Moral Dilemma

[Wrigley]

I am way out in the bush, and visiting a school we provide lunches for. It is rare for a white man to be out there, so all the kids are pretty excited, and enjoy looking at the pictures i'm taking of them.

Happen to look back, and there is a infant on the hood of my car.I see the mother, and I call to her. She looks at me, grabs the baby, and runs off.

Abandoned infants are common here. We adopted twins, and my daughter has a scar on her knee, because the common practice is to cut a child so the blood will draw preditors.

What do i do? Should i chase her and ask her what she is going to do with the baby? I'm scheduled to speak in front of the students, and the headmaster calls me to speak.

I look back and she is gone, as is the infant.

I did nothing, and now i can't sleep at night.

[Ben Morgan]

Out in the bush? :confused:

[TCJohnson]

Out in the bush? :confused:

Wrigley is a guidence councelor in Africa. He does a lot of good work, even given an award by CNN.

You can learn more about him here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N18GF8EYtSg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=451a94jO5I4

[Sound Silence]

It doesn't sound like there's anything you could have done. Don't lose sleep over it, I mean, you can't fix everything that goes wrong in the world.

[Gail Simone]

Good god.

I don't know what happened here, Wrigley, but I do know that you couldn't do the wrong thing morally if you tried. It simply isn't in you.

This situation most likely did not have a happy ending in the cards no matter what you did and you can't be blamed for not instantly sizing up an impossible situation and finding a solution in a split-second. Most people go their lifetimes without doing as much good for people who really need it as you are doing on a regular basis.

Gail

[TCJohnson]

I am way out in the bush, and visiting a school we provide lunches for. It is rare for a white man to be out there, so all the kids are pretty excited, and enjoy looking at the pictures i'm taking of them.

Happen to look back, and there is a infant on the hood of my car.I see the mother, and I call to her. She looks at me, grabs the baby, and runs off.

Abandoned infants are common here. We adopted twins, and my daughter has a scar on her knee, because the common practice is to cut a child so the blood will draw preditors.

What do i do? Should i chase her and ask her what she is going to do with the baby? I'm scheduled to speak in front of the students, and the headmaster calls me to speak.

I look back and she is gone, as is the infant.

I did nothing, and now i can't sleep at night.

What makes you think that the mother meant to do the child hard? Maybe she was just scared of white people.

[livin_target]

I think by the fact she left the child on your car indicates that the mother isn't out to just get rid of the child but is trying to give it to someone who can provide for it better than she can instead of leaving it for some predators, so hopefully the child will be alright.

As for what happened, you did nothing wrong. Most people would have frozen in a similar situation or less and you couldn't have predicted the mother would just run off like that.

[Tobias March]

Don't torture yourself sir. You're making the world a better place, focus on that.

[cedardryad]

Yeah don't torture yourself. You are doing good over there and i know the feeling of wanting to fix everything and making everything better. Sometimes you just can't get to everything.

[Red Jack]

Put it away. You can't save everyone. You're doing plenty.

[Solaris]

Think of it like a car accident, where you see the other car heading straight for you, but the sudden sheer shock of it all momentarily freezes you from putting on the brakes or cutting to the side... that "momentary shock" thing occurs in all kinds of situations, and hon: you're utterly blameless in having it. Sometimes, it just takes the brain a few seconds to process the totally unexpected---and often, it's just too late to do *any*thing after that. You're normal, and human---and the fact that you have lost sleep fretting over the hindsight of it makes you a good human, to boot.

*hugs*

But it's time to let go, now. In the meantime, IIRC you have some faith going on in your heart, right? So put it all in God's hands, and simply pray for the mother and baby to do well and be well. Such prayers are never wasted.

[Red Berens]

Other posters - especially Gail have already said what I'm thinking, and much better than I could. After watching those two videos, I just wish I could shake your hand.

[Wrigley]

Good god.

I don't know what happened here, Wrigley, but I do know that you couldn't do the wrong thing morally if you tried. It simply isn't in you.

This situation most likely did not have a happy ending in the cards no matter what you did and you can't be blamed for not instantly sizing up an impossible situation and finding a solution in a split-second. Most people go their lifetimes without doing as much good for people who really need it as you are doing on a regular basis.

Gail

Thanks all for the good words. Sometimes in the middle of the night, it is just good to vent and whine. Thanks for putting up with it.

[TCJohnson]

Think of it like a car accident, where you see the other car heading straight for you, but the sudden sheer shock of it all momentarily freezes you from putting on the brakes or cutting to the side... that "momentary shock" thing occurs in all kinds of situations, and hon: you're utterly blameless in having it. Sometimes, it just takes the brain a few seconds to process the totally unexpected---and often, it's just too late to do *any*thing after that. You're normal, and human---and the fact that you have lost sleep fretting over the hindsight of it makes you a good human, to boot.

Oddly enough, you described something that happened to me about a year ago. It was a rainy day, and the car before me (which was speeding) began to hydroplane, I guess, smacked into the jersey wall and then spun into my lane. The roads were too wet to slam on the breaks and I missed the guy by a couple of inches I think. After it happened I kept driving and the only thing I could think was, "God that was close." It didn't occur to me until like 5 seconds later that I should have stopped to see if the guy was ok, but I was already a hundred yards down the highway and no place to turn around. So I called 911 instead.

Still bothered me for days after that I didn't stop when I should have.

But I guess we are just human.

[beetlebum]

Wow.

I don't know what to say, except you have my sympathy.

I've heard stories of African missionaries (from the West) who have had people come up to them and offer them their, children--as they figure their kids would be better off in the hands of the Westerner, than with their families.

It's a really sad, heartbreaking situation.

And Gail summed up my sentiments best.

May God give you the strength to endure whatever trials come your way.

Lord knows you'll need it.

[Alan Lynch]

You're doing great things out there Wrigley, so I hope you don't beat yourself up over the possibility that this ended badly. You didn't do anything, and it doesn't look like there's anything you could do anyway. Like others have said, focus on the positive effect you know you're making.

[section 8]

ok dad was a 'nam vet so i hear "in the bush" i think "in combat"

umm...so what's the problem? you can't babysit the world, our already doing more to help them than most people ever will. what if you HAD chased her down? wha good would have come of it?

cut yourself some slack friend