Avatar contest for the week of April 02, 2008

[K'Nort]

Usual rules, blah, blah, blah, quack, quack, quack.


This week's theme is :

SHINY

[StoneGold]

Dibs on bald people!

[Perry Holley]

Dibs on Firefly.

[Mac Danny]

Dibs on the Photoshop Lens Flare.

Avatar to follow.

[Michael P]

Dibs on chromium covers.

[Bouncing Boy]

Dibs on Firefly.

DAMN YOU!!!!

Um, dibs on Tin Foil Hats

[Michael P]

One of the many, many ways we comic readers were suckers in the '90s was the fact that we would buy any damn thing a company would crap out as long as it was sandwiched between shiny paper and cost $4.95. We were unrepentant suckers for this gimmick, and we should all be ashamed. Hence, the Chromium Cover Cavalcade!

Today's cover is Bloodshot 1, from Valiant, one of the particularly egregious offenders in this trend. This book sold a million copies, and I don't think anyone alive could tell you what happened in it. This is what we were like back then.

[Matt Algren]

One of the many, many ways we comic readers were suckers in the '90s was the fact that we would buy any damn thing a company would crap out as long as it was sandwiched between shiny paper and cost $4.95. We were unrepentant suckers for this gimmick, and we should all be ashamed. Hence, the Chromium Cover Cavalcade!

Today's cover is Bloodshot 1, from Valiant, one of the particularly egregious offenders in this trend. This book sold a million copies, and I don't think anyone alive could tell you what happened in it. This is what we were like back then.
Is that the one with the bullet hole that went through the book but wasn't incorporated into every page? That was stupid.

[Ed Cunard]

Dibs on a knee peeking out ever so tentatively from under a skirt.

[StoneGold]

Is that the one with the bullet hole that went through the book but wasn't incorporated into every page? That was stupid.

No, that was a Malibu book. I want to say the Ferret. Definitely Protectors related. And every 50th copy or something had powder burns.

[Matt Algren]

No, that was a Malibu book. I want to say the Ferret. Definitely Protectors related. And every 50th copy or something had powder burns.
And later, jiz stains.

BTW, dibs on shiny bathroom wallpaper.

[Michael P]

Is that the one with the bullet hole that went through the book but wasn't incorporated into every page? That was stupid.

No, that was apparently an issue of Malibu's The Protectors.

[StoneGold]

Protectors #5. Don't know why I thought it was one of the spinoff books. Maybe because it happened like 15 years ago.

[Matt Algren]

Protectors #5. Don't know why I thought it was one of the spinoff books. Maybe because it happened like 15 years ago.
http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/4577/400/4577_4_05.jpg

That's the one.


That's right: there's a 3/8 inch (http://yetanothercomicsblog.blogspot.com/2005_04_01_archive.html) hole drilled right through the entire comic, reprinting a bullet hole through the bloody chest of the hero on the cover (drawn by Thomas Derenick & Mike S. Miller). The cover was also cardstock and embossed.

The hero in question in the young Night Mask, son of the original Night Mask and member of The Protectors. The cover commemorates the story inside (written by R. A. Jones and drawn by Thomas Derenick & Mike Deodato) that featured the brutal killing of Night Mask by the group's main villain, the diabolical Mr. Monday. (Of course, in the story Night Mask was never actually shot in the chest, but never let the contents of a story get in the way of a gimmick cover!)

[Cei-U!]

I'm in with comicdom's shiniest super-hero, that cosmic crybaby, The Silver Surfer.

Cei-U!
I summon the Simonize!

[Ben Morgan]

Nevermind, I'm in with this thinghttp://twistedphysics.typepad.com/cocktail_party_physics/images/2007/08/07/bean.jpg

[Night]

A testament to why people from different generations shouldn't share drugs....

Shiny Happy People

[jessecuster3]

Kiss my shiny metal ass!

[Paradox]

Dibs on the folks at Liquid! Color, who never seemed to learn that just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you should.

Everything in the world isn't shiny, guys. Especially not SKIN you nitwits.

[Ed Cunard]

Thank god I'm unemployed. Who'd have thought searching images for "skirt" would have come up with that much porn?

Look at those knees. They are shy. Shy knees.

[Paradox]

...


**phones hit man with Ed's name and address**

[Spike-X]

The blingiest of all bike bling - Industy Nine hubs.

[Agent Helix]

I'm in with famed conquistador and all-around bastard Francisco Pizarro, who demanded a whole room full of gold from the Incas. Shiny, shiny gold!

[Typo Lad]

Dibs on Shiny Entertainment, creators of Earthworm Jim, MDK and other fine games.

Man I miss playing MDK.

[Dennis K]

I'm in with comicdom's shiniest super-hero, that cosmic crybaby, The Silver Surfer.

Cei-U!
I summon the Simonize!



Winner.....

[4thHorseman]

black eyes, aka shiners

could someone possibly crop out everything but the eye here? unfortunately don't have any way to do that here at work

http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/8589/2003020920gord20black20vu4.th.jpg (http://img89.imageshack.us/my.php?image=2003020920gord20black20vu4.jpg)

[Squirrel]

Nevermind, I'm in with this thinghttp://twistedphysics.typepad.com/cocktail_party_physics/images/2007/08/07/bean.jpg

.....WTF is that?!?!?! Giant metal kidney? Testicle?

[Squirrel]

Well, this is my favorite shiny. I didn't have enough money to buy it =(

http://www.thaigemstore.net/im01/QR005-001-001-1.jpg

[Matt Algren]

I can't do it. I just can't look at that horrible wallpaper all week. It's not even shiny, now that I think about it. It's more burnished.

So I'm out until I can come up with something else.

[Michael P]

Chromium cover #2 is Ninjak #1, another Valiant book. This one is notable because everyone was all hyper and salivating about it while all they knew was the name. Nowadays, it's the one thing Joe Quesada would like everyone to forget more than Spider-Man's marriage.

[Bouncing Boy]

I give you the tin foil hat, favorite of nutjobs and conspiacy theorists everywhere.

[Perry Holley]

Okay, I'm in with Firefly, where the word "shiny" was used as a euphamism for something neat or interesting.

(I'm specifically using Kaylee in my avatar, as she seemed to like to use the expression more than most)

http://www.ficwriter.com/FireflyCast1b.jpg

[Michael P]

New day, new gimmick cover: Chaos Comics' Lady Death: Between Heaven and Hell 1. This is actually two stupid '90s gimmicks in one, as Lady Death was the flagship character of the "Bad Girls" trend: Scantily-clad, large-breasted women, usually horror-related, in paper-thin stories that somehow allowed for gratuitous violence and cheesecake shots on every page. Believe it or not, there were people at the time who called this a step forward for women in comics.

[The One Called Kev....]

I'm in... Might as well get my feet wet here with this....

[StarsAndGarters]

Dibs on Alex Ross armor.

http://www.alexrossart.com/galleries/justice_covers/thumb/justice_armor_thumb.jpg

[Michael P]

Same shit, different cover. Evil Ernie: Straight to Hell 1. Ernie was notable as Chaos Comics's only non-female headliner, and as such, their only headliner to routinely appear fully clothed.

[mattx110]

Is it too late?

My bald blue head (in reality, i'm neither bald, nor blue)

[StoneGold]

Is it too late?

My bald blue head (in reality, i'm neither bald, nor blue)

Just the opposite. I dibsed on bald guys, but I was all lazy (or busy) to make the av. Which was stupid, I was just going to steal one of Howy's.



So instead, I'm going with Nicholson in The Shining. Here's Johnny!!!!

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Sections/Travel%20Section/Summer%20Travel/060608_shining_vmed_1p.widec.jpg

[mattx110]

Just the opposite. I dibsed on bald guys, but I was all lazy (or busy) to make the av. Which was stupid, I was just going to steal one of Howy's.



So instead, I'm going with Nicholson in The Shining. Here's Johnny!!!!

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Sections/Travel%20Section/Summer%20Travel/060608_shining_vmed_1p.widec.jpg
I can un-enter or change if you like.

This is a specific celebrity among microsoft fans. Or people who like blue umm... balls.

[Paradox]

Eh, dropping my dibs. It wasn't that good and Decorum's shiny enough. Not a winner, but I'm feeling too lazy to change this week. =P

[Michael P]

If you thought Marvel didn't get in on the Chromium goodness, you're wrong and dumb. Here we have Double Edge Alpha, the book that launched Marvel's entirely meaningless "Marvel Edge" imprint, where they stuck basically all the books that weren't X-Men, Spider-Man, or Avengers related (Fantastic Four counted as "Avengers-related" for these purposes). This meant books like Incredible Hulk, Daredevil, and Dr. Strange all of a sudden had to relate to one another, so we got a truly meaningless crossover wherein Punisher killed Nick Fury, and Wolverine was totally sure it wasn't an LMD, so of course it turned out to be a really *special* LMD. And people wonder why Marvel went bankrupt.

[Josh S]

I'm in with grills.

[Lance]

I'm in with... the piano genius from the... movie Shine!

http://www.denisdutton.com/helfgott.jpg

[Stinky Feet]

.....WTF is that?!?!?! Giant metal kidney? Testicle?
Testidney
Kidesticle

[Ben Morgan]

.....WTF is that?!?!?! Giant metal kidney? Testicle?Giant metal testicle?

[Sanagi]

It's a spaceship with the voice of Peewee Herman.

[Stinky Feet]

It's a spaceship with the voice of Peewee Herman.

YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

Flight of the Navigator!!!
http://www.debevec.org/ReflectionMapping/fn-ship.jpg
http://twistedphysics.typepad.com/cocktail_party_physics/images/2007/08/07/bean.jpg

[Sanagi]

That's a movie I should watch again and see if it lives up to my memory.

[Michael P]

Today's cover is X-Men: Alpha. I'm too tired for historical snark, but it's from the period where Roger Cruz was making a good living by tracing Joe Madureira. Make up your own joke based on that.

[Cei-U!]

Time to vote!

Much as I loves me some Bender, I gotta cast my ballot this week for Bouncing Boy and his tin foil hat.

Cei-U!
I summon the Reynolds Wrap!

[jessecuster3]

Ben Morgan, for showing some love for Chicago.

[Agent Helix]

I vote for the guy with the thing.

I mean Bouncing Boy.

[Night]

Thank god I'm unemployed. Who'd have thought searching images for "skirt" would have come up with that much porn?
uh huh... and the safesearch settings on the search engine were accidentally set to the lowest setting...

btw... a vote for Cei-U!

[Mac Danny]

My vote is for Michael P and the Chromium Stamped covers.

They just out at you at the newsstand!

[Michael P]

One more cover, and this one's a doozy: The Chromium Man #3 from Triumphant Comics. Triumphant was one of many shameless, shameless publishers that sprang up in the early '90s, taking advantage of the many saps who fell for the various "collectibility" gimmicks of the time (they actually billed themselves as "The Collector's Universe!"). Aside from publishing a comic about a man made of chromium as an excuse to give every issue a chromium cover (a feat of Brobdingnagian irony in and of itself), each issue of each comic was individually numbered, like those stupid little plates you buy on the QVC. This had the added humorous effect of advertising their shitty sales numbers right on the covers (this comic is number 14,219 of 25,000!). The book was otherwise notable for early Adam Pollina art and tits.

Perhaps inevitably, Chromium Man has been optioned for feature film development by -- wait for it -- Platinum Studios.

[Paradox]

Ben Morgan's giant shiny testicle confuses and frightens me.

[4thHorseman]

Cei-U!

I was tempted to pick the giant shiny teste, but...

[morna]

There were several I liked; the shiny testicle, Cei-U's surfer, Bender of course and Perry Holley's firefly reference but I'm going to end up with Ed Cunard's knees, they grew on me all week.

[Bouncing Boy]

I have to vote for Perry Holley for his Kayle avatar. I wish I had thought of it before he did.

[Ben Morgan]

Squirrel's avatar has been mezmerising me all week, so I vote for her

[Slam_Bradley]

Ben Morgan and his shiny penis.

[Perry Holley]

Another vote for Cei-U!

[mattx110]

Agent Helix. I'm into the whole "older men" fantasy.

[Chris Nowlin]

I summon the vote for Cei-U!

[GloryQuest]

I'm vote for Cei-U.

[Mac Danny]

I SUMMON THE WINNING AVATAR!


CEI-U is the winner this week with a whopping 5 votes for everyones shiny emo space surfer!

[Cei-U!]

Well, I'll be damned. Okay then, new contest up soon!

Cei-U!
I take my victory lap!

[Agent Helix]

One day... one day.