Would Jesus use the Internet ?

[SUPERECWFAN1]

If Jesus did return as the Bible forecasts , would he use modern means to reach the Christians and all people again ? Like would have a Youtube video telling his followers to come along ? Or would have an e-mail adress like TheJesus@yahoo.com ?

Its an interesting question . Could Jesus adapt to the 21 century and be using an Iphone and IPod ?

[Ben Morgan]

The real question is, what kind of porn would Jesus watch?

[Sanagi]

Just what the internet needs, one more guy who thinks he's the most important person on the planet.

[Donald M.]

The real question is, what kind of porn would Jesus watch?

WWJMT?
____

[Bonestorm]

I would think that since He is supposed to be coming to "save" us, that he would know by this point to create a mass of bizarre events like chains of Volcanoes shooting out skittles, or something bizarre like that.

I would guess that Jesus would have the internet and all channels that don't carry news reports shut down, so as to make sure that his coming wasn't confused for a hoax.

Then again, none of it would matter since no one will believe the savior is this tiny Middle Eastern man, and not the tall white guy with reddish hair and blue eyes.

[Demon wizard]

If Jesus did return as the Bible forecasts , would he use modern means to reach the Christians and all people again ? Like would have a Youtube video telling his followers to come along ? Or would have an e-mail adress like TheJesus@yahoo.com ?

Its an interesting question . Could Jesus adapt to the 21 century and be using an Iphone and IPod ?

Jesus already does use the internet, he just e-mailed me the other day. He said he's getting ready for the whole second coming thing, but aparently the Bus to get to Earth from Heaven is liek crazy espensive. So he wants me to send 5 grand to some guy in Kenya, cause, I don't know I guess it's easier to get it to Heaven from there.

[BlairH]

If Jesus were alive today, not only would he use the internet, but I'd imagine that the internet would actualy be the primary method of spreading his word.

[Night]

Jesus is using the internet, through is followers.

In the second coming, my guess is he won't need to. If he comes back in his glory as prophesied, every one will know it's him. "My sheep know my voice"

[Donald M.]

In the second coming, my guess is he won't need to. If he comes back in his glory as prophesied, every one will know it's him. "My sheep know my voice"

Poor choice of words . . .

I'm pretty sure you meant flock.

[StoneGold]

My grandmother can barely wrap her brain around email. Jesus has 1900 years or so on her. What are the odds he could find the on button?


Besides, if Jesus returns, it's all supposed to be fire and wraith, ain't it?

[Bonestorm]

Poor choice of words . . .


I didn't think so.

[Donald M.]

I didn't think so.

Hey, you wanna think of yourself as a sheep, don't let me stop you . . .

[Bonestorm]

Hey, you wanna think of yourself as a sheep, don't let me stop you . . .

I don't believe in the magical Jesus of Biblical lore.

[Donald M.]

I don't believe in the magical Jesus of Biblical lore.

Ah.

I guess my snark detector is on the fritz today.

[mattx110]

thesecondcuming.com

Anyway, Jesus is the internet. What bridges all people, what allows communication and discourse, and makes us all realize we are as one and brothers?

Jesus is the internet.

[Serik]

Not only would He use the Internet, He would also play WoW with the Twelve Apostles in his raiding guild.

[Wannabe]

Besides, if Jesus returns, it's all supposed to be fire and wraith, ain't it?

Yup. And all of those disasters will be on the front page of Digg.

[Omega Alpha]

thesecondcuming.com

Anyway, Jesus is the internet. What bridges all people, what allows communication and discourse, and makes us all realize we are as one and brothers?.

Violence, chaos, madness and destruction.

That, or porn.

[Bonestorm]

Ah.

I guess my snark detector is on the fritz today.

I should have used a smiley. That's what Jesus would've done.

[Charles RB]

Jesus would have his own YouTube channel.

Which would get shut down by lawsuits.

[Gary_B]

Jesus would have his own YouTube channel.

Which would get shut down by lawsuits.

... and then miraculously re-appear.

[Paul McEnery]

Jesus would google himself, and that would be the last we'd hear of him.

[BYC]

Jesus would "save" us by destroying the internet, thus turning himself heel and joining up with Satan in the most massive swerve of all time. God would get chairshotted like 20 times, and JR would go "OH MY..................GOD"

[Grazzt]

... and then miraculously re-appear after three days.

Fixed. :tongue:

[Night]

Poor choice of words . . .

I'm pretty sure you meant flock.

Sorry I didn't get back to this sooner, but I was paraphrasing a parable In John 10. Jesus is using the sheep-shepherd relationship as a metaphor to follower-Jesus relationship.

"Most certainly, I tell you, one who doesn't enter by the door into the sheep fold, but climbs up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber. But one who enters in by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name, and leads them out. Whenever he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. They will by no means follow a stranger, but will flee from him; for they don't know the voice of strangers."

Jesus spoke this parable to them, but they didn't understand what he was telling them.

Jesus therefore said to them again, "Most certainly, I tell you, I am the sheep's door. All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep didn't listen to them. I am the door. If anyone enters in by me, he will be saved, and will go in and go out, and will find pasture. The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand, and not a shepherd, who doesn't own the sheep, sees the wolf coming, leaves the sheep, and flees. The wolf snatches the sheep, and scatters them. The hired hand flees because he is a hired hand, and doesn't care for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own, and I'm known by my own; even as the Father knows me, and I know the Father. I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep, which are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will hear my voice. They will become one flock with one shepherd.

[Cyke]

I think a lot of televangelists would attempt to discredit Him, for fear of losing their primary source of income from gullible viewers. So their respective websites would just keep preaching hateful things and make Jesus weep.

For that matter, the higher-ups of Catholic Church is so beaurcratic and political (putting faith and theological study on the backburner) now that I wouldn't be surprised if they did the same thing and label the real-deal Jesus as blasphemous. And there goes another gigantic ton of websites there.

So back to the question, if the Son of God were to use the Internet, he'd have to, I dunno, relive His original corporeal life all over again with the persecution and disbelief and violence and odds. Except, rather than corporeal, it would all be virtual and possibly even more intense.

[Royal]

The real question is, what kind of porn would Jesus watch?

Light BDSM. Maybe pierce fetish.

I suspect a bit of NMCW as well.

[Royal]

Jesus would have his own YouTube channel.

Which would get shut down by lawsuits.

Or have his shit stolen by Viacom.

Either way.

[JonniRandom]

Jesus did come back...as a man named Grant Morrison, now let's crucify him for what he did to Authority!

[Spike-X]

if the Son of God were to use the Internet, he'd have to, I dunno, relive His original corporeal life all over again with the persecution and disbelief and violence and odds. Except, rather than corporeal, it would all be virtual and possibly even more intense.

"All of this has happened before, and will happen again."

[berk]

"If you'd lived today you would have reached a whole nation -
Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication."

[Resplendent]

lol Imagine if he came onto a forum and got flamed for preaching. Then Jesus sets them on fire and teleports, takes a picture of it, and makes a hilarious gif. Moreover, I wonder what computer he would use....

Honestly, I don't think Jesus would use the internet to get through to everyone since well....not everyone has a computer.

[socool8520]

There's no need for the Internet with Jesus. He'd probably just contact you through a vision or dream like he did before. Much easier and he won't get dinged for bad grammar. :biggrin:

[Paradox]

I don't recall Jesus visiting people in dreams or visions when he was a corporeal being. Perhaps you could explain?

[socool8520]

I don't recall Jesus visiting people in dreams or visions when he was a corporeal being. Perhaps you could explain?

I'm sorry, I meant God did. I figure in his second coming he would use visions and what not too. I'm sure it's within his abilities.