being done to the bashers for their efforts, but rest assured that the project is running along at full throttle and those who attempted to quell its progress are being dealt with in the worst way imaginable.
Don't lose faith.
J-

[OzBat!]

I... I... I'm being DEALT WITH?

In the WORST WAY IMAGINABLE??

Wow! My heart is all a-quiver! I can imagine quite a lot...

dies!

And I was such a well-mannered poster on IMDB too!

[SUPERECWFAN1]

He must have paid his Internet bill. I'm happy to see he's back and just as loony as he ever was. This Is a great universe. Love how things cycle back. :)

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Also If you want J-Bolt will tutor you Into being a " Pro " Comic artist & writer. For 20 bucks a session over the computer he will show you the basics ! You will learn from a Pro In this Industry.

Plus Its good to see the usual delusions of making a movie are still going. ;)

[Gail Simone]

HA!

He had nothing to do with IMDB removing his posts. They removed it because of repeated complaints for his disgusting sexual insults.

Of course, we have it all saved.


Gail

[Gail Simone]

Oh, my GOD.

"Well... if it is any indication, everyone in the LBE family of companies are family. I don't, nor do any management staff, treat anyone like an under-thumb employee, unless they are found to have committed major offenses against company policies. This is why everyone who works for me is extremely loyal to me and the company; they're treated with the same respect as they give.
Individual egos are unacceptable because we are all part of a team: a family. If such an ego surfaces, it is met with the knowledge that though their role in the family is important, they are not irreplacable. And they are also reminded that I'm not only the top-of-the-food-chain (the head of the family) but I am so because I can do each and every person's job, in the family. Everyone is well acknowledged and rewarded for their part in the family, but they are required to have the modesty to work with everyone else, and not consider their efforts as a one-person show.
We run our operations in the same fashion as I used to teach my classes: compliment their strengths before giving recognition to improvements that are needed.
When offenses have been committed, depending on their severity, we have a 3-strike policy implemented to deal with the situations and give opportunity for the offender to make ammends for their actions: strike 1) verbal warning; strike 2) suspension without pay; strike 3) employment termination. Each strike has a time-length of 60 days, so someone who has a strike 2 has 4 months to make the situation right or risk termination. The strikes are not given frivolously, mind you. I strictly stick to the original concept of "innocent until proven guilty," in that no strike will be incurred until I personally see evidence that the offense has been committed, because I know that personality-clashes can cause a person to be biased against another. Unfortunately, that is human nature. And in a situation that involves one person's word against another, I'll give them both the opportunity to submit to a lie-detector examination for incongruities and circumstance.
We do not allow bigotry of ANY nature to exist and, if any personnel is found to even suggest a hint of such an atrocity, which includes bias against race, creed, color, ethniticity, gender, sexual preference, etc., the matter is thoroughly investigated with a possible termination resulting upon the offender.
The same is accustomed for not only sexual harassmnt, but for "head-hunters." If you don't know what we refer to as a head-hunter, that is a person who makes false claims of sexual harassment in order to jeopardize another crew member's employment due to bias against the accused, to further their employment position whereas they accuse the act upon their opponent who is attempting to attain the same position, or any other reason that a head-hunter makes such an accusation. When an accuser works closely with another person, and that other person makes inappropriate comments, jokes, etc., the accuser is within their rights to make the accusation. On the other hand, I've even had a case where a female lodged a complaint against a male employee because he was making jokes with other employees (who were enjoying the jokes, joining along) during their lunch hour, and she walked past the group, eavesdropping on their personal-time fun, and called him out of the group, loudly complaining about his jokes. When he stood up and touched her forearm, attempting to apologize for her being offended by invading in their private conversation, she started screaming "sexual harassment," embarrassing the accused man along with the others, who were embarrassed for him. The matter was brought to my attention, whereas I interviewed both parties and all witnesses (which entailed virtually that entire shift) before watching the surveillance tape of the area, finding her to be the offender. She received a warning and something that NOBODY likes, from their superior: a long lecture on what she had done wrong, how she could have easily walked away from their private conversation without her being offended by her own actions, and made her apologize to everyone that was affected by those actions. I never, nor did anyone else, had a problem with her again.
We give bonus's for extraordinary accomplishments and teamwork. Those who have the determination to rise in ranks are met with success, depending on their efforts in doing so.
If somebody finds difficulty in doing their job, but has the drive to be the best they can, we work on finding them a position that suits their talents and self-esteem (even if that is only accomplished in another department), as opposed to terminating their employment. We reward those who do their jobs flawlessly and learn more with promotion on top of giving them the opportunity to teach others what they know to make the whole team even better, since we do not compete against each other, which would divide our family.
In short (I know it might be a bit late for that, after this lengthy reply), we've created a working environment that recognizes the fact that every facet of our efforts reflect how wondrous our ending jewel will be considered by those that we do our service for. We all remember that not only do we have the dream job of creating and making entertainment media available, but that we do so remembering that we are also fans of those entertainment medias, so first off, we create them keeping the end result pleasing to us first, which makes our audiences happy because we created them for the fans (us) before getting them to the fans (everyone else). If we're not happy with what we're doing, we can't rightfully expect anyone else to be. If we're behind schedule, it is because we're doing everything possible to make that particular project even better than what we did previously without changing the soul of everything we've done.
Even though this reply was rather lengthy, I hope it answered your question. If not, please let me know what part I didn't answer and I'll rectify that.
J- "

[Typo Lad]

And let that be a lesson to anyone; if you're insulted by something, don't complain or you'll get yelled at by your boss for being a stupid GIRL!

[the4thpip]

A true humanitarian.

[Gail Simone]

I am speechless.

Somone else will have to analyze that for hilarity.

Whew.

Gail

[Typo Lad]

Admit it Gail, you missed him.

[the4thpip]

He sure can be prolix.

[Gail Simone]

Man, his stuff at Jbolted is priceless.

Wow.

Gail

[Gail Simone]

I think this is my favorite bit:

"The matter was brought to my attention, whereas I interviewed both parties and all witnesses (which entailed virtually that entire shift) before watching the surveillance tape of the area, finding her to be the offender."

HA!

Can't keep a crappy website going, but has SHIFTS of people and surveillance cameras.

Oh, man. He's hilarious.

Gail

[Typo Lad]

I imagine that the offices of LBE are inside his head, and the last time he had to deal with a sexual harrasment suit, it was because Rosy Palm wouldn't stop touching Peter.

[PatrickG]

"Do you spend time with your family? Good. Because a man that doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man."

I think J-Bolt's been watching the Godfather what with all the "family" talk. Or maybe he's been watching Queer Eye. Nah... The mullet would be gone then... (Although it would be great if we could get J-Bolt *ON* Queer Eye.)

*cue Polka rendition of the Godfather theme in honor of J-Bolt's return -- and the return of his "family"*

[Gail Simone]

Wow, he blames ALL his failures on MacQuarrie.

Didn't keep any of the content promises on his site? MacQuarrie!

Kept changing the release date of his non-existent film? MacQuarrie!

Actors and Actresses refuse to work with him? MacQuarrie!

Website is a ridiculous mess where the links never work? MacQuarrie!

Idmb cancels his account because of disgusting sexual comments he made? MacQuarrie!

EBAY cancels his account? MacQuarrie!

If he ever gets foot rot, I know it's somehow Mac's fault!



Mac! Did you hear that? You're able to stop the largest entertainment conglomerate since Sony just by sending a few polite emails!

You BEAST!

Gail

[PatrickG]

Hey, Mac...

Think you could send a few polite e-mails out asking about the student loan administration in a couple of years...?

[YoGo]

OMG!

J-bolt's back!

And BOP #81 comes out thursday. Can this week get ANY better?!

[Guapo Méndez]

Yep. The man has been completely restocked of bullcrap.
It's even high quality bullcrap, because he's now created a suit that can help astronauts! And, like great inventions, was done while doing something else -namely the Marrina suit.

Doc Savage and Reed Richards have nothing on the genius that is J-Bolt.

I loved how the "humanitarian" is such a staunch defender of people and gives biased people a hard time and yet, he had no qualms to say the things he did about Gail, MacQ and the rest.

J-Bolt is so out there, he's here again.

[Crowley]

my heart is filled with joy...

He has gotten wierder and wierder. He's like an Arrested Development character come to life.

[Crowley]

Concerning women not making good writers, I cannot comment on it because I do not have any prejudices against anyone for gender, creed, color, religion, sexual preference, political beliefs (I think I've covered all the bias's that have been mentioned in this string of posts), etc. I judge people individually, based upon their individuality, their moral fiber, their personality, and their talent.
Where does this pertain to my opinion of Gail Simone? I do not read her work, so I cannot comment on her talent, though she does post misspellings, yet has the unmithigated gaul to correct others.
I don't read her work because the rest of those traits, that I judge, are sorely lacking in her. She sings an exclusive contract with DC, yet she sincerely offers her services to me, breaking that contract, then covers it up by saying she was joking in order to insult me. Bluntly, she contradicts what most of us know as work and moral ethics. In all fairness to gender, MacQuarrie is a duplicate of her and only his voice sounds male. All of them have the semblance to snakes in the vain that they are cold-blooded, have forked tongues, slither about unknowingly until they try and spread their venom, as well as have no visible genetalia.
Either Simone and MacQuarrie are closely related through inbreeding, or they are so into each others' jocks that they can be easily mistaken for mating like the reptiles they resemble. Why do I say this? MacQuarrie makes up a story about not receiving posters that he ordered, which I erringly allowed his order to go through even though better judgement, on my part, warned me that it was another of his schemes (and I was proven right by his claim of not receiving them in order to further the bashing against me) and, after back & forth banter with him going so far as to involve an attorney, whom I graciously informed the absurdity of such frivilousness and he backed away, I achieved my own legal counsel to finally make him pay for all of his indescretions. Seeing her butt-buddy in trouble with me, Simone publicly tells MacQuarrie that she has some form of "medical information" about me that he would "find useful" against me.
Now, considering that my only medical dilemma is a bad back, and everyone knows about it, this so-called information has me curious. As I said to Boltess: "I wish I knew the identity of the female in those manipulated multiple photos [from an earlier, deleted post on this forum] because I believe that information would be key to finding out the precise nature of the mysterious rumors that the bashers have been attempting to frivolously circulate for the past several months, concerning my health, and I haven't even been made privy to what these rumors entail. I want to know what they are trying to say since they are obviously trying to find another way to cause harm to me, though I'm curious of what type of health conditions they can create, which actually would make me look like nothing less than a martyr and show them as being even bigger fools than they've already shown themselves to be... besides the litigating ramifications of them trying to illegally share false medical information about me, publicly. The whole situation is mind-boggling to me, but it is perfectly logical that the final piece of this puzzle would be in knowing who the female is, in that photo, as I don't recognize it, even in comparison to those of ex-girlfriends that do, or would possibly, have a grudge against me. On the same note of that confusion, I can't understand why they wouldn't boast of such information, aimed at me, if they seriously thought it would have any validity."
The reasons for Simone, and MacQuarrie, being seen as the scum they are is quite obvious to anyone that has bared witness to their attempts.
By the way, if anyone does have the information that I brought up to Boltess, and quoted in this post, I would greatly appreciate the knowledge. I need a good laugh and such information will be another nail in their legal coffin. Considering that I'm 98% sure that at least 2 posters, in this string alone, are MacQuarrie, Simone, and/or other of the bashers, they know that we're still on to them. If you're not sure who I'm talking about, read every post in this string and you'll be able to easily single them out. Then, compare that to the posts left in other strings by these 2 posters... then the only question you'll have is which of the 3 options, from the previous sentence, is what I've shown. My vote is that they both belong to MacQuarrie as his habitual

Am I paranoid? No. Am I extremely observant? Am I experienced in knowing the M.O. of my enemies? Yes and yes. I practice the "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" creedo. May I ask where you post when you're not posting here? I'll bet we know the answer to that... don't we?

Since when did I vanish for 2 years, let alone at all? The same "unfinished" BombShell comic book has been up during all this time? Get your facts and your eyesight straight as the date of that online publication is clearly written in that online BombShell Ashcan, which you haven't even seen, considering that you're not an LBC Online Member, where that issue is located. While you're at it, try changing the misinformation you post from the bash forums to here.

One last piece of information to properly instruct the bashers as well as those who do not realize that they are conversing with those we cannot stand. Judging by spelling, grammar, sentence structure, and especially the stupidity of bashers that don't bother using a different handle than what they've used in the history between me and the bash forums, I know who is who, here. Wouldn't you agree, Bowser?

One of these days, Fate willing, maybe these bashers will grow at least one brain cell to attain the knowledge in order to know that not only can this dog play the same tricks, seemingly going along with the game at hand, but this dog has a much more dangerous bite.

Keep it in mind, those of you who think you're fooling me.
J-

BWA-hahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

oh god this is going to be good.

[Typo Lad]

Please Don't Bite Me Mr. Dog With A Mullet! I Fear You!

[Crowley]

i do love that he's concerned with the identity of this woman:
http://www.mulletwigs.net/images/products/bingo.jpg
http://www.mulletwigs.net/edcdetail.asp?product_id=bingo

Mullet wig model EXTRAORDINAIRE!

[PatrickG]

Wow. The "friends close... enemies closer" line along with the "family" references really make me all the more convinced he's been watching the Godfather non-stop since his departure from IMDB.

Or maybe he's aiming to be the new Pope...

[abbas.khan]

when will this forum ever end?

[Michael P]

This just doesn't stop being funny. Superecwfan1...
A few things...
First off, no, I don't think that our forumla to build up a fanbase will work. I know that the plan is working because we've had Members since the first day of the site's inception. Until we have an ongoing series in the site, Members only pay the one-time fee, which will not increase in price nor frequency of payment until we have that ongoing series.
This formula that we created earned us the title of "the future of comics" by the President of Charles Atlas, Ltd., whom you know has been involved with comics even before a cape was drawn on a page. He makes this statement whenever the press asks him what comics he advertises in now, which not only is LBC one of three companies that they will only advertise in (Marvel and Image being the other 2), but has only granted LBC the licensing rights to create a Charles Atlas comic book and merchandise, when we're ready to do so.
This was accomplished because we were the first company to publish our real comics online, before hard-copy print, as opposed to the other companies that did offer online comics that were special online comics only but did not publish their actual issues online. We paved the road for the ones who decided to follow in our path.
If we were as meaningless as you make us sound, we could not accomplish this.
Though it is true that very few comics achieve a printing quantity of 100,000 or over, it is not only possible, but probable, in consideration of the fact that we've received pre-orders over that amount for WLS#0 and BombShell #1 alone, with the majority of those whom have placed their orders doing so for more than one copy... and that's just counting individual consumers. The retailers' orders, that have come in, reflect that those issues, by themselves, will end up going into reprint due to supply and demand, but limited for collectible values.
The movies are not launching the comics. It is the other way around. The only difference is that the BombShell comic is being timed, for release, to match the movie so that they equally meet in story, with the end of the movie and the issue number that will come out at the same time. This will hold true with all the movies that we do, matching up at the end of the film with the issue number being released to match the story, because I, as a comic book and movie fan, was interested in seeing how the old familiar stories were brought to life, but was bored with the fact that I already knew the ending. Using this method, not only will the ending of the movie be surprising to the audience, but so will the comic. In turn, they'll both end up promoting each other, as opposed to creating a seperate comic book adaption of a movie. This will also end up promoting the merchandise because that will not be geared just for the movie or the comic book, but rather both of them. Movie fans will become enthralled to become comic book and merchandise fans while comic book fans will become enthralled by the movies and merchandise. Therefore, consumers will not buy more of a movie version of the characters, and vise-versa, but the only difference in the sales of merchandise will be reflected by which movie is out at that time, especially in consideration that the characters in the movie will look like the comics, which is what made the character popular to begin with (so why change a successful formula).
The only different merchandise which would be added to a film's enterage is the novelization of the original screenplay, for those who want a sneak peek into the ending and/or don't want to wait for or read the comics, being too anxious for the film's release.
On the same note, characters/stories won't be changed in the movie, any resulting animations, or the comics because they'll all be based on the same formula... the one that first made them popular.
As for your dislike of Draco's costume and storyline, obviously you did not read everything. The story pokes fun at the old cliche' of the backwards record playing. And Manes did not send Draco to Earth to fight against him. He bonded his son with that of a mortal for what he considered as being punishment for Draco's rebellion against his heritage. Every parent has had one or more instances where they punished their child, but the child ended up enjoying and flourishing in the punishment. Draco's brightening of his costume and emblazoning the "D" on his chest plate was his way of rebelling against his father's ways even moreso, by becoming the personification of what his father hated the most... a hero.
I'll conclude my response by asking when, if at all, was Stan Lee, or Todd McFarlane inducted into the Marquis Who's Who In America for their accomplishments involved with the entertainment industry? I was inducted in the 2005 edition for what I've achieved already, and have been requested to send them the new information (which I have) to be inducted again into the 2006 edition for my further accomplishments that include an innovative new mechanism that I designed to help actors/actresses be more comfortable in inclimate conditions, but turned out to have more practical uses for those who work in similar or worse atmospheric areas, such as space travel, arctic research, desert land exploration, etc., yet is barely noticable, even when wearing something as tight as spandex. It was an invention I created while I was working on the Marinna costume design.
I apologize if all this sounds immodest, but it was necessary in order to give you an idea that I know what I'm doing and saying.
I do not take your comments as an attack, and I hope that you do not take mine as being defensive. You are understandably under-informed of why I'm doing as I am, so my only recourse was to fill in some blanks that you might not have been aware of.
Thank you for keeping on your toes.

[Dreadstar]

when will this forum ever end?

When people decide that beating up on the cripple isn't either a) nearly as fun as it used to be, or b) just a "bad" thing to do.

Until then, the caged monkey gets poked.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Lets see:

Insults me calling me a Viper and claims his vast knowlodge exceedes mine. Claims I'm thinking with my little head. Hmm typical response.


Maybe Its me but doesn't he always have those " sexual " Insults for some wierd reason ?

[TCJohnson]

Claims I'm thinking with my little head.


well, he got one out of three.

What? What? You are a guy, aren't you! ;)

[SUPERECWFAN1]

well, he got one out of three.

What? What? You are a guy, aren't you! ;)



Yeah he got me there. I think with It 80% of the time. The rest Is with my brain . :D ;)

[Gail Simone]

Would someone post this quote for me? I'm banned.

:)

Gail

[Guapo Méndez]

When people decide that beating up on the cripple isn't either a) nearly as fun as it used to be, or b) just a "bad" thing to do.

Until then, the caged monkey gets poked.

I agree, man.

We all know that he has not one true fan. The posters there are fabrications.
I have a very strong clue as to who created that site. Enough is enough, guys. Instead of dropping vat after vat of gasoline on that not-too-bright bonefire, let it flame out. He's got no forum now, no IMDB site and no company except his left-right hands. We're sure as hell he won't get anything off the ground, and just by poking him, he keeps fixing his attentions on Gail or MacQ.

We don't know how much sanity is left on him, and despite everything he appears to be, real life complications could be made real. I'm safe across an entire country, but there are two very prominent targets on his deranged mind and I would feel extremely bad if he even made an attempt to do anything against them.

This stopped being funny two forums ago. Right now is seven shades of creepy.

My last post to J-Bolt was when JimmyDugan was banned (yep, that was me). I'd encourage you to do the same.
No more posts.
No more forums "honoring him".
No more encouragement.
If, and this is a big if, he even manages to produce anything, well whoop-de-doo. If he fizzles out and we never hear from him again, whoop-dee-doo again.

It's time to put the J-Bolt affair to rest.

[YoGo]

Where does this pertain to my opinion of Gail Simone? I do not read her work, so I cannot comment on her talent, though she does post misspellings, yet has the unmithigated gaul to correct others.

I owe so much of the laughter in my life right now to J-bolt.

[Dreadstar]

This stopped being funny two forums ago. Right now is seven shades of creepy.

Dingdingdingding! Have a cigar!

My last post to J-Bolt was when JimmyDugan was banned (yep, that was me). I'd encourage you to do the same.
No more posts.
No more forums "honoring him".
No more encouragement.
If, and this is a big if, he even manages to produce anything, well whoop-de-doo. If he fizzles out and we never hear from him again, whoop-dee-doo again.

It's time to put the J-Bolt affair to rest.

dingdingdingding! Have *two* cigars!

[Crowley]

oh, jesus.

the guy hasn't stopped he continues on with his delusional ramblings and even if we all collectively decided that we were never going to make mention of him again... he would still eventually pop up and ramble on about fakes products and likely sucker people into thinking it was real.

If you don't like the joke or find it in bad taste then kindly move on to another thread.

and I say that with all due respect to both of you gentlemen.

[Matt Algren]

...I've even had a case where a female lodged a complaint against a male employee because he was making jokes with other employees (who were enjoying the jokes, joining along) during their lunch hour, and she walked past the group, eavesdropping on their personal-time fun, and called him out of the group, loudly complaining about his jokes. When he stood up and touched her forearm, attempting to apologize for her being offended by invading in their private conversation, she started screaming "sexual harassment," embarrassing the accused man along with the others, who were embarrassed for him...
Something tells me that the "male employee" is named Jim Fisher. This is just too detailed to have been pulled out of J's imagination.

[Crowley]

and something tells me the "LBC cafeteria" was really the K-Mart K-cafe'

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Something tells me as well with his venom towards punishing the " female " in this tale something bad happened. I'm thinking she slapped him and bruised his ego .

[MacQuarrie]

MacQuarrie makes up a story about not receiving posters that he ordered, which I erringly allowed his order to go through even though better judgement, on my part, warned me that it was another of his schemes (and I was proven right by his claim of not receiving them in order to further the bashing against me) and, after back & forth banter with him going so far as to involve an attorney, whom I graciously informed the absurdity of such frivilousness and he backed away, I achieved my own legal counsel to finally make him pay for all of his indescretions.
That's a very nice story. It bears no resemblance to anything like the truth, but it's a nice story.

Truth is, I told my attorney not to bother wasting any more time on the loser after he had his last meltdown. He was entirely willing to take it all the way into the courtroom if I wanted to. And it's not too late.

[the4thpip]

oh, jesus.

the guy hasn't stopped he continues on with his delusional ramblings and even if we all collectively decided that we were never going to make mention of him again... he would still eventually pop up and ramble on about fakes products and likely sucker people into thinking it was real.

If you don't like the joke or find it in bad taste then kindly move on to another thread.

and I say that with all due respect to both of you gentlemen.
dingdingdingding

;)

[Dreadstar]

If you don't like the joke or find it in bad taste then kindly move on to another thread.

Soooo... we're not allowed to voice our own opinions about it?

mmmmkay, moving along then.

[the4thpip]

Something tells me that the "male employee" is named Jim Fisher. This is just too detailed to have been pulled out of J's imagination.
It sounds vaguely familiar. I think it's an old news item or chain email he adopted as his own story.

[the4thpip]

Soooo... we're not allowed to voice our own opinions about it?

mmmmkay, moving along then.
Telling other people what they should or should not do is a little stronger than just opinion, don't you think?

[Dreadstar]

Telling other people what they should or should not do is a little stronger than just opinion, don't you think?

I don't know... does "encourage" = "telling?"

Fair question.

[Gail Simone]

Emperor, Dread has every right to say what he thinks here, and I'd appreciate you not telling people to move along.

I know this isn't everyone's type of message board. But we don't tell people, especially Dreadstar-type people, to take off when we disagree with them.

Gail

[Dreadstar]

It's OK, gail. He's kinda right in one sense. I'm chiding the thread participants and I really shouldn't.

So, if I don't feel like making fun of J-Bolt, and all I'm doing is haranguing the participants, I'm really serving no purpose here. So I will mosey along, I said my piece.

But thanks.

[Crowley]

I apologize if I overstepped, I mean no disrespect towards Dreadstar or Guapo.

also... I didn't certainly didn't mean to say that they didn't have a right to voice their opinions on the situation, because they definitely do.

sorry all... been a bit cranky this week.

[TCJohnson]

Something tells me that the "male employee" is named Jim Fisher. This is just too detailed to have been pulled out of J's imagination.

IT WAS AN EPISODE OF THE FAMILY GUY!!!!!

[Typo Lad]

I apologize if I overstepped, I mean no disrespect towards Dreadstar or Guapo.

Best not, because I know for a fact that they could take you down.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

On the J-Bolted forum I posted a piece Inviting posters to come by CBR and talk about comics , movies and the like. Of course this was an Invitation and being sincere by me. I always like posting at sites and advertising them.

J-Bolt took this as me destroying the J-Bolted site and that I will cause them to lose untold amounts of money ..ect ect.... You have to read It to believe It.


:eek:

[matterconsumer]

And in a situation that involves one person's word against another, I'll give them both the opportunity to submit to a lie-detector examination for incongruities and circumstance.

If I ever stop laughing, I'll sue J-Bolt for intenstinal damages!

Assuming that I'm able to overcome the power of his gag order:)

Will someone like Barbara Walters finally step up and give this guy an interview?

[Gail Simone]

I apologize if I overstepped, I mean no disrespect towards Dreadstar or Guapo.

also... I didn't certainly didn't mean to say that they didn't have a right to voice their opinions on the situation, because they definitely do.

sorry all... been a bit cranky this week.


Fair enough on both points.

However, I will say this. J-Bolt is like crack. All of us have said we'd quit reading about him, and then we come back, because he's LIKE CRACK!

Gail

[Crowley]

exactly!

*smokes When Lightning Strikes ashcan #0*

good lord you can taste the Wollf...

[MacQuarrie]

I'm dead serious here:

Today at lunch I was at a little mexican restaurant and the TV was tuned to "People's Court," and I am now seriously considering filing a suit against J-Bolt just so I can get him on the show.

Should I do it?

[Kyuubi]

I'm dead serious here:

Today at lunch I was at a little mexican restaurant and the TV was tuned to "People's Court," and I am now seriously considering filing a suit against J-Bolt just so I can get him on the show.

Should I do it?


Of course not, don't be crazy.


Go on Judge Judy.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Of course not, don't be crazy.


Go on Judge Judy.


Yes go on Judge Judy. Odds are she'll enjoy the madness that Is J-Bolt. Imagine him showing all his rambling online. It woulkd be a huge funny thing to see personally.

[Crowley]

oh god I can see that now:

"Sir! Take off your glasses... yourinacourtroom!"

"It's my mask!"

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY!"

later...

"so then I sent him the posters and--"


"BALONEY!"


"uhuhuh..."

"listen to me sir... on your best day you're not half as smart as me!"

[OzBat!]

"Well... if it is any indication, everyone in the LBE family of companies are family."Does anybody else beside me hear "I'm my own Grandpaw!" playing in the background?

[Kyuubi]

I'm still trying to figure out why Gail is singing exclusive contracts instead of signing them.

[sk716]

Would someone post this quote for me? I'm banned.

:)

Gail


Which one there are so freakin' many? He was busy today.

Mods...
I know that this forum is yours, and governed by your rules, but if I may be so bold, I'd like to point out something very worthwhile, here.
Not only is this person a basher (my educated guess is that it is another of MacQuarrie's alias's, since he's always been known to act under several guises in one forum), but this post clearly is intended to take members of your forum away from you and guide them over to join the bash forums. Now, temporarily forgetting the subject of this forum, do you guys honestly pay money for this site and forum to be hosted, spend valuable time designing it... only to allow people like this to take your audiences away from you???
This individual's post leads me to one of two possible conclusions: 1) Either you have a great deal of time and money to waste by allowing destructive posts such as this, or 2) it is being run and patronized by bash forum members, simply because they get off doing this sort of thing, no matter the costs. Which of those 2 options is the answer, Folks?
I've been quietly observing this for quite some time, saving these posts, and analyzing each and every, single entry, not out of paranoia, but rather out of experienced guard. Red flags just keep popping up everywhere I read: purposely bad spelling/grammar, undue and avalanching compliments of my appearance, the posting times consisting of one-after-another posts (as if each person making a post is taking consecutive turns with their handles), the easily identifyable bashers being exposed one after another, those exposed bashers coming back to post under a "Guest" handle then coming back to post again under the previous bashing handle, posts with character pictures that were attained from the same exact source as known bashers, on and on. All of these red flags have been endlessly done by members of the bash forums. The biggest red flags are the obvious bashes and vulgarities that are not being immediately taken off the board, nor is anyone complaining about them, unless the offenses are so painfully obvious that a 2-year old would know it... then, people become leary and warn the offender against their remarks, but don't follow up on the warning when that offender does the same thing in their next post.
I mean... C'mon! How stupid do bashers think I am??? I'm sure that all of them that are involved have an answer for that rhetorical question, but should be looking at themselves, and asking that question, for making their presense so obvious that it's not even funny!
This whole time, I've been laughing and playing along with the game to see where it leads, and if the bashers will ever learn their lesson, being that if you're going to play out a rouse, at least change your stradegy with each effort, as opposed to using the same methods over and over again! I've seen so little of originality (albeit there were some decent efforts, such as MacQuarrie's giving up speech, though it was done after he was supposedly banned and his post was never removed; likewise with the others that were exposed as being him).
Look Guy(s) and Girl(s)... I was bored throughout the night and couldn't sleep, after coming home with jetlag, so I decided to answer some of these posts for the entertainment value. I ended up having so much fun with it, that I decided to get them all done, with this one being the last unanswered post string, since my last visit to this site. Given enough time and leeway, an animal can no longer play possum, exposing him and herself to their prey. Well guess what... you've exposed your underbelly, but I've lost interest in the final blow. The charade is no longer a challenge to me, anymore. The obviousness of the game lost it's entertainment value and became stupid.
My time is obviously a lot more valuable than yours, otherwise you'd be spending your time with much more meaningful endeavors than this. So, it's time to either fish or cut bait. Just in case you don't follow what I'm saying; either end this war or leave me alone and live your own lives. Either way, I refuse to play your game any longer.
If I'm wrong about any "individual" on this forum, and there really is a, or are, fan(s) on this site, you'll understand that I have no choice but to discontinue being here for the simple reason that if I just ignore the obvious bashers, they attack me, calling me a fraud, liar, etc., but if I respond to them, I get the same, exact assault. I've tried to be nice, I've been truthful with everything I've said with exception of believing the lines of bull that I've been getting... yet, they keep coming back. It is a non-stop, destructive circle that I will not allow to destroy my time best spent on more productive activities.
The bashers call me immature, yet they keep playing the same game.
Game Over Exclamation

This one is my new favorite.

[sk716]

Of course, the Admin response was pretty interesting, too.

I'm sorry you feel that way J-Bolt.

I just don't feel the need to delete and/or address every derogatry statement against you.

ANd running by the same standard you employ in your above post you yourself should have been banned from here a long time ago.
A point that false "Smart Attorney" person brought up.

Mony of the posts you refer to as being attacks are nothing mare than honest questions. I do not feel the need to ban anyone for asking a question. When someone becaomes a nuisance I do ban them. As evdenced on numerous occasions. I do not delete the post because I do not want to be accused of hiding anything. I am not threatened by 'the bashers'

Many of your own posts today have gone well beyond the limits of what is acceptable. If you do choose to return here, please check the nastiness. I don't feel the need to tolerate it even if I am a fan of your work.

And why would I be worried about throwing money away by having fans dragged away by 'the bashers'. If they can be dragged away by the bashers then they obviously weren't really fans in the forst place. Second this site costs $20.00 a year for an excellent package. I referred you to them once already as an option for moving the LBC site.

[Guapo Méndez]

I apologize if I overstepped, I mean no disrespect towards Dreadstar or Guapo.

also... I didn't certainly didn't mean to say that they didn't have a right to voice their opinions on the situation, because they definitely do.

sorry all... been a bit cranky this week.

None taken.
Listen, I could pummel J-Bolt all day. Make it a point to have him suffer the torment of a thousand thorns in places where the sun don't shine. Believe me I have both the time, the dedication and the mean streak.

But...

He's got not one, but two very defined targets in his mind: Gail and MacQ. Anything anyone ever says to him, he'll both think is a put down and that it was made by Gail and/or MacQ.

Nothing will ever convince him that there are lots of people who enjoy pullingh his very pullable leg. He will always, always, think it is Gail and MacQ.

If, by any chance, J-Bolt decided to take action against them, I would feel very, very, very guilty for goading him into that.

I don't like to have other people pay for my actions.

Does that sound reasonable enough?

[MacQuarrie]

If, by any chance, J-Bolt decided to take action against them, I would feel very, very, very guilty for goading him into that.

I don't like to have other people pay for my actions.

Does that sound reasonable enough?
I appreciate that, Guapo, but don't worry; I'm a big boy and can handle myself. I've got four brothers that I cna deal with, and they are a lot smarter and sneakier than J-Bolt on his best day. Besides, I'm armed.

[matterconsumer]

Bolt vs bolt!

[Cream Filled Taco]

Go on Judge Judy.


No way! Judge Judy doesn't have the patience for J-Bolt. We wouldn't get to see the whole case. She'd throw him out immediately. People's Court all the way!

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Which one there are so freakin' many? He was busy today.



This one is my new favorite.

Originally Posted by J-Bolt
Mods...
I know that this forum is yours, and governed by your rules, but if I may be so bold, I'd like to point out something very worthwhile, here.
Not only is this person a basher (my educated guess is that it is another of MacQuarrie's alias's, since he's always been known to act under several guises in one forum), but this post clearly is intended to take members of your forum away from you and guide them over to join the bash forums. Now, temporarily forgetting the subject of this forum, do you guys honestly pay money for this site and forum to be hosted, spend valuable time designing it... only to allow people like this to take your audiences away from you???
This individual's post leads me to one of two possible conclusions: 1) Either you have a great deal of time and money to waste by allowing destructive posts such as this, or 2) it is being run and patronized by bash forum members, simply because they get off doing this sort of thing, no matter the costs. Which of those 2 options is the answer, Folks?
I've been quietly observing this for quite some time, saving these posts, and analyzing each and every, single entry, not out of paranoia, but rather out of experienced guard. Red flags just keep popping up everywhere I read: purposely bad spelling/grammar, undue and avalanching compliments of my appearance, the posting times consisting of one-after-another posts (as if each person making a post is taking consecutive turns with their handles), the easily identifyable bashers being exposed one after another, those exposed bashers coming back to post under a "Guest" handle then coming back to post again under the previous bashing handle, posts with character pictures that were attained from the same exact source as known bashers, on and on. All of these red flags have been endlessly done by members of the bash forums. The biggest red flags are the obvious bashes and vulgarities that are not being immediately taken off the board, nor is anyone complaining about them, unless the offenses are so painfully obvious that a 2-year old would know it... then, people become leary and warn the offender against their remarks, but don't follow up on the warning when that offender does the same thing in their next post.
I mean... C'mon! How stupid do bashers think I am??? I'm sure that all of them that are involved have an answer for that rhetorical question, but should be looking at themselves, and asking that question, for making their presense so obvious that it's not even funny!
This whole time, I've been laughing and playing along with the game to see where it leads, and if the bashers will ever learn their lesson, being that if you're going to play out a rouse, at least change your stradegy with each effort, as opposed to using the same methods over and over again! I've seen so little of originality (albeit there were some decent efforts, such as MacQuarrie's giving up speech, though it was done after he was supposedly banned and his post was never removed; likewise with the others that were exposed as being him).
Look Guy(s) and Girl(s)... I was bored throughout the night and couldn't sleep, after coming home with jetlag, so I decided to answer some of these posts for the entertainment value. I ended up having so much fun with it, that I decided to get them all done, with this one being the last unanswered post string, since my last visit to this site. Given enough time and leeway, an animal can no longer play possum, exposing him and herself to their prey. Well guess what... you've exposed your underbelly, but I've lost interest in the final blow. The charade is no longer a challenge to me, anymore. The obviousness of the game lost it's entertainment value and became stupid.
My time is obviously a lot more valuable than yours, otherwise you'd be spending your time with much more meaningful endeavors than this. So, it's time to either fish or cut bait. Just in case you don't follow what I'm saying; either end this war or leave me alone and live your own lives. Either way, I refuse to play your game any longer.
If I'm wrong about any "individual" on this forum, and there really is a, or are, fan(s) on this site, you'll understand that I have no choice but to discontinue being here for the simple reason that if I just ignore the obvious bashers, they attack me, calling me a fraud, liar, etc., but if I respond to them, I get the same, exact assault. I've tried to be nice, I've been truthful with everything I've said with exception of believing the lines of bull that I've been getting... yet, they keep coming back. It is a non-stop, destructive circle that I will not allow to destroy my time best spent on more productive activities.
The bashers call me immature, yet they keep playing the same game.
Game Over Exclamation




Yeah this was to me. Notice he thinks I'm Macquarrie . Ok unless Mac Is a closet ECW Fan then I doubt It. This Is the 2nd time he's asked me to be banned and I'm not even a member of the damn site!

Its tearing him up. I'm not Insulting him. He can't use that to get me booted. I'm just mocking him and Its really getting to him. I've now threatened to join the site and continue our fun game all over.

But I'm afraid he'll go Insane at this point and I really fear for the guy. I'll just stay as I am and watch him keep asking for me to be booted for nothing . :D

[Papergirl]

I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing now. I should be in bed and asleep right now. Instead, I am... Wait... Is this forum bugged by the j-dolt gestapo??

I better not say any more, lest my cover be blown...

*polishes & straightens halo and attempts to look perfectly innocent*

:D

~Bev

[Crowley]

oh.... my .... god

Uuuhhhhhhhhhh... yes, I'm single...<blush>
These compliments have dumb-founded me. All I can say is thank you, humbly. Your compliments have truly made my face blushing as red as the rim of my mask.
Truth to tell, as far as I've been told, I've been legally single since the end of last year. I say "as far as I've been told" because I still haven't received the final divorce decree.
It was said that a person wants to be a comic book artist in order to get the attention of the ladies. What's funny about that is that the lead singer of the group "Berlin" and I were celebrity guests on a Las Vegas morning radio show a few years back and we were talking about groupies. While Terri was telling her stories of how people throw their underwear, room keys, etc. on stage for them, I was getting even more laughs because I was telling that not only do comic book publishers/artists NOT get that kind of appreciation, but we try to throw OUR underwear into the crowds only to get them thrown back at us with "Return To Sender" stickers on them.
After this, I had the cameo role in "Rat Race" then Lightning Bolt Productions was established and now I get rather risque' photos e-mailed to me, quite mature packages (with matching letters) mailed to me, etc... and I STILL don't know how to respond to it! I don't know whether to send a thank you card or sign a pair of underwear to send back to them. LOL
If you watch my cameo scenes in "Rat Race," you can actually get a blurred look at my face without the mask on, especially in the scene where Andy is chasing down Brecklin in the casino. That scene has me in focus the most as it begins on Breck, with me, from head to toes, on the right talking with some of the extras, including the redhead they had play my spouse on that day's shooting. In all my scenes, you can't miss the tall, long-haired guy with the mask hanging off the front of my shirt acting as "the Lost Tourist."
If it weren't for my height, you would have gotten a perfect view of my face, without the mask on. The reason for that is because, during the first day of shooting, the director originally had the redhead and me come up to the checkout desk, of the Venetian, where the camera was fixed on us hurrying the woman behind the counter because we were running late to check in and see the David Copperfield show. The camera stayed on us for a few beats, for the opening shot, before panning to Breck. The director attempted about 10 takes of this, trying to find a way to make the shot work but, they couldn't get past the fact that each time, they still had to not only pan the camera to Breck, but they also had to lower the camera's height because of Breck's and my size difference. Finally, the director told me that the only way to complately fit me in the shot was to put me behind the lines of people, where they changed my role of the "Late Tourist" to the "Lost Tourist," whereas the redhead and I dragged each other back and forth insisting that our destination was at opposite locations of the checkout area, until we decided to go into the checkout line (behind Breck) to ask directions. When the establishing shot happens, after the beginning credits, the camera did so by following the girl and I into the checkout area, after the beginning credits, until we passed Breck.
To get an idea of Breck's and my height difference, look behind Breck's head (while he's finishing the arguement with the checkout girl about the movies he watched in his room), at the last part of that scene, when the girl and I get into the line, and you'll see that my shoulders reached Breck's forehead... and I was slouching.
Meanwhile, the closest you'll be able to see me without the mask is my role in BombShell, as Jen Layton's ill-fated boyfriend. But don't get your hopes too high that you'll see me unmasked, because besides having my hair in a tail, I'll be wearing tinted glasses which are difficult to completely make out my eyes. You'll probably still have trouble depicting me from a crowd.
Thanks again for being great fans and friends.
J-

[Typo Lad]

Why do I think that that response had something to do with THIS?

I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing now. I should be in bed and asleep right now. Instead, I am... Wait... Is this forum bugged by the j-dolt gestapo??

I better not say any more, lest my cover be blown...

*polishes & straightens halo and attempts to look perfectly innocent*

:D

~Bev

[Crowley]

he's a vile cretin:
Sorry that I've had to have everyone worried...
But, yes, my time availability has become more thin, especially with the out-of-town business I've been attending to. Whenever possible, I always come back to address the posts that accumulate during my absense.
Just know that I am working hard to get the entertainment media ready for you to enjoy and continue talking about.
As for MacQuarrie and Simone, I seriously wouldn't put such an effort to doubt, in consideration of all their methods to unsuccessfully halt my company's projects. But, don't worry... I'm bigger than they are, in more ways than one. After all, Simone has more male genetalia than MacQuarrie, judging from both of their attempts and cowering, as criminology has determined from the actions of their kind.
People like them are the reason I wear the mask, do not allow public knowledge of my birth name, and protect the privacy of my family and myself. Otherwise, I'd never have a moment's peace from their onslaught. I'd be spending more time fighting them as opposed to working on my company's projects.
Thanks for your concern, Everyone.
J-

[Typo Lad]

So wait...

He wears a mask because people are out to get him?

I should send him a tinfoil hat.

[Gail Simone]

Like you couldn't recognize the world's stupidest haircut without the 'mask.'

Whatta doof.

Gail

[Typo Lad]

Like you couldn't recognize the world's stupidest haircut without the 'mask.'



Gail, I'm SHOCKED.

Next thing you know, you'll say that a pair of glasses and slicking one's hair back isn't enough to hide your identity!

[Karl J. Barnes]

So wait...

He wears a mask because people are out to get him?

I should send him a tinfoil hat.

And some candy...he needs some sweet goodness.

[Crowley]

Wolff...
My views of firemen became tainted when, last Summer, I was visiting a friend across the street from a house that caught fire, which sidelined as an elderly care facility Every male neighbor on that block and I had water hoses running on that house, while every female and/or child on that block was calling 911. We were trying to put out the blaze while also trying to get in to save 2 elderly people trapped inside, one of which was no more than 10 feet away from us, in a front bedroom, screaming for help. Due to all the oxygen tanks that were in the house, for the purpose of the elderly residents, the fire immediately became so hot that the sheer heat singed our hair and skin no matter how much we doused each other with the hoses, trying to climb in and rescue the 2 people that were trapped. We didn't have the gear, oxygen tanks and protective wear to get in.
Meanwhile, the elderly woman that was in front continued screaming for help, not even being able to see flashlight beams or sunlight from the window, through the black smoke. And we couldn't see her, either. The sound of her voice was the only gauge we had to her whereabouts in the room, but it wasn't enough for us to get an idea of where to throw ropes and hoses in an attempt to pull her to us.
Throughout our attempts, everyone with a phone was screaming at the 911 operators, trying to hurry their aid. Eventually, the woman stopped screaming, but we were still trying to find a way to get to her, not yet knowing that the 2nd person, an elderly man, was in the back of the house, and a caretaker who escaped during the beginning of the blaze was in too much of a shock to tell us... not that we would have been able to get to him either, no matter how much we tried.
Twelve minutes had passed before fire crews finally arrived. Their lacidasical attitudes, regardless of us screaming at them about someone being in the middle of the fire, made you think they were attending a social bar-b-que. With every renewing blaze that would occur throughout the house, we had to scream at the top of our lungs before they non-chalantly walked over and pointed one of their hoses at it.
Another ten or more minutes passed before they finally brought the elderly woman's blackened body out of the smouldering house, attempting to revive her. She died before the ambulance got to the end of the block.
The elderly man? Ferensics had to be called in just to identify that his remains were even male.
Fire investigators and news crews arrived, interviewing all of us, that were doing what was right. And we told every one of them all the details involved in the tragedy. Later that night, the news stations reported that fire crews arrived within 4 minutes of the blaze and was quick to put out the flames but failed to save the lives of the 2 elderly residents trapped inside, as they died almost instantly after the fire erupted.
They all lied to cover their the fire departments' cost of lives.
We all called the news organizations to correct the information. I even tried using my public status to get the truth known. We were all told that the stations would call us back to arrange an interview... and found out that it was just a feign to get us off the phone. Every, single news organization helped cover the lie, which resulted in the fatalities of some people's Grandparents, Parents, Uncle/Aunt, etc. Their deceit: their corruption multiplied the tragedy behind the deaths of 2 people whose family will be mourning their violent ends until the day that they die.
Why are Firemen corrupt? Because there was a fire station one block away from the burning house... but they weren't "zoned" to answer this call. No. The fire house that eventually got around to answering the call was halfway across town.
I guess none of them have to deal with the memory of the elderly lady screaming for help, with nobody able to get to her... but, those of us who couldn't rescue her, and wanted to, will never forget that cry. It's been seared into our memories until the day we die.

As for Mahatma Ghandi and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., I'm not versed enough in Ghandi's history whether or not to personally judge him as a humanitarian. But, I stand corrected concerning Dr. King, who was one of the greatest men of any age... and I'm sure he's rolling over in his grave to see how his words have been perverted by the human race, causing a whole different form of segregation that he fought so hard, and gave his life, to abolish.

Why am I so jaded about the existance of humanitarians? Because I just don't see it existing long enough in society, today, before it is halted from the ideals of people who once wanted to make a difference solely for the benefit of their fellow being. Instead, 99.9 percent of people do it for glory, fame, reward... for material gratification, instead of the gratification gathered within oneself by just, plain helping each other.

Sorry if I sounded like I was on a soapbox, but somebody needed to be.
J-

... :eek: ... words fail.

[Matt Algren]

I'm dead serious here:

Today at lunch I was at a little mexican restaurant and the TV was tuned to "People's Court," and I am now seriously considering filing a suit against J-Bolt just so I can get him on the show.

Should I do it?
They're right: Judge Judy's better. But unless she decides to toy with him like a ball of yarn (She's been known to do that, and very well), she'll kick you out for bringing a $20 case.

Unless, of course, there's more to be sued for. I wonder if she'd hear punitive slander or libel charges...

EDIT: Also, Judge Judy films in LA, while People's Court is in New York City.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

... :eek: ... words fail.

Wolff...
My views of firemen became tainted when, last Summer, I was visiting a friend across the street from a house that caught fire, which sidelined as an elderly care facility Every male neighbor on that block and I had water hoses running on that house, while every female and/or child on that block was calling 911. We were trying to put out the blaze while also trying to get in to save 2 elderly people trapped inside, one of which was no more than 10 feet away from us, in a front bedroom, screaming for help. Due to all the oxygen tanks that were in the house, for the purpose of the elderly residents, the fire immediately became so hot that the sheer heat singed our hair and skin no matter how much we doused each other with the hoses, trying to climb in and rescue the 2 people that were trapped. We didn't have the gear, oxygen tanks and protective wear to get in.
Meanwhile, the elderly woman that was in front continued screaming for help, not even being able to see flashlight beams or sunlight from the window, through the black smoke. And we couldn't see her, either. The sound of her voice was the only gauge we had to her whereabouts in the room, but it wasn't enough for us to get an idea of where to throw ropes and hoses in an attempt to pull her to us.
Throughout our attempts, everyone with a phone was screaming at the 911 operators, trying to hurry their aid. Eventually, the woman stopped screaming, but we were still trying to find a way to get to her, not yet knowing that the 2nd person, an elderly man, was in the back of the house, and a caretaker who escaped during the beginning of the blaze was in too much of a shock to tell us... not that we would have been able to get to him either, no matter how much we tried.
Twelve minutes had passed before fire crews finally arrived. Their lacidasical attitudes, regardless of us screaming at them about someone being in the middle of the fire, made you think they were attending a social bar-b-que. With every renewing blaze that would occur throughout the house, we had to scream at the top of our lungs before they non-chalantly walked over and pointed one of their hoses at it.
Another ten or more minutes passed before they finally brought the elderly woman's blackened body out of the smouldering house, attempting to revive her. She died before the ambulance got to the end of the block.
The elderly man? Ferensics had to be called in just to identify that his remains were even male.
Fire investigators and news crews arrived, interviewing all of us, that were doing what was right. And we told every one of them all the details involved in the tragedy. Later that night, the news stations reported that fire crews arrived within 4 minutes of the blaze and was quick to put out the flames but failed to save the lives of the 2 elderly residents trapped inside, as they died almost instantly after the fire erupted.
They all lied to cover their the fire departments' cost of lives.
We all called the news organizations to correct the information. I even tried using my public status to get the truth known. We were all told that the stations would call us back to arrange an interview... and found out that it was just a feign to get us off the phone. Every, single news organization helped cover the lie, which resulted in the fatalities of some people's Grandparents, Parents, Uncle/Aunt, etc. Their deceit: their corruption multiplied the tragedy behind the deaths of 2 people whose family will be mourning their violent ends until the day that they die.
Why are Firemen corrupt? Because there was a fire station one block away from the burning house... but they weren't "zoned" to answer this call. No. The fire house that eventually got around to answering the call was halfway across town.
I guess none of them have to deal with the memory of the elderly lady screaming for help, with nobody able to get to her... but, those of us who couldn't rescue her, and wanted to, will never forget that cry. It's been seared into our memories until the day we die.

As for Mahatma Ghandi and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., I'm not versed enough in Ghandi's history whether or not to personally judge him as a humanitarian. But, I stand corrected concerning Dr. King, who was one of the greatest men of any age... and I'm sure he's rolling over in his grave to see how his words have been perverted by the human race, causing a whole different form of segregation that he fought so hard, and gave his life, to abolish.

Why am I so jaded about the existance of humanitarians? Because I just don't see it existing long enough in society, today, before it is halted from the ideals of people who once wanted to make a difference solely for the benefit of their fellow being. Instead, 99.9 percent of people do it for glory, fame, reward... for material gratification, instead of the gratification gathered within oneself by just, plain helping each other.

Sorry if I sounded like I was on a soapbox, but somebody needed to be.
J-


" I even tried to useing my public status to get the Truth known . "

This Is one of the best lies I've seen . Uncaring Firemen now. I suppose that 9/11 tribute he had was just a crock of shit to fill his pockets .

[goldenbrowngod]

Gail, I'm SHOCKED.

Next thing you know, you'll say that a pair of glasses and slicking one's hair back isn't enough to hide your identity!

Hey, it works for Superman

[PatrickG]

Superman doesn't have a mullet. Oh. Wait. He did in the 90s. Geez. One more thing that didn't last to be thankful for.

[Papergirl]

Why do I think that that response had something to do with THIS?
*big, innocent anime eyes*

I'm SURE I have absolutely NO idea what you're talking about...

*wanders off whistling Why Don't You Do Right?...*

~Bev

[Cam63]

I'm still trying to figure out why Gail is singing exclusive contracts instead of signing them.

Business at DC is conducted as if the participants are in a Broadway musical and the Mark Waid Dancers make it all the more special.

[Cam63]

Oh, and thanks for the updated J-Bolt goodness, folks :)

[PatrickG]

Hey... I hear that when they were planning JLA/AVENGERS, they met in a theatre down the street from DC's offices on Broadway and it was totally this Jets vs. Sharks moment.

I mean, you guys have surely noticed that Loeb, Rucka, Bendis, Miller, Millar, Morrison, Quesada, Didio all wear leather jackets, right? It's not just for show.

They have musical biker brawls in San Diego... That's where the Anchormen brawl in Anchorman came from. I mean, you did notice it was in San Diego, right?

[palaeomerus]

Business at DC is conducted as if the participants are in a Broadway musical and the Mark Waid Dancers make it all the more special.

Ah give her a break. She used to be a lebian you know.

[tangentman]

Okay, who or what is this "J-Bolt"? I've seen the name come up too often to remain indifferent, but I don't get the reference.

Can someone fill me in on this guy?

[Gail Simone]

Ah give her a break. She used to be a lebian you know.


You're so mean to me. Picking on me for being a lebian. I can't help what I am!

Gail

[the4thpip]

You're so mean to me. Picking on me for being a lebian. I can't help what I am!

Gail
Gail, will you speak at the big Agy and Lebian Parade in May?

[MacQuarrie]

Okay, who or what is this "J-Bolt"? I've seen the name come up too often to remain indifferent, but I don't get the reference.

Can someone fill me in on this guy?
Start here: http://www.monkeyspit.net/rantman/jbolt.php

Short version: J-Bolt is a delusional ball of raging ego who pretends to be a comics pro/movie producer. Every couple of years he crawls out of the woodwork to try another harebrained scheme to con unsuspecting people into handing over money for comics and/or products that don't actually exist. The best part for most of us is the unique combination of grandiose, contradictory, obviously impossible claims and the most mangled grammar imaginable. The man is the undisputed master of the malaprop; fully half the words in his vocabulary mean something other than what he thinks they do, and he uses the other half incorrectly.

He's currently posting his paranoid frothings on the forums at his "fan site" (I think he's paying somebody to run it for him): http://www.jbolted.com

At the moment, Gail and I are the sole sources of all his problems. We devote our every waking moment to destroying his company and thwarting his plans. Somehow we are able to do this by means of forum posting. We haven't been able to stop George Lucas, but we've got J-Bolt cornered, by god.

[MacQuarrie]

You're so mean to me. Picking on me for being a lebian. I can't help what I am!

Gail
I thought he meant you were plebian. Then I remembered the boy's linguistic skills.

[YoGo]

I thought he meant you were plebian. Then I remembered the boy's linguistic skills.

Yes, they lean toward the cunning side dont they?

[Crowley]

J-Bolt answers questions:

do you have employees overseas?

what's the benefit package like?

do you use inturns?

what can you give as advice to young guy like me trying to make in it the comic book industry?

The answers to your question:
-No, I do not currently have any employees oversee, but do have several submissions.
-Our bonus schedule is out strongest benefit, the most popular is tht we give those that produce comics a small commission on every comic sold that they work on, as opposed to other companies which only offer commissions for copies sold over 100,000
-Yes, as a matter of fact, the entire BombShell cgi department are inturns
-My advice to be your own artst (not a copycat who uses another artist's style) when drawing your comics.
J-

[Typo Lad]

Commisions?

What the heck?

[Crowley]

I'm still on "the entire BombShell cgi department"

apparently you hire a CGI department BEFORE you get a greenlight.

[angryrican]

I wonder how can I apply for an "inturnship"?

[TCJohnson]

I'm still on "the entire BombShell cgi department"

apparently you hire a CGI department BEFORE you get a greenlight.

Well, he already has a green light and an oscar nomination for best supporting actor.

As for the inturns, probably the easiest college credit they have ever gotten.

[Crowley]

one day I want to make J-Bolt:the movie

Jeff Foxworthy as J-Bolt
Samantha Fox as herself

the movie would start with "Sunglasses at Night" by Corey Hart and end with "Don't stop Believin'" by Journey.

[Dreadstar]

Why would you do that to Jeff? He's a pretty nice guy by most accounts. Did he kick yer dog or somethin?

[TCJohnson]

Ok, how about Andrew Dice Clay?

[palaeomerus]

You're so mean to me. Picking on me for being a lebian. I can't help what I am!

Gail

If I really like looking at pig meat sandwiches does that mean I have hamospectual tendencies?

http://www.janinehosegood.co.uk/FOOD%20PICS/HAM%20SANDWICH.jpg

[Dreadstar]

Ok, how about Andrew Dice Clay?


...


Too articulate.


But OK.

[Gail Simone]

J-Bolt answers questions:

God, he's an idiot.


There are NO companies that pay royalties beginning at 100k.

SUCH A LIAR.

Gail

[angryrican]

one day I want to make J-Bolt:the movie

Jeff Foxworthy as J-Bolt
Samantha Fox as herself

the movie would start with "Sunglasses at Night" by Corey Hart and end with "Don't stop Believin'" by Journey.

I was thinking more Spike Jonze as J-Bolt. I think of the scene in Three Kings when he's shooting a shotgun back home while sporting a mullet.

[TCJohnson]

God, he's an idiot.


There are NO companies that pay royalties beginning at 100k.

SUCH A LIAR.

Gail

Jim Shooter said when he was editor of Marvel he would give royalties for books that sold over 100k (I think....don't have the article in front of me but it was a pretty high number.) That was in the 80s when a lot more books were selling more than 100k on a regular basis.

[Typo Lad]

God, he's an idiot.


There are NO companies that pay royalties beginning at 100k.

SUCH A LIAR.

Gail

See, I'm thinking he's more...deluded.

[Crowley]

Jordan was suggested as Bombshell and he says "acting is the most important thing"

because... y'know SABLE won Emmys.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Jordan was suggested as Bombshell and he says "acting is the most important thing"

because... y'know SABLE won Emmys.


Ya know , the more I think of It , the more I agree with what Gail or someone posted awhile back. That J-Bolt was using this as a way to try and get a babe on his casting couch.

Rena Mero ( Sable ) was going thru some maritial problems with Marc Mero at the time J-Bolt made her his key casting decision. I'm guessing he thought by getting her for this should would leave Marc and go to him.

Then Rena started a relationship with Brock Lesnar and watch how fast J-Bolt dumped her In 2004. It was fast. So he moved his object of his affections to another babe and we see how thats failed . I'm sure at this stage he's musing that MacQuarrie and Gail Is costing him from gettin some action ! ;)

[Gail Simone]

Jim Shooter said when he was editor of Marvel he would give royalties for books that sold over 100k (I think....don't have the article in front of me but it was a pretty high number.) That was in the 80s when a lot more books were selling more than 100k on a regular basis.

Exactly, and nothing shows how ignorant he is like when he talks about comics as a business. The few facts he DOES know are woefully out of date, and hilariously skewed to begin with.

What a goofus.

Gail

[Cam63]

You should see how he tries to operate an ATM.

He leaves in a rage several minutes later when it refuses to give him the money he demanded through what he thinks is a microphone.

He's comforted when someone points out he's been on captured on camera. He has fans in the bank, apparently.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Above all else he remains a constant for fun. He really wants me banned and yet...I'm not a member of that site. Its pretty amusing to watch him beg for them to kick almost everyone off so he can plug and play up what he hasn't produced.

Its also fun to watch him blame everyone for not producing anything for 5 years. People jump on Liefeld , but I've yet to see Rob go online and blame us all for not producing any work In this time period. As has Chuck Austen.

Its gonna be funny If he can honestly answer a question I gave him : " How will he be able to sell a Comic In the 100,000 range as he claims , without a name like a Johns or Morrison ? "

[TCJohnson]

You should see how he tries to operate an ATM.

He leaves in a rage several minutes later when it refuses to give him the money he demanded through what he thinks is a microphone.

He's comforted when someone points out he's been on captured on camera. He has fans in the bank, apparently.

that is one of the funniest things I have read this week!

[Crowley]

I now present to you Bombshell #1:
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p01pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p02pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p03pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p04pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p05pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p06pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p07pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p08pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p09pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p10pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p11pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p12pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p13pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p14pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p15pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p16pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p17pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p18pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p19pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p20pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p21pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p22pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p23pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p24pre
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/BombShell/BS01p25pre

feel the uncompleted wrath!

[Roquefort Raider]

feel the uncompleted wrath!

In defence of the incompleteness of the book, I'll say that the unfinished pages look better than the finished ones.

[Matt Algren]

You should see how he tries to operate an ATM.

He leaves in a rage several minutes later when it refuses to give him the money he demanded through what he thinks is a microphone.

He's comforted when someone points out he's been on captured on camera. He has fans in the bank, apparently.
TC's right, that's awesome. The funniest thing I read all week until I read parts of the unfinished Bombshell that Crowley posted.

Honestly, it's just embarassing. Three things jump out at me.

Jim seems to be an ass man. Bombshell wears paper towels (still on the roll) on her wrists (see page 21).And for some reason, some guy is waving at us from the bottom of page 22. Everybody wave back!!!

[MacQuarrie]

Jim seems to be an ass man.
How can you look at those ginormous pontoons and say that?

Isn't it nice, the loving attention Fisher devotes to Bombshell's perineum in every panel while leaving the rest of the page barely more than stick figures. He even noticed it himself and tried to offer a rather shaky explanation for it. Funny guy, that Fisher.

Truth to tell, the work's not that bad, what there is of it. Heavy Byrne influence, but I've seen worse. If he ever finished any of these pages, they wouldn't be much below Heroic Publishing's "Flare" series in quality. At least as far as the art is concerned. Storywise, good lord and butter, this thing stinks out loud. Literally, it induces synesthesia; you can hear it stinking.

Get the boy an editor and a writer, and there might actually be something that would sell. Hell, Lady Death sold. Go figure.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Bombshell 1#


Ok the cover looks freaky. Did this woman just have sex ? She seems happy and well the pose Isn't the worst thing. Its a usual " bad girl " pose at times. You've seen them with Vamparilla and the rest.

I'm guessing she's Inside her former home and Its been blown to hell. That explains the dog exploding sideways In the cover. As well as Bombshell's " man hand " hangin down.


PG.2#

Marcus Is pretty much Tubbs from Miami Vice. The entire look Is that charactor. If this was In the 80's this series could play out well. Plus the Lighter referance made me chuckle. " Law Breaking " Is happening because Marcus Is using a lighter with a pot leaf on It. Wow...


Pg.3


Bombshell has horrible lips. I'm thinking she has started smoking way too much. The mask looks goofy as well.


Pg.4.

Wierdly Bombshell looks back at us In that 1st panel. Its like she's askin : " Should I do Tubbs ? Or wait on Crockett to show up ? "


pg.5

No Grade. Looks like something he drew on a sheet of paper and scribbled writing In there.


pg.6

No Grade. Bombshell must have just had sex and destroyed a building. Odds are Tubbs did the wrong think In the love making department.


pg.7

No Grade. Bombshell emerges and she's not happy. This Is a warning to all men who suffer from premature ejaculation. If your nailin a super chick make sure she's satisfied.

pg.8

This ones more complete. Look guys , always ask a pissed off , sex starved superbabe her name. Or otherwise she hauls ass towards you and wants to punish you !


pg.9

She PMS's the car as bodies fly !


PG.10
Nice Introduction. It does have a Bryne type Influence. Of course why she's remorseful after destroying and killing pretty much everyone Is a shock to me . Again I point back to Tubbs not handling his business as he should have.


pg.11
We also get a look at Bombshell's ass. Yep....notice Its the most detailed.


pg.12

It appears not only does Bombshell show lots of ass and have Miami Vice charactors. Now Frosty the Snowman has dropped In.


pg.13

By god has Frosty went Insane ! He even has a new co-. Nevermind Its that loser charactor from WLS 0#. Oh well....guess we won't see Santa vs Frosty In Lightening Bolt Comics anytime soon. Damn !


pg.14

We learn Bombshell has things to do. Its a swell thing J-Bolt Is provisidng commentary because at this point , besides her name you have no clue about this charactor or her powers. She's an anti-hero. Thats news to me at this stage.


pg.15

Nothing bad here. Mr.T gets Introduced. Of course I'd say that no comic would be complete without George Peppard showing up. Imagine him and Mr.T ! " Yes , I love It when a plan comes togethor! "

pg.16

Pretty much the only original charactor shows up here. J-Bolt uses Lilith of Cheers to create a Detective who Is just Ice. She's never given a name at all he says. Pretty much I'm thinking he should go and use this charactor more.


pg.17
We learn J-Bolt will pretty much ruin this and make the barely good art horrid like he did In WLS Ashcan. He's gonna use a computer. Is It me or does Bombshell's breasts seem to grow with each page size ?


pg.18
Elimanator wants Bombshell to join him. This way they can wage a war on comic fans. Ok If the police can't spot a guy with a soup can on his face and a babe with knock out hooters walking down the street , then what kinda cops are these ?


pg.19

Bombshell loves trees. Damn hippy ! We finally get a flashback and learn who this charactor Is.


pg.20

I can't figure out how Bombshell had a sucky life. She was hot and an honor student. Damn this life ! Damn me for being HOT. This Is a wierd origin to read.

pg.21

Bombshell just wants a good lay thats all. Why can't Elminator see that ?

Pg.22

Yep....she blasts Elminator as the Police Captain notices. I guess at this point Its a damn miarcle someone or anyone from this Police Force can see a guy with a soup can on his head flying across the sky.

pg.23


Elimator Is proof positive that some charactors enjoy rough sex.


Pg.24

Bombshell loves a workout. She's stretching. Wow....


pg.25

By this point J-Bolt calls It a day and takes the next 5 years off. Whew what a job. I mean wow....I so wanna keep reading.


Overall:

Its not the worst story I've ever read comics wise. But lord almighty the origin for this charactor sucks and the whole 1st Issue just goes along. The 1st part had promise then she ran Into Elminator and It bogged down.

At the end I'm left with one question. In the hurry to get Into action with this charactor , wouldn't It have been a tad bit wiser to at least do her origin and not throw Elmiantor and other things at a wall ?


Just my 2 cents.

[PatrickG]

A few snafus:

Page 14: "I'm still not used to Capt. Russell retiring."

I think that should be "being retired" unless Russell makes a habit of "retiring". And there are less awkward ways of saying that.

But I just get this mental image of Russell in PJs, going to bed early every night and having Mr. T pick up his slack.

Then "Explosive experts are on there way to look for incindiary devices."

So the experts are explosive? They're on "there way"?

Page 15:

"Of course I'll be here, Captain." -- "I'll"? But she's here NOW?!

"... caused it's destruction" -- Maybe it would be simpler if he said "destroyed it"?

Page 16:

"Look for anyone that doesn't look like they belong around here." -- Okay. It's a transition line to the T&A. I got that. But it's a bit... reactionary. Is the police department rounding up ethnic minorities? Tourists? Clowns? The line makes no sense out of the artificial context Jim has cooked up for us.

"Every war has it's soldiers. I want you as one of mine."
"Join the crew. Aren't we all?" -- Aren't we all WHAT? Aren't we all wanting me as one of yours?

p19:

"She overcompensated by being an honor roll student." - Huh? Good grades is overcompensating? Is it dangerous or something? I guess being an honor student is supposed to be her first mistake? It would make more sense if it said she overcompensated by devoting herself totally into studies at the exclusion of a personal life. But being an honor student doesn't sound like it's going too far...

"This fact led her to ignore a love life." -- Whose lovelife did she ignore? Really awkward phrasing. Maybe... "Because of this, she gave up on dating."

Continuing, I don't see what about her background led her to chemical research in particular as opposed to just any Ph.D... and I really don't see why all attractive academic overacheivers are any different than her, as in... they don't usually wear exposing outfits and blow people up.

p20.

Why are they debating her motives for thinking? How did this guy know she was thinking and why is he implying that it's bad for women to think? I could buy this easier if he was suggesting that about being a world class genius but he's challenging her for thinking absently for a moment. Hoookay. I guess we're supposed to believe that it's a turnoff for the big guy if women pause a moment to think and that J-Bolt is saying (implicitly) that he gets turned on when women pause to have inexplicable flashbacks detailing the last few years of their life. Huh.

p20-21.

"You want to know my motive, Eliminator? YOU JUST TOUCHED ON IT!"

Uhm. That last bit's an odd thing to shout. It's like, "You want to know what pisses me off? What you just did... with the thing... WAS MILDLY ANNOYING!"

Maybe she should shout something like, "You want to know what happens when somebody bushes my buttons, Eliminator? YOU'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT!"

"I think we've found something that doesn't belong. Get a chopper." Uhm. Okay. They're still looking for anything that doesn't belong and *the police* are going to head into a burning forest in a chopper? Shouldn't the fire department handle that first? And what happened to her love of trees?

"... My kind of woman." -- Uhm? Okay. Your kind of woman blows up forests. Whatever, man.

p. 23

Hokay. So the emotional climax of her origin (which we never even saw) is already here as she's apparently mad at somebody we've never met and ready to take revenge because they just happen to be nearby. Convenient.

p. 24

What she's doing with her torso here must be another superpower...

[Crowley]

...


you guys actually read it.

[Santanico]

Detective is an attractive black woman but has no visible personality. I thought that would make a perfect female cop.

I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or punch something.

[Crowley]

When I first created the Police Captain Jim Thomas character, I was thinking of someone like Mr. T and drew the character to look that way.
Since that time, Jackson Bostwick and I became friends and I asked him to assay the role, after seeing some of his movies and feeling that he would make a strong appearance as this character.
In the final page, I'll be re-drawing the character to resemble Jackson, as a result.

yet oddly Bostwick will still be saying "I PITY THE FOOL" and "QUIT THAT JIBBA JABBA!" at random moments in the Bombshell movie.

[Cam63]

I agree the art's not that bad ( better than anything I could do, anyways ), but the writing desperately needs some penicillin and a no nonsense editor.

If he weren't such a wanker and accept some help ( and a shitload of psychiatric counselling ), the Bombshell comic may've actually left the drawing board by now.

Thanks for the compliments re my J-Bolt at the ATM joke, btw :D

[PatrickG]

I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or punch something.

Sounds like Halle Berry to me...

[PatrickG]

Oh...

And he ought to get Gomer Pyle as the policeman who keeps ticking Captain Thomas off.

Gomer: "Shazaaaaaaam."

Jackson: "What did you just say?"

[YoGo]

I love how he won't give up on the Marquis who's who line.

I'll conclude my response by asking when, if at all, was Stan Lee, or Todd McFarlane inducted into the Marquis Who's Who In America for their accomplishments involved with the entertainment industry? I was inducted in the 2005 edition for what I've achieved already, and have been requested to send them the new information (which I have) to be inducted again into the 2006 edition for my further accomplishments that include an innovative new mechanism that I designed to help actors/actresses be more comfortable in inclimate conditions, but turned out to have more practical uses for those who work in similar or worse atmospheric areas, such as space travel, arctic research, desert land exploration, etc., yet is barely noticable, even when wearing something as tight as spandex. It was an invention I created while I was working on the Marinna costume design.

[Matt Algren]

"I think we've found something that doesn't belong. Get a chopper." Uhm. Okay. They're still looking for anything that doesn't belong and *the police* are going to head into a burning forest in a chopper? Shouldn't the fire department handle that first?Well, we all know you can't trust the fire department! And since real life cops let Jim get out of tickets and stuff all the time, I'm not surprised that they're the first ones on the scene.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

I love how he won't give up on the Marquis who's who line.

Quote:
I'll conclude my response by asking when, if at all, was Stan Lee, or Todd McFarlane inducted into the Marquis Who's Who In America for their accomplishments involved with the entertainment industry? I was inducted in the 2005 edition for what I've achieved already, and have been requested to send them the new information (which I have) to be inducted again into the 2006 edition for my further accomplishments that include an innovative new mechanism that I designed to help actors/actresses be more comfortable in inclimate conditions, but turned out to have more practical uses for those who work in similar or worse atmospheric areas, such as space travel, arctic research, desert land exploration, etc., yet is barely noticable, even when wearing something as tight as spandex. It was an invention I created while I was working on the Marinna costume design.







His ego won't. Everyone has told him that the Award Is pretty much a " joke" . But he won't let go because he pretty much hates to admit that someone has nominated him as a joke.

This line about creating something for austronaunts In space Is new. I guess he's still trying to sell that he actually did do something to earn an Award . Even If Its a joke one.

[TCJohnson]

I heard that James Fisher is suing J-Bolt for royalties from the comics.

[MacQuarrie]

I love how he won't give up on the Marquis who's who line.
I think I'll take a stroll over to the library and see who is in fact listed in Who's Who....

[Crowley]

I'm actually curious how you can list your name as J-bolt in Who's Who????

[Dreadstar]

I'm actually curious how you can list your name as J-bolt in Who's Who????
Well, it's your money, I suppose you can use whatever name you want to pay for.

[PatrickG]

Well, we all know you can't trust the fire department! And since real life cops let Jim get out of tickets and stuff all the time, I'm not surprised that they're the first ones on the scene.

But if the police were looking for anything "that doesn't belong" after an explosion, don't you think they'd go after the guy in "the mask", the mullet and the suit with lightning bolts on it?

[Crowley]

new "developments" at jbolted.com

[Matt Algren]

But if the police were looking for anything "that doesn't belong" after an explosion, don't you think they'd go after the guy in "the mask", the mullet and the suit with lightning bolts on it?You have to remember that this is Earth-J we're talking about. Lightning lapels and old-man sunglasses are signs of prestige.

I just hope those cops don't find any lebians...

[Crowley]

http://www.jbolted.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=69

so some "model" shows up and the nerds are already drooling over her... it's probably just J-Bolt himself pretending to be her.

[PatrickG]

That's Jeri Ryan from Star Trek. Or her twin.

Sigh. This is gonna be fun to watch anyway.

[Crowley]

it's does kinda look like her.














she'd be a good Bombshell.



WHAT?

[SUPERECWFAN1]

http://www.jbolted.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=69

so some "model" shows up and the nerds are already drooling over her... it's probably just J-Bolt himself pretending to be her.


It could be Heather Andes even . ;)

[MacQuarrie]

I'm actually curious how you can list your name as J-bolt in Who's Who????
Here's how:

Bolt, J., communications executive.

Yes, J-Bolt is actually listed, along with a few dubious acheivements. Such as having been suckered into paying for a similar listing back when he was in high school, the National Academic Acheivement directory or some such. He also credits himself as having won the "Notoriety prize" at the 1999 Comicon for his legendary poster. I have no clue if this is meant to be the Comic-Con International at San Diego, but I've been going to that since 1981 and never heard of any Notoriety prize.

Anyway, J-Bolt is correct; neither Stan Lee nor Rob Liefeld are listed. Neither are John Byrne, Frank Miller, Chris Claremont, Howard Chaykin, or Jeanette Kahn. Paul Levitz and the late Will Eisner are listed, both in their positions as senior executives of publishing companies.

The really interesting thing is who is listed. A lot of retired doctors, lawyers, middle-management people and moderately successful entrepreneurs. For example, here is the complete listing of people named "Bolt":

Bolt, Bruce Alan -- seismologist
Bolt, Dawn Maria -- financial coach and stock trader
Bolt, Eunice Mildred DeVries -- watercolorist
Bolt, J., communications executive
Bolt, John A -- newspaper editor
Bolt, Lynda Elaine -- alcohol/drug abuse services professional

Surely none of them believe themselves to be more successful than Stan Lee.

[Loren]

Here's how:

Bolt, J., communications executive.

Yes, J-Bolt is actually listed, along with a few dubious acheivements. Such as having been suckered into paying for a similar listing back when he was in high school, the National Academic Acheivement directory or some such.

To be fair, it's possible he wasn't suckered into anything other than believing that the listing truly meant something. I was listed in Who's Who Among American High School Students several years back, but it didn't cost me anything. They just sent me something saying "Congrats, you're listed! Now, would you like to buy a $50 book?" And I didn't buy anything, but I think I included the mention when I was applying for colleges.

Now if J-Bolt actually owns a copy of the book that has his name listed, he got snookered.

Loren

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Here's how:

Bolt, J., communications executive.

Yes, J-Bolt is actually listed, along with a few dubious acheivements. Such as having been suckered into paying for a similar listing back when he was in high school, the National Academic Acheivement directory or some such. He also credits himself as having won the "Notoriety prize" at the 1999 Comicon for his legendary poster. I have no clue if this is meant to be the Comic-Con International at San Diego, but I've been going to that since 1981 and never heard of any Notoriety prize.

Anyway, J-Bolt is correct; neither Stan Lee nor Rob Liefeld are listed. Neither are John Byrne, Frank Miller, Chris Claremont, Howard Chaykin, or Jeanette Kahn. Paul Levitz and the late Will Eisner are listed, both in their positions as senior executives of publishing companies.

The really interesting thing is who is listed. A lot of retired doctors, lawyers, middle-management people and moderately successful entrepreneurs. For example, here is the complete listing of people named "Bolt":

Bolt, Bruce Alan -- seismologist
Bolt, Dawn Maria -- financial coach and stock trader
Bolt, Eunice Mildred DeVries -- watercolorist
Bolt, J., communications executive
Bolt, John A -- newspaper editor
Bolt, Lynda Elaine -- alcohol/drug abuse services professional

Surely none of them believe themselves to be more successful than Stan Lee.


In J-Bolts own mind he believes he Is Stan Lee reincarnated. That he Is the next Eisner. Of course to us and many who have read & heard this he couldn't even tie thier shoes.

[Crowley]

my friend at another forum says J-Bolt looks as if Ted Nugent and Stan Lee had a baby.

[Crowley]

The best way to weed out MacQuarrie, Simone and the other bashers is to notice any new or existing members that start out friendly, courteous, and even supportive, but then they start turning vicious in a heartbeat by casting doubt on everything that is in support of me/my company to everyone else on the board. If they get banned and their posts deleted, they'll immediatly log on as a Guest or under a new user handle and do the same thing all over again.
As for their writing style, that is a major red flag also, because they'll purposely use bad spelling, grammar, sentence structure, etc. in order to try and fool us all into thinking that they are common people who happened upon the site.
If you look at the times/dates of the posts, you'll even see when they've each created multiple handles by posting a comment, logging off, then logging back on as a different user. They do so using multiple accounts acquired by getting different ISP trial disks, changing their IP numbers and other such methods in order to deceive those who are reading the posts.
They are creatures of habit who, no matter how many times they are caught doing these things, they don't break their M.O. This is why I don't worry about them reading the knowledge of their methods... because they can't change them, due to their own stupidity and end up showing their true selves before the ISP trial periods end.
In short, when you see a post author that just doesn't look quite right, be on your guard because it doesn't take them very long to blow their own cover. These are the types of people that would be prize winners on the "World's Dumbest Criminals" TV show. Once they've shown themselves, pounce on them, and they won't be able to take the pressure; rather they'll go, kicking and screaming like impudent little children that badly need psychological help.
I hope this helps you,
J-

then answering other questions:
how many people do you have working for you?

how many people have you fired in the last few years?

what studio is producing the movie?

how many people are on the CGI team?

-I don't know because I don't keep count. Not including the cast/crew of the film, I know that there are several dozens.
-There's something else I don't count. I don't like having to fire people, but I've fired under a dozen in the last few years. Over the whole existence of my company, I've fired more people than are currently employed, I'm sure, unfrotunately.
-My studio, Lightning Bolt Productions, is producing the movie.
-Since the CGI team are a group of inturns with a CG institution, I don't have the number of people that they'll be having work on the project. They're still interviewing inturns to best represent their interests in the project.
J-

and then my favorite:
http://www.jbolted.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=69

[SUPERECWFAN1]

It should be noted that J-Bolt has aplogzied and yet pretty much as usual shipped blame to everyone here. Because MacQuarrie ran people off his movie.

[Crowley]

on calling Gail a lebian:
My first thought was to say that you can't be that stupid, but my knowledge of your CBR connections reminded me that all of them are that stupid. Everyone knows that my response was going along with the joke-at-hand, I have no prejudices (accept rightfully against bash forum members), and that my only contribution to the joke was Simone being a former hairdresser. How do I know this? Because her first attacks, upon me, were because I choose to keep my hair long and she bragged about her former occupation.
What was the deciding factor that you're a basher? Out of everyone who started that joke, and continued it, you singled me out. Why didn't anyone else notice this? HMMMmmmmmmm...

[SUPERECWFAN1]

After his apology/blame I wrote back and pretty much tried to tell him that no one here or at other sites have the power to delay a major Hollywood release and to stop blaming everyone.


Odds are he'll continue to do so.

[Crowley]

and now...

WHEN LIGHTNING STRIKES ASHCAN #0

http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P01
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P02
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P03
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P04
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P05
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P06
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P07
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P08
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P09
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P10
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P11
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P12
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P13
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P14
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P15
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P16
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P17
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P18
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P19
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P20
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P21
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P22
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P23
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P24
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P25

[SUPERECWFAN1]

It appears that Omar has now found J-Bolt. Its like seeing 2 guys meet who ya know are totally different , but yet so close. Wow....

[Crowley]

??? who's Omar?

[Michael P]

??? who's Omar?
Well-established Comicon and Newsarama troll.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Well-established Comicon and Newsarama troll.


Is anyone shocked him and J-Bolt have finally found each other ? This should be fun .

[Michael P]

Oh, very much so. Whomever loses, we win. I demand linkage.

[Crowley]

www.jbolted.com

[Gail Simone]

Somethin's not making sense. Omar has a legion of enemies, but he's not an idiot. The posts he's making don't make any sense.

Somewhere there's a fake goin' on.

But oh, my god, J-bolt needs to get over the idea that I'm posting under a different handle. I don't even know HOW to do that, and I swore I never would. And so I HAVEN'T.

Gail

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Since I enjoyed my Bombshell review this looks like a good time to do WLS 0#. Yep , prepare for the fun !



Pg.1#


The Great Gods have brought this comic to you. You see a Goddess's eyes and for God's thier pretty wishy washy. I know I want my celestial God to be asleep at times. Waiting on...When Lightening Strikes !!


pg.2

Joe Is obviously hitting the roids In this. I mean look at how he's sweating as he does arm crunches. I would warn that unless he becomes a super hero he faces a future of having his nuts shrink.


pg.3

Its Joe's piss poor luck that he's an Inventor , workout buff who happens to be driving home 3 days ahead as a toxic waste barrell and lightening hits his car. People....this Is called God really wantin to piss on your corn flakes!

pg.4

Joe gets superhuman strength and becomes Invulnerable like Superman. Plus he flies. So wierdly someone shoots him In a scene that makes no sense and In another as he's flying away people comment and ask: " Is He flying ? " . To this you have to wonder If the no names off panel are stupied or the cops In Bombshell .


pg.5

We meet Eliminator who Is a horrible charactor In a soup can with a cape. Wierdly J-Bolt's homage to the 80's In Bombshell made me find Comics Scene magazine from the early 80's and a Steve Cruise used to work for them. I Imagine he Is touched to find he Is a bad guy now.

pg.6
Linda oddly dies off panel during this time as Bolt swears revenge. Its pretty fast and makes no sense at all. I'm guessing she died after Bolt had a riod rage episode In bed. Or eithor Elminator killed her. Be better If riod rage did It personally.


pg.7

We meet the bad guys who don't look half bad. One Is named Arsenal. The other Is named BladeMaster. The last one I can't make his name out due to the art.

Its to bad these guys are rushed out and forgotten so fast.


pg.8

Of course no comic Is complete without seeing the heroes love Interest get killed. Of course this has a workout partner/wife being offed. Joe snaps with his roid rage !


pg.9

Then of we see that plot forgotten a 2nd time In this 25 page book .

pg.10


We meet everyones favorite miss-spelled villain named Wolff.


pg.11

Fight scene as Joe gets scared at facing the mighty Wolff. Whats scary Is this villain looks lame and the B-Level Villains J-Bolt mentioned In 1 page look better than this.


pg.12

Wolff demands to be left alone. I'm guessing he likes to do his business out In the woods. The Celestial Gods watching act like thier WWE Fans as Bolt gets his ass kicked. Because thats what God does on his off days when he sleeps late. Cheer on good guys In the WWE like a little girl.


pg.13

Wolff has superstrength . Again when a half man/half animal wants to take a piss alone In the woods you should know to back away. Bolt didn't and you see how he suffers.


pg.14


Then we get that kooky , hilarous Wolff origin where Bobby Elms gets wolf blood In a transfusion. I'm thinking that the Hospital Is next to a petting zoo or next a lot where NBC's , Fear Factor Is being filmed and someone was supposed to drink some wolf's blood.


pg.15

Bobby however has a sense of style. He has watched Teen Wolf and realizes that he can't go out there In the buff. So he grabs his pants and leaves. I'm shocked he didn't pay the bill.


pg.16

Proving that the Doctor's are just as stupied as the cops In the LBC World , they watch a guy grow hair Instantly and change. They think he's lost his mind and not realize his full change. It figures. They see wolf's blood there and It hits em...." Damn , he maybe a werewolf. Damn It thats It ! "


pg.17

We meet Manes , Lord of Hades. Because Satan decided to sit this one out. I'm thinking even he realized how bad this was gonna be. He's the Prince of Darkness. But even he has limits on how bad he punishes people.


pg.18

We meet Draco who Is Elvis In a bad costume. Its funny to watch J-Bolt actually defend this costume. Because It clearly sucks on a charactor that has promise.


pg.19


J-Bolt tried telling me how this Is actual punishment and how Draco Is fighting against his father by being banished to share his sould with a human. It doesn't actually make sense. Why would Manes even do It If Draco was nice and liked humanity anyhow ?

Simple english.....Draco should have been made to hate humanity and detests being joined with a human and fights to get back to Hades. His father tosses obstacles In his way to stop him. Its about a being learning to co-exist with something he's really not Interested In being.

Sorry J-Bolt...this one don't work.


pg.20


Sucky origin 2# coming right up.


pg.21

Ok what guy actually thinks playing a record back will create a tune ? This guy Is moronic.


pg.22

Introudicng Draco with a sucky costume. Last I heard D-Man of Marvel fame Is thinking of filing a lawsuit against the charactor.


pg.23

Manes pretty much creates a hero to fight against him. Wow.....Is that a villain. I'm betting next he gives the key to Hades to Bill Gates for Microsoft technology.


pg.24


All 3 need a better Introduction personally. Bolt's Is kinda ok. But Wolff and Draco's.....ugh.


pg.25

Whoa !! See you next month In Lightening Strikes 1# . Holy f-cking sh-t. When does that arrive ?


I'm guessing once J-Bolt stops blaming evryone for not kissing his ass and loving these comics as gospel. Well what can ya say. It took em 5 years to create all this. This huge LBC Empire. Maybe he'll actually finish Bombshell 1# sometime. Or make WLS 1# at some point. Oh who am I kiddin ?

[Crowley]

by the way if the top panel looks familiar:
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/Members/WLS/WLS0P11

it's from the running Wolverine that Todd McFarlane did, that Liefeld later copied.

[YoGo]

Is anyone shocked him and J-Bolt have finally found each other ? This should be fun .

Oooh, crossover!~

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Oooh, crossover!~


Yep , thats what I'm saying. Should be fun. I just wonder when they'll come to blows. Or who's ego will get bruised 1st ? :)

[Crowley]

oooh J-Bolt and one of his sycophants are at J-Bolted right now!

[abbas.khan]

how on earth did you guys find the free time to go through all of j-bolt's 'work'?