Rachel Grey Week- Broken Hearts in Her Wake

[worstblogever]

Rachel Grey’s Trail of Broken Hearts (and in some cases, balls)-


Sure, she might be more famous for the number of people she’s let dominate her, but let’s be plain… Rachel Grey is a fire-crotched heartbreaker. Since her debut in the Marvel Universe, she’s left a small army of men jilted, wondering why they can’t get their “little Jeff Goldblum in her Jurassic Park”, if you get my meaning. Let’s look at some of her castoff romantic pursuers, mm?


http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/d/d7/Ahab_001.jpg
Ahab (of Earth-811)- The first man to take a shine to Rachel, she was his favorite. He got her some lovely tattoos. And then what does she do? Bails on him, and tries to unwrite his whole reality. Don’t go away mad, Rach… just go away.

http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/0/229/102165-10757-107610-1-uncanny-x-men-annual_super.jpg
Franklin Richards of Earth-811- Dating Rachel Summers (at the time) was what earned this guy the right to eat a blast from a Sentinel. Worse yet, he was hung up enough on Rachel that he sent his astral form to Earth-616, after her, and used his five year old counterpart, there, to rekindle the old flame with his redheaded lover. SOMEONE CALL CHRIS HANSEN!

Nick Damiano- Poor guy invites Rachel home, and the next thing you know, he’s a Selene snack. If there’s something Nick wanted sucked on that night, it wasn’t his actual life force. Thanks a lot, Rachel!

Niles Frobisher- He was forward enough to touch her hinder, and have dirty thoughts about her. Sure, that might sound like he was a jerk, but girlfriend walks around in bondage gear, in his defense. For his trouble, he was rebuffed by being thrown about telekinetically.

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/thumb/2/29/Excalibur_Vol_1_7.jpg/300px-Excalibur_Vol_1_7.jpg
Crotus- One of Rachel’s greatest heartbreaks. Crotus wanted Rachel to be his forever, and he forked over all the money to have a wedding… only to see a certain dino-girl in training pull a “Runaway Bride” and leave him at the altar. Crotus has never been the same since.

[worstblogever]

http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/0/77/261188-5144-alistaire-stuart_large.jpg
Alistaire Stewart- He, for his love of spiked red fetish wear, took a liking to Rachel, and after being ignored by her multiple times… he finally had the good sense to settle for her dull geeky best friend, Kitty Pryde. Sure Kitty was only fifteen, but she still had a better haircut.

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/thumb/8/8c/Famine_II_(Rory_Campbell)_001.jpg/200px-Famine_II_(Rory_Campbell)_001.jpg
Rory Campbell- He arrives on Muir Island, and immediately, Rachel hits it off with him. Then she bails because, wah wah, “I can’t exist in the same reality as Captain Britain.” ) Side Note: This statement gained Brian Braddock more fans than any single event in his creation.) Anyhow, Rachel bails on Rory, who goes on to build a security system that Spoor tricked him into activating on himself, and laser cutting his leg off. From there he ends up crying in his beer in a bar to Apocalypse, who makes him look like the photo above. Which, some might say is better than DATING Rachel, but whatever.

http://th07.deviantart.com/fs40/300W/f/2009/006/7/c/Wallpaper_DO_NOT_FAV_by_NightCrawlerClub.jpg
Nightcrawler- There was a Danger Room training session where she kissed Kurt, but then left more than one reason why Nightcrawler’s balls are blue. Come on, Rachel, finish what you start, and give Kurt a “happy ending” in his quarters, at least!

[worstblogever]

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/7/77/Red_Lotus.jpg
Red Lotus- Rachel decided to start tongue kissing this mystery martial artist while both were being attacked by Selene. This weird moment of vorephilia was followed up with… nothing. Rachel is fickle.

http://img111.imageshack.us/img111/9854/uncanny4693.jpg
Sentinel Squad ONE Pilots- They were watching her in the shower, and she knew. She’d give them something to look at… but would she let ‘em touch? NUH UH! Total tease on the poor military boys who probably ended up gumming up the works of the Sentinels they were piloting.

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/6/66/Korvus_%26_Rachel_Summers_001.jpg
Korvus- Ah, Korvus. The bird guy with a tiny wang and huge sword to overcompensate for it. After Rachel’s torrid love affair in the recesses of the Starjammer with he of the feathered loins… she kept pushing him away and claimed she had moved on. Korvus has yet to really recover, and what’s worse… Rachel’s influence managed to use her influence as his ex to get the Phoenix Force to leave his blade.


So, who got the worst of a romantic kick in the pills from Rachel Grey?

[CJ Lentze]

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/7/77/Red_Lotus.jpg
Red Lotus- Rachel decided to start tongue kissing this mystery martial artist while both were being attacked by Selene. This weird moment of vorephilia was followed up with… nothing. Rachel is fickle.

About Red Lotus... I thought it was cool that Rachel could go on a mission, meet a guy in action, save his life from Selene and share a kiss with him WITHOUT there being any follow-up. Wolverine and Kurt do it all the time. I'd of kissed Lotus if I had been in the same situation.


And WHERE do you get all those Dutch scans? You also posted a scan from a Dutch X-Men translation during Hellfire Club Month.

[worstblogever]

About Red Lotus... I thought it was cool that Rachel could go on a mission, meet a guy in action, save his life from Selene and share a kiss with him WITHOUT there being any follow-up. Wolverine and Kurt do it all the time. I'd of kissed Lotus if I had been in the same situation.


And WHERE do you get all those Dutch scans? You also posted a scan from a Dutch X-Men translation during Hellfire Club Month.

Totally random. The Dutch are the only people on the internet who have heard of Red Lotus, it seems.

[pariah-1972]

I still think she's a closet lesbo and she secretly wants Kitty's bush.

[x_goalkeeper]

I think if any of us had a chance to time travel to fix a broken heart we would take it. Franklin had that chance!

[worstblogever]

I still think she's a closet lesbo and she secretly wants Kitty's bush.

I considered Kitty and Bogan... but the panel of Rachel being jealous of Colossus' return didn't make enough of a case to make her jealous.

Besides, that's more of Kitty breaking Rachel's heart, than the other way around.


And Elias Bogan? I try and not encourage jarrod too much. :wink:

[worstblogever]

I think if any of us had a chance to time travel to fix a broken heart we would take it. Franklin had that chance!

Making your old lover inappropriately touch a five year old kind of outweighs that, for me.

[pariah-1972]

I'm having trouble remembering some of these people like Elias and Red Lotus.

[worstblogever]

I'm having trouble remembering some of these people like Elias and Red Lotus.

It all happened in the classic run of X-Treme X-Men. Oh, and Red Lotus did come back to appear in the epic "Chasing Hellfire" storyline, where Rachel was Emma's "White Warrior Princess".

Shoot, a Rachel Grey: WWP thread should be along from someone, at some point, during this week, right?

[pariah-1972]

It all happened in the classic run of X-Treme X-Men. Oh, and Red Lotus did come back to appear in the epic "Chasing Hellfire" storyline, where Rachel was Emma's "White Warrior Princess".

Shoot, a Rachel Grey: WWP thread should be along from someone, at some point, during this week, right?I loved X-treme but just about everything from that has been quietely forgotten.

Elias was the one who gave Sage her facial tatoos yes? i get him confused with Orror's arch enemy.

[worstblogever]

I loved X-treme but just about everything from that has been quietely forgotten.

Elias was the one who gave Sage her facial tatoos yes? i get him confused with Orror's arch enemy.

Yes, same guy who tattooed Sage's face. (he was amazingly close in nature to the Shadow King). He kept Rachel as his "pet", but there was no romance there. More like a guard dog, than anything else.

[x_goalkeeper]

Making your old lover inappropriately touch a five year old kind of outweighs that, for me.

In comics, age is only a number :biggrin:

[worstblogever]

In comics, age is only a number :biggrin:

I know one guy who'd support you on that...

http://www.brothatsmint.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/familyguybestofherbert.jpg

[DungeonmasterJim]

What about those blue fat guys from Excalibur that only wanted a little slave-master fun with Rachel. I think she might have KILLED them! :eek:


DM Jim - voted for Crotus. Yes, ugly demons DO need love!

[Cerridwen]

Blaquesmith and Ch'vayre were into her too.

[FeminineMystique]

Alistaire Stewart- He, for his love of spiked red fetish wear, took a liking to Rachel, and after being ignored by her multiple times… he finally had the good sense to settle for her dull geeky best friend, Kitty Pryde. Sure Kitty was only fifteen, but she still had a better haircut.

Who DOESN'T love spiked red fetish wear? Poor Alistaire...having to settle for the "Best friend".

know one guy who'd support you on that...

Thanks for that. I'll be seeing that in my nightmares tonight.

[worstblogever]

What about those blue fat guys from Excalibur that only wanted a little slave-master fun with Rachel. I think she might have KILLED them! :eek:


DM Jim - voted for Crotus. Yes, ugly demons DO need love!

I thought about the Slavers... but off the top of my head... didn't they want to use her to be their champion, and not for the sex?

Wow. That's an even more horrible burn than anything else. "No no... we don't want to rape you. Don't be ridiculous! We need you to be our butch muscle!"

[DungeonmasterJim]

I like Alistare. I kind of which CC had made Rachel more interested in him. Him and Rachel together REALLY would've put a strain on Kitty and Rachel's friendship!

DM Jim

[FeminineMystique]

Wow. That's an even more horrible burn than anything else. "No no... we don't want to rape you. Don't be ridiculous! We need you to be our butch muscle!"

For some reason I now have an mental image of Rachel trying to get them to take advantage of her, ala Francine from American Dad during the "Fast&the Furious" parody.

Rachel: I'm unrapeable. Not stupid!

[Rick Summers]

I voted for Niles...she really humiliated him. Not that he didn't deserve it!!

[subliminal]

Korvus! Others got over it... but not him.

[psycwave]

Red Lotus! His heart hurt so bad he was never seen or heard from again!!

[Pixie_Solanas]

Red Lotus! His heart hurt so bad he was never seen or heard from again!!

Should we thank Rachel for that?

P.S. I love the name Crotus. I can't stop muttering it to myself. "Crotus, crotus, crotus"

[worstblogever]

Should we thank Rachel for that?

P.S. I love the name Crotus. I can't stop muttering it to myself. "Crotus, crotus, crotus"

It's dangerously got a lot of common letters with Scrotum.