The worst name ever given?

[Alan Lynch]

Quite possibly (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7522952.stm). I hope the parents have been sterilised.

[K-DoG7p7]

I still say Shannyn Sossamon's son Audio Science Clayton takes the cake..

YES! She named her son "Audio Science" ....

[Mr.EZ]

Jason Lee's son is named Pilot Iinspektor Lee.

Friggin' awful.

[Deathstroke]

Heavenly Hirani Tiger Lily still takes the cake for me.

[Cam63]

P. Brayne
Dick Head
Dick Stayne
Lance Boyle
Misty Hymen
Peekabo Street
Michael Mouse
Donald Duke
Roger Rogerson

[Cam63]

Jason Lee's son is named Pilot Iinspektor Lee.

Friggin' awful.

Another reason to punch that fuckwit in the face.

[Grazzt]

Heavenly Hirani Tiger Lily still takes the cake for me.

That's not too bad. You can shorten it to "Lily" and it sounds normal.

[Mr.EZ]

Another reason to punch that fuckwit in the face.

A kid named Pilot Inspektor raised in scientology. I wish I was a kid so that I could beat him up.

[Alan Lynch]

They are all awful names, but Talulah Does The Hula From Hawaii? At least most of the ones listed sound like names, albeit crap ones. These buggers have to have been taking the piss. Wasn't there an Aussie couple tried calling their son 4-Real last year?

What is it with the Southern Hemisphere?

[Bo Bo]

Number 16 Bus Shelter was an allowed name!?! O.o

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

Jermajesty Jackson (brood of Jermaine) is still up there.

[Infra-Man]

Quite possibly (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7522952.stm). I hope the parents have been sterilised.

Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii?

Poor kid sounds like a really bad indie band from my part of Brooklyn. Eesh.

[CutterMike]

...or maybe not (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ima_Hogg)...!

[Christopher Cross Is God]

I always thought Moon Unit Zappa was an odd name.

I assume she pre-dates all these other unfortunately-named people mentioned in this thread.

[Bouncing Boy]

...or maybe not (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ima_Hogg)...!

Ah yes, Ima and Ura Hogg. I used to have a book called Fantastic Names of Real people, and the Hogg sisters were in there, along with Iona Liberty Bond, and Dweezle and Moon-Unit Zappa

[thespianphryne]

Ah yes, Ima and Ura Hogg. I used to have a book called Fantastic Names of Real people, and the Hogg sisters were in there, along with Iona Liberty Bond, and Dweezle and Moon-Unit Zappa

There was no "Ura".


-Das

[Romero]

I work in the juvenile justice system here and we have seen some crazy named kids come through.

It's almost as if the parents wanted the kids to be delinquent.

Your kids' names should never be used as an outlet to show how "creative" or "wacky" you think you are...

[TCJohnson]

Your kids' names should never be used as an outlet to show how "creative" or "wacky" you think you are...

Well...I plan to give my son or daughter a more unique name only because Johnson is so common. There are a lot of people in my city named Terry or Terence Johnson in my city and it is not even that common a name. I have had both loan sharks and marshals come to me thinking I was another Terry Johnson.



but the worse name I have ever come across is a little girl named Asshole. (Ash-ole-ay).

[Solaris]

They are all awful names, but Talulah Does The Hula From Hawaii? At least most of the ones listed sound like names, albeit crap ones. These buggers have to have been taking the piss. Wasn't there an Aussie couple tried calling their son 4-Real last year?

What is it with the Southern Hemisphere?

They're just getting all the press; really, it's all over (as stupid always is). Think about names like Dick Trickle (I swear, if I was that guy I would've changed my name), Pubula (met her, I swear, and it IS pronounced PUBE-You-la), and parents like the ones who name the older kid Peter, then reverse it for the second kid (Retep).

Someone should start a movement among schoolkids, a club where, when they find a classmate with a totally stupid name, they go beat up the kids PARENTS. Heh.:wink:

[Buzz Dixon]

Ethelred the Unready

[Solaris]

Well...I plan to give my son or daughter a more unique name only because Johnson is so common. There are a lot of people in my city named Terry or Terence Johnson in my city and it is not even that common a name. I have had both loan sharks and marshals come to me thinking I was another Terry Johnson.



but the worse name I have ever come across is a little girl named Asshole. (Ash-ole-ay).

Just, for the Gods' sake, if it's a boy, DON'T name him "Tiny."

:biggrin: :wink:

Seriously, there are some great names out there which are less-used that go great with common last names... here's a few ideas for you:

Boy Johnson:

Spencer
Aidan
Ian
Finn (you know I like that one!)
Geoffrey
Ara
Kent
Wendell
Chase
Chance
Sinclair
Noel
Peregrine



(and more appropriate for the less-used middle names, Beaumont or Beaudilaire, Barclay, Georges, Finch, Leonard, Random, etc.)

Girl Johnson:

Rose
Lira
Melody
Helen
Linnet or Linette
Wren
Ximena or Chimena
Iris
Aria
Dania


Yes, I love names and naming---and I like the unusual but nice.

BTW, the last I heard, my grandson will be named Timothy Drake Tinsdale. Unfortunately, Drake (what they're calling him) has become a more common name, thanks to stuff like "Drake and Josh." Still, it's not bad.

[Solaris]

Ethelred the Unready

*guffaws*

:biggrin:

[thespianphryne]

Ethelred the Unready

Wasn't really his name, but a nickname given him by later commentators. More a reflection on his council of advisers than him.


-Das

[Solaris]

Wasn't really his name, but a nickname given him by later commentators. More a reflection on his council of advisers than him.


-Das

Still funny! And I wouldn't put it past some modern parent to use it...

[heystacy]

Jermajesty Jackson (brood of Jermaine) is still up there.

What the freak was he thinking? :frown: I suppose "Prince Michael Jackson" was already taken.

[thespianphryne]

Still funny! And I wouldn't put it past some modern parent to use it...

Actually that would be awesome if some modern parent used it. Both as a reflection of their read-y-ness and their implied idiocy.


-Das

[CutterMike]

...And I believe that in an earlier, similar, thread I mentioned a fellow that I knew in college -- Jack N. Boxx.

... fortunately, when his parents married, they decided NOT to hyphenate, since her maiden name was Hatt...

[Michael P]

Number 16 Bus Shelter was an allowed name!?! O.o

"I said I was going to name this kid after the place he was born, and I meant it."

[Romero]

"I said I was going to name this kid after the place he was born, and I meant it."

Do you mean "born" or "conceived" ? :biggrin:

[Alan Lynch]

Do you mean "born" or "conceived" ? :biggrin:
Can't it be both?

[Romero]

Can't it be both?

That would make it extra special!

[Dreadstar]

I still say that girl I met back in high school named Anita Dick had it roughest.

And I wanted to name me son Richard Edward until someone pointed out the obvious nickname.

[escapegoat]

Dang, those New Zealanders are an odd bunch.....some of those jexamples ust don't classify as a name.

For some bizarre reason, I find Audio Science cool as a name.

My favorite unusual name not mentioned so far would have to be Penn Jillette's daughter.... Moxie Crimefighter.

My real last name is Ragan, and I really liked the first name Megan....but it was a no-go with the wife when it came to naming our own daughters.... :tongue:

[KevinTBrown]

No worse than a wedding I went to a few years back....

The bride's first name is Courtney. The groom's last name is Courtney. She did not keep her maiden name.

[Chuck Dixon]

My sister-in-law is a nurse and met a woman who named her baby Syphilis because she saw it in the hospital admittance form and thought it sounded pretty. She pronounced it SY-fillus.
And a guy who lived in my neighborhood when I was a kid had his name changed to Ranger Colt 45.

[TCJohnson]

Just, for the Gods' sake, if it's a boy, DON'T name him "Tiny."

:biggrin: :wink:

Seriously, there are some great names out there which are less-used that go great with common last names... here's a few ideas for you:
.

Right now my fiance and I are leaning towards Atticus if it is a boy and Willow if it is a girl.

[Dark Galaxy]

The only really bad ones in real life I've met/heard of, were:

Forrest Pine Woods (a kid I went to jr. high with)

Demonic Angel (pronounced Day-moan-eek). She's four years old, poor girl.

[escapegoat]

Just, for the Gods' sake, if it's a boy, DON'T name him "Tiny."


Haha....my wife's name is Tiny. :biggrin: However, it's actually Dutch....so it's pronounced "Teen-nee", She goes by Tineke, which is kind of the English equivalent of calling someone Mary when their actual name is Maria. Either way, North Americans have a hard time pronouncing and spelling it...

Our first daughter's name is Juliana, which isn't uncommon but not overly common at the moment. Although I discovered after she was born that my Aunt Julie's actual name is Juliana too, which I never knew beforehand. It's good thing I like that aunt.... :tongue:

Our second daughter's name is Estée, which is a little more unique. Her middle name is Helena, after my mom's middle name, so her full first/second name actually means "Star light" :smile:

[Metronome35]

Can't it be both?

Man, that bus must have been awful late.

[Flying Saucers Over Oz]

My grandfather was a bartender. I've got twin uncles named Tom and Jerry.

[Sally Sensational]

Having some experience with teenagers, I have a couple warnings for parents when it comes to naming their children:

1. Do NOT name your kid after whatever you were drunk on the night he/she was conceived - this goes double if you can't spell it! (Alize and Cavousie - which was supposed to be Courvoisier)
2. If you wish for your child to be an upstanding, Christian member of society, do not name him Christian. If you want him to torture cats, tag buildings, and smoke grass behind the school, by all means, go right ahead.
3. If you wish for your daughter to be relatively circumspect in her moral/ethical/sexual practices, do NOT name her Angel. Naming a daughter Angel generally means that you will have at least 1 grandchild BEFORE your daughter is old enough to have a driver's license.
4. Last names that end in "ly" are not good first names for girls - unless you want your daughter to drive you into the poorhouse and torment every other girl in school with her snobbery. Examples: Hadley, Lindley.
5. Changing the spelling of a popular name is NOT enough to make it so that your child has a different name. Brittany, Britony, Brytany, and Britanee are all still Brittany and there WILL still be six of them in your daughter's class.

And a warning to all would-be parents: If you are going to end up answering the question "how did you choose that name?" with "I just thought it sounded cool . . .", THINK AGAIN. Either that or make sure you have plenty of ice packs, bandaids, money for emergency room visits, and mental health coverage.

[shrike]

I hate the name Bob.

[sk716]

Right now my fiance and I are leaning towards Atticus if it is a boy and Willow if it is a girl.

Having recently met a small boy named Atticus, I'd venture to guess it's probably fallen into the fashionable name category, or will very soon. Also, he'd be completely mis-named, being as he'd be from Washington, DC, not Attica. You'd be more correct in naming him Washingtonius.

And Willow is pretty much guaranteed to get her beaten up or teased regularly.

Exhibit A:
http://www.virginmedia.com/microsites/movies/slideshow/top-ten-movie-wizards/img_8.jpg

Exhibit B:
http://www.yvonnenavarro.com/gifs/main2003/willow1a.jpg

Exhibit C:
http://www.truthzone.net/Weepingtree717.jpg

Exhibit D:
http://www.gardenaction.co.uk/images/pussy_willow_large.jpg


Having a name that provided me with hours of teasing and causing numerous fist-fights, I am always the first to speak out against names that are going to get a kid's ass kicked.

Here's a good rule of thumb, when choosing a name for your child first sing the "Banana fo fana" song with it.

Atticus Atticus bo batticus banana fana fo Fatticus.


Needless to say, Tucker is right out.

Once you've found a name that passes the Banana Fana test, sit down and think up every word that can possibly rhyme with it, or a shortened version of it. The ones with the least offensive/emotionally damaging rhymes can then be considered for the naming of the child.

Here's a good place to see most of the recorded names and their meanings/origins and also to see when names have been popular:
http://www.behindthename.com/

[section 8]

More actual names:

Grinnin Barret
Jack Hoff
Dick Hertz

And i once heard of an Olympic swimmer named Misty Hymen.

[Red Berens]

I arrested a guy once whose name was Albie Damm. It was funny because when I brought the case to the District Attorney's office, everyone felt bad for him. They said he never really stood a chance after being screwed over by his parents like that.

[heystacy]

My sister-in-law is a nurse and met a woman who named her baby Syphilis because she saw it in the hospital admittance form and thought it sounded pretty. She pronounced it SY-fillus.
And a guy who lived in my neighborhood when I was a kid had his name changed to Ranger Colt 45.

Syphilis? That's pretty sad and funny. :redface:

[section 8]

And Willow is pretty much guaranteed to get her beaten up or teased regularly.


Never name a kid ANYTHING that to which the word "P*ssy" can be applied.

And if your last name is a noun, please do not name your kid an adjective.

[Mr.EZ]

I know it's an oldie but a goodie, but I swear on a stack of Bibles that I grew up with a kid named Mike Hunt. No lie, no BS.

[section 8]

I know it's an oldie but a goodie, but I swear on a stack of Bibles that I grew up with a kid named Mike Hunt. No lie, no BS.

i knew one as well, but he was called Micheal;

[RachelEvil]

Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K.

Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K.

MOTHERFUCKING URHINES KENDALL ICY EIGHT SPECIAL K.

I've yet to hear of a worse one. (http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/stf33/public/stf33birthannouncement.pl?babyID=h33-440)

[scout1279]

My sister-in-law is a nurse and met a woman who named her baby Syphilis because she saw it in the hospital admittance form and thought it sounded pretty. She pronounced it SY-fillus.
And a guy who lived in my neighborhood when I was a kid had his name changed to Ranger Colt 45.

I always wanted to have a daughter and name her Chlamydia, but then I found this pamphlet. Did you know that Chlamydia is not, in fact, a flower? I was shocked. Shocked!

[Lester C.]

Lester. If one idiot, thinking he's the first one to come up with it, says Lester the Molester I'm going to snap and go Nico Bellic on their ass.:mad:

[Johnny_Luck]

We had two people with really horrible names that I went to high school with

Amanda Nailer, who looked like troll would be outcasted in the troll world

and

Chase Abuer(sp)-not sure on the spelling, but it came out as Chase a Bear. Luckily he was the lead singer in a rock band the school let do assemblies and everything so he got by.

[Cam63]

...or maybe not (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ima_Hogg)...!

The original Miss Piggy !

[Cam63]

What the freak was he thinking? :frown: I suppose "Prince Michael Jackson" was already taken.

So was Fwahquit Jackson.

[Alan Lynch]

I pulled a case at work the other day for a guy called BJ Blows. Good God.

[Cam63]

Dick Zucker.
Harry Bush.
I.C. Cox.

[Flying Saucers Over Oz]

There was a fairly well-known bandleader in the 1950's named Dick Hyman...

[heystacy]

So was Fwahquit Jackson.

Some parents are cruel. :redface: Jemagesty is so wrong it hurts that the mother agreed to let that name be placed on her child.