Genie Note

[Radical]

GENIE NOTE

by Radical

(I don't own Death Note or anyone in it, and I'm not doing this for money. I'm just bored.)

Light Yagami was looking out of his classroom window when he saw the strange book fall from the sky. He watched it land on the grass outside. Curious, he went to pick it up. He seemed to be the only one who could see it. He read the cover.
"Genie Note?" he wondered. "What does that mean?" Some instinct told him to take the book with him.
When Light got home, he opened the book. Light read what was on the page.

"1. Upon opening the Genie Note and writing a wish down on these pages, the holder of this book has a genie summoned from the Genie
Realm to act as his servant. The Genie Note enables the genie bound to it to function in the human realm; in exchange, the genie must serve the one who summons it. Most genies think of servitude as the least they can do in exchange for being able to enter the human world."

Light did some more thinking. Earlier that morning, he'd heard a news item about how a man had murdered his common-law wife, and another about a 32-year-old man who had been stabbed to death in his apartment.
He remembered his thoughts at the time. *Day in and day out...the same news on permanent repeat. This world is...rotten.*
It was time for a new world. Light read.

"2. The genie's magic can affect the physical world, bringing the summoner food, treasure, etc. However, the genie's magic affects only physical reality, not the minds or spirits of other living beings. Thus, the following limitations are in place:

a) Because genies are summoned to serve mortals, the genie may not harm or kill mortals; even if such were possible, the spirit of the victim remains behind to haunt both the genie who killed it and the master who commanded its death."

Light frowned. "Then killing the criminals and evildoers won't work even if I could command the genie to. Their ghosts will just remain behind, possibly with the ability to create further evil." He read on.

"b) A genie cannot make anyone do anything against its will. For example, a genie cannot cause anyone to fall in love with anyone else, compel it to commit a murder, etc.

c) While it is possible to restore someone's physical body, unless the spirit that dwelt within is willing to reinhabit it, it remains an immobile corpse."

Light thought about his wish, then wrote it down. I wish that all violent criminals -- the murderers, rapists, torturers, abusives, thugs -- were rendered harmless. Yes, "rendered harmless" seemed the best way to put it.
The page glowed. Light blinked as a pair of hands and lower arms rose from the glowing space in the book. Like a pair of cobras following a snake charmer's flute, the arms undulated, followed by upper arms, and so forth.
The being who emerged, writhing in a snakelike-manner, looked like a young girl with two blonde pigtails. She was dressed in some outfit that made her look like she'd stepped out of an Arabian Nights harem, with loose silky pants, a veil around her face (which didn't really hide her cute smile) and a beaded bra.
"Hi!" she said in a cute voice. "Misa the genie is here to grant your wishes!"

(Note to Death Note fans: Yeah, yeah, I know...but would you rather it was *Ryuk* belly dancing in the harem outfit? Didn't think so. :tongue:)

Light blinked. "Huh?" was his only confused reply.
The girl smiled. "Oh, you know what a genie is, right?"
Light squinted. "I know a lot of things about genies...including the fact that they're fictional beings."
Misa hugged him. "Does *this* feel fictional to you?" she asked cutely.
Light had never been hugged by a pretty girl before. It might have turned him on if she hadn't had a grip like steel. "Can't...breathe..."
"Whoops!" she said, letting him go. "Sorry," she said, a giant sweatdrop appearing on her forehead.
After he could breathe again, Light thought about what to do. "So, if you're a real genie...do I get only three wishes, or are you my slave as long as I hold this book?"
Misa chuckled. "It's more like I work for you as long as you keep writing wishes. We only show up once per wish, so..." She shrugged, as if to say, That's the way it goes.
Light frowned again. Obviously, his plan was going to require modification. He looked up at Misa and asked, "If killing is out, how would *you* suggest punishing the evildoers, and making sure they never hurt anyone again?"
Misa smiled. "Oh, that's easy, master! I'd turn them all into cute, fluffy bunnies!"
Now it was Light's turn to sweatdrop. Turning criminals into bunny rabbits wasn't the kind of punishment he thought they deserved, nor was it likely to get him taken seriously. Still, it was a start. "Well...all right, go do that then."
"Yes, sir!" said Misa with a salute. She disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving Light to ponder the next step in his plan.
Suddenly, his mother knocked on the door. "Is everything all right in there, dear?" she asked. "It sounds like you have a girl in there."
"I'm watching TV, mom," he lied, snapping on the TV set.

[Radical]

Misa materialized at a day care center, to the gasps of teachers and children. "Huh?" said the man in front of whom she had appeared, a gunman named Kurou Otoharada. "Who the hell are you?"
"I'm Misa the genie!" she explained. "Misa's here to punish you for being evil! And besides, you shouldn't use that kind of language in front of children!" She waved her hand.
Kurou shuddered, and he suddenly shrank, becoming a small fluffy form! The children gasped in surprise, then giggled with pleasure at the cute fluffy bunny that had replaced the bad man. The adults were torn between joy that they were safe and confusion about what happened.
Misa tickled the bunny under the chin as she examined her handiwork. Yes, indeed, Light would be pleased with her!

Motorcycle gang member Takuo Shibuimaru had just grabbed a nonconsenting young woman. One of his fellow gang members was trying to tear her clothes off.
Unfortunately, it wasn't easy with tiny little rabbit paws. The young woman blinked as her would-be rapists shrank into little puffballs whose falls to the pavement were cushioned by their motorcycle uniforms, which no longer fit.
The woman looked up at Misa, who floated her. "No need to thank Misa, ma'am!" said the blonde genie cheerily, saluting. "Misa's just doing her job!" She flew away, leaving a woman who was both
grateful and confused.

"Not a bad night's work," said Light as he watched the late-breaking news report. "Still...if anyone believes what those children or that woman say they saw, they might trace you back to me."
"I doubt it," said Misa. "Children have wild imaginations, so what they say gets written off as fantasies, and adults tend to rationalize their experience. I mean, even *you* had trouble believing in Misa at first!"
"That's true," Light considered. "By the way...why was I chosen to receive the Genie Note in the first place?" Light asked.
"You weren't 'chosen', except maybe by fate," Misa explained with a shrug. "It just kind of...happened. You were just around to pick it up, that's all. The last time something like this happened, the instructions were written in Arabic because the Arabs were considered the most advanced people around, having discovered astronomy, chemistry, algebra and other human sciences. This time, they were in English because that's the most common human language."
"Then why did you drop it in the first place?" Light demanded. "You even left specific instructions on how to use it, so don't try to tell me it was an accident!"
"Misa was bored," said Misa, shrugging again. "We genies haven't been in the human realm for a while, so Misa just dropped it so Misa would come here. Even if it meant being just a slave, Misa'd be out of the Genie Realm where there's nothing to do these days."
Then she looked at Light quizzically. "That whole 'get rid of all the bad people' wish, though...it sounds like one Misa's gonna be at for a while."
"That's good," said Light, with a fanatical gleam growing in his eyes. "Because the more crminals you punish, the more people will know that there's someone out there, passing righteous judgment on the wicked."
"But, why?" asked a confused Misa.
Light smiled. "Because...I've been bored, too," he explained. "This world is rotten with vice and corruption. Those who are making that way deserve to die, but since genies can't kill I'm going to settle for the next best thing: turning the one who deserve it into small, weak things that can't harm the innocent. Someone who has the power to stop evil also has the moral
imperative to do so, so why not me? The world can't go on this way!
"Think about it, Misa," said Light, continuing his fanatical raving. "What if your note had fallen into someone else's hands? Someone who would see you as a mere slave, granting them wealth and power to feed their own selfish egos? Or worse, what if they didn't give a damn about being haunted and used you for an assassin, or what if they wanted to rule the world? No...better someone like me who'll use your power properly, to make sure the vermin of the world never harm the innocent again! After all, if I don't do it, who will? You and I will change the world...because we're the only ones who can!"
Light looked out his window. "This world will be ruled and populated by people who I've judged to be honest, kind and hard-working!"
"And bunny rabbits," added Misa.
"Yes, those too," replied Light. "And I...I WILL BECOME THE GOD OF THIS NEW WORLD!"
"...It's nice to have a hobby," quipped Misa, who was otherwise at a loss for words. (Cue gothic chanting.)

At first, underworld crime figures were considered to have just "disappeared". Then a "respectable" politician who was later discovered to be engaged in money laundering (which, as Light explained, "is basically stealing") turned into a bunny rabbit during a press conference with a dozen cameras broadcasting live. Light laughed his ass off at that.
The result would be a police search for the mysterious vigilante the media would dub "Mahou" (Japanese word for "magic"), so named for making criminals disappear and replacing them with rabbits.

(Anyone want a follow-up? E-mail TCSHAN@aol.com )