Marvel story game

[Jim85]

Rules: In this game you type the next story that comes to mind

Somewhere in New York City Peter Parker is walking to the shopping mall with his girlefriend MJ while the to love birds are walking togerther Peter's spider-sense begins to tingle.

Peter:
mmmmm my spider-sense is tingling

Peter Parker begins to here a women crying for help.

women:
Heeellllp SOMEBODY SAAAVVVEE MMMMEEEE!!!

Peter:
This look's like a job for Spider-man

MJ:
go get them tiger

[RolandJP]

A Gamestop store is being robbed by a new villian called "the Dude." Every pronoun spoken by this slacker baddie is the word, "Dude" An attractive young woman is shrieking for help.

Peter goes into the mall's bathroom to change, when a group of teens enter.

The teens see the boots of his costume. One of the teens is about to kick in the stall door.

Peter:
Oy Vey

[Britannic]

Are you Jeph Loeb looking for some new stories? :evilsmile:

[Soundrave]

Peter tries to escape into the next stall, only to find that it's occupied by an amorous Senator Larry Craig (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Craig).

Larry Craig: Hey, Tiger.

Peter: This is another fine mess I've gotten myself into. Curse that Parker luck.

[Xistel]

Since Parker isn't happy with his luck he cuts a deal with Mephisto.

[Qoorl]

And thus Mephisto appears in a puff of creamy pink smoke.

Mephisto: "Ah, Mr. Parker. I've been expecting you to call for my aid. What's amatter grandma dying? Feelin guilty because you did a lot of stupid stuff that got people hurt? That's simply terrible, but of course... Being a force of cosmic aid, I can help you out. For a small price."

SM: "What? Oh brother... look I'm totally screwed today, I come in, change clothes, kids show up, I get... y'know what. It doesn't matter what the price is. Do me up."

Mephisto smiles, eyes gleaming with flame, "With Pleasure,"

And then....

[Ari Gold]

Peter is shocked to find Mephisto has turned him into a woman . . .

The least of his/her problems is that she is still in the Men's restroom . . . but at least it got Sen. Craig off SM's back . . .

After putting on the costume Peter . . . runs back to the Gamestop to take on the Dude.

[Qoorl]

The Dude Spins around, before Spider-(Wo)man can even make an opening battle quip. Bloodshot eyes squint as he looks the hero up and down.

"Duuude, you're a chick! I thought you were a dude?"

[Jim85]

But I am a dude you've got to belive me I've been turned into a woman by that stupid Mephisto guy

[Ari Gold]

The Dude: "Dude, The Dude knows a dude from a dudette, and dude you're a dudette"

Spider (Wo)Man: "?!?" . . . "ok . . . whatever, put down that Wii console and we can figure this out together"

The Dude: "The Dude can't fight chicks . . . just not dude-like . . . "

Spider (Wo)Man easily dispenses of The Dude leaving him in web for the police to collect . . . walks away wondering how he's gong to explain this, while trying to figure out the female equivalent to Peter . . .

[Jim85]

Meanwhile some where else in the shopping mall MJ contineus her shopping spree untill suddenly she bumps into Ben Grimm A.K.A The Thing.

Ben:
Sorry ma'am diddent see ya here let me help

MJ:
Thank you hey I know you your The Thing of the Fantastic Four wow what are you doing here?

Ben:
bying some doughnuts Johny has eat'em all up that blasted TORCH

MJ:
How's Mr Fantastic doing these days?

[Hulk_Is]

Ben:
"Well, you know ol' stretcho.. er, I mean Mr. Fantastic, is up to his usual. Thinkin' of new ways to show how big his brain is. 'Course it has saved us a couple'a times...

MJ:
Maybe he'll finally come up with a solution to the massive crime waves the country has been experiencing lately. I can think of a few heroes that would appreciate that.

Ben:
Aww, the country's ain't seen nothin' that even that Spider-Man kid couldn't handle.

MJ:
...

Well it's been nice bumping into you M-Mister... Thing?

[ANewHope]

And then the Thing reveals to MJ, his Thing !

MJ .......

But the plot thickens... The Watcher is watching from a distance. Why is this monumental reveal worthy of the Watcher's attention?

[Jim85]

As The Watcher watche's MJ and The Thing Spider-(Wo)man is still haveing problems of his/her own as he/she swings through the city he/she meets Storm of the X-men.

Storm:
Are you Spider-man?

Peter:
Yes I am Spider-man as you can see I ran into some difficalties as you can see

Storm:
Yes I see..........How did this happen?

As Spider-(Wo)man tells Storm about his encounter with Mephisto Strom come's up with an idea that will transform Peter back into a man

Storm:
Yes I belive I know someone who can help you

Peter:
Who?

Storm:
His name is the Beast

[FlintEastwood]

While Peter and Storm are conversing on how to resolve his womanly problems, they are unaware that Luke Cage and Moon Knight are watching from a distance.

Luke: What the hell is she doing over there?! Jessica is supposed to be at home watching our kid!

Moon Knight: Hey, calm down...I'm sure it's just a...wait a sec...why are the X-men here? Don't they know that it's cataclysmic for Mutant and Non-Mutant superheroes to be in the same story together?

The Red Skull turns his monitor off and sits back, an evil grin spreading across his face.

Red Skull: Now those foolish heroes have set the bait...soon Captain America will come, trying to resolve the situation, unknowingly providing me with everything I need to obtain the Cosmic Cube! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Sgt. Preston]

Luke Cage and the New Avengers tail Spider-(Wo)Man and Storm to X-Men Headquarters in San Fran.

Many panels of cult-like smiles and pointless posing ensue.

Northstar turns up for no reason reiterating the "tactical need" for his presence on the X-Men while stressing his homosexuality.

Meanwhile, back at the mall, MJ's shown to walk off with Ben Grimm's phone number after taking a gander at the Thing's "thing".

The Watcher is shown to be laughing diabolically to himself after it's revealed that he photographed Thing's exposure and posted it on the net. In the midst of a cliche villain diatribe, the Watcher reveals that he is actually Uatu's evil cousin....The Voyeur!

[Soundrave]

Back at X-Men Headquarters, Northstar excuses himself to use the restroom. Upon entering the stall, he is shocked to find none other than Senator Larry Craig (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Craig).

Northstar:
What's your game, Craig? Spider-(Wo)Man told us that you were in a New York mall only hours ago -- what are you doing here in San Francisco?

Larry Craig, with a sinister grin on his face, pulls out a partially-charged Cosmic Cube from his trousers . . .

[FlintEastwood]

Senator Larry Craig cackles maniacly, holding the cube in the palm of his hand, while the heroes watch with confusion. A cool, green glow emenates from the cube, surrounding Senator Larry Craig and revealing him to be none other than Victor Von Doom!

Red Skull (spitting coffee onto his monitor): What the $*#&!

Doom: Fools! Gathering together like this will not save you! Prepare to face the wrath of Victor Von Doom!

A shield flies through the air from out of nowhere, smashing into Doom's hand. The cube escapes his clutching grasp and lands at the foot of Captain America.

Captain America:

[Jim85]

Meanwhile back at the mall The Incredible Hulk go's on a rampage untile suddenly he see's MJ and then kidnaps her.

MJ grab's her cell phone and try's to call The Thing.

MJ:
HHHHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPP MMMMEEEE IM BEING KIDNAPED BY THE HULK!!!

Ben:
Did you just say The Hulk dont worry I'll save. This look's like the job for The Thing

[Hulk_Is]

As our orange-heud rocky hero quickly tramples off in a hurry to save one red haired damsel in distress from an all too angry green skinned jade gaint... Storm introduces Spider-(Wo)Man to a blue-furred Beast.

Beast:
"Ahh, who might the awkward young lady be with you Storm--a new recriut... Mwwuha-ha-ha-ha!"

Storm:
"Don't mind Dr.McCoy Spider-Man, he's always nervous... or curious around anyone new."

Beast:
"Oh my Stars-and-G..."

Spider-(Wo)Man:
"Garters? Think I've heard you utter that phrase on the news. You may need some new material. I'm just the guy to help you find some. Well... the gal to help you... find some new material. Not anything else... I'm a... lady."

[Alan2099]

"There's far too many subplots going on here," Deadpool says as he flipped though his comic.

"Fool! What are you doing!?! I am paying you handsomely to ensure that the Cosmic Cube falls into my hands!" The Red Skull shrieked at his newest freelance assassin.

"Like you could do anything handsomely," Deadpool muttered. "Yeah, just give me an minute. Finishing the latest X-men issue. I bet Constrictor five bucks that next issue's going to reveal that Wolverine and multiple Man have secretly been the same guy all along!"

"WHAT!?!" Red Skull shriek and fired a pistol right through the issue Deadpool was reading.

"Fine fine," issues no where near mint now. How I am going to use my bagged and boarded collection to pay for my illegitimate child's college now?" And with that Deadpool teleported away to retrieve the cosmic cube.

[Hulk_Is]

Deadpool:
"That Red Skull really makes me beet red. With the price of comic books these days--one must pinch pennies in the most scrupulous of fashion. As opposed to an unscrupulous fashion--like one beet red boss of mine!!!"

Deadpool (shouting to self):
"Anywhoo...Whoah! Now why don'tcha take a look at that!

Deadpool (self responding):
"What am I looking at exactly--besides todays paper."

Deadpool (reading aloud to self):
"See Things Fantastic Thing! See page...

Deapool (in horror):
...

Deapool (with pleasure):
... ... ...

[Jim85]

Back at the X-men headquarters Spider-(Wo)man tell's the Beast the whol story on how he manged to turn himself into a woman and his encounter with Mephisto and then Dr McCoy begins to run some test's on Spider-(Wo)man.

Dr McCoy:
Mmmmmm.........mmmmmm.....ah ha

Spider-(Wo)man:
What what is it.....What have you discoverd

Dr McCoy:
I'll be right back

Spider-(Wo)man:
What!.......Hey wait a min...

The Beast run's into his lab.

Spider-(Wo)man:
Is he allways like that?

Storm:
Yes

2 hour's later

Dr McCoy:
I've done it be hold my latest invention the body morpher. Do not worry Spider-(Wo)man this machine will transform you back to normal please step inside

Spider-(Wo)man:
OK

As Spider-(Wo)man enter's the machine the Beast turn's on the power and as the machine go's wild something is starting to go wrong. The Beast machine go's haywire and instead of turning Spider-(Wo)man into a man he turns him into a Man-spider

[Blind pugh]

Peter:I'm a man-spider?
Peter:Deja vu

*Knock at the door*
*Peter Scuttles over to answer it*

Peter:Kirk Langstrom?
Peter:What are you doing here?

Kirk:I heard everything, only one of us can do this gimmick.
Kirk:I'm suing you!

[Ari Gold]

Then Captain Britain heard what was hapenning and called in to see if there was anyway the MI:13 could help.

Also, the Guardians of the Galaxy detected a tear in space that was caused by Mephisto's altering of reality, so they showed up on the scene.

With Luke Cage now involved, the Heroes for Hire were notified, and the Immortal Iron Fist brought along his Immortal Weapon companions.

Then Morph popped in with the currently displaced Exiles to fix the timestream.

[Sgt. Preston]

Back at X-Men headquarters the battle continues for the Cosmic Cube in a small restroom on the main floor.

At the feet of Captain America lies the Cube. For some reason Cap's feet look disturbingly deformed. It is then that the faithful reader notices that this installment has been penciled by none other than.....Rob Liefeld!

Before Doctor Doom or Cap can react Northstar has secured the Cube and dashes out to seek help from his fellow X-Men only to receive a flying side kick in the face from.......wait for it........SHATTERSTAR!!!

*insert splash page of Shatterstar and Northstar flexing, teeth gnashed, completely disproportionate*

[Hulk_Is]

Deadpool (noticing a commotion via earpiece):
...

(Ahem!) Deadpool (noticing a commotion...):
"C-C-Com-m-ming..."

Deadpool (tosses newspaper):
"Well... didn't see what was so fantastic about the Thing's Thing--but I know one thing--there is something happening in the X-Man...--shing! Well... it's not so much a Man-shing anymore--but if I get my hands on the Cosmic Cube--I may just wish them one!"

Deep inside of X-Men headquaters...

Shatterstar:
"Looks like I've just lived up to my namesake--I've just shattered a star! And for my effort I have been rewarded with the Cosmic Cube"

Dr. Doom:
"Hold boy--! Do not think anything rash! Just give me the Cube."

Captain America (quickly recovering from the sight of his severely deformed feet):
BANG! (fires sidearm)

[Soundrave]

Meanwhile, on a desolate ranch in Ada County, Idaho . . .

A tall, cloaked figure walks into a dilapidated horse barn.

Mephisto:
All goes according to plan, my mortal pawn.

Senator Larry Craig: (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Craig)
What do you mean, Lord Mephsito?

With a twist of his wrist, Mephisto opens up a transtemporal portal -- providing both figures with a view of what transpired in the bathroom stall at the X-Headquarters in San Francisco moments ago . . .

Senator Larry Craig:
That . . . that was Dr. Doom! Using the Cosmic Cube to pose as me! Do you know what this means?!

Mephisto:
Of course, you insignificant clod. For I was the one who orchestrated this chain of events. You now have plausible deniability and can blame all of the sexual misconduct charges brought against you on Victor Von Doom. As far as anyone knows, it was Doom who was arrested at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport on suspicion of lewd conduct in June 2007. It was a mere case of mistaken identity that led to your political downfall.

Senator Larry Craig:
Thank you, Lord Mephisto. Thank you!

Mephisto:
Get off of your knees, you pathetic whelp, and book a flight to Washington, D.C. It’s time to orchestrate the political comeback of Senator Larry Craig. Once you regain your Senate seat, then the next phase of our excruciatingly elaborate plan can begin! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Senator Larry Craig:
Tee, hee, hee!

Mephisto:
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Hulk_Is]

MJ:
"AHHHHHHHHHHH---"

Hulk:
"Why girl keep screaming? Hulk just save you from uglee rock man?"

MJ:
"What? ...we're not in the air anymore... good."

Hulk:
"Hulk take girl far away from uglee rock man. Hulk pr'tek you now!"

MJ:
"Protect me from... Wait. Oh no, er, Hulk? That rock-y man wasn't trying to hurt me--he was uh... trying to... help me find my husband."

[Jim85]

Hulk:
Girl have husband?

MJ:
urm......yeah kinda but dont get angry

Hulk:
RRROOOOOUUUGGGGHHH..........HULK SMASH STUPID HUSBAND!!

MJ:
Hey what did I just say

The Thing manages to cach up with MJ and The Hulk.

Ben:
Dont worry miss I'll save you!

Hulk:
HULK SMASH STUPID ORANGE ROCK MAN!!

The Hulk charges towards The Thing and give's him an incredible punch. And then The Thing went flying straight into the wall.

Ben:
OWE man thats gonna hurt tomorrow

The Thing get's up and resumes fighting against The Incredible Hulk

[Sgt. Preston]

Back at X-Men Headquarters.....

A gunshot heard in a hallway alerts the bulk of the X-Men to the commotion occuring between Dr. Doom, Shatterstar and Captain America.

Northstar lays unconscious. Shatterstar is surprised to find a hole blown through his chest by the smoking gun of Captain America. He collapses to the ground apparently dead.

Doctor Doom to Captain America
Grab the Cube you fool! Put in one of your infinite pouches and let us flee with our feet off panel!

Just as dozens of X-Men round the hallway, Doctor Doom and Captain America are seen to disappear through a dimensional gateway.

Cyclops
Emma, gather the remaining X-Men. Our target is Captain America for the murder of Shatterstar. He is apparently working with Doctor Doom.
And somebody find Senator Craig! He wandered off to use our bathroom awhile ago and no one has seen him since.

Emma
Finding Captain America shouldn't be a problem darling considering he and his fellow New Avengers are standing at our front door.

[Jim85]

Meanwhile at Beast's lab Man-Spider is going wild and start's to attack Storm and The Beast.

Storm
Dr McCoy look out!

Beast
YIKES!........Thank's Storm I own you one

The Man-Spider begins to weakhovec in Beast's lab weking the furniture and experiments and then all of a sudden he run's towards the wall and smash's straight through it.

Storm
He has escaped we must follow him!

Beast
To the Beastmobile

[Hulk_Is]

Just as the remaining X-Men are about to depart, the Man-Spider smashes through into the deportation zone!

Cyclops:
"What is that?! Emma--close the bay area doors now! I'll try a low pulse spread to keep this thing away from the team. I'll then need you to try and--"

Storm:
"No Scott--Hold your fire! That's Spider-Man!"

Cyclops:
"What should I do--let Spider-Man kill another member on our team? Then we'll have two murdering heroes on our hands!"

Beast:
"Two mudering heroes...? No one is going to die Scott. I have the solution (somewhere)! Get yourself and the team away from here. Storm--buffet Spider-Man with contained winds against the doors! He's going to need a place to escape when I apply this to him.

Beast (thinking to self):
"Then I'll quickly open the doors letting our friend go. Then on to true containment of subject. Letting the New Avengers go to work."