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howyadoin
10-10-2008, 11:35 PM
Chris Nowlin: "Man it's been a long time since I was funny."
FunkyGreenJerusalem: "Longer than you think."




drwho: "Maybe its just me but i have never begged a woman for sex nor have i had a woman beg me to have sex with them. Wanting sex and begging for it are different."
Matt Algren: "Maybe you need to bathe? I dunno what to tell you."




"You HAVE no defensible position. There's nothing in your position to attack. You are literally not even making an argument, you're just screaming at the top of your lungs about how unfair life is because you have a dick. That's wrong. Everything you're saying is wrong. I actually don't think I've ever seen someone be quite as wrong as you are right now. You've somehow managed to redefine wrong, turn being wrong into a new form of self expression. You're the goddamn Picasso of incorrectness, breaking boundaries and expanding the artform of having your head up your ass. So thank you, this is like watching a fucking master at work. The world is your canvas, and your paint is BULLSHIT."
~ Agent Helix




"Brainwashing is the only reason to have children."
~ Gilda Dent




"Two sarongs don't make a right."
~ Slam Bradley




jesse_custer: "I think my master's thesis will theorize that a society's decadence can be measured by how often its fucking citizens use abbreviations, especially acronyms."
Agent Helix: "lol wtf omg"




howyadoin: "I just saw a website called 'Celebrities Bending Over in Tight Clothes'."
jessecuster3: "If it's George Wendt, I am definitely not interested."




mattx110: "Same to women, men without chest hair aren't men."
K'Nort: "Trust me, that's not why they're turning you down."




Michael P: "Sorry, I only read light, stupid, cynical, comedic, and pointless graphic novels."
Joe Rice: "Still on the Peter David kick, I see.


HEYOOOO HIGH FIVE"




"I am rolling Chumps in Facebook poker.

Call me the Hamburgler cause I'm stealing your Lunch!"
~ Mac Danny




"It's proof of what I always say, kids aren't being brought up right these days. Mom and Dad are smoking pot and letting the kids run wild. Then they trash Chaykin.

This is a huge warning sign. Hooliganism ahead!"
~ fly on the wall




Kid Omega: "I now suspect that if I posted a poll asking 'in general, at a glance, would you say the sky is blue?', there would be several posts explaining why that is not a clear enough statement."
Agent Helix: "I don't understand you. Please clarify your position, and do so in a way that makes me feel pleasant and secure in my own beliefs."




Dom: "Anyone want to hire a 26 old, Italian, chartered account and soon to be MBA?

I work cheap and wear tight pants and low cut tops on demand."
Tadhg Adams: "Can you make monkey sounds and hold a screwdriver? If so, I have a job for you in IT."




"It's a long road from winsome to awesome, honey."
~ Paul McEnery




"I saw an ad for the 'Kim Kardashian Diet.'

I'd do it, but I don't know if I could eat that much cock."
~ Mac Danny




"If you're not curled up in the fetal position crying your guts out, it's not a crisis. (This is also Dan Didio's approach to comics editing!)"
~ Michael P




i_mmmchocolate: "I'm all kinds of frustrated right now."
jessecuster3: "Fine, I'll go out with you, but you better put out."
HomerJay: "At least tell her she doesn't have to wear the Optimus Prime mask."




"mattx is our Citizen of the Month?

You got to be kidding. We might as well make some syphlitic hobo citizen of the month."
~ fly on the wall




"And it's not that I'm some kind of fruity, anti-materialistic pinko hippie flower child here. I love my stuff, and I enjoy accumulating more stuff. But there's a level of conspicous consumption that I just can't understand, and that's the level of buying something like a $75,000 watch. I'm sure if I was extraordinarily wealthy, I wouldn't really give a fuck, and would probably buy a tiny diamond encrusted unicorn leather top-hat for my dick and name him Sir Reginald Thrustbottom. So there you go."
~ Agent Helix




"i_mmmchocolate: "Ugh, I can't sleep."
Michael P: "Post some more about how much in looooooooove you are.

No, wait, that'll just put me to sleep."




"I can't believe I used a derivative of subtle in a conversation about AC/DC."
~ jesse_custer




DonC: "The president of MTV should be fired."
kmeyers: "out of a cannon, into the sun."




"I get the runs pretty easily, so I feel I'm a bit of an authority on the matter. "
~ Joe Rice




Tadhg Adams: "You're a teacher; you're the antithesis of style."
Gingold: "I have discovered the anti-style equation."




"Geez. DC is like the boy who Crisised wolf."
~ The Xenos




Paul McEnery: "Ping her mercilessly."
Pól Rua: "If that fails, you should flash your gordon."




Doctor Doom: "I want some peanut butter."
Royal: "Creamy or chunky?"
Michael P: "That's what she said.

Wait, that makes no sense."




"Co-eds + hotpants + lots of jumping = good TV"
~ HomerJay




"Some of us, however, don't seem to be able to ride the ethics bike without benefit of the stablizer wheels of a strict moral code."
~ Paul McEnery




MacQuarrie: "There will be clowns at my funeral."
Gilda Dent: "Not at mine. I've made it clear that my stepfathers aren't invited."




"Apparently asking 'I'd like to take you out to dinner sometime' is much harder than creating a thread on a comic book board that becomes a subject of mockery."
~ Corrina




"It's kind of like Citizen Kane, if you replace Rosebud with a chimpanzee who throws its feces at people, change the lighting to strobe, and change most of the dialogue to reaction shots and people shouting 'Go, Speed Racer.'

For a full-length movie derived from a crappily animated piece of badly dubbed Japanese nostalgia, it's remarkably true to the source."
~ Ray R.




"You talk about size all the time. It's no wonder that you're single.

I do believe I never would have predicted that someone could make a value judgment on someone else's lifestyle based on Spiderman's love life from the eighties.

But what do I know. I need my plot-twists spoonfed to me."
~ Ray R.




Paradox: "Keep in mind the Old Testament 'God' and the New Testament 'God' have different personalities for the obvious reasons. OT God's kind of a prick some times."
thehod: "A bit like Silver Age Superman who was a total dick, and Modern Age Superman who starts blubbing at the drop of a hat.

The layers just go really deep with that character don't they."




Ronald Bryan: "I want the guy who does the narration on Pushing Dasies to follow me around and narrate my life."
Chris Nowlin: "Nothing's happening, nothing's happening..."




"When we saw Batman, we drove 45 minutes to a small town theatre in Parry Sound (home of Bobby Orr, btw) and sat in an old single screen theatre that had been chopped in two with such bad acoustics that we could hear most of "Mama Mia" through the wall.

You've never really seen Dark Knight until you've seen the car chase accompanied by 'S.O.S'"
~ Lone Ranger




"You're the one talking to the imaginary people who live in the magic thinky box."
~ Pól Rua




"I can't believe it's not anarchy."
~ twilight, on Johnny Rotten's butter endorsement




"Note to self - Never ask a dyslexic for his password."
~ Athena Bast




"Wall-E inspired me to meet more fat people."
~ Cayman




Fabian: "I'm just a man. Men love tits. Therefore I love tits. It's such a great philosophical equation that it's almost Platonic."
Spike-X: "There's nothing platonic about my love for tits.

BELIEVE ME."

howyadoin
10-10-2008, 11:36 PM
Part Deux:

jessecuster3: "Dammit, I have too many Transformers."
Agent Helix: "The entire universe just made that record scratch stop noise."




"Teen Titans is routinely bad, and in very predictable ways. You can guarantee it'll be annoyingly dour, contain at least one scene or panel that has no place in a general readers book whatsoever, and be utterly bereft of a reason for why any of these characters are associating with one another, let alone what they stand for as superheroes. And all in the guise of recapturing the feel of 25-year-old comics that it couldn't be more unlike. It's like a love letter to a person you've never met, praising them for personality traits that they don't have, and which are actually common symptoms of deep-seated mental illness."
~ Michael P



gary bolt: "I thought Britney Spears/Ginger Spice dude was a harmless entertaining whack-job until I read his latest thread as the third incarnation that we know of. Not so much, it turns out. How is it that he can keep changing his name and continue posting here?"
mattx110: "New IP, new login info.

Can't really stop them from coming back if they want to."
gary bolt: "So that's your secret."

Nick Soapdish
10-10-2008, 11:44 PM
Now, I feel even worse that I'm not keeping up in RITA's anymore.

It's nice to see the highlights in Sportscenter, but no comparison to the real game.

(And yes, I know it's not all there.)

Athena Bast
10-10-2008, 11:56 PM
I'm going to admit I feel a bit shiny having made it to a digest.

howyadoin
10-10-2008, 11:57 PM
I'm going to admit I feel a bit shiny having made it to a digest.I laughed my ass off over that one.

glue
10-11-2008, 12:00 AM
"You HAVE no defensible position. There's nothing in your position to attack. You are literally not even making an argument, you're just screaming at the top of your lungs about how unfair life is because you have a dick. That's wrong. Everything you're saying is wrong. I actually don't think I've ever seen someone be quite as wrong as you are right now. You've somehow managed to redefine wrong, turn being wrong into a new form of self expression. You're the goddamn Picasso of incorrectness, breaking boundaries and expanding the artform of having your head up your ass. So thank you, this is like watching a fucking master at work. The world is your canvas, and your paint is BULLSHIT."
~ Agent Helix


What is this from?


Helix is the most consistently entertaining person here.

stealthwise
10-11-2008, 01:41 PM
The Batman and Wall-E movie quotations were my favourites this time around.

The Beast Of Yucca Flats
10-11-2008, 01:52 PM
"You HAVE no defensible position. There's nothing in your position to attack. You are literally not even making an argument, you're just screaming at the top of your lungs about how unfair life is because you have a dick. That's wrong. Everything you're saying is wrong. I actually don't think I've ever seen someone be quite as wrong as you are right now. You've somehow managed to redefine wrong, turn being wrong into a new form of self expression. You're the goddamn Picasso of incorrectness, breaking boundaries and expanding the artform of having your head up your ass. So thank you, this is like watching a fucking master at work. The world is your canvas, and your paint is BULLSHIT."
~ Agent Helix


What is this from?

A rebuttal to the now gone & lamented (stop giggling) Johnny_Luck over on YABS. It was in a topic about Male Privelage in our society. Apparently, in Johnny-land, men and women do in fact have identical chances of being sexually assaulted (among many other things). Helix, of course, respectfully disagreed with this.

glue
10-11-2008, 02:47 PM
A rebuttal to the now gone & lamented (stop giggling) Johnny_Luck over on YABS. It was in a topic about Male Privelage in our society. Apparently, in Johnny-land, men and women do in fact have identical chances of being sexually assaulted (among many other things). Helix, of course, respectfully disagreed with this.

I remember that thread. I guess I bowed out before Helix got a chance to shine.

Corrina
10-11-2008, 03:25 PM
I'm going to admit I feel a bit shiny having made it to a digest.

I am feeling shiny right there with you, especially since I don't post at Comm that often.

Well, except for football & politics.

Chris N
10-11-2008, 03:52 PM
Paul McEnery: "Ping her mercilessly."
Pól Rua: "If that fails, you should flash your gordon."

That would be my favourite.

The advice may have even been directed at me.

stealthwise
10-11-2008, 04:28 PM
A rebuttal to the now gone & lamented (stop giggling) Johnny_Luck over on YABS. It was in a topic about Male Privelage in our society. Apparently, in Johnny-land, men and women do in fact have identical chances of being sexually assaulted (among many other things). Helix, of course, respectfully disagreed with this.

You know, now that you mention it, I always wondered if perhaps Johnny was posting from prison. If that was the case, he might have had a point there.

mattx110
10-11-2008, 05:30 PM
Wow, I can almost taste the passive aggressive.
also
"You're the one talking to the imaginary people who live in the magic thinky box."
~ Pól Rua

!!!!:biggrin:

Ronald Bryan
10-11-2008, 07:29 PM
CBR continues to be funny. Good job all!

For the rest of you, we need more funny.

morna
10-11-2008, 07:46 PM
"You HAVE no defensible position. There's nothing in your position to attack. You are literally not even making an argument, you're just screaming at the top of your lungs about how unfair life is because you have a dick. That's wrong. Everything you're saying is wrong. I actually don't think I've ever seen someone be quite as wrong as you are right now. You've somehow managed to redefine wrong, turn being wrong into a new form of self expression. You're the goddamn Picasso of incorrectness, breaking boundaries and expanding the artform of having your head up your ass. So thank you, this is like watching a fucking master at work. The world is your canvas, and your paint is BULLSHIT."
~ Agent Helix


What is this from?


Helix is the most consistently entertaining person here.

god I'm crying tears of mirth over here

Helix was on FIRE! this ... um unit

Nick Soapdish
10-11-2008, 07:50 PM
A rebuttal to the now gone & lamented (stop giggling) Johnny_Luck over on YABS. It was in a topic about Male Privelage in our society. Apparently, in Johnny-land, men and women do in fact have identical chances of being sexually assaulted (among many other things). Helix, of course, respectfully disagreed with this.

He's actually gone for good this time?

The Beast Of Yucca Flats
10-11-2008, 08:05 PM
He's actually gone for good this time?

I assume so. As I recall, he got banned the first time for calling folks 'retarded' & whatnot when they were joking/dicking around in a chat about the current-- just first announced at the time-- Gates/Igle direction for Supergirl (as he's a major apologist for Loeb/Turner/Churchill/etc. interpretation); then was banned again for going nuclear in the abovementioned 'Male Privelage' topic with Helix & quite a few others; and a third time for stirring the pot-- or trying to-- in YABS's Presidential Election thread (or if not that one, one of YABS's political threads).


Curse my memory & abundance of free time.

Nick Soapdish
10-11-2008, 09:25 PM
I assume so. As I recall, he got banned the first time for calling folks 'retarded' & whatnot when they were joking/dicking around in a chat about the current-- just first announced at the time-- Gates/Igle direction for Supergirl (as he's a major apologist for Loeb/Turner/Churchill/etc. interpretation); then was banned again for going nuclear in the abovementioned 'Male Privelage' topic with Helix & quite a few others; and a third time for stirring the pot-- or trying to-- in YABS's Presidential Election thread (or if not that one, one of YABS's political threads).


Curse my memory & abundance of free time.

The last one was one of the debate threads. It's when he finally made it on my Ignore list.

jessecuster3
10-11-2008, 10:59 PM
Chris Nowlin: "Man it's been a long time since I was funny."
FunkyGreenJerusalem: "Longer than you think."



Ronald Bryan: "I want the guy who does the narration on Pushing Dasies to follow me around and narrate my life."
Chris Nowlin: "Nothing's happening, nothing's happening..."




You planned this, didn't you?

Chris, you were actually funny.


Awesome digest as always, thanks for putting these together.

morna
10-11-2008, 11:13 PM
You planned this, didn't you?

Chris, you were actually funny.


Awesome digest as always, thanks for putting these together.

good to start things off with a belly laugh - no?

Spike-X
10-12-2008, 12:28 AM
I'm going to admit I feel a bit shiny having made it to a digest.

I laughed my ass off over that one.

That one was a pisser, wasn't it?

Paradox
10-12-2008, 12:55 AM
Ooo, EXTENDED digest! Excellent!

Ah, well, at least I made it in as a straight man. :wink:

mattx110
10-12-2008, 12:57 AM
Ooo, EXTENDED digest! Excellent!

Ah, well, at least I made it in as a straight man. :wink:
I didn't realize there was a quota... brb, counting how much Algren got in there.

Paradox
10-12-2008, 12:58 AM
What can I say? Teh gayz is funny. :tongue:

thehod
10-12-2008, 01:05 AM
Ah, well, at least I made it in as a straight man. :wink:

And a top notch one you are too.

As always howy, these are a joy to read.

fly on the wall
10-12-2008, 03:25 PM
I can't believe I made the Digest. I used to reign supreme on the Digests but I haven't had much to laugh about lately.

I hope some day soon I can once again earn the honor of being in the digest. Don't just force some comment I make into the Digest out of pity. I only want to be in the Digest if I've earned it.

Oh shit I just wrote a whole post about the Digest without one grain of humor in it.

howyadoin
10-12-2008, 03:32 PM
I can't believe I made the Digest. I used to reign supreme on the Digests but I haven't had much to laugh about lately.

I hope some day soon I can once again earn the honor of being in the digest. Don't just force some comment I make into the Digest out of pity. I only want to be in the Digest if I've earned it.

Oh shit I just wrote a whole post about the Digest without one grain of humor in it.You used to be the King, my friend.

Maybe you're just too happy now.

Ronald Bryan
10-12-2008, 04:26 PM
I can't believe I made the Digest. I used to reign supreme on the Digests but I haven't had much to laugh about lately.

I hope some day soon I can once again earn the honor of being in the digest. Don't just force some comment I make into the Digest out of pity. I only want to be in the Digest if I've earned it.

Oh shit I just wrote a whole post about the Digest without one grain of humor in it.
You also had over 25,000 posts back then. So there was a wide array of fly material to choose from.

But now you're too busy forcing kittens into being TV stars. Bad show, sir. Bad show.

Gary_B
10-12-2008, 04:29 PM
Thanks for another great compilation, 'doin.

FunkyGreenJerusalem
10-13-2008, 01:03 AM
Pól Rua: "If that fails, you should flash your gordon."


Pol is some sort of comedy god.

Slam_Bradley
10-13-2008, 10:11 AM
Back in with a bad pun. Clearly a bad month for humor. Or Howy's standards are slipping.


Otherwise a nice digest.

howyadoin
10-13-2008, 01:18 PM
Or Howy's standards are slipping.I am getting old.

Gary_B
10-13-2008, 01:24 PM
I am getting old.

Getting old?

Pól Rua
10-13-2008, 06:24 PM
No love for "The boy who Crisised Wolf"?
I thought I was gonna lose it over that one.

But if you MUST continue to talk about how hilarious I am, feel free.

Another great Digest, howy.

Mac Danny
10-13-2008, 08:55 PM
No love for "The boy who Crisised Wolf"?
I thought I was gonna lose it over that one.

But if you MUST continue to talk about how hilarious I am, feel free.

Another great Digest, howy.


You a funny lil bastard and you know it.

Great Digest, thanks a ton Howy!

Nitmo
10-14-2008, 11:49 AM
dammit, missed another one, maybe I'll start actually posting and get in

Libaax
10-14-2008, 11:55 AM
No love for "The boy who Crisised Wolf"?
I thought I was gonna lose it over that one.

But if you MUST continue to talk about how hilarious I am, feel free.

Another great Digest, howy.

That line by Xenos is the best i have seen in the forums !

So well put and funny that it killed me like only David Chapelle or Robin Williams can !!


More funny because its true and i have thought 1000 times "jeez the 1000th crisis,how many more can they create in so few years ".....

Dom
10-14-2008, 01:00 PM
The only time I make the digest is when I make vague, sexual references to myself and to what others can do to me. And by others, I mean Tadgh.