More Make Me Laugh, Please!

[Michael P]

Grand Theft Auto: Lego City (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMSKTogpRvQ&search=grand%20theft%20auto)

[Cam63]

http://yourmomsbasement.com/images/EdAvatar/graveyard.jpg

So, they put him in the Butt hole ?

[Karl J. Barnes]

http://www.ahajokes.com/laws016.html

[Lubichev]

http://yourmomsbasement.com/images/EdAvatar/graveyard.jpg
He was so glad to finally die. Until St. Peter renamed him "Angel Butt."

[sk716]

1. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
2. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
3. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
4. Don't use any punctuation marks
5. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
6. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
7. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
8. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
9. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
10. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
11. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
12. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
14. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
15. Sing along at the opera.
16. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
17. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"




I've actually done 5, 8, 16, 18, 19.

[sk716]

1. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
2. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
3. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
4. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
5. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray airfresheners.
8. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
9. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.
10. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
11. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away.Continue to do this until they leave the department.
12. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
13. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't getout much,and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
14. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
15. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
16. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
17. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
18. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
19. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
20. Play "Hide And Go Seek" and hide in the middle of the round racks.
21. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
22. Play with the automatic doors.
23. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upsidedown.
24. Put M&M's on layaway.
25. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
26. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
27. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
28. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
29. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
30. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
31. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
32. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
33. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
34. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
35. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
36. TP as much of the store as possible.
37. Take bets on the battle described above.
38. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
39. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefieldwith G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
40. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
41. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
42. Two words: "Marco Polo."
43. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
44. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
45. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
46. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
47. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
48. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOWLY, especially thin narrow aisles.
49. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them,yelling, "Red Rover!"
50. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?"


I'm guilty of (most of them on the clock):
5, 6, 8, 11, 12, 16 (Once, it was a "deck of USB cards" that we demanded, of an irritating electronics associtate. On another occasion it was "Banana Flavored Monkey Chow", from a confused K-Mart employee.), 20, 22, 25, I was thrown out of a Toys R Us for 29, 40, 42, 50.

Odd note on 24: We found a box of Tide on layaway the other day. It was actually on layaway.

[Lester C.]

1. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
2. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
3. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
4. Don't use any punctuation marks
5. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
6. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
7. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
8. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
9. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
10. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
11. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
12. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
14. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
15. Sing along at the opera.
16. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
17. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"




I've actually done 5, 8, 16, 18, 19.
I just printed this list am going to put it into practice soon.

[David Bedlam]

Check out this advert! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=et_z5RdrIVc&search=Stockings%20Commercial)

[David Bedlam]

It's Forklift-Klaus! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RekHRd5QrMw&search=funny%20adverts)

It's in German and unsubtitled, but once it gets going, it's really funny!

[Lubichev]

CONROE, Texas -- A Conroe school district coach is on leave while officials investigate claims that he forced a student athlete to defecate into a bag and urinate into a cup, KPRC Local 2 reported.

The student said it happened during a bus ride back from a sporting event.

Students and parents said they are disturbed about the allegations against coach Joseph Rodriguez but are divided about what action should be taken.

"It's kind of gross and unexpected, but at the same time, to me, it's not a big deal. It's an emergency. I mean, it's only humane to let a child go to the bathroom," said Barron Fredericks, a Conroe ISD student.

The school district would not comment on the investigation.

[Calamas]

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e219/Calamas/pic_0193.jpg

[Calamas]

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e219/Calamas/bb4r717ca.jpg

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e219/Calamas/U8ZRk3B4.jpg

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e219/Calamas/pic_0210.jpg

[Kyuubi]

http://luchins.com/dickery/SUPERMAN07_Gay%20City_IV.JPG
http://www.luchins.com/blog.html

[sk716]

I wanted to add this here for two reasons:

1. A lot of people don't check the CoH/CoV related threads.
2. I think it's funny.

While it's not Shakespeare, let me present my first Demo Edit:

Riot's Music Video (http://supergroups.oddduck.net/filemgmt/viewcat.php?cid=5)


I hope it provides a chuckle.

[Michael P]

Pack your shit, folks. (http://oneworldtogo.ytmnd.com/)

[Calamas]

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e219/Calamas/889suXm0.jpg

[Cam63]

Pack your shit, folks. (http://oneworldtogo.ytmnd.com/)

Snakes on a plane = scary shit.

Funnelweb spiders on a plane = scarier than scary shit.

[Kyuubi]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v333/overt/1144887881359.jpg

[Kevinroc]

http://kira.ore-sama.ca/bart/spaz.jpg

Something fun in the wake of Infinite Crisis. Bart was right in his outburst. :p

[the4thpip]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v333/overt/1144887881359.jpg
"bounds up"? :confused:

[Kyuubi]

"bounds up"? :confused:



Normal people tie.





Deadpool bounds.

[the4thpip]

Normal people tie.





Deadpool bounds.

I thought it was spelled "bounces"?

[the4thpip]

http://www.salon.com/comics/boll/2006/04/13/boll/story.gif

[Cam63]

I thought that'd be how God works.

[geordiesteve]

Short, amusing story and real too!

Las Vegas, about five weeks ago now.

I'm at the Treasure Island show with my girlfriend at night, people are lined up waiting for it to begin. Show goes ok, no problems, crowd is pretty big and when it ends we all start to shuffle off slowly, as there are so many people in a small space. One woman gets irate at the extra 2 minutes it will take her to get free of the crowd. She turns to her partner and says:

"God, we're packed in here like.....sausauges!"

Her partner replies: "Sardines baby, not sausages."


Well, it made me smile.

[Cam63]

Maybe she's been to an Aussie barbie ?

[Michael P]

http://www.shortpacked.com/comics/20060405bingo.png

[Tommy]

http://grouper.com/GlobalMedia/MediaDetails.aspx?id=585026

[Kyuubi]

And now...


More excerpts from: THE SUPER DICTIONARY!



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v333/overt/BC.png

"good friend" eh?



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v333/overt/JimmyOlsen.png

"Mr. Action" eh?



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v333/overt/Joker.png

I have no comment for this, I just want to know what the hell the Joker's doing in this picture.

[Sean Whitmore]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v333/overt/Joker.png


The Joker played a very silly joke on Batgirl, and now she can't walk anymore.


SEAN

[Michael P]

"Then he dresses up and pretends to be someone else."

Yeah, usually a woman.

[Michael P]

http://img184.imageshack.us/img184/143/scan12aa.jpg

[kingdom2000]

Funny comic, no idea how to embed the pic so here is the link.

http://www.pvponline.com/archive/2006/pvp20060423.gif

[Cam63]

http://img184.imageshack.us/img184/143/scan12aa.jpg

I think I just joined their cause.

[Cam63]

"Then he dresses up and pretends to be someone else."

Yeah, usually a woman.

Jim is either a very clever amateur detective, or he's just being honest with himself.

[Budgie Inspector]

Here's a double-shot of Eternia for ya:

http://www.whoomp.com/media/data/2/he-man.mov
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61E2eI4QqH4

[Dr. Killtrocity]

I heart old comics ads.
http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/6687/captainamericainfuryunleashed8.jpg

[the4thpip]

http://www.dribbleglass.com/subpages/strange/job.jpg

[Cam63]

That is brilliant.

[Hybrid2]

A few jokes.

As spring is here, the BBQ will be out sooner rather than later.
It's the only type of cooking a real man will do. When a man
volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the
necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging
beside the grill -- beer in hand.
Here comes the important part .
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine....
5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
Important again .
7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine.....
Cool The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,sauces, and
brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most of all...
10) Everyone PRAISES the man and THANKS him for his cooking efforts.
11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing
her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.




HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.



Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's
Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't
taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick!: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight.

I love you, darling!

Love,Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast,
steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3A.M., drunk and out of your mind.
You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. Confused he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?

His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"

Broken Coffee Table $39.99

Hot Breakfast $4.20

Two Aspirins $.38

Saying the Right Thing, at the Right Time..........PRICELESS.

[Grazzt]

C For Cookie. (http://youtube.com/watch?v=V9rzMaAucI4)

Need I say more?

[The Xenos]

C For Cookie. (http://youtube.com/watch?v=V9rzMaAucI4)

That was awesome.

[Cam63]

Need I say more ?

No, that's good enough for me.

[EdContradictory]

Skullcrusher Mountain (http://www.jonathancoulton.com/lyrics/skullcrusher-mountain)

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

C For Cookie. (http://youtube.com/watch?v=V9rzMaAucI4)

Need I say more?

Smile now on face. :)

[the4thpip]

"Then he dresses up and pretends to be someone else."

Yeah, usually a woman.


http://www.noelsardalla.com/Pics/Comeeks/jimmy-o1.jpg

[geordiesteve]

C For Cookie. (http://youtube.com/watch?v=V9rzMaAucI4)

Need I say more?

Excellent. I love the Count, vaan, two...ok you have two chances. :)

[kid_mash]

Do you have The Funk? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WePib_i6uYU&search=the%20mighty%20boosh)

[Azrael52]

My Starbucks napkin is trying to seduce me!:eek:

It says things like:
"Let me touch it" and "On my face" and "growing"

I feel . . . dirty.:o but caffinated :)

[sk716]

http://www.fuckthiswebsite.com/

Just click the link.

[the4thpip]

http://www.fuckthiswebsite.com/

Just click the link.
Damn, that gallery is good juvenile fun.

[the4thpip]

Ach! Hitler Cats! (http://hitlercats.motime.com/)

[Space Poo]

This made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants.

http://www.planetvids.com/html/Drunk-In-The-Police-Station.html

Scary to think he was driving!

[Kyuubi]

http://70.86.201.113/imageserv2/stilltemporary/PBF105ADDurabInc.gif

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

Psst! Wanna hear the Greatest Song of All Time? Then go right here and click on "Barry Dworkin: Rock N' Roll Dreams'll Come Through!":

http://www.friendsoftom.com/audio.shtml

Do I hear Grammy? (I thought she moved out years ago)

[Sean Whitmore]

Psst! Wanna hear the Greatest Song of All Time? Then go right here and click on "Barry Dworkin: Rock N' Roll Dreams'll Come Through!":


Feh. Thought it was the Meat Loaf song.


SEAN

[Damo]

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=762580867&n=2&Mytoken=14AEFC5C-64D1-131C-BC1EA7CEB0179CFD3031876

"Rainbow" was an EXTREMELY popular children's TV show in the U.K. in the 70s, and only got cancelled in the 90s. Seeing as how the people working on it were completely insane, and probably quite tired of having to do a kids show every bloody day, once a year they'd make a joke episode and distribute it just to people working on the show. Unsurprisingly these tapes got copied, handed around, and... well, there you go. Internet. This never aired, but was still made by the folks that did the real show, which for a long time in the UK was more popular than stuff like Seseame street.

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

Prison Humor:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCWANvhkY90&search=david%20sedaris

I think I kinda vaguely remember this show from old promos; it came on too late for me.

[Anne Timmons]

Got this one from niece:

Dear Diary,

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double pane energy efficient kind. But today I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I hadn't paid for them.

Hellloooo? Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told ME last year... namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would pay for THEMSELVES.

Helllooooo? It's been a year!

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He didn't call back.

Guess I won that stupid argument.

[David Bedlam]

The greatest comedy scetch of all time. Ever. Hands down. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9Ly2XCE3jQ&search=Monty%20Python)

[Michael P]

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/8033/andthennv6.jpg

[David Bedlam]

Milia the President! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsI1aQp_IhQ)

[Michael P]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PS5CJOwyh9s&search=home%20base

[NickG]

Everytime I watch it I laugh very hard

Dark Vader Phone Call
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYUw1rdJWh4

[Merey]

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/8033/andthennv6.jpg

This perfectly encapsulates my sense of humor.

[Indivisible]

You will bow before Action Cats!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f55HkPTmsvw&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Estuffonmycat%2Ecom%2Findex %2Ephp%3Fstartpos%3D80


Also, Stuff On My Cat.

http://www.stuffonmycat.com/

[Lubichev]

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c368/Lubichev/SeaSex.jpg
http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c368/Lubichev/SeaParty.jpg
http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c368/Lubichev/Gas.jpg

[Matt Algren]

I'm sure I'm late to the game, but this site (http://thesneeze.com/) is frickin' hilarious. This page (http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000301.php) had me in tears. Yes, I'm just that immature.

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

Little Rashy goes to ComicCon:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxpbBFFaFw8

[DubipR]

Chad Vader: Day Shift Manager...classic.

Ep 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CiW838wNiM&search=Chad%20Vader

Ep 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AC29Nhc_kes&search=Chad%20Vader

[HomerJay]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v655/HomerJay64/annefranksdiaryfd5.jpg

[The Xenos]

What? Anne Frank couldn't write in a journal. She was blind, deaf, and dumb until that miracle worker lady showed up to teach her how to communicate.

[Sean Whitmore]

What? Anne Frank couldn't write in a journal. She was blind, deaf, and dumb until that miracle worker lady showed up to teach her how to communicate.


No, you're thinking of...oh, whatsername...Little Orphan Annie.


SEAN

[Forefinger]

No, you're thinking of...oh, whatsername...Little Orphan Annie.


SEAN
Close but no cigar. It was Bea Arthur.

[the4thpip]

http://ec3.images-amazon.com/images/P/B000HPB8FO.01-A2Y624Y5TXKSKI._AA280_SCLZZZZZZZ_V59916971_.jpg

Amazon.com Sales Rank: None

[Michael P]

A two-fer:

http://dsss.be/i/img/1093194837422.jpg

http://pjw.planetquake.gamespy.com/grafix/swrocks.jpg

[lalalei2001]

There were three people on an airplane. One was Thomas Jefferson. One was George Bush. And the last was Bill Clinton. They opened up the airplane door and Thomas Jefferson threw out a 100 dollar bill and said "I just saved a family!"

George Bush looked at Jefferson and then threw out 2 100 dollar bills. He then said, "I just saved TWO families!" Bill Clinton looked at Thomas Jefferson then at George. He sighed and pushed George Bush off the plane and said "I just saved the world!" ^_^

[Punch]

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y34/punch360/cole.gif

[NickG]

How Superman I Should Have Ended.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW8UR81Us54

Freaking hilarious.

[YoGo]

http://www.nata2.info/humor/pictures/americans.gif

[David Bedlam]

http://www.nata2.info/humor/pictures/americans.gif

That's so old it's got cobwebs on it.

It's still funny!

[the4thpip]

That's so old it's got cobwebs on it.

It's still funny!
It's also completely made up, according to snopes.com. IIRC, it originated in a British joke collection.

[DungeonmasterJim]

What did Adam say to Eve?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Better stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets."


DM Jim

[a. non]

A preist, a rabbi and a monk walk into a bar. The rabbi asks "Have you heard the one about us?"

A preist, rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar and get a drink.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove he wasn't a coward.

A horse walks into a bar. The barkeep asks "Why the long face?" The horse answers "The farmer shot my wife."
.
.
.
Didn't see that one coming, did ya? :eek:

[Dedagda]

Why does Mary Kay walk funny?

Because her lipstick.


Or just watch the shoes video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HjIljJd-o0)

[YoGo]

Icon Wars.

http://www.xs4all.nl/~jvdkuyp/flash/see.htm

[YoGo]

Write a speech for BUsh! And hear him read it.
http://www.actofme.co.uk/bush_speech/bushspeechwriter.html

[YoGo]

Omg. They bolly-bastardized Thriller!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll8Qm8yDj-8&eurl=

Just wrong.

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

Icon Wars.

http://www.xs4all.nl/~jvdkuyp/flash/see.htm

My ewido icon could've been a throwing star in that.


(What? I haven't said much for a while)

[YoGo]

http://i2.tinypic.com/2u9u4j7.jpg

[Michael P]

http://www.skizzers.org/metallian/doctorbrown.png

Don't ask. Just click. Do it now.

[sk716]

Why dogs bite thier owners. (http://rosebayfl.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!FE7FA8F6772ECAA9!1965.entry)

[Rhydaman]

From McSweeney's: Stories that would have been different if the protagonists had mobile phones.

ROMEO:
News from Verona! How now, Balthasar?
Dost thou not bring me letters from the friar?
How doth my lady? Is my father well?
How fares my Juliet? That I ask again,
For nothing can be ill if she be well.

BALTHASAR:
Then she is well, and nothing can be ill.
Her body sleeps in Capel's monument,
And her immortal part with angels lives.
I saw her laid low in her kindred's vault
And presently took post to tell it you.
O, pardon me for bringing these ill news,
Since you did leave it for my office, sir.

ROMEO:
Is it e'en so? Then I defy you, stars!
But soft! What SMS through yonder RAZR breaks?

SMS ON ROMEO'S PHONE:
i'm ok -- poison fake
rofl
cul8r
:-*

[mattgoldey]

A three-legged dog walks into a salloon in the old West and says...

...

...

...

"I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw!"

[David Bedlam]

This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_n6j034NB0&mode=related&search=) with have you laughing in just five seconds. And it goes on for six minutes!

There's a one hour (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aTgINExt2w&mode=related&search=) version if you really want to. :)

[Cam63]

This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_n6j034NB0&mode=related&search=) with have you laughing in just five seconds. And it goes on for six minutes!

There's a one hour (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aTgINExt2w&mode=related&search=) version if you really want to. :)

Whitney was so doing the hard stuff !

[Michael P]

This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_n6j034NB0&mode=related&search=) with have you laughing in just five seconds. And it goes on for six minutes!

There's a one hour (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aTgINExt2w&mode=related&search=) version if you really want to. :)
Oh, that's gold.

[Michael P]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYYCFO7XfKU

[Hybrid2]

Kittens!!

http://shadowdane.shackspace.com/cats.htm

[the4thpip]

http://planetkaren.girl-wonder.org/istrip_files/strips/20061020.jpg

:D

[Michael P]

BACK FROM YET ANOTHER GLOBETROTTING ADVENTURE, INDIANA JONES CHECKS HIS MAIL AND DISCOVERS THAT HIS BID FOR TENURE HAS BEEN DENIED. (http://mcsweeneys.net/2006/10/10bryan.html)

[Michael P]

Never mind.

[Grazzt]

That reminded me of why God never got tenure. (http://www.ac.wwu.edu/~physclub/humor/god.html)

[Kyuubi]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v333/overt/1162081479058.gif

[Cam63]

I like very much.

[Grazzt]

Okay, we all know Archie isn't very funny.

But, what if we cut out the dialogue and inserted our own? The results are Improved Archie (http://community.livejournal.com/improved_archie/), and they are hilarious.

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c24/improvedarchie/3djug-teh_no.jpg

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c24/improvedarchie/archiecoach-zorbathut.jpg

[Michael P]

Here, Rusty! Here, boy! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CY5PMT-_rLg)

[Grazzt]

A funny anecdote I read about Sylvia Plath: when her and a friend (I believe it was Anne Sexton) went out drinking, they would park illegally in a loading zone. Their reasoning was that they were going out to get loaded, so it was perfectly all right to use the loading zone.

[Michael P]

No climbing the Reichstag dressed as Spider-Man. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:No_climbing_the_Reichstag_dressed_as_Spi der-Man)

[Camron Amaya]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4z6wiryYGq8

[diana_fan]

Here's a joke that Big-Ten football fans of the 70's and 80's will find funny, though probably no one else.

Re: Bo Schembechler's death last Friday ... "He passed."

[Sally Sensational]

I'm coming at 60%, a well-adjusted Gay Man! Woo-Hoo!

I rated 36% Gay. Pretty accurate.

"You're a straight-laced girlie girl with just a hint of your butch side popping out!"

[Camron Amaya]

apperantly im 26% gay and i need to loosen up cuz women like men with a soft edge these days

:o

[Michael P]

Behold: ASCII Cows. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Bad_Jokes_and_Other_Deleted_Nonsense/ASCII_cows)

[David Bedlam]

Steamy! Really steamy! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SCJLlSf21Y)

[The Xenos]

Funniest pic I've seen in a while.

http://img136.imageshack.us/img136/8485/ghostbustersvsjesus0407sa3.jpg

And if you are a Christian and offened by that image... forgive me.

(With a nod to Bill Hicks on that last comment.)

[Michael P]

http://img237.imageshack.us/img237/9928/inkblotae5fn5.jpg

[Michael P]

http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/3882/bearcavalryfo4.jpg

[Hybrid2]

http://forums.comicbookresources.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=30883&stc=1&d=1166296072
0662.gif






GHaaa.why is it so small?

[The Xenos]

GHaaa.why is it so small?

That's what she said. Zing.

[David Bedlam]

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c394/DavidBedlam/IntDump.jpg

[the4thpip]

http://www.spiegel.de/img/0,1020,760267,00.jpg

[David Bedlam]

If this isn't the cutest Final Fantasy VII thing ever, I'll eat my hat! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrZQIayUnbA)

[The Xenos]

I knew there was a reason I stopped liking Final Fantasy and Final Fantasy fans.... thanks for reminding me.

Oh and Tifa dies. Spoilers.

Wait.. is was Tifa right?

[Michael P]

I knew there was a reason I stopped liking Final Fantasy and Final Fantasy fans.... thanks for reminding me.

Oh and Tifa dies. Spoilers.

Wait.. is was Tifa right?

Aeris.

10

[The Xenos]

Snape kills Aries. Chapter 6, page 316.

Ha ha. I spoiled it for you.

Speaking of Harry Potter spoilers, last week's Simpsons was awesome:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=8hgvbIPkjbE

[The Xenos]

52 meets that Japano-manga stuff:

http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/6256/5219113382888zd4.jpg

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/2677/52nyorown61721qu0.png

[Michael P]

http://img176.imageshack.us/img176/3966/billstickerswc0.jpg

[thespianphryne]

...Or are you just happy to see me (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CecChZS7BXs):

[Tages]

An American fellow has just gotten into an elevator and an English gent runs up yelling "Wait, hold the lift!" So, before the door closes, the American holds out his arm and stops it from closing.

"Thank you," the Englishman says.

The American smiles. "You're welcome," he replies. "But with all due respect, my country invented the machine, and it's called an 'elevator.'"

The Englishman smirks and says "With all due respect, my country invented the language, and it's called a 'lift.'"

[Papergirl]

This (http://chrisdolley.livejournal.com/65951.html) made me giggle.

~Bev

[David Bedlam]

Katrina: The Gathering (http://waterthread.org/images/ktg/)

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

One more debt this world owes Bill Watterson:

http://www.badgopher.com/cnh-fullset/

[thespianphryne]

This for all the psych geeks out there.

This is your brain on Britney (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBrzbVbkcRI)

stolen from mindhacks.com (http://www.mindhacks.com)

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

But it's worth it the more you go along:


http://www.stereolaffs.com/chainfights.php


Just click on 'play clip' under the "The Music Scholar" track listing.

[David Bedlam]

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c394/DavidBedlam/20070312cap.png

[Flamebird]

SOO, a Rabbit goes into a whorehouse and whips out a hundred dollar bill.

The Hooker looks him up and down and says:

"I'm sorry, but I've just washed my thing and I can't do a Hare with it" :D







ok, these are the jokes folks. I know you're out there, i can see the tea spittle.:rolleyes:

[Flamebird]

http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o103/flamebird_2006/funnysign.jpg

[Flamebird]

http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o103/flamebird_2006/trailerparkliving.jpg

[melike2]

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c394/DavidBedlam/20070312cap.png

thats great! Wheres it from?

[melike2]

Ok at the risk of being self promoting i do a comic strip which parodies Marvel, ive got over 450 strips there so i hope you'd find SOMETHING which you find funny..

Ive started up a thing with Deadpoll where hes a late night talk show host and diff characters from comics appear on the show to promote their latest project - ive onlyd one two of these so far - heres the first..posted cos it got a good response and cos of your deadpool connections (although i unfortunately havent read any of those - they need to put out some trades dammit and also, ok , ok, i cant write deadpool - so sue me!)

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a157/melike/yo461.gif

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a157/melike/yo464lores.gif

[David Bedlam]

thats great! Wheres it from?

www.shortpacked.com

[Alex L]

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e238/mrtemp797/Funny/122006/1290175482iwishiknewhowcv3.jpg

[Michael P]

Because a thing that should not have nunchuks + nunchuks = comedy:

http://wiki.rpg.net/images/5/54/MPost3400-1poster-MonsterPC.jpg

[melike2]

www.shortpacked.com

i read shortpacked when i can and i didnt even realise- thanks.

[Tobias March]

Glorious. People are making Perry Bible films on youtube

Corn (http://youtube.com/watch?v=ffkDB4awAu4)

Angry Hammer (http://youtube.com/watch?v=lTIQIUJG4dM)

[Night Swordsman]

A friend of mine sent me this joke,and i apologize if it has already been said on this thread,but i wanted to share and i wasn't going to read 41 pages of posts to verify:


How do you capture a unique rabbit?

Unique up on him.


How do you capture a tame rabbit?

Tame way. Unique up on him.

[The Mutt]

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u51/The_Mutt_pics/athor1.jpg

[Christopher Cross Is God]

Here's a text message my wife sent me a couple weeks ago because she was kind of angry at me:

Don't text me, you aren't worth my time.
You hoover quality cocksucking slime.

[Tobias March]

Ever wonder what syphilis would look like if it was a cuddily toy?

Well wonder (http://www.giantmicrobes.com/) no more!

Don't you just wanna get one of these for a loved one ;)

[The Xenos]

Awesome! I got the clap!
http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/clap.html
http://img245.imageshack.us/img245/2090/giantmicrobescomclapin7.jpg

I also got the black death.
http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/blackdeath.html
"The plague, boy! Yersinia pestis! You're riddled with it! I bet your lymph nodes are as big as cats!"

and sleeping sickness was adorable
http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/sleepingsickness.html

Holy crap. I have to buy Red Tide.
http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/redtide.html

I had a job counting those damn things. Ok, that's the not the exact species, but I was counting its northern cousin Alexandrium fundyense.
http://www.whoi.edu/mr/pr.do?id=11987
http://www.whoi.edu/mr/pr/image.do?id=23374&aid=11987

[TCJohnson]

Ok at the risk of being self promoting i do a comic strip which parodies Marvel, ive got over 450 strips there so i hope you'd find SOMETHING which you find funny..

Ive started up a thing with Deadpoll where hes a late night talk show host and diff characters from comics appear on the show to promote their latest project - ive onlyd one two of these so far - heres the first..posted cos it got a good response and cos of your deadpool connections (although i unfortunately havent read any of those - they need to put out some trades dammit and also, ok , ok, i cant write deadpool - so sue me!)


Just wanted to say I really like those!

[Cam63]

Here's a text message my wife sent me a couple weeks ago because she was kind of angry at me:

Don't text me, you aren't worth my time.
You hoover quality cocksucking slime.

I bet the " making up " sex was interesting.

[Cam63]

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u51/The_Mutt_pics/athor1.jpg

That Baldar deserves a mead after that.

[Gail Simone]

Ok at the risk of being self promoting i do a comic strip which parodies Marvel, ive got over 450 strips there so i hope you'd find SOMETHING which you find funny..

Ive started up a thing with Deadpoll where hes a late night talk show host and diff characters from comics appear on the show to promote their latest project - ive onlyd one two of these so far - heres the first..posted cos it got a good response and cos of your deadpool connections (although i unfortunately havent read any of those - they need to put out some trades dammit and also, ok , ok, i cant write deadpool - so sue me!)

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a157/melike/yo461.gif

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a157/melike/yo464lores.gif


I like these! I disagree about some of the opinions but they're funny strips and drawn well, too!

Gail

[Hybrid2]

300 PG version trailer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNqiSkd1M6k

[The Xenos]

http://img106.imageshack.us/img106/2905/mtonystarksc2.gif

Or, if you like siezures..
http://img106.imageshack.us/img106/7307/mtonystarkfastuv9.gif

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

Or Office Space by Garth Ennis? You be the judge:

http://www.adultswim.com/games/fiveMinutes/index.html

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

Conan smash!:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_arrIOBcXyg

[Michael P]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v172/OptimalMegatron/RT_Comic_Ep102_Dine.jpg

[The Xenos]

[pimpin his own webcomic]
In a similar vein...
http://www.sketchedoutlife.com/index.php?strip_id=28

[/pimpin his own webcomic]

[Hurricane]

Go to www.google.com, click on "Maps" and get directions from New York, Ny to Paris, France. Read it and laugh.

[David Bedlam]

It's Charlie the Unicorn! (http://youtube.com/watch?v=Q5im0Ssyyus)

The last line had me in stiches! Fitting, really......

[Flamebird]

Go to www.google.com, click on "Maps" and get directions from New York, Ny to Paris, France. Read it and laugh.

Step 23. Swim across the Atlantic Ocean. 3462 miles.

HAH!

But hey, the whole trip take less than a month.

Must be an Olympic swimmer. :D

[The Mutt]

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u51/The_Mutt_pics/Punishersire.jpg

[The Xenos]

Go to www.google.com, click on "Maps" and get directions from New York, Ny to Paris, France. Read it and laugh.

New meaning to take a long walk off a short pier. Or take a long swim off of Long Warf. I've been there. Make sure you avoid the harbor cruise ships. The Duck Boats shouldn't be in that area, but you should always keep an eye out for them.

[mgs]

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u51/The_Mutt_pics/Punishersire.jpg

haha!! LOL!! :D Much better than what was originally there.

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

Patton Oswalt's Alvin & The Chipmunks bit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R69_mZj6YWo

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

And the Robert Evans bit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_EUieIzLQk

[dragonbat]

Told to me by a guest at lunch yesterday: Rabbi Cary A. Friedman, author of Wisdom from the Bat-Cave was once employed as a driver for the rosh yeshiva (dean) of a Yeshiva (Orthodox Jewish institute of higher learning*). At this yeshiva, like many others, it was common to address the rosh yeshiva in the third person as a mark of honor and respect. "Would the rosh yeshiva care for a cup of coffee? How might I assist the rosh yeshiva, today?"

Now, considering that most yeshiva students (and lecturers, and especially rosh yeshivas!) are generally assumed to be completely immersed in the Holy Books, Rabbi Friedman kept his comic book addiction a guilty secret. He simply let it be known that he was unavailable as a driver on Wednesdays due to a prior commitment (picking up his Batman fix). All went well, until one Wednesday, when he received a call from the yeshiva that the rosh yeshiva needed a driver and there was nobody else available...

So, Rabbi Friedman (I'm honestly not sure whether he was a rabbi or student at the time) went to pick up the rosh yeshiva, all the while trying to figure out how to get his comics. Finally, he told him that he had to make a quick stop on the way back from the appointment. The rosh yeshiva, curious, asked the nature of the stop. Rabbi Friedman tried to say that it was "just an errand--nothing important--it'll only take a minute", but the rosh yeshiva insisted on full disclosure. Finally, embarrassed, Rabbi Friedman admitted that he was very much into Batman and just needed to buy the comic books. The rosh yeshiva announced that he'd walk into the comic shop with Rabbi Friedman.

So, they walked in together, Rabbi Friedman wearing 'business casual' attire and a yarmulka, and the rosh yeshiva in the 'traditional' black suit and hat, etc...

The owner of the comic shop eyed the two and shouted... to the ROSH YESHIVA, "MOISH! Where've you been? I've been holding your stack for you for ages!!!!"


Back in the car, Rabbi Friedman turned to the rosh yeshiva and said, "You know, I don't think I can address you in the third person anymore..."










*While it's my understanding that the term 'yeshiva' can be applied to schools of different levels of religious observance, in this case I'm referring to what some people would call an 'ultra'-Orthodox: men's-only seminary; black hats, black suits, white shirts.

[Typo Lad]

That's a truely awesome story.

[The Mutt]

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u51/The_Mutt_pics/JimmysSecretLove.jpg

[Hurricane]

http://www.dumbphotos.com/images/Products/dirty-underwear.jpg

[Kyuubi]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20070423.gif[/URL]

[Hurricane]

Dan Whitney:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VROn7ZvVoW8

This is a video of Larry the Cable Guy before he was a redneck.

[The Mutt]

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u51/The_Mutt_pics/GLbigone.jpg

[Typo Lad]

I liked the Spidey one on comm. The GL one is too childish.

[The Mutt]

Oh, I think it's just childish enough.
:D

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u51/The_Mutt_pics/choke_office_space.jpg

[Tobias March]

Will It Blend? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l69Vi5IDc0g&mode=related&search=)

[The Xenos]

Will It Blend? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l69Vi5IDc0g&mode=related&search=)

Nice! A friend of mine was telling me about these. Namely the iPod one. Bwaa haa haa! The 'diamond' one is cool too.

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

Mike & The Bots take on driving safety!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Naix-f6KSIg

[BnL]

This one never fails to make me laugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXyajC9bwVc

[Matt Doc Martin]

http://bertc.com/uselessCat.htm

[BnL]

http://bertc.com/uselessCat.htm

Aww, that's adorable.

[The Xenos]

And this is shocking:

http://shockingcats.ytmnd.com/

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

http://menciaishomer.ytmnd.com/

[Michael P]

http://img159.imageshack.us/img159/8043/nightwingannual0236wo2.jpg

[Cam63]

I guess that takes Joker off the hook.

[Michael P]

Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters Runs Into A Little Snag In The Accreditation Process. (http://mariness.livejournal.com/494295.html)

[Tobias March]

Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters Runs Into A Little Snag In The Accreditation Process. (http://mariness.livejournal.com/494295.html)

Yoinked :D

Excellent stuff.

[Tobias March]

For the Die Hard fans out there (http://youtube.com/watch?v=OTyw6cq86kY)

[TomStillwell]

Guys, I'm down and need a laugh today. Help a brother out?

[Sarah Beach]

Guys, I'm down and need a laugh today. Help a brother out?

The door is OVER THERE! ----->>

:D

How many TV newscasters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?





Ten

1 to do it.
4 to offer commentary on the event.
2 to debate the usefulness of the event.
2 to get on-the-street reactions to the event.
1 to do a recap of the event.

[Typo Lad]

How many comic fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They're waiting for the old lightbulb to come back.

[Flamebird]

Guys, I'm down and need a laugh today. Help a brother out?

I'd love to help, but having met me; you KNOW i'm just not funny.

I could post some cute animal pics if that would help. ;)

[LomiMonet]

Ok..Ok ..stop me if you've heard this one...

How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Two, but they have to be reeeeaaalyyy small.

Har!

[The Xenos]

Guys, I'm down and need a laugh today. Help a brother out?

I dunno about laugh, but this anime opening is too damn cute and sugary.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjEFUY7unks

Even Mega Man is a fan:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjC5V-gXWA4

Also this ad for it is just too weird
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yZT8uElQCk

[Shisho]

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u77/Penemue269/SoWrong.jpg

[LomiMonet]

What's Jesus doing with Darth Maul and the twink?

[Shisho]

What's Jesus doing with Darth Maul and the twink?

You know, when I first saw this, I thought it was so very funny. Now I'm thinking it's just a little creepy. Has a kind of "join our cult and drink kool-aid!" feel to it, you know?

[LomiMonet]

"Do you Darth Maul take this twink to be your lawful wedded boitoi...."

You may now er.....kiss the...er..Jedi.

[Gail Simone]

Ok..Ok ..stop me if you've heard this one...

How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Two, but they have to be reeeeaaalyyy small.

Har!



Okay, this cracked me up!

Gail

[Matt Doc Martin]

Gail. You spelled cancelled wrong according to Rick Olney.

If that isn't funny, I do not know what is.

[Darediva]

This is one Kathryn told me about:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-ksuOaI61g

Sorry if it's been mentioned here before, but it makes me laugh.

[TomStillwell]

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u77/Penemue269/SoWrong.jpg

What the holy hell is that? Gay Star Wars manga?

Is there a Ric Olie gay Star Wars manga action figure yet?

Watch as Ric gives Anakin is first lesson...in love.

[Rob Allen]

http://jesuschristscoolblog.blogspot.com/

About Me
Jesus H. Christ
They call me "Son of God," but that's kind of ostentatious, isn't it? I like hockey, collecting ceramic owls, "hanging out," and playing with Karen, my lamb.

[The Mutt]

http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?p=4809436#post4809436

[Michael P]

I really shouldn't laugh... (http://www.crushyiffdestroy.com/gallery/index.php?g=3&image_id=1120238815)

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

http://www.comics.org/coverview.lasso?id=11808&zoom=4

[Tommy]

http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/7647/picture013bh8ph8.th.jpg (http://img508.imageshack.us/my.php?image=picture013bh8ph8.jpg)

[Matt Doc Martin]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqKhvthxvSo&mode=related&search=

[Shisho]

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u77/Penemue269/070415.jpg

[Alex L]

http://ic3.deviantart.com/fs6/i/2005/069/2/4/Malaise_de_L__Orange_by_weem.jpg

[Michael P]

What did Kenny G say when he got off the elevator?

"Man, that place rocks!"

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

What was the slogan of the world's first veterinarian/taxidermist?

"Either way, you get your dog back."

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

Mike & The Bots now take on a morose small town reverend, armed to the teeth in their holy mission only with the blackest of black humor. Enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvhskXf_5XU

[Michael P]

Colbert + Whose Line = Funny. (http://www.showstash.com/watch.php?show=Whose-Line-Is-It-Anyway&x=3885)

[Matt Doc Martin]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=V4nSmLgq1eE

So wrong....so funny.

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

Tom Scharpling & Jon Wurster on "Superwrong Supergroups":

http://harpmagazine.com/articles/detail.cfm?article_id=4449

[Aggie]

this is probably the worst joke i know...but god help me, it cracks me up...

what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes??



nothing, she's already been told twice.


<highlight text for punch-line>

[Thnikkaman]

Oh, yeah, that's classy. :rolleyes:

[Michael P]

I missed the part where we were supposed to be classy.

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

http://www.justsayah.com/images/PunisherSK.jpg

[Michael P]

http://img166.imageshack.us/img166/8307/phoenixkennyhq3.jpg

[the4thpip]

Gotta love the sexist Silver Age. That is an amazing progression right there:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v646/bobmitchell/JQ%20pics/funny%20panels/evenawoman.jpg

[Stressfactor]

I don't know if anyone else has seen these but I stumbled across this absolutely darling series of videos about a pair of Scottie Dogs. The series is under Scottie Tails (you have to check out the female, Kenzie, trying to get a date with Barney, the First Dog) and this one is one of my favorites. You'll laugh, then you will explode from the cuteness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHyJH1yGKZY

[David Bedlam]

Nemi is a Norwegan goth comic that gets posted in Metro, which is a newspaper that gets handed out free on British train stations. Here are a few examples.

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c394/DavidBedlam/nemi_1886_600x194.gif

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c394/DavidBedlam/nemi_1892_600x194.gif

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c394/DavidBedlam/nemi_1905_600x194.gif

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c394/DavidBedlam/nemi_1910_600x194.gif

Kinda remind me of Planet Karen.

[Typo Lad]

That is the awesomesauce.

[Cam63]

Before you judge someone, take a walk in his shoes.

After that, it doesn't matter 'cause you're miles away and you've got the fucker's shoes.

[Cam63]

My grandad used to say, " Fight fire with fire. "

That's probably why he was arrested and kicked out of the fire brigade.

[Cam63]

Do you know why animal testing is wrong ?

They get all nervous, have trouble understanding questions asked by humans and most can't hold a pen.

[Solaris]

Two women in their 80's are standing outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it starts raining. The first woman pulls a condom out of her pocket, opens it up, snips off the end, puts her cigarette through it, and continues smoking.

"What's that?" the second woman asks admiringly.

"A condom."

"Where'd you get it?"

"Oh, you can get 'em at any drugstore."

The next day, woman number two resolves to buy some condoms, so that she too can smoke in the rain. She hobbles up to the counter of the nearest drugstore.

"May I help you?" asks the pharmacist.

"Yes---I'm looking for condoms," the octagenarian replies.

The pharmacist does a double-take, blinks, then says, "Well ma'am, we have many different types---what kind are you looking for?"

"It doesn't matter," she replies, "so long as it's big enough to fit a Camel."

The pharmacist faints.

[Cam63]

*Applauds*

[Aggie]

*joins cam in applause*...i love "old lady buys condom" jokes...:D

[Cam63]

A nursing home attendant is doing his rounds when he notices one of the residents leaning to one side in her chair.

He rushes over and gently pulls her back to the upright position and continues on his way.

A few minutes later he sees her leaning sideways in her chair again.

He rushes over and again pushes her back upright.

Later that day her daughter arrives for a visit and to see how she's settling in.

" So how's things going, Mum ? "

" Hmm... OK, I guess. "

" Are you been treated well ? "

" Yes. "

" What about the food ? "

" The food is OK. "

" What about your bed ? Are you comfortable enough ? "

" It's not as nice as my old bed, but it's OK too. "

" Do you have any complaints ? "

" Well... There's only one thing... "

" What is it, Mum ? "

" The buggers won't let me fart. "

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c394/DavidBedlam/nemi_1905_600x194.gif

I especially like this one.

[Solaris]

A nursing home attendant is doing his rounds when he notices one of the residents leaning to one side in her chair.

He rushes over and gently pulls her back to the upright position and continues on his way.

A few minutes later he sees her leaning sideways in her chair again.

He rushes over and again pushes her back upright.

Later that day her daughter arrives for a visit and to see how she's settling in.

" So how's things going, Mum ? "

" Hmm... OK, I guess. "

" Are you been treated well ? "

" Yes. "

" What about the food ? "

" The food is OK. "

" What about your bed ? Are you comfortable enough ? "

" It's not as nice as my old bed, but it's OK too. "

" Do you have any complaints ? "

" Well... There's only one thing... "

" What is it, Mum ? "

" The buggers won't let me fart. "


*chortles*

:D

Didn't see that one coming at all.

[Solaris]

Why did the Chicken cross the road?

To prove to the (O)Possum that it could be done.

ba-dum-bum! ching!

[Michael P]

http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/906/idhostesscrisisba6.jpg

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

http://www.seanbaby.com/hostess/preacher1.htm

[Michael P]

Cock-a-doodle-doo! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lNfBZTz2xQ)

Notice: Link does not contain pictures of cock. Of any variety.

[Kyuubi]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20070706.gif

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

http://www.justsayah.com/images/MegaSK_12.jpg

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

Harley Quinn, following in the late George C. Scott's footsteps:

http://www.gothampublicworks.com/images/gallery/movies/harley.avi

[Solaris]

http://www.hanamoira.com/Chris/sinestrofart.jpg


(By the way, this is an awesome pic.)

[Night Swordsman]

A duck walks into a convenience store and walks up the counter. The duck asks, "Got any grapes?" "No," said the puzzled shopkeeper. The duck smiles and walks out the door. A little while later the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?" The shopkeeper replies, "No! Like I already told you 15 minutes ago, I don't have any grapes!" The duck smiles and walks out. A little while later the duck returns and again asks "Got any grapes?" The irate shopkeeper yells, "No! We didn't have any, we don't have any, and were not going to have any. If you come back in here again I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!" The duck smiles and walks out. Later the duck returns and asks the shopkeeper "Got any nails?" The clerk says "NO!" The duck replies, "Good! Got any grapes?"

[Shisho]

A duck walks into a convenience store and walks up the counter. The duck asks, "Got any grapes?" "No," said the puzzled shopkeeper. The duck smiles and walks out the door. A little while later the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?" The shopkeeper replies, "No! Like I already told you 15 minutes ago, I don't have any grapes!" The duck smiles and walks out. A little while later the duck returns and again asks "Got any grapes?" The irate shopkeeper yells, "No! We didn't have any, we don't have any, and were not going to have any. If you come back in here again I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!" The duck smiles and walks out. Later the duck returns and asks the shopkeeper "Got any nails?" The clerk says "NO!" The duck replies, "Good! Got any grapes?"

God help me, but as awful as that joke was, I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes.

[Rik Levins]

The duck replies, "Good! Got any grapes?"

Put 'em on my bill.

[the4thpip]

http://vash.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Pics/pavsch.jpg

[shaxberd]

A bloke walks into a pub looking all pale and shocked like. The barman asks what's wrong, and the guy says he's just met with God on the road in. Curious, the barman asks what God looked like, and the guy says he looked like a Scottish sheepherder. "What's so shocking about that?" asks the barkeep, thinking that God's supposed to be a shepherd, and people are supposed to be his flock, right? And the guy answers, "It's not the shepherd part that bothers me. It's the Scottish part. After all, you know what they say about Scotsmen and sheep."