Story

[AmizulaTheHuntress]

First of all I OWN NOTHING! Made purely because 1) Hellboy is hot, I ADORE him 2) I like writing random stories
I am posting this thread to let you all know that I am making a Hellboy short love story. Liz and Red do not have a relationship like Boyfriend and Girlfriend, they are like brother and sister. The prologue is going up tonight on Quizilla.com and maybe the first chapter too. There are two (maybe a three, I haven’t decided) new characters and a few pictures/drawings I found on the Internet.

User name: AmizulaTheHuntress
Story name: The Goddess Walks Among Us

Please at least look I am working hard to finish this while it stays a good story.

also its not really supposed to be related to the movies or comics, its all imaginative its just a thing i made up while i was staring off into space.

[AmizulaTheHuntress]

Sorry i seem to be having difficulties whith my computer it wont be on tonight. sorry guys.

[AmizulaTheHuntress]

Ok its up and running now but somehow SHE ARRIVES... got made twice just pay attention to the first one since i edited it and made it better.
plz leave replys about what you do or do not like about it plz.:smile:

[AbeSapien99]

Oh hi. :smile:

Firstly, I should point out that spelling is very important, and if you don't use proper spelling in your forum post then people are going to be immediately turned off from your story. So it's key to catch the potential readers right off the hop by making a nice, clean message. :)

Also, a direct link would be nice. You gave the address and story name, which is good... but people are lazy and really appreciate a fast, direct link to the story. ;) And I even just searched on Quizilla.com and didn't find your story... That's not good. :/

[AmizulaTheHuntress]

Here is the link: http://www.quizilla.com/stories/9027054/the-goddess-walks-among-us-hellboy

[mimschkin]

Hello, I read it, even though I tend to stay away from fanfics at all costs.
I don't want to sound rude, but it reads a little fragmented, and the first few parts sound more like a movie script. And then the narrative suddenly changes to someone else narrating it, which is fine, but just a little...sudden, confusing. I also have a problem with the theology parts, like Lucifer being prince of darkness. If you're going to change common beliefs you're going to have to justify them by explaining why, and to whom.
Again, I don't want to be rude. I think it needs a little padding out. Setting the scene more. And as a general rule "show, don't tell" is favourable.

So I hope you're not offended or anything. I think it's a good effort.

[AmizulaTheHuntress]

thx for your opinion but hey im not offended i asked for replys because this is the first story ive ever actully let other people read, and other people think differently than me. i wanted to know how to make it better.

[AmizulaTheHuntress]

im sorry but this is not made by the hellboy creator but i am not saying i own hellboy because i dont. i just made this story up at lunch time and in between classes at school.sorry again kayanat :frown:

[AmizulaTheHuntress]

am i wasting space here? is no one noticing how hard im am trying while i still have to finish my homework and babysit EVERY day?:frown: no replies bum me out, and yes i even like mean reaplys because that mean 1) i have someone who actully reads my stuff and 2) i can fix what is wrong.

[Ontarah]

am i wasting space here? is no one noticing how hard im am trying while i still have to finish my homework and babysit EVERY day?:frown: no replies bum me out, and yes i even like mean reaplys because that mean 1) i have someone who actully reads my stuff and 2) i can fix what is wrong.

Hey, I'm not trying to sound preachy but have you considered a writer's workshop of some kind? It's a really good way to get people to read your stories and offer advice about them. A really great online workshop I use for my stuff is at www.critters.org. You have to wait about 4 weeks for your story to go through the line and you have to critique other people's stories (about 1 a week), but you'll get about 15-20 reallly detailed critques on your piece by the end of it all. If you're just writing for fun than you may not be interested, but critters is a great place if you're really serious about writing and maybe trying to get published. I don't know what critters stance on fanfic is, but if you have original pieces, I'd recommend sending them through. They only accept sci-fi, fantasy, and horror, though.

[AbeSapien99]

Try posting your story on a better site: FanNation (http://fannation.shades-of-moonlight.com/archive/index.php) or FanFiction (http://www.fanfiction.net/). It may take a while for someone to comment on your work, but it's got a much better chance on either of those sites than Quizilla.com.

[THE REAL kirk]

Amizula, I have to agree with Abe's first post regarding your spelling and grammar. If you want to entice people to take time out of their busy lives to read your hard work, you need to present a much more professional appearance in your invitation. The lack of caps and punctuation is ok if you are making a comment about a casual subject or replying to a friend's e-mail but when dealing with those who don't know you, it simply looks sloppy and lazy. You have obviously put a lot of hard work into your fiction and want to share it with others so make sure you polish up those posts. Most people will assume that your story writing will be similar to your posting and lack of effort there will not get their interest.

Also, find the best forum for your work. Some alternatives have been suggested here and I have found that fan fiction, as a rule, doesn't get a lot of response in this forum.

Good luck with your endeavors and keep at it! As a writer told me once, "Write a lot. Read even more."