Sequential Script Challenge #7: An Urban Fairy Tale -- The Adventurer wins!

[mattbib]

Here's the concept:
Posters were asked to write a three page script utilizing some character, team, or plot device decided upon by the winner of the previous Sequential Art Challenge. Writers had approximately two weeks to submit their scripts.

The seventh theme, suggested by Viktor Bogdanovic, winner of Sequential Art Challenge #6, was "An Urban Fairy Tale?". How this was interpreted was entirely up to each writer.

Now that the submission period has concluded it's time to vote to decide which script will be used in the Sequential Art Challenge. Use the poll to vote but please leave constructive comments in a post.

Using the winning script, artists will submit their sequentials and, after a couple weeks, they'll be voted on as well.

There are no rules other than following the theme and meeting the deadline. There are no prizes, so those of you just wanting to have fun shouldn't be discouraged from participating, even if you are unsure of your talent.

For this third round, voting will end on Monday, September 8.

So without further ado let's take a look at our submissions...

[mattbib]

Page 1

Panel 1: Tight shot of a hospital room. A little girl has just died and her father dressed in business attire is at her bedside with his face in his hands. The room of course has his wife and some hospital staff.

Panel 2: The wife is by his side consoling him as he is melting with sadness.

Panel 3: He brushes her off and runs out of the room

Panel 4: From the cameras point of view we now see him running frantically from the hospital entrance where a blanket of snow covers the city. (For any back ground references in any panels on pg 1 think New York City)

Panel 5: From his point of view he is now running on a sidewalk. The area looks like a park by a slightly frozen pond. We also see a dirty old man with a dirty beard sitting on a bench with a tin can, the main tool of a beggar.

Panel 6: Still from his point of view: He has slipped and fallen at the old man's feet and he looks up at the old man still sitting un moved.

Old Man: About time you got here Laz.


Page 2

Panel 1: Now sitting on the bench at oppisite ends. Laz (The running Man) looks like any business man would look after eating concrete while losing his most beloved on earth. The Old Man holds his can up as an off panel pedistrian is comming and the old man is keeping with his career.

Laz: How did you know my name?

Panel 2: Head shot of the oldman.

Old Man: With living over 400 years on the planet you learn a few things.

Panel 3: Huge panel that is like a montage of the Old Man's account

I was born January 1st in the rear 1601. My father was a well placed scholar for King James. He was the chief administrator over the great King's biggest accomplishment, the translation of The Holy Bible from Hebrew, Armaiac, Greek to English. All of the scholoars took him the proof-read translations and after his careful inspection he pointed out the errors or approved the piece. On 1611 King James presented my father with a golden scroll containing the manuscript of The Holy Bible for all of his hard work that was now completeted that took over 40 years. My family was very wealthy but no riches could save them from the plague. I became an orphan and after seeing the suffering of many, many people my heart broke and when I saw the children now orphaned like me and sick, I gave all of my wealth to them and then I begged when I had nothing left and gave them what I begged for. This is what I still do today but time runs short for Gaberial has told me that he is to call for me on December 26th 2011.


Page 3

Panel 1: Head shot of Laz who has the look of utter confusion.

Laz: Why tell me this insane story you crazy old man!

Panel 2: Head Shot of Old man.

Old Man: Because sometimes you have to lose the greatest thing in life to give life to this world. I will be calling on you in 3 years Laz.

Panel 3: The old man now standing nods to Laz and slightly tips his hat.

Old Man: I stay at the Retirement home across from the hospital if you wish to talk before then.

Panel 4: Laz sees an old tattered book where the old man was sitting.

Small panels 5-7: At the artist descrestion 3 panels of the tattered scrap book neeeds to convey photos, newspaper clippings, or any thing that gives crediabilty to the old man's account of a long life.

Panel 8: December 25th 2011. Laz sitting by a roaring fire. His wife is holding their their new-born.

Wife: Do you really thing he will come?

Laz: Yes, because Gaberial said he would be bring him himself.

[mattbib]

First timer here...
Artists are welcome to change panels to flow with the story if they want.
Hope you guys like it. :smile:

(Page 1, 8 Panels)

PANEL 1: Completely black.
CAP: If I only had a sword…

PANEL 2: (its dark outside) in a large room (like abandoned warehouse looking) there’s a young man (Name: Stir) tied up with his eyes closed and on his knees. Standing behind him is a large creature that looks like a flesh colored frog/human hybrid it’s got warts and other large deformities all over it (this is a troll). The troll has a large dagger to the back of the young mans neck. Behind the troll and the man another troll is standing, holding a torch.
CAP: In the movies swords always help in these kinds of situations…
CAP: (Cont’d) Or is it ruby slippers? …I am so screwed.
OFF PANEL: Where is the stone, human?

PANEL 3: Looking from behind the young man (so the back of his head and the back of the troll are visible) at a hooded figure, tall and thin, face shrouded in darkness. It wears a tattered, hooded cloak and it is dripping wet. Name: Felrow.
STIR: I don’t know, I uh… I can’t see.
FELROW: Open your eyes!

PANEL 4: Reverse shot of the front of the young man with his eyes still closed. Behind the trolls you can see an open door with the silhouette of a man and a dog (German Shepard) inside of it. (The mans name is Kylo and the dogs name is Artie)
STIR: I really, really don’t want to.
KYLO: Are we too late for our arrival to be considered fashionable?

PANEL 5: A close up look on the man (dark haired and thin) and the dog standing in the doorway, the dog’s teeth are bared.
ARTIE: No, I’d say we’re right on time.
KYLO: Let the boy go Felrow, he doesn’t know where the princess is.
STIR: (Off Panel) Princess? I thought he wanted a stone?

PANEL 6: Same as panel 4 except now the man and the dog have advanced toward the group. Stir has his eyes open and he’s looking towards the troll.
STIR: Is that a torch? You know this place has electricity right? ARTIE!?

PANEL 7: A shot of Felrow looking towards the group.
FELROW: Kill the slave and the beast, leave the boy alive. I’m afraid I must be going now Kylo, farewell.

PANEL 8: Same shot except Felrow has disappeared and there are large drops of water floating in the air.
STIR: (Off Panel) What the hell is going on?!


(Page 2, 8 Panels)

PANEL 1: A wide shot of the entire group all facing each other. The troll with the torch has a hold of the back of Stir’s shirt.
ARTIE: I’ll grab Stir, you kill the trolls.
KYLO: With pleasure.
STIR: Great, now my fucking dog is talking… First trolls and creepy cloaked assholes and now my fucking dog is talking. This day just keeps getting better and better.

PANEL 2: A shot of the Troll with the dagger running at Kylo whose arm appears to have turned into a large wooden stake.

PANEL 3: Kylo’s stake/arm is through the troll’s neck whose arms are hanging lifeless at its sides.
TROLL: (Off Panel) GRAHHH!
STIR: (Off Panel) I think that that pissed him off guys.

PANEL 4: Artie (with teeth bared) looking towards the troll, who is standing In front of Stir (still on his knees) holding the torch towards Artie.
ARTIE: Hand over the kid or I go Cujo on your ass.
TROLL: GRAHDARBLAKFROLL!
STIR: Huh?

PANEL 5: A shot of the troll with Stir behind him (looking confused), the ground seems to be cracking and breaking and the troll is sinking into the dirt.
STIR: Oh, what the fuck?

PANEL 6: The troll has disappeared and there’s now a big hole in the floor, Stir is looking down at it and Artie is going towards him.
ARTIE: Are you okay Kylo?
STIR: Oh man, I thought he’d never leave.

PANEL 7: A shot of Kylo walking towards Artie and Stir, his arm is back to normal but is covered in blood. The Troll is lying dead on the ground behind him.
KYLO: I’m fine, we need to go…

PANEL 8: A close up on Kylo’s face, he’s looking up with a stern/wary expression on his face.
SFX: BOOM! (or something to that effect haha)
KYLO: …Now.


(Page 3, 7 Panels)

PANEL 1: A shot of the trio, Artie has the ropes that Stir was tied up with in his mouth and Stir is rubbing his wrists.
STIR: I’m not going anywhere until someone tells me what the hell is going on. There’s a stone, and a princess? And my dog can talk? Seriously, what the hell?
KYLO: We don’t have time…
SFX: BOOM!

PANEL 2: Artie and Stir (who is now standing) facing Kylo.
STIR: Well, make some time.
ARTIE: You can tell him while we run.
KYLO: Fine…

PANEL 3: The trio moving towards the door of the warehouse.
KYLO: You know that scar you have on the inside of your forearm?
STIR: Yeah?

PANEL 4: A close up on Stir’s forearm where a large scar is clearly visible.
KYLO: Well, we're pretty sure that the Gnome princess is living in it.
SFX: BOOM!

PANEL 5: Stir grabbing Kylo’s arm and looking confused and pissed.
STIR: And what about the stone? Wait… There’s a princess? Living in my arm?
KYLO: Felrow believed the princess may have taken the form of a stone, or a seashell. She of course used your skin as a nest knowing he wouldn't think to look there.
SFX: BOOM!

PANEL 6: Kylo has opened the door and they’re stepping outside.
STIR: Oh yeah, well of course. And who the hell is Felrow?!
KYLO: Felrow is a Sea Elf and really just an all around asshole. He wants to use the princess’ power to turn the entire planet into an ocean and kill off most of the population.
SFX: BOOM! BOOM!
STIR: An ocean? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT NOISE?!

PANEL 7: The trio looking towards the sky, Stir looks frightened while Artie bares his teeth and Kylo looks wary.
KYLO: Giants…

[mattbib]

QUEEN OF THE HOBOS
By Jim Purcell

CHARACTERS(in order of appearance)
HOBO - A homeless man who holds a magical secret as King of the Hobos.
ASHLEY - A young charitable girl who gets separated from her selfish mother on a crowded city street.
ASHLEY'S MOTHER - A stylish mother in her mid twenties, selfish and rude.
GANGBANGERS - A pair of street ruffians up to no good.


PAGE 1

PANEL 1: EST. EXT. A busy city street. The Hobo is sitting on the sidewalk, his back against a wall. He's hunched over, his face in shadow, not paying attention to the crowd of passer's by. He has a tin can setting in front of him that he uses to collect change from passersby. Ashley is standing in front of the Hobo looking down at him and his can.

PANEL 2: Ashley has out stretch her hand and released a number of coins and bills to fall into the can.

PANEL 3: Ashley reacts to her mother shouting at her from off panel.

MOTHER: ASHLEY! What are you doing!

PANEL 4: Ashley's Mother has grabbed Ashley by the hand is yanking her forcefully away from the Hobo.

MOTHER: I can't turn my back on you for a second. Throwing all your money away to that filthy old man...

PANEL 5: In the foreground the Hobo has reached out one finger on one hand to drag his donation can toward himself. Receding in the distance down the sidewalk Ashley and her mother are disappearing into the crowd. The mother is still yanking Ashley along, Ashley is struggling against her mother's grip.

MOTHER: Ashley! Ow! Stop pulling!


PAGE 2

PANEL 1: Ashley has yanked her hand free of her mother.

PANEL 2: Ashley is running away from her mother on the crowded sidewalk, the Mother is shouting in anger. Ashley is sticking her tongue out at her mother as she runs.

MOTHER: Ashley! Get back here right now!

PANEL 3: Ext. Est. A dark dirty alley. Ashley has ducked into the alley to escape her mother. She's not paying attention to where she is going, instead she is looking behind her, keeping an eye out for her mother.

PANEL 4: Ashley runs headlong into a gangbanger and his cohort.

GANGBANGER: Hey! Watch it!

PANEL 5: Ashley takes a step back in fear as the gangbanger brandishes a knife and grins. His cohort is also grinning and making a threatening advance.

GANGBANGER: Kid looks rich, better hand over your money kid.

PANEL 6: The Gangbangers are turning their heads to respond to a voice coming from behind them. The Hobo is standing behind them masked by the darkness of the alley. His eyes are pupilless and glowing in the dark, peering out between the Gangbangers' heads.

HOBO: You boys really should pick on someone your own size.


PAGE 3

PANEL 1: The Hobo has taken the form of a monster. He still looks human, only he's taller and more lanky. His fingers are each extremely long, tipped by razor sharp nails. The Hobo has impaled the Gangbanger holding the knife on his long clawed hand.

GANGBANGER: Urk

PANEL 2: The Hobo has decapitated the second Gangbanger with a swipe of his other hand.

GANGBANGER2: Shiiii...

PANEL 3: The Hobo is shapeshifting back into human form via a morphing sequence traveling across the panel. He starts standing revealed in full monster mode and progresses to him being in a crouching position in full human form with one hand on Ashley's shoulder consoling her.

HOBO: Are you okay Ashley?

ASHLEY: Y...yes. What are you?

HOBO: I am the King of the Hobos. I protect those who can't protect themselves on the streets.

ASHLEY: Wow.

HOBO: But I'm getting old. And I've been searching for someone as selfless as I to take up my burden. Ashley, would you like to come with me to become Queen of the Hobos?

PANEL 4: Ashley has a look of deep thought as she contemplates the offer.

ASHLEY: Oh that would be so wonderful. By my mother...

PANEL 5: The Hobo has a dark look on his face as he stares down at Ashley.

HOBO: Ashley, your Mother cares nothing for you. If she truly cared would she not have been here to find you already?

PANEL 6: The Hobo has taken Ashley's hand and is leading her deeper into the alley, into the darkness. In the middleground the two dead Gangbangers lay. In the foreground there are several trash bags piled around some garbage cans. Under the pile of trash one of the Mother's legs is sticking out, a stream of blood running away from it.

ASHLEY: Yeah, you're right Mister. Am I really going to be a Queen?

HOBO: Yes Ashley. Yes indeed.

CAPTION: THE END

[mattbib]

HOLDING COURT
writer: Michael Johnson

PAGE 1

Panel 1
A young man (TONY) is dunking a basketball on a rim with no net. He is playing on a cement, outdoor court surrounded by a chain-link fence. There are a few outstretched hands trying to defend him.

Panel 2
Close up of Tony, still hanging from the rim.

TONY: Yeah fools! That’s right! Game.

Panel 3
Close up of the basketball ball bouncing towards an old man (MARLON) sitting against the fence surrounding the court.

TONY (off panel): Who’s next? Who thinks they can hang?

Panel 4
Marlon is holding the basketball as Tony approaches him.

TONY: Hey old man, you mind giving back my ball? My boys and I gotta hold court.

Panel 5, 6, 7
Three panel zoom in on Marlon’s eye as it narrows.

MARLON: Court, you say?

PAGE 2

Panel 1
Large panel. 3/4 view from above. Marlon and Tony are standing in spotlights in an inky black space. There is a spotlight on a basketball hoop behind Marlon as he faces Tony.

MARLON: You know nothing of court. Court is where justice is brought, and good prevails over evil. Court is where the guilty are served. This is court...

Panel 2
Marlon holds the ball out in front of him, offering it to Tony.

MARLON: ...and it is in session.

Panel 3
Tony sneers and takes the ball.

TONY: I hope you’re ready old man.

Panel 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Basketball sequence with Marlon clearly outplaying Tony. Tony has the ball stolen, gets dunked on, shot over, blocked, etc.

PAGE 3

Panel 1
Medium shot of Tony, sweating profusely with his hands on his knees.

MARLON (off panel): Game over.

Panel 2
Close up of Marlon.

MARLON: What did we learn?

Panel 3
Tony looks up at Marlon, slightly confused.

TONY: Man, I didn’t learn a –

Panel 4
Marlon pulls Tony’s face close to his, looking directly into the youngsters eyes.

MARLON: We learned there is always someone out there better than you. So be humble.

Panel 5
Tony is standing alone, with the basketball in his hand.

MARLON (off panel): And if you forget, I’ll be around to remind you.

Panel 6
Tony is suddenly standing back on the court he started out on. In the background we see his buddies waiting for him to come play. Tony is holding the basketball in his hands.

FRIEND: Yo T! We gonna play or what?

TONY: Yeah...yeah. I’ll be right there.

[mattbib]

Page 1

Panel 1: A detective (looking like the standard noirish sort) stands in front of a restaraunt called "The Golden Dragon".

Narration: The Golden Dragon. All you can eat buffet. Definitely the Pigs' sort of place.

Series of subsequent panels: He's inside and looking around.

Final panel: He catches sight of three obese children, two boys, one girl, sitting at a corner booth, chowing on food.

Narration: Those are the Three Little Pigs. They aren't actual pigs, they just eat a lot. And without much civility, either. So, someone says they "eat like pigs" and over time it just sticks. Hasn't stopped 'em from eating.

Page 2

Panel 1: Detective stands beside the table.

Panels 2-4: Small, rapid panels in a line. Shows each of the three children looking up. Panel 4 should be of the eldest boy.

Narration: Kevin. Patty. Ham.

Panel 5: Slight deviation of Panel 4. The eldest Pig squints angrily.

Line: "Greg Turpin. What do you want?"

Panel 6: Close-up on Turpin, his face resolute.

Line: "Information. And I know you have it."

Narration: The Big Bad Wolf is dead. Of course they have information.

Page 3

A montage page of the things Turpin will describe (see narration below), starting with a shot of Turpin's face, fading into the sequence.

Narration: Everyone knows the story of the Three Little Pigs, right? Wrong. The story actually goes like this. Their mother was a researcher, trying to to find the Fountain of Youth, largely for vanity. She eventually had a lead and sent her pubescent children to find it. (I don't even know her reasons.) So, they went to the sight and built three houses. Kevin chose hay. That's what they had back home. Pam chose sticks. Ham chose bricks. (Again, I don't know how a kid knows how to mortar. Work with me.) Soon enough, the wolves took notice. Wanting the Fountain for themselves, they sent out "The Big Bad"...

[mattbib]

THE POTBROWNIE MAN
by SHANNON CRONIN
Inspired by the short story “The Gingerbread Man”

PAGE 1

Panel 1
It’s daytime and we are in a very bad neighborhood. We see a run down looking house that hasn’t seen a fresh coat of paint in decades. The house has a front porch which is littered with boxes and garbage. Security bars are affixed to the windows. A chain link fence surrounds it.

A couple kids are out front riding bicycles and waiting to start some type of shit with whoever looks at them the wrong way.

From inside house: GATHER ROUND LITTLE MO’ FUCKAS, GATHER ROUND!

Panel 2
We are now inside the home and we see three young children, two boys and one girl, sitting around a fat man in a beat down recliner. The fat man’s name is J-Jay. J-Jay is maybe in his mid-fifties and appears as if the idea of a shower is foreign to him. He sports a light blue bandana around his head which reminds him of his youth.

J-Jay: I’M GONNA TELL Y’ALL A TRUE STORY. A STORY THAT TAKES PLACE ABOUT 30 YEARS AGO.

Panel 3
One of the little boys rolls his eyes, showing a lack of respect for him grandpa J-Jay.

Little Boy: OH GREAT, ANOTHER WHACK ASS FAIRY TALE.

Panel 4
Close up on J-Jay who gives the little boy a death stare.

J-Jay: NIGGA, DON’T MAKE ME BREAK YA OFF SOMETHIN!

Panel 5
The little boy looks scared and is no longer perspiring disrespect.

Panel 6
J-Jay sits back in the beat down recliner to get a little more relaxed.
The little girl sits next to him. You can tell she loves her grandpa.

J-Jay: THAZ WAT I THOUGHT.

“ “: NOW WHERE WAS I?

Little Girl: 30 YEARS AGO…

J-Jay: AH, THAT’S RIGHT. 30 YEARS AGO…

PAGE 2

Panel 1
We see a younger J-Jay, about 20 years old, and another guy sitting in a small living room, playing video games. J-Jay is wearing a basketball jersey and the same blue bandanna we see him with 30 years later. The other guy, Frostie, is wearing a wife beater, a backwards baseball cap and he is very skinny. Both guys wear baggy pants. Both of them are stoned as hell.

A bong can be seen on the coffee table in front of them.

A kitchen can be seen behind them. Some smoke is starting to creep out of the oven which is set to 375 degrees.

Caption: ME AND YOUR UNCLE FROSTIE, GOD REST HIS SOUL, WAS PLAYING SOME VIDEO GAMES AND BAKING UP SOME BROWNIES…

Frostie: DAMN HOMES, I AM SO FUCKED UP RIGHT NOW.

J-Jay: I FEEL YOU BRO, I CAN BARLEY SEE STRAIGHT.

Panel 2
We see Frostie stick his nose is the air and is now facing the kitchen.

Frostie: AH SHIT HOMES! I THINK OUR BROWNIES BE READY!

Panel 3
Both of the guys are in the kitchen. J-Jay is taking a pan, which contains brownies, out of the oven.

J-Jay: DAMN BRO! THESE POT BROWNIES ARE GOING TO HIT THE MO’ FUCKIN’ SPOT, YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYIN?

Frostie: WORD.

“ “ HOLD UP, I HAVE AN IDEA.

Panel 4
We see Frostie has opened up a drawer in the kitchen and is grabbing something out.

Panel 5
Frostie shows J-Jay a metal gingerbread man utensil used to make shapes in food.

Frostie: CHECK IT OUT G! WE CAN MAKE OUR OWN LITTLE POT BROWNIE MAN.

J-Jay: AHHHHHHH SHIIIIT!

PAGE 3

Panel 1
We see a close up shot of the pan of brownies that have been placed on top of the oven. A hand can be seen pushing the gingerbread man utensil into the brownies.

Off: CHECK IT OUT YO!

Panel 2
Very similar to panel 1 except the utensil is no longer being pushed into the brownies but is instead being held of to the side. We can see the “potbrownie man’s” figure and outline in the batch of brownies.

Off: MAN I’M STARVING G. I’M GOING TO EAT HIS ARMS FIRST!

Panel 3
We see J-Jay and Frostie standing over the pan ready to dig into the batch of brownies.

From the batch: CHILL DA FUCK OUT BITCHES! I’M ALIVE!

Panel 4
Close up on the batch of brownies. We can see the potbrownie man sitting up, still in the tray.

Potbrownie Man: WAS UP? YOU’LL ALL PLAYIN’ HALO OR SOME SHIT?

Off: HOLY FUCK!

Off: THAT IS SO TIGHT.

Panel 5
We see a wide view of the kitchen. We see J-Jay and Frostie looking down at the potbrownie man who is now standing on the counter.

Potbrownie Man: WE GOT BITCHES COMING OVER OR ARE YOU TWO ON THE DOWN LOW OR SOME SHIT?

Frostie: NAH MAN, WE AIN’T NO FRUITS OR NUTTIN!

J-Jay: BUT WE SURE AS FUCK ARE HUNGRY!

Panel 6
We see J-Jay go to grab the pot brownie man who has just ducked J-Jay’s attempt.

Potbrownie Man: AHHHHH!

[mattbib]

PAGE ONE

Caption (C): "The river yawns before me..."

Scene: Winter. A river stretches from one side of the panel to the next. A small, badly damaged footbridge disappears into the fog on the distant side, where we can scarcely make out the skyline of a huge city. We see the back of the Scarlet Witch (http://www.comicspace.com/rubyrocket/comics.php?action=read&file_id=187097), or a female assasin-type decked out in red, carrying a duffle bag.

Panel Size: At least one third of the page. Allow some room for the typography.

C: "...time to wake it up and make my delivery. "

Panel Instructions(PI): Close up shot of her legs running, intercut with feats of acrobatics as she avoids obstacles and weaves her way very quickly through monsters of the artist's choosing which dive out of the water and snatch at her every movement. Explosions? Sure, why not.

C: "Maybe Grandmother was right..."

PAGE TWO

PI: Lands deftly on the far bank from some height, with her bag in tow. It is obvious this took a great deal of effort on her part. We see her from the front and are looking back towards where she started. The page is divided into five panels.

C:" ...but then she has been known to underestimate things."

PI: In this panel we see that our heroine is suddenly surrounded by a gang of black clad ninjas, who's only distinction is that each has a different type of weapon.

PI: The Scarlet Witch (or whoever) leaps over the head ninja, pushing his head down with her heel (or hand, whatever) and jumps towards...

PI: ...a passing horse carriage- the kind you find in Central Park or touristy areas. In this panel she lands on the horse's back, which is reared up in surprise.

PI: At this point, she has separated the horse from its carriage and is riding full steam through even more ninjas which are being mowed down by its terrible hooves, tossed one side to the next. She has the reigns in her teeth and is beating the ninjas off with her bag/fists/feet. You can see buildings in the background.

C: "I swear, you would think she were living in a fairy tale world or something."

PAGE THREE

PI: Scarlet Witch (or whoever) is still riding full steam but this time she is more in control, with the reigns in her hands and her bag still in tow. She is riding down a cobblestone street, buildings clearly visible, but heading towards some trees. No more ninjas. This page has only two panels.
C: "I mean, it takes a lot of effort to keep the Big, Bad Wolf at bay."

PI: You guessed it. The horse is caught by this "shot" in the process of throwing its rider, flared nostrils, ears laid flat, and what big eyes it has. It is beyond startled. The wolf is depicted here leaping out of the shadows two thirds larger than the horse. Lots of trees, if buildings, only the faintest hint. (Ok, I leave the monster to the artist's imaginations, but be sure to make the wolf menacing- all teeth and eyes and tougue and hair.)

End

[dumhed01]

My vote is in.
hahaha.
Hopefully there's a lot of voting with all the submissions.

-Mark

[Joe Acro]

I'm voting for Adventurer's. It just has superb art direction. I can cleanly visualize it.

Page 3, Panel 3 may have a bit too much dialogue for one panel, but I think that can be worked around.

[suttercain]

I voted for myself because I am selfish. Thank you.

[The Adventurer]

I'm voting for Adventurer's. It just has superb art direction. I can cleanly visualize it.

Page 3, Panel 3 may have a bit too much dialogue for one panel, but I think that can be worked around.

Yeah, probably. Like I said, I was cramming pretty heavily. The whole thing could probably use a rewrite with a briefer setup. Like only using half of Page 1 to get Ashley into the alley instead of the page and a half I ended up with.

[dumhed01]

4 votes! Wooooo!
haha.
I voted for Acro by the way.

[Joe Acro]

Yeah, probably. Like I said, I was cramming pretty heavily. The whole thing could probably use a rewrite with a briefer setup. Like only using half of Page 1 to get Ashley into the alley instead of the page and a half I ended up with.I can see that.

Still. It's quite well-described as is.

I voted for Acro by the way.
I noticed. Any reason why?

[dumhed01]

I noticed. Any reason why?

I liked the premise and explanation of the three little pigs. :smile:

[LewMoxinsghost]

I really liked the three pigs description too. I thought that was clever.

Any comments or crits on my script? I jammed it out pretty quickly, and it is pretty generic, but I am happy with how the action plays out in my head. I'm implying a ton of stuff instead of describing it, so artists can omit or include stuff like snow, cars, street lamps, etc.

[Joe Acro]

I liked the premise and explanation of the three little pigs. :smile:

I really liked the three pigs description too. I thought that was clever.

Thanks, guys.:smile:

Any comments or crits on my script? I jammed it out pretty quickly, and it is pretty generic, but I am happy with how the action plays out in my head. I'm implying a ton of stuff instead of describing it, so artists can omit or include stuff like snow, cars, street lamps, etc.I find it a little generic. I mean, it's really just a modern retelling of Little Red Riding Hood, with more perils. Within that premise it's interesting, but I think it would've been neater if, say, the Big Bad Wolf were actually the ninjas. And I don't really like those "or whoever" and similar clauses, as it shows a lack of conviction, maybe pandering to the artist too much.

But it is great fun. It allows for artistic freedom and plenty of visually stunning items. Ninjas! A wolf! A horse! A hot chick! Explosions! (Maybe.) Yes. Great fun.

[LewMoxinsghost]

Thanks, guys.:smile:

I find it a little generic. I mean, it's really just a modern retelling of Little Red Riding Hood, with more perils. Within that premise it's interesting, but I think it would've been neater if, say, the Big Bad Wolf were actually the ninjas. And I don't really like those "or whoever" and similar clauses, as it shows a lack of conviction, maybe pandering to the artist too much.

But it is great fun. It allows for artistic freedom and plenty of visually stunning items. Ninjas! A wolf! A horse! A hot chick! Explosions! (Maybe.) Yes. Great fun.

Thanks Joe! Hah, you are right of course. With this three page format, I feel like I am increasingly thinking in terms of this basic panel layout and story flow. I think with the next challenge I may try jamming lots of action into smaller panels- and omit the convictionless anecdotes. You've caught me attempting to appeal to a broad range of artists instead of writing a clear, definitive description. As much as that holds my script's flaws up to the light, I still appreciate it. I am still very new to scriptwriting and these challenges are always interesting. It is input like this that helps me grow as a writer.

Thanks for the vote! Hopefully I can edit that to say "voteS" someday... :)

[Joe Acro]

It saddens me that there are only six votes.

There are more entries than that!

[suttercain]

Tell them to post it as a news announcement on the homepage... won't happen. But it'd get more votes.

[The Adventurer]

It saddens me that there are only six votes.

There are more entries than that!

I'm slightly confused myself. I know we had more voters the last two votes.

I haven't voted yet because... I generally have a hard time voting in competitions I'm participating in. I don't want to be a scrub and vote for myself, and at the same time I don't want to sabatoge myself by voting for someone else's. :redface:

[The Adventurer]

And now we have a four way tie.

"What now Shake?"

[MaxPower]

Oh boy, a four way tie. Maybe we have a wrestle off? Maybe we call it a draw and we go directly to Sequential Script Challenge #8?

Maybe find a unbiased judge to send down the final ruling? Don't we have some creators on the boards here who we could tap?

[mattbib]

I'll read through them all this evening and break the tie. :)

[mattbib]

Good job, The Adventurer, I added my own vote for your entry. Everyone else who entered did a great job also!

Sequential Art Challenge to follow.

[The Adventurer]

Huzzah! Victory is mine. Good show from everyone else. Can't wait to see the artists takes on the script.

[suttercain]

Affirmative Action holds the white man down once more.

Congrats Adventurer!