pakx
09-19-2008, 08:44 PM
these are a couple pages of a comic book i'm working on with artist Reuben Briganca. feel free to post thoughts and criticism, i'll put some artwork up for you cats too.
Enjoy.
DAME:
Page One:
An empty room. Do panels, so a splash, whatever you want too, the only defining characteristics of this room should be a large, steel door with a small wire-glass window, a table, and two chairs.(1,2,3,4,5,6)
1 – BOX: So what’s the score, Lazenby? Keeping tabs on your boy?
2 – BOX: Best I can.
3 – BOX: How many?
4 – BOX: Just the one.
5 – BOX: This week?
6 – BOX: Just the one.
Page Two:
Try to make this spastic, jumpy, lots of close ups and tight shots. Dame, barely visible, grabbing someone, also barely visible by the throat, and smashing them into the wall.(1,2) Dame throws the guy on the floor, then shoot back to the room, there’s now two people sitting in the room, Parole Officer Miranda Lazenby, and Special Sergeant Kirk Moorley.(3,4,5,6)
1 – DAME: Rrrr….
2 – ALBERTO: Oh, G-Kkk!
3 – MOORLEY: So fill me in.
4 – LAZENBY: He’s on the move.
5 – MOORLEY: we expect that?
6 – LAZENBY: Not really, no.
Page Three:
Dame breaks a chair over the victim (Alberto’s)(1) back. He uses one of the broken chair legs to smack the guy in the head, turning him onto his back,(2) then stabs the pointed end of the chair leg into the guy’s shoulder, pinning him. Have a close shot of Alberto’s mouth screaming, if you think it’ll fit. Lazenby reaches over and drops a file on the table, it’s thick and filled with earmarks and post-its.
1 – ALBERTO: Guh-!
2 – ALBERTO: No-Aaaaaaaa!
Page Four:
Laz and Moorley stare at eachother, a thin line of steam rises from Laz’ coffee cup.(1) They both look at the folder, now open, with a picture of Dame, clean cut, no scars, he looks almost scared. This is his prison photo. Make sure to write “GREGORY DAME: PRISONER 5834632. in the shot of the photo, have, barely visible, on the edge, a picture of Dame now, just the corner of the photo, but enough to see his mad red eyes.(2) cut to Dame’s eye itself. Dame grits his teeth and twists the chair leg in his shoulder. If you want, have a nice big closeup of his flesh tearing against the chair leg as it twists to emphasize movement.
3 – MOORLEY: So what the fuck, Laz?
4 – LAZENBY: good god damn question.
Enjoy.
DAME:
Page One:
An empty room. Do panels, so a splash, whatever you want too, the only defining characteristics of this room should be a large, steel door with a small wire-glass window, a table, and two chairs.(1,2,3,4,5,6)
1 – BOX: So what’s the score, Lazenby? Keeping tabs on your boy?
2 – BOX: Best I can.
3 – BOX: How many?
4 – BOX: Just the one.
5 – BOX: This week?
6 – BOX: Just the one.
Page Two:
Try to make this spastic, jumpy, lots of close ups and tight shots. Dame, barely visible, grabbing someone, also barely visible by the throat, and smashing them into the wall.(1,2) Dame throws the guy on the floor, then shoot back to the room, there’s now two people sitting in the room, Parole Officer Miranda Lazenby, and Special Sergeant Kirk Moorley.(3,4,5,6)
1 – DAME: Rrrr….
2 – ALBERTO: Oh, G-Kkk!
3 – MOORLEY: So fill me in.
4 – LAZENBY: He’s on the move.
5 – MOORLEY: we expect that?
6 – LAZENBY: Not really, no.
Page Three:
Dame breaks a chair over the victim (Alberto’s)(1) back. He uses one of the broken chair legs to smack the guy in the head, turning him onto his back,(2) then stabs the pointed end of the chair leg into the guy’s shoulder, pinning him. Have a close shot of Alberto’s mouth screaming, if you think it’ll fit. Lazenby reaches over and drops a file on the table, it’s thick and filled with earmarks and post-its.
1 – ALBERTO: Guh-!
2 – ALBERTO: No-Aaaaaaaa!
Page Four:
Laz and Moorley stare at eachother, a thin line of steam rises from Laz’ coffee cup.(1) They both look at the folder, now open, with a picture of Dame, clean cut, no scars, he looks almost scared. This is his prison photo. Make sure to write “GREGORY DAME: PRISONER 5834632. in the shot of the photo, have, barely visible, on the edge, a picture of Dame now, just the corner of the photo, but enough to see his mad red eyes.(2) cut to Dame’s eye itself. Dame grits his teeth and twists the chair leg in his shoulder. If you want, have a nice big closeup of his flesh tearing against the chair leg as it twists to emphasize movement.
3 – MOORLEY: So what the fuck, Laz?
4 – LAZENBY: good god damn question.