Wanting: what would you do in this hypothetical situation?

[Buried Alien]

What would you do in this hypothetical situation?

You walk into a restaurant with your heart set on having a beefsteak dinner, which the restaurant serves at a reasonable price that you can afford. You sit down and the waiter comes to your table to take your order.

You: I'd like the steak dinner, please.

Waiter: No, you wouldn't. You'd like the chicken dinner.

You: Uh, no. I want the *steak* dinner.

Waiter: No, no. The steak dinner is no good for you. I know you think you want the steak dinner, but really, you want the CHICKEN dinner. It's better for you! You'll like it more.

You: No, you're not listening to me. I said I wanted the STEAK dinner, not the chicken. Now please go bring me the steak dinner.

Waiter: Sir/Ma'am, it's the chicken you want. Steak is too hard to get. Chicken is more easily available and it's better for you. I know you think that you want the steak, and you've probably been waiting a long time for the steak, but you're not getting steak...tonight or ever. You'll have the chicken and you'll like it. Just try it: you'll see.

You: This is absurd! I said I wanted steak, not chicken! Why are you insisting that I have the chicken?! Is steak unavailable at your restaurant?

Waiter: No, sir. It isn't. See? That gentleman at the table over there is having steak.

You: Right. So why can't I have one?

Waiter: Because you want chicken, that's why.


So...how do you solve this problem?

Restrictions:

1. You can't leave the restaurant to eat at another one. For some strange reason, it's the only restaurant in a 100-mile radius, you don't have transportation, and you're getting pretty hungry.

2. You can beat up the waiter, but that won't do any good: he'll just serve you the chicken.

3. Demanding to see the manager won't help either because he/she will just tell you the same thing the waiter has been telling you.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Paradox]

Buried Alien goes the long way around:

What would you do in this hypothetical situation?

You walk into a restaurant with your heart set on having a beefsteak dinner, which the restaurant serves at a reasonable price that you can afford. You sit down and the waiter comes to your table to take your order.

You: I'd like the steak dinner, please.

Waiter: No, you wouldn't. You'd like the chicken dinner.

You: Uh, no. I want the *steak* dinner.

Waiter: No, no. The steak dinner is no good for you. I know you think you want the steak dinner, but really, you want the CHICKEN dinner. It's better for you! You'll like it more.

At no later (possibly earlier) than this point, I say "I'm changing my order. I would like a new waiter."

And since I find the situation entirely unlikely, can you tell me what this is REALLY about? Someone in Cali passing some restrictions on steak or something? No restaurant would stay in business with policies like that.

EDIT: I'm really amused, now, after noticing the lovely steak morna just posted in the Food Porn thread. :biggrin:

[Buried Alien]

At no later (possibly earlier) than this point, I say "I'm changing my order. I would like a new waiter."

And since I find the situation entirely unlikely, can you tell me what this is REALLY about? Someone in Cali passing some restrictions on steak or something? No restaurant would stay in business with policies like that.

Actually, Dox, to tell you the truth: it's got nothing at all to do with food. It's just a suitable analogy for the way people have been telling me to manage my love life recently.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Paradox]

Then say that. Passive aggressive behavior is a little irritating. :biggrin:

BTW, the right answer is to tell those people that are trying to manage your lovelife to mind their own damned business.

[Buried Alien]

Then say that. Passive aggressive behavior is a little irritating. :biggrin:

BTW, the right answer is to tell those people that are trying to manage your lovelife to mind their own damned business.

It gets even better; the conversation then starts going something like this:

Picking up where we left off at the restaurant…

You: Look. Just what is the problem here? Do you think I can’t afford to eat steak at this restaurant? Look at the prices on your menu: the steak costs just a little more than the chicken. Look at the money I’ve got here in my wallet: I’ve got more than enough to pay for BOTH if I want to, but I just want the steak, not the chicken. Is that so hard to understand?

Waiter: Not at all, sir, and I didn’t mean to suggest that you couldn’t afford the steak. Nothing like that sir, but…you want the chicken.

You: NO! How many times do I have to tell you? I want the STEAK, not the chicken!

Waiter: Sir, see how hard it is for you to get the steak? Just take the chicken. It's more easily available. You’ll like it better.

You: It’s only hard because you’re MAKING it hard! Just bring me the goddamn steak and everything will be fine, all right?!

Waiter: I’m afraid that’s not possible, sir, because you want the chicken, not the steak.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Buried Alien]

BTW, the right answer is to tell those people that are trying to manage your lovelife to mind their own damned business.

Can't do that. I asked for the advice, but it's just that it's damned worthless.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Paradox]

Ah, and do you see where you made your mistake? :biggrin:

[Paradox]

Oh, and another question...

Are they trying to steer you to a different girl, or are they trying to tell you you're gay?

[Buried Alien]

Ah, and do you see where you made your mistake? :biggrin:

Not really, Dox. I'm sort of thick about these things.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Buried Alien]

Oh, and another question...

Are they trying to steer you to a different girl, or are they trying to tell you you're gay?

Unbelievably, there's been both.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Paradox]

Buried Alien needs the mistake pointed out:

Can't do that. I asked for the advice, but it's just that it's damned worthless.

Pretty much right there. :wink:

[Buried Alien]

Pretty much right there. :wink:

Everybody asks for advice sometimes.

But I invariably get duds when I ask for mine.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Paradox]

Buried Alien will have to categorize:

Unbelievably, there's been both.

Different people, I assume? I've gotten the gay one my whole life. I shrug it off or make a bad joke. I pretty much don't need someone else to tell me what gender I prefer to have sex with. :tongue:

[Paradox]

Buried Alien notes:

Everybody asks for advice sometimes.

True enough.

But I invariably get duds when I ask for mine.

Doesn't sound like you're asking the right people. Or that you just don't want to take their advice.

Pick your most honest, no bullshit blunt friend and ask them. And just nod and take the advice to incorporate into the larger scheme of things. Don't argue it. Don't discuss it to death. Just listen to what they have to say and if necessary, answer "Hmmm...I'll have to think about that."

In this case, I'd probably say "Well, thanks, but that's the dumbest thing I ever heard.", but then, I'm a very blunt type myself. :biggrin:

[Buried Alien]

Different people, I assume? I've gotten the gay one my whole life. I shrug it off or make a bad joke. I pretty much don't need someone else to tell me what gender I prefer to have sex with. :tongue:

Here's Part 3 of that hypothetical, to really drive home what I've been dealing with:


Waiter: Well, sir, I'm sorry. You'll either have to take the chicken or go hungry because we're not serving you anything else. If you just keep an open mind and try the chicken, though, you might like it. How do you know that you won't like the chicken if you haven't even tried it yet?

You: That's not the point. The point is I don't want chicken, I want steak. You guys serve steak, right?

Waiter: Yes, indeed we do.

You: Then why not serve me a steak?

Waiter: We can't do that, sir. Chicken is what you want. Chicken is better for you.

You: There you go again! Why?! Why is chicken better?!

Waiter: Sir, calm down. I know you think you want steak, but steak is really hard for you to get. Other customers can get steak at this restaurant, but you know...steak just isn't meant for you. Chicken is meant for you. So you'll like chicken.

You: But I DON'T like chicken!

Waiter: Of course you will. Just be open-minded. Try it.

You: And what if I don't like it?

Waiter: Well, that's possible, but you should still try it.

You: Why should I try it when I know that I won't like it?

Waiter: Because there's no way you're getting steak.

You: And why not?

Waiter: I wish I could say, sir. You're just not meant for steak, I guess. Try the chicken...?

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Paradox]

Yes, the "lowered expectations" bit. I'm a "I'll have the steak or nothing, because I simply don't WANT the chicken."

I'd say take the shot. Can you end up worse off for it?

[Buried Alien]

I'd say take the shot. Can you end up worse off for it?

Sure can...psychologically. They'd be sizing me up for a suit at Arkham.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Paradox]

Heh, yeah, forgot who I was talking to there for a second. :tongue:

Ken, you're an old dear friend, so I say what I do out of love and concern for you.

One of these days you're going to have to grow a pair. To me, that seems to be at the root of several of your recurring problems.

[Gary_B]

Why not go to some other restaurant?

[Buried Alien]

One of these days you're going to have to grow a pair. To me, that seems to be at the root of several of your recurring problems.

I'll take the $6 million bionic pair. Where's Oscar when you need him?

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Paradox]

We have the technology... :tongue:

[Buried Alien]

Why not go to some other restaurant?

It's sort of a TWILIGHT ZONE scenario where it's the only restaurant around.

Something tells me I'd be good at writing TWILIGHT ZONE plots.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Paradox]

You live in Southern California. You have more "restaurants" than you can shake a dead cat at!

[Buried Alien]

You live in Southern California. You have more "restaurants" than you can shake a dead cat at!

It's kind of hard to keep the food analogy up, but I'll give it a shake anyway, since it's too hard to deal with directly.

Imagine that twenty years ago, you had the most delicious steak that was ever grilled. You'd never even DREAMED that you'd have a steak that great. And you paid...boy, did you pay. The steak cost you three years' worth of pay and put you into debt for another ten, but it was so delicious that you thought it was worth every penny (yeah, I know this is improbable, but just bear with me for the sake of discussion).

But the steak, delicious as it was, turns out to be E.Coli infected. You get direly sick from eating it and nearly die. You survive, but your health is never the same again.

But you haven't lost your appetite for steak...the only problem being...you can't afford it anymore (blew three years of pay and are ten years in debt, remember?). Moreover, even if you could afford it, there's no steak like THAT available. The chef has moved on. The sort of cattle that produced the steak...a rare one in a million breed seldom seen.

So you go twenty years without steak...

Twenty years later, you've finally paid off all that debt and have a little money saved up again.

Out of NOWHERE, another chef with the same set of skills as the original chef appears, and he's got that same rare breed of cattle that you encountered only once before twenty years ago!

So you order that same steak...it's just as delicious as you remember it from twenty years ago.

Unfortunately, you get E. Coli poisoning again...just like you did twenty years ago.

Once again, you're taken to death's door, and once again, you recover...but you're less robust than after your previous recovery because you're twenty years older (and hence, twenty years more frail). That first recovery was difficult enough (it took years), but at least you finally got there...or at least 80%. But now, you've blown it again.

The chef is gone again, and so is the special cattle...just like last time.

And oh, you've lost all your money and are in debt again...

That's *sort of* my love life situation.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Gary_B]

Holy crap! I have no idea what you are talking about. I guess I suck at metaphor.

I genuinely hope you figure this all out, though. Everyone should be able to eat what they want no matter what restaurant they go to. Whatever that means.

[dingo]

I think you watch too many cooking shows that glorify that one special cook.

There are plenty of mind blowing chefs out there. Which doesn't address the E. Coli poisoning issue, and if you want to take that chance again.

But to extend that metaphor further, if you got E. Coli, they probably weren't that great chefs to begin with.

[Paradox]

Silly Buried. You did the same thing and got the same result. This is called "reality".

Sometimes what we want isn't good for us. Often outright BAD. You have to make a choice. Don't do that, or do that, and accept the expected consequences.

And, IIRC, aren't there some self-esteem issues involved here? You may have gone that way simply to sabotage yourself (consciously or unconsciously).

At least it seems familiar enough to what I've done in the past under the same situations.

[Buried Alien]

Silly Buried. You did the same thing and got the same result. This is called "reality".

I feel like the Trix Rabbit. Don't you, Dox?


Sometimes what we want isn't good for us. Often outright BAD. You have to make a choice. Don't do that, or do that, and accept the expected consequences.


I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the concept of getting a second chance at something twenty years after having blown it the first time, and somehow managing to blow it again the second time in EXACTLY the same way.

That happens? Really?

If there's some sort of prize for TOTAL FAIL, it's a tossup between the George W. Bush presidency and my love life.

At least it seems familiar enough to what I've done in the past under the same situations.

You mean I'm not the only one who's done so foolish a thing?

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Paradox]

Of course you're not the only one. Not that my situation was all that similar, but I've had many "why didn't I learn my lesson?" situations.

All you can do is move on and resolve to have learned. So you stuck your hand on the stove twice. Quit it! :wink:

And just for the record, it doesn't sound like you "blew it". It sounds like a situation wasn't going to work no matter WHAT you did. The only part it sounds like you blew is getting back into the situation again. Step back and take a look as objectively as possible and ask yourself..."What were the chances that was going to work again?"

[Buried Alien]

Of course you're not the only one. Not that my situation was all that similar, but I've had many "why didn't I learn my lesson?" situations.

All you can do is move on and resolve to have learned. So you stuck your hand on the stove twice. Quit it! :wink:

It was exactly the same kind of steak...er, woman twice, Dox. Twenty years apart. I was sixteen the first time, thirty-six the second time. The first time, she was two years younger than I was. The second time, she was twelve years younger.

But I'll be damned...the same type exactly, seen only twice in twenty years (and you meet alot of people in twenty years...all kinds of people). Nobody else ever had this kind of effect...not like these two. And it turned out the exact same way both times.

The thing is, as the second time got underway, I did think to myself: "Hmmm...maybe you shouldn't. You remember what happened back in '88. You never fully recovered from that. Can you afford another one like it?"

But then, another part said, "Screw it! You've waited twenty years for this second chance! You're not getting any younger! Blow it and there might not be a third chance! GO FOR IT!"

And so I did, and the results were laughably predictable.

Consequently, I haven't been feeling like myself since the first week of last June.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[x_goalkeeper]

If it were the restaurant situation I would just take the chicken :smile:

If it were a marriage/love situation I would not just take the chicken!

[Buried Alien]

If it were the restaurant situation I would just take the chicken :smile:

If it were a marriage/love situation I would not just take the chicken!

Works for me.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[thehod]

How about a nice salad instead.

It would seem to be the right meal for someone who can't say, and I mean this in the nicest way Buired...

"Thanks for your adivice, but I think I can decide whats good for me and what isn't. Now get me my fucking steak."

[crazyredlady]

I never listen to advice from others regarding matters of the heart. I know what I want and I don't care about what other people think. I've got friends who tell me that I shoulda kicked my husband to the curb years ago but I didn't. I met him when I was fifteen years old and I knew right away I'd marry him. I'm now thirty six. You flick the abacus.

now about the fight between the steak and the chicken....tell 'em you want the fettucine alfredo....:wink:

[Paul McEnery]

"I'd like a lovely bucket of poison, please."
"I'm pretty sure you don't!"

[GRANT!]

A year ago I had a similar issue with the Kosher Dinner.

[Agent Helix]

Oh, this thread again.

[GRANT!]

Oh, this thread again.

I preferred the Crisis analogy one.

[dupont2005]

Actually, Dox, to tell you the truth: it's got nothing at all to do with food. It's just a suitable analogy for the way people have been telling me to manage my love life recently.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

in that case, i would have to take into consideration who is giving me the advice i don't want to hear. for the most part, i probably wouldn't listen, unless it were a lot of people or someone whose opinion i thought might be worth listening to. sometimes someone on the outside can more easily see failure where the active parties cannot

[Davideaux]

Maybe the steak doesn't want to be eaten by you?

[Buried Alien]

Maybe the steak doesn't want to be eaten by you?

Then it should have never been waved in my face as if it did.

Don't you hate steaks that sizzle like they want you, but end up not delivering?

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Winslow]

Maybe the steak doesn't want to be eaten by you?

Or it is being eaten by someone else.

In which case, it is either better to find your own steak, or take the waiter's advice, or find a new restaurant.

Otherwise, you simply spend the rest of the meal looking longingly at the other guy while he consumes the steak you want.

[Agent Helix]

Then it should have never been waved in my face as if it did.

Don't you hate steaks that sizzle like they want you, but end up not delivering?


WOW even creepier than usual!

[Michael P]

Then it should have never been waved in my face as if it did.

Don't you hate steaks that sizzle like they want you, but end up not delivering?

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

Just because a girl is friendly to you doesn't mean she wants to be your girlfriend.

(Oh, like the metaphor hadn't already been busted wide open anyway.)

[The Black Guardian]

I think if I ever get E Coli, I'd either switch chefs or switch meals... or both.

There isn't just steak and chicken, either, but pork, fish, other seafood, salads, pasta... have you tried the sushi?

And there's always the choice of cooking your own meals. :wink:

[Agent Helix]

The fact that he's literally reducing the opposite sex to meat with this horrible metaphor makes this the best one yet.

[Michael P]

I think if I ever get E Coli, I'd either switch chefs or switch meals... or both.

There isn't just steak and chicken, either, but pork, fish, other seafood, salads, pasta... have you tried the sushi?

And there's always the choice of cooking your own meals. :wink:

Or ordering for delivery.

[Gilda Dent]

What would you do in this hypothetical situation?

You walk into a restaurant with your heart set on having a beefsteak dinner, which the restaurant serves at a reasonable price that you can afford. You sit down and the waiter comes to your table to take your order.

You: I'd like the steak dinner, please.

Waiter: No, you wouldn't. You'd like the chicken dinner.

You: Uh, no. I want the *steak* dinner.

Waiter: No, no. The steak dinner is no good for you. I know you think you want the steak dinner, but really, you want the CHICKEN dinner. It's better for you! You'll like it more.

At about this point, I'd probably say, "OK, bring me the chicken."

Then I'd go home and cook some steak there instead the next time.

[GRANT!]

The fact that he's literally reducing the opposite sex to meat with this horrible metaphor makes this the best one yet.

True. The choice of analogy does explain the problem.

[Tracer Bullet]

I would suspect that something was wrong with the steaks they were serving and they were too embarrassed to tell me.

[Buried Alien]

The fact that he's literally reducing the opposite sex to meat with this horrible metaphor makes this the best one yet.

True. The choice of analogy does explain the problem.

"Sigh." First, the CRISIS analogy didn't work for you guys because it was too geeky.

Now, the meal analogy, which is more universal and not geeky, is too...something else for you guys.

What does is it take to make you people happy?

Sports. Maybe the next time I try to discuss this, I'll use sports metaphors.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Michael P]

"Sigh." First, the CRISIS analogy didn't work for you guys because it was too geeky.

Now, the meal analogy, which is more universal and not geeky, is too...something else for you guys.

The word you're looking for is "misogynist."

[Winslow]

The word you're looking for is "misogynist."

In fairness, I didn't read it that way

I took it as a metaphor of the steak for wanting the relationship rather than the person.

[Michael P]

In fairness, I didn't read it that way

I took it as a metaphor of the steak for wanting the relationship rather than the person.

Doesn't really hold once you get to the "steaks that sizzle like they want you, but end up not delivering" part.

Since we're supposed to be talking to other posters rather than about them: BA, Helix is right. That was *really* creepy.

[Buried Alien]

In fairness, I didn't read it that way

I took it as a metaphor of the steak for wanting the relationship rather than the person.

It's nice that someone here understands my character well enough after all these years and doesn't rush to make the worst assumptions when something doesn't read right.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Buried Alien]

Since we're supposed to be talking to other posters rather than about them: BA, Helix is right. That was *really* creepy.

If you think we're talking about someone involved with CBR, that's *two* things you've gotten wrong in the span of two posts.

I should make a sticky note about not coming here for advice. You don't get any; you just get curbstomped, the faster the better, it seems. People fall over each other to curbstomp you around here.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[chaosakita]

Why don't you stop assuming what we'd think? I'd personally give up and just go with the chicken.

[Agent Helix]

You know why you don't get advice? Because you've made it plain and clear the last five or so times you've made pretty much this SAME THREAD (and that's just since I've been here) that when people give you advice, you don't want it, and then you throw a hissy fit about the whole thing.

At this point, you deserve the ridicule. It's more than well earned.

[GRANT!]

"Sigh." First, the CRISIS analogy didn't work for you guys because it was too geeky.

Now, the meal analogy, which is more universal and not geeky, is too...something else for you guys.

What does is it take to make you people happy?

Sports. Maybe the next time I try to discuss this, I'll use sports metaphors.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

You could just drop the analogies and just be straight about what's going on (if you want people to take whatever you're talking about seriously).

[Tadhg]

The best way to get advice is to be forthright. If you are unwilling or unable to communicate your problem, then you're right, you probably shouldn't post here asking for advice.

[Buried Alien]

You know why you don't get advice? Because you've made it plain and clear the last five or so times you've made pretty much this SAME THREAD (and that's just since I've been here) that when people give you advice, you don't want it, and then you throw a hissy fit about the whole thing.

At this point, you deserve the ridicule. It's more than well earned.

Why don't you just admit that you like to kick people when they're down? You do it habitually.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Buried Alien]

You could just drop the analogies and just be straight about what's going on (if you want people to take whatever you're talking about seriously).

Well, part of the problem is that every time I've done that, the first thing that happened is a bunch of people rushed in to curbstomp me.

If you don't want to help, then fine, don't. Some use it as an excuse to call out the hunting dogs, unfortunately.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[Tracer Bullet]

You could just drop the analogies and just be straight about what's going on (if you want people to take whatever you're talking about seriously).

A novel idea.

[Michael P]

If you think we're talking about someone involved with CBR, that's *two* things you've gotten wrong in the span of two posts.

The "other poster" in question was you.

I should make a sticky note about not coming here for advice. You don't get any; you just get curbstomped, the faster the better, it seems. People fall over each other to curbstomp you around here.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

If you're gonna put yourself up on that cross, you're gonna need these:

http://www.manufacturer.com/images/product/www.alibaba.com/1213/l/concrete_nails.jpg

[chaosakita]

You know why you don't get advice? Because you've made it plain and clear the last five or so times you've made pretty much this SAME THREAD (and that's just since I've been here) that when people give you advice, you don't want it, and then you throw a hissy fit about the whole thing.

At this point, you deserve the ridicule. It's more than well earned.

Is this supposed to be an advice thread? Whoops, I didn't catch the allegory!

[Agent Helix]

Why don't you just admit that you like to kick people when they're down? You do it habitually.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

Boo hoo hoo. Isn't it time for your biannual "I'M LEAVING FOREVER!" thread?

[Tracer Bullet]

Well, part of the problem is that every time I've done that, the first thing that happened is a bunch of people rushed in to curbstomp me.

If you don't want to help, then fine, don't. Some use it as an excuse to call out the hunting dogs, unfortunately.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

But if they've done that here anyway, what do you have to lose? At least amid whatever criticism you get, you might learn something worthwhile.

[Buried Alien]

Boo hoo hoo. Isn't it time for your biannual "I'M LEAVING FOREVER!" thread?

It'd have to have happened at least twice to be "biannual." Never heard of any "biannual" event that hasn't happened.

Show me any post where I ever declared or even suggested that I was leaving these forums.

You'll come up empty, because they don't exist outside your imagination.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

[mgs]

I don't get the analogy, I am too focused on how horrible that restaurant is.

First, I don't know how good beefsteak can be. It's either steak or you're asking for a cheesesteak hoagie or something.

Second, I'd simply ask to speak to the Chef (if it IS a good enough place) and just sit and wait. If you sit there and order nothing, the place is losing money and they will address your concerns sooner than later.

Third, you might do well to take the advice of the waiter. Sometimes, sure they are pushing some food, but sometimes they know better. If they are pushing something, it's usually at a cheaper rate than normal as well.

I have no idea how this can help you in your love life. Sry.

[Davideaux]

The best way to get advice is to be forthright.

This is true. By creating such an outlandish analogy, you are inviting unhelpful, even derisive, advice.

[GRANT!]

Well, part of the problem is that every time I've done that, the first thing that happened is a bunch of people rushed in to curbstomp me.

If you don't want to help, then fine, don't. Some use it as an excuse to call out the hunting dogs, unfortunately.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

Not sure how the analogies make it better though. If anything I think it makes it worse and reveal things that you might not be aware of. I'm not trying to be mean or anything but it doesn't show you in the best light no matter what your intentions are. Which is probably what is preventing you from getting that relationship you want.

Hey I have a long continuing awkward history with women so I know what you're going through. But it's hard to read these things and not giggle.

[chaosakita]

Not sure how the analogies make it better though. If anything I think it makes it worse. I'm not trying to be mean or anything.

Hey I have a long continuing awkward history with women so I know what you're going through. But it's hard to read these things and not giggle.

Is this something about women? Because most girls I know (including me) probably wouldn't date a guy who had to put his relationship issues into an analogy about chicken and beef.

[Kid Omega]

Ken, you don't get "curbstomped". You ask for advice, often about the same things repeatedly, and when people (everyone) tells you what you don't want to hear, you get indignant, and defensive.

If people are less than polite about it, it's because this is a pattern that has happened again and again and again, and it's frustrating saying the same thing to someone over and over again, only to have them get mad each time, especially when you're offering the best advice you know to said person.

Stubborn and defensive are a bad combo. add repetitiveness to that mix, and yes, you will get some irritated replies. One of the things about asking for advice in personal situations is that you will hear things you don't want to hear. To extend your terrible metaphor, maybe you shouldn't get the steak. Maybe the waiter knows that the steak will give you the shits.

Have some dignity.

[dupont2005]

You know why you don't get advice? Because you've made it plain and clear the last five or so times you've made pretty much this SAME THREAD (and that's just since I've been here) that when people give you advice, you don't want it, and then you throw a hissy fit about the whole thing.

At this point, you deserve the ridicule. It's more than well earned.

is this guy the kid that always goes after his brothers older female friends?

[howyadoin]

is this guy the kid that always goes after his brothers older female friends?Nope. Ken's in his thirties.

[MacQuarrie]

Can I ask a question, Ken?

I've found that almost always, when somebody asks for advice, they usually already know what their decision will be, and they're not really looking for advice so much as validation; they want somebody to suggest the thing they've already decided on so that they don't have to bear full responsibility for the choice they've made. They don't want advice, they want an accomplice, or at the very least, permission.....

Is that the case here?

If so, I'm afraid that relying on analogies to solicit opinion is not going to be terribly helpful. Analogies can illustrate and sometimes clarify a point, but not if the audience is unaware of the actual situation. All analogies are by definition flawed, there's no way to create one that is a point-for-point parallel to the real situation. Only by knowing the facts can the analogy be used to shed light on the question.

Not to mention that fact that the analogy you chose is predicated upon a great many contrived limitations and exclusions, which serve, whether you intended it or not, to steer the audience toward the answer you're looking for.

Who does the waiter represent? The people you're asking for advice? Bad analogy; a waiter is there to take your order and deliver what you ask for; he may make suggestions, but that's about it. In your situation, is there a "waiter" who is supposed to deliver a woman to you in accordance with your specifications, but he's refusing to give you the blonde, insisting instead that you accept the brunette? Is this person a matchmaker?

What do the steak and chicken represent? Women? Bad analogy. Unlike women, the steak and chicken have no say in the matter.

What does the restaurant represent? Your city? The world? Why are there no other "restaurants" available to you? Bad analogy.

Sorry, I'm not much help here.

[Mermaid]

oh god i got to the fourth post and gave up....chicken......steak.....the rests a blur

[Rachel Grey]

I'd give the waiter the finger and look up Steakhouses in the Yellow Pages. I can guarantee you'll find at least one that'll deliver the steak to your very doorstep.

If I want steak then god damn it I will have steak!

[Typo Lad]

Ken,

I say this as nicely as possible -

Don't come here for advice like this. You know what's going to happen.

What you need to do is listen to the advice that's been given to you at least a hundred times by now - get into therapy. Talk to someone whose job it is to help people cope with this stuff, not random internet people.

[jessecuster3]

Wait, so steak = women and chicken=men?


Is the "waiter" telling you that you must be gay?




How many times have you eaten steak in the past?

[Tom]

You know why you don't get advice? Because you've made it plain and clear the last five or so times you've made pretty much this SAME THREAD

More like 30 or so times.

[Loren]

If it were the restaurant situation I would just take the chicken :smile:

If it were a marriage/love situation I would not just take the chicken!

Works for me.

Buried Alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)

I think this sums up why your analogy is a horribly flawed one, when you admit that you'd make a different decision in the hypothetical situation than you would in the real situation you're actually looking for advice on.

[CaptMonkey]

Well, from my totally uninvolved frame of reference... the best advice I can give is to take a deep breath, and make a decision. Regardless of it's right or wrong, at least you made a clean cut decision and you won't spend all this time agonizing about which is the best way to go.

[Dreadstar]

I count 7 or 8 people in this thread saying the same thing, and they're giving you the best advice you're ever going to get. As Tom says a couple posts above, that very same advice has been given you over a dozen times in the past. And that advice is:


STOP ASKING US FOR ADVICE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.