Excelsior
07-21-2008, 07:45 PM
The Non-shotty version 2.0
In Uncanny X-men #100--
The new-team X-Men battle the original team, only to discover that the old team are really X-Sentinels, built by Stephen Lang. The X-Men defeat Lang and his X-Sentinels and rescue their colleagues. During his attempted escape, the X-Men force Lang to crash his escape craft, likely killing him. However, to make their own escape, the X-Men must use the shuttle that was damaged on their arrival and fly through a major solar flare. Their only option is for Jean Grey to fly the shuttle (after telepathically absorbing Dr. Corbeau's flight skills) while using her telekinetic powers to protect the ship. With everyone else safe in a life-cell inside the shuttle, Jean pilots it towards earth, but her protective bubble starts to fail...
http://images.wikia.com/marveldatabase/images/7/78/Uncanny_X-Men_100.jpg
In Uncanny X-men 200--
Magneto is escorted in handcuffs to his trial. A reporter retells what has brought us to this point and how Freedom Force captured the "Master of Magnetism". Sir James Jaspers, the English Prime Minister is the prosecution in the trial while Gabrielle Haller and Professor X head up the defense. Meanwhile, on a boat in the Mediterranean, the Von Strucker twins toast as they watch the trial begin on television.
The trial for Magneto begins the next day. As the prosecution begins their opening statement, the unknown terrorists strike again in Germany. Gabrielle begins her opening statement. Meanwhile, the X-Men try to find who is doing these acts in their name. They decide to split up and wait for an attack and then catch their terrorists. It turns out that they don't have to wait long. The terrorists attack a hospital and Nightcrawler and Colossus are first on the scene. They save the patients of the hospital and Colossus puts out the flames. They are still blamed for the attack and the police try to stop them. They escape.
At the X-Mansion, Madelyne Pryor talks to her unborn baby about how Cyclops has not called her to check on her. Suddenly Corsair and Lilandra appear and they are looking for Professor X. Madelyne tells them he is in Paris and they go back to the stargate to transport there. As they leave Madelyne begins to go into labor. They appear at the stargate and Hepzibah radioes them that the Starjammer is under attack by Shi'ar ships. Corsair and Lilandra decide to go into the stargate to go to France and tell Binary to run if the gate collapses..
In the courtroom, the Von Strucker twins, Andrea and Andreas, attack to avenge their father. They destroy the courtroom and the battle goes into the basement. The Professor breaks the twins bond and they are powerless. Sir James Jaspers starts to attack Andrea Strucker with a brick and Magneto saves her. The judge sees Magneto's humanity. Charles begins to have a heart attack. The twins break free and break the wall and the river floods in. Magneto saves Charles from death and gets him above ground. There Professor X tells him to take over his school and teach the New Mutants and look after the X-Men. Magneto wearily says he'll try. Lilandra and Corsair arrive to take him to be saved. The judge says the court of public opinion is going to judge the X-Men and Magneto now. Phoenix says Professor X is "gone" and that she cannot "find" him when she tries to locate him telepathically. Magneto, crying, finally tells himself he will follow Xavier's dream and take over his school.
http://images.wikia.com/marveldatabase/images/5/51/Uncannyxmen200.jpg
In Uncanny X-men 300
FIRST STORY: "Legacies" (48 pages) Fabian Cortez has his Acolytes capture Moira MacTaggert. He hopes to learn the technique she used to brainwash the X-Men [in X-Men vol 2 #1-3] and use it to recruit new Acolytes. The X-Men and Nightcrawler rescue her. One of the Acolytes has a crisis of faith and runs away; another turns out to be an old acquaintance of Professor X.
What you need to know:
An awful lot of new Acolytes appear, most of them crap. In particular, there's Neophyte (yes, I know it sounds like his job title but it later turns out to be his real name), who's a teleporter; Katu, a one-armed human satellite dish (no, really) whose origin story is later dealt with in Cable; Spoor (who makes people angry); Milan (who can turn images from people's minds into TV pictures - I told you they were crap); Senyaka (who has "psionic whips"); Scanner (who does astral projection and is one of the few characters here who eventually develops a proper personality); Javitz (big, strong, dull, dull, dull); and Seamus Melloncamp (turns into a big monster). Rarely can one issue have introduced quite so many boring characters at once.
Much more important is the debut of Amelia Voght, a kind of reluctant Acolyte who is shown here as a former acquaintance of Xavier. Interestingly, it's obvious that Lobdell hadn't quite thought the character through at this stage. She calls him "sir", suggesting a relationship entirely different to the one eventually revealed in issue #309.
There's a flashback sequence which takes place during issue #1, revealing that Xavier had the "new" X-Men recruited in 1975 in mind from the start. Quite what this is supposed to add to anything has always baffled me.
http://images.wikia.com/marveldatabase/images/9/90/Uncannyxmen_300.JPG
In X-men vol 1 400
STORY: "Supreme Confessions" (44 pages) The Church of Humanity capture Stacy X, and the X-Men rescue her. The Supreme Pontiff does something to Nightcrawler (but it's not clear what), and Stacy X joins the team.
What you need to know:
The important bit is that Stacy X joins the team.
Wolverine interrogates a captured Church of Humanity soldier. The soldier gives a very weird account of the origin of the Supreme Pontiff, the Church's leader. This is evidently meant to be the version given to Church members.
According to this version, the Supreme Pontiff is several centuries old. He's the son of a frontiersman and a native American woman, born during a solar eclipse. His father developed an interest in magic, and conjured up a "beast" who came to live with the family. The "beast" seduced his mother, and together they killed the Supreme Pontiff's father. This supposedly inspired his "hatred for all things inhuman." The Pontiff taught himself magic and avenged his father's death by killing the beast.
The Pontiff also claims to have been inspired by a painting of himself as the Pope painted during the industrial revolution by an inspired blind painter. Finally, he says that he was involved with occult scientists who tried an experiment in which his consciousness would be "catapulted across the known planes of cosmic reality." As a result, his body was "ravaged by the dark energy of the universe." He eventually learned to control that energy, with the help of a suit of armour that was built for him, and founded the Church of Humanity.
So goes the story, at any rate. Wolverine is openly sceptical about the whole thing, and it's also interwoven with Stacy's own completely false account of her own history. Most probably, the idea was that this was some sort of embellished version of the story (ie, his mother left his father for a mutant and he gained superhuman powers in some sort of weird experiment).
Matters are thrown even further into confusion by Chuck Austen in issue #424. According to that story, the Supreme Pontiff is a Catholic nun who was a victim of sexual abuse and who formed the Church of Humanity with a view to destroying the Catholic Church and replacing it as a focus of religious belief.
But that simply can't be squared with this story. The Supreme Pontiff doesn't wear a mask and is seen close up by various characters. All of his followers seem to think he's a man, and Stacy X - who spends half the issue in conversation with him - describes him as "a huge guy." One possibility is that, after this story, the Pontiff was somehow replaced by Austen's Pontiff, who hijacked the Church of Humanity for her own purposes. Otherwise, it's an outright retcon. Given that most people thought the Church of Humanity were a bit crap to start with, I won't be holding my breath waiting for somebody to sort the mess out.
Back to the story. Under interrogation by the Pontiff, Stacy gives her own account of her history with the X-Men. Most of this is complete nonsense - basically, she claims to be Marvel Girl, and rewrites X-Men history with herself in that role. However, she also claims that she was a popular girl at school whose life fell apart after her powers emerged. Her stepfather was violent, and when she tried to defend her mother, she was thrown out of the house. She lived on the streets for a while until being found by (she claims) Professor X.
Now, up to the last bit, this might actually be true. It would at least square with her personality.
During the fight, the Supreme Pontiff briefly gets Nightcrawler alone. He delivers a rather cryptic speech. ("A thought occurs to me. Every sentient creature possesses a personal abyss - a harbour for their soul. All their answers contained within. Prepare to gaze into my abyss, mutant. Prepare to surrender to me that which you value most.") And Nightcrawler claims not to remember what happened. This appears to set up Nightcrawler's bout of depression over the next few issues
http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/uncanny-x-men/400-3.jpg
In Uncanny X-men vol 1 500
*SPOILER FREE* till the issue comes out
What are your predictions for the X-men in the next hundredth issue??
In Uncanny X-men #100--
The new-team X-Men battle the original team, only to discover that the old team are really X-Sentinels, built by Stephen Lang. The X-Men defeat Lang and his X-Sentinels and rescue their colleagues. During his attempted escape, the X-Men force Lang to crash his escape craft, likely killing him. However, to make their own escape, the X-Men must use the shuttle that was damaged on their arrival and fly through a major solar flare. Their only option is for Jean Grey to fly the shuttle (after telepathically absorbing Dr. Corbeau's flight skills) while using her telekinetic powers to protect the ship. With everyone else safe in a life-cell inside the shuttle, Jean pilots it towards earth, but her protective bubble starts to fail...
http://images.wikia.com/marveldatabase/images/7/78/Uncanny_X-Men_100.jpg
In Uncanny X-men 200--
Magneto is escorted in handcuffs to his trial. A reporter retells what has brought us to this point and how Freedom Force captured the "Master of Magnetism". Sir James Jaspers, the English Prime Minister is the prosecution in the trial while Gabrielle Haller and Professor X head up the defense. Meanwhile, on a boat in the Mediterranean, the Von Strucker twins toast as they watch the trial begin on television.
The trial for Magneto begins the next day. As the prosecution begins their opening statement, the unknown terrorists strike again in Germany. Gabrielle begins her opening statement. Meanwhile, the X-Men try to find who is doing these acts in their name. They decide to split up and wait for an attack and then catch their terrorists. It turns out that they don't have to wait long. The terrorists attack a hospital and Nightcrawler and Colossus are first on the scene. They save the patients of the hospital and Colossus puts out the flames. They are still blamed for the attack and the police try to stop them. They escape.
At the X-Mansion, Madelyne Pryor talks to her unborn baby about how Cyclops has not called her to check on her. Suddenly Corsair and Lilandra appear and they are looking for Professor X. Madelyne tells them he is in Paris and they go back to the stargate to transport there. As they leave Madelyne begins to go into labor. They appear at the stargate and Hepzibah radioes them that the Starjammer is under attack by Shi'ar ships. Corsair and Lilandra decide to go into the stargate to go to France and tell Binary to run if the gate collapses..
In the courtroom, the Von Strucker twins, Andrea and Andreas, attack to avenge their father. They destroy the courtroom and the battle goes into the basement. The Professor breaks the twins bond and they are powerless. Sir James Jaspers starts to attack Andrea Strucker with a brick and Magneto saves her. The judge sees Magneto's humanity. Charles begins to have a heart attack. The twins break free and break the wall and the river floods in. Magneto saves Charles from death and gets him above ground. There Professor X tells him to take over his school and teach the New Mutants and look after the X-Men. Magneto wearily says he'll try. Lilandra and Corsair arrive to take him to be saved. The judge says the court of public opinion is going to judge the X-Men and Magneto now. Phoenix says Professor X is "gone" and that she cannot "find" him when she tries to locate him telepathically. Magneto, crying, finally tells himself he will follow Xavier's dream and take over his school.
http://images.wikia.com/marveldatabase/images/5/51/Uncannyxmen200.jpg
In Uncanny X-men 300
FIRST STORY: "Legacies" (48 pages) Fabian Cortez has his Acolytes capture Moira MacTaggert. He hopes to learn the technique she used to brainwash the X-Men [in X-Men vol 2 #1-3] and use it to recruit new Acolytes. The X-Men and Nightcrawler rescue her. One of the Acolytes has a crisis of faith and runs away; another turns out to be an old acquaintance of Professor X.
What you need to know:
An awful lot of new Acolytes appear, most of them crap. In particular, there's Neophyte (yes, I know it sounds like his job title but it later turns out to be his real name), who's a teleporter; Katu, a one-armed human satellite dish (no, really) whose origin story is later dealt with in Cable; Spoor (who makes people angry); Milan (who can turn images from people's minds into TV pictures - I told you they were crap); Senyaka (who has "psionic whips"); Scanner (who does astral projection and is one of the few characters here who eventually develops a proper personality); Javitz (big, strong, dull, dull, dull); and Seamus Melloncamp (turns into a big monster). Rarely can one issue have introduced quite so many boring characters at once.
Much more important is the debut of Amelia Voght, a kind of reluctant Acolyte who is shown here as a former acquaintance of Xavier. Interestingly, it's obvious that Lobdell hadn't quite thought the character through at this stage. She calls him "sir", suggesting a relationship entirely different to the one eventually revealed in issue #309.
There's a flashback sequence which takes place during issue #1, revealing that Xavier had the "new" X-Men recruited in 1975 in mind from the start. Quite what this is supposed to add to anything has always baffled me.
http://images.wikia.com/marveldatabase/images/9/90/Uncannyxmen_300.JPG
In X-men vol 1 400
STORY: "Supreme Confessions" (44 pages) The Church of Humanity capture Stacy X, and the X-Men rescue her. The Supreme Pontiff does something to Nightcrawler (but it's not clear what), and Stacy X joins the team.
What you need to know:
The important bit is that Stacy X joins the team.
Wolverine interrogates a captured Church of Humanity soldier. The soldier gives a very weird account of the origin of the Supreme Pontiff, the Church's leader. This is evidently meant to be the version given to Church members.
According to this version, the Supreme Pontiff is several centuries old. He's the son of a frontiersman and a native American woman, born during a solar eclipse. His father developed an interest in magic, and conjured up a "beast" who came to live with the family. The "beast" seduced his mother, and together they killed the Supreme Pontiff's father. This supposedly inspired his "hatred for all things inhuman." The Pontiff taught himself magic and avenged his father's death by killing the beast.
The Pontiff also claims to have been inspired by a painting of himself as the Pope painted during the industrial revolution by an inspired blind painter. Finally, he says that he was involved with occult scientists who tried an experiment in which his consciousness would be "catapulted across the known planes of cosmic reality." As a result, his body was "ravaged by the dark energy of the universe." He eventually learned to control that energy, with the help of a suit of armour that was built for him, and founded the Church of Humanity.
So goes the story, at any rate. Wolverine is openly sceptical about the whole thing, and it's also interwoven with Stacy's own completely false account of her own history. Most probably, the idea was that this was some sort of embellished version of the story (ie, his mother left his father for a mutant and he gained superhuman powers in some sort of weird experiment).
Matters are thrown even further into confusion by Chuck Austen in issue #424. According to that story, the Supreme Pontiff is a Catholic nun who was a victim of sexual abuse and who formed the Church of Humanity with a view to destroying the Catholic Church and replacing it as a focus of religious belief.
But that simply can't be squared with this story. The Supreme Pontiff doesn't wear a mask and is seen close up by various characters. All of his followers seem to think he's a man, and Stacy X - who spends half the issue in conversation with him - describes him as "a huge guy." One possibility is that, after this story, the Pontiff was somehow replaced by Austen's Pontiff, who hijacked the Church of Humanity for her own purposes. Otherwise, it's an outright retcon. Given that most people thought the Church of Humanity were a bit crap to start with, I won't be holding my breath waiting for somebody to sort the mess out.
Back to the story. Under interrogation by the Pontiff, Stacy gives her own account of her history with the X-Men. Most of this is complete nonsense - basically, she claims to be Marvel Girl, and rewrites X-Men history with herself in that role. However, she also claims that she was a popular girl at school whose life fell apart after her powers emerged. Her stepfather was violent, and when she tried to defend her mother, she was thrown out of the house. She lived on the streets for a while until being found by (she claims) Professor X.
Now, up to the last bit, this might actually be true. It would at least square with her personality.
During the fight, the Supreme Pontiff briefly gets Nightcrawler alone. He delivers a rather cryptic speech. ("A thought occurs to me. Every sentient creature possesses a personal abyss - a harbour for their soul. All their answers contained within. Prepare to gaze into my abyss, mutant. Prepare to surrender to me that which you value most.") And Nightcrawler claims not to remember what happened. This appears to set up Nightcrawler's bout of depression over the next few issues
http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/uncanny-x-men/400-3.jpg
In Uncanny X-men vol 1 500
*SPOILER FREE* till the issue comes out
What are your predictions for the X-men in the next hundredth issue??